[IC] Erfworld: The Defense of Batusi

[lord pringle]

Your turn dawns. Your scouts in the field have indicated that at least one Lolcatian is fewer than 30 hexes from the city. They could be here next turn. Or the one after that. Or the one after that. You just don't know. Your intel on what they're bringing is critically low.
[War Room]
King Dittoen, Lady Brooks, and all the casters are planning in the war room when a thinkagram is sent to King Dittoen from July, Lolcat's thinkamancer.
"My lord has asked me to deliver this message to you." She begins, with a sleepy rub of her eyes. "If you surrender 80 percent of your treasury and all of your casters to us, you can keep your precious little cities. If not..." She leaves the threat hanging there. "Now, do you agree to the terms or can I sleep now?" She tries to smirk but is interrupted by a yawn.
[War Path]
Dwove has been selected, by virtue of having a flying mount, to run a small scouting operation with Emma and a small disposable squad of footmen mounted on butresses. One member of this expendable squad, unbeknownst to the commanders, is Spanner. Over the course of the last few turns, you've seen suspiciously little. Last you heard, Lolcat didn't have a foolamancer, but you should have had some action by now. The slowest unit in your stack has 24 move, and you're 23 hexes away from the capital.

[Beige Dragon]

"Alright everybody, lets mount up. We're going to head halfway back to the capital, then swing around to the right, searching for any surprise attacks. If anything is spotted, capture them." I clear my throat after that small ramble, and begin to readjust the saddle on my dwagon. I'm glad to finally be out of the capital again, but my chances for glory are quite low without anything to croak. "Archon, what are your specials? We need a shockmancer if we have any hope of capturing an lolcatian and learning their battle plan."

[IamL]

Inew Yewer Gonadeudat IV
I raise my right eyebrow. "She's bluffing. Say no. Lolcat can't afford to stretch out their army much farther than they already have, for they have made a great many enemies in their quest for power. They might be able to take one, maybe two of our minor cities more if they get lucky. I doubt they'd be able to take the capital."
We need to know how much time we have... How much time do we have until Lolcat can bring all of its force to bear?

[Lentrax]

Ahh, the dawn of a new turn.

Emma sits in her tent, a little thing she popped the night before, just enough for her privacy. After all, her Duty demanded she sleep separate from the others, if only so Charlie could thinkagram her new instructions.

True, the terms of the contract with Batusi meant Emma had to act on Batusi's turn, but her Loyalty was still to Charlie, and Charlescomm. So she ate her popped field breakfast, and exited her tent and entered the hex proper. She fiddled with her hat for just a moment before she answered the question.

I do possess some Shockmancy, warlord, though I should point out to you that my talents are only natural, and not trained. If Lolcat does have enemies veiled nearby, I may be of little use in battle.

[Inspector Valin]

The green cloaked Warlady rolled her eyes at Inew's words, sighing once he was done. "Thank you, Predictamancer." Ash Brooks understood the value in appearing strong in front of the enemy, but there was a difference between feigning strength and appearing ignorant of reality. Lolcat had already taken Batusi cities, and had shown no signs thus far of slowing down. They had the upper hand here, and they knew it.

The Commander looked towards the strange King Dittoen, bowing her head before her Ruler. "Sir, the better reason to refuse this is that we'd have to surrender you, too. Without an heir, our side ends, and it would be neutral cities that they end up taking. Not Batusi ones. And if we don't surrender you, we're in breach of the terms, and they have an easier time of attacking us later."

That said, she looked towards the faint blue image of July, scowling at the Lolcatian "It's a backhanded offer, playing at Nobility, without being so themselves. Like all their war effort so far. Hang up, and let the lazy Thinker get back to sleep. We'll be ready for the attack."

[Beige Dragon]

"Still, some chance is better than no chance." I respond to the archon, looking distantly at the sky. "Contact the overlord, and tell him of my plan. We're circling the core territories for any surprise attacks." I pat my dwagon on the head briefly. I shout "Oh, and stay out of our way in combat, I don't want my men getting blinded by your lack of fashion sense.", as my purple dwagon lets loose a blast of sonic energy to the sky, flying upwards with me on it.

[Lentrax]

Well, I never thought... Emma looks down at her attire. It is the standard uniform for one of Charlie's archons, Blue blazer, skirt and shoes. She wonders briefly if she should submit a revised contract that requires politeness from Charlies clients, but dismisses the thought with a huff. Then she closed her eyes as she sent the Thinkagram to the Warlord. Warlord, we are proceeding to sweep around the capital to search for hidden Lolcats. I will most likely be using most of my juice this turn on searching hexes with Foolamancy, and may not be able to call out if we are ambushed.

After sending the missive, she lifts off into the sky as a light blue aura envelopes her. Then, making sure she puts on a bit of a show for the foot soldiers, she crosses her legs and hovers over them.

We should go. He won't wait forever.

[Dusty]

[War Room - Nova Roche, Dirtamancer]

Nova sighed, picking at her nails. With exaggerated disdain, she rolled her eyes at the proceedings and muttered: "Shellac," watching as her nails changed from a rosy pink to a light blue.

They'd known what she'd thought about negotiations with Lolcat from the start: an utterly boorish waste of time to little point and much lost juice besides.

[Tyrann]

[War Room - Albert, Thinkamancer]

When the call came, Albert made a triangle with his hands and projected the head of July into the room. He made sure that both the the room and everybody in it save the king were invisible to the enemy thinkamancer.

Halfway through the call he physically raises an eyebrow, as if surprised by something, though his projection in thinkspace remained stoic as ever.

When Ashley starts speaking, Albert sends this thought to the floating head:

"Tired though your eyes may be, it would seem the Gates of Hell will not permit you avert your gaze quite yet my lady Thinker.
I believe milady warlord wants a word."

And with this he lets Ashley join the call just before she starts addressing July.

[Beige Dragon]

I lead my stack/s as far as our move takes us, and wait for the turn to end.

[DrakeRaids]

Spanner was not having a good day.

Of all the types of combat he'd managed to survive, aerial was the one he had been through the least. It was the place he was at his weakest, and he knew it, which meant if he was likely to get croaked anywhere it would be the sky. He glowered at the butress which wasn't being overly cooperative, as he checked over the small squad he'd been attached to lead.

Noobs, the lot of them. Freshly popped and the ones that didn't look stupidly eager for a chance to throw their lives away looked terrified instead. And crazy dragon guy didn't seem to give a single care. But then, why should he? Everyone knew that they'd been chosen specifically for the expendablity. Well, the ones with half a brain.

He watched the banter between their commander and the Archon, and sighed softly as she flaunted herself for the soldiers. He wasn't really impressed- when she got them out of this alive then she'd be the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Till that point, he wasn't particularly interested in how long those legs where. The other soldiers though, let out of a few whistles and grins, before shooting off after her.

"Got a bad feeling about this." Spanner said, glancing back at his squad as they went airborn, stacking up with the commander. "...We've got no specific orders, so I want everyone taking guard actions every turn until we're told differently. Don't get caught."

[Lentrax]

Emma gleamed at the soldiers as she flew off after the dwagon.

Charlie's Rule #22: Always give the customer what they pay for. Corollary: You can always make them pay later.

As she flies into the next hex, she pumps a teeny amount of juice into her Foolamancy. It popped a small squat rod into her hand. The rod has a button on the side, which Emma presses. Then she sweeps the rod across the hex, looking for veiled units.

Apparently, the rod is unique to her. She isn't sure why yet, just another oddity in her life full of them. She accepts it as part of her Foolamancy.

But as she flies on to the next hex, she feels glad that the contract with Charlescomm required full payment in advance.

[Inspector Valin]

The Warlord nodded her head to Albert with a silent wink. She had always enjoyed the Thinkamancer's company, and there were few people she considered more reliable. She straightened her hair for a second, before the transmission shifted to her: giving the King some time to talk with his other advisors without risk of being overheard. And she had some questions of her own for the enemy. "Yes, Lady Thinker, I've a question, as it happens. Why should we believe any of this?"

Grinning with a mirth she didn't entirely feel, Ashley gestured to one side, dismissively. "You used trickery to overwhelm us without a fight on our northern front. You won't have that opportunity this time, I assure you. What makes your strength so overwhelming that we should bow to you and render up the treasury?"

[IamL]

"Precisely my point, Lady Brooks. They surprised us. And if they will need to overexert their forces to take Batusi-and even if they take Batusi, we can always switch the capital and force them to take all of our cities, something I doubt they have the manpower to do. Also, it would leave them exposed to their enemies on the Eastern front because they'd have to redirect their forces here."

[lord pringle]

[War Room]
"What do you take me for? A Carny? I'm hurt that you consider that I'm tricking you." She says, dodging the question entirely. Her thinkagram then drops.
[War Path]
Your path is rather uneventful, until the end. A couple of Archers on Ceiling Cats engage with you. They fly up to you and begin firing.

[Beige Dragon]

"Buttresses and infantry, fly up close and see if you can knock them off some of the cats. Archon, stun the rest. Hopefully one of these will survival the fall" I fly higher in the air, and have my dwagon fire a sonic blast the foremost ceiling cat.

[DrakeRaids]

Knocking them off the fliers alive would be more difficult then just killing them. Which would risk another turn of shooting, and one of the soldiers, what was his name? Conrad? He was already banged up from the arrows.

Luckily Sir Dwagon whatever hadn't specified the condition that the archers needed to be when they fell off the mounts.

"Lets get em boys." He yelled, raising his spear up as he gestured them forward, charging into the mass of archers. Archers had notoriously low melee capabilities, so this should be over pretty quick if they actually managed to connect with them.

Spanner wasn't sold on this not being some kind of trap though. But orders where orders- you could only misinterpret so much.

[lord pringle]

[War Path]
The cat who takes a direct hit from the dwagon topples. It and it's rider crash into the ground with a loud "PEGGLE". The others attempt to keep the stabbers as far away as possible so they can snipe with care, but it is of little use. The squad begins cutting into them, but the cats are furiously raking the butresses.

[IamL]

Damn...I wish my Prediction wasn't accurate, but that's how it goes. I know it's a prediction because of the strange sense of isolation, tunnel vision, that comes during Predictions. After the call ends, I turn to the rest of the group sitting in the war room. "Damn. I just Predicted that we've got about two turns until they reach us with the bulk of their force. They've also got quick scouts that will probably reach us within the turn. I suggest we hire a Lookamancer, at the very least. I can Predict things, but it's a large amount of Juice for a fraction of what we could figure out with a Lookamancer. If we have the Schmuckers, I also suggest we hire a Foolamancer to help us set up some hit-and-run ambushes on their main column."

[Tyrann]

[War Room - Albert, Thinkamancer]

Albert blinks a few times as the thinkagram ends, then as he readjusts his glasses he touches his temple and thinks
"Are you alright my dear? She is usually much calmer than this. I think I've even mistaken her for a statue once. It seems you hit the nail on the head with the backhanded offer."
Then he looks at Inew and says:

"With respect Inew, I myself am much too fond of Nova's fine work to see it razed into scorched earth as we fall back to Moscau.

But then, I find in matters I am no expert in, it is often best - appropriate criticism aside - to refer to the judgment of those that are.

To add to your prediction: I attempted to trace the call. It seems the enemy thinkamancer went through some effort to hide her position since I located her in three hexes at the same time. One of those was as close as three hexes away from Batusi. This need not mean she wasn't in Lolcat, but I think we can gather that the enemy intends to keep us blind for as long as possible.

So yes, I too agree it would be in our best interest to scout. But, before we rush and commit to things I believe it might be wise to hear what our warlady has to say."

As he finishes he looks at Ashley and folds his hands.

[Inspector Valin]

The Warlday winces as the connection breaks; abrupt and a little painful. Still, it was the work of a moment for Ashley to think back a responce to her old friend, smiling to him across the room. I'm fine, thank you, Master Albert. It was worth a little headache to get the Sleepy-Cat anxious like that.

At the old Thinkamancer's prompting, Marquess Brooks nodded, glancing about the council. She was Chief Warlord here, her call was important. And after that conversation, she was fairly sure of what her advice to Dittoen and the others was. "Their actions suggest that rumors are true. Lolcat are confident enough in victory that they are issuing us unreasonable demands. Thus they must have forces which we are unaware of."

"Until further notice, we must assume that Lolcat has indeed acquired some powerful weapon or spell, that they feel is enough to make this siege a forgone conclusion." Tapping her fingers upon the table, the Marquess held up a hand. "We thus have two priorities. Building our fortifications to the maximum readiness possible. And a targetted strike against whatever force Lolcat intended to turn against us. These, together with proper intelligance, should prove the key to Lolcat's undoing."

She glanced between the magic-users in turn: Albert, Nova, Inew and Dittoen himself. "I am welcome to advice on both points. I have plans for force disposition already in place: drawn from the forces I brought up from the souther's front, but aditional fortification and artifacts are Casters' business. I am unsure of how best to approach this matter." She was exaggerating a touch on the matter of fortification, but Nova was good at her job, and it was not a good idea to offend hired casters.

[Dusty]

[War Room - Nova Roche, Dirtamancer]

Nova had missed the implication of retreat in the Predictamancer's words completely, but at Albert opened his mouth to deliver his own advice, her head jerked towards him in an unseemly fashion, mouth twisting around a flat, disgusted what.

Allow the capital to be razed without giving satisfaction in turn? Certainly not.

Before she could give voice to this most natural of violence, the Chief Warlord spoke, injecting her dry, reasoned tone into the proceedings, outlining her views on strategy and nodding in, if not deference, than at least respect to Nova's greater expertise on matters of fortification. The compliment was subtle, but Nova found herself preening at Ashley's words nonetheless: a lesser warlady would not have scrupled to pretend she was just as informed as the casters about their business. It was what she liked about Batusi: they were professional.

"Fortification depends on a twofold set of resources," she began, nodding in turn to the Chief Warlord as she launched into her twin passions of dirt and gold, "schmuckers and juice. While we are not desperately low on either, if we plan to hire a bevy of casters on the eve of a major battle our options will be somewhat more limited."

She let that hang in the air for a moment: casters in the Magic Kingdom were notoriously well-informed, any willing to take on a contract in such circumstances would be able to command well over thrice their usual asking price.

Opening her pouch, she threw a handful of dust into the air above the table and said: "Osborn," watching as it settled into a replica of the City drawn from her memory.

"So," she smiled, "let's discuss options."

[Tyrann]

As Albert studies the replica he puts his hand over his mouth and rubs his chin for a few seconds as though lost in thought before saying:

"Inew, correct me if I am wrong here, this is certainly not my discipline but," he pauses for a few seconds before continuing "doesn't your prediction that Lolcat will be at our gates in two turns mean that they will be forced by the Titans themselves to actually be there?

If we know exactly where they'll be and when they'll be there this opens up.. options"

[IamL]

"It's a bit more complicated than that, but basically, yes. They'll be here, but not necessarily under the circumstances we assume they'd be under. Given the brash demands, the enemy thinks we will take one of two broad options: prepare for a standard siege or retreat. If we have the Schmuckers, I propose the following: Hire a Lookamancer. This turn, request that the Ark Hams capture a small stack of scouts, but make sure they're seen bringing them to Batmon Astery, where we'll dispatch a small number of Guard Doges. In two turns, when the rest of their forces have appeared, appear, hire a Foolamancer to make it appear as if we had switched our Capital to Batmon Astery-It would be the most logical retreat destination since it's well defended and far away from our capital-and get them to move there. Meanwhile, our troops outside the city get veiled by the Foolamancer, and they harass, hit and run, loot, pillage, and kill their main stack all the way to Batmon Astery. Even if the bluff doesn't work, we'll have a group of veiled units outside the city who can catch the Lolcats by surprise if they try to take Batusi. Any concerns? Things I haven't thought of?"

[Illven]

Forgive me my ignorance about foolmancy matters, but I've never cast even a simple displacement. Wouldn't your plan require two foolmancers. One in this city, and one in Batmon Astery? I remember hearing somewhere foolmancers need to be in the area to cast.

[IamL]

"Being in the area strengthens a spell, but a good Foolamancer should be able to cast a simple Glamour on Batmon Astery. It's not a full-on veil."

[Lentrax]

Foolamancy is an odd thing. For example, Emma could burn some juice into making the Cats think they are hitting up some large catnip bags, but it won't confuse them, because as soon as they hit it, they won't be hitting it.

She could try Shockamancy, but that would really only work on the archers. Of course, her orders are to try and capture...

Flying high up over the stack, Emma prepared her flash bomb. A little bit of juice and a swift drop later, and a large black bar flew from her jacket as she pulled it open. It struck three of the archers from their mounts, and they each dropped with huge stupid grins on their faces.

[lord pringle]

[War Path]
The last two archers both direct their fire at Conrad, dropping him off his butress. The three unmounted Ceiling Cats charge Emma, attempting to claw/claw/bite her out of the sky.

[Dusty]

[War Room - Nova Roche, Dirtamancer]

While it cost a trivial amount of juice to maintain, Nova did not feel that her city model was being given the consideration it deserved, making her tetchy.

"I would hesitate to call my esteemed colleague a fool," she said silkily, evidencing no such compunction whatsoever, "but a capital city cannot merely be 'glammered' without a master class foolamancer at the reins, else everyone would be doing so at a trivial cost. Capitals provide numerous bonuses that would be trivial to verify through some basic mathamancy. Any warlord worth his upkeep would be able to tell if he was attacking a capital or not."

"Furthermore," she said with surprising viciousness, pointing at her replica of the current capital, "why would they not march on us regardless? If we have switched capitals, all the more reason for them to conquer the city in front of them and make a few schmuckers to cover their operating costs."

She sat back in her chair and narrowed her eyes.

"Spend some juice Caster. You don't need to go for a full horoscope, just an eight-ball prediction. Would your plan work?"

[Beige Dragon]

I direct my dwagon to swoop down below the battle, and blast another ceiling cat. As soon as the blast connects, he dives forward, catching it in his maw, chewing the fleshy cat. I quickly scan the ground below the battle "Did any survive the falls?"

[Tyrann]

Albert, still intently studying the model of the city says without looking up:

"If fear gaging whether the plan could work or not would require mathamancy instead.

And as it stands, we cannot use mathamancy on it, because there are too many unknowns."

He turns his head to Nova and continues:

"There are advanced forms of mathamancy that can be used when either a unit's location or a unit's direction are unknown factors, but we will require at least one of those."

He looks back at the model.

"Direction: what drives them. We know nothing of this. They might mean to sack our cities" he points at the outer wall of the model "for Schmuckers. They might intend to capture our casters." As he points to the middle tower "In either of those scenarios the proposed bluff would not work. So too many unknowns.

Veiled units outside the gates clearly would be advantageous." he continues, all the while pointing out what he means "But I feel compelled to say that we do have an Archon in our employ to veil for us, and Lolcat is bringing a siege force. We have three towers filled with aerial units, and a Dirtamancer who can turn the hex in front of our city into a deathtrap."

He finally turns and is now looking directly at the king.

"We also know nothing" he pauses "of how they are moving. They could be tunneling. They could be veiled. They could be doing something entirely else. We simply do not know. So planning a harass while they move is at best a gamble."

He then looks at lady Brooks.

"If we are to set up defenses, we must know where they will be coming from. But I am afraid that while I know some lookamancy myself, this is beyond my capabilities. We should have no problems detecting tunneling." He smiles at Nova, before looking back to Ashley "But for all other manners of hidden transportation I agree with Inew that we might need to buy this intel by hiring lookamancer or.. by asking Charlie, much though it pains me to say it. He is probably the only option we have with guaranteed results.

As for location: that ís now, at least in part, a known factor. If nothing else, their being predicted to be at our capital means they cannot defend Lolcat. And while we may not be in a position for an all out counter attack, we do know Lolcat has many enemies. If this is to become a war of attrition then it might be in our best interest to form an alliance. Many sides have been wronged by Lolcat's underhand tactics, I believe there would be ears for a league to bring them to justice.

If we are to talk to Charlie we will have to be very careful about what we do and do not disclose."

[DrakeRaids]

"Oh goddamnit screen for the caster!"

Urging his mount faster, Spanner flashed towards the first cat, making a quick cut with his blade, slamming it into the creatures head and leaving it there, as he turned and pulled out his spear. If they lost the stupid Archon their would be hell to pay. Literally.

With one cat hopefully dealt with, he pulled his spear out into his hands, and gave it a toss at the other one. A spear was his preferred weapon to be honest. You could make a lot of uses out of it, it was simple, and it was functional. He just hoped it would be enough. There was still after all, one more cat left.

[Lentrax]

When the riderless ceiling cats came for her, Emma giggled. Hello, kitties! She threw her hands around one of the oncoming kitties and gave it a hug.

Snuggling the cat as tight as she could, she spoke to it.

I wanna take you home and love you, and pet you, and feed you for every turn! And to show all three of you how much I love you, I have a present for you! Look down there!

She pointed down to one of trees below, and sure enough, right there on the treetops was a huge ball of yarn. It bounced and rolled teasingly from one treetop to the next. As the kitties dove for the yarn she watched one of them get killed by a spear.

The last ceiling cat dove through the treetops, trying to catch the giant ball of yarn before it vanished, revealing a very large boulder on the ground instead.

A moment later there was a muffled 'ROFLstomp!' from the trees below.

A very bored looking Emma sat, hovering in midair, silently polishing her nails with an emery board. She held her hand out in front of her, inspecting her nails in the late afternoon sunlight.

Bye-bye, kitties, the archon said quietly.

[Dusty]

[War Room - Nova Roche, Dirtamancer]

"Albert, are you seriously suggesting we don't know why they're attacking?" Nova said, raising her eyebrows. "They've already taken two of Batusi's cities, surely we can at least entertain the notion that they're not here for tea and sugar."

[lord pringle]

[War Path]
With that the rest of the cats are croaked. Of the fallen archers, one is wounded badly, but trying to get up, two are incapacitated, and the rest have been croaked.

[Beige Dragon]

"Capture the wounded one. They didn't have a warlord, but maybe we can discern where they were headed. Prepare him for interrogation." I fly my dwagon to the ground, setting up my tent for the end of the turn.

[Lentrax]

Still hovering above the hex, Emma keeps on polishing her nails. With a small scrunching of her face, she opens a Thinkagram to Albert. Sending messages to other Thinkamancers was easier, being familiar to the sensation of people popping in now and again.

Engaged enemy. Captured one low-level archer. Hoping to gain knowledge of enemy orders. Will message again after interrogation.

[Tyrann]

[War Room - Albert, Thinkamancer]

Albert replies to Nova:
"If only they were here for tea.. A war is so much harder to digest. But while I am of the opinion that we should keep things as simple as possible, we should take care to not oversimplify them! Yes, we know they have attacked us and that they will do so again in two turns time. But we do not know what it was that drove them to do so!
We do not know the thoughts behind their actions. They, like us, have a war room. Why did they choose to attack us?
I bring this up because people often forget that both foolamancy and deception have subtle elements of thinkamancy in them. Thinking follows patterns, and knowing those patterns allows for manipulation.
With matters of deception, unless the mind of those you intend to deceive is already known, it is very hard to predict any outcome that was not already predetermined by the Titans."

He stops for a moment and touches his forehead.

"But as the Titans would have it, information might be obtained after all. Emma informs me that their patrol has successfully engaged the enemy and has managed to capture one low-level archer. She says they will interrogate and update after."

He replies
"Roger that. Informing Overlord and Chief Warlord. Good luck."

[DrakeRaids]

Spanner didn't argue. He landed and did as he was told, looking at the poor archer they'd captured. "Come on, don't put up to much of a struggle man. Nothing personal, and at least it won't get you hurt to much. Best make this easy aye?" He glanced over at their commander, pointing over at the two incapacitated archers. "Want them too Bossman?"

[Beige Dragon]

I look over the ground after battle. Hmm. Too many losses. Perhaps we'll turn the archers, but its unlikely. "Capture all 3, and prepare a tent for interrogation. I'll be ready soon enough." I begin to consume my rations, some tasteless salted meat. "We're waiting for response from the capital."

[Lentrax]

Don't know what we will get out of him, but will send results. Break.

If we're going to end turn here then we should interrogate him so I can send the message to the capital before Lolcat's turn.

[DrakeRaids]

Spanner set up the tents, and moved the prisoners inside, but made no move to do the interrogation himself. He'd done it a few times, and didn't have much taste for it. He liked it clean and simple, not all this pulling information business.

[Beige Dragon]

"Since I doubt we're going to get any volunteers for interrogation duty, I suppose it falls to me." I search through our supplies, searching for anything that looks vaguely threatening or usable to maim someone. I soon stroll into the interrogation tent, with a blank face and wielding a dull looking knife. I immediately cut into the face of the lolcatian, slowly drawing it across his mouth. "What do you know about lolcats plans?"

[Illven]

King Dittoen felt out to Emma. Hoping for a thinkagram.

[lord pringle]

[War Path]
The archer screams. "I-I don't know anything! Caleb said-" He shuts up immediately after saying that.

[DrakeRaids]

Spanner winced at the scream, then shook his head, pulling out a canteen and taking a long drink. The bossman was busy playing with the Archer, it looked like the Archon was up in the air sending messages back and forth, and the other soldier left to talk to looked kind of derpy, titans bless her soul. He sighed, and sat down, he considered having them take a guard action again, but what would the point be? Nothing was going to come at them out here.

He hoped at least. He didn't like it out here- to exposed. Give him a good city and a high wall any day of the week. Not this open terrain crap.

[IamL]

[Inew - War Room
"As it just so happens, I know a master class Foolamancer, Derse Spratt, and he owes me a favor. It'll still take a chunk out of the treasury, but it'll be well-worth it. Even without the cash, I can find out the limits of his powers from him. I propose that Nova, Albert and I enter the Magic Kingdom and figure out what we should do from there."

[Lentrax]

They say you don't have to be a Thinkamancer to get a hold of Charlie, but since Emma was, she never had to just focus her thoughts on him. Just send a thinkagram.

Pow. Zoom.

But right now she could feel that someone was trying to get a hold of her.

How much juice does she have? A bit. Okay, well, I guess this guy did pay for her services. Well, not her personal services. That[I] level of service only comes at Preferred level or higher contracts.

Emma opened a thinkagram to the King as he still hovered over the airspace, still giving her nails a good once over with the filing board.

[I]Yes, Majesty?

[Dusty]

[War Room - Nova Roche, Dirtamancer]

"Spratt? That charlatan?" Nova sniffed, spending a moment to mentally consult the treasury. If they had him on a say, 15-turn contract with extensions and bonuses depending on performance, factoring in a favor of non-negligible financial weight..."I suppose if a Foolamancer had to be had he would be... adequate."

It was grudging praise, but Nova knew it would be inconsistent with her Duty to permit herself any more arguments against hiring a Caster. Still, two of the more important voices hadn't made much comment on the plan yet.

"Albert," she said, tapping the hilt of Roland with barely suppressed frustration, "Is everyone on thinkagram today?"

[Beige Dragon]

"Oh no, don't hold back from me. I rarely get to do much in the field...you don't want me to have too much fun here, don't you?" I begin to carve the batusi logo on his chest, slowly drawing the strange bat. "I suppose I wouldn't have to finish this masterpiece, if you're willing to talk..."

[lord pringle]

[War Path]
"Caleb said that if we were captured we weren't supposed to tell you anything!" The archer shrieks out.

[Illven]

Tell me what the captured unit says. King Dittoen requested.

We shall check with the Predictamancer to figure out if what she says is true.

[Beige Dragon]

"Well, Caleb isn't here, is he not?" I make another swift cut on his face. "You can either tell me all you know, and you will live your life in the dungeon." I stab a deep incision into his shoulder, flaying it. "We can continue this until you croak."

[lord pringle]

[Warpath]
"All I know is that we were supposed to scout out the area and report to July if we encountered anything!" The archer breaks down sobbing.

[Tyrann]

[War Room - Albert, Thinkamancer]

"So it would seem." Albert replies to Nova, sounding a little distressed. "Though I am not entirely sure with whom. I suspect the king contacting Emma."

Duty forbids me from interfering in this but I really don't like how he just makes unprotected calls to Charlie.. Not to mention it's a waste of the Archon's juice.

Albert turns to Inew and says: "If we are ordered to do so I will go, of course. But before we do so," he turns to Ashley "lady Brooks, I am afraid that is all the information I can present you with. I must apologize for my little sidestep on thinkamancy with regards to fortification and foolamancy in the field, I fear my enthusiasm for my discipline sometimes gets the better of me.
As for the second part of your question I am afraid my knowledge on artifacts is limited. But I can say this: the few artifacts that I have seen or heard about, while certainly useful, are nowhere near powerful enough to take a city completely uncontested."

[Beige Dragon]

"Good enough." I croak him with a swift stab to the heart, then walk out of my tent. "Archon, we learned nothing other than that they were sent to scout the area and report to a "July". Report this to the capital."

[Lentrax]

Your highness, the captured unit revealed nothing of Lolcat plans before being croaked. He would only say that they were to report to a July. No confirmation of orders, destination, or other stacks in the area. Orders?

[Illven]

And the unit never revealed what this July is?

[Lentrax]

There is a Warlord or maybe a Thinkamancer within their move. Either way, we should probably assume enemy units are nearby.

[Illven]

Knig Dittoen nods.

Break. He commands.

King Dittoen speaks to his commanders

Some of our units have met a scouting party. This party was told to meet with their Thinkamancer. Perhaps one of their casters are away from their capital?

[Tyrann]

Albert pulls up an eyebrow.

"They were told to physically meet up with a thinkamancer? Now why would they do that?"

[IamL]

"Maybe they're having her save her Juice for a big spell of some sort."

[Tyrann]

"Could be, but you predicted it would take them two turns to get here right? So why now then?"

He shakes his head.

"Either way it's a shame we didn't learn anything about her actual location, or how they remain invisible to us.'

[IamL]

"True. But maybe it has to do with the acquisition of the troops they plan to take Batusi with. I Predicted it'd take two turns for them to hit us with 85% of the force they plan to take the city with. Not necessarily that they currently have."

[Lentrax]

Of course, Highness. The archon breaks the call off without a trace of effort. With another shift of focus, she settled down to the ground, adopting her 'tough, but playful' look again.

No new orders. End move here?

[Beige Dragon]

"Yes. Get into a defensive position, though, as we don't know if they had time to communicate with a thinkamancer. We could be surrounded."

[DrakeRaids]

Spanner tied up the incapacitated Archers, and took a defensive action. Nothing to do now but wait till the turn ended, and what came came.

[Dusty]

[War Room - Nova Roche, Dirtamancer]

At the new intelligence, Nova frowned.

"A moment your Majesty, you said that the captured units were to report July? In person?" she asked, her model of the city wavering as her concentration spread itself thinner. Mathamancy was not her specialty, but any Caster worth their weight would be able to add a few schmuckers together and see a stack. With dawning concern she consulted her knowledge of the terrain and with Inew's vaunted prediction... "A Caster as valuable as July would not be travelling with anything less than a full compliment of warlords and heavies, perhaps the bulk of the army itself."

Rulers and Overlords were aware when units of their side croaked. A Thinkamancer would be made aware of any engagements. It was what made them so valuable: any thinkamancer was the heart of communication and intelligence.

"Gentlemen, Warlady," she said, with barely concealed excitement, "is not the implication of these facts that the enemy army is within a turn's move of our scouts?"

[lord pringle]

[War Path]
The other soldier moves over to Spanner. "Sir, you've seen more than me, is this how things usually go?" She gestures to Conrad's corpse with her head. She seems more than a little distraught.

[Al Capwn]

She stands pensively for a new moment. "Indeed it is, Dirtmancer. What is the expense to us to get a Foolamancer to make it look like we changed our capital, and what is left in our treasury?"

[IamL]

Inew - War Room
"Spratt owes me a favor; if we can find him, we could hire him for two and a half dozen Turns for as little as 50,000 Schmuckers. Last I checked, we were just shy of half a million Schmuckers in the treasury."

[Al Capwn]

"Is he strong enough to do what we ask? And would be have enough juice afterwards to check for unveiled stacks near our scouts?"

[IamL]

"He is a master class foolamancer, Mistress. He is capable of putting a glamour on two cities without too much trouble. He can also probably do a few hexes' worth of unveiling."

[Al Capwn]

"Good. I trust that you will hire him." She says briefly, before addressing the rest. "I believe our best course of action would be to pull the guard Doges back to defend the city in case they follow through with their assault, but only after we look for veiled stacks within one turn of our scouts. If they press the assault after our Foolamancy, then we pop as many Doges and other defensively strong units to defend the city."

[Dusty]

[War Room - Nova Roche, Dirtamancer]

Nova blinked, at a loss for words. 50,000? Spread over two dozen turns? For a Master Class Caster?

"Inew," she spluttered, decorum and propriety losing out to her moneymancer's spreadsheet of outrage, "has Spratt gone insane? That is the upkeep of a hired low-level warlord, or, alternately, a first level caster. You could only get that sort of upkeep out of a popped..."

Her words trailed off. Then she visibly relaxed, leaning back in her chair.

"Leaving aside my objections to the original plan and its reliance on Foolamancy," she said, almost airily, as if her outburst regarding the bad money management sense of other casters hadn't just happened, "this is a rare opportunity to acquire an asset at a prodigiously low cost." She nodded to the Warlady, then their Liege. "Allow me to write a quick contract."

She reached into the jacket of her White Snow Rainment, whispered: "Boilerplate," and took out a scroll. It tingled with dormant Signamancy. Unfurling it, she revealed a pre-written contract, with the particulars emerging even as it unrolled, name, upkeep and side all appearing in an elegant looping script. Then she snapped it shut and pushed it towards the Predictamancer.

"No doubt you know what to do already, but just in case he is acting like a scrub: make him sign on the dotted line, Inew," she said, her expression happily predatory.

Then she turned back to her free-floating model of the City, still hovering over the table they sat around.

"King, Warlady, Casters," she said, rubbing her hands together, "to support the troops, Dirtamancy can enhance our defenses or dig traps. There are advantages to both methods..."

[Al Capwn]

"Nova, it may be distasteful, but we are swiftly running out of options. We can not hold this city without trickery, Lolcat is too strong. A dwagon's hoard is useless if the dwagon has been slain."

[IamL]

Inew - War Room
"Lady Brooks, I believe Nova was displaying incredulity at the cost of hiring Spratt. That was an estimate, and it could be more, but the favor I did him was...substantial, to say the least.
Anyway, I believe we should turn attention back to Nova's specialty. She is very good at her job, and I would be loath to get on her bad side.
So, Nova, what can you tell us about the different strengths and weaknesses of traps vs reinforcements?"

[Dusty]

[War Room - Nova Roche, Dirtamancer]

"Marquess," Nova began, in a chilly voice, before Inew cut in with a conciliating explanation. She sat in a broody silence, lips compressed in a thin, unhappy line. How anyone could have interpreted her words to be the precise opposite of what she meant was quite beyond her.

That her penchant for schmucker-pinching had colored the Warlady's perceptions was, of course, preposterous.

"The difference? I could croak every land unit in an adjacent hex with a proper dirtamancy trap," she said, shrugging her shoulders a little too nonchalantly to be natural. "Alternately I could give the walls a defensive boost that would either make it thrice as hard for siege to get through, or give units defending the wall a sizable bonus."

[IamL]

"And which do you, in your professional view, feel would be the safer of the two choices, and which would give us the most potential gain against Lolcat's diverse army? Because we should have a defense that works against a rush of Ceiling Cats, for example, as well as many ground units, because until we find a Lookamancer, we don't know the extent of their forces."