RationalGoblin
2006-12-28, 01:43 PM
Well, like the title says, I need some help with a story I am writing. (well typing really, but that doesn't matter)
I designed a android to be the main character.
Basically in the future (about 100 years), of Nexus, (a paraell world to Earth) (about 100 years), S.I.D.D, (the original name for the android) begins as a computer program created by the millitary that the higher-ups later decided wasn't right for their current millitary tactics, so they sent an agent (I can't think of a good person to be the main antaginost) to shut him down. of course they forgot that S.I.D.D (I probrably need a better name) was designed to not be shut down or captured, and escapes by transferring his mind to another computer.
S.I.D.D then realizes to survive, he needs a body. So he travels along the internet until he finds a cybernetics facility, takes over, and builds himself a body. (I also need help with this part.)
Naturally the agent sent to destroy him is told to defeat and capture S.I.D.D in order to discover just how powerful he is.
After a long fight, with S.I.D.D and the agent barely left standing, the agent finally defeats S.I.D.D and brings him to a millitary prison, disabling him. As they try to uncover his might, S.I.D.D discovers a strange dormant virus in the back of his programming, called the Avatar Virus.
As a last-ditch resort, S.I.D.D activates the virus, giving him incredible speed, strength, toughness, intelligence, and near invinciblity. He destroys the prison and everything in it.
However, this power comes at a price.
S.I.D.D deems that the worlds leaders are stupid and corrupt, and that only he is intelligent enough to be a world leader, and S.I.D.D proceeds to build a android army to take over a country.
Naturally, a few superheroes and super-powered millitary agents, take offense to this and try to shut him down.
After a long battle, the last superhero defeats S.I.D.D and leaves him for dead. (Y'know, the wiring showing, half the limbs missing, and just plain beat up.) However, (this is where the story ends), with the last of his power, S.I.D.D gets up and hobbles away.
That was the summary of my story.
As you can see, I plainly need some help. Would anyone be kind enough to offer some critism? (bad or good)
I designed a android to be the main character.
Basically in the future (about 100 years), of Nexus, (a paraell world to Earth) (about 100 years), S.I.D.D, (the original name for the android) begins as a computer program created by the millitary that the higher-ups later decided wasn't right for their current millitary tactics, so they sent an agent (I can't think of a good person to be the main antaginost) to shut him down. of course they forgot that S.I.D.D (I probrably need a better name) was designed to not be shut down or captured, and escapes by transferring his mind to another computer.
S.I.D.D then realizes to survive, he needs a body. So he travels along the internet until he finds a cybernetics facility, takes over, and builds himself a body. (I also need help with this part.)
Naturally the agent sent to destroy him is told to defeat and capture S.I.D.D in order to discover just how powerful he is.
After a long fight, with S.I.D.D and the agent barely left standing, the agent finally defeats S.I.D.D and brings him to a millitary prison, disabling him. As they try to uncover his might, S.I.D.D discovers a strange dormant virus in the back of his programming, called the Avatar Virus.
As a last-ditch resort, S.I.D.D activates the virus, giving him incredible speed, strength, toughness, intelligence, and near invinciblity. He destroys the prison and everything in it.
However, this power comes at a price.
S.I.D.D deems that the worlds leaders are stupid and corrupt, and that only he is intelligent enough to be a world leader, and S.I.D.D proceeds to build a android army to take over a country.
Naturally, a few superheroes and super-powered millitary agents, take offense to this and try to shut him down.
After a long battle, the last superhero defeats S.I.D.D and leaves him for dead. (Y'know, the wiring showing, half the limbs missing, and just plain beat up.) However, (this is where the story ends), with the last of his power, S.I.D.D gets up and hobbles away.
That was the summary of my story.
As you can see, I plainly need some help. Would anyone be kind enough to offer some critism? (bad or good)