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atomicpenguin
2013-08-27, 02:46 PM
I have an idea for a tool that GM's can use. Its a play on the old DnD convention where a smart player starts asking questions the GM can't answer and so the GM simply states "A wizard did it." Well, I present to you now the Tale of Sarda: The Wizard Who Did It.

(Note: The concept and name of this character come from the webcomic 8-bit theater)

Long ago, in the age of the first men, there was a boy named Sarda who lived in a small village. He was thirteen and apprenticed under his father when a stranger came to the village, an old man (or woman, the story is rather unclear on this point) wrapped in a cloak. The stranger went from door to door, seeking food and shelter for the night. But the villagers, unaccustomed to strangers and wary of this newcomer, turned the stranger away. Finally, the stranger came to the doorstep of Sarda's parents, who also turned the stranger away. But before the door closed, Sarda saw the look of disappointment in the stranger's eyes. And so Sarda quickly went out the back door and told the stranger to wait and return when his parents were asleep. And so the stranger waited and, sure enough, Sarda was there to let the stranger in. They shared a meal from the stores of Sarda's parents and a long, meandering conversation. Eventually, the chitchat turned to the subject of the other races, the elves, the fey, and the like. Sarda mused aloud about how neat it would be for humans to have their own magic just like these races did.

What Sarda didn't know was that the stranger was, in fact, the deity of magic. This deity was looking for a human who was worthy of the responsibility of being the first human to be gifted with magic and Sarda, through his generosity, proved himself to be worthy. So the next morning, Sarda awoke to discover the stranger had left and that he had been gifted with magic. What follows is a series of magnificent adventures, during which Sarda discovers the secret to eternal life. And so, with eternal life and near omnipotent magical power, Sarda asked himself what he should do with his life and decided to experience everything there was to experience in life. Literally everything. So now he goes around, typically in disguise, doing any and everything there is to do.

The point of Sarda is that whenever your players pose a question that you cannot answer, simply say "A wizard did it" and secretly compose a story of how Sarda did whatever it was. For example, I had a laser puzzle in one of my dungeons and, to make it harder, I said that the mirrors couldn't be rotated without a special rotating device. One of my players pointed out that it takes less force to rotate something than to move it around a room. In response, I would simply say "A wizard did it" and compose a story about how Sarda wanted to break the laws of physics with magic that one time.

I am okay with and in fact encourage using this character in your campaigns. Weave him into your world's backstory and add to the legend of Sarda. Here are a few of the things that Sarda has done. Please feel free to add to the list in your posts below:
-Sarda once desired to experience conquering a kingdom. He raised an army from various Orcish tribes and neighboring kingdoms and used strategic genius only available to an ageless being to conquer a kingdom, demanding that the king surrender and part with his crown as a symbol. Sarda took the crown, placed it upon his head for a long moment, then gave it back and said goodbye, leaving with his entire army never to be seen again.
-Sarda once traveled to the top of a tall mountain in one of the most remote and dangerous lands in order to obtain a rare herb to put in his stew the next day.
-Sarda once applied him self to the task of finding a way to magically transmute gold into lead. He succeeded, but accidentally left his notes in a tavern in a large city. Because the people mistranslated his notes, Sarda accidentally invented alchemy.
-Sarda once became a magical vigilante defending the streets of a certain city, then went back in time so he could also be the head of the criminal organization that he was originally fighting.

Lord Raziere
2013-08-27, 03:12 PM
only problem is the name, but I like the concept.

I'll name him Sorda, cause he is SORDA the wizard who did it.

:smallcool:

anyways.

He, Sorda once tried to make a flying skateboard, but his enchantment misfired and instead enchanted his carpet. So he improvised and flew around his carpet, and people were inspired by this, so the flying carpet became one of the standards for magical flight.

He, Sorda once his carpet got burned up, tried to make another flying tool, and so gone out to a tool shed to get one. He tried a mop and its flight was too slow and droopy. He tried a rake, but it was too wild and going in all directions, he tried a spear but it was too fast and couldn't turn on a dime, he tried a warhammer but it had an unfortunate tendency to go through walls than around them, he tried a scythe, but it kept going around in circles. he tried an oar, but it rocked back forth like a ship….and gone just as fast as one. He tried more and more, until the last tool, a broom was all that was left, he enchanted it and it flew just right.
and since then, the broom was also a standard for magical flight.

Slipperychicken
2013-08-27, 03:19 PM
The Wizard Who Did Everything might be a better title. He's definitely an old man by now, and several different kinds of crazy.

Maybe he doesn't do much anymore ever since he was tricked into a staring contest with a statue, or started playing hide-and-seek with Vecna (secretly, of course. No one knows where he is, and even he doesn't know what he's doing), and that has had him distracted for a few dozen years before the game started.

elliott20
2013-08-27, 03:32 PM
This sounds like it could be a fantasy version of facts about Chuck Norris....

Slipperychicken
2013-08-28, 07:38 PM
This sounds like it could be a fantasy version of facts about Chuck Norris....

Only if Sarda drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Jay R
2013-08-29, 10:41 AM
In my games, the name of the mad wizard from long ago is long since lost. He is known only as the Mathemagician, and the really weird stuff always has some interesting geometric structure or weird mathematical purpose.

And in every game I've ever run, including D&D, Champions, Flashing Blades, and everything else, I have had exactly one character who has learned how to combine magic and technology. He wears a technologically designed plate armor that does not interfere with his magic, and a green cloak. He rules a small kingdom, and is known as Lord Victor. (Only one PC has ever run into him, for a very short meeting, since his lands are usually put in an obscure corner of the sandbox, but he's always there.)

Morgarion
2013-08-29, 10:50 AM
In my games, the name of the mad wizard from long ago is long since lost. He is known only as the Mathemagician, and the really weird stuff always has some interesting geometric structure or weird mathematical purpose.

And in every game I've ever run, including D&D, Champions, Flashing Blades, and everything else, I have had exactly one character who has learned how to combine magic and technology. He wears a technologically designed plate armor that does not interfere with his magic, and a green cloak. He rules a small kingdom, and is known as Lord Victor. (Only one PC has ever run into him, for a very short meeting, since his lands are usually put in an obscure corner of the sandbox, but he's always there.)

Is it always Latveria or does the name change?

supermonkeyjoe
2013-08-29, 11:13 AM
This reminds me of the story of King Cantwalkright in an old gaming magazine which explained why people in the game could only walk in 90 degree angles on a grid.

Sarda the wizard was particularly meticulous with his spells, he made sure they conformed perfectly to the nearest 5' and always lasted in multiples of 6 seconds, seeing other sloppy wizards throwing around 33 foot diameter fireballs and casting haste spells that lasted 41 seconds irritated Sarda immensely so he wrought an epic spell so powerful it constrained the magic of all other wizards so that they all conformed to the same 5' and 6 second metrics that he had ascribed himself to.

elliott20
2013-08-29, 11:49 AM
Is it always Latveria or does the name change?

a slight thread derail here... how would you stat up Doom in 3.5 anyway?

Slipperychicken
2013-08-29, 01:39 PM
This reminds me of the story of King Cantwalkright in an old gaming magazine which explained why people in the game could only walk in 90 degree angles on a grid.

Sarda the wizard was particularly meticulous with his spells, he made sure they conformed perfectly to the nearest 5' and always lasted in multiples of 6 seconds, seeing other sloppy wizards throwing around 33 foot diameter fireballs and casting haste spells that lasted 41 seconds irritated Sarda immensely so he wrought an epic spell so powerful it constrained the magic of all other wizards so that they all conformed to the same 5' and 6 second metrics that he had ascribed himself to.

I like to think Sarda just finds people who have researched such spells, then shows up in their houses and brainwashes them Men in Black style, and also modifies their spells so they all conform to his standard. He's so thorough that most scholars think it's a law of magic.

InQbait
2013-08-29, 02:18 PM
This is such an awesome and hilarious thread. Thank you, atomicpenguin.
-One time, while Sarda was in disguise, he was leading a group of refugees out of a dying kingdom. They were going through a forest, and a tree branch randomly fell on Sarda. He would have broken that branch over his knee out of anger, but he got a better idea instead. He infused that tree branch with magic, thus turning it into the first magic Staff. He let one of the refugees play with it, which in turn led to the entire forest burning down. Luckily they all made it out alive

KillianHawkeye
2013-08-29, 06:26 PM
Aside from the name and the fact he's a powerful spellcaster, this really has nothing in common with the character from 8-Bit Theater. :smallannoyed:

TuggyNE
2013-08-29, 09:58 PM
Aside from the name and the fact he's a powerful spellcaster, this really has nothing in common with the character from 8-Bit Theater. :smallannoyed:

Isn't the 8BT character considered to have "done" a lot of the mysterious and wacky things? He certainly seems unhinged enough to have caused a fair bit.

Grod_The_Giant
2013-08-30, 12:36 AM
a slight thread derail here... how would you stat up Doom in 3.5 anyway?
Straight Artificer? Maybe Artificer/Wizard/I'm sure there's some dual-advancement PrC.

Hopeless
2013-08-30, 07:59 AM
I like to think Sarda just finds people who have researched such spells, then shows up in their houses and brainwashes them Men in Black style, and also modifies their spells so they all conform to his standard. He's so thorough that most scholars think it's a law of magic.

So he looks a bit like Kenneth Branagh and a character from Harry Potter but is actually a mite more competent?:smallsmile:

Jay R
2013-08-30, 12:54 PM
Is it always Latveria or does the name change?

I never name it. There are too many clues already.


a slight thread derail here... how would you stat up Doom in 3.5 anyway?

I haven't played 3.5, so I have no idea. But I don't really stat up forces of nature anyway. In a tech universe, he always has the top-level tech available, and magic to match.

In a magic world, he has the highest level spells available, and tech to match.

He's not an enemy for the party to fight; he's flavor. If they are trying to save the world, he might offer them aid. (If the Big Bad neutralizes most major threats with an anti-magic field, a single .44 magnum revolver can make a huge difference.) If they're looking for a place to settle down and develop a fief, he will make sure it's not land he claims.

But as I say, only one player ever came near him. The PC was looking for treasure, so Lord Victor told him where to find the lair of a dragon who had annoyed Victor.

[Actually, since he's usually in an out-of-the-way location, he's mostly just an in-joke for my own amusement.]

Arkhosia
2013-08-30, 01:33 PM
Sarda once decided he wanted to make a poker game more interesting by giving everyone the ability to read minds. When he played the game with a stranger at a casino, the confusion of the idea of magic tricks were born.

KillianHawkeye
2013-08-31, 07:24 PM
Isn't the 8BT character considered to have "done" a lot of the mysterious and wacky things? He certainly seems unhinged enough to have caused a fair bit.

Well he was certainly responsible for a majority of the arbitrary jerkassery that the Light Warriors experienced. In fact, most of what he did was planned millions of years ago to hurt them specifically.

But my comment was mostly referring to the backstory in the OP having almost no resemblence to the history of 8BT's Sarda.

TheCountAlucard
2013-08-31, 07:30 PM
Sadly, one of the few things Sarda wasn't responsible for is the creation of All That Is. That was White Mage, and Sarda's still very bitter over it.

Slipperychicken
2013-08-31, 07:50 PM
Sadly, one of the few things Sarda wasn't responsible for is the creation of All That Is. That was White Mage, and Sarda's still very bitter over it.

So he tries to make his mark on all of creation by placing his own special touches, like enchanted forests, portal-lakes, high-level youngsters, caves full of treasure, roads made of solid ivory, holy water fountains, and so on.

He also used magic to make it possible for implausibly-large creatures like dragons and giants to be anatomically viable, in spite of the square-cube law.