Jalil
2006-12-17, 09:10 AM
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The meal sat on the table between them, growing slowly as cold as their silence. His voice cracking as he began, “Look, I’m sorry. I admit that I was wrong, and I’ve apologized a hundred times. If there was any way to change what I did, I would.”
His fiancé looked at him icily. “It’s not what you did, Rey. It’s that you did it. How could you cheat on me? And then ask me to marry you, without ever telling me? I’m sorry, but this is what must be done.” Ignoring the tortured look on her lover’s face, she dropped her napkin on her untouched meal and rose, with tears in her eyes. With a bit of a tug, she managed to take the silver band off her finger and dropped it on the silky whiteness of the tablecloth.
“Actually, all I’m sorry for is that I always trusted you, always came back to you, and this is how you’d repay me. I’m staying at Nadine’s tonight. If you’re here tomorrow night when I get back, you’ll have to talk to the cops.” With that, she left behind 2 years of love and walked out of the flat.
A surge of anger pulsed through Rey, aimed solely at himself. It was quickly replaced with despondency. Streaming eyes replayed her leaving, replayed the fights they had had, replayed his decision to reveal his adulterations to his lover, in an attempt to remove his guilt. He didn’t replay his fornications, letting them rot, to be soaked in loss, pain, and mostly, guilt.
He staggered up from the table, and suddenly found a bottle of vodka in his hands, with a short bark of self depreciating laughter; he returned the booze, not needing an aide to his miserable evening.
He let himself pack all that was truly his, and call on a good friend to stay with for a while. In the meantime, he thought about all the good time he had experienced with Julianne, all the firsts that had enjoyed, and the wonderful life they were beginning.
His tearful joy was replaced with horrible rage at his idiocy, at his weakness, both at the time, and when he tried to get his guilt off his chest.
He knew that this meal was his final shot at reconciliation, and that further attempts would only serve to alienate the two of them further. His raging conflicting emotions died down to a steady thrum of regret as he took off his ring also, trading it for hers from the table; a last memento to her memory. He cleaned away the uneaten meal and slept a fitful sleep on the couch.
That fitful sleep was caused by great thought. As he walked to the train station the next morning, he realized that even through his regret and sorrow, he had wiped away his guilt, and was finally able to be true to his love.
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I'd prefer any comments ot be less about the english/grammer, and more about the theme/idea/message.
The meal sat on the table between them, growing slowly as cold as their silence. His voice cracking as he began, “Look, I’m sorry. I admit that I was wrong, and I’ve apologized a hundred times. If there was any way to change what I did, I would.”
His fiancé looked at him icily. “It’s not what you did, Rey. It’s that you did it. How could you cheat on me? And then ask me to marry you, without ever telling me? I’m sorry, but this is what must be done.” Ignoring the tortured look on her lover’s face, she dropped her napkin on her untouched meal and rose, with tears in her eyes. With a bit of a tug, she managed to take the silver band off her finger and dropped it on the silky whiteness of the tablecloth.
“Actually, all I’m sorry for is that I always trusted you, always came back to you, and this is how you’d repay me. I’m staying at Nadine’s tonight. If you’re here tomorrow night when I get back, you’ll have to talk to the cops.” With that, she left behind 2 years of love and walked out of the flat.
A surge of anger pulsed through Rey, aimed solely at himself. It was quickly replaced with despondency. Streaming eyes replayed her leaving, replayed the fights they had had, replayed his decision to reveal his adulterations to his lover, in an attempt to remove his guilt. He didn’t replay his fornications, letting them rot, to be soaked in loss, pain, and mostly, guilt.
He staggered up from the table, and suddenly found a bottle of vodka in his hands, with a short bark of self depreciating laughter; he returned the booze, not needing an aide to his miserable evening.
He let himself pack all that was truly his, and call on a good friend to stay with for a while. In the meantime, he thought about all the good time he had experienced with Julianne, all the firsts that had enjoyed, and the wonderful life they were beginning.
His tearful joy was replaced with horrible rage at his idiocy, at his weakness, both at the time, and when he tried to get his guilt off his chest.
He knew that this meal was his final shot at reconciliation, and that further attempts would only serve to alienate the two of them further. His raging conflicting emotions died down to a steady thrum of regret as he took off his ring also, trading it for hers from the table; a last memento to her memory. He cleaned away the uneaten meal and slept a fitful sleep on the couch.
That fitful sleep was caused by great thought. As he walked to the train station the next morning, he realized that even through his regret and sorrow, he had wiped away his guilt, and was finally able to be true to his love.
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I'd prefer any comments ot be less about the english/grammer, and more about the theme/idea/message.