AlCndnRjct
2013-11-18, 01:26 PM
I noticed there's an older thread of these but it's closed now so I thought I'd get the ball rolling again. Post your funny D&D stories.
I'll start. Current campaign played usually over roll20. D&D 3.5e DM's fully detailed world with history and ****. I go over to my friends' place as they are in the same city as me and we use our laptops. On of my friends is playing a human paladin, the other friend a tyfeling rouge. The other people over roll20 are the DM and a player playing a human fighter. I'm a dwarven cleric with ADD. So we go to a fairly nice city in a place with no central authority. Sort of like Ancient Greece with its city-states. So we go to this town and the party stops in an inn. I go off to get my flail enchanted. While I'm off, the party is arrested for breaking the law of "our countess is a corrupt evil bitch so **** you". The rouge/assassin manages to escape custody and kill a couple guards with his ****huege death attack of doom. He runs off. I, meanwhile, have just left the enchanter and am on my way back to the inn. A couple guards stop me and ask who I am. I reply with the truth (no metagaming) and they try to arrest me. I hold person one of them and cast darkness. I kill the non-held one and run away through the alley. I make my way back to the inn now fully aware that I am wanted. The bartender had been stabbed by the rouge so I tend to his wound in exchange for him hiding me. Unluckily, a guard walks in and pots me kneeling behind the counter. He asks who I am and I reply that I'm just a dwarf. He tries to arrest me. Now the guards in this city have been built for grappling and using rope so he tries to grapple me and tie me up. I manage to get my hand free and cast create water on his mouth. The DM had said that a person can be considered a container. I am level 7 so that means 14 gallons of water appear in his body. He fails his fortitude save. DM takes like a minute to describe in horrifying detail the spectacle I have just created from eyes bulging to gasping and clawing for air. The man drowns in a horrifying fashion. Everyone in the inn faints. DM tells me to roll a high will save. One natural 20 later and me and the rouge player are rolling on the floor laughing our asses off at my stone faced murder. DM nerfs create water so it's effectively useless now.
I'll start. Current campaign played usually over roll20. D&D 3.5e DM's fully detailed world with history and ****. I go over to my friends' place as they are in the same city as me and we use our laptops. On of my friends is playing a human paladin, the other friend a tyfeling rouge. The other people over roll20 are the DM and a player playing a human fighter. I'm a dwarven cleric with ADD. So we go to a fairly nice city in a place with no central authority. Sort of like Ancient Greece with its city-states. So we go to this town and the party stops in an inn. I go off to get my flail enchanted. While I'm off, the party is arrested for breaking the law of "our countess is a corrupt evil bitch so **** you". The rouge/assassin manages to escape custody and kill a couple guards with his ****huege death attack of doom. He runs off. I, meanwhile, have just left the enchanter and am on my way back to the inn. A couple guards stop me and ask who I am. I reply with the truth (no metagaming) and they try to arrest me. I hold person one of them and cast darkness. I kill the non-held one and run away through the alley. I make my way back to the inn now fully aware that I am wanted. The bartender had been stabbed by the rouge so I tend to his wound in exchange for him hiding me. Unluckily, a guard walks in and pots me kneeling behind the counter. He asks who I am and I reply that I'm just a dwarf. He tries to arrest me. Now the guards in this city have been built for grappling and using rope so he tries to grapple me and tie me up. I manage to get my hand free and cast create water on his mouth. The DM had said that a person can be considered a container. I am level 7 so that means 14 gallons of water appear in his body. He fails his fortitude save. DM takes like a minute to describe in horrifying detail the spectacle I have just created from eyes bulging to gasping and clawing for air. The man drowns in a horrifying fashion. Everyone in the inn faints. DM tells me to roll a high will save. One natural 20 later and me and the rouge player are rolling on the floor laughing our asses off at my stone faced murder. DM nerfs create water so it's effectively useless now.