PDA

View Full Version : Thing our dms facepalmed at



Beldernae
2013-09-12, 02:43 PM
everyone has a story about a time they managed to either do something so stupid as to make the dm facepalm, or broke the game so badly that the dm cried, having done some myself, i love ot hear others' stories. please use this space to share your experiences

to get this thread off to a decent start, i shall summarize my trolls first drow encounter. the drow was sitting on a cart, and the druid cast soften earth to mud up the cart. the drow, having jumped off the cart, failed his reflex save and fell face first, i proceeded to drown him in the mud by sitting on his head. the dm had spent six hours creating this tenth level antipaladin.

BasketOfPuppies
2013-09-12, 03:32 PM
I shaved the bugbear, polymorphed him into a chicken, gave him a potion of growth, then a potion of hair growth. He was a giant fuzzy chicken.i then knit a saddle and used himas a mount

Lifscuetorya
2013-09-19, 10:12 PM
One time, someone I knew was in a bad group, and eventually got so fed up that he Wild Shaped into an eagle, flew above the group, and Wild Shaped into a giant turtle. No one survived.

Curaced
2013-09-22, 12:38 AM
A group that a friend of my dad's was in was fighting a three-headed lich. To try to defeat it, one of the players cast a wish spell. He wished for all the skulls in the room to explode.:smallsigh:

Jormengand
2013-09-23, 02:38 PM
A truenamer whose go-to tactic in just about any circumstance was:

Get the surprise round if in combat.
Gate in a Solar Angel
Make the Solar Angel cast a Miracle/use its Wish SLA to win combat, complete the task, etc.
Thank the Solar Angel for its time and spell slot/SLA.

Quickly caused the DM to want to punch something.

Beldernae
2013-09-23, 02:52 PM
my brothers sixteen int elf sorceror drank the remains of the ooze i had just killed.

Korith
2013-09-24, 01:43 PM
It was a game of Old World of Darkness, and my Werewolf character was trapped in a possessed elevator - so I decided to try and disrupt the possessing spirit's control by making it laugh uncontrollably.

The GM set the difficulty at 10 (only d10s showing 10 count as successes, and are cancelled out as 1) I rolled 5 dice, and scored 2 successes.

The wide-eyed GM then proceeded to describe how laughter filled the elevator as the possessing spirit dissipated and all systems went back to normal...

It was supposed to be a difficult encounter :smallbiggrin:

Felandria
2013-09-24, 04:46 PM
We fought a hydra, I cast Blade Barrier in a circle around it, then Dominate Monster.

I told it to come closer, then walk back, repeatedly.

Killed it in four turns.

DM was sad.

Hiro Protagonest
2013-09-24, 04:48 PM
my brothers sixteen int elf sorceror drank the remains of the ooze i had just killed.

Intelligence comes up with the idea. Wisdom is how you know not to do it.

The_Tentacle
2013-09-25, 03:46 PM
One time, the Tiefling warlock with ridiculous stealth and bluff modifiers wanted to infiltrate a Drow city. He used a Hat of Disguise to appear as a Drow and headed in.

What he forgot was that it was the Eladrin wizard who spoke Drow.

He's in the bazaar when he realizes that a Drow priestess is trying to tell him something. He turns around and, excepting advice from me, makes a croaking sound and gestures at his throat. He rolls and manages to convince the priestess that something is wrong with his voice. The Drow then says something else and the warlock remembers that he doesn't understand Drow either. So he does the logical thing: gesturing at his ears and shaking his head. The Drow actually buys this too.

But then she switches to Drow sign language. And what does he do? Tries to convince her that he's also blind. :smalltongue: Somehow he fails that one...

Mr_Scruffy_Kilz
2013-09-27, 11:42 PM
A heroes unlimited campaign, player makes a Principled Reptilian Alien Hero. First thing he does when he arrives is walks up to a soccer mon, kills her, skins her, and tries to wear her skin as a disguise... all of this gappens midday in downtown, in front of cops and children... fastest alignment shift I have ever ruled on.

Same campaign included a guy who worked out a viable plan to attain godhood... totally worked in system, he planned it for like a month... left me so stunned that I literally couldn't think of a response for nearly 10 minutes. Finally NPCed the character... had it PO more powerful entity who cosmically slapped his character back to moryalhood sn PCness. Made him a brain in a jar in the tech specialist's semi trailer lab. I expected the techie to make him a new body, cause the players had known one another since preschool... how was I to know tge techie would decide to not mess with the brain in a jar?

Dr.Gunsforhands
2013-09-28, 12:20 AM
"We go to sleep for the night."
"Alright, the local inn charges 3 sp for each of you-"
"Screw that! I'm an elf ranger, I'll just sleep outside."
"...you get arrested for vagrancy."

"You return from your trip across the ocean to find your town in shambles - the new council appointed in your place has ruined everything."
"What the hell?! They replaced us?! But we were only gone for-"
"A year and a half."
"Yeah!"

"The sun rises."
"...noon approaches..."
"...the sun sets..."
"We wake up!!"
"Oh!"

Beldernae
2013-09-30, 01:21 AM
the thing is, his wisdom was twenty... and just yesterday he tried to call a silver dragon his pet. i am considering smiting his character before he gets us killed by a shambling mound. he is way to fond of ligtning spells >.> and they managed to roll up a pair of the monsters using the percentage today. i am not thinking our lifespan will be great.

NM020110
2013-10-03, 05:29 PM
I optimized once...

That campaign didn't start, and I have a preemptive ban from spellcasting, now...

anacalgion
2013-10-07, 11:14 PM
The premise was simple. Our party of intrepid adventurers, myself and two others, were faced with a 1000 foot deep pit, antimagic fields all the way down. The pit was quite large, and we were expected to fight our way down through the mess of giant spider webs to reach the bottom (Somewhere through more caves past the bottom of the pit was a portal to the place we were actually trying to go, but since teleportation was all screwy, we had to go on foot).

I took a more direct approach. According to the Web spell, fire brushes webs away like cobwebs. With that in mind, we lit one of our players on fire, climbed in his bag of holding, and he swan dived down the hole. He put the fire out after he was part of the way down, and the remaining webs broke his fall. Needless to say my DM was in shock. He loved it, true, but he was in shock.

PersonofJid
2013-10-10, 08:40 PM
I was the DM for this one.

The group consisited of 3 players, but 5 characters (one of them had the leadership feat and decided to bring along not just his cohort, but one of his followers). While they were buying transportation, in preparation to travel to another city, they decided they would try to save as much money as possible since they had a large group. They bought two light horses, and then the party psion decided to metamorph himself into a wagon. He didn't have any kind of craft skill that would indicate that he knew how a wagon is designed, so I had him roll a raw Int check.

He rolled a natural 20. They left town on one very well-crafted wagon. I facepalmed, as did the party artificer.

Quiddle
2013-10-10, 11:02 PM
My players were trying to cross a river, the bard was thrown in and proceed to fail his swim check every round, the monk, trying to come to the rescue, rolled a nat 1 in an attempt to secure a grappling rope so he could swing across and ended up also falling in, lastly the rogue threw a rope to his other party members but failed his str check ending up with him in the river as well. A few rounds later the monk is trying to drag the bard out of the river, the bard is drowning, and the rogue has gotten out but refuses to help his friends (he got pulled in another time trying to get the monk out).

Beldernae
2013-10-15, 08:15 AM
:smalleek: i was dming last week when one of the characters decided he had to urinate. he did so on a mastercrafted everburnign torch in the lillends lair... he had no knowledge of the arcane of of planes, so he couldn't have known how they would react, but it was a near tpk. thank goodness for a well optimized scythe and a flesh ring fo scorn. >.>

D_Man_7733
2013-10-16, 11:16 PM
It was a 5th level campaign, I was playing a druid and wanted to get some magic items. We walked into the magic item shop, had a look around and I decided on the intelligent course of action of casting detect magic.

It took a full 10 minutes for the rest of the table to stop laughing and pity from the DM not to blind my character after that course of action... I later found out that the character in question was a cameo from one of the DM's other campaigns who is known as one of the most powerful mages in existence (he has moving tattoos)... I still haven't lived it down.

Dr.Gunsforhands
2013-10-17, 01:50 AM
In this scene, the party lines up and climbs a long, narrow stairwell.

"Okay, you get to the top of the stairs and an enemy immediately fires at the guy in front." *rolls dice*
"AAA! Okay, okay, dodge roll..." *critically fails*
"Hmm. Okay, everyone else, make dexterity checks."

*everyone fails*

*the entire party tumbles all the way down the stairs*

*the guy in the back breaks his arm as everyone collapses on top of him*

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt2p5mvN9G1qmf6e5.jpg

JBPuffin
2013-10-17, 10:08 PM
In this scene, the party lines up and climbs a long, narrow stairwell.

"Okay, you get to the top of the stairs and an enemy immediately fires at the guy in front." *rolls dice*
"AAA! Okay, okay, dodge roll..." *critically fails*
"Hmm. Okay, everyone else, make dexterity checks."

*everyone fails*

*the entire party tumbles all the way down the stairs*

*the guy in the back breaks his arm as everyone collapses on top of him*

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt2p5mvN9G1qmf6e5.jpg

..."facepalms, then applauds at geniously-crafted reference"

mindwarper10
2013-10-20, 04:25 PM
Okay so we walk into town (I can't remember if this was before or after I ripped the street light out of the ground and bashed the thug with it...the DM for some reason did not expect a minotaur to succeed the strength check...puhleez)

So my stats even for a minotaur were horrible...okay not horrible but unexpectedly low, but I said hey I can do this watch me go!


low int obviously...the the coffee of infinite wisdom kinda was cool...ahem...
anyways (hey eventually I was a minotaur knight, lawful good...even though I meant to be lawful neutral which I was from the start, I apparently did so good it opened my eyes to goodness or something...)
The rogue, knowing that every house on a single block was booby trapped told the minotaur to open the doors..they were stuck and he needed to get in there and ....do something good (I can't remember, but anyways)
I did not roll a sense motive check...the minotaur had already proven to be extremely trusting, so I decided it wouldn't make sense to be suspicious of him, I mean we were on the same team!
So I bash down the first door....BOOM!
oh wrong house...next one...BOOM!
well I think they were good...next house....Boom!!!
I think the fifth house actually exploded and knocked me unconscious...
meanwhile as I tried to get in each door, he stole everything he couldn't carry from each of the houses...

I know the dm got a kick out of it, I think the team wizard nobody liked loved it...
the uh...wait what was the elf? winged elf it was, not fond of it...I think that player face palmed my ridiculous actions more than the dm and wizard did.

(hey the minotaur did pretty good in the end, he like broke a fake world in half, took out multiple armies solo...and did like other stuff too. He became a general, I don't think after he wrote all those books about the rogue and wizards evil deeds either one got caught but meh..)

Atreyu the Masked LLama
2013-10-30, 06:49 PM
(Party has stumbled on the queen giving birth, the royal midwife is delivering, but their are some complications.)

Wizard: Can I cast a spell to aid the midwife and give her a +2 bonus?
GM: Possibly, depends on the spell...what do you want to cast?
Wizard: Grease.

Dr.Gunsforhands
2013-10-31, 06:34 PM
Wizard: Can I cast a spell to aid the midwife and give her a +2 bonus?
GM: Possibly, depends on the spell...what do you want to cast?
Wizard: Grease.

Is it bad that I guessed which spell it was right when he first asked? :smalltongue:

Soon enough, an ambulance arrives. The two paramedics get out to pick up the guard you just sniped inside the building.
Hmm... you know, guys, I've always kind of wanted an ambulance...
what
Actually... sure, why not? We get in and hijack it.
what

BasketOfPuppies
2013-10-31, 09:36 PM
We're on a flying ship and my CN rogue has a bone to pick with the werecat. He first goes to the rope-making station and get some marijuana leaves and crush them up. This acts like catnip, so he eats it and falls asleep. I then cut off his right whiskers, shave his tail, and put a mousetrap on each foot and the tail. The player almost killed me, but it was worth it :smallbiggrin:

ALSO:

So, what's your character concept?

I'm a fighter.

Ahh. Tier 4.

I auto-crit with a vorpal weapon, have DR/- 18, fast healing 20, 324 hit points, AC 46, and give a deadly disease by smacking you with my beard.

What. How. But. I. What.

Oh, and I have Scent

*walks out*

Techmagss
2013-11-04, 05:59 PM
I...uh... Ate a wolf corpse.
With a Quest spell on it.
Yeeeah, expelling that was HARD.

WizardGirl74
2013-11-04, 09:45 PM
We were playing an adventure in the War of the Burning Sky Campaign, I was playing an Elven Wizard and I used baleful polymorph to turn one of the bigger bosses into a chicken's egg.......

cut that game down about an hour at least....LOL.......big DM facepalm to that......I was pretty pleased, my character ended up eating the egg too LOL



Wizard Girl:haley:

EbrithilAdaniel
2013-11-04, 10:12 PM
My dad's group once was chasing a villain, and the villain jumped on a boat and the dm was planning on the villain getting away, but one of the characters in the party somehow polymorphed into a swan (I don't remember how) and went out to the boat, but when he transformed back he was completely naked and didn't have any of his stuff with him, I'm pretty sure he died

Beldernae
2013-11-06, 02:34 PM
I just had a level twenty five barbarian half orc that charged a hecatonchieres... the rest of the party ran for it. XD i do not blame them. because it got a twenty on its initiative.

MonochromeTiger
2013-11-21, 04:18 AM
first one I was DMing:
me after everyone has passed a perception check "the room is mostly bare except for what looks like a very small lever disguised as a piece of wood next to a panel in the floor" player 1 "I go over and inspect the panel" me "ok how do you want to check the panel" p1 "I stand on it and check the edges to see how it opens" player 2 "I PULL THE LEVER!" .....it was a sliding panel over a very long fall with a ladder on one side..and the first player was the only one who could resurrect people.

second one I wasn't DMing:
DM "the room is absolutely filled with orcs and goblins, each one carrying a weapon nearly as large as them and clearly waiting impatiently for a fight, at the end of the room on a small raised stage is the wizard you've been searching for giving a speech to his collective troops" me "...I step out into the open and yell a bluff 'we're here to warn you, that wizard plans to sacrifice you all in a raid on the city so he can look like a hero and live in fame and comfort!'" DM "....roll a bluff check" me "would you believe over 40" DM "..........the collective soldiers all gasp and tear the wizard apart then leave cause they're not getting paid, you are a terrible person and I hope you get punched in the face" me "dawww I love you too bestest friend".

inuyasha
2013-11-21, 09:38 AM
Get a scroll in a 1e game that summons a god (we weren't sure which yet)

uncle summons tiamat in the middle of viking town, now they are dead, and the ones that are alive hate us, and the town is crawling with dragons

TheOnlyCleric
2013-12-21, 12:02 AM
We were playing a PVP match (player vs player) and i was on a bridge. My DM told me it was about a 5 foot drop, so i decided to go for it. I have an extremely bad athletics and acrobatics checks. I go for the jump (with one HP left) as i am being chased by another player with a murderous gleam in his eyes. I roll a 1 (-3 for acrobatics) so i hit the ground and die.

Xyphan
2014-01-09, 03:24 AM
My dad, me, my mom, and a two friends are playing. My dad is dm and has a PCNPC, who is a monk. This is a post-apocolyptic modern campaign and a powerful mage wants us to get through a drow city. We all jump in the monks portable hole and have him run through the city shooting drow. In the middle of the city he stops lets us get air and reloads. My mom decides to hand him a rubber chicken. Next thing that happens is that a drow walks by without noticing the monk, who then taps on his shoulder scaring the crap out of him and slaps him with the chicken. NONE OF THIS WAS PLANED. Our group still laughs about it

Ionbound
2014-01-09, 11:51 AM
I auto-crit with a vorpal weapon, have DR/- 18, fast healing 20, 324 hit points, AC 46, and give a deadly disease by smacking you with my beard.

How did you do that, and can I sig it?

BasketOfPuppies
2014-01-09, 12:41 PM
How did you do that, and can I sig it?

The "beard smack" thing was from an evil cleric with a spell (wasn't me, forgot the spell) the rest is: 6 levels of Barbarian/Fighter (your choice) and 8 of Disciple of Dispater. Take Improved crit(scimitar OR rapier) and have it be serrated (adds 1 to crit threat range) on 8 levels of DoD it triples crit threat with metal weapons and stacks with Improved Crit. I took "Roll With It" several times (gives DR/- 2) and found a template that gives fast healing equal to level +3 (admittedly it was homebrewed, but not by myself) of course you can quote it.

Dr.Gunsforhands
2014-01-20, 12:44 PM
3460. My character wears a belt. End of story.

Ohhh no, you're not getting away that easily. What on earth could you possibly have done to warrant this restriction? I am intrigued.

I mean, the best I can come up with is this:

You all proceed into the abandoned library. Cobwebs tether the chairs and tables to the floor, and the high shelves to the ceiling. To your left-
My pants fall down.

You feel something slimy wrapping around your leg. Some kind of animated vine! It quickly pulls you down into the water.
I jump out of my pants and let the vine take them.
Um.
It's still in a grapple with the pants, right? Sneak Attack!

You go to the tavern and notice that there are three-
PANTS. OFF.
Oohhhhrrrrghf...
"Ladies."

Jormengand
2014-01-20, 01:13 PM
Oh, best game I ever played may have been when the DM based an epic 3.5 game around the spell Karsus' Avatar and therefore allowed us to cast all the old 10+ level spells. I was the one who was going to cast the spell, so I took the Ignore Material Components feat.

The DM was not amused.

Laughing Dog
2014-01-20, 01:23 PM
Ohhh no, you're not getting away that easily. What on earth could you possibly have done to warrant this restriction? I am intrigued.

I mean, the best I can come up with is this:

You all proceed into the abandoned library. Cobwebs tether the chairs and tables to the floor, and the high shelves to the ceiling. To your left-
My pants fall down.

You feel something slimy wrapping around your leg. Some kind of animated vine! It quickly pulls you down into the water.
I jump out of my pants and let the vine take them.
Um.
It's still in a grapple with the pants, right? Sneak Attack!

You go to the tavern and notice that there are three-
PANTS. OFF.
Oohhhhrrrrghf...
"Ladies."

:smallredface: It's a less impressive story than those. And it's less of a restriction as it is me (and by extension my character) being a cheap skate who won't pay extra for a pair of pants that fit w/out a belt.

Anyways: In character, we're headed down a dark tunnel. My gestalt Barbarian/Soulknife pulls out his everburning torch and clenches it in his teeth, so as to leave his hands free in the event of an ambush. In the OOC thread I note that one day he'll realize that if he takes some leather he can tie the torch to his arm. The DM replies that he could stick it in his belt. I jokingly ask, 'What belt?' DM replies the one my character has the sword sheathe in. I remind the that my sword is my mind, no belt needed. Eventually another player asks how he keeps his pants up, with his mind?. Another player suggests that he bought pants that fit. DM notes something to the effect of those having to be masterwork.

PurityIcekiller
2014-01-20, 04:07 PM
So I was playing a multiclass rogue/cleric in a party of three. We had just arrived in the first room of the dungeon when my character, leading the way, triggered an acid-shooting trap. She managed to avoid getting hit and warned her companions to stay back while she disarmed the traps. However, the party sorcerer didn't get the memo and stepped forward, getting himself hit with a bolt of acid.

After dealing with that, we went onward, persuaded the spirit of a fallen adventurer to help us, and reached a room full of narrow passages around lava streams. Several spaces were trapped, causing whoever stepped in them to have to make a save or be hit with lava. The party sorcerer went in and proceeded to set off every single trap in the room, including one that the spirit warned us about.

The next room had a floor of glass surrounding a giant hand statue in the centre, all above a pit with monstrous creatures in it. The spirit had warned us about the statue in the centre, so my character and the party fighter kept their distance, but the sorcerer walked right up to it and started calling it his friend. The hand proceeded to grab him and try to crush him.

Long story short, we set off pretty much every trap in that dungeon, including the ones we knew about. The spirit, under the DM's control, was constantly snarking at us, and I made sure to prepare plenty of healing spells the second day because I had learned that we needed them.

Techmagss
2014-01-23, 05:54 PM
One time, me and a couple friends were playing an all monster-race campaign.
We had just killed a few wolves who were attacking a town.
Guy A I eat the wolves corpses!
For vitamins!
DM: ...OK? You eat the corpses, and you suddenly get a shaking feeling.
*passes a note*
*note says: You are now under a Quest spell. It is to destroy the town nearby.*
Guy A:Hey, guys, the note says that the town is evil and we need to go destroy it!


Needless to say, we ransacked the town.

Penguinator
2014-03-03, 11:41 PM
(It's been... just short of 45 days. I just found this thread. :smallredface:)

Mongo, the Half-Orc Barbarian rolls nothing higher than a 12 during combat. As soon as the party is out, he crits... to chop down a log trap.

One other player was trying to figure out a way to get into the party without being meta about it. (It was his third character of the night) I said something like, "I brush past him, mumbling an apology as I go by." He responds with, "I deck him in the face!" (In the ensuing chaos, my familiar, a honey badger, bit him until he was unconscious. All while inside a public library.)

"Okay, you're in a small cavern, and this creature is staring at you from the water. As it approaches... anybody speak Aquan?" (My character speaks Aquan, but negotiations go south as the water-affiliated member of our party wasn't there) "The creatures attack!" "Okay, everybody, back up. I'mma summon a baleen whale." "You can't summon a baleen whale!" "There is water available, and these are Gillmen. Naturally, this is an aquatic environment." "Okay, fine. The Gillmen start climbing over the whale..." "He gets an attack of opportunity." "...Fine. What's he attacking with?" "He rolls over! Count it as a tail slap!" "Okay, roll for it." "Crit!" "Okay, well, they're all dead..."