I realized where all our lost keys go

[littlebum2002]

I know everyone's experienced this. You KNOW you had a spare key lying around your house, but when you search for it, you never find it. It just disappeared. Or maybe you could have SWORN you left your keys on that table, but when you look...they're not there. Vanished forever.

Well, you probably didn't know this, but there's a Level 1 Psychic Warrior locked deep in a dungeon somewhere. And he only knows 1 power: Call Item. In case you're not familiar with Call Item, you can manifest it by thinking of an item you want, and you will randomly get one copy of that item from anywhere in the universe.

So every day, this Psychic Warrior manifests Call Item 2-3 times. Every time, he gets a random set of keys from somewhere in the universe. He tries them on his cell, finds out they're not the right keys, and throws them away, and 12 seconds later they disappear forever. One day, he'll manifest this power and the ring of keys in his hand will just happen to have the key to his cell on them, and he'll be free, and our keys will once again be safe. But who knows when this will happen? It might happen tomorrow, it might happen in a hundred years. Maybe he's a construct and this might go on for millennia. We will never know.

[Grod_The_Giant]

http://blog.wodtogether.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/business-cat-meme-generator-my-god-it-all-makes-sense-now-4972b0.jpg
My god, it all makes sense now!

[shadow_archmagi]

There's also a psychic warrior looking for the perfect sock

[Psyren]

{Conspiracy Keanu}
{Sudden Clarity Clarence}

[Dr. Azkur]

Favourite thread so far.

[littlebum2002]

There's also a psychic warrior looking for the perfect sock

Lol totally never thought of that. That would be a pretty funny thing for, say, a Chaotic Neutral Gnome wizard to do. Create a legion of Construct PsyWars who do nothing except steal random items from all over the world. Keys, socks, thumb drives, post-it-notes with reminders on them.

It would have no point except making every person in The universe's life slightly more unpleasant. Like he wants to be an evil mastermind, but isn't very good at it.

[Lightlawbliss]

...Like he wants to be an evil mastermind, but isn't very good at it.

no, he is a very skilled chaotic mastermind. He is making chaos without ever leaving his lair, and effectively getting paid to do it.

[Elderand]

It would have no point except making every person in The universe's life slightly more unpleasant. Like he wants to be an evil mastermind, but isn't very good at it.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-F0F1Zhr0GW4/UYqhSPCDIDI/AAAAAAAAIi4/JqmhQGwfOhs/s1600/s2zg1qc.jpg

[Novawurmson]

Sounds like a Terry Pratchett character. Now all that needs to happen is that he randomly calls a key blessed by the gods to open all locks and pass through all barriers and gets attacked by hundreds of various individuals and organizations all trying to collect it for themselves.

[D4rkh0rus]

This thread made my day.
Now to go back and find my socks.

On another note, I for one, Believe there are ninjas constantly around us. They have Hide and Move Silently maxed out and focused on those.
why else would dogs bark at seemingly nothing?

[Novawurmson]

This thread made my day.
Now to go back and find my socks.

On another note, I for one, Believe there are ninjas constantly around us. They have Hide and Move Silently maxed out and focused on those.
why else would dogs bark at seemingly nothing?

::nods:: If they're Pathfinder ninjas, they can even turn invisible for short periods of time - dogs having scent would render this strategy ineffective against them.

[Reinkai]

So that's where my stuff keeps going...

[Palanan]

Originally Posted by Novawurmson
Sounds like a Terry Pratchett character.

Beat me to it.

:smalltongue:

[littlebum2002]

He DOES sound like a Pratchett character. A lot of those characters he has creep me out. Like the idea of Mr. Pump working under the ocean running a pump for hundreds of years? I don't care if you are a golem, that's gonna be creepy and lonely.

[Sian]

guess theres quite a few of them ... my Pencils always disappear ... and every now and again my tea spoons do as well

[Brookshw]

Very awesome! Thank you :smallbiggrin:

[nedz]

Actually I'm pretty sure it's an old Douglas Adams joke, well about Biros anyway.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy — Chapter 21

[Invader]

"If you relinquish your grip on the item you called for 2 or more consecutive rounds, it automatically returns to wherever it originally came from". Kinda totally ruins the theory... :smallconfused:

[Captnq]

Wow.

You know, I was just thinking about something. You know how they have Living Spells? I was thinking about Living Powers, as in Living Psionic Powers. Suddenly I see this small ball of ooze that flits about, leaving keys, socks, and other assorted items in it's wake.

Being a creature, it doesn't actually have to follow the original power as written.

[The Grue]

"If you relinquish your grip on the item you called for 2 or more consecutive rounds, it automatically returns to wherever it originally came from". Kinda totally ruins the theory... :smallconfused:

Have you never misplaced your keys and searched the entire house to find them, only to give up and spot them in an exceedingly obvious place? And then wondered why you didn't see them there before?

[Elderand]

"If you relinquish your grip on the item you called for 2 or more consecutive rounds, it automatically returns to wherever it originally came from". Kinda totally ruins the theory... :smallconfused:

Actually it's even better. See before you just assume you lost whatever you were looking for. But now, now you are absolutly certain that you looked in that pocket and there was nothing. You know it ! It's an absolute fact. And yet, when you look again to humor your significant other/mom/kid (bar useless) you find what you were looking for.

And now the knowledge of what you knew to be empty and the absolute undeniable presence of the key in that place will drive a wedge into your sanity. Slowly but surely it will erode your very soul. For if you cannot trust yourself with such a simple fact how can you trust yourself with more important things ? How many other things you think are real and true are simply fabrication from your diseased mind ?

Paranoia will slowly settle in, and so you will become dependent on other to double check everything again.

And then....it happens again, and this time you have someone else to confirm it. But are they truly confirming it ? Or are they responsible for it ? Are they the one playing trick upon your poor fragile psyche in the hope of breaking you forever ?

But will you let them ? You won't ! You can't, you have to get rid of them right now, you have to protect yourself, don't you see ? It is mere self defense, you aren't mad afterall, it's someone who is out to get you and you need to do something about it.

And so you do it, you pick up your fork and stab them repeatedly in the eyes with it, all the while laughing manicly and then ! THEN !

the fork disappear

And now you realise what you've done, it wasn't someone out to break your mind, it was all a cruel trick from an uncarring universe. And that forbidden knowledge ensure that when the constable comes to investigate the disappearance of your friend, he will find you find you rocking slowly in the corner, keeping all your possessions in front of you, carefuly displayed in an effort to understand the pattern of disappearances.

And as they drag you in a mental institute the whole town will hear your scream of "I'm not crazy ! they all vanish, vanish I tell you ! Nothing is real !"

[D4rkh0rus]

Actually it's even better. See before you just assume you lost whatever you were looking for. But now, now you are absolutly certain that you looked in that pocket and there was nothing. You know it ! It's an absolute fact. And yet, when you look again to humor your significant other/mom/kid (bar useless) you find what you were looking for.

And now the knowledge of what you knew to be empty and the absolute undeniable presence of the key in that place will drive a wedge into your sanity. Slowly but surely it will erode your very soul. For if you cannot trust yourself with such a simple fact how can you trust yourself with more important things ? How many other things you think are real and true are simply fabrication from your diseased mind ?

Paranoia will slowly settle in, and so you will become dependent on other to double check everything again.

And then....it happens again, and this time you have someone else to confirm it. But are they truly confirming it ? Or are they responsible for it ? Are they the one playing trick upon your poor fragile psyche in the hope of breaking you forever ?

But will you let them ? You won't ! You can't, you have to get rid of them right now, you have to protect yourself, don't you see ? It is mere self defense, you aren't mad afterall, it's someone who is out to get you and you need to do something about it.

And so you do it, you pick up your fork and stab them repeatedly in the eyes with it, all the while laughing manicly and then ! THEN !

the fork disappear

And now you realise what you've done, it wasn't someone out to break your mind, it was all a cruel trick from an uncarring universe. And that forbidden knowledge ensure that when the constable comes to investigate the disappearance of your friend, he will find you find you rocking slowly in the corner, keeping all your possessions in front of you, carefuly displayed in an effort to understand the pattern of disappearances.

And as they drag you in a mental institute the whole town will hear your scream of "I'm not crazy ! they all vanish, vanish I tell you ! Nothing is real !"

You sir, Deserve 1 internets

[MesiDoomstalker]

Actually it's even better. See before you just assume you lost whatever you were looking for. But now, now you are absolutly certain that you looked in that pocket and there was nothing. You know it ! It's an absolute fact. And yet, when you look again to humor your significant other/mom/kid (bar useless) you find what you were looking for.

And now the knowledge of what you knew to be empty and the absolute undeniable presence of the key in that place will drive a wedge into your sanity. Slowly but surely it will erode your very soul. For if you cannot trust yourself with such a simple fact how can you trust yourself with more important things ? How many other things you think are real and true are simply fabrication from your diseased mind ?

Paranoia will slowly settle in, and so you will become dependent on other to double check everything again.

And then....it happens again, and this time you have someone else to confirm it. But are they truly confirming it ? Or are they responsible for it ? Are they the one playing trick upon your poor fragile psyche in the hope of breaking you forever ?

But will you let them ? You won't ! You can't, you have to get rid of them right now, you have to protect yourself, don't you see ? It is mere self defense, you aren't mad afterall, it's someone who is out to get you and you need to do something about it.

And so you do it, you pick up your fork and stab them repeatedly in the eyes with it, all the while laughing manicly and then ! THEN !

the fork disappear

And now you realise what you've done, it wasn't someone out to break your mind, it was all a cruel trick from an uncarring universe. And that forbidden knowledge ensure that when the constable comes to investigate the disappearance of your friend, he will find you find you rocking slowly in the corner, keeping all your possessions in front of you, carefuly displayed in an effort to understand the pattern of disappearances.

And as they drag you in a mental institute the whole town will hear your scream of "I'm not crazy ! they all vanish, vanish I tell you ! Nothing is real !"

This sounds like a pitch for a Dr. Who episode. Little Gremlin alien's who steal random things and slowly drive people mad.

[Dr. Azkur]

And I thought it wouldn't get better...


"If you relinquish your grip on the item you called for 2 or more consecutive rounds, it automatically returns to wherever it originally came from". Kinda totally ruins the theory... :smallconfused:

Either it's like The Grue said (which I find quite unsettling) or he just sees no point in losing 2 rounds worth of his time and throws it away, quickly summoning another one.

[CIDE]

Where is the like button? WHERE IS IT?!

http://www.quickmeme.com/img/7b/7bca4ec540698f0ace60bae68cb735c4fb033b2e76d1e51b8e 576b07799a0523.jpg

I only realized after the fact that the picture applies to my sentiment about my missing key as well. Wow, you guys are eerily good.

[Killer Angel]

But who knows when this will happen? It might happen tomorrow, it might happen in a hundred years. Maybe he's a construct and this might go on for millennia. We will never know.

Or he's a prisoner, trapped in carcery, and his pain will last forever, ala greek mithology (Prometheus, and all that stuff). :smallbiggrin:

[littlebum2002]

Where is the like button? WHERE IS IT?!


Lol! I, too, saw that post and looked for the thumbs up button for a few seconds before I realize it wasn't there...


Maybe he's in a cell with a broken antipsionic field. It allows things in but not out. So the let's come in but he has to sneak them out in his chamber pot.

But I like the idea of then returning better anyway.

[Darkz0r]

Hahhahah, great thread!! :smallcool::smallcool:
Unexpected :P

[D4rkh0rus]

Lol! I, too, saw that post and looked for the thumbs up button for a few seconds before I realize it wasn't there...


Maybe he's in a cell with a broken antipsionic field. It allows things in but not out. So the let's come in but he has to sneak them out in his chamber pot.

But I like the idea of then returning better anyway.

If it were the evil gnome master, he would have an antimagic/antipsionic field shaped into bins. his minions would call in those items and throw them into the bin, forever to remain there.

[ben-zayb]

Thanks guys. This thread is a great way to start (more or less) an awesome year.

[137beth]

This is perfect:smallbiggrin:


But wait? Can a Null-psionics field protect me?

[Neknoh]

Sounds like a Terry Pratchett character. Now all that needs to happen is that he randomly calls a key blessed by the gods to open all locks and pass through all barriers and gets attacked by hundreds of various individuals and organizations all trying to collect it for themselves.

¤yoink¤

http://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/03/06/artists-steal/

[Vhaidara]

The gnome idea reminded me of a suervillain I was going to use.

Million year old lich Sorcerer who knew Flesh to Stone, and had several acres of land. And his goal was to fill the entire thing with garden gnomes. Made of real gnome.

The problem I still haven't solved is getting the party to care...