A Pirate Needs A Pet

[Rasman]

All pirate captains need a pet of some kind. It should be a rule, really. Right now, I am playing a 5e Fighter that just so happens to be a Pirate, but he doesn't have a pet. I decided that, on next level, he's going to take the Arcane Initiate feat so he can get the spell "Find Familiar" as his first level spell and attain one.

The question is, what kind of pet should he take?

A parrot makes sense since they can 'kinda' talk in 5e, since I would be allowed to base them off the Raven that can mimic sounds and fly at 25', or I could do a Monkey if I wanted a pet that I could put in tiny suits, they would be based on the 5e Weasel which get +5 to Climb and +5 to Stealth. I could also get a Cat that gets the same +5 to Stealth and also subtracts 20 feet from fall damage, and an Owl with 40' Dark Vision, a Snake with the +5 to Stealth and a +5 to its Initiative. The other choices are either dumb or have the same stats as those already mentioned.

So, thoughts? Opinions? Random Banter?

[avr]

Something which can fly is more likely to be handy than something which can climb. Are 5e owls sneaky at all? They should be, really.

A parrot might be too cliched. Up to you.

[Rasman]

The current traits are as such.

Tiny Celestial, Fey, or Fiend Armor Class 12 Hit Points 10 + 2 hp for each of your levels beyond 3rd
Speed 20 ft.
Str 2 (–4)
Dex 12 (+1)
Con 6 (–2)
Int 2 (–4)
Wis 10 (+0)
Cha 2 (–4)

So, they have a +1 to Steath, since it is a Dex Skill. Currently, however, I can't find anything that gives a size bonus to stealth. Although I will keep looking since I haven't been though all the files yet.

EDIT: Here are the full details of the spell.

Find Familiar 1st-*‐level conjuration (ritual)
Casting Time: 1 day Range: Self Duration: Permanent

You gain the service of a familiar, a spirit that takes an animal form you choose. The familiar has the following statistics.
Familiar Tiny Celestial, Fey, or Fiend Armor Class 12 Hit Points 10 + 2 hp for each of your levels beyond 3rd Speed 20 ft.
Str 2 (–4)
Dex 12 (+1)
Con 6 (–2)
Int 2 (–4)
Wis 10 (+0)
Cha 2 (–4)

TRAITS Familiar: When the familiar drops to 0 hit points, it disappears, leaving behind no physical form. The familiar cannot reappear until you recall it by performing a minor ritual during a short rest.

TRAITS BY TYPE Bat: Cannot be blinded; has darkvision with a range of 20 feet; has a speed of 5 feet and a fly speed of 20 feet.

Cat: Gains a +5 bonus to Dexterity (Stealth) checks; subtracts 20 feet from any fall when determining falling damage against it.

Hawk: Has a speed of 5 feet and a fly speed of 30 feet.

Owl: Has darkvision with a range of 40 feet; has a speed of 5 feet and a fly speed of 25 feet.

Rat: Gains a +5 bonus to all Strength checks to climb and a +5 bonus to Dexterity (Stealth) checks.

Raven: Has a speed of 5 feet and a fly speed of 25 feet; can mimic simple sounds (such as a person whispering, a baby crying, or a small animal chittering).

Snake: Gains a +5 bonus to Dexterity (Stealth) checks, and a +5 bonus when rolling its initiative.

Toad: Can jump up to 10 feet.

Weasel: Gains a +5 bonus to all Strength checks to climb and a +5 bonus to Dexterity (Stealth) checks.

Your familiar acts independently of you, but it always obeys your commands. In combat, it rolls its own initiative and acts on its own turn. A familiar cannot make attacks. While you are within 100 feet of your familiar, you can communicate with it telepathically. Additionally, as an action, you can see through your familiar’s eyes and hear what it hears until the start of your next turn, gaining the benefits of any special senses that the familiar has. During this time, you are deaf and blind with regard to your own senses. Finally, while within 100 feet of your familiar, you can have it deliver a spell on your turn that requires touching a creature. The familiar touches the creature on your behalf, provided nothing is preventing it from taking actions. If the spell requires an attack roll, you use your attack modifier for the roll. You can release the familiar at any time. Doing so ends the effect. You cannot have more than one familiar at a time.

Material Components: A brass brazier, charcoal, and incense and herbs worth 100 gp. The brazier is not consumed when you cast the spell.

[JHShadon]

I don't know anything about 5e so I'm just going to say a crazy idea that may or may not be reasonably achievable; tame a giant shark, or a kraken, or some other sea monster.

[Rasman]

I don't know anything about 5e so I'm just going to say a crazy idea that may or may not be reasonably achievable; tame a giant shark, or a kraken, or some other sea monster.

While I like this idea, it's a little dangerous to mention the Kraken around this particular DM...bad things happen...very bad things...may be even worse since there's a tentacle hentai joke about me with this group because of how much I like anime...I don't think it would end well...

[pasko77]

Is it feasible to retcon the fighter as a ranger? So you have the animal companion (in 3rd edition, at least, I stopped caring about 5e after the third playtest or something).

[avr]

That mimic simple sounds ability seems to be less even a mundane parrot's ability to mimic speech. I'd put no weight on it and just give my owl a written message to carry when relevant.

Interesting that 5e familiars are entirely disposable.

[JHShadon]

While I like this idea, it's a little dangerous to mention the Kraken around this particular DM...bad things happen...very bad things...may be even worse since there's a tentacle hentai joke about me with this group because of how much I like anime...I don't think it would end well...

Well there are other sea monsters, but if your going with the familiar idea I would go with a hawk because I think they're cool, although an owl would be great for scouting at night.

[Rasman]

Well there are other sea monsters, but if your going with the familiar idea I would go with a hawk because I think they're cool, although an owl would be great for scouting at night.

It also doesn't say that they need to sleep since they are technically magical, so they could be our 24/7 Alarm. Didn't think about that until you mentioned them scouting at night.


That mimic simple sounds ability seems to be less even a mundane parrot's ability to mimic speech. I'd put no weight on it and just give my owl a written message to carry when relevant.

Interesting that 5e familiars are entirely disposable.

Yeah, I don't know if that will stay that way or not. I figure that this is because they come from a spell, rather than a feat.

In terms of the simple sounds. I figure a parrot being able to say some simple words MIGHT count in that regard. I guess it depends on the DMs point of view. Although, based on experience with parrots, they can't really carry out lengthy conversations, except in rare situations of course. The 'words' they speak tend to be very simple in nature anyway, so I think the argument could be made that they can speak to a small extent. Something like the parrot screaming 'Help!' or 'Fire!' or something like that would seem feasible.


Is it feasible to retcon the fighter as a ranger? So you have the animal companion (in 3rd edition, at least, I stopped caring about 5e after the third playtest or something).

Sadly, no. On top of that, Rangers do not get animal companions in 5e. Not for free anyway. They might have a shot at befriending creatures the hard way, but they don't get to just have them.

[Socratov]

I'd say you need a pet kraken.

Why? It can help you in naval combat en it is plain awesome. Other pirates have a parrot? Boring. You have a Kraken! plus I'd allow it to be put on the grid using one of these bottles (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Xy-2EB09i4Y/Tc2aD-bVtoI/AAAAAAAAAO8/EVoihWXBjlo/s1600/Kraken.jpg).

[Rasman]

I'd say you need a pet kraken.

Why? It can help you in naval combat en it is plain awesome. Other pirates have a parrot? Boring. You have a Kraken! plus I'd allow it to be put on the grid using one of these bottles (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Xy-2EB09i4Y/Tc2aD-bVtoI/AAAAAAAAAO8/EVoihWXBjlo/s1600/Kraken.jpg).

lol...you all seem to REALLY want me to have a pet Kraken

...maybe I'll see if I can get a baby Kraken...but...when we're not in the ocean, how will I use it?...

[Socratov]

lol...you all seem to REALLY want me to have a pet Kraken

...maybe I'll see if I can get a baby Kraken...but...when we're not in the ocean, how will I use it?...

Simple: you throw it like a pokemon :smallbiggrin:

Also, you need to call him/her/it Tentacruel, and you need to adjust the angle of your hat when you throw it :smallcool:

[Red Rubber Band]

Fiendish Weasel. Dress him up in a sailor's costume.

Hmm. I was watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit? last night :smallsmile:

[MonochromeTiger]

fiendish half dragon parrot! at first it looks like a cliche...then it looks like a FIRE BREATHING DEMONIC CLICHE!!!

[Evandar]

a ) A parrot is the time-honored tradition.

b ) Is your avatar that dude from Full Metal Alchemist?

c ) Probably is. That's awesome.

[Joe the Rat]

Right now, I am playing a 5e Fighter that just so happens to be a Pirate, but he doesn't have a pet. I decided that, on next level, he's going to take the Arcane Initiate feat so he can get the spell "Find Familiar" as his first level spell and attain one.
Blammo? Is that you?

Given the "it's still being worked on" nature of 5e, getting an Animal Companion as a Feat wouldn't be too out of bounds. But I can see the advantages of having a not-quite-natural

For good Pirate Familiars: Parrot, Monkey, Viper, Moderately sized constrictor, Octopus (small)(inexplicably amphibious), Raven, Seahorse, Tiny Dragon... Skeletal monkey... (http://yppedia.puzzlepirates.com/Familiar)

[Red Fel]

I would go with a cat. Seriously, hear me out.

Pirates are notorious for existing as mockeries of cultivation. A pirate will often dress in the collected remnants of various wealthy victims of his pillaging, resulting in a disorderly, chaotic, motley calico of attire. (As I recall, "Calico Jack" was a pirate's title. Guess how he got it.) They often affect the speech patterns and vocabulary of the privileged classes, because at the end of the day, they want to be rich, too; despite this, they also drink, swear, and whore their way up and down the coast. So you want a pet that can simultaneously come across as classy and trashy.

Enter the cat. Cats are classy. They are elegant, detached, smooth - kitty is a classy animal. Now picture a cat who, like its pirate owner, has been living on a ship for months. Its fur is matted. Its ear is bent, or possibly even has a hole (or a kitty earring!). It's mangy, slimmed, and possibly scarred. Yet it still carries itself as an animal of breeding and cultivation, despite its surroundings. Classy-trashy.

The cat is also the picture of casual ruthlessness. When idle, it looks useless- a fat blob of fur that spends its time basking in the sun and doing nothing. Much like its drunken pirate compatriots. But when the claws come out, cats hearken back to their ancestral memories. They are hunters. They are killers. They can slay a commoner and think nothing of it. They are ruthless when they have to be, much like their pirate compatriots.

A cat is also a very practical animal to have on a ship. One of the most common dangers is rodents in the food stores. Cats can take care of that problem quite effectively.

Finally, a cat is a great fashion accessory. Think of the styled pirate captain, in his finest breeches and tunic, his mustache freshly waxed and his hook freshly shined. Now picture a well-groomed white cat glowering quietly from his shoulder. The ladies love it, of course.

Short version: Buck the trend. Pick a cat.

[MonochromeTiger]

Short version: Buck the trend. Pick a cat.
how is picking the ultimate pet that fits every situation and character bucking the trend?

[Red Rubber Band]

how is picking the ultimate pet that fits every situation and character bucking the trend?

Because no one else has described it quite like he has.

Or because no one's first pick for an animal that will spend most of it's time surrounded by water is Cat.

[MonochromeTiger]

Because no one else has described it quite like he has.

Or because no one's first pick for an animal that will spend most of it's time surrounded by water is Cat.

some cats like water. they're also awesome. the question I have is why no one thought "cat" as the most obvious answer when hearing that someone needs a pet except when someone wanted to go away from normal.

[Red Rubber Band]

some cats like water. they're also awesome. the question I have is why no one thought "cat" as the most obvious answer when hearing that someone needs a pet except when someone wanted to go away from normal.

Because he's a pirate. Now while I agree that everyone should have a cat as a pet, because, let's face it they're awesome, a pirate is synonymous with parrot making the parrot the obvious choice.
Of course there have been pirates who have had other pets, but parrot es representante numero uno.

Let's start a global charge!
Cats for pirate shoulders! (Woo, yay, I'm pregnant!)
Not birds! (Boo, hiss, meow)

[MonochromeTiger]

Because he's a pirate. Now while I agree that everyone should have a cat as a pet, because, let's face it they're awesome, a pirate is synonymous with parrot making the parrot the obvious choice.
Of course there have been pirates who have had other pets, but parrot es representante numero uno.

Let's start a global charge!
Cats for pirate shoulders! (Woo, yay, I'm pregnant!)
Not birds! (Boo, hiss, meow)

*holds up sign saying "down with polly, up with poly-dactyl cats!"*

[Red Fel]

Now, if you're an eeeeeevil pirate (and not just Evil, eeeeeevil, with six e's for eeeeeextra eeeeeemphasis) you might go with a more sinister kitty. May I suggest domesticating a Tibbit? They seem to be all the rage nowadays.

[Red Rubber Band]

Now, if you're an eeeeeevil pirate (and not just Evil, eeeeeevil, with six e's for eeeeeextra eeeeeemphasis) you might go with a more sinister kitty. May I suggest domesticating a Tibbit? They seem to be all the rage nowadays.

Omg. How could I forget? You could have a Tortle!

... aaaaaand (6 a's for added amphasis) once again my mind wanders to the anthropomorphic baleen whale :smalltongue:

[Osiris]

Why can't you use a Kraken? Those things are amazing, acting as a free Evard's Tentacles (in 3.5e, dunno about 5e) every combat. Plus, you can't stick them in a bottle, but you could use that spell Smoky Confinement (?) that makes the creature turn into a Pokeball.
"Say hello to my little big friend!"
EDIT: What is a Tibbit, and where can I get one?

[Red Rubber Band]

Why can't you use a Kraken? Those things are amazing, acting as a free Evard's Tentacles (in 3.5e, dunno about 5e) every combat. Plus, you can't stick them in a bottle, but you could use that spell Smoky Confinement (?) that makes the creature turn into a Pokeball.
"Say hello to my little big friend!"
EDIT: What is a Tibbit, and where can I get one?

Yeah, Smokey Confinement. Sor/Wiz 6 from CM.

Best idea for a bad guy, or just random, crazy hillbilly.

"RELEASE THE KRAKEN!"
"Go, Succubus!"
"That Damn Crab, I choose you!"
"YEEEHAWW, git outta there, ya dang varmit!"

Edit: Though you may have to be very careful with how you treat them. As they may not be happy when you release them =/

[Mutazoia]

lol...you all seem to REALLY want me to have a pet Kraken

...maybe I'll see if I can get a baby Kraken...but...when we're not in the ocean, how will I use it?...

http://superflycomics.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/The-Aquamobile.jpg

[MonochromeTiger]

I'm thinking something like http://superflycomics.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/The-Aquamobile.jpg

....this.....what...but he's supposed to be non-lethal...I.. I'm going to go pet a cat until I can remember what logic is.

[Red Fel]

EDIT: What is a Tibbit, and where can I get one?

Tibbits are these delightful folks found in Dragon Compendium. Picture a Halfling that turns into a cat at will (but no more than once an hour) and you've got the gist.

They'd make a great evil kitty pet in ittybittykittyform, and a surprisingly effective ninja-style bodyguard. Nobody suspects kitty!

[Rasman]

a ) A parrot is the time-honored tradition.

b ) Is your avatar that dude from Full Metal Alchemist?

c ) Probably is. That's awesome.

A) That was my first thought as well.

B) Yes, it is Alex Louis Armstrong from Fullmetal Alchemist.

C) I know. :smallbiggrin:


I would go with a cat. Seriously, hear me out.

Pirates are notorious for existing as mockeries of cultivation. A pirate will often dress in the collected remnants of various wealthy victims of his pillaging, resulting in a disorderly, chaotic, motley calico of attire. (As I recall, "Calico Jack" was a pirate's title. Guess how he got it.) They often affect the speech patterns and vocabulary of the privileged classes, because at the end of the day, they want to be rich, too; despite this, they also drink, swear, and whore their way up and down the coast. So you want a pet that can simultaneously come across as classy and trashy.

Enter the cat. Cats are classy. They are elegant, detached, smooth - kitty is a classy animal. Now picture a cat who, like its pirate owner, has been living on a ship for months. Its fur is matted. Its ear is bent, or possibly even has a hole (or a kitty earring!). It's mangy, slimmed, and possibly scarred. Yet it still carries itself as an animal of breeding and cultivation, despite its surroundings. Classy-trashy.

The cat is also the picture of casual ruthlessness. When idle, it looks useless- a fat blob of fur that spends its time basking in the sun and doing nothing. Much like its drunken pirate compatriots. But when the claws come out, cats hearken back to their ancestral memories. They are hunters. They are killers. They can slay a commoner and think nothing of it. They are ruthless when they have to be, much like their pirate compatriots.

A cat is also a very practical animal to have on a ship. One of the most common dangers is rodents in the food stores. Cats can take care of that problem quite effectively.

Finally, a cat is a great fashion accessory. Think of the styled pirate captain, in his finest breeches and tunic, his mustache freshly waxed and his hook freshly shined. Now picture a well-groomed white cat glowering quietly from his shoulder. The ladies love it, of course.

Short version: Buck the trend. Pick a cat.

Oh my...that is REALLY well thought out and the mentioning of Calico Jack is an EXCELLENT touch. The 'classy-trash' motif is a good catch too because my pirate might have a nice Dex since he uses a rapier, but his second highest stat is Cha because he is known as 'Charming' Chaz Morgan and his crew is mostly women..and pretty men...

This idea is growing on me quite a bit.

It's growing on me even more since he is Eeeeeevil and is going to take over this island via prostitution...

[(Un)Inspired]

Would it be possible for your pirate to just have a smaller pirate as a pet?

[Red Rubber Band]

Would it be possible for your pirate to just have a smaller pirate as a pet?

A celestial monkey pirate.

[MonochromeTiger]

Would it be possible for your pirate to just have a smaller pirate as a pet?

cats are pirates, scientifically proven fact.

[Red Rubber Band]

cats are pirates, scientifically proven fact.

Multi-talented. As they're also Samurais. And Pizzas...??? (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0122834/) :smallconfused:

[Bonzai]

A celestial monkey pirate.

Awakened Monkey Ninja Zombie familiars are cooler.

[MonochromeTiger]

Awakened Monkey Ninja Zombie familiars are cooler.
.... I detect an infiltrator.

[Red Rubber Band]

.... I detect an infiltrator.

If you're detecting a ninja... well, he's clearly NOT a ninja.

[MonochromeTiger]

If you're detecting a ninja... well, he's clearly NOT a ninja.

or he just failed his stealth check.

[Red Rubber Band]

or he just failed his stealth check.

Or he's not a ninja :smalltongue:

[Mutazoia]

Would it be possible for your pirate to just have a smaller pirate as a pet?

Not with out violating the Forum rules against adult topics.... :smallbiggrin:

[Rasman]

I had an interesting thought just now, since I'm thinking I want to go with the cat.

Do familiars sleep?

[Red Fel]

I had an interesting thought just now, since I'm thinking I want to go with the cat.

Do familiars sleep?

If it's a cat? The better question is, "Does this miserable furball ever not sleep?" Which is generally answered with a half-lidded feline scowl.

Before it goes back to sleep.

[MonochromeTiger]

If it's a cat? The better question is, "Does this miserable furball ever not sleep?" Which is generally answered with a half-lidded feline scowl.

Before it goes back to sleep.

cats don't sleep. they nap....wait that sounded less epic than it should have. cats don't sleep, they hunt while completely immobile with their eyes closed (they hunt with mind bullets because cats are just that awesome).

[Red Fel]

cats don't sleep. they nap....wait that sounded less epic than it should have. cats don't sleep, they hunt while completely immobile with their eyes closed (they hunt with mind bullets because cats are just that awesome).

Try "Cats don't sleep... They wait." Note to self, make a Chuck Norris kitty build...