View Full Version : A Sinister Laboratory of Evil-Help Wanted. Inquire Within.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-18, 03:48 PM
A cliche evil lab springs up in Town, with all sorts of creepy mutated things, brains in jars, and scary looking machinery.
As you enter, you come into a brightly lit lobby that sharply contrats with the rest of the building. A nameless NPC sits at a reception desk, waiting for special requests from people with needs that can only be fullfilled by mad science.

2007-01-18, 05:18 PM
A man enters the laboratory. He is cloaked in black with red markings on his back. With a few silent strides, the enigma reaches the counter and calls upon the receptionist. "Hi. I need some help creating some creatures."

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-18, 05:23 PM
The NPC looks up.

"What type are you looking for? We have a special on Androids. Buy one, and skin is 50% off."

2007-01-18, 05:24 PM
"I want a walking death machine, if you have those in stock."

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-18, 05:29 PM
"hmm..." the NPC receptionist starts typing vigorously into a computer, "We have a Model 136-LR Five in stock. They are kind of good, but have a few major weaknesses that Hero types will exploit. For a little more you can go 736-TY 900, it's one of the best killing machines in the market, but it tends to overheat a lot. We also have, for an expense no less than your soul, the RW-15,500DR2, It will kill everything in your path, but has a self-destruct button located in a hard to reach spot."

2007-01-18, 05:31 PM
The man ponders for a while before declining. "Ah, no thanks. I'm not interested in androids. Nice store, though!" With that, he whisks himself out the door.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-01-18, 06:53 PM
Vespe walks in. Excuse me. I need some very...unusual components for....spells. Of course. What types of ingredients and tomes do you have in stock that would drive a man insane by merely seeing it out of the corner of his eye?

Deus Mortus
2007-01-18, 08:28 PM
Four minor devils and one minor demon walk in looking around for others.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-01-20, 04:05 PM
You fool! You dare to mock my elven heritage! I wield power beyond the comprehension of men! I merely snap my fingers and the very universe bows to my whims! I command the ruinous powers of hundreds of vile beings whose mere names would drive you past the brink of insanity! I, sir, could completely and utterly annihilate you and this entire town with a mere blink of my eye! As Vespe rants on his voice grows more demonic and deep and distorted, the sky turns blood red and black clouds fill the sky. A vile orange light beam shoots up from Vespe, and giant black tentacles wrap around the beam. I will now find the dark tomes in here myself. Do not try to stop me or I will be forced to obliterate you and your soul.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-01-20, 04:13 PM
The sky turns blue again and the tentacles vanish. Hmm... I require the Tome of Vile Darkness, The Tome of Eternal Darkness , and the Necronomicon. Oh, could I get two of those, one in pop up edition? It's for my nephew.

2007-01-20, 05:11 PM
A small portal opens near a wall and Saurous walks in. He steps over to the reception counter and waits for Vespe to finish.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-20, 05:22 PM
A rather scary looking cyborg with three heads walks over to the other side of the counter.

To Saurous: Sir, may I assist you?

Vespe Ratavo
2007-01-20, 05:25 PM
Vespe wakes up from his dark gods induced coma, pays and leaves.

2007-01-20, 05:27 PM
Ah, yes. Would you happen to have any magical devices and/or books that augment necromantic powers? The Necronomicron...the Morturom Demonto...The Tome of unlife...anything like that. Also, I'd like a few invisibility devices, if you happen to have them.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-20, 05:31 PM
We have a few Necromicons, and we could get you an implant or two for invisibility. Unless you'd rather just use a little gadget you can put in your pocket, like the heroes do.
Cybernetic implants are all the rage nowadays, especially the clearly visible ones that are fused onto the skin.

2007-01-20, 05:36 PM
Saurous frowns, and then says

Okay...I'll take a Necronomicron. Do you have any other books or items like it?

Lord Magtok
2007-01-20, 05:39 PM
We also have the Tome of Vile Darkness and The Tome of Eternal Darkness in stock. Also, we recently came across an eyeball that has some kind of dark magical energy. We're not sure what it does yet, but its likely something special.

2007-01-20, 05:42 PM
I'll take the Tome of Eternal Darkness and the eye.

2007-01-20, 05:45 PM
A creature shrouded in a dark cloak enters the lab.
The Eye is mine. he said with a hiss.

2007-01-20, 05:52 PM
Jonnadiah strolls into the Laboratory. "Hey ho, my good sirs, what have we here? Well, I actually know what we have here, and that's exactly why I've found myself here. But I digress. What have you that will effectively weaken a deity so that he may become no more than a non-epic hot-head? Or, better yet, what have you in the way of inventory that will remove a deity from existence entirely?"

2007-01-20, 06:01 PM
Saurous turns towards the hooded figure. His red eyes flare. A dark aura flows around him

I don't believe you will take the Eye peacefully.

2007-01-20, 06:05 PM
Strange but I believe I won't either. Two black fireballs appear on his hands and he throws them at Saurous.

2007-01-20, 06:08 PM
Jonnadiah coughs. "I don't believe you've addressed my inquiry."

2007-01-20, 06:09 PM
"Whoa, someone recording a heavy metal album here?" Floyd asks, nonchalantly striding into the lab.

2007-01-20, 06:09 PM
Saurous rolls out of the way of the fireballs, after which he sends a bolt of black energy at the robed figure.

2007-01-20, 06:11 PM
Jonnadiah screams and a huge blast of pure energy is emitted from his body towards Saurous and the hooded figure.

"Stop this incessant fighting and give me my damned services before I cut you all to the ground!"

((I got dinner, back in about 20))

2007-01-20, 06:12 PM
"This is a heavy metal album recording, isn't it??" Floyd says with a grin, oblivious to the chaos going on.

2007-01-20, 06:13 PM
Saurous jumps out of the way, leaps toward Jonnadiah and pushes him towards the receptionist. He then continues fighting the cloaked person.

2007-01-20, 06:15 PM
The lightning clips the figure's hood, revealing a half-fiend Mindflayer. He has only one eye. He pulls the hood back up and casts Blackfire. (see Spell compendium)

2007-01-20, 06:22 PM
The flame strikes Saurous in the arm, sending him spiraling to the ground. He then stands, his eyes flaring. He then lets out a horrible wail.

Wail of the Banshee!

2007-01-20, 06:24 PM
"Awww yeah! ROCK ON!" Floyd cries, shooting his hands up in the air with the international symbol of RAWK gesture as the banshee wails pops his eardrums.

2007-01-20, 06:26 PM
The hooded figure falls back with a scream. Covering his ears with two tentacles he casts Ice Claw ((Claw of Ice grapples and deals cold damage))

2007-01-20, 06:36 PM
The claw grasps Saurous' foot, freezing it. Saurous screams, and then says.

Oh, you're going to pay for that... Finger of Death!

2007-01-20, 06:40 PM
((Yeah, nice job Godmodding, thanks))

Jonnadiah swivels around and unleases a torent of boiling gas at the two fighting customers.

2007-01-20, 06:41 PM
The figure laughs
Spell Resistance fool! ((Mind Flayers have SR 25+class levels which is 20 for me)) He then casts Flesh to Stone on Saurous and dodges the Gas

2007-01-20, 06:42 PM
((No, see, you don't get spell resistance for what is now a mundane boiling gas searing at your squishy-squid flesh. I did not cast the spell on you, I cast it to create said gas.))

2007-01-20, 06:44 PM
((No I meant against Finger of Death))

2007-01-20, 06:45 PM
((Oh, my bad))

2007-01-20, 06:46 PM
((You're welcome :smallbiggrin: ))

The gas burns Saurous' skin, forcing him to withdraw to the counter. He feels around for the books, drops money on the counter, and then rushes from the lab.

2007-01-20, 06:48 PM
((It's fine))
The Figure halts his spell for a moment, and sends a hold person to Jonnadiah
edit: ((So you didn't grab the eye?))

2007-01-20, 06:49 PM
((No, I didn't. I guess I said "Oh, screw it" and left the eye))

2007-01-20, 06:50 PM
Jonnadiah sighs, brushing off the spell's effects. "Do you even know who I am? Well, obviously not if you're attempting such a move. Nevertheless, I'd like you to meet my little friend."

Jonnadiah unsheaths his katana and takes a mighty swing at the Mindflayer.

2007-01-20, 06:55 PM
Aloyius appears in the room with a nice voip sound, "There you are," he says, nodding at Jonnadiah, "What are we up to now?" He leans on his staff, a crooked smile on his face as he watches the fight.

2007-01-20, 06:55 PM
The mindflayer smirks
Obviously you don't know who I am!
He casts Time Stop, walks over to the eye, and feels it.
Damn. Won't work
He leaves the eye where it is, and leaves with a teleport.

2007-01-20, 06:58 PM
Jonnadiah growls as the Mindflayer disappears. "F5cking Aloysius's trick, bastard. Alas." He turns his attention back to the counter. "My poison, PLEASE."

Jonnadiah then turns to Aloysius. "There were two mooks battling, interrupting my getting something, I fought them, they ran off like the little children they are. What are you up to?"

2007-01-20, 07:04 PM
Aloysius shrugs, "Not much... Just got bored, thought I would go out on the town and have some fun... I thought you might care to join me."

A moment later Maliohen bursts into the room, "Stand and fight you coward! Weither you want to or not... I will hunt you down and capture you, wretched criminal."

Aloysius chuckles, "I guess the fun followed me..." He tilts his head back towards Jonndiah, "Shall we have some fun with this peon?"

2007-01-20, 07:06 PM
Jonnadiah grins. "It seems almost unfair to beat up on non-magic dopes...Hey, guess what, I'm officially over it! Let's go!"

Jonnadiah re-sheaths his katana and claps his hands together. A thunderous explosion, centered around Maliohen, rattles the lab.

Ayya the Fearsome
2007-01-20, 07:10 PM
Ayya walks in and proceeds to walk towards the receptionist.

"ayya wants a new axe. got enchanted ones?

The receptionist looks Ayya over, obviously scared by her sheer size and the huge axe slung over her shoulder, covered in blood.

"hello!!! ayya said she wants a new axe!!!"

2007-01-20, 07:10 PM
Maliohen growls as the thunderous explosion goes off, he falls to the ground and quickly scrambles to his feet, pulling out his mancather as he does so.

"Unfair! Pah, what fun is it if its fair!" Aloysius chuckles and bring shis staff in front of him.

Maliohen takes a small step back then flings himself forward at Aloysius, jabbing at him with his mancatcher. Aloysius deflects the blow and winks at Maliohen before vanishing and reappearing on the other side of the room, only larger and more... owlbear like.

2007-01-20, 07:13 PM
Jonnadiah giggles evilly ((heck yes)) "Ah, learned a new trick, eh?" Jonnadiah snaps and immediately a huge gale begins kicking up, the winds picking up to about 75mph. "OK bub, time to die."

Jonnadiah jumps towards Maliohen, hands crackling with pure electric energy.

2007-01-20, 07:16 PM
Aloysius chuckles, "Nah, just added a twist to an old one." He too leaps into the air, claws glimmering with an icy sheen.

Maliohen panics as the two leap towards him, diving out of the way at the last moment and spinning around, attempting to hit Jonnadiah with his mancatcher.

2007-01-20, 07:22 PM
Jonnadiah blinks and his body becomes watery. The blade slices through his chest, causing some steam to rise away.

"Well, here's an old favorite of mine." he grins as he attempts to ram his watery fist down Maliohen's throat.

2007-01-20, 07:25 PM
Maliohen begins to gag and flail as his lungs become filled with water, he desperatly tries to free himself, dropping his mancatcher and drawing to sets of manacles, swinging them at jonnadiah as if they were flails.

Aloysius sighs and morpsh back to his human form, "Fine...have all the fun..."

2007-01-20, 07:29 PM
Jonnadiah grins, allowing the manacle to cut off his arm, which falls into Maliohen's mouth and begins wiggling down his throat.

"Manacles cannot hold me, sir." He turns to Aloysius "Make yourself useful and steal that...that claw thing."

2007-01-20, 07:38 PM
Maliohen gags as the watery arm wriggles down his throat, he falls to his knees and begins hacking and coughing, spraying water all over the floor as he does so, attempting to get the arm out.

Aloysius strides slowly over to Maliohen, and takes a hold of the mancatcher, then picks it up and examines it. "My my, where did you get a hold of this nifty little dodad...and its magical to! No matter." He tosses it to the other side of the room and kicks Maliohen in the gut. Maliohen responds with a grunt and a glare at Aloysius as he continues to cough and gag.

2007-01-20, 07:40 PM
Jonnadiah grins even wider. "You know all that about, well, the murdering an officer can grant some amnesty? What if we, say, held this one hostage?"

Without wating for a response, Jonnadiah shouts "BOTTOMS UP!" and dives headfirst into Maliohen's mouth.

2007-01-20, 07:44 PM
Maliohen gags, his eyes widening as Jonnadiah dives down his throat, he manages to stammer out a single sentence, "I am...not an officer."

Aloysius smirks, "No matter." He kicks Maliohen in the gut again, sending him sprawling across the floor.

2007-01-20, 07:47 PM
Jonnadiah's head emerges from Maliohen's mouth. "Bring us to the temple!!!"

2007-01-20, 07:49 PM
Aloysius nods, "Very well." He kicks maliohen in the gut once more, issuing forth another grunt of pain before lifting up the odd man and resting him on his shoulder. Aloysius turns and walks out of the building, heading towards his temple.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-20, 09:28 PM
The receptionist comes out of hiding, and the cyborg awakens from sleep mode to find the fight over.

Thank goodness that's over...

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-01-20, 09:30 PM
Ark enters the lab, but something seems a bit "off" about him.

Any weapon, as long as it's crystal based.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-20, 09:32 PM
How about a lightsaber? We also have a more powerful energy blade called the Alpha and The Omega. One of a kind, and its name means the beginning and the end.

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-01-20, 09:33 PM
The Alpha and Omega sounds good...I'll take it...but how does it work?

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-20, 09:37 PM
Rex Idiotarum Walks in,
"Quite an establishment you have here. Do you have a set of androids with Gyroscopic Balance enhancers?"

Lord Magtok
2007-01-20, 09:38 PM
To Fus:You press a button, and its energy beam extends from the hilt. The blade can slice through anything, and can block lasers, bullets, and magical energy. Its one of our finest creations.

Cyborg guy speaking to Rex:Indeed we do. We also have Robot Simu' Ninjas, evil machines designed for simu' attacks that function even outside this forum.

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-01-20, 09:39 PM
Ok. I'll take it. Ark grabs the AlphaOmega and hands the merchant a bag full of platinum coins. Keep the change.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-20, 09:41 PM
Thank you. We hope you return to the lab for all your insidious needs.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-01-21, 12:59 PM
Vespe walks in, but there is something different about him. Namely, the fact that he's in black plate armor. YOU FOOLS! THIS TOME IS MERELY SOME SORT OF BOOK FOR A GAME! he holds up the book of Vile Darkness, and it does, in fact, appear to be a game book. THIS CAN ONLY BE PAID FOR IN BLOOD! A tear in reality opens up above the lab.

Don't listen to him! A figure swings down from above and swings a rapier at Vespe, giving him a scar across the face. The figure is revealed, and he is....Vespe? ((Dun dun DUN!))

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 01:06 PM
The secretary cowers behind the desk, and looks at the blue text Vespe: So...that's your nephew you mentioned before?

Vespe Ratavo
2007-01-21, 01:07 PM
The two start fighting with rapiers.Half Brother actually. He's a pain.
Shoot him! I'm the one whos evil!
Yes he's the evi....*realizes where he is* aw..sh...

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 01:13 PM
Since the evil one has threatened our business, I'm afraid we'll have to allow the goody goody hero to live.

She presses a button, and about 300 laser turrets on the walls and ceiling aim themselves at the evil Vespe.

Please leave now.

Ayya the Fearsome
2007-01-21, 01:13 PM
ayya still wants an axe!

She raises her axe menacingly and holds it above her head.


Vespe Ratavo
2007-01-21, 01:15 PM
Devlin Ratavo shall return! Expeditious Retreat! Vespe teleports away.

Ayya the Fearsome
2007-01-21, 01:22 PM
how many times does ayya have to say it!!!!!!!! ayya want an axe!!!!!!!!!

Ayya brutally slices the receptionist in half, then realizes she won't get an axe now, so calls the manager.

cleanup in ailse ((sp?)) 5

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 01:26 PM
Magtok's ghost glides in.
I was going to fire her anyways...so you need an axe?
What kind are you looking for? Lightsaber-esque? Cursed? Alive?

Ayya the Fearsome
2007-01-21, 01:57 PM
enchanted, and really shiny!!

She holds up her bloody, dull axe and says...*dramatic music*


Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 02:13 PM
How about the Axepocalypse? It is enchanted to summon one of the horseriders of the Apocalypse once a week at the time of your choosing.

It has a jet black blade, with a special no-stick surface so the gore just slides right off.

Ayya the Fearsome
2007-01-21, 02:39 PM
ayya'll take it!!!! Ayya pays and tries it out on a NPC. The gore doesn't stick. ayya love it!!!!! She leaves the room with a happy smile on her bloody face.

2007-01-21, 02:42 PM
Floyd snaps out of the trance he was in for about 20 hours,

"Hey, man! What about my needs?"

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 02:43 PM
What do you need, sir?

2007-01-21, 02:49 PM
Floyd leans in close to the receptionist, as if it was of the utmost importance that only that one person hear what he had to say,

"Okay, I came here because you guys can do the most high-tech crap in this entire place, right?" He says, leaning a little bit closer. "Okay, like, this is going to be a challenge, but I believe you can do it, so I'm totally going to need you to..." Floyd pulls his guitar, Atom Heart, from his back and places it gingerly on the desk, "Put a kickass whammy bar on my baby! I've been wanting one for months, man!"

2007-01-21, 02:51 PM
Salty walks in, carrying a blood red ruby that pulses with malicious energy. I would like you to tell me what this does. It seems that anyone in possession of it has the habit of dying.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 02:52 PM
Err...okay. Umm... Magtok sir....

Hold on.

Magtok creates a portal on the wall, and a whammy bar is spat out.

To Salty: Apparently, it kills people. Wouldn't you be better off in some magic shop than here?

2007-01-21, 02:54 PM
"Hot damn!" Floyd says, picking up the bar. He places it against his guitar, seeing how it will fit. "It's totally perfect! Put it on!"

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 02:56 PM
Magtok raises a ghostly hand, and the whammy bar is put on the guitar.

That'll be 50 gold pieces.

2007-01-21, 02:58 PM
"God damn, 50?" Floyd asks incredulously. Then he remembers that this is some sort of secret lab and he doesn't feel like becoming the next monster for crazy Dr. Frank here. He just counts himself lucky that he played that gig the other night. Shovelling out the last of his money, he counts 50 gold pieces (a very tiresome excercise for a man like Floyd) and plops them on the table. He leaves.

2007-01-21, 03:00 PM
Well, apparently, it is an incarnation of pure evil. It- A large red light beams from it, and it levitates. It shakes like a baby's rattle, and it breaks free of its gold chain, which melts into a puddle on the floor. The gem rises and blows a fiery whirlwind.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 03:03 PM
Magtok takes the cash from Floyd.
To secretary:We almost have enough to fund the last developmental sage for my body.

To Salty:What the heck is it doing?

Ayya the Fearsome
2007-01-21, 03:11 PM
ayya back!!!!! She sees the shiny, shaking, levitating ruby, and her eyes widen in awe. ooooooo.... what's happening? then, before anyone could stop her, she takes the gem in her hands. It stops shaking and whirlwinding instantly.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 04:39 PM
Well, at least that's over.

Ghostly thoughts:Hmm...I still need funding for my new body.
I'm going to have to try stealing...

Deus Mortus
2007-01-21, 04:42 PM
A welldressed nobleman comes walking in and walks towards the secretary, May I have a word with the proprietor?

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 04:46 PM
Magtok swoops down to eye level with the nobleman.
That would be me. What do you need?

Deus Mortus
2007-01-21, 04:49 PM
Greetings sir, I have been wanting to buy a few bodyguards able to protect me, however before purschase I would like to know a bit more about your establishment and garantuee's, I hope you would be able to help me there mister... ?

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 05:06 PM
I had this place brought to this dimension so I could have a new body built for myself. I offer the various experiments at a price, so that I may be able to fund the creation of my new body.

Deus Mortus
2007-01-21, 05:08 PM
Ah well yes, that sounds nice, then perhaps you could show me some of these creations? Oh and before we pursue, I seem to have lost my manners, my name is Lord Riddletuck the Third.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 05:12 PM
My scientists reearch in many of the fields that others would find inhumane and cruel. There are clones, robots, cyborgs, and organs in jars. That only scratches the surface of our inventory, though.

Deus Mortus
2007-01-21, 05:14 PM
Ah good good, though may I ask for your name, if I were to buy one of your creations my friends at the court should be able to come here and see they cannot afford such protection as me...

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 05:16 PM
I am Lord Magtok, former emperor of my home world.

Deus Mortus
2007-01-21, 05:18 PM
Ah a lord, splendid, I do not like mingling with the common rabble as you offcourse understand and an emperor to, I have no doubt you are to be trusted, could you please show me your most expensive bodyguards?

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 05:29 PM
We have a large number of androids and cyborgs. Cyborgs are basically humans with metal and circuitry to replace flesh. Some look more robotic than others.

Magtok activtes a holographic display, showing the various kinds of robots.

We could always get a custom design for you, to match your needs...

Deus Mortus
2007-01-21, 05:36 PM
Hmmm yes, custom design that would be lovely, perhaps something nice and golden? What were the most respected and expensive robots at your homeworld?

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 05:39 PM
The custom designs that policed the streets and brutally slaughterd all who opposed me. They usually have bullet proof plating, a gun or two, and a hatred for all organics, with the exception of their master.

Deus Mortus
2007-01-21, 05:42 PM
Hmmm now that may be a bit too much, don't want kill the kings daughter now do we? How about you tell me what you think might do well in a court?

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 05:47 PM
There is the Revolver series. They resemble western gunslingers, and look completely human due to an artificial skin they wear.
They don't have the standard issue hatred of organics, and are quite proficient in melee combat as well.

We could take that series, and dress it up in some royal guard uniform of your own design...

Deus Mortus
2007-01-21, 06:04 PM
and is there any way to improve that design?

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 06:05 PM
What kind of improvements? We could attach a blade to one of its arms. I recently created a laser blade design that works wonders.

Deus Mortus
2007-01-21, 06:25 PM
Attack to his arm? Hmm that doesn't seem really fashionable, I think I will go with the revolver series in a goldplated armour and wings, flight is very fashionable right now. Yes that seems about right, oh and before I pay, may I ask the name of your homeworld so that I can truely brag about it around my friends?

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 06:52 PM
I renamed it while I ruled over it, but the world now goes under the name of the Global Republican Democracy of Man.

We can attach wings, but a jetpack would be more manueverable. We can stick wings on for display, though.

2007-01-21, 07:12 PM
The gem rises to a very hot temperature, and glows with a blinding light. The light arces through the roof, and over the town. It is visible for five minutes, and then it dissipates, with the ruby shattered into four pieces. these burst into a cloud of dust.

Deus Mortus
2007-01-21, 07:13 PM
As yes that would sound fine, nwo though I hate to do so, let us talk about price, I want these to be exclusive no one else should be order them or a model superior to them!

Lord Magtok
2007-01-21, 09:16 PM
Fine. How about 20,000 gold for a dozen of them?

Ayya the Fearsome
2007-01-22, 12:11 AM
oooooo..... that REALLY expensive.

Deus Mortus
2007-01-22, 12:33 AM
Sounds fine, when will they be done?

2007-01-22, 02:45 AM
Sasic wanders into the shop. "Someone should do something about the goblins in the sewers," she mutters to herself. She looks around. "Do you have a copy of The King In Yellow, by any chance?" she asks. "And I'd like a large black-widow spider, if you happen to have one. Got to keep up appearances!"

Deus Mortus
2007-01-22, 03:15 AM
An elven woman walks in, interested in the help wanted sign.

2007-01-22, 06:19 PM
A woman in a heavy cloak enters the shop. "Help is wanted?" she asks herself, than shakes her head. "Nah . . . I think I'll just get a copy of the Necronomicon. And do you have anything about the Far Realm? I need to be there . . . last Thursday."

Deus Mortus
2007-01-23, 12:04 PM
((pokes magtok to reply))

Lord Magtok
2007-01-23, 01:18 PM
((Sorry, got the stomach virus. Really screwed up everything for me.))

Magtok comes out of a coma.

I'm sorry about that...what was it you all wanted?

Deus Mortus
2007-01-23, 01:39 PM
I was wondering when the robots would be finished? and I believe that woman over there is looking for a job...

Lord Magtok
2007-01-23, 01:48 PM
To Riddletuck:With our assembly line, they should be finished...now. Now do you plan to pay all at once, or over time, with interest?

To the jobseeker:Miss, what do you believe you can do to help this lab? We are accepting voluntary test subjects, scientists, maintainence staff, and someone to serve customers in the front lobby.

Deus Mortus
2007-01-23, 01:51 PM
I plan to pay now, Riddletuck dumps a few pouches filled with platinum on the counter, Now I am having a mansion build and I would prefer if you simply delivered them there when it is done, unless offcourse that is to much of an inconvience for you...

I do not know for sure sir, I only recently came here and want to earn some money, but I think I can serve in the front lobby if it pleases you.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-23, 02:00 PM
Fine. You'll start at minimum wage, and if you prove worthy, your pay will increase as I see fit.

Tell me where the mansion is being built. I'll get the androids there before you get out the building.

Deus Mortus
2007-01-23, 02:50 PM
Yes sir, thank you sir, when do you want me to start sir?

It's in the noble area, just ask one of the guards there, they can surely show you.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-23, 02:54 PM
You can start right away.

I already located it. Your robots are waiting.

Deus Mortus
2007-01-23, 02:55 PM
Thank you sir, you won't regret this sir!

Very well, toodles then, Lord Riddletuck walks out.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-23, 02:58 PM
Try not to wander into the experimentation area. You'll probably lose an arm or two if you enter there, and I'm not legally responsible for your mistakes.

Deus Mortus
2007-01-23, 03:41 PM
Yes sir, I won't sir, anything I can do sir?

Lord Magtok
2007-01-23, 03:43 PM
Magtok points a finger at the receptionist, and she is transformed into an android.

You'll be taking her place.

Deus Mortus
2007-01-23, 03:45 PM
Yes sir, immediatly sir. Eilcaryn walks towards the desk and sits down.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-23, 03:48 PM
The android/old receptionist is tossed into the experimentation area, and a few shrieks of terror, a splash, and a zap are heard, before a scientist shuts the door.

2007-01-23, 04:27 PM
An illithid walks into the laboratory. Shifting its beady eyes from right to left and back again it moves up to the counter. It moves its revolting face closer to the receptionist and telepathically communicates a message to him.

I require something of... significant delicacy. One that I would prefer not to be known by any who would kill me.

It pulls out a bulky leather bag from its inner pocket and holds it in its hands.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-23, 04:30 PM
What kind of delicacy? We're not exactly a restaurant, ya know.

2007-01-23, 04:36 PM

Something that is made of the base properties and can alter the laws of... *Whisper*

(Sending PM)

Deus Mortus
2007-01-23, 04:38 PM
Eilcaryn orders the desk a bit and watches flabbicus talk to magtok, she could hear all parts except the last.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-23, 04:45 PM
I think we have a brain in an enchanted jar that might work.

He fetches a brain in a jar.

((Gotta go. NPC the sale yourself.))

2007-01-23, 04:47 PM
I was looking for something more along the lines of a creature of pure energy. I don't think I would be able to keep the brain around me for long without being enticed to consume it. Can you not create something to my specifications?

(Can I just assume you have one like that?)


(I'll assume that I can assume that I can. Confused?)

An NPC android makes a frowny face and returns the brain to its former place in the shelves. It goes back and fetches a perspicuous jar partially filled with a bluish viscous mucilage. The illithid grabs the jar and dumps many gold and silver coins onto the counter, taking the leather bag with him as he carries the jar back outside.

Deus Mortus
2007-01-23, 05:29 PM
Eilcaryn carefully takes the money to a safe and returns to her desk.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-23, 05:34 PM
((That was fine, flabbicus.))

The ghost of Magtok creates a portal to another dimension.

I'll be back soon. Just getting some more supplies. We'll probably need a few more magical items, and I think that a legendary weapon from a foreign world will interest some buyers...

Deus Mortus
2007-01-23, 05:37 PM
Any instructions if a customer comes in sir?

Lord Magtok
2007-01-23, 05:48 PM
Overcharge them. I need my new body to be built and funded before we're investigated by the Town Police.

Magtok leaves through the portal.

Deus Mortus
2007-01-23, 05:50 PM
Eilcaryn sits patiently, playing around a bit with a paperclip untill a customer comes in.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-23, 07:52 PM
A portal appears in a wall, and Magtok's ghost returns.

I managed to convince the Axis of Darkness that it won't be needing its library of the dark magical arts. We're also going to get a shipment from another dimension as well. I'm going to have to advertise our brain-spider pets sometime.

2007-01-24, 01:50 AM
{We're waiting . . .}

Deus Mortus
2007-01-24, 07:40 AM
Sir, do you want me to make room for the shipment and ready some advertisement? Eilcaryn turns to the woman, The book you want is 500 Gold, she then turns to Sasic, how can I help you, mam?

2007-01-24, 12:49 PM
"I would like to buy a giant black widow spider to scare people with." Sasic grins. "And a copy of The King in Yellow, if you have it."
Scylla drops a platinum piece onto the counter. "Change, please." She looks at Sasic. "Why do I keep bumping into you?"
They laugh.

Deus Mortus
2007-01-24, 01:45 PM
Eilcaryn quikcly gives the hooded woman change and grabs a copy of The King in Yellow, Sir, we do not have normal black widows, however we could easily create a robot in it's likeness and for a small extra fee we can give it synthetic skin so it looks real, or offcourse if you wish, without they look quite scary as well, the book is 800 gold and the spider would be 5 platinum pieces plus 1 extra platinum piece if you decide that you want the skin.

2007-01-24, 02:44 PM
Sasic thinks a moment. "Just paint it in the colors of a black widow, that shouldn't cost too much." And she gives Eilcaryn the money.
Scylla smiles and puts the book into a bag.
The two women walk out, chatting with each other.

Deus Mortus
2007-01-24, 02:54 PM
Eilcaryn puts the money in the safe and continues waiting for new customers.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-24, 07:49 PM
Magtok creates another portal.

I'm going to make sure we have some actual, living spiders if they return, and get a laser based item or two. Maybe even a dragon egg...

Chaotic Bob
2007-02-01, 07:48 PM
Rizzen appears out of the shadows next to the counter. He stares at the flier for a moment.
Must be the place....
I wonder what they sell here.... he says to no one in particular.

Lord Magtok
2007-02-01, 07:53 PM
You're not a cop, are you? No, you can't be. You don't have the appearance of a meddler. We offer everything unethical, questionable, or debatable by normal scientific standards, from clones to embryonic stem cells, and more than a few things not legally allowed in the Town.

Chaotic Bob
2007-02-01, 08:02 PM
Illegal goods? I think I like this place already. What do you have that deals with the harnessing of shadows?
A small smile appears on his face as he briefly ponders something.

Lord Magtok
2007-02-01, 08:15 PM
We've recently added several dark magicky books to our inventory, and we have several translated versions of each, too. Common, Draconic, and several others.

Chaotic Bob
2007-02-01, 08:40 PM
Pass a Book of the Dark Realms my way and I'll be off.
He grabs a pouch of several gems, and assuming this is enough will take the book and leave.

2007-02-01, 08:43 PM
{Do you have our spider-bot yet? :smallbiggrin: }

Deus Mortus
2007-02-01, 08:45 PM
Eincaryn mails the spider bot to the customer in question.

2007-02-01, 08:52 PM
{Thank you.}

Lord Magtok
2007-02-02, 11:35 PM
((Rizzen paid enough, and is allowed to leave. Which I assume he did.))

Chaotic Bob
2007-02-02, 11:41 PM
((he did and is, amusingly enough, back in jail :smallamused: , although in a slightly different and possibly more favorable position))
A small shadow elemental floats in carrying a small bag of holding. A note on the bag request that the bag be stored safely until Rizzen is released, if the bag is indeed kept safe then payment as decided at the time after Rizzen's release shall be determined and given accordingly.
The elemental floats over to the counter and holds out the bag expectantly.

Lord Magtok
2007-02-02, 11:45 PM
The robotic receptionist not controlled by Deus takes it, and puts it in the other half of the buiding, where no customer or cop has gone yet, thankfully.

Chaotic Bob
2007-02-02, 11:48 PM
The elemental gives one last look, one that conveys anguish to all in the building should anything happen to the bag or its contents. With that over with the elemental floats out.

Lord Magtok
2007-02-03, 10:58 PM
The bag is cyrogenically stored in a three combination lock safe, and in a room able to withstand a nuke.

Lord Magtok
2007-03-15, 09:02 PM
Agent Omega enters the lobby with a frown on his face.

What the hell is this place? And why does it smell like conceited and arrogant cyborg?

2007-03-15, 10:10 PM
*Silas drops by and posts a note: "Alliance with evil non-human needed. By the way, I prepared explosive runes this morning." and leaves.*

Deus Mortus
2007-03-16, 09:49 AM
Eilcaryn walks towards Omega, Can I help you, sir?

Lord Magtok
2007-03-16, 04:55 PM
Agent Omega has a look on his face that suggests his visit is anything but business.

Yes ma'am. I'd like to meet with a certain conceited cyborg's ghost. I'm fairly certain you're familiar with him.

Deus Mortus
2007-03-16, 08:19 PM
Eilcaryn blinks, Could you repeat that, I'm pretty sure I misheard that.

2007-03-16, 08:22 PM
*A courier posts a small note on the front door*

Demi-god lich looking for well trained apprentice with interest in clerical and arcane arts. Will get battleship to command in actual space above this planet, summoning skills and illusionary abilities a must. Inquire at the Temple of Dyrr

Deus Mortus
2007-03-16, 08:27 PM
Eilcaryn notices the courier and excuses herself for a moment and grabs the note from the front door, reads it and quickly puts it on her desk and returns to Omega.

Lord Magtok
2007-03-16, 09:45 PM
Ma'am, this place has Magtok written all over it. Who else would be so over-confident as to put evil lab as the name of this place? You're not fooling me. Just bring me to him, please.

2007-03-17, 08:02 PM
An old man walks in.

Lord Magtok
2007-03-17, 08:08 PM
Agent Omega eyes him suspiciously, as a robot clerk approaches the elderly person.

Sir, I do not know what business you have here, but whatever it is, could we discuss it in the meeting room where the that human won't overhear? Mag...err...the owner of this establishment asks that he alone does not know of what occurs here.

2007-03-17, 08:12 PM
He shrugs.


Lord Magtok
2007-03-17, 08:20 PM
Follow me.

The robot opens a door, and it leads to a simple modern room, with a picture of a sailing boat on a wall, blue carpeting, and a a large table with enough cushioned seats to a 'legitimate business' meeting.

That's better. So what is your business here at the lab?

2007-03-17, 08:22 PM
Poisons that I haven't heard of before.

He summons a book from extra-dimensional space.

Lord Magtok
2007-03-17, 08:28 PM
Any particular preference? A certain amount of time for it to kill? A quantity of pain? Of mutilation? We have many. I personally prefer using alcohol. Often viewed as a good thing, but with the proper amount in the proper amount of time, it can kill. And the drinker is most often actually the one considered responsible if the situation goes to court.

2007-03-17, 08:30 PM
He opens his book to a blank page, about 1,490 pages in.

Any type. I'll make sure I don't already have it written down first though.

Lord Magtok
2007-03-17, 08:39 PM
How about Phazon? It was recently discovered on the planet Tallon IV. It has a bad habit of horribly disfiguring and mutating what it fails to kill.

There is also toxin #5794. Magtok has yet to name it, and it is unusual in can be smoked and chewed, and causes mouth cancer if chewed, lung cancer if smoked, and is legal pretty much everywhere. I believe there is a world that calls it "tobacco."

2007-03-17, 08:43 PM
Mutilating what it doesn't kill is a bad habit?

He takes notes on everything about the poison.

As to this tobacco...

He turns to page 507 and makes sure it is the same. It is, and has a footnote saying: Found in Middle Earth.

Any others?

Lord Magtok
2007-03-17, 08:52 PM
I assume you're familiar with alcohol? There are many too foolish to count it as a toxin. Those meat..err...organisms usually lose their livers to addiction.

I say "bad habit" because many a wild animal had become changed by the substance, and made it considerably harder for the research team to investigate the world.

You might want to consider ultraviolet rays. They are emitted by many stars, and we are working on a device to absorb it from this world's sun, and fire concentrated beams of it at a target, effectively cursing them with skin cancer.

2007-03-17, 08:57 PM
Of course alcohol is a toxin. Why wouldn't it be?

He turns to the first page. In big block letters ALCOHOL is written across the top.

Interesting thing on Ultraviolet, but lacks subtlety.

Do you have any of this "Phazon" for sale?

Lord Magtok
2007-03-17, 09:01 PM
Indeed. Getting it enough of it onto the target usually is usually difficult. Therefore, Magtok found a way to create a very strong form of it that has the effect of a normal sample thirty times its size. It is best to either apply it to a dagger, or some other blade, so it enters the target's body immediately.

We sell the substance, and all prices are negotiable. Let us start with 500 gold pieces for enough to effectively enhance five average size daggers.

2007-03-17, 09:03 PM
He does some quick calculations in his head.

Twice that amount if possible.

Lord Magtok
2007-03-17, 09:11 PM

Parts of the walls open, and thin robotic arms hand the elderly man his Phazon, which is safely contained in an inconspicous bag of holding.

Meanwhile, Agent Omega gets bored and leaves the lobby.

We hope that you enjoyed your time here, sir, and will return sometime to purchase some of our wares. Goodbye.

Shut up, bucket of bolts. I wouldn't give money to Magtok if my life was at stake.

2007-03-17, 09:12 PM
Is it alright if instead of money I pay in information?

Lord Magtok
2007-03-17, 09:22 PM
It depends. What kind of information? Does it concern the human officer that was here, or any of the others that could stand in the Master's way?

2007-03-17, 09:42 PM
Not that form of information, but more of a scholarly form. Such as a poison you have never heard of.

Lord Magtok
2007-03-17, 09:44 PM
Fine. Please proceed.

2007-03-17, 09:51 PM
He opens the book to a well used page.

It reads:

Leaf of Remotihk

Found only in the city of Remotihk, the only place the Remotihk plant grows. Found in the far west.

If mixed with water - No Effect
If mixed with ale - amplifies the effects of the ale 10x.
If mixed with dwarven ale - causes either a small explosion in the stomach, or amplifies the effect of ale 20x.
If mixed with wine - causes immediate retching, fever, and eventually death, indistinguishable from disease.
If mixed with coffee or tea - severe headaches and brain damage.
If mixed with meat - causes burning in stomach, weaker beings may throw up, and demons have been known to die of this.
If mixed with dairy products - causes severe dryness, no amount of liquid can fix.
If mixed with bread - amplifies the effect of the other methods by 4x.
If evaporated and mixed with the air - causes severe blisters.

Lord Magtok
2007-03-17, 09:55 PM
Hmm...I will alert the Master to this as soon as he returns from his business trip. Would you be willing to disclose the location of Remothik and where the Master might find and later synthesize the leaf for mass-production here?

2007-03-17, 10:00 PM
I'll do one better.

He pulls out a pair of leaves and places them on the table.

These are actual leaves.

He scribbles a note with some directions on it.

And this is where it can be found. I believe the city is now a ruin, and the plant grows like wildfire now.

Lord Magtok
2007-03-17, 10:05 PM
Thank you. You may leave now, and we hope you return sometime after Magtok properly synthesizes and enhances this leaf so that all might enjoy its powers.

2007-03-17, 10:08 PM

He puts his newly acquired poison in a vial which vanishes, as does his book.

He leaves, making a mental note to cast Immunity to Poison before he comes in again.