Celestial Toad Familiar

[GoblinGilmartin]

Why are there not more jokes about this? I was building a 3rd level wizard for a new 3.5 game, and I was trying to decide on the familiar. I wanted something different, and I saw the toad. Looking up Toad in my Monster Manual, I quickly realized they are the most worthless thing EVER. No wonder Neville wasn't too thrilled about Trevor, the thing is useless, except for maybe recon given it's +21 to Hide checks, but even then, you'd be sitting around waiting forever thanks to it's one square per round movement. It doesn't have any attacks, and so what I did was I took improved familiar and got a Celestial Toad. Every bit as useless, except now it can SMITE EVIL. His name is Ozymandius.

[Jay R]

Can people actually say the phrase "Celestial Toad" with a straight face? It's right up there with "Dire Sloth" or "Acid-breathing Shark"

[CyberThread]

not one of the wierder things, we have Lion Wheels, and color blind wolves

http://www.headinjurytheater.com/images/d&d%20beasts%20%20senmurv%20gay%20pride.jpg

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/dnd/mauler.jpg

[Helcack]

not one of the wierder things, we have Lion Wheels, and color blind wolves

http://www.headinjurytheater.com/images/d&d%20beasts%20%20senmurv%20gay%20pride.jpg

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/dnd/mauler.jpg

That's what happens when you mix mythology and drugs

I had a celestial armadillo who could cast lesser lightning orb at will, so no harm in a celestial toad. Remember that it can grapple people, and if you are a gish have your toad pin that commoner who's wife you stole for your own as you walk away slowly whilst carrying her into the sunset.

[CyberThread]

<-< I had a fiendish hedgehog that could cast haste at will ;)

[ArcturusV]

Forgot that you can use your Toad to give people warts. :smallwink: Hey, why not? Half the fun of familiars is thinking outside of the simple things of pure stat bonuses and realizing you got another character with all that implies.

>.> And asking a DM what the incubation period and Save DCs for Celestial Warts is just good times all around. Plus just fun to do to some annoying NPC.

"Go Warble the Heaven Toad, rub against that guy's face and neck and give him warts!"

.... is not something I would do... nope... <.<

[Ravens_cry]

<-< I had a fiendish hedgehog that could cast haste at will ;)
Please tell me he was coloured blue.

[CyberThread]

gotta go fast!

[The Viscount]

I'm glad other people appreciate the inherent hilarity of the toad. One thing that always got me:

Upon or after reaching 5th level, a blackguard can call a fiendish bat, cat, dire rat, horse, pony, raven, or toad to serve him.

A blackguard can be aided in his evil schemes by a fiendish toad. That just kills me.

[Invader]

Don't todds give a +2 Con bonus or was that an older version?

[nedz]

Well it could be a Cane toad or something. Perhaps it exudes a poison you could use, though this reminds me of the Celestial Rat with Golden Lice.

I did make a Celestial Mule called Muffin once. He had a single level of Sorcerer.

[Blackjackg]

Don't todds give a +2 Con bonus or was that an older version?

Nah, they just give you +3 hit points.

[deuxhero]

not one of the wierder things, we have Lion Wheels
You insulting the president of hell?


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d5/Buer.gif

Amusingly enough for the original topic of discussion, Buer gives "good familiars" to conjurers.

[GoblinGilmartin]

Someone said I could use the toad to grapple? Not with a -17 to it.

[The Viscount]

You insulting the president of hell?


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d5/Buer.gif

Amusingly enough for the original topic of discussion, Buer gives "good familiars" to conjurers.


Hell has a president, too? Man, those devils love their bureaucracy!

On a separate note, please explain what you mean by Buer giving good familiars to conjurers.

[Equinox]

In 3.0, Toad was like the best familiar ever, that +2 Con doesn't grow on trees you know. In 3.5, nerfed to +3 hp, it's pretty meh.


Why are there not more jokes about this?
I had a player once who fluffed the +3 hp as having to constantly lick his toad to gain ... nutrition, I guess. It was pretty gross, but he didn't stay with the group for too long.

[Pesimismrocks]

When a celestial toad smiles evil, it does 3 less damage then it would normally do. That is the best waste of a feat ever :smallbiggrin:

[deuxhero]

Hell has a president, too? Man, those devils love their bureaucracy!

On a separate note, please explain what you mean by Buer giving good familiars to conjurers.

He's a demon from the Lesser Key of Solomon, an (in)famous Grimoire where pop-culture derives most of its named demons that aren't Satan from. It has him as a "president" of hell who can give good familiars to the person who conjurers him.

[The Viscount]

When a celestial toad smiles evil, it does 3 less damage then it would normally do. That is the best waste of a feat ever :smallbiggrin:

What does it smite with?

[CyberThread]

Actually, the president, has nothing to do with rules in hell. That would be the prime minister of hell that covers it.

[Chronos]

Yeah, most of the Tome of Magic vestiges (and their seals, and some of their powers) come from medieval books of magic. Which means that yes, there really are people out there with imaginations more twisted than Wizards of the Coast's, and have been for a long time.

[The Viscount]

Most of them come from the same one, actually. My brain was stuck in binder mode there, I was too busy thinking "but wait, Zcercyll gives you summons." Thanks for the clarification, deuxhero.

It's always odd when a vestige changed gender in the conversion.

[Dessembrae]

Can people actually say the phrase "Celestial Toad" with a straight face? It's right up there with "Dire Sloth" or "Acid-breathing Shark"

"Dire Sloth" makes me think of Megatherium. They were about the size of elephants. Wouldn't wanna mess with one.

[nedz]

"Dire Sloth" makes me think of Megatherium. They were about the size of elephants. Wouldn't wanna mess with one.

No they were huge, and probably not sloth like in behaviour — just related.

[hamishspence]

Megatherium was also statted for 3.0/3.5 in Fiend Folio.

I think MM2 had a large, predatory, but still semi-arboreal Forest Sloth.

[Chronos]

It pales in comparison to the Celestial Tree Sloth (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0805.html), though.