View Full Version : TPAY/TPBY D&D Vending Machine XXVII: Some Assembly Required

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2013-10-20, 09:49 PM
The fun continues! Welcome back!
Last Thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=243374)

You see, in some dark forgotten corner, a vending machine. This magical vending machine is inhabited by the Vending Machine Gnomes (no, no one quite knows just how they manage to either fit or live in there).
The machine has a magical coin slot through which any item, of any size, of any degree of tangibility, may be inserted as payment. The vending slot works the same way, capable of dispensing an equal arrangement of items.
The Vending Machine Gnomes are willing to trade certain items for others, and can be quite fickle in what they dispense. If you insert a Lightning Bolt, you might get a live carp to the face.

I insert some white space.

2013-10-20, 09:50 PM
You get the new thread

I insert a MMO group called the Moonlit Black Cats

2013-10-20, 09:58 PM
You get 13 black cats with big ominous 4's strapped to them.

I insert the old thread.

2013-10-21, 12:51 AM
You receive a ball of antique yarn.

I insert a pile of freshly fallen leaves.

2013-10-21, 05:28 AM
You receive a ball of antique yarn.

I insert a pile of freshly fallen leaves.

You get Autumn

I insert the USNC Pillar Of Autumn

2013-10-21, 09:47 AM
You get a pile of colorful leaves.

I insert a leaflet advertising the advantages of Lawful Evil alignment

2013-10-21, 03:15 PM
You get a leaflet advertising the advantages of the Nazi party.

I insert a fresh sprig of nutmeg.

2013-10-21, 03:45 PM
You get a rock.

I insert one dollar.

Laughing Dog
2013-10-21, 06:50 PM
You get a package of two Poptarts.

I insert a dream so grand.

2013-10-21, 09:23 PM
You get a sparrow in the hand

I insert poetry

2013-10-21, 10:25 PM
You get violinism

I insert a rod of unlimited silent still quickened Love's Pain.

2013-10-22, 08:59 AM
You get a wand of locate city its label reads "metamagics not included".

I insert true naming.

2013-10-22, 09:18 AM
You get all the names of the people everybody's mothers... Interacted with. It's a long list :smalleek:
Yo mama joke, so classy
I insert my avatar.

2013-10-22, 10:49 AM
You get my avatar.

I insert a dream of time gone by, when hope was high and life worth living.

Laughing Dog
2013-10-22, 10:57 AM
You get told to wake up.

I insert Fire Emblem Awakening's Lunatic+ Mode.

2013-10-22, 11:10 AM
You get a small child in need of consoling.

I insert an immovable object.

2013-10-22, 12:45 PM
You get an unstoppable force.
In the face.

I insert my Survive the Attack thread.

2013-10-22, 02:23 PM
You get attacked by the vending machine. But don't worry, you survive.

I insert a tesseract.

2013-10-22, 03:51 PM
You get a worm's hole/burrow/whatever.

I insert a summoner

2013-10-22, 09:51 PM
You get the cult of skaro.

I insert a dalek.

Blue Ghost
2013-10-22, 11:45 PM
You get a Weeping Angel. In the face.

I insert the Spear of Heliod.

2013-10-23, 12:05 AM
You get a rusty old dagger.

I insert the cast of Community and Seinfeld.

2013-10-23, 05:12 AM
You get that weird little flaily hand gesture Kramer always does.

I insert a flail.

2013-10-23, 08:40 AM
You get a flail snail.

I insert tpbm.

2013-10-23, 09:12 AM
You get scratches across your face, presumably from talons.

I insert the Warcraft 3 battle chest.

2013-10-23, 09:16 AM
You get a regular chest.

I insert a piece of worn old leather.

2013-10-23, 10:07 AM
You get a worn old cow.

I insert the Blue Crystal Staff.

Laughing Dog
2013-10-23, 10:57 AM
You gain the ability for your workers to gather wood and gold faster.

I insert Arkantos.

2013-10-23, 11:03 AM
You get the Decanter of Endless Arkhosias

I insert my endless amounts of copies.

2013-10-23, 11:28 AM
You get an endless amount of puppy-trees ready for harvesting

I insert an unborn pig fetus

2013-10-23, 12:57 PM
You receive Biology 101.

I insert barns and nobles.

2013-10-23, 02:12 PM
You recieve some stables and hay silos, along with several bewildered-looking aristocrats.

I insert a dragonborn vampire mind flayer with psionics and multiclasses up the wazoo.

2013-10-23, 06:17 PM
You get a bunch of half-clay golem undead war trolls.

I insert the burning eye of Sauron and a couple of Nameless Things.

2013-10-23, 06:24 PM
You get a piece of ice and a book of Baby Names. The first Nameless Thing is named Toby.
I inserts WW game.

Blue Ghost
2013-10-23, 07:51 PM
You get WWWWWWW: World Wide Web World War Werewolf! Have fun!

I insert a rusted penny.

2013-10-23, 08:43 PM
You get an Abraham Lincoln zombie.

I insert my favorite webcomics.

2013-10-24, 02:25 PM
You get a notebook full of vaguely racist comics from the thirties.

I insert this smiley: :smallannoyed:

2013-10-24, 08:44 PM
You get Mike from Joyce & Walky

I insert Drowtales

2013-10-24, 11:26 PM
You get cathands.

I insert a half rasher of bacon.

2013-10-25, 09:37 AM
You receive a barleycorn of twine.

I insert 72 moles of gaseous boron into the vending machine.

2013-10-25, 10:22 AM
You get 72 moles that can shoot boron from their mouths. Have fun!
I insert one of the vending machine gnomes.

2013-10-25, 10:28 AM
You get a "Lost and Found" box

I insert sodium, water, nitrogen, and a lighter

2013-10-25, 02:32 PM
You get a high school Chemistry class "safety and procedures" paper.

I insert five hairs plucked from the chinscraggle of a mountain dwarf.

2013-10-25, 06:37 PM
You get a blonde lock of hair from a powerful elven royal.

I insert the shattered shards of an evil, powerful blade. Tokijin

2013-10-25, 06:41 PM
You get hit by a migrating salmon.

I insert the salmon that they got hit by.

2013-10-25, 06:42 PM
You get a handbook on river pollution.

I insert a river.

2013-10-25, 07:44 PM
You get a song.

I insert myself. :smallyuk:

2013-10-25, 09:42 PM
You get me.

I insert a holy symbol of Obad-Hai.

2013-10-25, 10:09 PM
You get a malevolent greeting.

I insert Agatha Heterodyne, Girl Genius

Laughing Dog
2013-10-25, 10:14 PM
You get a letter from the gnomes that states that they surrender.

I insert a Borg drone.

2013-10-26, 11:47 AM
You get a Dalek.
I insert Serenity (the ship).

2013-10-26, 01:56 PM
You get a firefly in a jar.

I insert my brother.

2013-10-26, 09:05 PM
You get a nepotism archon

I insert a truth archon in a jar filled with wine.
After all, In Vinum, Veritas

Laughing Dog
2013-10-26, 09:41 PM
You get a very drunk Yang Xiao Long.

I insert a very sober Weiss Schnee.

2013-10-26, 11:57 PM
You get Sir Commander Blackboard Monitor Sam Vimes.

I insert Klatchian coffee.

2013-10-28, 02:33 PM
You get knurd. You get INCREDIBLY knurd.

I insert a hat with the word "wizzard" spelled on it in sequins.

2013-10-28, 02:37 PM
You get Boss Wizard!

I insert XKCD.

2013-10-28, 07:42 PM
You get a mole of moles.

I insert the mighty sword Oblivious!

2013-10-28, 07:49 PM
You get nothing.

I insert a rope.

2013-10-28, 08:55 PM
You get soap

I insert two fish: one red, the other blue.

2013-10-28, 11:38 PM
You get three fish: one A fish and two B fish.

I insert Sir Commander Blackboard Monitor Sam Vimes and my hope that he hasn't tried to arrest Laughing Dog.

2013-10-29, 05:57 AM
You get 20 pairs of ten dollar boots

I insert Death the Kid (soul eater)

2013-10-29, 08:09 AM
You get Death as a depressed teenager.

I insert a Thud! board.

2013-10-31, 09:02 AM
You get a Stealth Chess board.

I insert Mr. Teh-ah-tim-eh.

2013-10-31, 09:16 AM
You get a potato.

I insert Arkhosia.

2013-10-31, 09:47 AM
You get a potato, too.

I insert a deep fryer.

2013-10-31, 11:21 AM
You get a potato as well. Too bad you don't have a deep fryer.

I insert misanthropy.

2013-10-31, 11:50 AM
You receive a spicy Goth drag queen with the stage name, Miss Anthropy. She teaches you how to walk in PVC stilettos.

I insert some marzipan from the wedding of Princess Mafalda of Savoy.

2013-10-31, 02:20 PM
You get some dry sponge cake from the elopement of Jane Cramley from Magnolia Springs, Alabama.

I insert a quantum cougar.

2013-10-31, 02:31 PM
You get a note that reads
We were going to give Quality Cognac but drank it instead. Try Again.

I insert a Buffalo Bills Sweatshirt.

2013-10-31, 03:30 PM
You get Richard Simmons' sweatpants.

I insert Godzilla's little-known cousin Earl into the vending machine.

2013-10-31, 03:32 PM
You get his little-known cousin Liz the Chameleon

I insert Dioxygen Difluoride. (http://what-if.xkcd.com/40/)

2013-10-31, 04:47 PM
You get frozen fire

I insert a gnome.

2013-10-31, 05:45 PM
You get a letter from the Vending Machine gnomes thanking you for turning in "Little Bart," a notorious gnome murderer and arsonist. It comes with a reward of $5.00.

I insert a troglodyte spear.

2013-11-01, 08:17 AM
You get gnome-kebabs™

I insert an irate super saiyan.

2013-11-01, 09:20 AM
You get a pirate super saiyan.

I insert girallon glue.

2013-11-01, 06:27 PM
You get a hot glue gun.

I insert a court of kangaroos.

2013-11-01, 07:57 PM
You get the Trial of the Knave of Hearts.

I insert Chlorine Trifluoride (http://pipeline.corante.com/archives/2008/02/26/sand_wont_save_you_this_time.php).

2013-11-01, 09:38 PM
You get... well, you get burned. A lot.

I insert a vial of pixels.

2013-11-02, 12:35 AM
You get fried mushrooms.

I insert the aforemetioned mushrooms.

2013-11-02, 12:49 AM
You get a confused looking Hatter.

I insert American McGees Alice.

2013-11-02, 03:11 AM
You get a book that explains the logic puzzles in Lewis Carroll's works.

I insert a clock that only tells what day it is and a reality in which it's always teatime.

2013-11-02, 11:09 AM
You get an atomic clock

I insert Sodium

2013-11-02, 01:07 PM
You get set on fire.

I insert a half a bottle of lemon. Not lemonade or lemon juice. Just lemon.

2013-11-02, 04:29 PM
You get a half a slice of blue. Not blue jeans or the blues. Just blue.

I insert my dragons.

Laughing Dog
2013-11-03, 12:19 AM
You get a drunk fairy. Who is going on about dragons tasting good.:smalleek:

I insert Bud Abbott

Edit:@V Hmm... Iwas hoping for Lou Costello. Ah well.

2013-11-03, 12:21 AM
You get a monks Abbey and a little Buddy to keep with you.

I insert a monastery.

2013-11-03, 06:57 AM
You get smitten (smote?).

I insert a small wooden goat.

2013-11-03, 09:56 AM
You get a medium-sized wooden alpaca. It's full of mashed potatoes for some reason...

I insert some Where's Waldo? Pages with Waldo cropped out

2013-11-03, 10:37 AM
You get a red and white hat with a pom pom on the end and a pair of broken glasses.

I insert love.

2013-11-03, 10:40 AM
You get a robot very happy with his emotional knowledge

I insert Mine Turtle

2013-11-04, 02:08 PM
You get bomb-detecting falcon!

I insert TPAM's post.

2013-11-04, 02:19 PM
You get

You get bomb-detecting falcon!

I insert TPAM's post.

I insert a Julia Set (http://mathworld.wolfram.com/JuliaSet.html) into the vending machine.

2013-11-04, 03:12 PM
You get the Stefan-Boltzmann law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stefan–Boltzmann_law).

I insert four carrion crawlers.

2013-11-05, 10:16 PM
You get a message that says: Ewww, bugs!

I throw In a cupcake.

(honestly who throws a cupcake!?)

2013-11-05, 10:49 PM
You get GIR.

I insert Invader Zim

2013-11-05, 10:58 PM
You get an addled cartoonist. He draws you like one of his French girls.

I insert Father Callahan, from 'Salems Lot.

2013-11-06, 01:50 AM
You get Mordred Deschain, from The Dark Tower. I hope you have something to feed him with.

I insert a tree filled with spiders (http://texasento.net/Social_Sp_lrg.jpg).

2013-11-06, 04:42 AM
You get a spider with leetle tiny trees on its back, which are filled with spiders with trees on their backs, and so on.

I insert 5 new copper pieces.

2013-11-06, 03:23 PM
You receive one day's worth of trail rations.

I insert a stained-glass window.

2013-11-06, 03:28 PM
You get a pure white intangible opaque block

I insert an Anti-Materiel Rifle

2013-11-06, 04:47 PM
You get materials.

I insert Mark Twains glorious mustache, may its whiskers never fall.

Laughing Dog
2013-11-06, 07:42 PM
You get handlebars.

I insert Link, Din, Nayru, and Farore.

2013-11-06, 09:18 PM
Don't know how they'd feel about that, but...
You get a chocolate chip cookie in the shape of a triforce.

I insert a cat who is quiet, small, and black from his ears to the tip of his tail.
I make sure he can creep through the tiniest crack and walk on the narrowest rail.

Badass Halfling
2013-11-07, 09:17 AM
You receive a beaten up and mangled ball of black hair.

I insert Rocky Balboa.

2013-11-07, 10:47 AM
You get a rock and a boa constrictor.

I insert Liam Neesons daughter.

2013-11-07, 03:30 PM
You get her back, immediately and unharmed with a note that reads:
Nice try and we already texted him.

I insert Time Warner Cable.

2013-11-07, 03:33 PM
You get the Warner Brothers.

I insert a Magic Missile.

2013-11-07, 03:53 PM
You get blinded by the light.

I insert a sorcerer of prestidigitation.

2013-11-07, 04:27 PM
You get cheap tricks

I insert a drider

2013-11-07, 05:35 PM
You get Mordred Deschain. Again. He's very hungry.

I insert a group of ponies from MLP, FiM

2013-11-07, 05:59 PM
You get the Mane Six.

I insert a shred of coconut.

Badass Halfling
2013-11-07, 06:28 PM
You receive a Snowball (The Hostess product).

I insert cheddar-onion bread.

2013-11-07, 07:08 PM
You get halitosis.

I insert confusion.

2013-11-09, 12:51 AM
You get facts.

I insert a tiny leetle tree.

2013-11-09, 11:53 AM
You get a bonsai mountain.

I insert a pair of well-worn leather boots.

2013-11-09, 11:57 AM
You get Sam Vimes

I insert Roman Torchwick

2013-11-09, 03:07 PM
You get a roman candle.

I insert haribo.

2013-11-11, 06:30 PM
You get riboflavin supplements.

I insert an irate hippopotamus wearing a pink tutu.

2013-11-11, 06:39 PM
You get a flattened aligator.

I insert the sound of music. Not the movie. The sound.

2013-11-11, 10:57 PM
You get The Hills Have Eyes. The movie.

I insert 2d4 zombies.

2013-11-12, 12:17 AM
You get 1d2 necromancers

I insert my hand

2013-11-12, 12:47 AM
You get my foot... In your face.

I insert a hadoken.

2013-11-12, 03:51 PM
You get a Solar Beam.

I insert a shard of the Blarney Stone.

Laughing Dog
2013-11-12, 05:28 PM
You get a pot of Woad.

I insert a purchase order written in Infernal.

2013-11-12, 07:28 PM
You get receipt for one (1) soul.

I insert a set of architectural plans for a castle, complete with dungeons.

2013-11-12, 07:31 PM
You get a confused architect.

I insert a phylactery (not mine)

2013-11-12, 09:31 PM
You get a horcrux (not mine either)

I insert an umber hulk :smallsigh:, a purple worm :smallfrown:, a red dragon :smallfurious:, and a gray ooze :smallredface:.

2013-11-12, 10:33 PM
You get an extremely ripped note saying "Please don't. They always make such a mess." Is that blood?!?!?!

I insert blood.

2013-11-12, 11:00 PM
You get plasma

I insert my arm up to my shoulder (which is still connected to my body).

2013-11-13, 05:14 AM
You get an army.
I insert a barrel of ale.

2013-11-13, 09:01 AM
You get back a drunk dwarf with a monkey.

I insert a humidifier.

2013-11-13, 09:17 AM
You get back a box of cigars.

I insert headphones.

2013-11-13, 03:53 PM
You get a ringing in your ears. Bu-dum-Tish! :smallsmile:

I insert Pirate_Tinman.

2013-11-13, 06:19 PM
You get a hunk of rust.

I insert my Airship Pirates!

2013-11-14, 09:31 AM
You get a bunch of inflated balloons on strings.

I insert a pack of chewing gum Dire Wolves.

2013-11-22, 11:17 PM
You get a plate of venison.

I insert my toothbrush.

2013-11-23, 01:24 AM
You get a large boar tusk with shark teeth duct taped to the end of it

I insert a hot pocket

2013-11-23, 01:36 AM
You get a pair of flaming pants

I insert a foot (the human body part)

Laughing Dog
2013-11-23, 01:52 AM
You get a hand.

I insert a blade.

2013-11-23, 02:55 AM
You get a cloak.

I insert a pokeball.

2013-11-23, 10:54 AM
You get an engraved invitation to a duel.

I insert a blank notebook.

2013-11-23, 01:57 PM
You get the Death Note!

I insert Sebastian Michaelis.

2013-11-24, 01:33 AM
You get a pedobear doll

I insert an eyepatch.

Laughing Dog
2013-11-24, 12:35 PM
You get a katana that has a rather ragged edge.

I insert an oversized butcher knife.

2013-11-24, 01:38 PM
You get a ginormous steak. Raw.

I insert a potted plant.

2013-11-24, 03:35 PM
You get a pot plant.

I insert a dead catgirl.

2013-11-27, 09:02 PM
you get an undead dog man

i insert a quarter and press the button for doritos

2013-11-27, 11:53 PM
You get a bag of Dorïtos, which are similar, but speak out in German when you eat them.

I insert the City. Not a city, but The City.

2013-12-02, 05:24 PM
You Get A Bunch Of Capital Letters.

I insert tropical laser beams.

Laughing Dog
2013-12-02, 05:48 PM
You get a Hawaiian magical girl.

I insert Wabbajack

Passive Pete
2013-12-02, 06:03 PM
You receive a guy named Jack going "Wabba, wabba!" again and again.

I insert a one-dollar bill and 2 quarters.

2013-12-02, 06:18 PM
You get a platypus.

I insert half of a platypus.

2013-12-02, 06:52 PM
You get a beaver and a duck.

I insert two chainzs.

2013-12-03, 03:33 PM
You get a chain gang. And their leader, Billy Chain-link, wants you to pay up before things get ugly.

I insert a book written by my cat.

2013-12-03, 05:31 PM
You get the a ticket to cats on broadway

I insert my left foot

Passive Pete
2013-12-03, 05:33 PM
You hear a grinding noise, and pull out the stump that used to be a whole leg.

I insert some sugarplums. Happy Holidays!

2013-12-03, 07:27 PM
You get a hat! (welcome by the way, and happy holidays too)

I insert a tavern fully stocked with hard-drinking adventurers.

2013-12-03, 09:05 PM
You get a stereotypical campaign beginning.

I insert a bag of magic legumes.

2013-12-05, 06:27 AM
You get an irate giant.

I insert a skeleton woman (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AXmzBVxcjI).

2013-12-06, 01:21 PM
You get a supermodel.

I insert Techno.

2013-12-06, 07:32 PM
You get a beatdown.

I insert caltrops.

2013-12-06, 08:53 PM
You get an oil slick.

I insert no more and no less than thirteen hundred buckets of fiddler crabs.

Laughing Dog
2013-12-07, 12:41 AM
You get your goblin tribe decimated by angry gnomes.

I insert the vending machine into the Wabbajack.

2013-12-07, 05:17 PM
You get a long, psychotic, oddly hilarious rant from the Madgod.

I insert the last words of Dutch Shultz.

2013-12-07, 07:10 PM
You get a Dutchman named Charles

I insert Crescent Rose (A scythe. It's also a gun)

2013-12-07, 07:14 PM
You get a beautifully smelling croissant that also fires tiny scythes!

I insert a hunk of burning love.

2013-12-12, 06:01 PM
You get cold hate from the gnomes.

I insert The "other" ring

2013-12-16, 10:29 PM
You get married!

I insert a ps4

2013-12-16, 11:01 PM
You get an Xbox One and a letter of apology about how horrible your trade-off was.

I insert a tree that was cut down with a herring.

Laughing Dog
2013-12-16, 11:54 PM
Ni! Ni! Ni! You get a knight that says Ni!

I insert the business end of a cannon. I then light the fuse.

2013-12-17, 03:27 PM
You get a dull boom and lots of smoke pours out of the vending machine.

I insert true love's first kiss.

2013-12-17, 04:04 PM
You get a headless husband and wife.

I stick my head in the vending machine and sing the 'Modern-Major General' song as loud as I can.

2013-12-18, 06:17 PM
You get beheaded and your head commes out in a paper bag

I insert said head in a paper bag

Targ Collective
2013-12-23, 10:58 AM
You get a mysteriously fully healed and reincarnated Dudeons....

I insert a 1:1 scale model of the Universe.

2013-12-25, 11:12 PM
You get a black hole.

I insert a stethoscope and a katana

2013-12-25, 11:47 PM
You get the game Ninjadoctor - play as a ninja while curing sickness!

I insert a zerg rush.

2013-12-26, 01:05 AM
You get the main character of Worm.

I insert a bonesaw.

2013-12-27, 05:52 PM
You get arthritis.

I insert how old I feel right now.

Gnomish Wanderer
2013-12-28, 08:53 PM
You get an ancient jibbering horror who endlessly talks about how old it is and how things were so much better a few millennia ago.

I insert karmic payback.

2013-12-28, 09:10 PM
You get an ancient jibbering horror who endlessly talks about how old it is and how things were so much better a few millennia ago.

I insert karmic payback.

You get luck: both types.

I insert a ninja on fire

2013-12-29, 12:48 AM
You get a cryogenically preserved samurai.

I insert every person who's ever posted on this thread, and I dive in after them.

2013-12-29, 01:03 AM
You get an Olympic swimming pool.

I insert a mildly irritated sea serpent.

Laughing Dog
2013-12-29, 08:10 PM
A tentacle rips out of the dispensing slot, pulling you into the machine.

I shove an adventuring party in to go rescue GuesssWho.

2013-12-30, 07:07 PM
The machine spits out GuesssWho and all other who have posted in this tread, but the adventuring party is never seen agein.

I insert a new years dinner for the gnomes and a lit dunamite to give them some fireworks to enjoy while eating

Gnomish Wanderer
2013-12-30, 07:12 PM
You get a small thank you note back that happens to explain that the writer prepared explosive runes that morning.

I insert a dark and foreboding prophecy.

2013-12-30, 09:38 PM
You get ominous music.

I insert a fistful of broken glass.

2013-12-30, 09:44 PM
You get ominous music.

I insert a fistful of broken glass.

You get a glass pain pane.

I insert Mine Turtle

2013-12-30, 09:50 PM
You get Kamikaze Duck!

I insert all of my Facebook profile pictures.

2013-12-31, 03:43 AM
You get everyone else's profile photos.

I insert a bunch of unspirational posters.

2013-12-31, 07:00 PM
You get a collection of inspirational posters: the ones in this thread, actually.

I insert a fortune cookie.

V count 'em again.

Passive Pete
2013-12-31, 11:40 PM
You hear a crunching noise, a chewing noise, and then receive a small slip of paper that lists a few "lucky numbers" and reads the following fortune: "You will not post in this thread until 3 more people have".

I insert 2014, 1 hour and twenty minutes before it hits me.

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2013-12-31, 11:48 PM
You receive the year 2261. A year of fire, a year of destruction, the year we take back what was ours. The year of rebirth, and of great sadness. A year of pain, and of joy. It is a new age. It is the end of history. It is the year everything changes.

I insert the name of the place: Babylon 5.

2014-01-04, 05:44 PM
You receive a Voorlon with nothing to say but enigmatic, vaguely foreboding "stuff"

I insert a micro-particle filter.

Gnomish Wanderer
2014-01-04, 06:00 PM
You get a handful of microparticles and a thank-you note.

I insert a young person on a quest to restore their honor during which they will clearly learn and gain much more than they expected or even knew they wanted.

2014-01-04, 06:00 PM
You get TvTropes.

I insert the contents of this forum's FFRP section

2014-01-04, 06:12 PM
You get the unrelenting chaos of a thousand madmen. However, we all seem to now be remarkably saner!

1000111010011011011011110111001 (I insert binary nonsense.)

2014-01-04, 07:25 PM
You get 8e 9b 6f 39 HEX

I insert a small note with the text:
Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
Translated to gnomish!

Passive Pete
2014-01-05, 11:52 PM
You get a note that reads the following:
Lorem ipsum scriptum est in commentariis inserere qui modo

I insert that one guy in that one boat in that one scene in the Hobbit 2.

Targ Collective
2014-01-06, 04:12 PM
You get his biography: The Life of an Incidental Character - Hobbit Times

I insert every malicious wish granting entity in existence into the vending machine, along with every wish-twisting thread EVER.

2014-01-06, 05:50 PM
You get a certificate for one free wish. Good luck with that.
I insert a Player's Handbook.

2014-01-06, 05:54 PM
You get about a million character sheets, each one bearing a unique PC, with all combinations on the sheets

I insert RWBY

2014-01-06, 06:13 PM
You get a ring of deny physics.

I insert physics.

Targ Collective
2014-01-06, 08:44 PM
You get maths.

I insert maths.

Laughing Dog
2014-01-06, 11:05 PM
You get a peanut.

I insert the Borg Queen, and then run far and fast.

2014-01-07, 03:35 AM
You gets a tractor beam that sucks you int the cube/machine

I insert world peace we don't needs it

2014-01-07, 04:18 AM
You get world pieces.

I insert "The god of a new world"

2014-01-07, 05:12 AM
You get the God-Emperor of Mankind.

I insert Papa Nurgle.

Targ Collective
2014-01-07, 02:31 PM
You get Khorne.

I insert the Mercury Djinni Dew.

Laughing Dog
2014-01-07, 02:51 PM
You get Mia.

I insert Sheba.

2014-01-08, 12:19 AM
You get Shiva

I insert 15,987,324 nickels

2014-01-08, 12:48 AM
You get alphabet soup.

I insert a portable hole.

Targ Collective
2014-01-08, 04:28 AM
You get a roadrunner.

I insert the Sol Brand.

Laughing Dog
2014-01-08, 08:34 AM
You get Megiddo. In the face :smalleek:

I insert the snow that came down yesterday afternoon.

2014-01-08, 12:51 PM
You get -20 degrees Fahrenheit.

I insert an adorable kitten.

2014-01-08, 01:24 PM
You get a Rakshasa.

I insert a handful of caltrops.

2014-01-08, 03:42 PM
You get a bunch of Legos in the dark.

I insert a file marked "Urgen"

Targ Collective
2014-01-08, 05:27 PM
You get a cup of T.

I insert the Teleport Lapis.

2014-01-09, 01:03 PM
You get a Teleport Psynergy.
I insert a calculus textbook.

2014-01-09, 02:27 PM
You get a scroll of the spell Sleep.

I insert a wall-mounted demon head sculpture with a Sphere of Annihilation in its mouth.

2014-01-09, 03:04 PM
You get a seriously ticked off adventuring party.

I insert a cordless telephone with a cord taped to it.

2014-01-09, 06:53 PM
You get an angry phone call.

I insert an assortment of swords.

2014-01-09, 07:42 PM
You get a munchkin!

I insert my favorite YouTube channels.

2014-01-09, 08:45 PM
You get trolls.

I insert a bathtub.

2014-01-10, 02:30 AM
You get a italian plumber who likes to eat fungus.

I insert plan 9 from outer space

2014-01-10, 10:31 AM
You get a barely sober Johnny Depp.

I insert a Deck of Many Things.

2014-01-10, 02:45 PM
You get misfortune.

I insert Richard Castle and Kate Beckett.

2014-01-10, 04:22 PM
You get a scroll of Raise Pixel, which allows to to bring a dead pixel on any device back to life.

I insert a scroll of Confusion into the vending machine.

2014-01-10, 04:24 PM
You get Confused! Korith hurt itself in its confusion!

I insert my cape and sword.

2014-01-10, 04:31 PM
You get my axe!

I insert a tired and overused plot device.

2014-01-10, 10:24 PM
You get TV Tropes.

I insert Cracked.

2014-01-11, 01:39 PM
You get Sovereign Glue.

I insert a lobster.

2014-01-11, 02:22 PM
You get the closest famely member of a freshwater*crayfish

I insert the void

Targ Collective
2014-01-11, 05:27 PM
You get Light.

I quickly nab the Light you got and insert that.

2014-01-11, 05:45 PM
You receive a newly created small handheld universe

I insert the god of said universe

2014-01-13, 12:57 PM
You receive a very polite man in a suit handing out leaflets.

I insert a tanglefoot bag.

2014-01-13, 02:29 PM
You get a sack of entwined appendages.

I insert Catbug

Targ Collective
2014-01-14, 01:49 AM
You get an unstable portal gun.

I insert the Blaze Psynergy.

2014-01-14, 10:52 AM
You get Blaze the cat.

I insert my favorite MLP episode.

2014-01-14, 12:40 PM
You get Twilight's letter about what she learned about friendship today. Cherish it forever.

I insert a fire alarm.

2014-01-14, 03:31 PM
You get alarmed fire. Raised free range of course.

I insert the worlds supply of testosterone.

2014-01-14, 03:46 PM
You get alarmed fire. Raised free range of course.

I insert the worlds supply of testosterone.

You get the biggest supply of pick-up trucks, guns, and explosions ever.

I insert Jeremy Clarkson

2014-01-14, 03:56 PM
You get Kelly Clarkson.

I insert a season ticket to the New York Yankees.

2014-01-16, 01:33 AM
You get a jar of orc urine no one knows why the vending machine does what it does.

I insert the improbability drive.

Targ Collective
2014-01-16, 01:38 AM
You get the much more stable and boring probability drive.

I insert the Mars Star.

2014-01-16, 02:22 AM
You get a Mars Bar.

I insert Venus, just for a change.

2014-01-16, 09:47 AM
You get Aphrodite.

I insert a Dire Chipmunk.

2014-01-16, 10:55 AM
You get a miniature Giant space hamsters

I insert Baldurs Backdoor

2014-01-16, 02:47 PM
You get Steam.

I insert scrambled eggs.

2014-01-17, 12:11 AM
You get an angry mother cockatrice.

I insert a gelatinous cube wearing urban stylized clothing.