Witty Puns For Elan

[Telhuine]

Perhaps the new and improved Elan won't have any difficulty coming up with witty puns to use, but better safe than sorry. Sure, he's come up with "Do you get my point," but can he go the distance?

I think we need to help Elan out and give him extra puns just in case.

How about...

1. My blade is keen to run you through!
2. I'm in the Order of the Stick for a reason. *sticks him with the rapier*
3. You kissed my Haley, now kiss your life goodbye!
4. You shaved off your goatee, now let me help you with a new cut!
5. I think you're too evil, let's make you a little more holey! *stab*

Yeah, they're bad... but that's what puns are all about :P

Whatchyoo got?

[Saithis Bladewing]

:elan: "If you thought that stab hurt, wait until you feel how razor sharp my wit is!"

[mockingbyrd7]

:elan: *parrying an attack* Engarde! *going berserk and letting his guard down* Offguard!

:elan: My brother, you seem a bit touchy. Why don't to lighten up a bit, with a little TOUCHE!

[Jeff_the_pirate]

Nobody has said any puns about elan "nailing" nale? seems a pretty obvious one to me. :smalltongue:

[Saithis Bladewing]

:nale: "You fight like a dairy farmer!"
:elan: "How appropriate, you fight like a cow!"

[Wolfie_1066]

geez...my dads the king of puns if he were on this forum eveyone would be trying to poke their eyes out right about now :smalleek: lets see...i dident get his skills in craft (pun) but i can try!

:nale: "im going to turn you into swiss cheese!"

:elan: "that was so Cheesey i bet you will taste really good as swiss!" *Stab*

[krossbow]

:nale: I eat pieces of crap like you for breakfast!

:elan: You eat pieces of crap for breakfast? well at least that explains the breath.

[J_Muller]

:elan:"If you think that was Deus Ex Machina, wait 'till you see my new prestige class!"

(Note: "Mechane" is another term for the crane used in Greek plays to simulated gods coming down from heaven, thus "god from the machine" or Deus Ex Machina)

:elan:" *stab* Delivery free today only!"

[Enlong]

:elan:"If you think that was Deus Ex Machina, wait 'till you see my new prestige class!"

(Note: "Mechane" is another term for the crane used in Greek plays to simulated gods coming down from heaven, thus "god from the machine" or Deus Ex Machina)

:elan:" *stab* Delivery free today only!"


Darn you! I knew that the same day Julio came into play, but... nobody listened! *wah*[/sarcasm] but I really did know... anyway.

:elan:"Time to buy the farm your gotee came from!"

[Axl_Rose]

Wow I wonder how many of these were shamelessly plagarised. (sp)

[Brickwall]

:elan: "Well, I should have figured you'd only have a small weapon in a girl's room." (Anybody else notice that Nale's only weapon right now is a dagger?)

:elan: "If you dance as well as you fight, I'd better cast Cure Light Wounds on Haley's feet later."

:elan: "I've got another dramatic entrance ready; right through your armor!"

Well, that's all I got for now.

[mockingbyrd7]

:nale: *backing away* You're bluffing, Elan! You won't kill me! I've only got a dagger, you've got a keen rapier!
:elan: That happens to be the dagger you attempted to stab my Haley with! Now if you wouldn't mind, I'd rather the stabbing be coming from me!*lunges and strikes Nale in the arm*
:nale: Hey, I'm the evil one here!
:elan: Exactly, which is why you were cheating on your girlfriend? *stab*
Nale: I wasn't cheating! I was planning to kill Haley all along!
Elan: You were going to kill the girl you cheated with to hide the evidence from your other girlfriend? Bravo, class-act! *stab*
Sabine: Nale, how COULD you?!
Nale: What?! I- *interrupted by flying-tackle from Sabine*
Sabine: You filthy cheating weasel, Nale! How could you?!
Bwahaha...

Bravo on those quotes above, they're really good.

[knownaspirate]

so i'm a little tired right now, but i have to say:
1.) i am lacking the wit to come up with one witty pun
and
B.) these are so cheesey that they're great!

maybe rich will borrow one or four

[WoDHells]

I would love to see some from Monkey Island, even if the Giant hasn't played the game (or even heard of it). It would be really cool.

[knownaspirate]

i shall google this monkey island that you speak of

[Om]

*Must resist urge to to post MI taunts*

:nale: I've got a long, sharp lesson for you you to learn today.
:elan: And I've got a little TIP for you. Get the POINT?

D'oh

[ampcptlogic]

And he could always spout the rapier jokes from #28. Nothing like a double entendre to make things funnier and more disturbing. http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0028.html

[knownaspirate]

*Must resist urge to to post MI taunts*

D'oh

go for it
though this is not the place:D

[WoDHells]

You should take a look at this (http://www.scummbar.com/community/games/swordfighting/index.php)

They come from M.I.

[Om]

You should take a look at this (http://www.scummbar.com/community/games/swordfighting/index.php)

They come from M.I.
Great. There goes another evening of work

Edit: Finished. My wit is as sharp as my rapier!

[Setra]

I registered simply to post in this topic... yet now I can't think of anything to say... Darn, let me think harder.... hmm.. nope I can only think of puns and witty comments sexual in nature, and in no way can I imagine Elan saying them.

[Runolfr]

Come Nale, can't you think of a better riposte? *counter-thrust*

Die? Me? Parry the thought! *parry*

Yes, I am enthusiastic. In fact I'm playing this to the hilt! *thrust*

I'm afraid I'm going to have to pommel some sense into you. *pommel-strike*

[Ayya the Fearsome]

all not-nale has to do is say a catchphrase or pun. sooooo.....



I will spork you to death, I SWEAR IT!!!!!!!!!!

[WoDHells]

Great. There goes another evening of work

Edit: Finished. My wit is as sharp as my rapier!

Hey, don't blame me, buddy... Actually, I AM to blame. Shame on me.
:smallbiggrin:

[1337_master]

If my blade is as sharp as my tounge , You should soon be very well done!

[Demented]

:nale: You couldn't beat a mirror of opposition!
:elan: You're a comparitively weak imposition!

:nale: I'd never go so low as to take a prestige class.
:elan: That's not a choice: You have neither!

:nale: I am your better half!
:elan: I'm sorry, did you say you were bitter?

:nale: If I had a sword, this battle would be mine!
:elan: If I wasn't so bored, I would cut you up fine!

:nale: Why are you here? You should be in jail!
:elan: It's only natural that a plan made by Nale should fail!


This thread hurts.

[Brickwall]

"I'm sorry, bitter exes should have priority in regards to tearing you apart."

"Wow, even your girlfriend hates you. Your personality must be getting even worse."

"Too bad for you I'm a little keen on keeping you in prison for good!"

[Krytha]

There can be only ONE!

*runrunrun*

[ampcptlogic]

Not quite puns, but potentially funny:

"Nale, you're not the only one who can sneak attack!"

"No stealing kisses, you rogue!"

"Don't you dare you kiss my girl, you churl!"

"Your only friend is half an orc. I'd say you're forked."

[Telhuine]

~ Mind if I cut in, brother?
~ :as he sees Nale's dagger: I see your schwartz isn't as big as mine! :smallamused:
~ If you were horny, you should've kept dating your demon of a girlfriend.

[GymGeekAus]

Obvious opener: :elan: Mind if I cut in?

[Om]

I'm happy. I got my MI reference. Nale is certainly wearing Elan's sword "like a shish kebab" :smallcool:

[Ulicus]

:elan: Allow me to take a stab in the dark!
:mitd: Ow!

[Ayya the Fearsome]

answer ayya's post!!!!!!!!!

[Mauril Everleaf]

ayya, honey, you didnt really ask a question. there is nothing that needed responding to. im sure that everyone was impressed by you ability to grasp that they didnt need to be puns, or rhyme. now go back to smashing things with your axe.

:smallbiggrin:

[Ayya the Fearsome]

okay!!!!! that ayya's favorite pasttime. and you don't smash stuff with your axe, you CUT things with the axe. :tongue:

plus, don't call ayya honey or ayya will take a blunt knife and slowly cut off all your limbs then stick it in your belly and slowly move it upward while whistling that sugar songy thingy from mary poppins.

[Demented]

Naw. You break things with axes. Things like skulls. Break, break, break....

To answer:
:nale: I will spork you to death, I SWEAR IT!!!!!!!!!!
:elan: Not if I KNIFE you first! Then I'll SPOON out your entrails and stick a FORK in you when you're done!

[Ayya the Fearsome]

yay!!! that PERFECT diolauge!!!! (however you spell it.)

[Psychonaut]

You should take a look at this (http://www.scummbar.com/community/games/swordfighting/index.php)

They come from M.I.

Brings back memories... although some of the rhymers aren't half as good without Dominic's voice doing them (or Rottingham's voice doing the original insult). I love the cheerful way he says, "I look THAT much like your fiancée?"

[karen451]

You're all wrong, you Cleave with axes. Cleave the thug in front of the tree, Cleave the tree, Cleave the rogue hiding behind the tree, Cleave the crossbowman who had just climbed the tree.

Oh, and you can also squash the mage who was standing in the path of the falling tree. Whether you get XP for her (or for the tree) is debatable...

[Ayya the Fearsome]

You're all wrong, you Cleave with axes. Cleave the thug in front of the tree, Cleave the tree, Cleave the rogue hiding behind the tree, Cleave the crossbowman who had just climbed the tree.

Oh, and you can also squash the mage who was standing in the path of the falling tree. Whether you get XP for her (or for the tree) is debatable...

that happened to ayya once. ayya and the DM argued for an hour on that one. ayya eventually won. ayya always does. :amused:

[Tornek the Unhygenic]

"Don't be a SWORD loser!"

[Ayya the Fearsome]

hee hee!!!

[Adlan]

:elan: The Punch *bam, elan gives nale a left hook* Has been Spiked *Elan stabs Nale*

[Setra]

:elan: I didn't know you were *stab* Swiss, I prefer my cheese *stab* Sharp