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Quiddle
2013-10-20, 09:49 PM
The fun continues! Welcome back!
Last Thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=243374)

You see, in some dark forgotten corner, a vending machine. This magical vending machine is inhabited by the Vending Machine Gnomes (no, no one quite knows just how they manage to either fit or live in there).
The machine has a magical coin slot through which any item, of any size, of any degree of tangibility, may be inserted as payment. The vending slot works the same way, capable of dispensing an equal arrangement of items.
The Vending Machine Gnomes are willing to trade certain items for others, and can be quite fickle in what they dispense. If you insert a Lightning Bolt, you might get a live carp to the face.


I insert some white space.

Arkhosia
2013-10-20, 09:50 PM
You get the new thread

I insert a MMO group called the Moonlit Black Cats

Dudeons
2013-10-20, 09:58 PM
You get 13 black cats with big ominous 4's strapped to them.

I insert the old thread.

Monivey
2013-10-21, 12:51 AM
You receive a ball of antique yarn.

I insert a pile of freshly fallen leaves.

Arkhosia
2013-10-21, 05:28 AM
You receive a ball of antique yarn.

I insert a pile of freshly fallen leaves.

You get Autumn

I insert the USNC Pillar Of Autumn

Korith
2013-10-21, 09:47 AM
You get a pile of colorful leaves.

I insert a leaflet advertising the advantages of Lawful Evil alignment

4here4
2013-10-21, 03:15 PM
You get a leaflet advertising the advantages of the Nazi party.

I insert a fresh sprig of nutmeg.

Penny67
2013-10-21, 03:45 PM
You get a rock.

I insert one dollar.

Laughing Dog
2013-10-21, 06:50 PM
You get a package of two Poptarts.

I insert a dream so grand.

Rover
2013-10-21, 09:23 PM
You get a sparrow in the hand


I insert poetry

BasketOfPuppies
2013-10-21, 10:25 PM
You get violinism

I insert a rod of unlimited silent still quickened Love's Pain.

Quiddle
2013-10-22, 08:59 AM
You get a wand of locate city its label reads "metamagics not included".


I insert true naming.

Sabeki
2013-10-22, 09:18 AM
You get all the names of the people everybody's mothers... Interacted with. It's a long list :smalleek:
Yo mama joke, so classy
I insert my avatar.

4here4
2013-10-22, 10:49 AM
You get my avatar.

I insert a dream of time gone by, when hope was high and life worth living.

Laughing Dog
2013-10-22, 10:57 AM
You get told to wake up.

I insert Fire Emblem Awakening's Lunatic+ Mode.

Penny67
2013-10-22, 11:10 AM
You get a small child in need of consoling.

I insert an immovable object.

Dudeons
2013-10-22, 12:45 PM
You get an unstoppable force.
In the face.

I insert my Survive the Attack thread.

4here4
2013-10-22, 02:23 PM
You get attacked by the vending machine. But don't worry, you survive.

I insert a tesseract.

Arkhosia
2013-10-22, 03:51 PM
You get a worm's hole/burrow/whatever.

I insert a summoner

Quiddle
2013-10-22, 09:51 PM
You get the cult of skaro.


I insert a dalek.

Blue Ghost
2013-10-22, 11:45 PM
You get a Weeping Angel. In the face.

I insert the Spear of Heliod.

Sabeki
2013-10-23, 12:05 AM
You get a rusty old dagger.

I insert the cast of Community and Seinfeld.

GuesssWho
2013-10-23, 05:12 AM
You get that weird little flaily hand gesture Kramer always does.

I insert a flail.

Quiddle
2013-10-23, 08:40 AM
You get a flail snail.

I insert tpbm.

Woodzyowl
2013-10-23, 09:12 AM
You get scratches across your face, presumably from talons.

I insert the Warcraft 3 battle chest.

Sabeki
2013-10-23, 09:16 AM
You get a regular chest.

I insert a piece of worn old leather.

4here4
2013-10-23, 10:07 AM
You get a worn old cow.

I insert the Blue Crystal Staff.

Laughing Dog
2013-10-23, 10:57 AM
You gain the ability for your workers to gather wood and gold faster.

I insert Arkantos.

Arkhosia
2013-10-23, 11:03 AM
You get the Decanter of Endless Arkhosias

I insert my endless amounts of copies.

BasketOfPuppies
2013-10-23, 11:28 AM
You get an endless amount of puppy-trees ready for harvesting

I insert an unborn pig fetus

Woodzyowl
2013-10-23, 12:57 PM
You receive Biology 101.

I insert barns and nobles.

4here4
2013-10-23, 02:12 PM
You recieve some stables and hay silos, along with several bewildered-looking aristocrats.

I insert a dragonborn vampire mind flayer with psionics and multiclasses up the wazoo.

GuesssWho
2013-10-23, 06:17 PM
You get a bunch of half-clay golem undead war trolls.

I insert the burning eye of Sauron and a couple of Nameless Things.

Sabeki
2013-10-23, 06:24 PM
You get a piece of ice and a book of Baby Names. The first Nameless Thing is named Toby.
I inserts WW game.

Blue Ghost
2013-10-23, 07:51 PM
You get WWWWWWW: World Wide Web World War Werewolf! Have fun!

I insert a rusted penny.

Dudeons
2013-10-23, 08:43 PM
You get an Abraham Lincoln zombie.

I insert my favorite webcomics.

4here4
2013-10-24, 02:25 PM
You get a notebook full of vaguely racist comics from the thirties.

I insert this smiley: :smallannoyed:

Arkhosia
2013-10-24, 08:44 PM
You get Mike from Joyce & Walky

I insert Drowtales

Woodzyowl
2013-10-24, 11:26 PM
You get cathands.

I insert a half rasher of bacon.

Korith
2013-10-25, 09:37 AM
You receive a barleycorn of twine.

I insert 72 moles of gaseous boron into the vending machine.

Sabeki
2013-10-25, 10:22 AM
You get 72 moles that can shoot boron from their mouths. Have fun!
I insert one of the vending machine gnomes.

Arkhosia
2013-10-25, 10:28 AM
You get a "Lost and Found" box

I insert sodium, water, nitrogen, and a lighter

4here4
2013-10-25, 02:32 PM
You get a high school Chemistry class "safety and procedures" paper.

I insert five hairs plucked from the chinscraggle of a mountain dwarf.

Shadebolt
2013-10-25, 06:37 PM
You get a blonde lock of hair from a powerful elven royal.

I insert the shattered shards of an evil, powerful blade. Tokijin

Woodzyowl
2013-10-25, 06:41 PM
You get hit by a migrating salmon.

I insert the salmon that they got hit by.

Sabeki
2013-10-25, 06:42 PM
You get a handbook on river pollution.

I insert a river.

Havokca
2013-10-25, 07:44 PM
You get a song.

I insert myself. :smallyuk:

4here4
2013-10-25, 09:42 PM
You get me.

I insert a holy symbol of Obad-Hai.

Arkhosia
2013-10-25, 10:09 PM
You get a malevolent greeting.

I insert Agatha Heterodyne, Girl Genius

Laughing Dog
2013-10-25, 10:14 PM
You get a letter from the gnomes that states that they surrender.

I insert a Borg drone.

Sabeki
2013-10-26, 11:47 AM
You get a Dalek.
I insert Serenity (the ship).

4here4
2013-10-26, 01:56 PM
You get a firefly in a jar.

I insert my brother.

Arkhosia
2013-10-26, 09:05 PM
You get a nepotism archon

I insert a truth archon in a jar filled with wine.
After all, In Vinum, Veritas

Laughing Dog
2013-10-26, 09:41 PM
You get a very drunk Yang Xiao Long.

I insert a very sober Weiss Schnee.

Woodzyowl
2013-10-26, 11:57 PM
You get Sir Commander Blackboard Monitor Sam Vimes.

I insert Klatchian coffee.

4here4
2013-10-28, 02:33 PM
You get knurd. You get INCREDIBLY knurd.

I insert a hat with the word "wizzard" spelled on it in sequins.

Arkhosia
2013-10-28, 02:37 PM
You get Boss Wizard!

I insert XKCD.

Quiddle
2013-10-28, 07:42 PM
You get a mole of moles.


I insert the mighty sword Oblivious!

Sabeki
2013-10-28, 07:49 PM
You get nothing.

I insert a rope.

Korith
2013-10-28, 08:55 PM
You get soap

I insert two fish: one red, the other blue.

Woodzyowl
2013-10-28, 11:38 PM
You get three fish: one A fish and two B fish.

I insert Sir Commander Blackboard Monitor Sam Vimes and my hope that he hasn't tried to arrest Laughing Dog.

Arkhosia
2013-10-29, 05:57 AM
You get 20 pairs of ten dollar boots

I insert Death the Kid (soul eater)

4here4
2013-10-29, 08:09 AM
You get Death as a depressed teenager.

I insert a Thud! board.

GuesssWho
2013-10-31, 09:02 AM
You get a Stealth Chess board.

I insert Mr. Teh-ah-tim-eh.

Sabeki
2013-10-31, 09:16 AM
You get a potato.

I insert Arkhosia.

Korith
2013-10-31, 09:47 AM
You get a potato, too.

I insert a deep fryer.

Woodzyowl
2013-10-31, 11:21 AM
You get a potato as well. Too bad you don't have a deep fryer.

I insert misanthropy.

Kneenibble
2013-10-31, 11:50 AM
You receive a spicy Goth drag queen with the stage name, Miss Anthropy. She teaches you how to walk in PVC stilettos.


I insert some marzipan from the wedding of Princess Mafalda of Savoy.

4here4
2013-10-31, 02:20 PM
You get some dry sponge cake from the elopement of Jane Cramley from Magnolia Springs, Alabama.

I insert a quantum cougar.

SterlingAvenger
2013-10-31, 02:31 PM
You get a note that reads
We were going to give Quality Cognac but drank it instead. Try Again.

I insert a Buffalo Bills Sweatshirt.

Korith
2013-10-31, 03:30 PM
You get Richard Simmons' sweatpants.

I insert Godzilla's little-known cousin Earl into the vending machine.

Arkhosia
2013-10-31, 03:32 PM
You get his little-known cousin Liz the Chameleon

I insert Dioxygen Difluoride. (http://what-if.xkcd.com/40/)

BasketOfPuppies
2013-10-31, 04:47 PM
You get frozen fire

I insert a gnome.

4here4
2013-10-31, 05:45 PM
You get a letter from the Vending Machine gnomes thanking you for turning in "Little Bart," a notorious gnome murderer and arsonist. It comes with a reward of $5.00.

I insert a troglodyte spear.

Korith
2013-11-01, 08:17 AM
You get gnome-kebabs™

I insert an irate super saiyan.

Woodzyowl
2013-11-01, 09:20 AM
You get a pirate super saiyan.

I insert girallon glue.

Sabeki
2013-11-01, 06:27 PM
You get a hot glue gun.

I insert a court of kangaroos.

GuesssWho
2013-11-01, 07:57 PM
You get the Trial of the Knave of Hearts.

I insert Chlorine Trifluoride (http://pipeline.corante.com/archives/2008/02/26/sand_wont_save_you_this_time.php).

4here4
2013-11-01, 09:38 PM
You get... well, you get burned. A lot.

I insert a vial of pixels.

Woodzyowl
2013-11-02, 12:35 AM
You get fried mushrooms.

I insert the aforemetioned mushrooms.

Sabeki
2013-11-02, 12:49 AM
You get a confused looking Hatter.

I insert American McGees Alice.

GuesssWho
2013-11-02, 03:11 AM
You get a book that explains the logic puzzles in Lewis Carroll's works.

I insert a clock that only tells what day it is and a reality in which it's always teatime.

Arkhosia
2013-11-02, 11:09 AM
You get an atomic clock

I insert Sodium

Woodzyowl
2013-11-02, 01:07 PM
You get set on fire.

I insert a half a bottle of lemon. Not lemonade or lemon juice. Just lemon.

4here4
2013-11-02, 04:29 PM
You get a half a slice of blue. Not blue jeans or the blues. Just blue.

I insert my dragons.

Laughing Dog
2013-11-03, 12:19 AM
You get a drunk fairy. Who is going on about dragons tasting good.:smalleek:

I insert Bud Abbott

Edit:@V Hmm... Iwas hoping for Lou Costello. Ah well.

Sabeki
2013-11-03, 12:21 AM
You get a monks Abbey and a little Buddy to keep with you.

I insert a monastery.

Woodzyowl
2013-11-03, 06:57 AM
You get smitten (smote?).

I insert a small wooden goat.

BasketOfPuppies
2013-11-03, 09:56 AM
You get a medium-sized wooden alpaca. It's full of mashed potatoes for some reason...

I insert some Where's Waldo? Pages with Waldo cropped out

4here4
2013-11-03, 10:37 AM
You get a red and white hat with a pom pom on the end and a pair of broken glasses.

I insert love.

Arkhosia
2013-11-03, 10:40 AM
You get a robot very happy with his emotional knowledge

I insert Mine Turtle

Dudeons
2013-11-04, 02:08 PM
You get bomb-detecting falcon!

I insert TPAM's post.

Korith
2013-11-04, 02:19 PM
You get

You get bomb-detecting falcon!

I insert TPAM's post.

I insert a Julia Set (http://mathworld.wolfram.com/JuliaSet.html) into the vending machine.

4here4
2013-11-04, 03:12 PM
You get the Stefan-Boltzmann law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stefan–Boltzmann_law).

I insert four carrion crawlers.

Sgtpepper
2013-11-05, 10:16 PM
You get a message that says: Ewww, bugs!



I throw In a cupcake.


(honestly who throws a cupcake!?)

Arkhosia
2013-11-05, 10:49 PM
You get GIR.

I insert Invader Zim

Sabeki
2013-11-05, 10:58 PM
You get an addled cartoonist. He draws you like one of his French girls.

I insert Father Callahan, from 'Salems Lot.

GuesssWho
2013-11-06, 01:50 AM
You get Mordred Deschain, from The Dark Tower. I hope you have something to feed him with.

I insert a tree filled with spiders (http://texasento.net/Social_Sp_lrg.jpg).

Zump1
2013-11-06, 04:42 AM
You get a spider with leetle tiny trees on its back, which are filled with spiders with trees on their backs, and so on.

I insert 5 new copper pieces.

4here4
2013-11-06, 03:23 PM
You receive one day's worth of trail rations.

I insert a stained-glass window.

Arkhosia
2013-11-06, 03:28 PM
You get a pure white intangible opaque block

I insert an Anti-Materiel Rifle

Sabeki
2013-11-06, 04:47 PM
You get materials.

I insert Mark Twains glorious mustache, may its whiskers never fall.

Laughing Dog
2013-11-06, 07:42 PM
You get handlebars.

I insert Link, Din, Nayru, and Farore.

4here4
2013-11-06, 09:18 PM
Don't know how they'd feel about that, but...
You get a chocolate chip cookie in the shape of a triforce.

I insert a cat who is quiet, small, and black from his ears to the tip of his tail.
I make sure he can creep through the tiniest crack and walk on the narrowest rail.

Badass Halfling
2013-11-07, 09:17 AM
You receive a beaten up and mangled ball of black hair.

I insert Rocky Balboa.

Sabeki
2013-11-07, 10:47 AM
You get a rock and a boa constrictor.

I insert Liam Neesons daughter.

SterlingAvenger
2013-11-07, 03:30 PM
You get her back, immediately and unharmed with a note that reads:
Nice try and we already texted him.

I insert Time Warner Cable.

4here4
2013-11-07, 03:33 PM
You get the Warner Brothers.

I insert a Magic Missile.

Woodzyowl
2013-11-07, 03:53 PM
You get blinded by the light.

I insert a sorcerer of prestidigitation.

Arkhosia
2013-11-07, 04:27 PM
You get cheap tricks

I insert a drider

Sabeki
2013-11-07, 05:35 PM
You get Mordred Deschain. Again. He's very hungry.

I insert a group of ponies from MLP, FiM

4here4
2013-11-07, 05:59 PM
You get the Mane Six.

I insert a shred of coconut.

Badass Halfling
2013-11-07, 06:28 PM
You receive a Snowball (The Hostess product).

I insert cheddar-onion bread.

Woodzyowl
2013-11-07, 07:08 PM
You get halitosis.

I insert confusion.

Sabeki
2013-11-09, 12:51 AM
You get facts.

I insert a tiny leetle tree.

4here4
2013-11-09, 11:53 AM
You get a bonsai mountain.

I insert a pair of well-worn leather boots.

Arkhosia
2013-11-09, 11:57 AM
You get Sam Vimes

I insert Roman Torchwick

Woodzyowl
2013-11-09, 03:07 PM
You get a roman candle.

I insert haribo.

Korith
2013-11-11, 06:30 PM
You get riboflavin supplements.

I insert an irate hippopotamus wearing a pink tutu.

4here4
2013-11-11, 06:39 PM
You get a flattened aligator.

I insert the sound of music. Not the movie. The sound.

Orm-Embar
2013-11-11, 10:57 PM
You get The Hills Have Eyes. The movie.

I insert 2d4 zombies.

Quiddle
2013-11-12, 12:17 AM
You get 1d2 necromancers


I insert my hand

Sabeki
2013-11-12, 12:47 AM
You get my foot... In your face.

I insert a hadoken.

4here4
2013-11-12, 03:51 PM
You get a Solar Beam.

I insert a shard of the Blarney Stone.

Laughing Dog
2013-11-12, 05:28 PM
You get a pot of Woad.

I insert a purchase order written in Infernal.

Orm-Embar
2013-11-12, 07:28 PM
You get receipt for one (1) soul.

I insert a set of architectural plans for a castle, complete with dungeons.

Sabeki
2013-11-12, 07:31 PM
You get a confused architect.

I insert a phylactery (not mine)

4here4
2013-11-12, 09:31 PM
You get a horcrux (not mine either)

I insert an umber hulk :smallsigh:, a purple worm :smallfrown:, a red dragon :smallfurious:, and a gray ooze :smallredface:.

Woodzyowl
2013-11-12, 10:33 PM
You get an extremely ripped note saying "Please don't. They always make such a mess." Is that blood?!?!?!

I insert blood.

D_Man_7733
2013-11-12, 11:00 PM
You get plasma

I insert my arm up to my shoulder (which is still connected to my body).

Eternis
2013-11-13, 05:14 AM
You get an army.
I insert a barrel of ale.

SterlingAvenger
2013-11-13, 09:01 AM
You get back a drunk dwarf with a monkey.

I insert a humidifier.

Orm-Embar
2013-11-13, 09:17 AM
You get back a box of cigars.

I insert headphones.

4here4
2013-11-13, 03:53 PM
You get a ringing in your ears. Bu-dum-Tish! :smallsmile:

I insert Pirate_Tinman.

Sabeki
2013-11-13, 06:19 PM
You get a hunk of rust.

I insert my Airship Pirates!

Orm-Embar
2013-11-14, 09:31 AM
You get a bunch of inflated balloons on strings.

I insert a pack of chewing gum Dire Wolves.

DarkLightDragon
2013-11-22, 11:17 PM
You get a plate of venison.

I insert my toothbrush.

inuyasha
2013-11-23, 01:24 AM
You get a large boar tusk with shark teeth duct taped to the end of it

I insert a hot pocket

D_Man_7733
2013-11-23, 01:36 AM
You get a pair of flaming pants

I insert a foot (the human body part)

Laughing Dog
2013-11-23, 01:52 AM
You get a hand.

I insert a blade.

DarkLightDragon
2013-11-23, 02:55 AM
You get a cloak.

I insert a pokeball.

Orm-Embar
2013-11-23, 10:54 AM
You get an engraved invitation to a duel.

I insert a blank notebook.

Dudeons
2013-11-23, 01:57 PM
You get the Death Note!

I insert Sebastian Michaelis.

D_Man_7733
2013-11-24, 01:33 AM
You get a pedobear doll

I insert an eyepatch.

Laughing Dog
2013-11-24, 12:35 PM
You get a katana that has a rather ragged edge.

I insert an oversized butcher knife.

Orm-Embar
2013-11-24, 01:38 PM
You get a ginormous steak. Raw.

I insert a potted plant.

SterlingAvenger
2013-11-24, 03:35 PM
You get a pot plant.


I insert a dead catgirl.

inuyasha
2013-11-27, 09:02 PM
you get an undead dog man

i insert a quarter and press the button for doritos

Sabeki
2013-11-27, 11:53 PM
You get a bag of Dorïtos, which are similar, but speak out in German when you eat them.

I insert the City. Not a city, but The City.

4here4
2013-12-02, 05:24 PM
You Get A Bunch Of Capital Letters.

I insert tropical laser beams.

Laughing Dog
2013-12-02, 05:48 PM
You get a Hawaiian magical girl.

I insert Wabbajack

Passive Pete
2013-12-02, 06:03 PM
You receive a guy named Jack going "Wabba, wabba!" again and again.

I insert a one-dollar bill and 2 quarters.

D_Man_7733
2013-12-02, 06:18 PM
You get a platypus.

I insert half of a platypus.

Dudeons
2013-12-02, 06:52 PM
You get a beaver and a duck.

I insert two chainzs.

4here4
2013-12-03, 03:33 PM
You get a chain gang. And their leader, Billy Chain-link, wants you to pay up before things get ugly.

I insert a book written by my cat.

Blood_caller
2013-12-03, 05:31 PM
You get the a ticket to cats on broadway

I insert my left foot

Passive Pete
2013-12-03, 05:33 PM
You hear a grinding noise, and pull out the stump that used to be a whole leg.

I insert some sugarplums. Happy Holidays!

Orm-Embar
2013-12-03, 07:27 PM
You get a hat! (welcome by the way, and happy holidays too)

I insert a tavern fully stocked with hard-drinking adventurers.

4here4
2013-12-03, 09:05 PM
You get a stereotypical campaign beginning.

I insert a bag of magic legumes.

GuesssWho
2013-12-05, 06:27 AM
You get an irate giant.

I insert a skeleton woman (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AXmzBVxcjI).

Dudeons
2013-12-06, 01:21 PM
You get a supermodel.

I insert Techno.

Orm-Embar
2013-12-06, 07:32 PM
You get a beatdown.

I insert caltrops.

4here4
2013-12-06, 08:53 PM
You get an oil slick.

I insert no more and no less than thirteen hundred buckets of fiddler crabs.

Laughing Dog
2013-12-07, 12:41 AM
You get your goblin tribe decimated by angry gnomes.

I insert the vending machine into the Wabbajack.

GuesssWho
2013-12-07, 05:17 PM
You get a long, psychotic, oddly hilarious rant from the Madgod.

I insert the last words of Dutch Shultz.

Arkhosia
2013-12-07, 07:10 PM
You get a Dutchman named Charles

I insert Crescent Rose (A scythe. It's also a gun)

4here4
2013-12-07, 07:14 PM
You get a beautifully smelling croissant that also fires tiny scythes!

I insert a hunk of burning love.

Blood_caller
2013-12-12, 06:01 PM
You get cold hate from the gnomes.

I insert The "other" ring

Quiddle
2013-12-16, 10:29 PM
You get married!

I insert a ps4

BasketOfPuppies
2013-12-16, 11:01 PM
You get an Xbox One and a letter of apology about how horrible your trade-off was.

I insert a tree that was cut down with a herring.

Laughing Dog
2013-12-16, 11:54 PM
Ni! Ni! Ni! You get a knight that says Ni!

I insert the business end of a cannon. I then light the fuse.

4here4
2013-12-17, 03:27 PM
You get a dull boom and lots of smoke pours out of the vending machine.

I insert true love's first kiss.

Dudeons
2013-12-17, 04:04 PM
You get a headless husband and wife.

I stick my head in the vending machine and sing the 'Modern-Major General' song as loud as I can.

Blood_caller
2013-12-18, 06:17 PM
You get beheaded and your head commes out in a paper bag

I insert said head in a paper bag

Targ Collective
2013-12-23, 10:58 AM
You get a mysteriously fully healed and reincarnated Dudeons....

I insert a 1:1 scale model of the Universe.

Arkhosia
2013-12-25, 11:12 PM
You get a black hole.

I insert a stethoscope and a katana

Lifscuetorya
2013-12-25, 11:47 PM
You get the game Ninjadoctor - play as a ninja while curing sickness!


I insert a zerg rush.

GuesssWho
2013-12-26, 01:05 AM
You get the main character of Worm.

I insert a bonesaw.

eidreff
2013-12-27, 05:52 PM
You get arthritis.

I insert how old I feel right now.

Gnomish Wanderer
2013-12-28, 08:53 PM
You get an ancient jibbering horror who endlessly talks about how old it is and how things were so much better a few millennia ago.

I insert karmic payback.

Arkhosia
2013-12-28, 09:10 PM
You get an ancient jibbering horror who endlessly talks about how old it is and how things were so much better a few millennia ago.

I insert karmic payback.

You get luck: both types.

I insert a ninja on fire

Dudeons
2013-12-29, 12:48 AM
You get a cryogenically preserved samurai.

I insert every person who's ever posted on this thread, and I dive in after them.

GuesssWho
2013-12-29, 01:03 AM
You get an Olympic swimming pool.

I insert a mildly irritated sea serpent.

Laughing Dog
2013-12-29, 08:10 PM
A tentacle rips out of the dispensing slot, pulling you into the machine.

I shove an adventuring party in to go rescue GuesssWho.

Blood_caller
2013-12-30, 07:07 PM
The machine spits out GuesssWho and all other who have posted in this tread, but the adventuring party is never seen agein.

I insert a new years dinner for the gnomes and a lit dunamite to give them some fireworks to enjoy while eating

Gnomish Wanderer
2013-12-30, 07:12 PM
You get a small thank you note back that happens to explain that the writer prepared explosive runes that morning.

I insert a dark and foreboding prophecy.

Orm-Embar
2013-12-30, 09:38 PM
You get ominous music.

I insert a fistful of broken glass.

Arkhosia
2013-12-30, 09:44 PM
You get ominous music.

I insert a fistful of broken glass.

You get a glass pain pane.

I insert Mine Turtle

Dudeons
2013-12-30, 09:50 PM
You get Kamikaze Duck!

I insert all of my Facebook profile pictures.

GuesssWho
2013-12-31, 03:43 AM
You get everyone else's profile photos.

I insert a bunch of unspirational posters.

Orm-Embar
2013-12-31, 07:00 PM
You get a collection of inspirational posters: the ones in this thread, actually.

I insert a fortune cookie.

V count 'em again.

Passive Pete
2013-12-31, 11:40 PM
You hear a crunching noise, a chewing noise, and then receive a small slip of paper that lists a few "lucky numbers" and reads the following fortune: "You will not post in this thread until 3 more people have".

I insert 2014, 1 hour and twenty minutes before it hits me.

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2013-12-31, 11:48 PM
You receive the year 2261. A year of fire, a year of destruction, the year we take back what was ours. The year of rebirth, and of great sadness. A year of pain, and of joy. It is a new age. It is the end of history. It is the year everything changes.

I insert the name of the place: Babylon 5.

eidreff
2014-01-04, 05:44 PM
You receive a Voorlon with nothing to say but enigmatic, vaguely foreboding "stuff"

I insert a micro-particle filter.

Gnomish Wanderer
2014-01-04, 06:00 PM
You get a handful of microparticles and a thank-you note.

I insert a young person on a quest to restore their honor during which they will clearly learn and gain much more than they expected or even knew they wanted.

Arkhosia
2014-01-04, 06:00 PM
You get TvTropes.

I insert the contents of this forum's FFRP section

Sabeki
2014-01-04, 06:12 PM
You get the unrelenting chaos of a thousand madmen. However, we all seem to now be remarkably saner!

1000111010011011011011110111001 (I insert binary nonsense.)

Blood_caller
2014-01-04, 07:25 PM
You get 8e 9b 6f 39 HEX

I insert a small note with the text:
Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
Translated to gnomish!

Passive Pete
2014-01-05, 11:52 PM
You get a note that reads the following:
Lorem ipsum scriptum est in commentariis inserere qui modo

I insert that one guy in that one boat in that one scene in the Hobbit 2.

Targ Collective
2014-01-06, 04:12 PM
You get his biography: The Life of an Incidental Character - Hobbit Times

I insert every malicious wish granting entity in existence into the vending machine, along with every wish-twisting thread EVER.

kiapet
2014-01-06, 05:50 PM
You get a certificate for one free wish. Good luck with that.
I insert a Player's Handbook.

Arkhosia
2014-01-06, 05:54 PM
You get about a million character sheets, each one bearing a unique PC, with all combinations on the sheets

I insert RWBY

D_Man_7733
2014-01-06, 06:13 PM
You get a ring of deny physics.

I insert physics.

Targ Collective
2014-01-06, 08:44 PM
You get maths.

I insert maths.

Laughing Dog
2014-01-06, 11:05 PM
You get a peanut.

I insert the Borg Queen, and then run far and fast.

Blood_caller
2014-01-07, 03:35 AM
You gets a tractor beam that sucks you int the cube/machine

I insert world peace we don't needs it

D_Man_7733
2014-01-07, 04:18 AM
You get world pieces.

I insert "The god of a new world"

GuesssWho
2014-01-07, 05:12 AM
You get the God-Emperor of Mankind.

I insert Papa Nurgle.

Targ Collective
2014-01-07, 02:31 PM
You get Khorne.

I insert the Mercury Djinni Dew.

Laughing Dog
2014-01-07, 02:51 PM
You get Mia.

I insert Sheba.

eulmanis12
2014-01-08, 12:19 AM
You get Shiva

I insert 15,987,324 nickels

D_Man_7733
2014-01-08, 12:48 AM
You get alphabet soup.

I insert a portable hole.

Targ Collective
2014-01-08, 04:28 AM
You get a roadrunner.

I insert the Sol Brand.

Laughing Dog
2014-01-08, 08:34 AM
You get Megiddo. In the face :smalleek:

I insert the snow that came down yesterday afternoon.

kiapet
2014-01-08, 12:51 PM
You get -20 degrees Fahrenheit.

I insert an adorable kitten.

AKA_Bait
2014-01-08, 01:24 PM
You get a Rakshasa.

I insert a handful of caltrops.

4here4
2014-01-08, 03:42 PM
You get a bunch of Legos in the dark.

I insert a file marked "Urgen"

Targ Collective
2014-01-08, 05:27 PM
You get a cup of T.

I insert the Teleport Lapis.

kiapet
2014-01-09, 01:03 PM
You get a Teleport Psynergy.
I insert a calculus textbook.

AKA_Bait
2014-01-09, 02:27 PM
You get a scroll of the spell Sleep.

I insert a wall-mounted demon head sculpture with a Sphere of Annihilation in its mouth.

4here4
2014-01-09, 03:04 PM
You get a seriously ticked off adventuring party.

I insert a cordless telephone with a cord taped to it.

Orm-Embar
2014-01-09, 06:53 PM
You get an angry phone call.

I insert an assortment of swords.

Dudeons
2014-01-09, 07:42 PM
You get a munchkin!

I insert my favorite YouTube channels.

kiapet
2014-01-09, 08:45 PM
You get trolls.

I insert a bathtub.

Blood_caller
2014-01-10, 02:30 AM
You get a italian plumber who likes to eat fungus.

I insert plan 9 from outer space

AKA_Bait
2014-01-10, 10:31 AM
You get a barely sober Johnny Depp.

I insert a Deck of Many Things.

Arkhosia
2014-01-10, 02:45 PM
You get misfortune.

I insert Richard Castle and Kate Beckett.

Korith
2014-01-10, 04:22 PM
You get a scroll of Raise Pixel, which allows to to bring a dead pixel on any device back to life.

I insert a scroll of Confusion into the vending machine.

4here4
2014-01-10, 04:24 PM
You get Confused! Korith hurt itself in its confusion!

I insert my cape and sword.

D_Man_7733
2014-01-10, 04:31 PM
You get my axe!

I insert a tired and overused plot device.

GuesssWho
2014-01-10, 10:24 PM
You get TV Tropes.

I insert Cracked.

Orm-Embar
2014-01-11, 01:39 PM
You get Sovereign Glue.

I insert a lobster.

Blood_caller
2014-01-11, 02:22 PM
You get the closest famely member of a freshwater*crayfish

I insert the void

Targ Collective
2014-01-11, 05:27 PM
You get Light.

I quickly nab the Light you got and insert that.

Recherché
2014-01-11, 05:45 PM
You receive a newly created small handheld universe

I insert the god of said universe

AKA_Bait
2014-01-13, 12:57 PM
You receive a very polite man in a suit handing out leaflets.

I insert a tanglefoot bag.

Arkhosia
2014-01-13, 02:29 PM
You get a sack of entwined appendages.

I insert Catbug

Targ Collective
2014-01-14, 01:49 AM
You get an unstable portal gun.

I insert the Blaze Psynergy.

Dudeons
2014-01-14, 10:52 AM
You get Blaze the cat.

I insert my favorite MLP episode.

kiapet
2014-01-14, 12:40 PM
You get Twilight's letter about what she learned about friendship today. Cherish it forever.

I insert a fire alarm.

D_Man_7733
2014-01-14, 03:31 PM
You get alarmed fire. Raised free range of course.

I insert the worlds supply of testosterone.

Arkhosia
2014-01-14, 03:46 PM
You get alarmed fire. Raised free range of course.

I insert the worlds supply of testosterone.

You get the biggest supply of pick-up trucks, guns, and explosions ever.


I insert Jeremy Clarkson

AKA_Bait
2014-01-14, 03:56 PM
You get Kelly Clarkson.

I insert a season ticket to the New York Yankees.

Quiddle
2014-01-16, 01:33 AM
You get a jar of orc urine no one knows why the vending machine does what it does.

I insert the improbability drive.

Targ Collective
2014-01-16, 01:38 AM
You get the much more stable and boring probability drive.

I insert the Mars Star.

GuesssWho
2014-01-16, 02:22 AM
You get a Mars Bar.

I insert Venus, just for a change.

AKA_Bait
2014-01-16, 09:47 AM
You get Aphrodite.

I insert a Dire Chipmunk.

Blood_caller
2014-01-16, 10:55 AM
You get a miniature Giant space hamsters

I insert Baldurs Backdoor

Orm-Embar
2014-01-16, 02:47 PM
You get Steam.

I insert scrambled eggs.

G.Cube
2014-01-17, 12:11 AM
You get an angry mother cockatrice.

I insert a gelatinous cube wearing urban stylized clothing.