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PirateMonk
2006-12-29, 08:26 PM
My humblest apologies if this is a repeat thread. However, I did scan the first few pages without seeing anything, and I wasn't really sure what to search for. Anyway, as the name implies, I'm discouraging the use of spoilers here, on the grounds that anything that makes that much sense belongs in another thread. Also, please do not atempt to poke holes in anything placed here; with luck, they'll already have enough.
Without further ado, let's start it off with an example (before it get's disproven):

Belkar is actually a powerful spellcaster, with high Int and possibly wisdom, pretending (or is he?) to be a psychotic Choatic Evil ranger. He pieced together what Nale was up to early on, but saw some advantage in pretending to be charmed (complete with swirly eyes illusion).

Can anyone think of anything more ridiculous?

Mayo_the_Thurmaturge
2006-12-29, 08:30 PM
Julia is a tran.

danielf
2006-12-29, 08:33 PM
The creature in the dark is Tog twin.
Nale is Elan alter-ego, like fight club movie.

Xanthos
2006-12-29, 08:46 PM
Nale is Elan alter-ego, like fight club movie.

That would ROCK! :smallbiggrin:

TroyXavier
2006-12-29, 08:59 PM
That would be interesting. Though it would be very confusing too

Adghar
2006-12-29, 09:00 PM
All the characters in the comic are Naga equipped with Hats of Disguise - except for Roy, whose real name is Samuel L Jackson, and can't stand these mother****ing on this mother****ing material plane.

Setra
2006-12-29, 09:05 PM
V is two people, a boy and a girl.

The Orange Zergling
2006-12-29, 09:12 PM
Elan is actually the God of Intelligence in diguise, Roy is using a magic item to hide his true Strength (of 3), V is really a dwarf using an illusion spell, Belkar is an undercover Paladin working with Miko, and...

Hey, this is fun, maybe I'll think up some more later.

Saurous
2006-12-29, 09:14 PM
Xykon wasn't actually a human before becoming a lich, he was actually an elf and was the one who conceived Vaarsuvius!

You can also replace certain words in there to change it to any character that doesn't have detailed descriptions of their fathers.

"Vaarsuvius, I am your father!"

Blood
2006-12-29, 09:14 PM
This notion is the most absurd and horrific of them all; those with low constitution modifiers are recommended to refrain from allowing this abomination of our language breach the plane of sanity. :smalleek:

BEWARE!
Rich Burlew and The Order of the Stick do not exist, and you are actually dreaming up all of this.BEWARE!

TinSoldier
2006-12-29, 09:15 PM
None of the main characters are real, but rather living their lives in a webcomic with thousands of fans. Roy will have to decide whether to take the red pill or the blue pill to see the truth.

Wait...

Narthon the Bold
2006-12-29, 09:18 PM
Starting with todays comic, we will get a 100 comic epic staring Vaarsuvius's familiar.

fire_hawk
2006-12-29, 09:25 PM
The MitD is... JULIA!

Demented
2006-12-29, 10:45 PM
Celia is Roy's sister.
Belkar is Redcloak's long-lost nephew.
Vaarsuvius is actually a baleful polymorphed doily construct plotting to take over the world.


That last one doesn't seem too absurd, actually.

The Extinguisher
2006-12-29, 11:26 PM
Durkon is actually the god of all things evil and is Redcloaks diety. He is with the Oots to gain access to the gates to control the Snarl and rid the world of all ilfe and impose a new order on the omniverse. He also goes by the name of Banjo.

The Monster in the Dark is Elan, who is also Leeky, V and Haley's Father and Mother to do a freak time travel accident that happened when he killed and resurected Roy as Xykon.

Haley is actually a man, which is why he rooms with V-Elan, so no one will figure it out, as V-Elan isn't the best at genders.

The Snarl is actually Fluffy, Destroyer of Worlds.

Duffren
2006-12-29, 11:46 PM
Durkon is actually undead, he was killed during the fight with Xykon and secretly raised. He is playing the part of Living Durkon so he can brutally kill the OotS when they meet up with Xykon again.

Sabine is Celia's twin sister. That was a pretty wild night...

Belkar is really a Gnome trying to pass himself off as a Halfling, for obvious reasons. His furry feet are really left over props from the Lord of the Rings movies.

Nale is actually the stupid twin, his abuse of Elan's soft, undeveloped head actually knocked something loose that gave him unlimited knowledge. He also got LASER EYES! He is just too wise to use them because he knows what the consequences would be.

SPoD
2006-12-29, 11:48 PM
When OOTS ends, Rich will start a sequel webcomic called, "Mr. Scruffy: Cat of Destiny".

Alysar
2006-12-29, 11:49 PM
Roy is actually Rich who got sucked into his computer and he is secretly on a quest to escape the comic world.

krossbow
2006-12-29, 11:53 PM
Elan is the Evil twin, Nale is the good one.



Realizing that tormenting Roy for eternity is the evilest possible thing he could ever do, Elan pretends to be stupid and horribly abuse Roy's patience and wits. Nale, being the good twin, is determined to stop him at all costs. In addition, this is why he (elan) constantly ruined those paladins who he worked for's plans in the origins books.
________
Daihatsu compagno specifications (http://www.toyota-wiki.com/wiki/Daihatsu_Compagno)

Alysar
2006-12-29, 11:55 PM
Roy and Belkar are secretly lovers

Demented
2006-12-29, 11:58 PM
The Monster in the Dark is Elan, who is also Leeky, V and Haley's Father and Mother to do a freak time travel accident that happened when he killed and resurected Roy as Xykon.

Okay... so the MITD is Elan... and Leeky... and V... and Haley's Father... and Haley's Mother... and killed Roy... and resurrected Roy as Xykon....

That is the mother, father, granduncle and nephew twice-removed of all time travel mess-ups ever.
:smalleek:

Guildorn Tanaleth
2006-12-30, 12:02 AM
Miko is God, and all things exist for Her pleasure. Once She has struck you down, you shall be recreated so that you may be struck down by Her again & again, ad infinitum.

The flumphs are actually the lawyers, who are trying to supplement their incomes with personal injury lawsuits.

The gods want to destroy the world, but the pure goodness of the Snarl stopped them before, so they locked it away while they continued their research into the best possible mode of omniversal extinction.

Is it too late to say that Haley's aphasia will lead to her unlocking latent psionic powers? It is? Well, that just makes it even more absurd.

Wallyz
2006-12-30, 12:11 AM
Durkon is actually the god of all things evil and is Redcloaks diety. He is with the Oots to gain access to the gates to control the Snarl and rid the world of all ilfe and impose a new order on the omniverse. He also goes by the name of Banjo.



Please. Banjthulhu.

The Extinguisher
2006-12-30, 12:12 AM
Did I forget to mention that Xykon is actually Miko's clone who she (Miko) is on a ruthless quest to destroy before it makes her (Original Miko) look Lawful Good, as she is actually a Chaotic Evil Halfling.

He goes by many names. Banjo, Banjthulhu, Dukron, Rich Burlew, Mr. Scruffy. His real name is only pronouncable if you rip out your tounge and tie it to your eyeballs.

Alsadius
2006-12-30, 12:44 AM
The MITD is actually the Snarl. Turns out he was just trying to hug the Greek gods, and things got a bit out of hand.

Dawnstrider_Moogle
2006-12-30, 12:49 AM
In comic 400, an evil army shows up at Azure City and destroys everything.

Not Xykon's evil army, oh no...it's an army of magitek soldiers led by Kefka. No, wait, even better...led by Kafka! The demon cockroaches were actually troops of his spying on Xykon and are going to allow him to take over the universe. And, because he is both Kefka and Kafka, his evil scheme actually succeeds, and he rewrites reality so that every character we've met so far (except Thog) is dead, the world uses Final Fantasy rules, and....the big one...

From 400 on, this is going to be an FF6 sprite comic.

Mwehehehehe.
...okay, despite my FFF (final fantasy fixation), that would suck. But it would be cool if they got another cameo though.

krossbow
2006-12-30, 01:01 AM
In comic 400, an evil army shows up at Azure City and destroys everything.

Not Xykon's evil army, oh no...it's an army of magitek soldiers led by Kefka. No, wait, even better...led by Kafka! The demon cockroaches were actually troops of his spying on Xykon and are going to allow him to take over the universe. And, because he is both Kefka and Kafka, his evil scheme actually succeeds, and he rewrites reality so that every character we've met so far (except Thog) is dead, the world uses Final Fantasy rules, and....the big one...

From 400 on, this is going to be an FF6 sprite comic.

Mwehehehehe.
...okay, despite my FFF (final fantasy fixation), that would suck. But it would be cool if they got another cameo though.





How sickening! you sound like chapters from a self help booklet!
________
SILVERSURFER VAPORIZER (http://vaporizer.org/reviews/silver-surfer)

TinSoldier
2006-12-30, 01:17 AM
He goes by many names. Banjo, Banjthulhu, Dukron, Rich Burlew, Mr. Scruffy. His real name is only pronouncable if you rip out your tounge and tie it to your eyeballs.


The MITD is actually the Snarl. Turns out he was just trying to hug the Greek gods, and things got a bit out of hand.These two actually made me laugh out loud. Not just lol, but LOL!

Closet_Skeleton
2006-12-30, 10:03 AM
V is two people, a boy and a girl.

You know, that might just work...

By the way, there is a secret code in the shop signs in comic 122 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0122.html) that reveals than Banjthulu is in fact the Snarl. He was summoned when V cast Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion in comic 20 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0020.html), those tentacles are the true appearance of the Snarl when he isn't drawn in crayon. At that time some of his essence went inside Elan, causing him to try and hide his eyes. Thus the idea of Banjo the Clown was planted in his head. The Snarl wanted Banjo to join the Asgardian Pantheon so he could destroy it from within.

Amon Star
2006-12-30, 10:07 AM
:redcloak: Diety is The Giant, who wants to destroy the OotS world so he doesn't have to write anymore comics!


All the characters in the comic are Naga equipped with Hats of Disguise - except for Roy, whose real name is Samuel L Jackson, and can't stand these mother****ing on this mother****ing material plane.

LOL!

Ayya the Fearsome
2006-12-30, 10:22 AM
Roy and Belkar are secretly lovers

sexiest. thing. EVAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hyikim
2006-12-30, 10:32 AM
In comic 400, an evil army shows up at Azure City and destroys everything.

Not Xykon's evil army, oh no...it's an army of magitek soldiers led by Kefka. No, wait, even better...led by Kafka! The demon cockroaches were actually troops of his spying on Xykon and are going to allow him to take over the universe. And, because he is both Kefka and Kafka, his evil scheme actually succeeds, and he rewrites reality so that every character we've met so far (except Thog) is dead, the world uses Final Fantasy rules, and....the big one...

From 400 on, this is going to be an FF6 sprite comic.

Mwehehehehe.
...okay, despite my FFF (final fantasy fixation), that would suck. But it would be cool if they got another cameo though.






if that happens, we should all break out our tinfoil hats because Rich is actualy an alien reading our minds finding the funniest things we can think of and putting them into comics, and he sucks us in to after strip #421.06
he will suck us all into his spaceship and we will be his slaves.

this explains the funnyness, why he updates at midnight(so no one sees his space ship) and why he has to draw stick figures :smallwink:

YOU CAN RUN! BUT YOU CANT HIDE!

Spiky
2006-12-31, 12:20 AM
Giant's real name is Gary Larson. He stopped his first famous comic strip in order to devote his life to D&D, but got annoyed with the rules so reverted to cartooning to mock them.

fire_hawk
2006-12-31, 12:29 AM
I am Rich.

kerina
2006-12-31, 12:33 AM
Look at my sig. :P

There's one.

Also, Miko and her horse got mindswapped by the MitD but it has a delayed effect, so you can't tell untill the next episode Miko showed up in.

Xylon is actually the good guy. The gods are trying to destroy the world, but they need to get enough worshipers before they can overthrow the snarl, who is actually holding the majority of their powers inside of the earth. Once the snarl is released, all evil in the world will be purged.

fire_hawk
2006-12-31, 12:36 AM
Haley is actually V's mate, and they are trying to track down their child, Pompey, but are entertaining themselves in the meantime by Haley seducing Ethan so they can have a wild threesome.

I think you're confusing yourself with Ctrl Alt Delete, another webcomic.

Glome
2006-12-31, 12:46 AM
The events leading to the destruction of the gates have been orchestrated by Banjo the God of puppetry in an attempt to blackmail the other gods into letting him into their pantheon.

Grim Oswald
2006-12-31, 08:49 AM
:roy: is actually just a piece of cheese. Honest.

Shikton
2006-12-31, 09:08 AM
Durkon's fear of trees actually comes from a terrible Christmas accident, where a roaming druid though it would be funny to animate the tree and do a little 'forced intrusion'.

Belkar voulenteers for charity work. When someone he knew found out he told them it was because of tax reduction reasons, but once they turned around he pushed his knives into their backs just for safety's sake. That's his deepest, darkest secret. No one shall know he has a kind heart.

And a dirty one:
Elan is hung like a horse. Haley knows, which is why she likes him.

Nevrmore
2006-12-31, 09:32 AM
Durkon's fear of trees stems from the fact that he was originally cast as Cheryl in The Evil Dead.

V is actually a terrorist working for the good of the people against the corrupt kingdom after he was horribly tortured and burned, and he is using the Order of the Stick to help achieve his goals. He urges you to remember, remember the fifth of November.

Grizzt
2006-12-31, 10:44 AM
:thog: is actually a good spellcaster with a high INT sent to punish :nale: for hitting :elan: but his brain gets addled after eating too much ice-cream after 2 servings of meatloaf surprise.:thog: falls in love with :vaarsuvius: who gets divorced to marry his other half.

Tussy the Druid
2006-12-31, 11:24 AM
Miko isn't a chick. Roy is just bisexual.

Alysar
2006-12-31, 12:31 PM
Roy and Belkar are secretly lovers
sexiest. thing. EVAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It occurs to me that I should have said Durkon and Belkar are secretly lovers

Mr.Burn
2006-12-31, 01:15 PM
Miko is Actually the Head of the "Azura Nazie" party... wait this could actually be a spoiler...

then

Miko is actually the Head of the Azura TLAFOS party ( Tolerancem Love and Freedom of Speach)

Belkar under the thick hood of Biterness and hatred, just wnats to be loved.... wiat this could be a Spoiler....

then

Belkar has a Wife and 3 kids

Maurog
2006-12-31, 04:27 PM
Just as Nale is about to finish Elan, he is magically transported away - he was summoned into Erfworld as the "perfect warlord".

The Extinguisher
2006-12-31, 04:44 PM
Just as Nale is about to finish Elan, he is magically transported away - he was summoned into Erfworld as the "perfect warlord".

You win the thread

TigerHunter
2006-12-31, 05:42 PM
You win the thread
Seconded. trgertgert

Dawnstrider_Moogle
2006-12-31, 06:24 PM
How sickening! you sound like chapters from a self help booklet!

:kefka: Run, run, or you'll be well-done!

(I know there's no :kefka: right now, but after 400, there will be. MARK MY WORDS.)

fire_hawk
2006-12-31, 07:15 PM
V used Evan's Spiked Tentacles of WILLING Intrusion... on Durkon.

Demented
2006-12-31, 07:31 PM
V used Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Willing Intrusion on Roy and one of the thorns got left behind.

It makes so much sense.

Sol
2006-12-31, 07:32 PM
this is hands down the best thread ever.

Belkar's riding dog is the only living creature capable of permanently destroying the snarl.

Green Bean
2006-12-31, 07:40 PM
Hinjo is a level 74 demilich who polymorphed himself into a paladin and then used an army of intelligent undead that he created to start a fake order of paladins. Xykon is really a LG paladin/sorceror who fell victim to a botched reincarnation roll, and is invading Azhure city to rescue Shojo's cat, who is his baleful polymorphed wife.

Mr Wizard
2006-12-31, 09:17 PM
MitD is Martha Stewart (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0103.html)

TreesOfDeath
2007-01-01, 10:59 AM
The snarl is actually Rich's imagination on a bad day. Belkar becomes a hippy, Xylon kills dumbledore, Haley is a man, V is an unkown 3rd gender just discovered by man,the monster in the dark is YOU,the strip will end with Rich saying "I'm bored of this, rocks fall and everyone dies", Xylon let Miko live as part of his plan to fill the board with inane topics thereby removing Rich's will to live

Amon Star
2007-01-01, 11:19 AM
:miko:'s parents are Fighter and White Mage from 8 Bit Theatre.

:durkon:'s father is Kore from Goblins.

:elan: really is a Pineapple Junk that got polymorphed into a human.

:sabine: is really a teenage Celestial going through 'that' faze.

:xykon: is :roy:'s real father.

:redcloak: is known as Mandy on weekends.

:haley:'s dark secret is she's not a natural red.

:thog: becomes the God of Puppies.

Nevrmore
2007-01-01, 11:41 AM
Xylon kills dumbledore,
Xylon? Is that some horrible fusion of Xykon and a Cylon from Battlestar Galactica? Hey, that gives me an idea:

Xykon has a horrible, twisted mecca-skeletal bastard child with a Cylon and names it Xylon.

Ampersand
2007-01-01, 11:57 AM
:miko:'s parents are Fighter and White Mage from 8 Bit Theatre.

Healing powers...seemingly immune to stabbity...

My gawd, you're on to something!

Would that make Black Mage Belkar's father, then? And wait...Xykon hangs out with Redcloak...Xykon is Red Mage?


:haley:'s dark secret is she's not a natural red.

I thought that was obvious? :smallsmile:

Amon Star
2007-01-01, 12:07 PM
Healing powers...seemingly immune to stabbity...

My gawd, you're on to something!

Would that make Black Mage Belkar's father, then? And wait...Xykon hangs out with Redcloak...Xykon is Red Mage?

Black Mage is :vaarsuvius:'s father, as they're both bolt machines.

:xykon: has to much style to be Red Mage.


I thought that was obvious? :smallsmile:

The real question is, what's :haley:'s real colouring?

Ampersand
2007-01-01, 02:51 PM
Black Mage is :vaarsuvius:'s father, as they're both bolt machines.

Though he obviously didn't pass down the Hadoken, or how to learn it.


:xykon: has to much style to be Red Mage.

True, but there are some similarities. Xykon knowing enough about metagaming to know that all the Azure Watchtowers keep the distress beckon in the same place, for instance. Xykon is probably what RM would be if RM was compotent enough to be a threat. And didn't, ya'know...have the whole dress thing...


The real question is, what's :haley:'s real colouring?

Probably a boring ol' generic blond.

Here's one: After building Kraagor's dungeon, Serini Toormuck settled down to raise a family with the nice Bitterleaf boy from across the field.

Shadow of the Sun
2007-01-01, 03:06 PM
I think that last one is actually pretty plausible.

PirateMonk
2007-01-01, 05:14 PM
this is hands down the best thread ever.

Thanks. But some of the Four Words threads might actually be better... hmmm... they don't have hilarity in almost every post...
Great work, everyone.

silvadel
2007-01-01, 05:24 PM
Thog is actually a paladin who was feebleminded and polymorphed into a half-orc.

Varsuvius is suffering from a belt of gender change that is the 10% that removes all gender from the subject.

Roy's Grandfather(whos soul was in the greatsword) possessed him from a young age convincing him to be a fighter instead of a mage.

Haley's Father is actually NOT imprisoned, but is working with the King of Tyrannus.

Hilgya killed the old high priest of Thor to allow Durkon to enter the dwarven lands and is presently waiting for him not knowing that the message was intercepted and destroyed.

Mayo_the_Thurmaturge
2007-01-01, 08:10 PM
The prison bars actually did eat Nale's breadcrumbs.

Doilies are the gateway to ultimate arcane power, and mocha lattes are the key to the gateway. Pompey discovers that his classmates are getting better experience than him, by using the lattes that they were pretending to bring to their bosses and gaining ultimate power. However, due to Larry Gardener's power of surviving anything against all odds, he found out about an evil plot to harness the power of the children of his school, and to save everyone, he had to kill them all and thereafter become famous and wealthy. Thus, the knowledge of the power of mocha lattes + doilies were lost forever.

Ummm...
Yokyok doesn't die, and is Xykon, due to the best drunken wizard of Shojo being drunken and casting a mangled spell.

How about... Blackwing (I assume that this (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0331.html) is BW) asked how to take over the world to the Oracle, and he hasn't been around because he was trying to figure out how to, and now that he knows the secret, he is plotting to activate his plan when Xykon attacks Azure city.

Reptilius
2007-01-01, 08:40 PM
The Oracle of Sunken valley is really Xykon in Disguise.
Sabine is Roy's cousin.
Julio Scoundrel is Nale and Elan's real father, not the "Lawful Evil Warlord."
Belkar causes the death of Miko, Miko's horse, Roy, Vaarsuvius, and the Oracle over a rules dispute.

Mayo_the_Thurmaturge
2007-01-01, 08:41 PM
The Oracle of Sunken valley is really Xykon in Disguise.
Sabine is Roy's cousin.
Julio Scoundrel is Nale and Elan's real father, not the "Lawful Evil Warlord."

That could actually work.

Khantalas
2007-01-01, 08:48 PM
MitD is Grace before she met Tedd.

Really, who hasn't thought of that?

Alsadius
2007-01-01, 10:48 PM
Durkon is actually just Dorukon after he was hit by a nasty poison of the DM's invention that drains Wisdom and height.

TinSoldier
2007-01-01, 11:04 PM
Durkon is actually just Dorukon after he was hit by a nasty poison of the DM's invention that drains Wisdom and height.Or drains spelling capability...


Roy's Grandfather(whos soul was in the greatsword) possessed him from a young age convincing him to be a fighter instead of a mage.No, wait! Xykon is Roy's grandfather. He was a fighter before his latent sorcerer's powers made themselves known, at which point it drove him insane (and evil) and he killed Eugene's mentor (because Eugene did not become a fighter). Xykon then went on to embrace the arcane powers that he otherwise hated and learned how to make himself a lich. Eugene knows his father is Xykon yet has never forgiven him hence the blood oath.

It all makes sense now!

Guildorn Tanaleth
2007-01-02, 01:58 AM
In one of his daring raids, Julio Scoundrel is thrust back in time and takes up a job at the police department in Cliffport for some reason. Just before he would meet Elan again, however, he gets his head randomly chopped off by an enemy of Elan's. That's right --- he's the CPPD chief, the NPC of eternal awesomeness!

Shott
2007-01-03, 02:16 AM
V attains the ultimate arcane power by saying "It takes three licks" to the owl (refering to Tootsie Pops.) The Owl ends up being the MitD, who grants V his own power for answering his age old riddle. (S)He becomes the lord of candy and fights Xykon, who is secretly the Fruit Pie Sorceror. After a long battle, we find out the Xykon is V's mate, who was killed and undead-ified by the true evil mastermind, Thog. Xykon dies, and V leaves the order to achieve hir revenge. After some time, V enlists Miko, Nale, Redcloak, and Fighter to form his own team, the Justice League. After the battle on Thog's spaceship, all of V's allies are killed but Nale. V finally defeats Thog in hand-to-hand combat. Having avenged hir lost love, V falls in love with Nale and they settle down in Cliffport. Nale is eventually killed by some unknown power, and V decides that all injustice must not be tolerated. (S)he will work outside the law to kill all evil. Renaming hirself The Punisher, V slaughters many villians, until Elan shows up and traps him in the frozen throne. Now V/The Punisher buys hir time as the Lich King, waiting til hir chosen warrior will release them. The Chosen Warrior is none other than Samus Aran, but that is a tale for another day.

Eva
2007-01-04, 11:21 PM
Banjthulu is the MitD.
The snarl is a doily.

fire_hawk
2007-01-05, 12:12 AM
No, wait! Xykon is Roy's grandfather. He was a fighter before his latent sorcerer's powers made themselves known, at which point it drove him insane (and evil) and he killed Eugene's mentor (because Eugene did not become a fighter). Xykon then went on to embrace the arcane powers that he otherwise hated and learned how to make himself a lich. Eugene knows his father is Xykon yet has never forgiven him hence the blood oath.

It all makes sense now!

That... is actually plausible...

Setra
2007-01-05, 02:23 AM
Okay here goes... I'm gonna try for the most implausible thing of the comic strip.

Haley and Belkar are actually a god and a goddess, two who survived the snarl, however only because they sided with it. They are also lovers, and their children are the dwarves. Haley only is with Elan so she can chop off his 'weapon of choice' and give it to Belkar, who is hung like a gorilla (which is only 3-4 inches, surprisingly) while Elan is hung like horse.

Elan however is actually a god as well, the god of Sin. He wishes to have sex with all women in the world, wile pretending to be an idiot, to make others suffer his wrath. Elan is the father of Sabine.

Nale is the God of Plotholes, to cover up the rest of this stuff.

Kefka is in the strip, he is disguised as Banjo, waiting for the time to strike. Nothing like the sound of a thousand voices screaming in unison.

Roy's grandfather is Cyan.

fire_hawk
2007-01-05, 03:29 AM
Y'know, I've heard Elan&Miko, and Belkar&V, but that Haley&Belkar=Lovers just made me vomit.

TinSoldier
2007-01-05, 11:39 AM
That... is actually plausible...Does that mean I lose the thread?

Darn :smallfrown: !

Alysar
2007-01-05, 02:51 PM
Y'know, I've heard Elan&Miko, and Belkar&V, but that Haley&Belkar=Lovers just made me vomit.

What about my Durkon&Belkar that I posted a page back?

Duke of URL
2007-01-05, 03:09 PM
:haley:'s dark secret is she's not a natural red.


Impossible, Strip #35 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0035.html) gave waaaaaaay to many people the chance to determine if that one was true.

Dawnstrider_Moogle
2007-01-05, 03:13 PM
Impossible, Strip #35 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0035.html) gave waaaaaaay to many people the chance to determine if that one was true.

.......:eek:

The Extinguisher
2007-01-05, 04:42 PM
Okay... so the MITD is Elan... and Leeky... and V... and Haley's Father... and Haley's Mother... and killed Roy... and resurrected Roy as Xykon....

That is the mother, father, granduncle and nephew twice-removed of all time travel mess-ups ever.
:smalleek:

No, not quite.

If he was the father and mother of V and Haley, than it would be the mother, father, granduncle and nephew twice-removed of all time travel mess-ups ever.

Wait, thats why V rooms with Haley, because they are siblings! It all makes perfect sense!

Setra
2007-01-05, 04:55 PM
Y'know, I've heard Elan&Miko, and Belkar&V, but that Haley&Belkar=Lovers just made me vomit.

Muahahaha, one down, 4 billion to go.. soon my world domination shall be complete!... Er.. Nevermind, I said nothing!

Expeditious Retreat!

Genome
2007-01-05, 07:51 PM
OotS is actually a very elaborate LARP that has been running nonstop at a huge convention center for years now.

Fruit Pie the Sorcerer faked his own death and will be revealed as the true final boss after Xykon is defeated.

DrowWolfrider
2007-01-05, 08:32 PM
V is my character as a high elf instead of a drow from Neverwinter Nights 2 and Rich just stole my idea.
his mate is a half tiefling half assimar and is also on a quest to avenge his Mother who was killed by the Popcorn god and thats is why he needs ultimate arcane power, after gaining that power to test it he will destroy the body of Raistlin Majere and send his soul on its way because in colledge they where roommates. Nale is the half coisin of the pizza I had last night.

dakiwiboid
2007-01-05, 08:48 PM
:roy: is actually just a piece of cheese. Honest.

EEEEEEEEEEEEK! There's that scary CHEESE again!

Khantalas
2007-01-05, 08:54 PM
Well, MitD is actually Weird Al. It is his latest parody of the scary last resort minions.

fire_hawk
2007-01-05, 08:58 PM
What about my Durkon&Belkar that I posted a page back?

:eek: *insert vomiting scene from Team America*

PirateMonk
2007-01-06, 05:49 PM
Here's one I heard in real life, as well as I can remember:

At the end of OOTS, Haley and Elan will engage in a DDR championship, with the MitD as a spectator. Only the darkness will be gone, revealing that is, in fact, Elan's mother.

I think there was some other part that I can't remember.

Pegasos989
2007-01-06, 06:13 PM
There is no spoon.

PirateMonk
2007-01-06, 07:18 PM
I just had a flash of insight:

Miko is Durkon and Roy's daughter. But Vaarsuvius (a corrupter demon in league with Sabine) wiped their memories.

Jewel Thief
2007-01-06, 07:20 PM
I just had a flash of insight:

Miko is Durkon and Roy's daughter. But Vaarsuvius (a corrupter demon in league with Sabine) wiped their memories.

Which one had the baby?

DrowWolfrider
2007-01-06, 08:24 PM
I just had a flash of insight:

Miko is Durkon and Roy's daughter. But Vaarsuvius (a corrupter demon in league with Sabine) wiped their memories.

thats just wrong

Setra
2007-01-06, 09:17 PM
There is no spoon.

It's a spork!

Erek Garnsfel
2007-01-06, 10:19 PM
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! I Am Going Insane!!!!! Tho Much Insanity Bubbling Around Me!

TinSoldier
2007-01-07, 12:32 AM
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! I Am Going Insane!!!!! Tho Much Insanity Bubbling Around Me!Hey, that's not absurd!

The Extinguisher
2007-01-07, 12:53 AM
Comic #400 will consist of Xykon's army storming Azure City, only to be stopped by Azure's cites extraordinary large number of bear calvary. During the battle Redcloak, Elan, Miko, Belkar and Baker Wizard are magically transported to a desert island where they meet a wise old pumpkin by the name of Floobably-Doop, who teaches them in the art of emo music, and they get off the island somehow with their new skills, and form a band, called Miko and the Rest. The lineup is as followed.

Miko: Lead Singer
Elan: Guitar/Lute/Backup Vocals
Redcloak: Bass
Belkar: Drums
Baker Wizard: Keyboard

They tour around the country, but Baker Wizard is kicked out for drug abuse and sent to rehab, and is replaced by Leeky.

During their world tour (after many successful albums) they happened to run into another band, their arch rival, the Undeads Plus. With Xykon as the lead singer and guitar, Celia on bass, and Nale playing Drums. The two bands decide to battle it out, old school style. They jam so loud that The Snarl hears and gives up on killing to settle down with a nice young female snarl.

That day was officially announced "The Best Day in Existence" by Lord and Supreme Ruler of All Things Alive and Many Things Not Durkon, after being advised by his advisor in charge of ice cream and puppies, Thog.

Suffice to say, Banjo was pleased, and Roy was annoyed.

Khantalas
2007-01-07, 02:33 AM
Comic #400 will consist of Xykon's army storming Azure City, only to be stopped by Azure's cites extraordinary large number of bear calvary. During the battle Redcloak, Elan, Miko, Belkar and Baker Wizard are magically transported to a desert island where they meet a wise old pumpkin by the name of Floobably-Doop, who teaches them in the art of emo music, and they get off the island somehow with their new skills, and form a band, called Miko and the Rest. The lineup is as followed.

Miko: Lead Singer
Elan: Guitar/Lute/Backup Vocals
Redcloak: Bass
Belkar: Drums
Baker Wizard: Keyboard

They tour around the country, but Baker Wizard is kicked out for drug abuse and sent to rehab, and is replaced by Leeky.

During their world tour (after many successful albums) they happened to run into another band, their arch rival, the Undeads Plus. With Xykon as the lead singer and guitar, Celia on bass, and Nale playing Drums. The two bands decide to battle it out, old school style. They jam so loud that The Snarl hears and gives up on killing to settle down with a nice young female snarl.

That day was officially announced "The Best Day in Existence" by Lord and Supreme Ruler of All Things Alive and Many Things Not Durkon, after being advised by his advisor in charge of ice cream and puppies, Thog.

Suffice to say, Banjo was pleased, and Roy was annoyed.

This post just rocked my socks. And I am not currently wearing socks.

Ampersand
2007-01-07, 02:44 AM
Nice, Flame Master. But I think you forgot to mention that Eugene plays trombone for Undead Plus and Mr. Scruffy produced Miko and Rest's albums.

Scalenex
2007-01-07, 04:23 AM
Everything with [Spoilers] on it is absurd. In order to be a true Spoiler it would need to be given by Rich himself.

Setra
2007-01-07, 06:07 AM
Everything with [Spoilers] on it is absurd. In order to be a true Spoiler it would need to be given by Rich himself.
I think, technically, things in Origins could be considered spoilers, because many people have not yet read it. Speaking of which I need to get Origins.

The absurd thing here, is the following sentence
Maybe I'll get my brother to order it, and just pay him.
Like I'd ever pay him

Amon Star
2007-01-07, 08:03 AM
Impossible, Strip #35 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0035.html) gave waaaaaaay to many people the chance to determine if that one was true.

She only lost her top. I really don't that :haley: has a hairy chest.

TheAnimal
2007-01-07, 08:23 AM
The real question is, what's :haley:'s real colouring?

Probably tan-ish. I think that's the most common natural colour of "all natural hair dye" redheads.

Also in the last strip of OotS the OotSers find out it was all just one of those extended holodeck episodes.

Ampersand
2007-01-07, 11:11 AM
I think, technically, things in Origins could be considered spoilers, because many people have not yet read it. Speaking of which I need to get Origins.

That raises the question of of how long we have to keep the blinders on. Origins was originally published August of 2005...nearly a year and a half ago. I for one have no problem talking about and citing things that happened in Origins, since more than enough time has passed since it's originaly publication that it can be assumed everyone who was interested in reading it has done so, and there's nothing particularly earth shattering in there anyway...

Skippy
2007-01-07, 11:44 AM
Hey, I haven't read it still!!! I haven't got money **sigh**

PirateMonk
2007-01-07, 04:38 PM
I just realized I misspelled "too."
Anyway: the Snarl is :mitd: , as has suggested, and it already settled down with a nice female snarl: Blackwing. Blackwing was either asking the Oracle for advice on how to make the marriage work or was asking about how to be happy. What is "ginko bilboa"?

Skippy
2007-01-07, 05:49 PM
I believe Ginkgo Biloba is a root, ot a plant, which is commonly used to prevent memory loss... In fact, it improves all brain functions, according to the Wikipedia...

vbushido
2007-01-07, 06:40 PM
Durkon is actually just Dorukon after he was hit by a nasty poison of the DM's invention that drains Wisdom and height.

*snorfle* That deserves some honorable mention for absurdity. A Wizard gets Wisdom drained into a cleric. Brilliant! :smallbiggrin: Bwahahaha!

If you need it explained:
A INTelligence based caster WISdom drained into a WISdom based caster.

-----
I love deadlines. I enjoy the whooshing sound they make as they go by

Alysar
2007-01-08, 11:20 AM
I believe Ginkgo Biloba is a root, ot a plant, which is commonly used to prevent memory loss... In fact, it improves all brain functions, according to the Wikipedia...

They did a study of Ginkgo a couple years ago to find out if it actually does improve memory.

Apparently, it does approximately jack.

Duke of URL
2007-01-08, 12:11 PM
She only lost her top. I really don't that :haley: has a hairy chest.

I'm sure during some of those more exotic movements, she flashed more than just her top.

Kilbia
2007-01-08, 01:10 PM
Durkon's fear of trees actually comes from a terrible Christmas accident, where a roaming druid though it would be funny to animate the tree and do a little 'forced intrusion'.

You mean the pixie Black Francis of the clan Bjorkenstock? :smallwink:

(If you *weren't* deliberately referring to the webcomic "Something*Positive", then just rest assured that in somebody else's parallel universe, the very thing you suggest has been done. And the victimized PC was a cleric, no less!)

TheAnimal
2007-01-09, 02:03 AM
All the characters in the comic are Naga equipped with Hats of Disguise - except for Roy, whose real name is Samuel L Jackson, and can't stand these mother****ing on this mother****ing material plane.
By now, he probably can't stand these mother****ing jokes about mother****ing snakes on a mother****ing plane. :tongue:
If this is true, then I bet at the end of the Xykon storyline, Roy's going to go all Harrison Ford on Xykon, tossing his phylactery through a vortex to the Negative Energy plane while shouting "Get off my (prime material) plane!".

ElfLad
2007-01-09, 02:14 AM
The last panel of the comic will be the Spanish Inquisition.

Setra
2007-01-09, 02:33 AM
The last panel of the comic will be the Spanish Inquisition.

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!!

Thog's Puppy
2007-01-09, 08:34 AM
Thog's Puppy should have fun by biting not-nale nad his peeny friends:smalltongue:

Amon Star
2007-01-09, 08:41 AM
I'm sure during some of those more exotic movements, she flashed more than just her top.

Considering how tight leather is, not likely.

Saithis Bladewing
2007-01-09, 11:28 AM
Omg lol I figured it out!

Haley is V's mate! Look how he/she/it treats Haley in #398 (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/../comics/oots0398.html). Obviously, Haley and V are into the whole threesome thing.

Wrong, just wrong on so many levels. I can't believe the giant could stoop to this level!

BardicLasher
2007-01-09, 06:08 PM
True, but there are some similarities. Xykon knowing enough about metagaming to know that all the Azure Watchtowers keep the distress beckon in the same place, for instance. Xykon is probably what RM would be if RM was compotent enough to be a threat. And didn't, ya'know...have the whole dress thing...


Time out, time out! What do you THINK Xykon is wearing? That's no robe, that's a DRESS, just like Red Mage would want it!

I am entirely in favor of Xykon is Red Mage.


As for MY absurd assumption: Roy and Durkon perform the Fusion Dance to become Roykon, and proceed to WTFPWN Xykon with a 10x Thor's Might Power Attack.

Uzraid
2007-01-09, 09:25 PM
Super Everybody! Everybody! Episode #400 is a Homestar Runner crossover. The cast?

Bubs as :roy:
Strong Bad as :durkon:
The Cheat as :belkar:
Marzipan as :haley:
Homestar as :elan:
Homsar as :vaarsuvius:

also also wik:

Marshie as :xykon:
Strong Mad as :thog:
Larry from Limozeen as :mitd:

Saithis Bladewing
2007-01-09, 11:39 PM
Super Everybody! Everybody! Episode #400 is a Homestar Runner crossover. The cast?

Bubs as :roy:
Strong Bad as :durkon:
The Cheat as :belkar:
Marzipan as :haley:
Homestar as :elan:
Homsar as :vaarsuvius:

also also wik:

Marshie as :xykon:
Strong Mad as :thog:
Larry from Limozeen as :mitd:

Why would Durkon be Strong Bad? Seems like Xykon would be a more fitting Strong Bad.

ElfLad
2007-01-09, 11:41 PM
Durkon is so King of Town.

Uzraid
2007-01-10, 12:01 AM
Why would Durkon be Strong Bad? Seems like Xykon would be a more fitting Strong Bad.

Three reasons:

1. For all his badditude, SB is still very much a protagonist, even if he antagonizes everybody else,
2. SB is a primary character and needed to be matched up with someone in OOTS, and they've both got a heavy metal thing going on, and
3. KoT was going to be the Baker Wizard, I think.

Yeah, I know, it's imperfect, but that's what makes it too absurd to be considered a spoiler. Rich (and, presumably, the Brothers Chaps) would do a much better job of casting the parts.

I guess the good times are over.

Uzraid
2007-01-10, 12:04 AM
Why would Durkon be Strong Bad? Seems like Xykon would be a more fitting Strong Bad.

Plus Strong Bad has an accent.

ABChristine
2007-01-10, 12:50 AM
elan is going to die, and for some reason they can't resurrect him, and haley is going to be depressed, but life will move on... then like 300 strips later, with the popularity of the strip waning ever since elan was killed off (which led to only a short boost in popularity as it was slowly being revealed who killed him, only for us to finally find out it was V's familiar in a desperate attempt to get V's attention) haley is going to wake up and find him showering.
"it was all a dream"

Jewel Thief
2007-01-10, 01:43 AM
In fact, all of OOTS was just a dream... by Roy right before he sets out on the adventure into Xykon's cave with his new team of companions (Elan, V, etc). Which means Rich Burlew will just start reposting his old dungeon posts as part of the OOTS Next (or First) adventure.

Uzraid
2007-01-10, 01:47 AM
In fact, all of OOTS was just a dream... by Roy right before he sets out on the adventure into Xykon's cave with his new team of companions (Elan, V, etc). Which means Rich Burlew will just start reposting his old dungeon posts as part of the OOTS Next (or First) adventure.

No, it was Nale's dream!

And it will resume with the LG in Dorukan's keep.

The Extinguisher
2007-01-10, 02:09 AM
No, it was Elan's dream, and the story goes all final destination on us after Elan saves the parties life.

ElfLad
2007-01-10, 02:13 AM
Elan will take on a stuffed tiger familiar named Hobbes.

Amon Star
2007-01-10, 08:17 AM
Omg lol I figured it out!

Haley is V's mate! Look how he/she/it treats Haley in #398 (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/../comics/oots0398.html). Obviously, Haley and V are into the whole threesome thing.

Wrong, just wrong on so many levels. I can't believe the giant could stoop to this level!

What do you mean Wrong? That is the hottest thing I've read all day! :smallamused:

Setra
2007-01-10, 12:02 PM
Miko never actually had Parents, she was born from the Snarl.

Tharj TreeSmiter
2007-01-11, 08:01 PM
Xykon is Roy's real dad!
Haley is Nale/Elan's lost twin sister!
V is neither male nore female but androgenous

Demented
2007-01-11, 08:09 PM
Durkon was actually kicked out of dwarfland because he was a prodigious groper and womanizer, who's been put under a Geas to act lawful so as not to be too much of a problem-maker or give a wrong impression of dwarves to other humanoids. He also made a bit of a ruckus in the last Orgy of Thor celebration, prompting some to make rather annoyed predictions about him, but those were largely inconsequential and probably inspired by a significant amount of intoxication.


V is a victim of Polymorph Any Object. Her mate is a Gnomish Hooked Hammer.

Cleverdan22
2007-01-11, 09:07 PM
Belkar decides to renounce his evil ways and marrys Miko!

...

BWAHAHAHAAAA!!! Fun.

The Extinguisher
2007-01-11, 11:30 PM
No, Miko decides to renounce her paladin ways and marry Belkar.

Ampersand
2007-01-12, 12:01 AM
Linear Guild Mark III: Nale, Thog, Sabine, Fighter, Ryu, and Marsha Brady

The Extinguisher
2007-01-12, 12:18 AM
Black Mage would be better, and would be a suitable opposite to V

Ampersand
2007-01-12, 01:11 AM
Black Mage would be better, and would be a suitable opposite to V

Too predictable. Besides, Fighter would be effective against two members of the OotS...all he'd have to do is explain the Zen Animal Style and then whip out the sword-chucks and Roy's head would explode, then V would asphyxiate herself enumerating the number of things wrong with both the premise of what Fighter said and the manner in which he said it.

Paperfury
2007-01-12, 01:59 AM
Xykon is still in the closet. He never killed Roy's dad's master out of hate, he loved him, but discovered he was cheating on him with Roy's dad, and killed him. Roy's dad wanted to get Xykon for killing his only love.

ElfLad
2007-01-12, 02:17 AM
In which case, Roy's father is even deeper in the closet. Even going out with Violet to cloak his true feelings. Although he could be bi.

He's bi for Vi!

The Extinguisher
2007-01-12, 02:21 AM
No, he's bi for V!
Everyone is bi for V!

Okay, lets move on. Mr Scruffy is actually Optimus Prime and Megatron.

Setra
2007-01-12, 10:41 AM
No, Mr. Scruffy is Alfador, the most powerful being in the Multiverse.

Uzraid
2007-01-12, 11:02 AM
The four words Vaarsuvius says to achieve complete and ultimate arcane power: Pass me that doily.

Also, Giant will reveal that the OOTS story is actually a reframing of the early days of hip hop, and OOTS themselves are meant to represent (recent Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductees) Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. Durkon is meant to be Mellie Mel. It will all come out when Belkar says to Miko, "Don't push me cos I'm close to the edge."

There.

Grey Watcher
2007-01-12, 11:13 AM
Xykon is actually Baron Pineapple! Think about it, he already had white hair when he killed Roy's father's master, so that probably means he's old enough to have been around at the time, right? And the Holey Brotherhood member was probably killed, right? So I'm right, because there isn't any evidence to contradict me!

Unless... the Holey Brotherhood's cloaks are blue and Xykon's robes are blue, so they must be one and the same!

Wait a minute! I've got it! Baron Pineapple WAS a member of the Holey Brotherhood, and later became Xykon! Of course, it all makes so much sense!

And he's Miko's father.

Duke of URL
2007-01-12, 11:24 AM
And he's Miko's father.
You know, that's so cliche that the Giant almost has to use it in a strip at some point... maybe not Xykon/Miko, but some combination of characters will be discovered to be parent/sibling just so that that genre staple can be mercilessly mocked.

Paperfury
2007-01-12, 03:58 PM
The four words Vaarsuvius says to achieve complete and ultimate arcane power: Pass me that doily.

Nah, I believe it'll be more like, "Crap, that wasn't butter." (yes, I know, wasn't is 2 words, but... oh well)

Also, Elan will be revealed as Xykon's brother, who used to be the smartest person in the entire world, but Xykon used some curse on him that until he can trick 50 rogues in parties with names that end in the letter k, he will become overly retarded. Haley happens to be #50.

One last one, Roy and Durkon are both actually escaped convicts, who are both dwarves, but Roy has disguised himself as a human and taken a new name. They were mass murderers, and killed most victims after growing close to them in parties. Durkon is in disguise as a male, she is actually a female.

Uzraid
2007-01-12, 05:54 PM
The strip 400 special will be a cut away to the IRL session where the OOTS is being played. Haley will be played by a 90-pound 14-year-old doofus. The rest of the characters will be played by hot chicks in bikinis. It will be the best strip ever.

Tharj TreeSmiter
2007-01-12, 07:44 PM
Roy is the snarl!!!

TinSoldier
2007-01-12, 08:01 PM
Durkon is the unholy offspring of Thor and the Snarl (Hey! It was a wild night with lots of beer!) and that is why he can't go home :smallfrown: !

silvadel
2007-01-12, 11:15 PM
Nale or his succubus friend managed to switch places either physically or mentally with elan and in the next comic we will see the dagger come out as new not-nale plunges it into Haley.

Illiander
2007-01-13, 01:35 PM
V's 4 words: "<sarcasm>So you are me?</sarcasm>" to a begger who turns out to be a future version of himself that has used his ultimate arcane power to travel back in time to give it to himself so that he can travel back in time to give it to himself so that.....
before he learns everything he gets attacked by evil robot Roy and Durkon, who were sent back in time by Elan and Haley's daughter, who thinks that they were bad parents because of all the peace they brought to the world, so wants to stop them from bringing all the multiverse into harmony with music, after explaining that this is why they're going to be killed by their daughter, Elan decides it'd be a good idea to try to bring all the multiverse into harmony with his music, and V gives Elan and Haley an extended timestop with Wild Stallions to allow him to learn how to sing well. Thus giving Elan his happy ending. And thog goes and builds a stray dogs home in the gumdrop mountains.

Green Bean
2007-01-13, 01:39 PM
:roy: is :thog:'s father

'nuff said

PirateMonk
2007-01-14, 01:19 PM
I'll try for a family tree using all the smilies and a few more characters...

:mitd: is :nale: and :sabine: 's mother, Zz'dtri being the father... and :mitd: is :vaarsuvius: . :haley: is their (nale and sabine's) daughter. :roy: is :belkar: 's father. :belkar: is :durkon: 's father. :durkon: is :roy: 's father. Haley is the mother, :xykon: , and, :redcloak: 's cousin. :elan: and :thog: are lovers. :miko: and :roach: are their kids. :miko: married :redcloak: .

That's everyone, all tied together. :smallbiggrin:

onasuma
2007-01-14, 02:21 PM
Mr. Scruffy is actually wearing an invisable belt of gender change, and is in fact... Mrs Scruffy. Dun, dun, Duhnhnhn. also Miko and Lord Shojo are married and created the 5 gates for there own amusment.

Green Bean
2007-01-14, 03:08 PM
http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h87/osiris32/BxV-1.jpg

Now that's absurd.

mockingbyrd7
2007-01-14, 04:23 PM
Xykon is Roy's real dad!
Haley is Nale/Elan's lost twin sister!
V is neither male nore female but androgenous

WOW. That would be... WEIRD. If like, 20 strips from now, Elan finds out he was making out with his sister! AAAAAH!

silvadel
2007-01-14, 04:35 PM
http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h87/osiris32/BxV-1.jpg


Now that's absurd.

What you dont see are the swirly eyes.

Norenche
2007-01-14, 04:47 PM
http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h87/osiris32/BxV-1.jpg


Now that's absurd.

That would be disturbing, not absurd

Also, V is his/her own grandad/grandma

PirateMonk
2007-01-19, 09:09 PM
This isn't thread necromancy; it's just resuscitation.

Cure Critical Wounds!

PirateMonk
2007-01-20, 03:51 PM
Ok: As has been suggested, Hinjo is really the shadow dancer, and gets hired to kill Shojo. He does so, and becomes depressed, almost committing suicide (sepaku?), causing the OOTS to assume he's dead. However, he later returns with his dwarven friend, under the guidance of Mr. Scruffy, to save the PCs at a critical moment. He then embarks on his spin-off comic, Mr. Scruffy: Cat of Destiny-- Sellswords Trilogy-style!

PirateMonk
2007-01-24, 07:06 PM
Sabine is a were-succubus. Since she's a succubus (demon), cold iron should hurt her, but she's a were-creature, so it's the silver.

Is this dead?

Amon Star
2007-01-25, 11:14 AM
Everyone is bi for V!

QFT!



http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h87/osiris32/BxV-1.jpg

Now that's absurd.

No, that's cute! Really, they would make a great couple.

Setra
2007-01-25, 11:24 AM
No, that's cute! Really, they would make a great couple.

No offense intended, but you sir, need to have a talk with the men in white coats.

The Hammer of Thor
2007-01-25, 11:55 AM
All of the characters are undead, except Xykon, who is an undead who died and is now an undead undead, meaning he's alive. Needless to say, he os therefore feeling quite left out. Hence his plan to control the snarl. Which doesn't really exist. And behind the gates is another universe which we know as the one in the comic. So Living Xykon and his army of undead everythings open the gates on Undead Xykon and his army of living things.

That's really stupid.
And quite complicated.

Green Bean
2007-01-25, 12:23 PM
No, that's cute! Really, they would make a great couple.

Yeah, but what would V's mate think? It would be either "My wife's cheating on me with a evil halfling!" or "My husband 'switched teams' and is cheating on me with a evil halfling!" or "My...uh...umm. You know, I just realized even I don't know what sex Vaarsuvius is..."

The Extinguisher
2007-01-25, 03:19 PM
Yeah, what if Belkar was V's mate, and is just faking it all to not raise suspision.

PirateMonk
2007-01-25, 08:31 PM
Good to know. Now if we could get our own ideas instead of discussing other people's...

Sabine is V's mate, but Elan is Sabine shape-shifted. Haley is being manipulated to cover their activities.

Not a Paladin
2007-01-25, 08:58 PM
When the OotS is finally going to go strike down Xykon once and for all, they learn that he's actually the Snarl polymorphed into a lich. During the battle, :xykon: unleashes all of his power and transforms into the Snarl. Then, it is revealed that :redcloak: and :mitd: are actually Girard and Dorukan, having disguised themselves and used an illusion of Dorukan to fool :xykon: into thinking that he had killed Dorukan. Then, they simply waited until the time was right for them to make their dramatic appearance. Then, the Snarl transforms into its true form: an evil incarnation of the essence of terrible sprite comics, come to destroy The Order of the Stick and replace it with a poorly executed Sonic the Hedgehog parody. Then, the OotS, Girard, Dorukan, and the demon roaches face off against the evil incarnation of terrible sprite comics in order to restore balance to the world of webcomics once and for all.

Edit: Were the spoiler tags necessary? Also changed "sprite comics" to "terrible sprite comics". You know, the kind you can't understand without a decoder ring.

PirateMonk
2007-01-25, 09:01 PM
When the OotS is finally going to go strike down Xykon once and for all, they learn that he's actually the Snarl polymorphed into a lich. During the battle, :xykon: unleashes all of his power and transforms into the Snarl. Then, it is revealed that :redcloak: and :mitd: are actually Girard and Dorukan, having disguised themselves and used an illusion of Dorukan to fool :xykon: into thinking that he had killed Dorukan. Then, they simply waited until the time was right for them to make their dramatic appearance. Then, the Snarl transforms into its true form: an evil incarnation of the essence of sprite comics, come to destroy The Order of the Stick and replace it with a poorly executed Sonic the Hedgehog parody. Then, the OotS, Girard, Dorukan, and the demon roaches face off against the evil incarnation of sprite comics in order to restore balance to the world of webcomics once and for all.

Great! But don't use spoiler packets unless necessary.

krossbow
2007-01-25, 09:13 PM
Elan becomes a blackguard!
________
Ford Cdw27 Platform Specifications (http://www.ford-wiki.com/wiki/Ford_CDW27_platform)

The Extinguisher
2007-01-25, 10:32 PM
Hey, PirateMonk, I'm all out of crazy ideas. Did you not read the battle of the bands idea? That kind of stupidity takes a lot out of you.

That being said, Elan is going to beat V at scrabble, (do to a fluke) which cause V to go crazy, and go on a muderous rampage throught Azure City, and move off into a hut in the middle of Someplace Else.

Setra
2007-01-25, 10:36 PM
Elan goes into a murderous rage because his diety tells him, and he actually beats Roy in a fight.

Amon Star
2007-01-26, 10:41 AM
No offense intended, but you sir, need to have a talk with the men in white coats.

None taken. And men in white coats did once come and have their 'special' talk with me on the nice leather coach. They ran away screaming. I've never worked out why.


Yeah, but what would V's mate think. It would be either "My wife's cheating on me with a evil halfling!" or "My husband 'switched teams' and is cheating on me with a evil halfling!" or "My...uh...umm. You know, I just realized even I don't know what sex Vaarsuvius is..."

ROTFL!!!

FullPlateJacket
2007-01-27, 04:11 PM
"Elan" is also the name of a race in the Expanded Psionics Handbook. Coincidence? I THINK NOT!

Ampersand
2007-01-27, 04:31 PM
"Rumors of My Death Have Been Greatly Exagerated"

After the battle of Azure City, Shojo reappears to the OotS, alive and completely well. He explains that his "death at the hands of Miko" was really an elaborate ploy to motivate the OotS in the fight...the real Miko had actually secretly arrived days earlier, and both Shojo and the "Miko" that killed him were cunning illusions from Eugene. Shojo's personal clerics were in on the scam, declaring him "dead" and preventing anyone from touching the "body" to confirm it. The real Miko and Hinjo may or may not have been in on it.

(And before anyone says it, since I know that being in the Miko Club I'll get this accusation, no this isn't wishful thinking...the point of this thread is absurdity, and that's the most absurd way I can think of the current plot line working out :smallsmile: )

The Familiar
2007-01-27, 04:42 PM
Blackwing is really an Epic-Level Wizard--and already possesses total arcane knowledge--who was cursed into animal form by the gods to keep him from passing on the secret of Doilies.

Grey Watcher
2007-01-27, 05:03 PM
My mother postulated the notion that Scruffy the Cat is actually Soon Kim, somehow restored to the mortal realm in this new form. Posession? Reincarnation? Who knows? It's spoooooooky!

Demented
2007-01-27, 05:57 PM
When Shojo was a small child, he used by his father and Soon Kim as the vessel for the summoning of powerful evil being whose might would be used to rid the world of all knowledge of the gates and then bind them through the power of the strongest planes of evil, so that no evil creature would dare attempt to use the gates, for fear of angering wicked and vengeful gods. But before the ritual could be accomplished, Soon died of a heart attack, leaving the vessel intact and the ritual incomplete.

By spilling Shojo's blood on the very throne in front of the oldest summoning circle in Azure City, Miko has unwittingly completed the ritual and summoned a great demon lord. Unfortunately, without the guiding will of Shojo or any of the other powerful rulers of the day, the demon lord will find his summoning was without purpose and he will promptly smite Azure city and its paladin army, only being stopped by Miko in a valiant last defense involving a catapult and a wooden alpaca ridden by an oversized leprechaun. The city, however, will be left bare to the approaching hobgoblin army, and Hinjo will be left with no choice but to flee with the OOTS to Girard's Gate in the narrow hope of stopping Xykon, whom has just acquired a brand spanking new army of zombies to rival his slightly depleted hobgoblin hordes.

Krimm_Blackleaf
2007-01-27, 08:24 PM
Banjo is an overdiety and master of the snarl, the attack on azure city will be demolished by the goblin armies in minutes, as was banjo's will. Xykon will free the snarl but every living thing there will die and banjo will ride the snarl through all of existance, doing away with it. And in it's place he alone will use the exausted body of the snarl to create a new universe, BANJONIA!

It's the only theory that makes ANY sense.

onikun86
2007-01-28, 05:17 AM
Reviving the thread!
Roy and Thog are actually half brothers seperated in their young childhoods, from alignment differences between their Father and Thog's orc mother.
Trigak, the chimera, comes back from the dead and grows a 4th head, changing his name to Quadgak.
Mr. Scruffy is the killer rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and kills Miko.
Redcloak is actually a hobgoblin.
The Monster in the Darkness is actually Oprah Winfry.
Xykon is only coming to Azure City because he dropped a quarter there. He needs the hobgoblin army's corpses as a ladder to climb the city's walls and get it.
V is actually from the Dragon Ball Z universe, and is a combination of a man and woman who put on the Potera Fusion earings.
Belkar is actually Doraemon.

Forget Red Mage, Xykon is actually Black Mage from 8-Bit Theatre.
It was Belkar who actually killed Dumbledore, Aeris, AND Kenny.
(references to: Harry Potter, FF7, South Park)

krossbow
2007-01-29, 03:56 PM
In an attempt to defeat the snarl, Elan and Nale yell for an hour and do DBZ fusion, increasing their power levels to 5 bajillion, which, not being a real number, is unsurpassable.

Geaine
2007-01-30, 01:58 PM
Here's a thought I've had for a bit.

Roy wears blue and with Shojo dead Azure City is leaderless. After dealing with Xykon Roy becomes King/Leader of Azure City. It is a fitting end for a warrior and is color coordinated:smallsmile:

TR4X0R
2007-01-30, 02:05 PM
The MitD is actually the lawyers.