What if the OotS was in real life? What would they be?

[Blas_de_Lezo]

Ok, what if Roy, V, Belkar, Durkon, Haley and Elan were real-life people nowdays and had jobs. They would be the same in all other aspects, excepting class. What would they be?

[The Kind Knido]

Belkar would be a mass murderer, obviously, and would be impossible to catch. He frequently drops by strip clubs and ends up murdering everyone if he gets bored. His calling card is a pair of shoes with a copy of God of War and Sex in the City.

Durkon would be the high priest of an attempt at a church of Thor who is behind a devious scheme to mow down every tree in the world. Several world governments and the media are trying to cover it up saying that the trees are merely being harvested to create a wooden city when in all actuality, Durkon is just the mysterious man who threatens war if his plans are revealed. He's also a vampire.

Haley would work for a "company" which specializes in stealing everything; Elan occasionally gets drunk and depressed because Haley (who he's now married to) got bored of him and went back to stealing. Elan's hero is Mr. Rogers.

Roy wouldn't have a job - he'd be the lonely guy who tries to help with Elan but fails every time and ends up getting kicked out of the house. He's trying desperately to convince people that he fought against an undead sorcerer but nobody believes him except for Durkon. He makes swords for a living but no one buys them when he takes them to the Ren Faire because he claims they're made of starmetal and prices them at a million dollars each.

[littlebum2002]

Roy would be some guy in a white collar job having to deal with his annoying co-workers. Think Dilbert.

Elan would be that guy who doesn't know or have anything, but just manages to get by just because he knows someone with an extra empty room in their apartment, and his father-in-law got him a job at his company, and his buddy works at a grocery store and brings home all the dented cans instead of throwing them away. You know the guy, he always just happens to know someone who has JUST what he needs at any given time.

Durkon was a very devout Christian (one where drinking is OK, maybe a Catholic) who somehow got convinced that it was a good idea to join a satanic cult.

Belkar doesn't REALLY kill people, just in video games. For like 10 hours a day. Lots and lots of people. And zombies. And aliens. Etc.

V is a college physics teacher. She's a legendary "research" professor, so she only teaches like one entry level physics class just because she has to, and does a really bad job while assigning an inappropriate amount of homework, requiring 6AM class attendance and having tests you need to study for a week just to pass.

Haley had daddy issues and married a guy 30 years her senior because he bought her lots of shiny things

[Gift Jeraff]

Durkon would be drunk and get on the subway and yell about the trees coming to attack us and tell everyone to give their lives to Thor.

[Blas_de_Lezo]

Ok, here's my two cents:

Roy: a soccer player with lots of lost potential waiting to be awaken.
Haley: a con-woman or maybe a hacktivist.
V: Summa *** Laude PhD in Teorical Physics, Astronomy Sciences, Microbiology, Organic Chemistry, Ancient History, Classic Phylosophy.
Elan: i don't know why I picture him wandering around with a circus.
Durkon: somekind wiccan paganist priest who cares for the earth?
Belkar: a CEO.

Why the heck would they end togehter? No idea. I would have to deveolp this.

EDIT: I can't write latin? Summa *** Laude!! *** laude! :smallsigh: Damn, censorship always makes things worse. Now THAT image will suddenly appear if I ever talk to a PhD... :smalleek:

[AKA_Bait]

Roy: Probably a cop or a soldier, assuming the same daddy issues with some sort of academic father.
Belkar: In prison, probably for life. It's not so easy to escape confinement in the real world and one stabbing spree will get you there for good.
Durkon: For most of his career, a devoutly religious public servant working for less than he's worth in the private sector to help his fellow man. Recently, he's gone corporate, cashed in, become an atheist, and started dating someone 1/2 his age.
Elan: Mostly unsuccessful but highly talented indie/folk musician. His best songs are covers.
Haley: Marketing guru (making the most of that bluff score) and amateur sharpshooter.
V: Young, rising economics star being strongly considered for Chair of the Federal Reserve Bank in a few years.
Celia: Still a lawyer. One of those cheerleader into lawyer trackers.
RedCloak: Head of a very influential minority rights not-for-profit. Frequent third party candidate for various public offices.
Xykon: On the same cell block as Belkar.

[theNater]

I'm not sure about everybody else, but Elan would totally be a party clown. Go to the homes of kids having birthdays, play a little music, make balloon animals, put on a puppet show, generally make everybody have fun.

[Tock Zipporah]

No no no no no, isn't it OBVIOUS? They'd all be a group of nerds sitting around a gaming table playing D&D!

[JSSheridan]

Roy - Would be recently retired from military service where he was in special forces.

Haley - Was in organized crime, but got on their bad side and needed out.

Elan - Dreams of being a rock star.

Durkon - Fresh out of seminary minister.

V - Former child prodigy, recent PhD recipient in theoretical physics.

Belkar - Hermit survivalist, who distrusts society and is actively antagonistic to authority.

[Mike Havran]

Roy: Chief of a local police department, jaded with long service to the government. Promoted for his efficiency in a local suburb, he doesn't kick asses of drug dealers and robbers anymore, but gets to chew a lot of red tape and boss calls. Happily married to a successful lawyer (Celia). Three kids, one is a promising athlete on a national scale.

Durkon: His Norse ancestry provides him with a thick accent. He's a strong Christian and owns a microbrewery and a medium-sized pub. Roy is a welcome and frequent guest and Durkon lends him and ear from time to time. Single.

Haley: Originally a waitress in one of the largest Casino in the city, she now works as it's marketing manager. She has a promising career that allows her to pay for her ditzy husband's interests. Married to Elan, no kids.

Elan: Street artist with neglectible chance of breaking out, he occassionally performs in alternative bars and from time to time, gets part-time jobs to entertain kids. Has plenty of friends who help him greatly to spend his wife's money. Married to Haley, no kids.

Vaarsuvius: prominent professor of Theorethical Physics at the university, she spends most of her time at the university and generally cares very little about matters outside the Academic world. Divorced, partner keeps the kids.

Belkar: Both bouncer in a seedy night club and mob grunt, his life revolves around cheap booze, cheaper whores and beating people. Single.

Xykon: Nobody knows anymore whether he's a real man, an urban legend, or (as many prominent conspiracy theorists say), merely a constructed tool to frigten simple folk. He was supposed to be one of the greatest chemicists of his time, until he went full-blown insane and murdered 42 people with nerve gas on a concert. Since then, he manages to elude the justice and body count attributed to him nears one hundred. Many people suffer from constant fear he may poison water supplies.

Redcloak: Charismatic leader of a religious group that claims it's people have divine right to inhabit and form a theocratic state on a piece of land of disputed borders that was granted them by the only god they worship. They aren't above using blackmail and military tactics to reach their goal.

Tarquin: Originally only one of many drug lords in a country where safety was questionable and kingpin wars were daily news. These days are over though, because Tarquin made an iron-clad pact with several other drug barons and their joined forces eliminated the opposition in the state. Nowadays, Tarquin owns a restaurant chain, a football club, a few newspapers and a television station, has good PR and is slowly advancing towards the highest positions in the national government. The young ladies seen at his side change rather often.

Malack: Works for the national security departmant in Tarquin's current "homeland"(he might even be the secret leader). Rumors sprawl he was in charge of a death camp during the second world war, but it's not a good idea to ask questions about him. Tall, calm, pale, wizened and old as the Evil itself, he shuns public places and people who are invited to his interrogation do not return.

Nale: Tarquin's son spoiled rotten, his life was full of scandals until it ended prematurely because of a car accident. The exact details of the accident are not known. Had a much discussed relationship with a world-famous pornstar.

[Imgran]

Roy: Captain of the neighborhood watch, floor supervisor in some customer service service job where he takes far too much crap from everyone.

Elan: Exactly that kind of happy-go-lucky happy-to-just-scrape-by guy that annoys anyone ambitious or frustrated in their life goals, probably works service as well, possibly the same place Roy works. Probably has a garage band that he spends more time on than work.

Haley: Self-employed, probably one of those people who finds undervalued treasures, buys them and re-sells on e-bay for a higher price. Always an eye for gain. I'd like to think she doesn't go out of her way to shaft people who are the source of her treasures.

V: I'll go with the majority here. Some kind of professor. Very high opinion of his own intelligence. And I'll go with the concept that V is transgendered -- a relatively androgynous female turned publically male, no surgical alteration, was androgynous enough to "pass" without that kind of help. Not sure how to shorthand that. Academia wouldn't care as long as V did a good job. They're enlightened like that.

Durkon: A member of a religion that has a lay ministry (meaning they draw their leadership from the local membership rather than requiring a divinity degree). Served some time in the ministry then moved on to something else. Probably works industry. I'm not going to play up the vampire angle, I don't think it's necessary yet because Durkon's behavior isn't noticeably different.

Belkar: Works in a scrapyard using large machines to turn junked cars and trucks into useful scrap metal. Games in his free time, loves of that particularly grisly kind of FPS game. Needless to say, there's some anger there, but he's got plenty of opportunities to vent it. On a court-ordered mandatory anger management program after a serious disagreement with a now-former girlfriend, actually seems to be helping a little.

[Taelas]

Roy would obviously be a structural engineer. (Eugene sees him as a glorified bricklayer, deeply disappointed that he never got a doctorate in physics like him.) Celia is his hot lawyer-in-training girlfriend.

Elan is a moderately successful (though skilled) musician and part-time party clown for children's birthdays (which he is much more successful at). Haley is his girlfriend, possibly they are even married.

Haley works in a casino, fleecing fools for their money. She is happy to support Elan's career.

V is a theoretical physicist. Married, but separated from his spouse for focusing too much on his job.

Durkon is a devoutly Catholic heart surgeon; recently went through a heart-attack scare caused by stress and is currently reconsidering his career.

Belkar is a dishonorably discharged marine, working as a bouncer in some club. His only real companion is his cat, though he has plenty of one-night stands and even some short relationships. They never last, though.

Twice a month they all get together to play D&D. :smallamused: