101 Things to Do With a Dead Tarrasque

[Falcon X]

So I killed the Tarrasque. Now what?

With the advent of the modern forum post, we all know pretty well how to slay the 3.X Tarrasque and roll our eyes at the DM like he might as well have just tossed a goblin at our Vorpal Blade of Instant Crit ™.

What we are trying to find here is what to DO with the Tarrasque once we have him below 0 HP and have established a way to keep it below 0 HP.

I’ll start with a few common ones:

1. Wish spell the thing into oblivion. This is established in the rules as the only way to completely kill it. Thus, this is the LOGICAL thing to do.

2. Cut off slices of the Tarrasque’s flesh. Due to regeneration, you'll have a never-ending supply of meat. Sell for profit!

3. Set it loose on an enemy.

4. Find a way to cast ‘Trap the Soul’ on the Tarrasque. Its entire being is now inside a gem. Turn the gem into your phylactery for becoming a lich. Make it well known that if you are killed, the Tarrasque will be unleashed.

5. Cult members are likely to pop up. Some of these might be hostile to you (Waker of the Beast, Dragon 296). Prepare yourself to protect the Tarrasque body, because it’s yours.

6. Boost it's intelligence score. Teach it to play chess.

[Hamste]

http://forum.rpg.net/archive/index.php/t-261519.html

One of the coolest setting idea in D&D is based around a Tarrasque

[Suddo]

True Mind Swap is always an option.

[FinnDarkblade]

2. Cut off slices of the Tarrasque’s flesh. Due to regeneration, you'll have a never-ending supply of meat. Sell for profit!

With all the resistances and regeneration it has you could make pretty decent armor out of it, wrap a layer over ships, etc. Its stomach can apparently be made into armor that grants immunity to acid and poison and very high SR. Given what the Tarrasque eats(everything) I would imagine the acid itself would be pretty useful as long as you had some kind of magical container to hold it in.

[Ketiara]

http://forum.rpg.net/archive/index.php/t-261519.html

One of the coolest setting idea in D&D is based around a Tarrasque

Woah! Thats creepy!!

[Falcon X]

True Mind Swap is always an option.

So, if I BECAME the Tarraque, and I was a Druid before with the Natural Spell feat, what does that make me?

Better question. How do I optimize this?

[Sewercop]

http://forum.rpg.net/archive/index.php/t-261519.html

One of the coolest setting idea in D&D is based around a Tarrasque

I remember that thread :smallbiggrin:
Well worth reading

[Kennisiou]

Awaken the tarrasque and befriend it! Awaken the tarrasque and befriend it!

Teach it to love! Also chess.

[Alent]

If you have a ranger in party, optimize wild empathy/handle animal and tame it when it revives. This is especially viable in pathfinder as their Tarrasque is easily tamed due how Paizo nerfed the HD it has. It shouldn't be too hard to optimize an auto-success on the taming. (We had a level 8 ranger that could make the check on PF's Big T. 75% of the time and he wasn't even optimized for it.)

Once you have tamed the Tarrasque, name him Scooby, levy a protection tax against all the nations in the world, use that to get a bard and a lyre of building. (I think that's the name? It's been a long time since they let me play bard.) Have the bard make buildings that you dub "scooby snacks". Use scooby snacks as rewards to teach him plenty of tricks, and then give him overland flight and start teaching him aerial tricks. Lastly, perform check his armor into a stronghold, give him a trap of overland flight, and fly around the world eating anything that opposes you.

At that point, you can start blackmailing kings for more gold with "I think we're running out of scooby snacks, do you have a spare castle?"

[FinnDarkblade]

Once you have tamed the Tarrasque, name him Scooby, levy a protection tax against all the nations in the world, use that to get a bard and a lyre of building. (I think that's the name? It's been a long time since they let me play bard.) Have the bard make buildings that you dub "scooby snacks". Use scooby snacks as rewards to teach him plenty of tricks, and then give him overland flight and start teaching him aerial tricks. Lastly, perform check his armor into a stronghold, give him a trap of overland flight, and fly around the world eating anything that opposes you.

At that point, you can start blackmailing kings for more gold with "I think we're running out of scooby snacks, do you have a spare castle?"

That's one of the best things I've ever read.

[Baroknik]

Wish the tarrasque into a chocolate bar.
Get disbetes from overrating chocolate bar.
Be a wizard, and research spell to cure diabetes.
Cure your diabetes and continue to eat chocolate bar.

[Doorhandle]

If in pathfinder and of a highly questionable moral bent, torture it so it's death screams summon the other spawns of rovagug... then kill them too, because hell, why not?

[Shining Wrath]

Create your own plane.
Move Tarrasque there.
Over time, breed the 17-template Tarrasque (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=280524).
Breed lots of Ultimate Tarrasques.
Open Gate between your own plane and Prime Material.
Laugh as DM's entire campaign world is annihilated.
PROFIT!

[Icewraith]

1) Build giant hamster wheel out of nigh-indestructible material around KOed Tarrasque. Perhaps a custom barred forcecage? Research making gears out of force and suspending them on immovable rods.
2) Permanent Image giant chunk of meat in front of wheel. Make sure there's an olfactory component of wafting bacon.
3) Permanent Invisibility the giant hamster wheel.
4) Extend axle of giant hamster wheel into your frictionless gears of force.
5) Screen the area with the gears so all big T can see, smell, and hear is that delicious pile of bacon right in front of him.
6) You have a permanently hungry, never-tiring (it only rests once it has eaten), rather stupid, regenerating monster hooked up to a perfect power transferrence mechanism. Fill the hamster wheel with mind fog and craft custom immunity-bypassing dominate manacles if you're really worried about it figuring out the illusion.
7) Do something with all your free energy. Maybe use the experience from taking out big T for 21st level and epic spellcasting, then power a mythal with your contraption (significantly mitigating the casting DC) and ban all disintegrate and disjunction effects from the area. Do whatever else you want, at the end of the day no matter what you do with it you're doing it with the most badass hamster wheel in the multiverse.

[Doorhandle]

1) Build giant hamster wheel out of nigh-indestructible material around KOed Tarrasque. Perhaps a custom barred forcecage? Research making gears out of force and suspending them on immovable rods.
2) Permanent Image giant chunk of meat in front of wheel. Make sure there's an olfactory component of wafting bacon.
3) Permanent Invisibility the giant hamster wheel.
4) Extend axle of giant hamster wheel into your frictionless gears of force.
5) Screen the area with the gears so all big T can see, smell, and hear is that delicious pile of bacon right in front of him.
6) You have a permanently hungry, never-tiring (it only rests once it has eaten), rather stupid, regenerating monster hooked up to a perfect power transferrence mechanism. Fill the hamster wheel with mind fog and craft custom immunity-bypassing dominate manacles if you're really worried about it figuring out the illusion.
7) Do something with all your free energy. Maybe use the experience from taking out big T for 21st level and epic spellcasting, then power a mythal with your contraption (significantly mitigating the casting DC) and ban all disintegrate and disjunction effects from the area. Do whatever else you want, at the end of the day no matter what you do with it you're doing it with the most badass hamster wheel in the multiverse.

A device so intrinsically dwarven could only have one purpose: to pump magma and HFS from the world's core to the surface. Armok is pleased.

[Blackhawk748]

1. Tame it
2. Name it Fluffy
3. Put it on a demi plane that has a giant doghouse and bacon bushes
4. Whenever you are attacked threaten people with Fluffy
5. When they inevitably attack you, sick fluffy on them with a Gate spell
6. After Fluffy kills your attackers talk to it in that weird baby voice pet owners tend to (even though we hate when other people do it)
7. PROFIT

[Icewraith]

Hire NPCs to keep big T well into the negatives while recruiting thousands of evangelists to form cults all over the material plane dedicated to worshiping big T.

If you're going to be stuck with a giant Tarrasque, you might as well make it a giant Tarrasque with divine ranks.

[12owlbears]

True Mind Swap is always an option.

ok so if a high level psion true mind swaps with a Tarrasque what should they do next

[Malak'ai]

Smother it in Catnip then give it to Snuggles to be a play toy/scratching post.

[Jgosse]

Sell it to a powerfull groups of wizzards wait a few years then watch as the army of weretarrasques or Anthropomorphic tarrasqueses or what ever abomination eventually is created takes over the world.

[Brookshw]

Turn around and use the sword on the DM.

[Slipperychicken]

1. While it's unconscious, cast Mindrape on it until you succeed.

1a. If the carapace bounces the spell back at you, just choose not to alter your own memories or personality.

2. Make the Tarrasque into your personal minion, let it wake up (while saying something awesome like "Ariiise, my minion!") and have it lower its spell resistance to let you cast spells on it.

3. Permanency Telepathic Bond on it too. Now you can communicate with it reliably (which works because it's sentient). See what you can do about teaching it your favorite language.

4. Get it a Feathered Wings Graft. Now it can fly at like 2x its land speed as an (Ex) ability.

5. Manifest Psychic Reformation (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/psionic/powers/psychicReformation.htm) on the Tarrasque to optimize its feats for fighting. You might want to give it the Mage Slayer line of feats, Leap Attack, Shock Trooper, and replace the six iterations of Toughness with something useful, like martial maneuvers or Improved Toughness. It'll cost a bunch of XP, but it's all good because Big T. doesn't care about levels anyway. Even if it loses a HD, it still has like 47 hit dice so you're good.

6. Try to make it project an AMF in combat, and give it more immunities to stuff like ability drain.

7. Wreck face with your uber-tarrasque minion.

8. When it levels up, give it a level in something like Swordsage and have it be a kung-fu tarrasque.


A device so intrinsically dwarven could only have one purpose: to pump magma and HFS from the world's core to the surface. Armok is pleased.

Dude, that's what water generators are for. If I got Big T in Dwarf Fortress, I might just keep it chained up outside the entrance to kill sieges. Or stick it in an arena to drop sieges into.

[Alent]

3. Permanency Telepathic Bond on it too. Now you can communicate with it reliably (which works because it's sentient). See what you can do about teaching it your favorite language.

The Tarrasque has 3 int and a specific clause saying it doesn't understand or have language? :smallconfused:

[Slipperychicken]

The Tarrasque has 3 int and a specific clause saying it doesn't understand or have language? :smallconfused:

It would totally work.


You forge a telepathic bond among yourself and a number of willing creatures, each of which must have an Intelligence score of 3 or higher. Each creature included in the link is linked to all the others. The creatures can communicate telepathically through the bond regardless of language. No special power or influence is established as a result of the bond. Once the bond is formed, it works over any distance (although not from one plane to another).

So yeah, our work is partly done for us because Big T is barely sentient.


EDIT: The entry only says "The tarrasque cannot speak." Nothing about interpreting or learning language, so you might be able to teach it some commands in Common. If you want it to talk back without the telepathic bond, one could just teach it a sign language like Combat Signs (Heroes of Battle) or Drow Sign Language.

EDIT 2: You could totally give it a Pearl of Tongues (MiC) too, which would let it understand speech without training.

[nedz]

Give it a Headband of Intellect
Charm it (this might take a few goes but it's SR is only 32)
Take it adventuring
Have it take a few levels of Ninja

[Chronos]

Quoth Doorhandle:

A device so intrinsically dwarven could only have one purpose: to pump magma and HFS from the world's core to the surface. Armok is pleased.
Wait, dwarves mine High Fructose Syrup?

[illyahr]

1. Mind Control it.
2. Do the ritual to make it a dragonborn.
3. Have it bitten by a were-creature, make it fail it's save.
4. Sit back, smile, and watch the world burn. :smallamused:

[Slipperychicken]

Wait, dwarves mine High Fructose Syrup?

It's a reference to Dwarf Fortress. HFS is a minor spoiler, is found deep beneath the surface, and stands for Hidden Fun Stuff.

[Blackhawk748]

Give it a level of CW Samurai, and then initiate all battle with, meet my Samurai, when they laugh, have Big T enter.

[Kudaku]

101 Things to Do With a Dead Tarrasque would be an interesting title for a cooking book...

[Falcon X]

101 Things to Do With a Dead Tarrasque would be an interesting title for a cooking book...

Lolz. Could only market it to geeks, but I't does sound like a great title for a cook book.

[Spore]

Lolz. Could only market it to geeks, but I't does sound like a great title for a cook book.

Make it a real cook book and find 101 contrived ways on to why you ran out on Tarrasque meat and have to use Beef/Chicken/etc. :smallsmile:

[Slipperychicken]

Here's an idea:

After making the Tarrasque into your thrall, get it to equip a Nipple Clamp of Exquisite Pain (BoVD, 8000gp), then you can chop off and eat its regenerating meat without angering it, instead giving it extreme pleasure. You could also use this to harvest Ambrosia (Liquid Pleasure) from it. You can then have it battle alongside you when needed, then harvest Tarrasque meat and ambrosia between fights.


Make it a real cook book and find 101 contrived ways on to why you ran out on Tarrasque meat and have to use Beef/Chicken/etc. :smallsmile:

For the story of how you ran out of Tarrasque? Make it a whole story full of intrigue, high hopes, and backstabbing.

[AstralFire]

Nipple clamps on Tarrasques is a phase which no thread should ever reach.

[Zubrowka74]

Turn it into a stage prop for an on-the-road mime show ?

[Annos]

1. Mind Control it.
2. Do the ritual to make it a dragonborn.
3. Have it bitten by a were-creature, make it fail it's save.
4. Sit back, smile, and watch the world burn. :smallamused:

Dragonborn template doesn't make a creature Humanoid. The creature keeps its base type.

[illyahr]

Dragonborn template doesn't make a creature Humanoid. The creature keeps its base type.

This is all I have to say. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=304556) :smallbiggrin:

[Falcon X]

Nipple clamps on Tarrasques is a phase which no thread should ever reach.

As much as I hate to say it, Nipple Clamps on the Tarrasque are one of the major useful things I'm going to go away from this thread with. Not just because it's seared with pain into my head, but that it's genuinely useful.

[Socratov]

1) Build giant hamster wheel out of nigh-indestructible material around KOed Tarrasque. Perhaps a custom barred forcecage? Research making gears out of force and suspending them on immovable rods.
2) Permanent Image giant chunk of meat in front of wheel. Make sure there's an olfactory component of wafting bacon.
3) Permanent Invisibility the giant hamster wheel.
4) Extend axle of giant hamster wheel into your frictionless gears of force.
5) Screen the area with the gears so all big T can see, smell, and hear is that delicious pile of bacon right in front of him.
6) You have a permanently hungry, never-tiring (it only rests once it has eaten), rather stupid, regenerating monster hooked up to a perfect power transferrence mechanism. Fill the hamster wheel with mind fog and craft custom immunity-bypassing dominate manacles if you're really worried about it figuring out the illusion.
7) Do something with all your free energy. Maybe use the experience from taking out big T for 21st level and epic spellcasting, then power a mythal with your contraption (significantly mitigating the casting DC) and ban all disintegrate and disjunction effects from the area. Do whatever else you want, at the end of the day no matter what you do with it you're doing it with the most badass hamster wheel in the multiverse.
that, is one of the most efficient things I have ever heard about.

1. Tame it
2. Name it Fluffy
3. Put it on a demi plane that has a giant doghouse and bacon bushes
4. Whenever you are attacked threaten people with Fluffy
5. When they inevitably attack you, sick fluffy on them with a Gate spell
6. After Fluffy kills your attackers talk to it in that weird baby voice pet owners tend to (even though we hate when other people do it)
7. PROFIT
Wow! I would totally do that (I practised all my youth on doing this to Irish Wolfhounds... )

Sell it to a powerfull groups of wizzards wait a few years then watch as the army of weretarrasques or Anthropomorphic tarrasqueses or what ever abomination eventually is created takes over the world.
Or you could move it to Australia... Just sayin'

[nedz]

Nipple clamps on Tarrasques is a phase which no thread should ever reach.

Do Tarrasques even have nipples ?
Citation please ?

[Slipperychicken]

Do Tarrasques even have nipples ?
Citation please ?

If you want to get RAW about it.. the item requires merely that it be worn (not specifying a body part), and is explicitly a ring.


Nipple Clamp of Exquisite Pain:
The wearer of this ring is immune to debilitating pain effects such as the circle of nausea spell. He is also immune to the wrack spell. He is not immune to actual damage described as pain, such as that found in eyes of the zombie, however. The clamp converts all pain into a pleasurable sensation. This item does not change how or whether the character takes damage, but it does change how he might react to it.

As to where a tarrasque would wear it, magic items do resize to fit their wearers :smallbiggrin:

[erasedisknow]

hug him/her/them/it! then find a way to domesticate it before it wakes up. Maybe commit shennanigans related to time travel and go to when the Tarrasque was created, True Mind Swap with Big T's creator, program a code of some kind into Big T that will domesticate him instantly. TMS back into your real body and head back to your own time, wait for Big T to wake up, use code you programmed in to domesticate him. :tongue:

[erasedisknow]

Do Tarrasques even have nipples ?
Citation please ?

Not according to the art in the Monster Manual for 4e. (It was nearest to my computer.)