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sumkidy
2013-11-07, 01:39 AM
I have devised for my game a book called "The Book of Potatoes". Written on the first page is "Want to be a mage? Simply turn this page, read the words and lo, spuds of magic in you shall grow!"

This book is actually a fraud. It itself is actually a magic item, an enchanted book written in the fey tongue (which is always in rhyme). It translates itself to the reader's tongue (remaining in rhyme). The pages contain 'spells' in the form of rhymes which when read aloud have a particular effect.

I need some help coming up with short rhymes or bits of poetry (using any ambit and rhyme scheme) for these spells.

I've thought of a few so far:
Summon Potato:
Potato brown
Potato blue
Eat the first
Or you shall spew!

Effect depends upon the word used [need ideas for an edit here]:
One potato
Two potato
Three potato
*any one-syllable word which must rhyme with “four”* (WARNING! Do not EVER say four!)
Eg: Lore will tell you more than you ever wished or needed to know about potatoes; Bore has a half chance of creating a hole in the ground big enough to fit a potato or of temporarily making the closest person into a boring couch potato

Summons an expanding potato which is then thrown at the back of the reader’s head from behind:
Perfect, behind the subject,
Ontological and morphological,
Telescopic and gyroscopic
Alacritous,and suddenly tonitruous
Terse, a trick so perverse
Occipital, deliciously despicable
(The slower this is read, the bigger the thrown potato will be [the page has an notation advising to read this one slowly]) When the reader is not holding the book they cannot cast any of the spells.

Scarce
2013-11-07, 04:42 PM
I really like this! (Remind me of the Book of Misspeled Spells in my home campaign.)

As I'm not particularly good at poetry, I can remind you that there are some easily abuseable nursery rhymes from which to steal meter, rhyme scheme, and actual content if you so desire. I'm sure you can find a pretty exhaustive list (http://www.nurseryrhymes.com/) somewhere.

malmblad
2013-11-07, 04:54 PM
Summon Hot Potato:
From the oven I hail
Hold me and you will fail
Catch me for the thrill
Throw me for the chill

Razanir
2013-11-07, 04:56 PM
One potato
Two potato
Three potato
Four (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SchmuckBait)

But seriously, though, what DOES happen if you say "four"

Shining Wrath
2013-11-07, 05:26 PM
This spud I cast
Towards thee at last
It makes you slow
And makes me fast!

[Slow on target, haste on caster]

I hurl this spud at thee
It brings you misery
For it has eyes round about
But you shall have eyes all shut

[Blindness]

Mr. Whatever
2013-11-07, 06:36 PM
This potato of powers,
In my hand.
Cares not for flowers,
only sand!

Defoliate!

Potato Potato,
you're never wrong!
Don't make me bigger,
just make me strong!

Either Ant Haul or Bull's Strength

nedz
2013-11-07, 08:11 PM
Summon Plot
Three potatoes for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the ...

As researched by the French White Mage, who wobbles on a plate.

Malimar
2013-11-07, 08:19 PM
Effect depends upon the word used [need ideas for an edit here]:
One potato
Two potato
Three potato
*any one-syllable word which must rhyme with “four”* (WARNING! Do not EVER say four!)
Eg: Lore will tell you more than you ever wished or needed to know about potatoes; Bore has a half chance of creating a hole in the ground big enough to fit a potato or of temporarily making the closest person into a boring couch potato

...Boar! It's the porcine version of that one feat that lets you rebuke hippopotamuses!

...Ore! You get buried in cheap ore!

...Thor! You get hit by lightning!

...Floor! Get across pit traps!

...Store! Summons a magic mart in conveniently within the dungeon!

...Whore! WAIT NO NEVER MIND I'M OUT.

SassyQuatch
2013-11-07, 08:39 PM
Clash and crash, mix and mash!
Spice and cream fold in.
Butter and milk, turn to silk.
Light as midsummer wind.

sumkidy
2013-11-08, 04:57 AM
Great ideas so far, really cracking me up!!

To further continue this thread:

Teleports the reader and persons within a 10ft radius to the Potato Kingdom
Praise all scented flowers of fancy
Sip nectar from fruit ere it is peeled,
But give thanks to the common old tater
For, in fact, he is King of the Field.
Lo, the lord of the Tuber dynasty,
In his rowed halls dug from the mud;
We shall kneel at the Court before Edward
And crown him with glory, Lord of Spud
(I got this from the title page of 'The Anthology of the Potato' and edited it quite a bit)

Allows the user flight, however they cannot discern direction (and thus fly anywhere with intent) because their mind is overcome with wishes to get to "France".
Tell me no lies
To France I shall fly
A kingdom fabled far-off
Where they serve French fries

Potato Skin Spell (Not sure what it does, perhaps similar to Barkskin?)
Russets are red
Adirondacks are blue
This skin protects me
And now it will you

Assigns The Masher a new contract... The reader, who it will come for in 2d10 days (When he arrives he may possibly be announced by a faint jingling with voices whispering song on the wind "Do you know the Mashing Man?")
To market to market
To feed my spuds
To market to market
Watered with blood
Fertilised with flesh pasties, pastries, and pies
Drinking in sunlight from readers' cries
Meal from bone to help me home-grow
Now you have read, and shall reap what you've sown

sumkidy
2013-11-08, 05:03 AM
@Scarce

Great idea, but did you know the site you sent actually had a potato poem ready? XD

http://www.nurseryrhymes.com/A_Big_Fat_Potato