Things you will never hear your GM say

[Beelzebub1111]

Just what it says in the title.
D&D:
"You get on the boat, set sail, and reach your destination without incident."
"I don't see any problem with you playing an incantarix"

Vampire:
"The prince is very grateful and rewards you handsomely for your efforts. You have made a true friend this day"

Dark Heresy:
"Your inquisitor takes your suggestion into consideration, as he values the input of his underlings"

Star Wars:
"Yeah, you can play as a Yuuzhan Vong"
"We're playing in Legacy era"

[Hyena]

Star Wars
Maybe, the balance favours the jedi after all.
It needs nerf.
I am banning this.
I am so proud of how you are working together to solve this.

DnD
Your characters are exceptional people, it's no place for realism.
You successfuly break this wooden bar with your hands.
I let you take 10.
I will not homerule this.
I allow you to take something outside of the Player's handbook.
Turns out, tier system is not artificial and actually exists.
Fighter is a weak class.

World of Darkness
It's a dramatic system, so you have families and friends.
Starting with three five points in the disciplines is not okay.

[Warren Dew]

D&D:
"You get on the boat, set sail, and reach your destination without incident."
"I don't see any problem with you playing an incantarix"
I've said that. Frequently, even.

[TheCountAlucard]

Shadowrun - turns out the job was easy after all - it goes off without a hitch!

Exalted - let's play Alchemicals!

[QuintonBeck]

D&D
Finally! someone wanting to murder my NPCs!

Of course the Solar has wish prepared!

[OverdrivePrime]

D&D
Your clever plan is wholly successful.
Sure you can have level-appropriate gear. How much do you want?
What? No! Of course nothing bad happens to your character's friends and family.

Vampire
Your clever plan is wholly successful.
There probably isn't anyone more powerful than you around here.
You can relax now, the Tremere was totally sincere.

Shadowrun
Your clever plan is wholly successful.
Well, looks like everyone kept their word. You go home after the run without a problem.
Of course you're not being tailed in astral space. You're nobodies, why would that happen?

Star Wars
Your clever plan is wholly successful.
Why would Darth Vader show up here? That's ridiculous.
After a series of stellar astrogation checks, it looks like you can rest easy for a while.

Rifts
Your clever plan is wholly successful.
Sure, let's have a campaign based on one of the many interesting worldbooks instead of totally screwing you over with a series of increasingly-improbable DMPCs.
That's probably enough firepower.

[Ninjadeadbeard]

D&D
Your clever plan is wholly successful.

My other DM friend and I say that practically every ten minutes, forget every session.

[Alex12]

My other DM friend and I say that practically every ten minutes, forget every session.

It doesn't count when it's said sarcastically.

[BWR]

Just what it says in the title.
D&D:
"You get on the boat, set sail, and reach your destination without incident."


I've said this. Several times. Perfectly seriously.

[some guy]

Call of Cthulhu
I can't believe no one lost any sanity this evening! You all sure made stellar decisions!

After reading the ancient tome, you are comforted by the fact that mankind continues to improve itself through the quest for more knowledge. +1d6 san!

Any Game
Those decisions made in successive order sure were completely logical and in no way contradictive of one another.

[Ninjadeadbeard]

It doesn't count when it's said sarcastically.

Actually it's said angrily, with much gnashing of teeth and many burning NPC sheets. :smalltongue:

My players destroy universes. They're the kind to kill all the Dragons, loot all the Dungeons, and then tear down the heavens and shatter the foundations of the earth as a parting shot.

[Mr Beer]

DnD
Your characters are exceptional people, it's no place for realism.

I thought this was explicitly understood by just about every GM? D&D is terrible for realism.

[Hamste]

D&D 3.5

"Truenamer you say? Why that's a fine and respectable class."

"What, you want to be a monk? That is way too powerful and op...why don't you be a druid instead?"

"You killed the magic vendor easily...add a million gp worth of magic items to your character sheet."

"I'm sorry but we are going to have to nerf the fighter and possibly make the wizard stronger."

"Initiate of the Seven Veils? Sure, I see no reason why you can't take that class."

[Kornaki]

I thought this was explicitly understood by just about every GM? D&D is terrible for realism.

You obviously haven't read the threads about upgrading the fighter class around here

[Crazyfailure13]

D&D/Pathfinder:

"all of your characters aren't murderhobos and want to do good deeds for free? Why not?"

"Your characters do things like sane people."

"You want to go sleep with the Albino Halfling, who's only a foot and a half tall? Ok."

"You jump down the side of the canyon because you saw something shiny? you land on a giant pile of invisible gold and are rich."

[navar100]

"The elves welcome you warmly to their land."

"In character you know a lot about this. I'll jot down a few notes you can reference for now to play the game. I'll email you the rest for later games."

"Your knowledge check tells you, in game terms, the monster has AC 23, 54 hit points, Fortitude +7, Reflex +3, Will +5, no DR or SR, is immune to electricity, and three times per day casts Lightning Bolt as an 8th level caster as a spell-like ability."

"As you listen at the door, you can hear 4 orcs in the room. Two are roughly on the other side of the room playing cards. The other two are near the door trying to be quiet, but you heard them anyway. They are ready for a fight. The dripping you hear is just a waterclock."

At some point in the dungeon. "You find a large diamond. Your appraise tells you it's roughly worth 10,000 gold pieces." At the end of the adventure. "What, no, you still have the diamond. It's not a key for anything."

"Roll an Intelligence check" . . . "Ok, you figure out the riddle and know to open the third door from the left to safety."

"You get a response to your Divination spell. While using the ring itself won't hurt you, the one who lost it wants it back and is actively looking for it. He is dangerous and likely to attack first and ask questions never."

"You saved Village Anytown from the goblin attack. You brought the bandits of Trade Road to justice. The Duke would love to see you and thank you personally. I agree. He should be warned of this bugbear threat you discovered, says the Palace Guard as he escorts you inside."

[Sith_Happens]

I thought this was explicitly understood by just about every GM? D&D is terrible for realism.

Yes, but very few of them seem to take it lying down.

[Jay R]

"Oh, you misunderstood the situation? OK, you can re-do your action."

[vasharanpaladin]

"Players get too many nice things."

"No, we're playing Pathfinder, not 4e."

:smallfurious:

[Cloud]

D&D
"I'm perfectly happy with you ruining my masterpiece encounter with 1 spell. Nothing will come back to bite you for this."

WoD
"Those hunters are perfectly understanding that Mages are still humans, not real monsters."

[Mr Beer]

You obviously haven't read the threads about upgrading the fighter class around here

I have not.


Yes, but very few of them seem to take it lying down.

Well, it's supposed to be unrealistic, the trick is deciding what is reasonably realistic in that setting.

[Lord Raziere]

let see….

DnD:
"lets run a beer and pretzels game"
"lets run a super-optimized campaign with all 3.5 wizards"
"we are all playing kleptomaniac murderhobos"
"creative awesome concepts are not allowed here"
"Paladins should keep their stick up their backsides ram-rod straight, and the lawful good alignment should always be adhered to by them"

Urban Fantasy:
"There is no apocalypses that have already happened."
"the world is not screwed up."
"the supernatural is still secret"

my GM is awesome…of course I agree with him on a lot so….yeah. probably would never seriously utter these sentences myself.

[Manly Man]

D&D: "Tristalt, anyone?"

[InQbait]

"You can torture that NPC you captured in any way you want."

"I love how you want to run businesses and rule the world instead of actually adventuring. You're method of playing roleplaying games is so effective and f*cking brilliant, man."

[TuggyNE]

"What, you want to be a monk? That is way too powerful and op...why don't you be a druid instead?"
[…]
"I'm sorry but we are going to have to nerf the fighter and possibly make the wizard stronger."

I've seen at least one thread, each, in which the OP was told exactly that by their DM.

[Lorsa]

"I will GM now so you don't have to"... oh wait that was something I will never hear my players say, my mistake... :smallsmile:


EDIT: For the sake of being honest, I do get to play some nowadays. It is only true for my oldest friends that I've played with for ages.

[Sith_Happens]

I've seen at least one thread, each, in which the OP was told exactly that by their DM.

Only one? You haven't been reading very many threads.

[Eldan]

"Yes of course I will run a game. No, no, I'm not quitting before the first session is even scheduled."

[DigoDragon]

"No, my personal DMPCs will not be making an appearance in this adventure."

[Alex12]

"In this setting, alignment is ironclad, and all spells with the [evil] tag are assumed to be evil. Especially Deathwatch."
"Of course you can play a Spellstitched Necropolitan Wizard/Tainted Scholar, and I won't try and screw you over with it."
"We won't be tracking encumbrance or supplies like food in this campaign."

[TuggyNE]

Only one? You haven't been reading very many threads.

Nah, I just have a sufficiently bad memory for exact details that I'm pessimistically giving the lowest possible number of threads I can be sure of. And I am, in fact, quite sure of the facts given. :smallwink:

[Zavoniki]

Eclipse Phase:

Why yes, Firewall is totally ok with you unleashing an X-Threat.

Of course the TITAN AI would love to help you.

No, the BBEG didn't have any backups, why would he spend the money on those?

After looking at the Exsurgent Video you realize it is totally harmless and tells you about the joy and wonder in the universe. Regain 1d10 Lucidity and lose a Trauma.

You can have whatever gear, mods, and morphs you want for this mission.

The enemy never has TacNet.

The Space Whales are not secretly plotting to take over the Universe.

[Crazyfailure13]

Any Game:

"Yes I used a weighted die."

"Yes I fudged the die roll in the dire dragon's favor."

"Because you weren't on fire enough."

"your flashlight goes out because of a tired cliche where the monster is sneaking up behind you, only to pop out the minute your light comes back on in the direction you were facing originally."

"Smile I'm not trying to kill your fictional persona."

[SimonMoon6]

"You know, you're right, it *would* be stupid for a wizard to protect his lair with riddles. Why would he only want smart people to steal his stuff?"

[Beelzebub1111]

"You know, you're right, it *would* be stupid for a wizard to protect his lair with riddles. Why would he only want smart people to steal his stuff?"
I actually played with that one. I had a knights and knaves puzzle to get into a wizard's house with the clue hinting that you had to get the two statues to agree on something. The actual password to get in was "Bezekira in the Halibut Party Cucumber Vagrant" Which they found out after they broke in through the garden (guarded by a Tendriculos) and checked the weekly password rotation system.

[navar100]

"You drink from the fountain and get fresh water. Nothing else happens."

"The statues are ornate. They're just decoration. You reach the other end of the hallway."

"You find the hobgoblin camp. Because of your tracking they were not expecting you to catch up to them so quickly. It's obvious not everyone is ready for battle. You get a surprise round. Good job there, ranger."

[Crazyfailure13]

"You reach the end of the very long corridor without anything happening."

"Ok, you trip out just fine, enjoy your time and wake up in your room, with only your friends wondering what your been doing for three days alone."

[Sith_Happens]

"Thank you very much for pointing out that plot hole. I appreciate your attention to detail."

[Sidmen]

"We won't be tracking encumbrance or supplies like food in this campaign."
I say this at the start of every dang game I run. Of course, I almost always run games where the PCs are playing rich people who can afford pack animals and such without difficulty.

[Angel Bob]

"What? No, of course this NPC won't betray you later on. He is nothing but sincere."

[Jay R]

"No, don't worry about it. I'll pay for the pizza."

[navar100]

"You don't like this house rule? Ok, I won't use it."

[Deophaun]

D&D: "Your character seems a bit weak. Have you ever heard of a Kobold named Pun-Pun?"

[Sliver]

D&D: "Tristalt, anyone?"

I'm running one right now. :smalltongue:

With another game starting recently where all the players have Divine Rank 0 among other things. :smallamused:

[Beelzebub1111]

"Reserve feats? go ahead! looks like fun!"

[Cealocanth]

"Thank you very much for pointing out that plot hole. I appreciate your attention to detail."

I've said this one before, albeit a bit self-detrimentally. When you look at your GMing style as something that you're learning and seek to improve it, then having your players point out plot holes actually helps make the campaign better.

D&D:

"That incredibly stupid action would cause a TPK and end the campaign. I'm going to let you reconsider that one."

"You actually want to play a Half-Vampire Vampire Vampire Vampire? Okay!"

"For the last time, the forest is just a forest. There's nothing hiding in there."

"The Mind Flayer greets you with open arms and welcomes you into it's study. After sharing a nice cup of tea with you, you have a nice conversation with it and move on, feeling a nice sense of self satisfaction as you leave."
Yes, the excessive use of "nice" was intentional.

[Gemini Lupus]

"Kobolds don't exist"

"Yes of course you can play a Dragonwrought Kobold"

"No, you can't have an epic backstory with lots of flavor that adds to not only your character but the game itself." - Mine and my best friend's.

"There isn't a Deck of Many Things in this campaign" - That one's mine, I love the DoMT. :smallbiggrin:

[sparky9042]

"Diplomacy is just fine as is."

"Glibness? That's a pretty well-balanced spell."

[Manly Man]

"The Mind Flayer greets you with open arms and welcomes you into it's study. After sharing a nice cup of tea with you, you have a nice conversation with it and move on, feeling a nice sense of self satisfaction as you leave."

I did something similar, except that the mind flayer kept sliding around well-disguised phallic inuendo. When one of the players asked him what he was talking about, he'd just tell them it was a "tentacle joke".

[Slipperychicken]

"In character you know a lot about this. I'll jot down a few notes you can reference for now to play the game. I'll email you the rest for later games."




What? No! Of course nothing bad happens to your character's friends and family.



"That incredibly stupid action would cause a TPK and end the campaign. I'm going to let you reconsider that one."




"You find the hobgoblin camp. Because of your tracking they were not expecting you to catch up to them so quickly. It's obvious not everyone is ready for battle. You get a surprise round. Good job there, ranger."



"We won't be tracking encumbrance or supplies like food in this campaign."


"Thank you very much for pointing out that plot hole. I appreciate your attention to detail."

Between my two favorite DM's, they've said all of these things to me at one point or another (the tracking one didn't involve tracking, though). It's a shame they have lives and can't DM for me as much as I want them to...

[SimonMoon6]

I did something similar, except that the mind flayer kept sliding around well-disguised phallic inuendo. When one of the players asked him what he was talking about, he'd just tell them it was a "tentacle joke".

I once had a player whose character had a mind flayer as a girlfriend.

Um... okay... it was a strange campaign...

[Zale]

"The elves welcome you warmly to their land."


This is still my favorite.


''I totally won't send Gold Dragons disguised as beggars or Inevitables after you when you do something that annoys me. Promise!''

[Fibinachi]

"What? Oh. Uh, no, no the dog is just a dead dog. It was probably murdered by... perception check... yeah, the goblin hiding on the the table. I assure you that it was not an unwholesome necromantic ritual."

"The bandits spring their ambush, and you find yourself facing down 12 haggard warriors with crossbows pointed at you. However, after a brief argument, they apologize profusely and even offer to guide you through the rest of the forest, because they do not want to inhibit the activities of a group of heroic figures trying to banish the Arch-Demon. They even offer to give you some of their meager supplies"

"Good thinking there, I love how you resolve the situation peacefully. Have some bonus XP"

"The Grand Vizier, whom you saw talking to a group of hooded men, were actually merely planning the kings surprise 60th birthday and 30 year anniversary of his grand ascension to the throne. As you burst into his rooms, he briefly explains the situation, and even offers to make you some extra cake if you'd like"

"The young dragon is out of its lair. You have complete run of the place, and it is very young, so it has no way to figure out how its gold went missing"

"The enemy who surrendered is sincere in its desire to reform its life for the better, and will not betray you if you let it live"

[Alabenson]

"Because you weren't on fire enough."

Actually, I'm liable to say this or some variation thereof at least once a campaign.

* Don't worry, extorting wishes from evil outsiders will definitely have no horrible consequences whatsoever.

[Frozen_Feet]

"We won't be tracking encumbrance or supplies like food in this campaign."

I had to think long and hard of what I wouldn't say, but you beat me to it. How could I tell when my PCs start to starve to death without these? :smalltongue:

I can't really contribute anything else, sadly.

[Slipperychicken]

* Don't worry, extorting wishes from evil outsiders will definitely have no horrible consequences whatsoever.

At least one of the Gate or Planar Binding spells explicitly mentions that screwing with outsiders (especially powerful ones) might make you wind up as "a plaything of the universe's cruelest tormentors".

[Crazyfailure13]

"Yes, the morningstar and spiked staff are made for your pleasure."

"The color four is the meaning of life, and with this knowledge you become dave the donkey and gain all-knowledge."

[Alex12]

I had to think long and hard of what I wouldn't say, but you beat me to it. How could I tell when my PCs start to starve to death without these? :smalltongue:

I can't really contribute anything else, sadly.

To be fair, I do this too, always for encumbrance and food/water in situations or campaigns where obtaining it isn't easy.

[Dimers]

"The Mind Flayer greets you with open arms and welcomes you into it's study. After sharing a nice cup of tea with you, you have a nice conversation with it and move on, feeling a nice sense of self satisfaction as you leave."

Oddly, I had that happen IC not long ago. The mind flayer was the local sage of an underground town, and I went looking for a sage there, so ... yeah, had a cup of tea with a mind flayer without getting accosted. Unless the DM was just doing a HELL of a lot of interactive roleplaying of my character's implanted false memories. That scene lasted about 45 minutes.

[Amphetryon]

DnD
Your characters are exceptional people, it's no place for realism.
You successfuly break this wooden bar with your hands.
I let you take 10.
I will not homerule this.
I allow you to take something outside of the Player's handbook.
Turns out, tier system is not artificial and actually exists.
Fighter is a weak class.I have said all of the things on this list, as DM, in 3.5. :smallconfused:

[VariSami]

"The bandits spring their ambush, and you find yourself facing down 12 haggard warriors with crossbows pointed at you. However, after a brief argument, they apologize profusely and even offer to guide you through the rest of the forest, because they do not want to inhibit the activities of a group of heroic figures trying to banish the Arch-Demon. They even offer to give you some of their meager supplies"
So going to do this some time. Because hey, they are people too, and doing some good should come with the benefits of positive publicity.

Then again, if the party is a group of murder hobos known for their random behavior in improper situations...

[Beelzebub1111]

Something I have never said and probably never will:
"You can't play that official core class"

Though I have asked "Are you sure about that one?"

[PlusSixPelican]

D&D 3.5e/Pathfinder

"Sure, you can play Chaotic Evil."

"Yeah, my DMPC is a little too strong."

"I won't be hiding any rolls."
Related,
"Yeah, I fudged that thing in the NPC's favor when you had a 70+% chance of success."

"No, I won't hold your choice of character against you."

"Yes, you can take Shivering Touch."

"Yes, you can play a child character without a Wisdom or Constitution penalty. Or without needing to defend it."

[Crazyfailure13]

D&D 3.5e/Pathfinder

"Sure, you can play Chaotic Evil."

"I won't be hiding any rolls."

"No, I won't hold your choice of character against you."

"Yes, you can take Shivering Touch.

Said all of those things in one session.:smallsmile:

[VariSami]

Something I have never said and probably never will:
"You can't play that official core class"
Happened with a DM I play with. Basically he cut out Wizard, Sorcerer, Druid, and Cleric. It was truly a low tier game. Even all prestige classes that increased your tier rating were banned. And the Complete series with base classes (most not allowed), Tome of Battle (a bit overpowered in context), PHB2, and Miniatures Handbook only. Tier 3 got 25 points for point buy and the rest got 29.

[navar100]

"Your wish is granted as you wanted."

[Deophaun]

"My girlfriend will be playing with us, and I will absolutely treat her character the same as the rest of yours."

[Hyena]

"My girlfriend will be playing with us, and I will absolutely treat her character the same as the rest of yours."
I actually heard it. Pitifuly, I've never seen it.

[navar100]

I actually heard it. Pitifuly, I've never seen it.

My DM has killed off his wife's character several times over the course of the various campaigns.

[Slipperychicken]

My DM has killed off his wife's character several times over the course of the various campaigns.

I hear/see a lot about GMs playing favorites with girlfriends, but not wives. I also keep hearing about GM-wives being treated either fairly, or more harshly than other players. I imagine it has to do with the level of trust and maturity in the relationship?

[Amphetryon]

I hear/see a lot about GMs playing favorites with girlfriends, but not wives. I also keep hearing about GM-wives being treated either fairly, or more harshly than other players. I imagine it has to do with the level of trust and maturity in the relationship?

As often as not, I think it has to do with the GM bending over backwards to prove to the rest of the table that the GM's girlfriend/wife is not a Mary Sue, and won't be treated with kid gloves just because of their relationship.

[Threadnaught]

Only myself and my Druid played have DMing experience, so this is all him. There was another guy who DMed, but I only have a single session's worth of experience.

This is all my Druid player's campaign. I have three characters, a Druid, Artificer and Wizard.

"Planar Shepard, isn't that overpowered?"

"Don't you think your Wizard gaining 6 Spells per level is too much?"

"Does your Wizard really need Domain Spells on top of everything else?"

"I'll let you take Prestige Classes with your Wizard, they're obviously not as insanely powerful as the Planar Shepard abusing Dal Quor."

"I no longer regret handing my 60pb Artificer to your control."

"Since I'm the DM, I control the world and will not ask my players to assist."


Since his campaigns are set in Eberron, I could try hitting the Lightning Rail, sending a few constructs into the Mournland, besieging Sharn and taking over the skies. Then of course, there's Xendrik, if I can conquer that, then nothing should stop me.


Edit: When my Druid points out what he perceives as a plothole.
"Actually you're being lied to, there's no plothole at all."

[Raimun]

"I think it was really cool how you guys were able to kill it in one round. I'd like to see more combos like that!"

[navar100]

"When are you next available to play? I'll only schedule a game when you're free."

[Silva Stormrage]

"I think it was really cool how you guys were able to kill it in one round. I'd like to see more combos like that!"

I actually do that whenever my players manage to do that :smalltongue: It doesn't happen that often and I enjoy it when they pull some elaborate plans. As long as they are at least SOMEWHAT grounded in reality...

[Raimun]

"You know, it actually was interesting to have that dramatic fight scene with your long lost evil twin-brother, who was detailed well in your back story."

"No more endless banter with NPC-townsfolks, who we will never see again and who honestly don't have any real influence to even to the side plots."

[DigoDragon]

I actually heard it. Pitifuly, I've never seen it.

I do that all the time with my wife at the table. Of course she likes to make a few playful threats just to give me a hard time about it (because it's fun to make the GM uncomfortable). She's a veteran player though, and knows GMs have a balancing act to perform every session. So I'm thankful she doesn't play that favorites game for real. :smalltongue:


A few that cropped up with our secondary GM~


"Sure, you can use that homebrew class you found online."
"The die is skewed? Just assume it's the larger number."
"Anyone want my last slice of pizza?"

[Silva Stormrage]

"Sure, you can use that homebrew class you found online."


I have said that one several times! Sure I require them to send it to me first and almost all of it is from this board but hey I do approve it :smalltongue:

[Ekul]

Things you will never hear from me when I GM.

"You just got away with bombing that city full of innocent people scot-free! Good job, buddy. That wasn't a waste of time."

"Keep the sarcastic comments coming, guys."

"Yeah, you can play league of legends while we play. That's totally fine."

"Oh wow, this 20 minute conversation about which of you two could win in a fight is completely warranted, keep up the good work. Also, please do it again sometime, as often as possible."

[Slipperychicken]

"Oh wow, this 20 minute conversation about which of you two could win in a fight is completely warranted, keep up the good work. Also, please do it again sometime, as often as possible."

"Just settle it with a friendly sparring match. What could go wrong?"

[Roguenewb]

Some things I'll never say as a DM:


"I'm so glad you looked up a handbook for your tier 1 character"

"You're right, I should ignore the concepts of tiers, and let your wizard have as much cool stuff as the party fighter"

"UMD does make the game better and more diverse!"

"Taint doesn't exist"

"I'm so glad you decided to play a comical character concept in the campaign I've been writing for months and intend to run for a year! That'll never get stale"

[Toofey]

"That incredibly stupid action would cause a TPK and end the campaign. I'm going to let you reconsider that one."

I've said this one more times than I can casually remember.

and if for some reason my wife started playing I would kill the **** out of her constantly, and laugh and laugh...

[Threadnaught]

"Yeah, you can play league of legends while we play. That's totally fine."

That ******* Druid constantly pulls this crap. Either trying to play World of Tanks, or some online game that sounds like a gay porno. He also tries to watch some TV show or play some gay porno sounding game (maybe he's just watching the original DBZ) when it's up to him to be DM.


"I'm so glad you looked up a handbook for your tier 1 character"

I did it for them, I didn't want a throwaway NPC to be more optimized than them. I've received mixed results.


"You're right, I should ignore the concepts of tiers, and let your wizard have as much cool stuff as the party fighter"

T*D is still having a hard time handling that he can't cast 9th level Spells at Druid9, I won't let him get a Fleshraker as he'd have to describe it to me (which makes me literally want to kill myself), I'm not allowing Serpent Kingdoms. Ever. He requires a Spell or Magic Item to speak to his Animal Companion, he can't Wildshape into Huge Animals at Druid12, Animals which have 14HD. He can't talk while Wildshaped, he couldn't cast Spells while Wildshaped before gaining the Feat, his dragon hide breastplate is medium armour and hasn't suddenly become metal.

It was either around the time he wanted me to help him create a second Animal Companion replacement mid session (I warned him the replacement wouldn't last long), or when he started arguing with me about how a Gray Elf Psion attacked him (it was obviously going to do that), when I passed a note to the Wizard that read. "Rocks fall t*D dies?" He agreed. :smallbiggrin:
Why did I have to run Tier 1 only? :smallsigh:

[DigoDragon]

I have said that one several times! Sure I require them to send it to me first and almost all of it is from this board but hey I do approve it :smalltongue:

My players tend to purposely find the broken ones. I don't know if they're joking or just clueless. Maybe they flip between the two. :smallbiggrin:

[Beelzebub1111]

In Rifts:
"Mystic Knight? I don't see anything wrong you playing one."

"Oh you guys could probably take on Lord Splynn/Emperor Zestrun/Archie 3"

"The South America Books? Go ahead, just pick any class you want from them."

"You find some ammunition for that Naruni weapon"

(If the campaign will take you into the vampire kingdoms) "You should play a Water Warlock!"

[Tiktik Ironclaw]

If I'm DMing:

"Yeah, go ahead and play a party of nothing but elves and gnomes, I swear 20 Red Great Wyrms or the Mysterious Legion of 500 20th Level Hobgoblin Fighters (homebrew remedy, not PHB) won't show up once you leave the village."

"Not only am I including monks, I'm removing every trace of a medieval setting and adding katanas, samurai, and ninjas!"

"We'll be playing 4e." (OOTS was my introduction, I'll stick with 3.5.)

"My campaign's Big Bad won't be an elf."