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Vknight
2014-01-13, 11:12 PM
Alright the fact is I'm burning out. Sure I may spark for moments or two but it quickly snuffs away and back too smolders.

A year ago a player left. This player had been a friend for years, who meant a lot too me in numerous ways.
When that player left I lost a bit of the flair I had. That ability too always take what was thrown build the adventure and make a story.

I realized that whenever I could come up with an excuse for a one-shot or something else because a player missed a session I would take it. Making it our new main campaign as my half hearted attempt to get motivated.

My Mental State
Player leaves. I get sad. I try too work around and plan around and make up for what has happened. But I keep coming back too what would they play etc.
No matter what I do I can't quite get myself on two-feet and landed.
Vknight is Bipolar.
I get nihilistic when on the down side of it along with the other fun things.
Why is this important?

Because the person who used to help ground me is no longer speaking with me. They walked away no goodbyes no anything. A permanency without a finality

So I have been trying too find a centering device. My personal method of keeping a cool head a calm demeanor and clear mind. Too help myself calm down or other things as the case may be.
I have not found it.

As such I have been full of ideas one minute, tossing them out the next.
Should it be this or that or what about this?
Building up then crashing. Would they enjoy this more or would this seem more horrific.
During the games I spike and spiral nearly at random. Full too bursting trying too get the group motivated and the next barely their and unable too pull myself along with no energy too speak of.

Could I let someone else run?
Yes & No: I could but can't so read the Group section to understand why not for each.

The Last Few Sessions
This probably won't help much. But the issue comes up more in the planning stages and between sessions. As I create so many ideas but too many to use or unable too for the medium in use with the current game; with little to no way of changing what I want the idea to be; without destroying the idea as had.
Little Fears - I had 12 or so monsters stated for Little Fears and a scenario for each

Eclipse Phase - The initial mystery involving a Seed AI and some other things leading into the true mystery as the group learned of the secrets of the Quarantine Zone

Shadowrun - Some jobs missions classic ronin traveling around. Was set in the Gulf of Mexico for a large amount of options for run setups

Wild Talents - Superhero game as the hero's learned too be heroes in a world that has only had superpowers for 1 year. Crazy things happening and the world a changing place

Shadowrun - Read above but with more a focus on the group being Robin Hoods trying too cut out some semblance of life for themselves and help any others they can along the way


We did a Little Fears thing for 3 sessions. But some people could not make it and as the session involved one's life we stepped back for a minute
I had ideas too many ideas, so many ideas far too many ideas I could focus upon just a singular idea for the themes

For 1 session Eclipse Phase but it didn't so much as dry up as 2 of the 3 players couldn't make the next session.
Clever idea. Maybe would have lasted 1 game longer

I entertained a Shadowrun idea for 1 session but that couldn't work out, because of the D&D obsessed fan boy who effectively made me rage quit the session
Game went ok at start then quickly crumbled

The annual Halloween Game came around it was Dread(It was ok)
Clever idea. Hebanon Games Revelations Scenario but limited in scope from a town too just the acres of land on a mansion.

Did Wild Talents for 4 sessions. I want too get back to it but I can't build the energy to be invested in super heroics
You need energy and a drive too want and do super heroic interactions. Hero vs. X

Last Saturday(The 10th) was Shadowrun trying too rehash and fix what happened from the last time... It worked out alright.
The group breezed through and I don't know if they went well. I went easy on them. Both happening or some other reason for this

My Group
I got a good group of people. I try and describe their play style in so much detail. This coincides with personality of the individual on several of them.

B
-A nice player and person who plays the team mom of characters
-Can't come too session until May
-Has never nor ever wants too Gm

D
-A gamer who loves any sort of game and game experience. From guns and psychic powers too swords and sorcery. He likes to play with the group and takes a roll of the realman
-To nice, and to much of a good guy to Gm would not kill you even in Call of Cthulhu(Not a joke in a session of CoC he ran at a thing I was not at everyone survived because he was so nice)


E
-Spunky individual this person is quick witted with a slight foul mouth. But a good person even if not always polite.
-Can't come too sessions until May
-Never wants too Gm or control NPC's

G
-Charged full of energy and bad ideas for the right intentions. Not trying too cause chaos or destruction(most of the time), trying too play a crazy character who does not wall into annoying
-
-Only has run D&D. Admits too being a bad Gm when judging encounters either making them pathetically easily or extremely difficult

J
-Good guy fun gamer taking the role of the character. But a tendency if character not maximized for combat too just run away and not assist
-Clings too fantasy games over science fiction
-Runs DMPC's when he is the Gm... And won't listen too reason on it(He's stated out as an NPC so he does not count as a DMPC is not an excuse) Only has run D&D and will only run Fantasy. So no Sci-Fi

K
-Quite character who enjoys role-playing but likes too take a less active roll. Being the person who sometimes helps with NPC's, but more role-playing with the group. Soft-spoken with an eye more towards speaking when wishing too and it could be considered important
-Not a GM or a leader

W
-Ok guy. Plays overly flamboyant, 'badass' of a character, most sounding like the love child of Leon and Cloud with a dash whatever he is currently playing. No real consistent tone or knowing when not too get involved in a scene even though his character is in it. Generally big problem guy though he means well
-Would only run D&D. Would include DMPC's, all the Minotaur Paladin DMPC's. Would get upset should we disrupt his story or the planned schedule of events or did anything that goes against the script of praising said DMPC's

Most of them do not wish too Gm
Some who could would run with some problems
The two least likely too cause issue one game would be here is that vorpal sword you wanted(at level 4)
The other it actually would be a vorpal sword... I can't stand playing in D&D/d20 campaigns.

So without a way too focus I'm spinning
I can't toss reins too another person. I know what I want too do but I at the same time don't have any ideas. I want too run a campaign with a story adventure and all that good stuff.
May it be a slice of life as teenagers cope well also handling world ending cosmic horrors.
A group banding as brothers too do some good in whatever concept that may be(Heroic Demingods. Men of the Last Great War. A simple band of warriors be it modern, ancient, fantastical, or what have you)
A team who have seen the shadows or horror that lurks beyond. And come too accept that does not make one immune or safe from nightmares; should those nightmares tear at the mind, or show a darker nature of humanity, or the last great creation before our Fall it all speaks too me as fodder for ideas



Sorry this took so long too read.
And for those of you who read this thank you. And those of you who responded another thank you.
Simply talking about the issue has helped in many ways as it has been my personal Elephant in the Room for the last year which I have been avoiding and denying as hard as I can

Airk
2014-01-13, 11:44 PM
A couple of suggestions. First, I Am Not A Psychiatrist. Okay, disclaimer out of the way.

I have read about another GM with bipolar-type issues who has much improved his lot by a controversial treatment known as "eating healthy and getting regular exercise". This is unlikely to do you any harm even in the worst case scenario, and it is a pretty well known phenomenon that exercising helps us think and focus better afterwards, and that good nutrition is crucial for a healthy brain and emotional state. What's the worst that can happen? You end up still sad but physically fit? :)

Since you have a bunch of people who don't want to GM, why not try a GMless game? It might not be the thing for "all the time" but it sounds like you've got a pretty adventurous crew if you're playing Little Fears and Eclipse Phase so you can probably find something, and probably for free. There's a big ole list of 'em here (http://doubleninja.wordpress.com/2011/09/10/the-ultimate-big-list-of-gm-less-rpg-games-as-table/). I don't have any experience in the space, having only discovered it recently, but everyone seems to like Fiasco, and I recently read and liked the sound of Archipelago II. (Though I haven't played it yet.). By all reports, Microscope is an awesome product too. Who knows, maybe having everyone bringing ideas to the table will work some magic.

Kaun
2014-01-14, 12:09 AM
I'm in a burn out at the moment. While i hate not running games i am forcing myself to take a full year away from behind the shield.

Sometimes its just the best option.

While i am not running games i am playing in games and working on some home brew stuff.

I want to be champing at the bit next time i run a game, rather than the half arsed attempts my last couple games have been.

Don't know if it would work for you Vk but its what i am planing to do.

And +1 to getting fit. It's amazing how much it changes your attitude and outlook in all aspects of life.

Winter_Wolf
2014-01-14, 12:39 AM
My experiences with burn out have led to one conclusion: better to take a break than to utterly crush any last vestiges of joy in something by forcing yourself to do it. In the name of "fun", no less!

Play something else for a while. Do something else for a while that doesn't involve gaming. Shoot, even just saying, "look we have to take a break before rocks fall and everybody dies" and stating that the break is not punishment for anything, but it is a necessity and it is happening.

Everyone does things they end up hating eventually, because they kept on going when they were burning out. Usually those things are called "jobs" and you get paid money by way of compensation. When it's something that's meant to be an enjoyable hobby/pastime but becomes a chore, there's absolutely no good reason to keep grinding away at it. Usually you'll come back to it after some length of time apart from it. Sometimes you don't, but then again if you don't come back it's probably because you don't miss it.

DMVerdandi
2014-01-14, 05:06 AM
I suggest you do some physical activities with a local recreational team. Go join a club and get out there. I understand the person you relied on left, but that is one of the biggest eye openers... You can't rely on someone forever.

There are just some things you have to do alone (or if you are a religious person, your never really alone.)
It's time for some positive introspection, my friend. Maybe a yoga class? It will help you center yourself.

And during this break, you can still write. Writing is always good. Perhaps right up a whole campaign, or maybe even a fiction. Create a world, create all the characters you can, and have them interact. Perhaps you can share your stuff with your buds and it will inspire them to be creative too.

Most of all, optimistic. If you are here, then you are an optimizer. Do that with your real life, bro. Make yourself proud:smallbiggrin:

Vknight
2014-01-14, 07:42 AM
I suggest you do some physical activities with a local recreational team. Go join a club and get out there. I understand the person you relied on left, but that is one of the biggest eye openers... You can't rely on someone forever.

There are just some things you have to do alone (or if you are a religious person, your never really alone.)
It's time for some positive introspection, my friend. Maybe a yoga class? It will help you center yourself.

And during this break, you can still write. Writing is always good. Perhaps right up a whole campaign, or maybe even a fiction. Create a world, create all the characters you can, and have them interact. Perhaps you can share your stuff with your buds and it will inspire them to be creative too.

Most of all, optimistic. If you are here, then you are an optimizer. Do that with your real life, bro. Make yourself proud:smallbiggrin:

Yeah. Consciously I've accepted that on a subconscious level I am aware I have not.

Thankyou for the suggestion on writing, during the break I may have just stepped away from that.

As for the exercise I have already been doing it and it has helped. I'm more a go walking/trail blazing/hiking person. Something quiet and alone as when doing physical activity I don't like to be around people
Can't for the next few days. Migraine and if I move faster then a slow crawl I feel I will throw up.

Hmmm the idea of a Gmless game could work, less pressure towards certain things along with other advantages.

Hmmm homebrew stuff. If I could somehow get the guy whose too easy on players too handle things better and/or toss him something more slice of life(Checks date Golden Sky Stories will get here...)
Or maybe hmmm were did I put those rules for that action economy game which has combat similar to V.A.T.S(as best I describe)

I have done movie nights before, as the resident movie buff more ideas.

Thankyou for everyone's suggestions, and help
Getting thing out their and getting a response really helped and gave me some focus. What people think will help and has helped them, along with other ideas

ElenionAncalima
2014-01-14, 09:15 AM
I'd say give yourself a break and let one of the others run a short game, even if they aren't the best at it. I'd stay away from the DMPC guys, but it might be worth it to give the nice guy or the guy with balancing issues a chance. Perhaps with some mentoring, they would be able to work out those issues.

It may not be the exact gaming experience that you want, but it will give you a chance to recharge. Plus, nothing will motivate you to want to DM again faster than watching someone else doing it badly.

Airk
2014-01-14, 11:52 AM
Hmmm homebrew stuff. If I could somehow get the guy whose too easy on players too handle things better and/or toss him something more slice of life(Checks date Golden Sky Stories will get here...)

GSS does seem like a perfect fit for a 'nice guy' GM. And I believe it's shipping now-ish to Kickstarter backers.

Let me know how it goes if you end up playing!

Jay R
2014-01-14, 12:10 PM
Stop running a game for awhile. If you are too focused on what the player who left would do, write a story about that character.

In a story, the only person you have to please is yourself.

And don't worry about the lack of a DM. There are lots of things to do in this world besides RPGs.

Kaun
2014-01-14, 05:27 PM
Its also worth noting VK, that the guys who could run games but might run into problems are only going to get past these issues via hard won experience.

Also i have learned a lot of people don't want to run games due to fear.

They worry nobody will have fun, they worry that they will make mistakes. They may just be terrified of taking control.

Sometimes giving these kind of people a little push to get them started can end up in some really fun games.

You can learn a lot for GMing your own games by helping/mentoring someone who wants to GM but has little experience.

inexorabletruth
2014-01-14, 05:56 PM
Well, I'm not bipolar and I know that can affect emotional perspective greatly, but I will say this (spoilered for length):

The story always outlasts the players.
I'm kind of the designated DM in any group I'm in. Everyone else always wants to be a player, so I get stuck with my role (I love DM'ing, but every once in a while it would be nice to take arms and fight the good fight, but that's another topic for another time).

The real point is, not matter how good the game, the players will leave. Sometimes, they'll blow your mind and come back, but that's not the pony to bet on. And when people leave the game, especially if they leave your life as a result of it, it's always soul-crushing, because a good DM pours so much of themselves into the campaign that it feels like the player rejected them. But there are some remedies to counteract this feeling of rejection:

It helps to try to have a healthy (even if it isn't accurate) perspective.
Work comes up, girlfriends/boyfriends/wives/husbands/babies come up, new interests develop, old interests fade. There's a million reasons why someone would leave a game. Try not to believe the reason that would hurt your feelings the most. Try to single out the one that makes you say "sounds fair" and move on. This may sound like denial, but I prefer to think of it as giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Plus, you'll be able to live the loss.

Don't let the group suffer.
The other players are counting on you. Keep your chin up and get to work. If the player who left created a huge gap in the party go find a replacement player asap. In PbP, this is way easier to do. But if you play in someone's home, post ads on gaming sites and meet someone new. A fresh face around the table has a great chance of adding an exiting new dynamic to the game play.

Don't let the campaign die.
If you're really burnt out, take a short break and play something that doesn't require a GM. Or invite everyone over for a movie night or something, so you can watch something that gets your creative juices flowing. However, if you're just in a lull, try rolling the dice and using a top 100 list of session ideas. Every d20 game has something like that, and even if it doesn't, you can find one online. These can be off-timeline adventures that either took place before the PCs started on their current journey, or indirect side-quest dungeon crawls they happened to stumble upon on their way to their next story-line adventure.

Idk if this helps or not. Even if it doesn't, please know that I feel ya. I've got a list of players from my life that are gone but not forgotten too.

Thrawn4
2014-01-14, 06:31 PM
I used to have a similar situation with the other players DMing.
When we started, I became the DM because nobody else wanted to. Once in a while they would give it a shot, but these sessions were not as enjoyable as mine (not my words). You know, basic mistakes like a story that didn't make sense (we used to save the world quite often without getting famous), cardboard characters ("Hello random adventurer, here is a dungeon map") or no description besides "you are in a tavern/room/wood".
Then one day, one of them said he really wanted try it again, and within no time he became a seasoned DM, because he put a lot of effort into it and listened to our feedback. Sometimes I am kind of envious because he could rely on much more advise than me back then, but mostly I enjoy being a player in a good aventure. It's awesome :smallcool:
Remember, the entire group is responsible for the group's fun.

tl/dr: Give your aspiring DMs a chance and respectful feedback.

Vknight
2014-01-18, 11:48 PM
Its also worth noting VK, that the guys who could run games but might run into problems are only going to get past these issues via hard won experience.

Also i have learned a lot of people don't want to run games due to fear.

They worry nobody will have fun, they worry that they will make mistakes. They may just be terrified of taking control.

Sometimes giving these kind of people a little push to get them started can end up in some really fun games.

You can learn a lot for GMing your own games by helping/mentoring someone who wants to GM but has little experience.

The 3 most likely too fill in hmmm, this is true with experience and all that.

As for suggestions of general social activity, put me in a group of people I'll be the guy who has somehow acquired a book and is calmly reading. Not saying I couldn't use more or more activity... which gets into a whole different bag about a year and a half wasted at a college, among other things.

I actually encouraged each of them too run things. And I subtlety got each of them too tell me what they would run... This gave a mixed bag


For W, here is the hallway it leads too you to the destination. Welcome too the railroad, its not a on a train its a open field which has two directions back and forward. I wish I could be joking but he described the setup the party gets ambushed, yes in the open field no its not tall grass by a T-Rex and are saved by a Minotaur Paladin. So a large Cow Man in Full Armor, vs Tyrannosaurus Rex and they both were able too sneak up on the group
Thats the scenario of session 1. I asked can the group spot either of them? He said no, I asked Minotaur using invisibility? He calls it distasteful and says the Minotaur is just that smart

The other two best options we have something useable if not outright buoyant.
Finally 4th best G doesn't have any story ideas and so ends that quick cul-de-sac

But beside that we got something too work with now ideas and cogs with wheels begin to turn

As a general things thanks for the continued support and help, from ideas too just everything.

OACSNY97
2014-01-19, 08:54 AM
First, I hope you are able to feel better soon. Maybe the coming of better weather and spending some time out in the sun will do something (assuming northern hemisphere) besides the other good suggestions previously mentioned.

I haven't played it yet, but one of my gaming friends (the one who is the default GM for my group) bought Monsters and Other Childish Things a while ago and has talked it up. My impression from flipping through the book suggests that it's a light game that's a cross between Calvin and Hobbs and Matilda. Since your group seems to have been playing rather dark games, maybe a lighter game would be a good change of pace AND could allow the 'nice guy GM' (was it D?) to have another go at GMing at a game where death is NOT expected.

Of course the other option, the one my gaming group resorts to when we're just not feeling it, is Apples to Apples.

Also, Skype is your friend. Perhaps your players who can't come to sessions until May (would I be correct in assuming that they're away at school) could play over Skype. Skype has proved an excellent outlet for pretty free form group storytelling too, which might be enough to scratch the gaming bug with a lot less of the work because it's almost all dialog and actions between PC's.




The 3 most likely too fill in hmmm, this is true with experience and all that.

As for suggestions of general social activity, put me in a group of people I'll be the guy who has somehow acquired a book and is calmly reading. Not saying I couldn't use more or more activity... which gets into a whole different bag about a year and a half wasted at a college, among other things.

I actually encouraged each of them too run things. And I subtlety got each of them too tell me what they would run... This gave a mixed bag


For W, here is the hallway it leads too you to the destination. Welcome too the railroad, its not a on a train its a open field which has two directions back and forward. I wish I could be joking but he described the setup the party gets ambushed, yes in the open field no its not tall grass by a T-Rex and are saved by a Minotaur Paladin. So a large Cow Man in Full Armor, vs Tyrannosaurus Rex and they both were able too sneak up on the group
Thats the scenario of session 1. I asked can the group spot either of them? He said no, I asked Minotaur using invisibility? He calls it distasteful and says the Minotaur is just that smart

The other two best options we have something useable if not outright buoyant.
Finally 4th best G doesn't have any story ideas and so ends that quick cul-de-sac

But beside that we got something too work with now ideas and cogs with wheels begin to turn

As a general things thanks for the continued support and help, from ideas too just everything.

Vknight
2014-01-19, 01:34 PM
D that is correct.

Monsters is a fun game but I've run it for them before... the orphanage fire, and the corpses everywhere it was horrifying

I actually have a Skype group and we've been taking a break because it was Christams season recently

Kaun
2014-01-19, 08:12 PM
For W, here is the hallway it leads too you to the destination. Welcome too the railroad, its not a on a train its a open field which has two directions back and forward. I wish I could be joking but he described the setup the party gets ambushed, yes in the open field no its not tall grass by a T-Rex and are saved by a Minotaur Paladin. So a large Cow Man in Full Armor, vs Tyrannosaurus Rex and they both were able too sneak up on the group
Thats the scenario of session 1. I asked can the group spot either of them? He said no, I asked Minotaur using invisibility? He calls it distasteful and says the Minotaur is just that smart

ugghhh.

er

....ahhh....some times..... some times first time GM's have to get the super railroad sessions out of their system before they realize why they don't work so well.
Some people can learn from others mistakes and some people have to make the mistakes themselves.

I have a friend who ran his first session 10 years ago and on paper it probably looked as "interesting" as this. He is a decent DM now, im playing in one of his games at the moment and having a lot of fun.

Personally i would pick the member of your group who is the most enthusiastic about running a game and give them a crack. Enthusiasm can count for a lot. Doesn't guarantee they will be good to begin with or ever... but its a good place to start from.


Also as a side note re the sneaky T-Rex.

Anybody who played vanilla WoW can tell you, that game had a monster which was basically a T-Rex called a Devilsaur. It was huge and made a fair bit of noise, but the amount of times they snuck up on me in un'Goro crater was baffling.

Vknight
2014-01-19, 11:30 PM
ugghhh.

er

....ahhh....some times..... some times first time GM's have to get the super railroad sessions out of their system before they realize why they don't work so well.
Some people can learn from others mistakes and some people have to make the mistakes themselves.

I have a friend who ran his first session 10 years ago and on paper it probably looked as "interesting" as this. He is a decent DM now, im playing in one of his games at the moment and having a lot of fun.

Personally i would pick the member of your group who is the most enthusiastic about running a game and give them a crack. Enthusiasm can count for a lot. Doesn't guarantee they will be good to begin with or ever... but its a good place to start from.


Also as a side note re the sneaky T-Rex.

Anybody who played vanilla WoW can tell you, that game had a monster which was basically a T-Rex called a Devilsaur. It was huge and made a fair bit of noise, but the amount of times they snuck up on me in un'Goro crater was baffling.

This would not be his first session. He's tried too run them a few times, I've lost count, so its not run its course in him...
He had his own group when he was out at college. Had because they didn't like the railroading. Or as he put it they were ungrateful towards the story he was trying too tell

The person with the enthusiasm would be D or J when it comes too running.
He will do a good job of fun, maybe not challenging or other things but definitely fun.

Sneaky T-Rex the scourge of all adventuring parties. It is still a problem if the group won't get a check too notice it, which I pointed out as not fair. He countered with its his game they fail checks because he says so fair or not

Airk
2014-01-20, 01:36 PM
He countered with its his game they fail checks because he says so fair or not

Yeaaaah, that's...exactly how it's not supposed to work.

Were you still in that conversation, the correct followup question would be along the lines of "If I did that to you when you were a player, how would you feel?"

Kaun
2014-01-20, 04:51 PM
This would not be his first session. He's tried too run them a few times, I've lost count, so its not run its course in him...
He had his own group when he was out at college. Had because they didn't like the railroading. Or as he put it they were ungrateful towards the story he was trying too tell

The person with the enthusiasm would be D or J when it comes too running.
He will do a good job of fun, maybe not challenging or other things but definitely fun.

Yeah cross W of the list and see how you go with D or J.


Or as he put it they were ungrateful towards the story he was trying too tell

I couldn't help but cringe at that. Some people just aren't meant to GM i guess.

Vknight
2014-01-21, 03:54 AM
Yeah cross W of the list and see how you go with D or J.

I couldn't help but cringe at that. Some people just aren't meant to GM i guess.

Yeah that will be interesting, both good people and could always handle a break

Yeah he does not seem to get that. I'm worried he will end up like Trekkin's Gm if one doesn't apply pressures towards certain leanings. Don't be a jerk, your not a good Gm or at least listen too the players or something. Because we don't need two of them running around

Kaun
2014-01-21, 05:51 AM
I'm worried he will end up like Trekkin's Gm if one doesn't apply pressures towards certain leanings.

From what i have read Trekkin's GM's favored DMPC wouldn't allow that to happen.

There can only be one.

Vknight
2014-01-21, 12:52 PM
Why I'm worried he could become him. He hasn't sunk that low yet but there is always the chance he could creep closer too that darkness.

In other news. Good news I now no longer feel as horrible. Strange News is why this is and how but it gets kind of personal so I'm leaving it out, suffice too say it comes with good and bad

Magesmiley
2014-01-21, 04:08 PM
Burnout happens to nearly every GM at some point. Talk to your players. Most are pretty understanding.

My group switched over to playing board games. It helped a lot for me.