A feast fit for a king

[Oko and Qailee]

So, in my current campaign, the some of the party is soon going to be attending a state dinner. This dinner is basically a celebratory event before a big political meeting between the kings of 3 different kingdoms. Two of the kings come from very (relatively) wealthy kingdoms and the dinner is happening at the capital of on of those kingdoms.

So naturally, the dinner is gong to be pretty upscale. The thing is, I'm not sure what all to serve at said dinner. I figure some real life expensive foods would fit, but I'd also like to go with some exotic dinner choices unique to DnD. At the same time I'd like to avoid serving intelligent creatures as dinner options, so like, no pheonix pate or pegasus flank.

So what kind of things to you guys bring out at fancy dinners for your DnD campaigns? I'd love to read some ideas.

[Ansem]

Dwarven bread, world hunger is solved.

[JoshuaZ]

There are a lot of int 1 or int 2 exotic creatures. Basilisk steak might be interesting, and they aren't any smarter than most creatures eatien normally.

[Deca4531]

normaly i pull out the dice and roll for a random creature, then roll again for what part of the creature gets served up. and since the rich and powerful are all about "rare dishes" it kinda works out. Dire Bear Tongue? Grilled Troll ears? kraken egg caviar?

[DeltaEmil]

Heroes' Feast.

Seems to be most fitting for a grand dinner made by a wealthy kingdom, if they have several grand priests creating heroes' feast.

Especially if it is cast in front of the guests, so that they can be sure that there is no poison being mixed in.

[Logic]

I think that this (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antelope) could be a good choice for an exotic main course.

[Red Fel]

Sadly, none of my groups got invited to nice parties. Something to do with being an unstable pack of rampaging murderhobos, I suppose.

That said, you could pick up just about any Brian Jacques book for an excellent and detailed description of a feast. Nearly every Redwall book had at least one outrageously lavish dinner scene, with detailed descriptions of each dish. (As I recall, there was even a Redwall cookbook).

Depending on the scale of the event, number of guests and such, you may need more dishes, but traditionally a good Ye Olde Feaste would include:

- A massive animal, cooked whole, such as a boar, stag, or similar beast which not only acts as a meal in and of itself, but as a symbol of conquest over a dangerous, wild creature
- Exotic imported delicacies, such as rare foreign fruits or strange insects or invertebrates
- Salad, because salad
- Booze, because booze
- A soup

So, let's say you're setting a table for twelve. You might want:
- A whole boar, complete with apple, in a maple glaze, roasted to a golden brown with a sweet aroma, on a bed of fresh greens
- Figs, dates, and sweet plums from a friendly desert nation (bonus points if a diplomat from that nation is present)
- Fried squid, a recipe the chef learned from a visiting noble from a friendly island nation for which the queen developed a fondness
- Either a thick, creamy soup, like a bisque, or a thin broth, like a beef stew or sharkfin soup
- Salad
- Elven wine, because wine and elves go together like peanut butter and chocolate; make it a chilled dessert wine, probably white, with a citrus flavor
- Dwarven ale, because ale and feasts go together like ale and dwarves, a thick, hearty brown stout that's as filling as a loaf of bread (roll Fort, everyone!)
- Maybe a red wine, because that's apparently a thing fancy people drink; perhaps a deep crimson cabernet with elements of honey and an oak-y taste

More guests would mean larger portions and more selection.

[Oko and Qailee]

Heroes' Feast.

Seems to be most fitting for a grand dinner made by a wealthy kingdom, if they have several grand priests creating heroes' feast.

Especially if it is cast in front of the guests, so that they can be sure that there is no poison being mixed in.

I thought about it, but decided that I also wanted to be more descriptive and stuff. I really like world building, sometimes I do it a bit too much.

Someone mentioned basilisk steak, that sounds awesome. I could do a mix between heroes feast/exotic creature/real life food (so it's a bit more relatable to the players)

[Oko and Qailee]

The other thing about Heroes feast is, if its interrupted at all, everything just kind of disappears.

[Pickford]

Sadly, none of my groups got invited to nice parties. Something to do with being an unstable pack of rampaging murderhobos, I suppose.

That said, you could pick up just about any Brian Jacques book for an excellent and detailed description of a feast. Nearly every Redwall book had at least one outrageously lavish dinner scene, with detailed descriptions of each dish. (As I recall, there was even a Redwall cookbook).

Depending on the scale of the event, number of guests and such, you may need more dishes, but traditionally a good Ye Olde Feaste would include:

- A massive animal, cooked whole, such as a boar, stag, or similar beast which not only acts as a meal in and of itself, but as a symbol of conquest over a dangerous, wild creature
- Exotic imported delicacies, such as rare foreign fruits or strange insects or invertebrates
- Salad, because salad
- Booze, because booze
- A soup

So, let's say you're setting a table for twelve. You might want:
- A whole boar, complete with apple, in a maple glaze, roasted to a golden brown with a sweet aroma, on a bed of fresh greens
- Figs, dates, and sweet plums from a friendly desert nation (bonus points if a diplomat from that nation is present)
- Fried squid, a recipe the chef learned from a visiting noble from a friendly island nation for which the queen developed a fondness
- Either a thick, creamy soup, like a bisque, or a thin broth, like a beef stew or sharkfin soup
- Salad
- Elven wine, because wine and elves go together like peanut butter and chocolate; make it a chilled dessert wine, probably white, with a citrus flavor
- Dwarven ale, because ale and feasts go together like ale and dwarves, a thick, hearty brown stout that's as filling as a loaf of bread (roll Fort, everyone!)
- Maybe a red wine, because that's apparently a thing fancy people drink; perhaps a deep crimson cabernet with elements of honey and an oak-y taste

More guests would mean larger portions and more selection.

I like your ability to describe food. Skip the honey in the red wine though, that taste does not mix.

[Red Fel]

I like your ability to describe food. Skip the honey in the red wine though, that taste does not mix.

Sorry, you're right. Honey mead, though, might be nice.

Perhaps an "exotic" wine, like plum or rice.

Admittedly, my knowledge of the finer boozahols is limited, but you could always go to any oenophile website to learn lots of useful ingredients and descriptors. You could sound like a pretentious wino in no time!

[JaronK]

Arms and Equipment Guide has special alcohols with a variety of potent and interesting effects. I'd look there for some basic starters.

Also, this is a world with magic. Use it! Prestidigitation can change the flavors of food... perhaps for fun, the magical chef serves foods that taste like other foods.

JaronK

[Gemini476]

For starters, read some Game of Thrones and Redwall. Bunches of good descriptions of food in there.

For drink, ale. Ale and wine, with the children drinking the former. Spiced and heated wine are also options, as is mead. Nobody drinks water unless they feel like reenacting Oregon Trail II: Dysentery Boogaloo.

Roasted boar, roasted dire boar, perhaps roasted horse depending on the setting. Beds of onions, vegetables, small amounts of fruit and nuts.

Fish, if you want to go all medieval "only fish on the sabbath": Pike, Trout, Eel, Beaver, Salmon, Otter, Duck and similar aquatic fauna.

Spices! So many spices. Historically, this masked the taste of spoiled or stale food. Lots of pepper, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and maybe a pinch of saffron if you're feeling decadent.

If you want suggestions for actual meals, well, I found this little paragraph on Google:

Dishes could be either simple or complicated. Roast boar crusted in mustard – pickled lampreys – buttered crabs on a bed of smoked eels – calves’ testicles filled with onion, minced lambs’ kidneys and nutmeg – capon studded with cloves and served on salad greens, clams and beans – a galantine of three dark meats in aspic – baked pike in burned cream – larks bound in leeks in a red wine sauce - boiled tripe and sweated onions – stewed rabbit in a pastry pie. Well it goes on and on – both the amazing and the horrifying.

For a more classic dish, considering baking live blackbirds into a pie. The king slices it open, and whoosh they all fly out!

Oh, and going by that same page I found:

For feasts in grand houses, three courses were normally served (there could be more) but each course was comprised of many separate dishes. Depending on how lavish the host wished to appear, twenty or more different platters might be set across the table for each course. And even more confusing to us, each of these courses could include both sweets and savouries. Custards, spit-roast apples, creamed almonds with marzipan berries, jellies, tarts and fruity dumplings in syrup could be served right amongst the roast meats, stews, meat pies and fish.

The third and last course, however, often contained only wafers and a huge sugar sculpture, known as a subtlety. This could be amazing and a chef could boost his reputation by producing something to make the guests gasp. For Christmas celebrations a whole nativity scene might be carved from sugar loaves. Swans, peacocks, angels, crowns, palaces and many other gorgeously elegant and fragile creations made of nothing but sugar, would be carried out to the table by the chef and his assistants, greeted by clapping and cheers. All in all, not a particularly healthy diet but not, perhaps, as pernicious as English eating habits became over the following centuries.


You have a lot of freedom to choose what you want, of course. It's not like D&D isn't already filled with anacronisms - just look at the existence of full plate! That's gunpowder era stuff. And, of course, customs changed a lot during the half-a-millenium the Dark Ages lasted. Take inspiration from history, but don't feel shackled by it.

Oh, and also? Stuffed and roasted giant squid, the tentacles spreading out among the tabletop. You know they'd eat it. Oh, and you didn't grab the food yourself: you had servants who passed all the plates around, and a person who tasted the food before the King ate it. Can't have anyone poisoning him, can we?

[Red Fel]

Awesome details, Gemini. I completely agree. The foods should be lavish, over the top, and sprawling all over the table. Good cultural points with regard to being served. Never forget the value of describing the help, OP.

Another cultural point, don't be afraid to eat with your hands. Modern table manners are modern. You may have a finger bowl to clean your hands from the mess, so don't be afraid to make one! (A mess, not a finger bowl.)

And another side note: clink goblets! It's a socially acceptable way of saying, "No, I didn't poison your drink, because if I did, mine would be poisoned now as well!"

And then make sure you have antitoxin on hand.

Because you totally poisoned his drink.

[Karoht]

Iron Rations + Prestidigitation. Because if you can't solve a problem with Prestidigitation, you aren't trying hard enough.

Take the Iron Rations and turn them into a thick paste using a bit of water and a grinder or mortar and pestle. Preferably something one can sculpt with. Heavy mashed potatoes is the consistancy you are going for.

Shape the paste as necessary.
Have several low level casters on hand to cast prestidigitation. Some for flavor and some for appearance.
The casters need to be able to make a perform check to pull off the role of personal chefs, or have Profession: Chef.
And of course, they need to be dressed as proper personal chefs.

Other than that, I would wiki medieval feasts and see what you find.

[Oko and Qailee]

Wow, Red Fel awesome on the details.

JaronK, I'll take a look.

Gemeni, same, awesome on details.

[Emperor Tippy]

Enchanted food.

We aren't serving you a wine. We are serving you the Wine of Heavenly Words which makes whoever drink it seem to speak with the beauty and eloquence of heaven.

It's a re-purposed tome of +1 charisma and it only costs 27,500 GP per glass.

Just make all of the food enchanted items that provide temporary or permanent bonuses.

Nothing quite like having a banquet where the food spread has a price tag in the millions of GP.

[Oko and Qailee]

Awesome details, Gemini. I completely agree. The foods should be lavish, over the top, and sprawling all over the table. Good cultural points with regard to being served. Never forget the value of describing the help, OP.
.

I'm thinking something like this:
1) Start with fine wines (going to check JaronK suggestion) and an appetizer that is relatable to real life (to give the players a sense of the worth of this dinner). See: Zillion dollar Frittata http://most-expensive.com/foods

2) Start with a first course, this will be an extensively spiced some sort of mythical beast with several smaller plates of seafoods/fruits.

3) Main course, this is where I'd bring in the heavily spiced, full roast *insert something large here*. More plates of various fantasy only things will be passed around. This is when the less finer-alcohols would be brought out (ales, etc)

4) desert???

abut the clinking goblets and stuff, I imagine that to fall more into character management, I'm trying to first set up my feast. There's a lot of cool things mentioned in this thread.

[Gemini476]

Awesome details, Gemini. I completely agree. The foods should be lavish, over the top, and sprawling all over the table. Good cultural points with regard to being served. Never forget the value of describing the help, OP.

Another cultural point, don't be afraid to eat with your hands. Modern table manners are modern. You may have a finger bowl to clean your hands from the mess, so don't be afraid to make one! (A mess, not a finger bowl.)

And another side note: clink goblets! It's a socially acceptable way of saying, "No, I didn't poison your drink, because if I did, mine would be poisoned now as well!"

And then make sure you have antitoxin on hand.

Because you totally poisoned his drink.

Believe it or not, but forks were seen as something horrible and foreign before it was properly introduced. I think the returning crusaders brought them back, but I'm not too sure.

Oh, and apparently people weren't that sloppy? They had huge napkins over their shoulders that they'd wipe their hand on after handling food, although they didn't always need to use their hands when a good ol' knife does the job. Practical tool, that.

Oh, and there are so many ridiculous reasons for all these things! Knifes on the right-hand side of the plate, edge pointing inwards, shake hands to show you aren't holding a weapon, bow to show subservience, 'cause they get a good shot at your neck that way...

Yeeeaaah.

Oh, and have you ever read that thread with the city built around the Tarrasque? I can imagine that that meat would be seen as a rare delicacy.
Oh, and That Damn Crab. Boil 'em up in the biggest pot you've got, serve it round.
Although on a second thought aren't herbivores generally better eatin' than carnivores? Richer meat or something like that. So skip the immortal dinosaur and go for a big literal Flintstone Steak. Brontoburgers ahoy.

[Red Fel]

Although on a second thought aren't herbivores generally better eatin' than carnivores? Richer meat or something like that. So skip the immortal dinosaur and go for a big literal Flintstone Steak. Brontoburgers ahoy.

When it comes to meat, the real pleasure apparently comes from the marbling - that is, the ribbons of high concentrations of fat running through the meat. (I'm not as big a fan, but I'm told it's a mark of quality.) It's why, on a cow for example, the "best quality" cuts are the ones furthest away from the legs. Muscle meat is tougher, you see, so the further you get from the limbs, the less muscle and more tender fat you have.

The reason carnivores might not be as appealing as herbivores is that carnivores, as hunters, have to be lean and muscular to stalk, pursue and subdue their prey. Herbivores, by contrast (such as the aforementioned cow) can basically just sit in one place, munching and fattening and waiting to be devoured. So while carnivores will have mostly tough meat, herbivores are likely to have lots of tender, delicious fat.

On the other hand, feasts were also status symbols, so having a deadly predator on the table, while not considered a quality meal, may nonetheless prove an exceptional symbol of strength and authority. "Yes, Sir Reginald and I bested this beast last week on a hunting trip. Didn't we, Reggie? Put up a nasty fight. Ate several of the servants. Rather messy affair. But we put him to rights, didn't we?"

So, yeah. Make sure your meet is fatty, and describe the marbling.

[Oko and Qailee]

When it comes to meat, the real pleasure apparently comes from the marbling - that is, the ribbons of high concentrations of fat running through the meat. (I'm not as big a fan, but I'm told it's a mark of quality.) It's why, on a cow for example, the "best quality" cuts are the ones furthest away from the legs. Muscle meat is tougher, you see, so the further you get from the limbs, the less muscle and more tender fat you have.
.

This is true, its also why things like Kobe and Wagyu steak is so expensive, they even tailor the cows entire diet into being fattier.

[Oko and Qailee]

Enchanted food.

We aren't serving you a wine. We are serving you the Wine of Heavenly Words which makes whoever drink it seem to speak with the beauty and eloquence of heaven.

It's a re-purposed tome of +1 charisma and it only costs 27,500 GP per glass.

Just make all of the food enchanted items that provide temporary or permanent bonuses.

Nothing quite like having a banquet where the food spread has a price tag in the millions of GP.

Isn't this past the wealth of most cities though?

[Pickford]

Arms and Equipment Guide has special alcohols with a variety of potent and interesting effects. I'd look there for some basic starters.

Also, this is a world with magic. Use it! Prestidigitation can change the flavors of food... perhaps for fun, the magical chef serves foods that taste like other foods.

JaronK

byodps (bring your own delay poison spell)

[Sith_Happens]

The other thing about Heroes feast is, if its interrupted at all, everything just kind of disappears.

It would also likely be seen by the guests as a cop-out. Sure, spamming Heroes' Feast shows you have a lot of money to pay high level casters and/or buy Horns of Plenty, but no one's going to be impressed by a meal that precisely zero real effort went into creating.


Enchanted food.

We aren't serving you a wine. We are serving you the Wine of Heavenly Words which makes whoever drink it seem to speak with the beauty and eloquence of heaven.

It's a re-purposed tome of +1 charisma and it only costs 27,500 GP per glass.

But then it would take a week to drink.:smalltongue:

[Idhan]

You could go for a Trimalchio's Feast-style maximum opulence thing, but you might also consider using the feast to demonstrate things about the kingdoms or the specific high officials involved.

What if you have military attaché from one kingdom openly talking about how great the food from another kingdom is, but later you catch him when he thinks he's alone with his valet, and he's talking about how everything is oversalted and disgusting?

What if one of the kings has recently converted to a new religion with dietary restrictions, like vegetarianism or no pork or something, and when he refuses to eat dishes, some members of the court hosting the event take it as an insult to their hospitality?

What if the host kingdom employs a goblin in the kitchen washing dishes or something, and people from another kingdom refuse to eat off of dishes that have even been touched by a goblin, and when they find out, they find it offensive and disgusting that a goblin was involved in handling their tableware?

[Emperor Tippy]

But then it would take a week to drink.:smalltongue:

Well it is a feast, what did you take us for, plebeians? *shakes head sadly at the little man who thinks that a feast takes less than a week* :smalltongue:


Isn't this past the wealth of most cities though?

That's kinda the point. It's a show of the King (and Kingdoms) wealth and power. It's saying "we can afford to blow enough money for a first rate castle on a single meal, what do you think we would spend in the face of a matter of real importance such as a war?"

[Red Fel]

Well it is a feast, what did you take us for, plebeians? *shakes head sadly at the little man who thinks that a feast takes less than a week* :smalltongue:



That's kinda the point. It's a show of the King (and Kingdoms) wealth and power. It's saying "we can afford to blow enough money for a first rate castle on a single meal, what do you think we would spend in the face of a matter of real importance such as a war?"

Admittedly, that's the fine line between "feast" and "festival", and it is a fine one.

A feast for a big bunch of guests takes a lot of work, even nowadays; in medieval times it could take weeks of preparation. Accordingly, don't be afraid to go from feast to festival, from an evening's repast to a week of food, frolic, festivities, and word-for-alcohol-starting-with-f. If this is a true celebration, as opposed to just an evening to show off for the guests, let the nobility show off with an outrageous display of wealth and frivolity that not only lasts into the night, but into the next day! ... and the next day, and the next...

Nothing says "mission accomplished" like a week of eating, drinking, and watching heavily armored men knock each other off of horses.

[Oko and Qailee]

A feast for a big bunch of guests takes a lot of work, even nowadays; in medieval times it could take weeks of preparation. Accordingly, don't be afraid to go from feast to festival, from an evening's repast to a week of food, frolic, festivities, and word-for-alcohol-starting-with-f. If this is a true celebration, as opposed to just an evening to show off for the guests, let the nobility show off with an outrageous display of wealth and frivolity that not only lasts into the night, but into the next day! ... and the next day, and the next...


Well, it actually is a multi day event. I was just curious about the dinner. But, for example, the next day will begin a festival in the streets and the following night will have a nobility-only party/social event in the castle (which, ofc, the party wants to break into, they even already bought their expensive evening wear)

[Red Fel]

Well, it actually is a multi day event. I was just curious about the dinner. But, for example, the next day will begin a festival in the streets and the following night will have a nobility-only party/social event in the castle (which, ofc, the party wants to break into, they even already bought their expensive evening wear)

If there will be multiple dinners, consider going with themes for each.

For instance, one might feature dishes from the nearby forest. Assorted local fruits, such as apples or berries, along with a boar or stag, some locally-harvested grains and vegetables, complemented by local beers and brews.

Another night might feature treats from the mountains, such as roasted goat, maybe dragonflesh as a rare and exotic treat; more rugged fruits such as high-altitude grapes or cavern mushrooms, and perhaps some dwarven ales and meads.

Yet another might be more exotic. You could have an evening of the bounties of the sea, sharkfin soup, roasted squid or eel, perhaps various rice dishes wrapped in seaweed (you don't have to call it sushi), and wines made from island fruits, perhaps flavored with banana or coconut. Or perhaps the fruits of the desert, like the aforementioned figs and dates, perhaps with some sand-creatures such as a snake flambee, roasted scarabs-in-shells, and so forth, and don't forget that beer can be found even in desert nations.

In the alternative, consider a seasonal theme. For an autumn or winter festival, you'll want lots of hot foods. Plenty of meat and soup dishes, with savory and powerful spices like red pepper, chili powder, masala seasoning, or cinnamon, sugar, and other sweets. For autumn in particular, a harvest is a popular theme, so plenty of grain-based dishes, breads and cereals (not like breakfast cereal, but like an oatmeal, porridge or even a granola). For spring or summer, you'll want cooler, sweet tastes, like fruits, chilled wines, cheeses and yogurts, and lighter meals such as rices and salads.

[Sith_Happens]

Oh, I'm going to second dinosaur meat. Because who doesn't want a triceratops fillet?

[JaronK]

Actually, muscle heavy creatures are likely tough. Predators are worse... cat meat is notoriously not very tasty.

The good meats wouldn't be the exotic giant muscular monstrosities... they'd be things like bred cattle, where a farmer keeps them nice and fat and not muscle filled. Either that, or babies of the species.

JaronK

[Yuki Akuma]

The point of eating exotic creatures isn't for the flavour of the meat (although I'm sure magical beasts taste different from regular animals, regardless).

The point of eating exotic creatures is you're totally eating an exotic creature, guys.

Although I could see some people getting upset at the idea of eating dragon. Those are sapient, after all.

[Gemini476]

The point of eating exotic creatures isn't for the flavour of the meat (although I'm sure magical beasts taste different from regular animals, regardless).

The point of eating exotic creatures is you're totally eating an exotic creature, guys.

Although I could see some people getting upset at the idea of eating dragon. Those are sapient, after all.

Hey, they did it first.

[Red Fel]

Although I could see some people getting upset at the idea of eating dragon. Those are sapient, after all.

Not this one. He took class levels in Truenamer. Dig in!

[Oko and Qailee]

The point of eating exotic creatures isn't for the flavour of the meat (although I'm sure magical beasts taste different from regular animals, regardless).

The point of eating exotic creatures is you're totally eating an exotic creature, guys.

Although I could see some people getting upset at the idea of eating dragon. Those are sapient, after all.

Just do int dmg to it until it has an Int of 1, then it's ok!

[Oko and Qailee]

Actually, muscle heavy creatures are likely tough. Predators are worse... cat meat is notoriously not very tasty.


I mean, caviar isn't really exceptional tasting, and a lot of really expensive stuff isn't any more tasty than skittles

http://most-expensive.com/foods

Like, I'd probably rather have skittles than $25,000 caviar.

[Idhan]

Although I could see some people getting upset at the idea of eating dragon. Those are sapient, after all.

Heck. Some people are upset at the idea of eating regular birds (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0564.html).

[Logic]

Enchanted food.

We aren't serving you a wine. We are serving you the Wine of Heavenly Words which makes whoever drink it seem to speak with the beauty and eloquence of heaven.

It's a re-purposed tome of +1 charisma and it only costs 27,500 GP per glass.

Just make all of the food enchanted items that provide temporary or permanent bonuses.

Nothing quite like having a banquet where the food spread has a price tag in the millions of GP.
Two questions:
Wouldn't it be permanent if it's a re-purposed Tome of Charisma? Wouldn't a re-purposed Potion of Eagle's Splendor work better?

[Emperor Tippy]

Two questions:
Wouldn't it be permanent if it's a re-purposed Tome of Charisma?
Yes, which is why it is 30 to 120 thousand per glass.


Wouldn't a re-purposed Potion of Eagle's Splendor work better?
For commoners maybe, that's only 300 GP a glass and only lasts a few minutes. Certainly not wine fit for a king. :smallwink:

[Oko and Qailee]

For commoners maybe, that's only 300 GP a glass and only lasts a few minutes. Certainly not wine fit for a king. :smallwink:

I laughed at this.

Man Tippy has such a good attitude for this.

[Oko and Qailee]

Yes, which is why it is 30 to 120 thousand per glass.


Also, Tippy, invite me to a dinner party at your house one day please.

[BWR]

This (http://www.innatthecrossroads.com/)site might help.