Walking Techbane in the Playground

[golentan]

For those of us who have a little extra trouble with modern technology. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WalkingTechbane)

I don't claim to be bad with technology, but often it doesn't play nice with me. More so under certain mental conditions. I know my way around a computer, I can fix a sonic scrubber that nobody else knows how to deal with in my lab, and I generally have a pretty good working knowledge of the things I deal with in my day to day life.

Then, all hell breaks loose. Last night, when I walked into the room, my lamp flickered and died. I went to get a replacement lightbulb, and when I moved half a dozen feet from my lamp it flared back to life. When I got closer, it died for good. The brand new replacement bulb has so far failed to function, but nothing seems to be wrong with the lamp itself or the power source.

Today, everything I do on computers locked me out. I lost access to my backup harddrive for no apparent reason, youtube stopped functioning mysteriously, and my school's computer system froze my account and it had to be reset by an admin.

Power cables shred around me and expose their wiring spontaneously. I have never had a pair of headphones survive more than a month and a half. "Waterproof to 50 meters" watches fill with fluid when I take a shower. The payment machine in my apartment's laundry crashed so hard the last time I used it that it's still out of action weeks later despite several repair crews having at it. My turn signal in my last car would speed up and slow down randomly. And, on one infamous night, every streetlamp I walked by blew out exactly as I walked under it.

So, playground, does anyone else have similar problems? Not of technology that you don't know how to work, but technology that fails catastrophically in your presence in spite of everything? Share your entertaining stories of disaster!

[Palanan]

Originally Posted by golentan
And, on one infamous night, every streetlamp I walked by blew out exactly as I walked under it.

In other words, you're a walking deluminator. Well done that man.

:smalltongue:

.

[inexorabletruth]

You are so cool and I want videos of this. Maybe even a comic about it.

I have a techbane power, but not as awesome as yours. My bones have a magnetic property that slowly wears away at anything electronic. I can't wear watches, nor can I touch computer components directly. Cell phone batteries die quicker if I keep the phone in my pocket or in my hand for long periods of time. So far, I haven't noticed issues with computers as long as I don't allow myself to come in contact with the inner components. But I've had troubles with some external hard drives before. I can't spontaneously destroy technology, but I can make it age quickly... kind of like a decay or wilt effect, I suppose.

[Hiro Protagonest]

Maybe even a comic about it.

Does Sequential Art count?

Granted, the techbane thing doesn't come up until about halfway through, and it kinda gets lost in all the other crazy stuff.

[noparlpf]

I've had bad tech days. I think one time I crashed two computers and a Blu-ray player in one day.

[inexorabletruth]

Does Sequential Art count?

Granted, the techbane thing doesn't come up until about halfway through, and it kinda gets lost in all the other crazy stuff.

I'll look into it.

[Moriwen]

I tell people not to let me touch their expensive technology because I have Fingers of Death and Computer Viruses. Every computer I use promptly fails in a new and exciting way (to the point that computer experts stare at them and say "what did you do?")

I had one computer only work if its battery was taken out. The next one was a laptop, and the keys started only registering if punched with my full strength. The one after that, the screen would go black a couple of times a minute, at random intervals, and would only turn back on if I pressed the space key (not any other key, not moving the mouse, just the space key). One started beeping at incredible volume, despite the sound being muted, and wouldn't stop. The list goes on.

Wifi in particular hates me -- it'll fail to let me connect despite everyone else being able to; it'll only work if someone else takes my computer and clicks the button to connect; it'll tell me it's got full connection and then fail to actually work even a little bit; it'll only work in literally a square foot of area in my entire room. My favorite is when it'll connect at full bars and let me open pages for a couple of seconds (the same amount of time each time) and then give me the "cannot connect" message. And repeat this sequence every time I try to connect -- so I can open pages, as long as I don't mind telling my computer to connect again every few seconds.


The generalized techbane power is still awesomer, though! You could have a super-cool character with that as their power. I second the comic idea!

[golentan]

I tell people not to let me touch their expensive technology because I have Fingers of Death and Computer Viruses. Every computer I use promptly fails in a new and exciting way (to the point that computer experts stare at them and say "what did you do?")

I had one computer only work if its battery was taken out. The next one was a laptop, and the keys started only registering if punched with my full strength. The one after that, the screen would go black a couple of times a minute, at random intervals, and would only turn back on if I pressed the space key (not any other key, not moving the mouse, just the space key). One started beeping at incredible volume, despite the sound being muted, and wouldn't stop. The list goes on.

Wifi in particular hates me -- it'll fail to let me connect despite everyone else being able to; it'll only work if someone else takes my computer and clicks the button to connect; it'll tell me it's got full connection and then fail to actually work even a little bit; it'll only work in literally a square foot of area in my entire room. My favorite is when it'll connect at full bars and let me open pages for a couple of seconds (the same amount of time each time) and then give me the "cannot connect" message. And repeat this sequence every time I try to connect -- so I can open pages, as long as I don't mind telling my computer to connect again every few seconds.


The generalized techbane power is still awesomer, though! You could have a super-cool character with that as their power. I second the comic idea!

Wow. Yours is particularly impressive...

[Amidus Drexel]

I've got no such techbane powers myself; things normally work for me even when they probably ought not to. (I get a good wifi signal in places where the signal is normally absolutely horrible or nonexistent, for example)


-snip-

The generalized techbane power is still awesomer, though! You could have a super-cool character with that as their power. I second the comic idea!

How do you post?

[Milo v3]

The electromagnetic field my body generates is apparently stronger than it should be or something. At first the only problem was that I can never wear digital watches and I set of those shoplifting detector things in shops about 75% of the time (It didn't happen today though, which was soo good) but it's gotten to the stage things like some fans just don't work around me.