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Thinker
2013-12-30, 01:19 PM
I enjoy creating fantasy races, cultures, legends, monsters, timelines, and religions. I am happy to provide content for other people's worlds and games upon request. I can also provide feedback on anything of that sort that you have already created. I can work with whatever mechanics/stat blocks you have created, regardless of system, but I will not create mechanics or stat blocks for these things. Unfortunately, I'm also not all that good at hard scifi so I'd probably not be the best one to come to for that.

All I need from you is to give me whatever details you have already, the level of fantasy of the world (none, low, medium, high), the technology level of the world, and what you need.

hymer
2013-12-30, 02:55 PM
I'd appreciate any feedback on a campaign world I'm in the process of creating. If you follow this link (http://dark-was-the-dawn.wikispaces.com/), and then click on the 'recent history' link from there, I'd like to know what sort of impression that text conveys to you (and if you find any glaring mistakes, oddities or outright mistakes, feel free to tell me, of course). Any comments on other parts of the wiki are also much appreciated.
It's 3.5 D&D, high fantasy (as in dragons, elves, spellcasters, orcs, etc.).

Really, any sort of conversation about the campaign world can be very helpful, and the players can't easily help, as I have to keep the camapaign's secrets, of course.

Thinker
2013-12-30, 07:43 PM
I'd appreciate any feedback on a campaign world I'm in the process of creating. If you follow this link (http://dark-was-the-dawn.wikispaces.com/), and then click on the 'recent history' link from there, I'd like to know what sort of impression that text conveys to you (and if you find any glaring mistakes, oddities or outright mistakes, feel free to tell me, of course). Any comments on other parts of the wiki are also much appreciated.
It's 3.5 D&D, high fantasy (as in dragons, elves, spellcasters, orcs, etc.).

Really, any sort of conversation about the campaign world can be very helpful, and the players can't easily help, as I have to keep the camapaign's secrets, of course.

The content is good, though it has some obvious format problems. Also, consider a different name than "Recent History". The timeline you provided spans 800 years, which by a human scale cannot be considered recent. Not even our great, great, great, great, great, great grandfathers remembered 800 years ago.

Your formatting is a bit weird. It straddles a line between being a timeline or list of events and being a narrative structure. Unfortunately, this means that it accomplishes neither. I have re-written it as a timeline below, guessing on some of the years where they were not explicitly mentioned. It's fine to have one-line events listed. As a timeline, you also don't need to answer 'why' or 'how' all the time, only 'who, what, where, and when'. You can always flesh out details later when they become important to the campaign or, if you have content now, include the events as their own entry in the wiki and just link to them in the timeline.


??? BC
High elves arrive in Lucem, found realm of XXX.
Goblinoids arrive in Lucem.

100
Humans tribes arrive on Lucem, beginning the decline of goblinoid dominance over the continent.

264
High elves arrive on coast of Northern Lucem.
High elves found the realm of Sorafalas.
Travelers begin to refer to the northern high elves as sea elves.
Travelers begin to refer to southern, forest dwelling elves as sylvan elves.

400?
First permanent human town built in Lucem.

500
Gold dwarves ally with three human nations, XXX, YYY, and ZZZ.
Gold dwarves begin to settle the Eastern Pass from AAA.

523
Gold dwarves begin to build Udushinbar.

670
Exterior construction of Udushinbar is completed.
New dwarf-human treaties provide humans with protection in exchange for provisions.

683
The Empire founds city of Grimsby on Western coast of Lucem.

732
Lucem officially recognized as an Imperial province.

759
God Emperor settles peace between sylvan elves and goblinoids.

884
Suspected death of God Emperor.

887
Rumors begin to spread about God Emperor's disappearance.

890
God Emperor confirmed to be deceased.
Beginning of Imperial Civil War Period.

891
Imperial garrison at Grimsby sacks the city.

892
Paladins of the Three Orders (PotTO) vow to bring order to Lucem.
Grimsby Garrison begins to raid nearby towns and villages for supplies.

894
After numerous unanswered appeals to Imperial Capital, Lucem towns begin to raise their own militias.

896
Governments in Lucem attempt to establish local authority and power.
PotTO declared traitors by the governor of Lucem.

899
Lucem city-states expel PotTO.
Remnants of PotTO flee to Sorafalas.

900
Bands of brigands and warlords encroach upon Sorafalas.
Warlords burn parts of Sorafalas Forest, known as the Immolation of the Elves.
The sylvan city Mindo attacked and burned to the ground.

902
Human warlords turn to magic to combat the sylvan elves.
Magic corrupts land in Sorafalas, causing the dead to rise from their graves.

903
Realizing they could not defeat undead, king of Sorafalas flees to the south.
Sea elves and PotTO establish Varnomar with aid from sylvan elves.

925
Human nations of XXX, YYY, and ZZZ lay siege to Udushinbar in the First Siege of Udushinbar.

935
Udushinbar falls to humans; dwarves flee further into the earth.

940
Iron dwarves arrive in Lucem.
Iron dwarves discover Udushinbar; recognize dwarven architecture held by humans.
Iron dwarves lay siege to Udishinbar in the Second Siege of Udishinbar.

941
Second siege of Udishinbar ends.
Gold dwarves relinquish claims to Udishinbar, remain deep within mountains.

951
Lucem nations officially make peace in the Treaty of 951, officially recognizing Lucem states, cities, and kings.
Lucem officially no longer a part of the Empire.

987
The campaign begins.


Partially because of the format, on my first read, I wasn't certain that the Empire was an external force that gained authority over Lucem. I originally thought it was supposed to be an internal power that called itself an empire. The rise of Imperial authority would seemingly be an important event, but is left out entirely (not even being mentioned until 683).

You seem to have concerns about what the players will know at the beginning of the campaign. An easy way to handle this is to have multiple entries. Public pages containing player-known timelines and event information would represent general knowledge. As general knowledge is not always factual and is prone to twisting by people (intentional or otherwise), it does not necessarily reflect what really happened. This is where a separate wiki article comes in - a GM only page that tells you what really happened. Include separate pages for player info and GM info as necessary for specific events.

I haven't looked into the rest of your wiki, but I hope that this has been helpful!

hymer
2013-12-31, 04:14 AM
You have certainly given me much food for thought. Thanks a lot!