D&D stories that are so bad that they're good

[Zancloufer]

Or so good that they are bad.

So I would think that despite what most this forum consists of I think most can agree that it's the actions of the players, even in their most insane schemes, that can really make D&D sessions fun.

So I have here, a somewhat abridged (but still lengthy) but crazy coincidence of events that ended up making what might very well be the worst case of accidental (fantasy?) racism in a D&D game.

So in the beginning the party start off in a small unnamed village. The most impressive building is a library run by an off-kilter Elf who relative age and attitude would be little better than teenage relative to humans. She's also one of the PCs (Wizard//Rouge). So after getting her assistant (another PC, rather burly) to break someone's arms for failing to return a library book a mysterious stranger wants to buy her library. With said money she can open a better one in a bigger city even. So after accepting the deal and gathering up some adventurers (the PCs) they set off to find a larger city.

So they come across a somewhat run-down city. Use to be quite influential and powerful in the region but had fallen on hard times recently.
"Like Detriot?"
"Sure, why not, you find the city of Detroyiat" (Since I had no better name for it at the time, and it's description was similar to Detroit)

So after getting a massive amount of land dirt cheap and some even cheaper labour our Crazy Librarian gets to work on making her new library. Along the way they find out the mayor is an incredibly lazy, slobbish, and fat Halfling which spends most of the city's budget on his "Banquet Expenses". When you jib over 50% of the levies of a city of about 90,000 for food one seems rather villainous. So the party took it upon them selves to be vigilantes and run the Mayor out of the city for the good of everyone. Right?

Nope, they just wanted to run the city themselves and it seemed like a good way to remove the competition. So after a complicated and convoluted look into what a mess that election laws where in Detroyait they manager to barley beat the Drug Dealing owner of the black market in the city and get out librarian PC elected as Mayor.

(Okay I know this is a fair bit of back story, but most of it matters, and I want to paint a picture of this PC in particular).

So not long after becoming Mayor the Party confiscates a hefty amount ~190 proof moonshine. With the super intelligent Librarian PC (20 Int at level 1!) abuse her ~30 net ranks in craft alchemy and figures out a way to make explosives by mixing the 190 proof with the D&D equivalent of Drano. Lo and Cloraplox a deadly alcohol based explosive is made. So as party of her plan to get the city back on it's feet, she gets a massive amount of industry going, most of it aimed at making this Cloraplox and making methods of delivering it.

So after fixing up the city, nearly getting invaded by an empire north of them and loosing ~95% of the militia that they trained the PCs decide to go off on some epic adventure across the continent and leave they're barely defended city alone for some reason. Without fixing it's lack of military force, or try to stop people from invading it.

So while they're gone, not only does the Empire try to invade/Annex the city again but a bunch of Dark Elves take over the poor half of the city. So when the PC's get back they find that the city has been invaded both by that empire AND a bunch of Dark Elves. Upon realizing that the Dark Elves seem to like to hang out around the explosive factories our Brilliant Elven Librarian Decides to just blow them up to get rid of the Dark elves, even though that would probably burn down the the poor half of the city.

In response I got a:
"If I can't have this city no one can! Especially not the Dark Elves!"
So the poor half of Detroyait was burned down by an uppity Teenage Grey Elf to stop the Dark Elves from having it.

So worse case of Fantasy racism in a D&D game ever? Or does someone have an even worse story to share?

[(Un)Inspired]

Is see where you're trying to go with this thread. It's fun to share stories that happened at tables you were actually playing at. But... Your story kinda made me feel uncomfortable. It's not just fantasy racism if you model you city on an actually city with real world race relation troubles then have the poor half of the city be filled with a dark skinned race... Then genocide them ...

[AMFV]

Is see where you're trying to go with this thread. It's fun to share stories that happened at tables you were actually playing at. But... You story kinda made me feel uncomfortable. It's not just fantasy racism if you model you city on an actually city with real world race relation troubles then have the poor half of the city be filled with a dark skinned race... Then genocide them ...

The Drow have always been chalk full of unfortunate implications both with regards to sexism and racism, it's actually why I avoid them and I'm pretty okay with some fantasy racism or sexism, the Drow just handle it particularly badly, in my opinion.

[HaikenEdge]

I once had a PC from a culture that had never heard of halflings, so the first time the PC met any halfling, the PC always treated the halfling as a child. It made for some really interesting interactions.

[Randomocity132]

So while they're gone, not only does the Empire try to invade/Annex the city again but a bunch of Dark Elves take over the poor half of the city. So when the PC's get back they find that the city has been invaded both by that empire AND a bunch of Dark Elves. Upon realizing that the Dark Elves seem to like to hang out around the explosive factories our Brilliant Elven Librarian Decides to just blow them up to get rid of the Dark elves, even though that would probably burn down the the poor half of the city.


This sounds like Skyrim. A lot. I'm getting a damn clear image of Windhelm.


Is see where you're trying to go with this thread. It's fun to share stories that happened at tables you were actually playing at. But... Your story kinda made me feel uncomfortable. It's not just fantasy racism if you model you city on an actually city with real world race relation troubles then have the poor half of the city be filled with a dark skinned race... Then genocide them ...

He didn't model the city on Detroit. He just created a city that happened to share characteristics with Detroit, then a player suggested naming it that. Additionally, Drow in D&D are unequivocally evil, so the PC was fairly justified in wanting to "genocide them". The whole POINT of the OP's story was that this was all a coincidence, not a "lemme TRY to make my city a model for racial tensions".

[AMFV]

This sounds like Skyrim. A lot. I'm getting a damn clear image of Windhelm.



He didn't model the city on Detroit. He just created a city that happened to share characteristics with Detroit, then a player suggested naming it that. Additionally, Drow in D&D are unequivocally evil, so the PC was fairly justified in wanting to "genocide them". The whole POINT of the OP's story was that this was all a coincidence, not a "lemme TRY to make my city a model for racial tensions".

There are good Drow, I mean even Drizzt, though I groan inwardly, also the followers of that naked sword chick from FR, who infiltrate the drow.

[BWR]

So worse case of Fantasy racism in a D&D game ever? Or does someone have an even worse story to share?

Hardly. What my group did to Azcans and wood imps in Hollow World is probably not something I'm allowed to share on these boards. I suppose the most I can say is it was fortunate for them we were just murderhobos who were poster children "I'm not evil, I'm Chaotic Neutral" and that we didn't have the resources of an entire country at hand.

[Randomocity132]

There are good Drow, I mean even Drizzt, though I groan inwardly, also the followers of that naked sword chick from FR, who infiltrate the drow.

All rules in D&D have exceptions, but unless the OP specifically gave exceptions to each Drow in the city, their default alignment is evil.

[AMFV]

All rules in D&D have exceptions, but unless the OP specifically gave exceptions to each Drow in the city, their default alignment is evil.

Also, genocide just because something is evil, is kind of evil and of itself, at least to my thinking. I mean these aren't fundamentally evil like Fiends, these are evil philosophically and killing them for that reason seems pretty nasty to me.

[Randomocity132]

Also, genocide just because something is evil, is kind of evil and of itself, at least to my thinking. I mean these aren't fundamentally evil like Fiends, these are evil philosophically and killing them for that reason seems pretty nasty to me.

Most of D&D revolves around the presumption "If a whole race of things pings as evil, it's ok to kill them for XP"

[(Un)Inspired]

He didn't model the city on Detroit. He just created a city that happened to share characteristics with Detroit, then a player suggested naming it that. Additionally, Drow in D&D are unequivocally evil, so the PC was fairly justified in wanting to "genocide them". The whole POINT of the OP's story was that this was all a coincidence, not a "lemme TRY to make my city a model for racial tensions".

It was not completely a coincidence. Yes the DM named the city after Detroit on a whim but while the party was away he moved a dark skinned race into the poor areas of town. Then he posted this thread. The title of the thread even days that his story was bad but that he was entertained by it. Yes the drow in d and d are "evil" but once you start creating analogues to real world cultures and then you massacre them I start to feel uncomfortable.

[AMFV]

Most of D&D revolves around the presumption "If a whole race of things pings as evil, it's ok to kill them for XP"

Not really... Most of D&D pings around the assumption that killing in self defense is okay, and most monsters attack you, generally.

[Randomocity132]

Not really... Most of D&D pings around the assumption that killing in self defense is okay, and most monsters attack you, generally.

Heh. Not in any of my campaigns. Camps of bugbears minding their own business are considered fodder, no matter who the DM is, it seems.


It was not completely a coincidence. Yes the DM named the city after Detroit on a whim but while the party was away he moved a dark skinned race into the poor areas of town. Then he posted this thread. The title of the thread even days that his story was bad but that he was entertained by it. Yes the drow in d and d are "evil" but once you start creating analogues to real world cultures and then you massacre them I start to feel uncomfortable.

Oh good gosh. He didn't CREATE an analogy to real world cultures. He didn't say the city manufactured automobiles, or that the drow were really good at basketball or anything. A city that happens to get the same name is invaded by drow while the PCs are out. It's entirely possible the DM planned for the city to be raided by drow at some point, but the removal of the city's defenses made it into a take-over.

[(Un)Inspired]

Heh. Not in any of my campaigns. Camps of bugbears minding their own business are considered fodder, no matter who the DM is, it seems.



Oh good gosh. He didn't CREATE an analogy to real world cultures. He didn't say the city manufactured automobiles, or that the drow were really good at basketball or anything. A city that happens to get the same name is invaded by drow while the PCs are out. It's entirely possible the DM planned for the city to be raided by drow at some point, but the removal of the city's defenses made it into a take-over.

Do you think there was no significance to the fact the the race living in the slums was dark skinned and that the city his fantasy city shares a name with also has a disadvantaged class that stereotypically is made up primarily on a dark skinned ethnicity?

That it is just a coincidence that he also posted a story of his sheepish enjoyment of fantasy racism that had parallels (however flimsy you seem to think they are) to actual racist situations?

My friend, I believe our interpretations of the story differ greatly.

[Randomocity132]

Do you think there was no significance to the fact the the race living in the slums was dark skinned and that the city his fantasy city shares a name with also has a disadvantaged class that stereotypically is made up primarily on a dark skinned ethnicity?

That it is just a coincidence that he also posted a story of his sheepish enjoyment of fantasy racism that had parallels (however flimsy you seem to think they are) to actual racist situations?

My friend, I believe our interpretations of the story differ greatly.

That's the point of the thread. That it was a scenario that kind of seems racist, created UNINTENTIONALLY.

[AMFV]

That's the point of the thread. That it was a scenario that kind of seems racist, created UNINTENTIONALLY.

We should probably avoid scenarios of fantasy racism that are close to real world racism though, as that could be seen to be racist and could present a problem. Or might prove unpleasant for some folks.

[Randomocity132]

We should probably avoid scenarios of fantasy racism that are close to real world racism though, as that could be seen to be racist and could present a problem. Or might prove unpleasant for some folks.

Literally anything in the world is unpleasant for SOME folks. What matters is the players and DM involved with the campaign.

[scsimodem]

We should probably avoid scenarios of fantasy racism that are close to real world racism though, as that could be seen to be racist and could present a problem. Or might prove unpleasant for some folks.

I would add the caveat 'unless it's handled maturely.' Several of my homebrew campaigns have had an element (sometimes central to the plot, but not always) or real-ish looking race relations regarding the backstory. For example, in a campaign I'm running now, about a century prior, the most massive orcish army ever assembled was wiped out by the Empire. Since then, the orcs have mostly given up on conquest. There are still barbarian tribes that raid civilized areas, but there's been a century of migration of (mostly) unarmed orcs just forgetting the barbarian lifestyle and trying to get normal jobs so their families can get a better life. After centuries of bloodshed, many people are bothered by this. I've been trying to play it as straight as possible, and a few things have ended up hitting a little close to home, but it has also created an interesting moral dimension to the game and really shaken up what an 'orc' is.

[AMFV]

I would add the caveat 'unless it's handled maturely.' Several of my homebrew campaigns have had an element (sometimes central to the plot, but not always) or real-ish looking race relations regarding the backstory. For example, in a campaign I'm running now, about a century prior, the most massive orcish army ever assembled was wiped out by the Empire. Since then, the orcs have mostly given up on conquest. There are still barbarian tribes that raid civilized areas, but there's been a century of migration of (mostly) unarmed orcs just forgetting the barbarian lifestyle and trying to get normal jobs so their families can get a better life. After centuries of bloodshed, many people are bothered by this. I've been trying to play it as straight as possible, and a few things have ended up hitting a little close to home, but it has also created an interesting moral dimension to the game and really shaken up what an 'orc' is.

I was actually referring to the context of this forum. Personally as far as games go any topic is on the table as far as I'm concerned.

[Azoth]

Sorry to say but some people will always look for a way to turn something into a prejudice situation. Regardless of actual intent. Whether it be IC or OOC. They just will. It is best in these situations to stop feeding the fire by arguing with them.

[ahenobarbi]

Do you think there was no significance to the fact the the race living in the slums was dark skinned and that the city his fantasy city shares a name with also has a disadvantaged class that stereotypically is made up primarily on a dark skinned ethnicity?

That it is just a coincidence that he also posted a story of his sheepish enjoyment of fantasy racism that had parallels (however flimsy you seem to think they are) to actual racist situations?

My friend, I believe our interpretations of the story differ greatly.

I think I had enough moments I made my table laugh because something had second meaning I didn't think about to interpretacji the thread as innocent sharing of funny game situation.

Also you are awfully close to offending OP.

[Ansem]

The fact my characters are always most likely to die since I get completely gangbanged by full-attacks if Im the only one doing actual damage.

[TuggyNE]

So I would think that despite what most this forum consists of I think most can agree that it's the actions of the players, even in their most insane schemes, that can really make D&D sessions fun.

Wat? :smallconfused: Not sure if should feel offended or just baffled.

[eastmabl]

Hopping back on topic:

Level 13 bard (me) with a pimped out bluff check and the Glibness spell walks into a bar with a map and my party. We needed to take out the Big Bad Guy, and we had targeted where he was located with an X on the map.

I get the bar riled up about how bad the X was by telling them how awful the X on the map was. I continue to be ridiculous by telling them that the X killed my family, and that we need to go get our revenge on the X.

The result on Bluff check was 66. The whole bar of 100 patrons tore the bar apart for torches and improvised weapons, and then took off for the location of the X. However, the rogue and fighter left their equipment back on our boat, and had to go back for it while the cleric and I waited outside the dungeon (that was the X).

Undeterred, the mob walked into the dungeon. The first room of the dungeon did 2d6 damage unless you passed a DC 20 Fortitude save... and then it raised anyone it killed.

When the fighter and the rogue got back, we had 100 zombies to clear out of the first room. (Goodbye, wand of fireball).

[iceman10058]

yes yes yes, racism is wrong and detroit is a horrible place to live, but this is a game last i checked.

however, how the pc's deal with the situation in the slums is actually kind of interesting dynamic to expose them to, expecially if alignments are in question.

i think the fact that the game got a dose or realism is kinda nice and adds an unexpected challenge.

[danzibr]

Hopping back on topic:

Level 13 bard (me) with a pimped out bluff check and the Glibness spell walks into a bar with a map and my party. We needed to take out the Big Bad Guy, and we had targeted where he was located with an X on the map.

I get the bar riled up about how bad the X was by telling them how awful the X on the map was. I continue to be ridiculous by telling them that the X killed my family, and that we need to go get our revenge on the X.

The result on Bluff check was 66. The whole bar of 100 patrons tore the bar apart for torches and improvised weapons, and then took off for the location of the X. However, the rogue and fighter left their equipment back on our boat, and had to go back for it while the cleric and I waited outside the dungeon (that was the X).

Undeterred, the mob walked into the dungeon. The first room of the dungeon did 2d6 damage unless you passed a DC 20 Fortitude save... and then it raised anyone it killed.

When the fighter and the rogue got back, we had 100 zombies to clear out of the first room. (Goodbye, wand of fireball).
Haha, oh man, that's awesome. Totally using this in a future campaign (I wonder if the DM threw in the you-die-then-become-a-zombie-thing before or after the 100 scrubs decided to rush the BBEG.

[IslandDog]

After completely missing the target AC for a group of 5 rats for about 6 rounds (dealing no damage), a level one PC deals 32 damage to a rat. It had one hitpoint.

[CrazyYanmega]

So many to choose from the cheese campaign.

The time the bard told his dire wolf to charge an enemy, causing the wolf to fall in a pit of acid. Then he ran PAST the drowning wolf and fell in a different acid pit. The druid rescued the wolf and said "You know, if you were MY animal companion, I wouldn't abandon you in a pit of acid."

The time the druid got a Chaos Roc as an animal companion.

The time the druid nuked a pirate ship.

The Decepticon Autobot Time Lord Alchemist Gnoll Barbarian. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=16733201&postcount=45)

The time the druid started talking to rocks, causing the DM to pause the game for 15+ minutes as he pieced together what the rocks knew.

The time the Bard killed and usurped Santa Claus.

The Entangle Spell.

The time the party learned the hard way that Bebilith apparently ate Devilfruit.

The time the party spent 3-4 rounds killing a Mockery Monarch. And then proceeding to nearly be TPK'd in 8-9 rounds by it's unmoving corpse.

Oh, speaking of near TPKs, I can't forget the time the Drow Cleric gave birth.

I'll post more as I remember them.

[Armaius]

Well, the last (finished) game I was in was pretty insane.

I played a Druid that decided to pretend to be a god because he enjoyed the attention and praise (at one point, he was basically preaching about himself and how great he was), and was allied with a young Elf maiden possessed by a demon, a pious halfling (who kept blaming my character for blasphemy - rightfully) and who led a secret religious themed ninja-spy ring and a Paladin married to a Succubus, which he later ended up killing after a long, bizarre chain of events that basically turned him into something looking rather like Serphiamon, from the Digimon franchise.

That campaign was awesome.

[eastmabl]

Haha, oh man, that's awesome. Totally using this in a future campaign (I wonder if the DM threw in the you-die-then-become-a-zombie-thing before or after the 100 scrubs decided to rush the BBEG.

Fairly sure that it was an on the fly adjustment he made to the herd of NPC clamoring into the dungeon.

We still joke about it to this day.

[mucat]

Heh. Not in any of my campaigns. Camps of bugbears minding their own business are considered fodder, no matter who the DM is, it seems.
So that applies to your group's campaigns, not "most of D&D" as you had stated in a previous post.

[johnbragg]

Is see where you're trying to go with this thread. It's fun to share stories that happened at tables you were actually playing at. But... Your story kinda made me feel uncomfortable. It's not just fantasy racism if you model you city on an actually city with real world race relation troubles then have the poor half of the city be filled with a dark skinned race... Then genocide them ...

Not sure if it matters, but I'd like to raise the point that the Venn diagram of Drow tropes and racist-tropes-about-black-people overlap is pretty much "dark skin."

The time we evaded an encounter with a Gray Ooze in the forest, then doubled back and lured the Gray Ooze into fighting the hydra in the lake for us.

[Zancloufer]

Oh, some nice replies here, and while there are some other stories, I'm going to respond to points brought up about mine:

First, the fact that this is horribly racist. In a way it is, I don't mean to offend people, this is just something so terrible it's funny. Not to much the horrible mass murder, in fact no one really found at first. It was only ~2 weeks later when we where recounting the story to a player who lived out of province but was around at the start came back for a session. He after hearing the story compressed it into like one sentence that made us realize exactly what it meant.

Now mind you I and many of my friends/family find some humour in this, but then again we have REALLY twisted senses of humour (Working at Funeral Home tends to really mess up what one finds funny). Still it's more of a "Holy Crap you did WHAT?" Then "Ha Ha, Mass murder of a species if funny".

A lot of serious discussion did come up here, and I would ask this: Does the fact that this story is close to reality in ways make what the Players did worse? I mean is blowing up a city to evict "Evil" creatures somehow less horrible just because it's not racial? Either in game, or just being similar to a racial analogy in reality?

Also, on a scale of 1-10, how horrible do you think the PC's action was?

[Sith_Happens]

Oh, speaking of near TPKs, I can't forget the time the Drow Cleric gave birth.

Please elaborate.

[CrazyYanmega]

Please elaborate.

So the Drow was pregnant, and the DM had found the rules about pregnancy. He needed to stall for time and decided that the time was right for the Cleric's water to break. All hell broke loose.

Now, the person who was in the least amount of danger was the Drow. The druid was on hand and cast Vigorous Circle, Sheltered Vitality, Nature's Balance (CON), and a few other protective spells for good measure. Her Elf Ranger HUSBAND, on the other hand, I neglected to treat with the same protective spells. As a show of solidarity, he activated a ring that split any damage and pain she felt between each other. BIG MISTAKE.

The Elf was instantly on the ground, writhing in pain and being grappled by his wife. When the baby was born, covered in blood and other body fluids he failed his Will Save and fell unconscious. And then the SECOND baby was being born.

The druid had his hands full with the first baby and had become sickened, so we had to leave it to the Dwarf Bard. The Chaotic Neutral Dwarf Bard. AKA the Voice of Chaos.

Actually, he handled the birthing pretty well, catching the baby properly... until the placenta hit him square in the face. He barfed on the baby, and the Druid panicked. I, the druid, cast Create Water at body temperature to try and wash off the vomit, which would have killed the baby with shock if the bard hadn't succeeded on a reflex save.

And that's the story. You know, that reminds me. There was also the time the group whored out the Dwarf to an adolescent Red Dragon in exchange for information and a couple of spells.

[Pumpkin Tiger]

Well i did something very stupid once that only need a few words. I made a catfolk that was a pumpkin. He had a pumpkin cat head and was a fighter with a body made of roots.

[Randomocity132]

So that applies to your group's campaigns, not "most of D&D" as you had stated in a previous post.

No, that's merely me speaking about my particular experience. That doesn't invalidate or re-write my earlier point, which is separate, and in agreement with my second statement.

Honestly, when you have "encounter calculators" for what you'll fight and how much XP you should be awarded for killing it, and this is supposed to happen like 6 times a day, it's pretty safe to say that most of D&D revolves around killing most everything you come across, specifically monsters and things that ping as evil.

[mucat]

Honestly, when you have "encounter calculators" for what you'll fight and how much XP you should be awarded for killing it, and this is supposed to happen like 6 times a day, it's pretty safe to say that most of D&D revolves around killing most everything you come across, specifically monsters and things that ping as evil.

Yeah, the rule set does lend itself to that kind of campaign.

But remember that you get the same XP if you DON'T kill, or even fight, the things you meet. As long as the encounter presented you some kind of risk or challenge, and you dealt with that challenge in some ways, you get the XP.) I've been in campaigns where the PCs leveled just fine, under standard D&D rules, with a near-zero body count, especially against sapients. And we earned those levels.

I've also been in campaigns, where as you said before, a camp full of bugbears, simply by its existence, would be an automatic target. But there was always a reason for it -- either we were already at war with them, or the PCs were being played as way too hardened to have any pretense of being "good guys".

[Pumpkin Tiger]

I've also been in campaigns, where as you said before, a camp full of bugbears, simply by its existence, would be an automatic target. But there was always a reason for it -- either we were already at war with them, or the PCs were being played as way too hardened to have any pretense of being "good guys".
Would a kingdom ruled by Pumpkin Catfolk be seen as a threat.

[mucat]

Would a kingdom ruled by Pumpkin Catfolk be seen as a threat.
...

My alchemist might finally admit that the people who tell him he's been hitting the cognatogen too hard, may have a point...

[Pumpkin Tiger]

...

My alchemist might finally admit that the people who tell him he's been hitting the cognatogen too hard, may have a point...

Well then alot of people must freak out when they see my character.

[Pumpkin Tiger]

My character walked into a tavern once and a man started throwing up.

[Totema]

I played in a game a year ago where we had a dragonborn (can't remember the base race, think it was dwarf) bard/warblade who had an animate pipe organ as a companion. The organ could levitate, was waterproof, and could even spray fluids stored inside of its pipes.