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View Full Version : Minotaur thieves and ogre psions: hilarious character ideas



Arkhosia
2013-08-23, 01:51 AM
What's the most absurd character you ever used?
Mine was a Minotaur bard who spoke in rhymes, wielded shurikens, and had a personal flower collection.

Rakaydos
2013-08-23, 02:04 AM
Depending on what you mean by "used"...
Early on, before the Essentials classes came out, I had a friend who just did NOT get the powers system- he'd played 1st edition back in the day, and just wanted to hit things with his sword while roleplaying a bloodthirsty maniac.

So I made a Battlerager fighter and gave him a flow chart.
You are a bloodthirsty gnoll.
If you are not in melee, move to melee.
If you are still not in melee, charge/move closer.
If you are in melee and still have temp HP, use the power that makes you grant combat advantage
If you do not have temp HP left, use the power that grants Temp HP.
If someone tells you you have a reaction, hit them with an MBA.

I forget what I did with encounter powers/dailies, probably ignored them. But the player had a blast, and at least he wasnt using MBAs for everything anymore.

Alex12
2013-08-23, 10:54 AM
Neanderthal Dread Necromancer. 18 Cha, 20 Str, 10 Con, and everything else was 6. In 32-point-buy.
Dumb-as-a-post illiterate arcanist. Yes.

navar100
2013-08-23, 12:29 PM
Lawful Good undead cleric of a Lawful Good deity. The concept was Evil likes to corrupt the good and innocent. Good fights back by "corrupting" evil. "Redemption" is the proper term and use, but it was a 2E game way back in college and everyone was fairly new to the game. I'll always be grateful to the DM who let me play the character. I enjoyed it.

Friv
2013-08-23, 12:31 PM
Murderous kender barbarian.

Favorite moment:

Party Wizard: "Hey, you're a kender, can you open this lock?"
Me: "Let me check." *rolls a die, fails, draws greatsword and hacks door to pieces* "Lock's open."

Kyberwulf
2013-08-23, 02:25 PM
I had a player use a LG Drow paladin. It was pretty funny. He could walk into a town and cause so much mayhem, and it wouldn't be his fault. The townspeople would attack him, or treat him in such a way that his actions would be justified.

Man on Fire
2013-08-23, 03:44 PM
Drunken minotaur cleric of Helm.

And Kobold Warblade/Dragonfire Adept, who was pretty much Dovahkin mixed with Guts from Berserk.

Corvus
2013-08-23, 04:09 PM
Sounds like pretty much all my characters.

Druken halfling barbarian whose alchohol inventory weighed more than he did.

Pyromaniac dwarf wizard who carried enough alchemists fire to kill the party through just splash damage.

Dwarven pacifist monk who only used subdue damage agaisnt living creatures and whose only possessions were a begging bowl and his clothes.

A human cleric of madness. Not the god of madness but the philosophy of madness.

Plus numerous others.

RandomNPC
2013-08-23, 04:38 PM
A set of my NPCs I wanted to play one by one but wound up leveling them to 20 and using them as the "retired" adventuring party.

The Bard: Ogre Bard, keeps a chair in extra-dimensional storage so he can sit down and tell a tale any time.

The Mage: Dwarven Wizard. Just to mix it up. Currently on a long break because when he went looking for apprentices they were all about how much damage they could do in as little time as possible.

The Warrior: Trained one of the PCs, wore a belt of gender change for more than half her life to keep the Bard from flirting with her. When the PC found out his mentors title and secret about the belt he just glared at me for a half hour.

The Priest: Minotaur Cleric. A divine bovine named Boa Vine. That is all.

The Sage: Halfling Rogue. Pickpocket that used vast knowledge to identify items and tell the owners about them, without being asked to. It's not just a +2 sword, that's the sword lord so and so used in the battle of such and such......

The Guardian: Warforged Druid. Protects the balance between things, good/evil, law/chaos, city/wilderness. The elves got the message wrong and started the plot by trying to destroy everyone else.

The titles each has (Mage Bard and the like) grant bonuses and whatnot, one of the party members created the Scout title, and another playing a minotaur wants to be called the Savage. It's been suggested that I have a gnome berserker show up and violently tell him to stop trying to imitate him.

Kid Jake
2013-08-23, 06:36 PM
An awakened cow Barbarian/Frenzied Berserker. Her vicious moo of rage struck terror into friend and foe alike and no one could decide whether she was just an overly aggressive cow or a murderous sentient creature.

One minute she'd passively chew grass while the party made plans, the next she gored and tossed an uncooperative prisoner out of the window still tied to a chair. When the rogue tried to call her out on it she just cocked her head and started eating straw out of the bed.

Vizzerdrix
2013-08-25, 01:36 PM
A sentient houseplant that could telepathically control machines. Turned my pot into a tiny mecha and kept trying to kill the vegan character in the party.

Dusk Eclipse
2013-08-25, 03:55 PM
Not mine, but pretty let's say interesting Awakened Gelatinous Cube Barbarian

Trickquestion
2013-08-25, 04:40 PM
My group was experimenting with a homebrewed Western setting, and my character was a Dragonborn cowboy wizard mercenary. He drank heavily, set bars on fire, told outlandish stories about previous mercenary work (the prime example was recounting a time a druid transformed into a jellyfish ambushed him from a jar of milk) and used his draconic jaws to eat the heads of our enemies.

Arkhosia
2013-08-30, 01:25 PM
My brother made a eladrin party magician...

Mastikator
2013-08-30, 04:07 PM
A ninja troll that fought in a gladiator arena.

What was I thinking.

Arkhosia
2013-08-30, 04:27 PM
A ninja troll that fought in a gladiator arena.

What was I thinking.

Well, as long as you didn't play a gnoll paladin...
The race gets such horrible PR, and I think the guy whose in charge of the art in the books might have had a traumatizing gnoll experience.

Manly Man
2013-08-30, 09:06 PM
An awakened iron golem Paladin who was at such a loss for not being able to find a mount that could hold him. He got awfully pensive and somber when seeing a knight on a horse.

Arkhosia
2013-09-02, 02:37 AM
An awakened iron golem Paladin who was at such a loss for not being able to find a mount that could hold him. He got awfully pensive and somber when seeing a knight on a horse.

Easy: awakened Trojan horse!

Jon_Dahl
2013-09-02, 02:50 AM
Someday I'm going to create a multiclass paladin / wilder. Paladin who gets randomly dazed in combat would be fun. "I was just thinking about the combat!"

Arkhosia
2013-09-02, 02:52 AM
And someday, I'm gonna make a rogue/paladin hybrid. BOW BEFORE MY PARADOX POWRRS! MWAHAHAHAHAHA

Morithias
2013-09-02, 08:11 AM
Human Dread Necromancer

....who was a playboy.

He was basically everything a necromancer was not. Charming, witty, upbeat, blonde hair, and flirtatious. The ideal "Bishonen".

Alex12
2013-09-02, 09:41 AM
Human Dread Necromancer

....who was a playboy.

He was basically everything a necromancer was not. Charming, witty, upbeat, blonde hair, and flirtatious. The ideal "Bishonen".

...That could actually work pretty well. I mean, they're already using Charisma, and the success of stuff like Twilight proves that horrible undead monsters aren't necessarily a turn-off.
"I put the romance back in necromancer."
I smell a bestselling novel series.

BWR
2013-09-02, 10:02 AM
And someday, I'm gonna make a rogue/paladin hybrid. BOW BEFORE MY PARADOX POWRRS! MWAHAHAHAHAHA

How is this a paradox? Slightly unoptimized, I'll grant you, but not inconceivable.
He probably won't sneak up on people and stab them in the back but he could do like the ranger/paladin in my group: sneak up on people, announce his presence and demand their surrender. When they are stupid enough to try to attack, he has them at a disadvantage and can feint/SA with a clear conscience.

Felhammer
2013-09-02, 01:22 PM
My friends and I wanted to play a Pirate Campaign, sounds fun right?

One player brought a Half-Minotaur Fighter.

Another, a Tibbit Swashbuckler.

And me? I brought a Centaur Rogue!

We were the oddest group of pirates there ever was!

Also, we quickly realized why Centaurs are bad for ships.

The Captain says, "Unfurl the sails Mister Cesare!"

Cesare says, "Aye, Aye Captain!" And trots over to the mast. I tell the DM that I climb up the mast.

He stares at me. In fact everyone at the table stares at me.

It takes me a moment to realize the issue - how the heck does a centaur climb a mast!?

Laughs were had and dear old Cesare suddenly became quite proficient in Cooking... :smallbiggrin:

LOTRfan
2013-09-02, 02:26 PM
"I put the romance back in necromancer."

Oh my God. Can I please sig that?

I played a goblin Ninja/Gunslinger at one point. It was... interesting.

I also played a character who bragged about how he could transform into a dinosaur. He was a Sparrow Hengeyoki.

Lyndworm
2013-09-02, 02:32 PM
...That could actually work pretty well. I mean, they're already using Charisma, and the success of stuff like Twilight proves that horrible undead monsters aren't necessarily a turn-off.
"I put the romance back in necromancer."
I smell a bestselling novel series.
...I would read that. I'd probably like it, too. :smallsigh: I have a weakness for urban fantasy-romances.

Alex12
2013-09-02, 03:29 PM
Oh my God. Can I please sig that?

Feel free.

...I would read that. I'd probably like it, too. :smallsigh: I have a weakness for urban fantasy-romances.

I probably would read it too. Especially if it was done reasonably well.

Mastikator
2013-09-02, 03:40 PM
And someday, I'm gonna make a rogue/paladin hybrid. BOW BEFORE MY PARADOX POWRRS! MWAHAHAHAHAHA

It's not a paradox. A spy (rogue) can be lawful good.

JHShadon
2013-09-02, 06:44 PM
And someday, I'm gonna make a rogue/paladin hybrid. BOW BEFORE MY PARADOX POWRRS! MWAHAHAHAHAHA

It's not a Paradox, it's holy Batman.

Arkhosia
2013-09-02, 06:51 PM
It's not a paradox. A spy (rogue) can be lawful good.

I was more thinking of the classic CN rogue + Classic LG paladin.

Rakaydos
2013-09-02, 11:35 PM
Well, as long as you didn't play a gnoll paladin...
The race gets such horrible PR, and I think the guy whose in charge of the art in the books might have had a traumatizing gnoll experience.

I've played Gnoll paladins in LFR, but I usually use Sergal art. They've got some pretty cool looking beastman-in-halfplate images.

Shyftir
2013-09-03, 04:16 AM
Lingo Toombs, mute Bard...

Ringmaster Johnny, the Hobgoblin Druid, and friend to all ugly animals.
(The rest of the party were the exhibits/acts in our traveling circus/sideshow, the sad thing is I was pretty much the only sane man in that party.)

Jahmin the Half-Orc Ranger/Barbarian (herbalist/miner/drunk)

Those are the most crazy/funny.

Segev
2013-09-05, 08:38 AM
The only issue with the Bishie Dread Necro is to make the undead minions not wholly incongruous, visually, without going "Sephiroth"-style bishie. (If you're willing to go "evil Bishie," it's actually trivial.)

zabbarot
2013-09-05, 09:20 AM
The silliest character I've played was Krunk, son of Funk, the half-orc Barbarian/Bard. He rapped... kind of. Mostly just yelled at people. He was a parody of krunk rap, and really only good for getting laughs.

JBPuffin
2013-09-05, 08:42 PM
Minotaur vampire. Member and progenitor of a vampire-only party.

Also, a blink dog cleric of fire and healing. Boy, how fun he could have been...

Also also, Awakened Half-Fiendish Gelatinous Cube Psion/Thrallherd with Succubus minions, Psionic Magic Missile and Psionic Epic Spell Mass Dominate. Shenanigans? I doubt it.

One last bizarre thing: Awakened Toad Psion/Thrallherd. ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD.

Manly Man
2013-09-07, 12:49 AM
Pretty much anybody named Gaylord qualifies as silly, since no matter how awesome he is, nobody will ever let up on his parents' poor choices.

Arkhosia
2013-09-07, 05:54 AM
Minotaur Rogue and pixie paladin wielding a giant hammer

Scholar23
2013-09-08, 02:55 PM
Ummm I play a half Iron golem Celstial Ghost Gnoll Commoner and beat the game ...

Segev
2013-09-09, 10:59 AM
In the d20 version of Iron Kingdoms, I always wanted to play an Arcane Engineer and his Bodger assistant. NPCs would turn to the youth and say, "Wow, you're young for an Arcane Engineer," to which he'd reply, "Nah, I'm just a bodger. Gobber Joe, here, is the Arcane Engineer for whom I work."




(For those who are unfamiliar with IK, the setting has a very stereotypical pairing of Arcane Engineer with Gobber Bodger. It's almost ALWAYS a human/dwarf/elf/etc who is the Arcane Engineer, and almost ALWAYS a gobber that is the bodger.

Gobbers are basically goblins but more mechanically inclined and less necessarily uncivilized. Bodgers are the get-in-there-and-hit-it-with-a-hammer MacGuyver types, to the Arcane Engineer's magic-science inventor type.)

Libertad
2013-09-09, 05:54 PM
An Awakened Hawk Wizard who pretends to be a Druids' animal companion for laughs.

Tyndmyr
2013-09-09, 07:24 PM
What's the most absurd character you ever used?

J. Beebs, Human Bard. Young fellow. Sang most terribly. Spent every round of his career dancing, singing, or swapping out bling. Was voted MVP.

Manly Man
2013-09-10, 04:34 PM
J. Beebs, Human Bard. Young fellow. Sang most terribly. Spent every round of his career dancing, singing, or swapping out bling. Was voted MVP.

Had a huge amount of Charisma, I presume, if he managed to suck so bad and still get an award.

Speaking of musicians, I've wanted to make an aasimar Bard named Farrokh Bulsara, but I haven't gotten around to it yet.

Arkhosia
2013-09-10, 04:43 PM
Tiefling Paladin who hates devils and wants to exterminate every trace of them.
This'll be for any villain campaigns (in 4e): he'll be evil due to "every trace" including angels, who are the evidence of their battles, religious documents, and, get this, Tieflings! Him last, of course.

Roguenewb
2013-09-11, 01:59 PM
Tiefling Paladin who hates devils and wants to exterminate every trace of them.

I played a Daelkyr Half-blood in the same way. Except as time went on, I got more and more corrupted, ended up pretty evil.

Topus
2013-09-11, 08:23 PM
Without any doubt, a Jester Pig, that is exactly what it sounds like, a humanoid pig with a lute and a fancy hat, in a homebrew wacky rpg.

Jaycemonde
2013-09-11, 10:14 PM
I've played Gnoll paladins in LFR, but I usually use Sergal art. They've got some pretty cool looking beastman-in-halfplate images.

This makes me want to try something horribly ridiculous, yet so obscure nobody else in my group would get it and so terrifying (or, probably, hilarious) to anybody who did get it that they'd be liable to take to drinking.

Chaotic Neutral sergal matriarch barbarian/sorcerer riding a Synx into battle with an Awakened dragon/rhino psion as a follower, all in the name of a galaxy-barfing fashion-designer skunk god!

Rakaydos
2013-09-12, 02:33 AM
This makes me want to try something horribly ridiculous, yet so obscure nobody else in my group would get it and so terrifying (or, probably, hilarious) to anybody who did get it that they'd be liable to take to drinking.

Chaotic Neutral sergal matriarch barbarian/sorcerer riding a Synx into battle with an Awakened dragon/rhino psion as a follower, all in the name of a galaxy-barfing fashion-designer skunk god!

Rain Slives herself? I dont know enough of her story to identify the mount or psion.

Set
2013-09-12, 12:19 PM
My oddest in D&D was probably a gnomish were-giant-space-hamster who was a Clockwork wizard (created gizmos every morning that would cast his spells, and had to repair them the next day to get them working again).

The rest of the crew were slightly less unusual; a xixchi, a giff, a wemic, a homebrew half-ogre-mage (half ogre with the magical powers of an ogrima, from Al-Qadim), etc. Ah, Spelljammer.

My oddest Pathfinder NPC so far as been Ik, Blik and Wik, three vegepygmies that sprouted together at the same time from the corpse of a sorcerer named Ykandar the Black Witch, and each has a third of his sorcerous power (each is a sorcerer 1) and one of his magic items and fragments of his memories (and a rudimentary hive mind).

Jaycemonde
2013-09-12, 02:34 PM
Rain Slives herself? I dont know enough of her story to identify the mount or psion.

Any sergal matriarch would do, but Rain Silves is probably too well-known. As for the mount, it's basically this thing (spoiler'd for major creepiness)
http://i.imgur.com/XT9kVS5.jpg

and the dragon/rhino http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120128181202/lapfoxtrax/images/0/01/Adraen.jpgand galaxy-barfing skunk http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqi5jmcrp01qa2rgh.jpg are both references to LapFox Trax. (Spoiler'd for continuity.)