View Full Version : The most funny premade magical item you have seen in a book
CyberThread
2013-10-18, 12:02 AM
So rules on this is PREMADE , or things that are in actually books. Not homebrew stuff or custom magic items
For my most funny Item, I think am going to have to use the , Windrunner’s Shirt, from stormwrack.
Basically, you throw your arms out wide, and your mithrial armor suddenly sprouts sails for armpits, and you can go 90ft per turn over water, for an hour max, and as often as you like as long as you stay within an hour.
Oxydeur
2013-10-18, 03:09 AM
Gray Bag of tricks (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/wondrousItems.htm#bagofTricks). 10 rodent per week ! Hoorray !
shaikujin
2013-10-18, 07:39 AM
Some of the items that I will forever remember from AD&D Magica Encyclopaedia,
1) Violin of Violence
2) Awful Awl
3) Sock of Fat Elf summoning (Summons santa-like elf)
4) Chainsword (famed for a shocking event at a certain crossroad where a lot of people were killed. Event is known as Nexus Chainsword Massacre)
5) An item that summons mini-onions. With the fluff explaining that "minions" is often mis-spelt.
Some of the items that I will forever remember from AD&D Magica Encyclopaedia,
1) Violin of Violence
2) Awful Awl
3) Sock of Fat Elf summoning (Summons santa-like elf)
4) Chainsword (famed for a shocking event at a certain crossroad where a lot of people were killed. Event is known as Nexus Chainsword Massacre)
5) An item that summons mini-onions. With the fluff explaining that "minions" is often mis-spelt.
Reminds me of the Babette Maelstrom from the Encyclopedia Magica from AD&D.
Included a line that said something to the extent of "Do not give this item to players, it is merely here for the sake of completeness."
Phelix-Mu
2013-10-18, 07:57 AM
Oh, Encyclopedia Magica. Those were awesome books. Some of the items weren't totally worthless. I did like the one, already mentioned, that let you send a fireball that dealt like 50d6 damage to anyone located on the same continent or something. Now that is awesome in the hands of the BBEG.:smallwink:
Cleric: "I pray and prepare my spells."
Rogue: "I train in pickpocketing."
DM: "You better finish preparing those spells, cleric. The rogue just took 150 damage from what appeared to be a falling meteor."
Ah, good times.
Wasn't there one, the fork of horrid horripilation or something? Definitely wins for cool name in my book. I think it was a tuning fork that made a scary or unsettling noise or something.
Gray Bag of tricks (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/wondrousItems.htm#bagofTricks). 10 rodent per week ! Hoorray !
But, 10% chance of Badgers. Awesome !
FullStop
2013-10-18, 07:57 AM
Gray Bag of tricks (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/wondrousItems.htm#bagofTricks). 10 rodent per week ! Hoorray !
I significantly prefer the tan bag of tricks, both for usefulness and humor value. You can be all throwing bears at people! Just recently, because our DM ruled that yes it sure did totally work that way, we assassinated a man by feeding him a (not-yet-active-and-still-a-tiny-fluffball) bear. The session only got more ridiculous from there.
Phelix-Mu
2013-10-18, 07:59 AM
But, 10% chance of Badgers. Awesome !
Psst. Secret 1% chance of UNCONTROLLED BADGERS. Now, that's an item worth the investment.
Man, I need to look up those tables for magic item quirks again.
Darrin
2013-10-18, 08:20 AM
AC11, Book of Wondrous Inventions: "Bard In A Box"
http://i.imgur.com/X8Lku.png
Phelix-Mu
2013-10-18, 11:42 AM
AC11, Book of Wondrous Inventions: "Bard In A Box"
http://i.imgur.com/X8Lku.png
That may be one of the most interesting illustrations for D&D ever. Is that halfling a ninja? Is he wearing an ascot? WHERE DID HE GET THOSE SHADES?
Agent 451
2013-10-18, 12:14 PM
AC11, Book of Wondrous Inventions: "Bard In A Box"
http://i.imgur.com/X8Lku.png
Geordi called, and he wants his VISOR back!
AC11, Book of Wondrous Inventions: "Bard In A Box"
http://i.imgur.com/X8Lku.png
Beat me to it. Just about everything in that book is pure awesome.
ArqArturo
2013-10-18, 05:08 PM
And then, there's also the 'magic' wands/rods from the Temple of the Frog.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/JHaines/Misc/Frog_Low.jpg
Agent 451
2013-10-18, 06:25 PM
Along a similar line are the energy weapons in Expedition to the Barrier Peaks
http://www.wizards.com/d20modern/images/futuretech_expedition.jpg
navar100
2013-10-18, 06:52 PM
I find the Bag of Devouring funny.
ArqArturo
2013-10-18, 07:05 PM
I find the Bag of Devouring funny.
I find that bags of holding can be deviously great disguising props, just slide an appendage thought the bag and hide the 'stump' from prying eyes. No one's going to know Eldrac the Bard is an old man that is missing an arm or a leg.
Phelix-Mu
2013-10-18, 10:55 PM
I find the Bag of Devouring funny.
That's because it is funny. If only one could link a bunch of them together so as to get a predictable rate of devouring. Oh, parallel circuit of garbage disposals! I summon thee!
Big Fau
2013-10-19, 11:00 AM
Wasn't there one, the fork of horrid horripilation or something? Definitely wins for cool name in my book. I think it was a tuning fork that made a scary or unsettling noise or something.
If there is, then it's what inspired the item of the same name from Elder Scrolls.
grarrrg
2013-10-19, 11:14 AM
But, 10% chance of Badgers. Awesome !
:smallconfused:
I'm really not sure why you chose sarcasm color for that response.
10% Chance of Badgers is always fun.
TrollCapAmerica
2013-10-19, 11:24 AM
Wow my nostalgia went into overdrive from this thread.It took me like 3 years before I collected the Encyclopedia Magcia and I love that horrid 1st ed module art too.The EM also had a certain level of style that made them look great on a book shelf together
If I had to choose funniest item I would have to go with the classic Wand/Rod of Wonder.This becomes even more fun if you use the 7 variations from the Encyclopedia Magica just in case the PCs get too used to the butterfly hordes and gem machineguns of the original
Phelix-Mu
2013-10-19, 11:54 AM
If there is, then it's what inspired the item of the same name from Elder Scrolls.
Yes, I believe that may have been a D&D reference there. Or I'm misremembering.
Surely someone on the interwebz has sorted genre references from Elder Scrolls alphabetically and by source material. Because, you know, the internet.:smalltongue:
Der_DWSage
2013-10-19, 12:13 PM
One particular item that one of my old GMs claimed was from a Dragon Magazine...
Fool's Nail:To use this, have someone else drive it into your chest. You take 1d10+Strength damage from that character, and gain 1 point of Wisdom per damage taken, up to a maximum of 10, for a duration of 8 hours.
Generally the first thing people learn is to not let the party Barbarian do that again.
Brookshw
2013-10-19, 12:27 PM
Would you count the deck of many things? The randomness always seems to result in at least one ridiculous thing.
Ravens_cry
2013-10-19, 01:00 PM
d20 Modern but . . .
Duct Tape of Repair.
Though, truthfully, it shouldn't even need to be enchanted.:smallamused:
navar100
2013-10-19, 01:28 PM
:smallconfused:
I'm really not sure why you chose sarcasm color for that response.
10% Chance of Badgers is always fun.
We don't need no stinking badgers!
Ravens_cry
2013-10-19, 01:56 PM
We don't need no stinking badgers!
What about clean ones?*
*Yes, I get the reference.
There was that Soda vending machine that bites your hand. That was pretty amusing.
CyberThread
2013-10-19, 02:15 PM
chaos gnomes in that space travling one, had flying hamsters, while they fired space ray guns that used rods of wonder as ammunition .
ArqArturo
2013-10-19, 02:44 PM
chaos gnomes in that space travling one, had flying hamsters, while they fired space ray guns that used rods of wonder as ammunition .
Are the hamsters dire?.
CyberThread
2013-10-19, 03:06 PM
No we are talking about gnomes not humans, don't need dire for gnomes.
ArqArturo
2013-10-19, 03:08 PM
Well, the idea of a tiny little gnome going on a murderous rampage against its enemies sounds like fun, really. Add in some levels in barbarian and you've got yourself a tiny bundle full of rage and destruction.
Crasical
2013-10-19, 03:56 PM
I forget the precise name, something like Inquisitor's Gauntlets from the Spell Compendium. Cure Serious Wounds triggered to when you made an unarmed strike, intended to root out undead. Since most people's unarmed strikes deal nonlethal damage, and cure spells cure an equal amount of lethal and nonlethal, you can use this to heal party members by beating them up.
CyberThread
2013-10-19, 03:59 PM
I forget the precise name, something like Inquisitor's Gauntlets from the Spell Compendium. Cure Serious Wounds triggered to when you made an unarmed strike, intended to root out undead. Since most people's unarmed strikes deal nonlethal damage, and cure spells cure an equal amount of lethal and nonlethal, you can use this to heal party members by beating them up.
BY THE POWER OF PELOR I HEAL YOU OF YOUR DEFORMITIES!
on a serious note it is rp gold.
Ravens_cry
2013-10-19, 04:07 PM
That would be in the Magic Item Compendium, and I think it's a cure mod actually. Being hit with gauntlet is lethal, improved unarmed strike or no, so it's potentially doing damage that could drop a Commoner and then healing them, possibly not enough to heal them up to above negatives.
A rather brutal method of inquisition, yes?
Crasical
2013-10-19, 04:22 PM
That would be in the Magic Item Compendium, and I think it's a cure mod actually. Being hit with gauntlet is lethal, improved unarmed strike or no, so it's potentially doing damage that could drop a Commoner and then healing them, possibly not enough to heal them up to above negatives.
A rather brutal method of inquisition, yes?
Pull your punches. Your allies are (theoretically) willing targets, so the penalty to hit shouldn't even be an issue.
Ravens_cry
2013-10-19, 04:26 PM
Pull your punches. Your allies are (theoretically) willing targets, so the penalty to hit shouldn't even be an issue.
Someone tries punching at me with a metal gauntlet, I duck. You will have to explain to me what it is before I let you punch me with it willingly.
Crasical
2013-10-19, 05:01 PM
Someone tries punching at me with a metal gauntlet, I duck. You will have to explain to me what it is before I let you punch me with it willingly.
Hence 'theoretically'.
Ravens_cry
2013-10-19, 05:03 PM
Hence 'theoretically'.
A theory that doesn't reflect reality in at least some part is a poor theory, no?
The space hamsters in Spelljammer are the source for Boo, Minsc's miniature giant space hamster.
If you don't know what I am talking about, hie thee to Amazon or GOG and play Baldur's Gate II.
TuggyNE
2013-10-19, 07:06 PM
A rather brutal method of inquisition, yes?
It's called "inquisition", not "polite querying", y'know? :smallyuk:
Ravens_cry
2013-10-19, 07:26 PM
It's called "inquisition", not "polite querying", y'know? :smallyuk:
No one expects the Spanish Polite Querying!
Vertharrad
2013-10-19, 07:28 PM
The space hamsters in Spelljammer are the source for Boo, Minsc's miniature giant space hamster.
If you don't know what I am talking about, hie thee to Amazon or GOG and play Baldur's Gate II.
Butt kicking for goodness!
grarrrg
2013-10-19, 08:35 PM
The space hamsters in Spelljammer are the source for Boo, Minsc's miniature giant space hamster.
If you don't know what I am talking about, hie thee to Amazon or GOG and play Baldur's Gate II.
Ain't nothing wrong with Baldur's Gate I either.
Also:
GO FOR THE EYES BOO! GO FOR THE EYES!!!
Xunthrae
2013-10-20, 04:12 AM
No one expects the Spanish Polite Querying!
I love you, this had me going for a good minute. :smallbiggrin:
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