Terrible Campaign Thread/Ideas.

[Snowbluff]

I am making a terrible campaign. One of my players wanted a lousy campaign to play in, like this. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mGI_jgym1w) I have a hard time doing terrible things, so I thought I would ask for tips and advice.

Basic stuff:

E6:
Everyone will start with enough XP to be level 6. XP will be for extra feats. Players will die, and I will not fudge to save them. When they die, they make another character with level 6 XP. Player power is intended to fluctuate and favor certain builds. I am thinking of giving 10 XP per point of damage dealt.

"Eberron":
I am supposed to butcher the campaign setting. Expect all of the worst things, from merely annoying like poorly RPed Warforged, to Kender. Just... Kender. If you have any ideas on things I should use from this, please tell me!

No ENH:
No items will give numeric bonuses. Players will receive bonuses to AC and Abilities equal to half their level (level six, barring wights).

Treasure will always be in gems and alloys that need to appraised and sold to the correct people for maximum tedium.

[Allanimal]

Enforce the encumbrance rules. That'll be a nightmare.
Make it worse by making the only treasure copper pieces.
And no bags of holding or similar items.

[Snowbluff]

That's awesome. I think I can figure the weight of the copper coins... how many should fit in a backpack?

[EugeneVoid]

Enforce Multiclassing Penalties.

[Snowbluff]

Enforce Multiclassing Penalties.

*shakes head* They aren't at a high enough level for it to be a problem. Only 1 person is doing a complex build, and he isn't doing anything that would invoke them.

[NightbringerGGZ]

If you're using 3.5 & PF, look for the spells that exist in both and cherry pick the weaker versions.

[D4rkh0rus]

Ban magic marts. Make enemies the only beings that use wands/scrolls

Have them use them against the party. If they loot them they loo 2 charge wands and stuff.

also, If you really want to make something that your gaming group will hate you for.. Make the BBEG a Vampire with the light sensivity and phantom sparks Flaws. Name him Edward too.

[EugeneVoid]

Make kender the dominating race.

Make it really awkward that kender culture is the dominant one. Have them stealing the pcs stuff constantly. Make it so they can never stay in an inn without all their stuff being stolen.

[Deophaun]

You need a DMPC. This DMPC is a gestalt level 10. He's also best friends with the heads of all the houses.

"Faerron:" Like "Eberron," but everyone is a level OMG Wizard, and the party's missions consist of dry cleaning runs.

Railroad: The party's only means of conveyance is the lightning rail. The DMPC has a private car.

[D4rkh0rus]

You need a DMPC. This DMPC is a gestalt level 10. He's also best friends with the heads of all the houses.

"Faerron:" Like "Eberron," but everyone is a level OMG Wizard, and the party's missions consist of dry cleaning runs.

Railroad: The party's only means of conveyance is the lightning rail. The DMPC has a private car.

Don't Forget to add a Drow Ranger called Blitzz von Warden, who acts as the employer of the party.


Also. Have every house in every city, even the poor ones, have its own antimagic field.

[PrinceOfMadness]

Enforce keeping track of ammunition.

Ban spell component pouches and make your casters search out foci and material components for all their spells.

Invade Eberron with hilariously out-of-place villains. Examples include:

Magical Girls
Space Marines
Ponies

[D4rkh0rus]

Enforce keeping track of ammunition.

Ban spell component pouches and make your casters search out foci and material components for all their spells.

Invade Eberron with hilariously out-of-place villains. Examples include:

Magical Girls
Space Marines
Ponies



Space Marines
Seconded, thirded, fourthed and fifthed. Dont forget to put a Red armoured Bald Man called Edrick Boral Who spews nonsense as their leader.

[Snowbluff]

Ponies, Magical Girls, and Space Marines are soooo in. I love ponies. :smalltongue:

Magic marting will be screwed after character creation. The best way to get items is dying.

Faerron and Drizz't will be a terrible terrible thing.

Railroading with a railroad... I think Tippyverse teleportation circles were requested. I think I'll add an awful fee. The DMPC is something I forgot to add. How could I forget that? He'll have a private network of circles.

[Tvtyrant]

Incredibly cheap airships that anyone can buy, and the air is litterally lousey with sky pirates.

[D4rkh0rus]

Oh and have every city enforce a law that no one but royalty can carry weapons on them. If they do, they will be sent to prison/killed on sight.

theyll be forced to hide them.
Have groups of guards scattered around perform regular inspections too.

and don't forget to include a cult to banjhulu. never forget the blood crazy banjhulu cult.

also, I think there was a build for a robotic druid (warforged something something that shifted to animals but kept its warforged armor plating.)

Make a giant robot dinosaur. Godzirra.


dont forget a party composed of evil twins and counterparts. Thats as bad as it gets. Have them all have access to magic items and stuff too.

[Elricaltovilla]

(Semi) randomly enforce alignment checks for killing good aligned monsters. Make sure that every horde of goblins or other mooks has one or two good aligned mooks who are just there for a paycheck or to watch after their younger sibling. Force players to sit through you roleplaying the death of these tragic characters.

Naturally, the DMPC never has to make these alignment checks.

[Deophaun]

Ponies, Magical Girls, and Space Marines are soooo in. I love ponies. :smalltongue:
Why not just kill three birds with one stone and make them Magical Space Marine Ponies?

[Snowbluff]

Why not just kill three birds with one stone and make them Magical Space Marine Ponies?
Ponies are already magical. We can't have magical girls wearing power armor. Without the frilly outfits they aren't magical girls... or maybe they can wear both... :smalltongue:

[Totema]

Every character has Chicken-Infested.

[Deophaun]

Ponies are already magical. We can't have magical girls wearing power armor. Without the frilly outfits they aren't magical girls... or maybe they can wear both... :smalltongue:
They come in as normal ponies, then, just before they go into battle, they start spinning, flower petals and strobe lights appear from nowhere, and in a flash of light where onlookers think they can somehow see breasts on these creatures, they emerge in Space Marine armor.

[Oko and Qailee]

This thread is going places.


100% make sure there is an overleveled DMPC, make sure he/she behaves nearly perfect and talks over the party. Make sure the DMPC nobley sacrifices his/her self to destroy the BBEG after the BBEG insta-save-or-fails the entire party.

[Dr. Azkur]

The guys over here have given you everything you need for a horrible campaign... Except for what I'm here to deliver: The Plot!

If you play this you will be my hero, and please make record of everything.

Here it goes! http://darthsanddroids.net/comics/darths0410.jpg

Alternatively, put this into a medieval setting and you're good to go: http://www.darthsanddroids.net/comics/darths0917.jpg

[Snowbluff]

Every character has Chicken-Infested.
Yes.

They come in as normal ponies, then, just before they go into battle, they start spinning, flower petals and strobe lights appear from nowhere, and in a flash of light where onlookers think they can somehow see breasts on these creatures, they emerge in Space Marine armor. Yes!

Somehow I'll fit in inappropriate shots, even though the ponies are wearing 8 inches of impervium plate.

This thread is going places.


100% make sure there is an overleveled DMPC, make sure he/she behaves nearly perfect and talks over the party. Make sure the DMPC nobley sacrifices his/her self to destroy the BBEG after the BBEG insta-save-or-fails the entire party.
YES!

I am thinking the DMPC will be A Mystic Ranger with Sword of the Arcane order, and a dozen extra feats or so.

The guys over here have given you everything you need for a horrible campaign... Except for what I'm here to deliver: The Plot!

If you play this you will be my hero, and please make record of everything.

Here it goes! http://darthsanddroids.net/comics/darths0410.jpg

Alternatively, put this into a medieval setting and you're good to go: http://www.darthsanddroids.net/comics/darths0917.jpg
I will be keeping a record. The group meets like twice a month.

Ooh, Darth and Droids. Nice.

[Scootaloo]

- Underwater campaign, with none of the players as aquatic races.

- make sure to have a level 7 NPC upstage them more than a few times. For best results, make it a thinly-veiled self-insert.

- Everyone's going on about kender. pffft, please, kender are just halflings with fangirls. No, the true horror, the true awful, terrible, hair-pulling annoyance? In your campaign world, Rust monsters reproduce by wind pollination. Rust monster pollen has the same properties one would expect from a rust monster.

- have the dominant race be elves. Portray them as every elf ever portrayed anywhere. Use the complete book of elves, if you have it.

- Use random encounter tables, and use them frequently. The more senseless the better. feeling up a wench at the tavern? DM rolls dice, and the local barbarian tribe's herd of dire camels uddenly crashes through the door on a rampage.

- Enforce wealth by level down to the very last copper piece. Every gold in excess of their assumed WBL, cut off an experience point. Keep a visible chart. Then have them fight things with high treasure ratings. Be sure to penalize monks and paladins double.

- Never do voices. no acting. no gesturing. Don't describe ANYTHING. every dwarf is "a dwarf." every room is 10 by 10 and feaureless. All NPC's sound and talk exactly like you do.

- Time travel them. Bonus points if you tack this onto the aquatic campaign.

- Force the cleric and Wizard to roleplay preparing their spells. No begging the gods, well, no spell for you!

- incorporeal undead.

- In the middle of the game, introduce some alternative rules from unearthed Arcana. Retroactively.

- No introduction. Drop them facefirst into your module, then look at them, silent and expecting.

[Oko and Qailee]

I will be keeping a record. The group meets like twice a month.


I would ready this as religiously as religiously as I recheck the same 15 webcomics every two minutes for updates.

[Oko and Qailee]

-campaign run by Satan himself-


Dude,omg im dying from this,

[Dr. Azkur]

Do not forget to let us read it, Master Warlock!


I would ready this as religiously as religiously as I recheck the same 15 webcomics every two minutes for updates.

I know how that feels.


No, the true horror, the true awful, terrible, hair-pulling annoyance? In your campaign world, Rust monsters reproduce by wind pollination. Rust monster pollen has the same properties one would expect from a rust monster.
That's... actually how oxygen works.


In the middle of the game, introduce some alternative rules from unearthed Arcana. Retroactively.
This is my personal favorite.

[Deophaun]

Be sure to penalize monks and paladins double.
Even more so, remember that melee shall not have nice things.

[D4rkh0rus]

Also, There is one thing you can never forget to add

Acid Breathing Sharks.


Oh and Tyranosaurus rex druids wielding dual rail cannons Multilasers riding giant Acid breathing sharks with Plasma Cannons Multilasers
On top of Boats with copious amounts of Multilasers Multilasers

[TuggyNE]

So much evil. So much! :eek:

Maybe you can gain some further inspiration from perverting* the Gentlemen's Agreement.

*Not like that. :smallannoyed:

[TheMonocleRogue]

Make a swarm encounter where every creature can give them negative levels in several ways. Those are the worst.

Like fighting a hoard of vampire spawn, ghouls, and devourers.

[Mithril Leaf]

Incredibly cheap airships that anyone can buy, and the air is litterally lousey with sky pirates.

This sounds pretty cool actually. Terrible campaign ideas only.

On that note, all magic armor is made by elves, with only the DMPC getting any.

[TuggyNE]

Make a swarm encounter where every creature can give them negative levels in several ways. Those are the worst.

Like fighting a hoard of vampire spawn, ghouls, and devourers.

You mean wights? Ghouls just slap paralysis and disease on. (Which are of course not pleasant either, but not as bad as energy drainage.)

[Bullet06320]

due to an ancient curse, bards can only play in duets and know only dueling banjo's

if any of the pc's are playing bards, they actually have to sing a song to get the benefits of bardic music, nd only for as long as they continue to sing

smurfs
little small blue fey that only 1 of the pcs can see

[TheMonocleRogue]

You mean wights? Ghouls just slap paralysis and disease on. (Which are of course not pleasant either, but not as bad as energy drainage.)

That's exactly my point though. The ghouls would paralyze you and in roll the negative levels. Losing your AC sucks when everything attacking you can slap on a negative level for good measure.

[Averis Vol]

Roll for random encounters every night of travel or when they are out of town. I'm talking pokemon you-walked-into-a-cave-and-zubats-everywhere! kind of rolling.

[Dr. Azkur]

Roll for random encounters every night of travel or when they are out of town. I'm talking pokemon you-walked-into-a-cave-and-zubats-everywhere! kind of rolling.

This just gave me a beautiful/hideous idea.

Start the game. Set a timer to 10 minutes. Reset it when the time is up. Keep doing this until the session ends.
No matter the place. No matter the situation. No matter what is happening in your game, each time the timer sounds you stop what you're doing, roll up an encounter and enforce it on the game.

They might be discussing with the king about their quest and a family of wild two-headed bears suddenly break through the kitchen door. (Though the kitchens only leads to the hall which is where they were... HUH!)

They might be fighting the kraken and BAM! Angry mob of peasants attacks!

They might be on a stealth mission to steal the key to a lich phylactery's cage and ZAPPAZEEWING! Feral Red Dragon bursts into the dungeon, forces a reflex save or suck for everyone but the rogue due to rubble, while also setting off the alarm.

[Rizban]

Don't forget to equip your monsters and villains with amazingly powerful gear, artifacts even, which inexplicably vanishes as soon as they die. Always roll for loot, but "accidentally" look at the wrong line, rolling for loot on a lower CR table.

[Enguebert]

Create a tiny invulnerable creature that follow ONE of your player
(Ideally : a tiny ghost, so if he is destroyed, he is back 24h later)

The tiny creature does only one thing : saying "You're stupid" or "Dumb ass" every time the player says something stupid/strange/ask for advises or have a bad luck.

Can become very irritating, especially when other players agrees with the creature :smallsmile:

[nedz]

Just make sure that the monsters are always Orcs. Always Orcs, nothing else. Give them class levels and an atrocious French accent.

[TuggyNE]

Create a tiny invulnerable creature that follow ONE of your player
(Ideally : a tiny ghost, so if he is destroyed, he is back 24h later)

The tiny creature does only one thing : saying "You're stupid" or "Dumb ass" every time the player says something stupid/strange/ask for advises or have a bad luck.

Can become very irritating, especially when other players agrees with the creature :smallsmile:

No, no, no. Have it give redundant and self-evident, if notionally well-meant, advice (and make sure it's the only NPC with a unique, ideally penetratingly shrill, voice), and have it continually attempt to ensure the PC is heeding its words.

[Totema]

No, no, no. Have it give redundant and self-evident, if notionally well-meant, advice (and make sure it's the only NPC with a unique, ideally penetratingly shrill, voice), and have it continually attempt to ensure the PC is and heeding its words.

On the plus side, it can help characters to strafe around their enemies and talk to people from afar.

[TiaC]

-Overleveled town guards that respond instantly and unfairly target the PCs

-Fumble rules. But not just any fumble rules, these would be the ones where a one on attacks breaks your weapon. A one on physical skill checks injures or cripples you.

-Elves are the worst sort of old-school elf. Practically perfect, obscenely arrogant, and NPC-only.

-Blatant fanwankery of all sorts of things. e.g. have your recurring NPCs include a thinly veiled Iron Man expy. Whenever he appears, go on a rant about how awesome and genius and independent he is.

-Only refer to the PCs by annoying nicknames, require large backstories which you will only use to find horrible things to happen to them.

-Add random nerfs, often midcombat. Do not allow any rebuilding.

-Have gods just randomly **** around with the players.(made better by the fact that it's an Eberron campaign)

-Base rulings on your own physical abilities and realism. (e.g. Deflect Arrows is banned for being unrealistic)

-Forget to bring NPC stats, run combats anyway. Just making up numbers round-to-round should work.

-Deck of Many Things. Cursed Items too I suppose.

-NPCs don't care about surviving, only about screwing with the PCs.

-Kill all familiars/Mounts/cohorts/compainions.

-Keep track of food/water/sleep. If they try to just eat trail rations make them save against sicken because of the taste. apply crippling penalties but don't tell them the rules you're using to decide when to apply them.

-Never use a ruling twice, make a different one every time.

-Ridiculously favor one player, but don't allow this to help the others.

[Sam K]

Make sure that whenever a PC comes up with a cool combination of feats, skills and items (especially one that would work well with their character concept without being over powered), nerf it in some way. Use completely arbitrary reasons based on your (intentionally flawed) understanding of history, physics or psychology, as well as pop culture that makes no sense for the setting, as basis for your nerfs.

"Rangers cant cast spells or have animal companions because Aragon didn't and he was still OP."

"I read once that european middle age swords were really just metal clubs, so every slashing weapon that isn't eastern takes a -2 penalty to hit and damage" (only the DMNPC, who is a samurai kung fu ninja wizard ninja, can have these weapons)

"In Harry Potter they could use stun unlimited times per day, so I'm letting wizards do that here too. Oh, and bards cant cast spells now, because rock stars IRL cant use magic!"

"I cant jump as far as is indicated that your str 18 character with maxed jump can jump, so I'm nerfing your jump range. It's clearly unrealistic!"

Dont forget to tell players how they should RP their chars. Always tell them what their characters feel and think about things. Especially about your DMNPC.

Let NPCs use diplomancy to force the PCs into situations the players really dont like. Punish them if they dont RP it "properly".

Have every NPC that's not generic ("A dwarf. He looks dwarfy.") be a exagerated stereotype. Everyone who has a backstory has a tragic one ("My parents were killed by orcs when the undead hordes of slaad raided my village and molasted my kitten. Then some big boy took my lunch money and called me ugly. A UNDEAD big boy!") and they are all half vampire, half elf half drow half half half dragons.

[D4rkh0rus]

Create a tiny invulnerable creature that follow ONE of your player
(Ideally : a tiny ghost, so if he is destroyed, he is back 24h later)

The tiny creature does only one thing : saying "You're stupid" or "Dumb ass" every time the player says something stupid/strange/ask for advises or have a bad luck.

Can become very irritating, especially when other players agrees with the creature :smallsmile:

Have it be a blue will o' wisp that constantly shouts "Hey!" and "Listen!"

Have whomever is stuck with it gain rage 1/day after spending 5 minutes with it. And also have him permanently lose intellect every week hes stuck with it.

[G.Cube]

Enforce keeping track of ammunition.

Ban spell component pouches and make your casters search out foci and material components for all their spells.

Invade Eberron with hilariously out-of-place villains. Examples include:

Magical Girls
Space Marines
Ponies


I just laughed so, so hard at this. Thank you for sincerely making my morning.

Make every adult female in your game a well endowed cat/bunny/mammal girl with an intellegence and wisdom score of four. Roleplay them accordingly.

[BeerMug Paladin]

Idea blatantly stolen from a dm more genuinely awful without even trying than I could ever be.

Insist that no character can have a higher intelligence score than their player counterpart has in real life (since they'll just roleplay it wrong). Naturally, in real life, you have 18 intelligence, and nobody can beat that, so 17 is the maximum intelligence score anyone is allowed. For extra awfulness, extend this reasoning to wisdom and charisma as well.

[Scootaloo]

No, no, no. Have it give redundant and self-evident, if notionally well-meant, advice (and make sure it's the only NPC with a unique, ideally penetratingly shrill, voice), and have it continually attempt to ensure the PC is heeding its words.

Nope.

Two words.

Beer Ghost. (http://satwcomic.com/the-scariest-ghost-ever)

[HaikenEdge]

Make all the overpowered CO builds (Pun-Pun, Omnicifier, Twice-Betrayer, etc) deities in the setting. Make sure they don't give a darn about anybody, ever, and are just in it for their own amusement.

[Zombimode]

E6

Whats wrong with that?


Everyone will start with enough XP to be level 6. XP will be for extra
feats.

Yeah, that's how E6 works.


Players will die, and I will not fudge to save them.

Your implying that this practice is somehow bad.


When they die, they make another character with level 6 XP.

So?


No ENH:
No items will give numeric bonuses. Players will receive bonuses to AC and Abilities equal to half their level (level six, barring wights).

Again, whats wrong with that? Plain numeric bonuses are quite boring, after all.


Your ideas on a "terrible" campaign seems to be diluted by elevating your personal playstyle preferences to a measure of whats constitutes a bad campaign.

[zephyrkinetic]

Keep track of rations and water.
Use diseases, drunkenness, etc.
Each player should show how they plan to carry all their equipment/treasure. Can't carry the loot? It stays. How are you carrying 3 swords and a bow? etc.

[Bonzai]

Also, don't forget to keep up with the characters food and spell components. IE.. force the wizards to harvest that bat guano they need for that fireball.

[D4rkh0rus]

also, remember that speaking while in combat is a FREE action not an IMMEDIATE one. meaning, players can only speak on their character's turn.

[Tiki Snakes]

Here's a favourite; All urban areas are lousy with thieves, pickpockets and beggars. All the time. Npc's should be picking Pc's pockets at least once a session.

If the players attempt to involve the guard/law enforcement (or are foolish enough to interact with them for any reason) have the guards shake them down for money as well.

[Snowbluff]

Guys, thanks for all of the great ideas. It really means a lot to me. :smallsmile:

And by that I mean all of these ideas make me want to throw up. :smallfurious:

WHICH IS PERFECT!

... baka!

also, remember that speaking while in combat is a FREE action not an IMMEDIATE one. meaning, players can only speak on their character's turn.

I'll do this.

@Zombimode: Those are just the assumptions about the setting and game. Not all of them are terrible, they are just things that were requested.

[HaikenEdge]

also, remember that speaking while in combat is a FREE action not an IMMEDIATE one. meaning, players can only speak on their character's turn.

I think this can be debated.


Free Action: Free actions consume a very small amount of time and effort. You can perform one or more free actions while taking another action normally. However, there are reasonable limits on what you can really do for free.

Swift Action: A swift action consumes a very small amount of time, but represents a larger expenditure of effort and energy than a free action. You can perform only a single swift action per turn.

Immediate Action: An immediate action is very similar to a swift action, but can be performed at any time — even if it's not your turn.
I think the implication here is that the Immediate Action rules only applies to the Swift Action rules, ie, you can take a Swift Action only on your turn, a Free Action isn't a Swift Action, so the Immediate Action rules don't apply to Free Action.

However, the Free Action rules clearly state you can perform them while doing taking another action, meaning, you could interpret it to say you cannot take a Free Action that is not part of another action.

[Ansem]

Your campaign setting's world has a permanent AMF of CL 100, ban on all item creation feats for players and anything existing already :P
Enforce multiclassing XP penalties also for 'multiclassing' into prestige classes.

Can't think of anything worse than that XD

[Rizban]

You could make everyone play a poorly written, unbalanced homebrew race/class.

[Platinum Piece]

Enforce the taint rules. Every time a PC does anything that could even be considered remotely evil, they become more tainted. For even more kicks, make several cities have a tainted districts, that is the only part of the city that people with taint can be. If they are caught anywhere else in the city, they are arrested, striped of all of their magical equipment, beaten, and deported back to the tainted district. The only entrances and exits to the cities are through non-tainted districts only. If the PCs try to recover their gear, make sure the guard uses it against them.

[Pinkie Pyro]

-All PCs that die immediately turn into an undead creature that retains the original's class levels and turns on the party.

-award the players no experience for anything other than role playing.

-ignore stat blocks, make everything up on the fly.

-the wilds are filled with monsters, roll an encounter for every 10 minutes worth of travel.

-enforce bureaucracy, and actually print out paperwork for your players to work on to replicate the experience their characters are facing

-force the PCs to roll for stats, and class at every level.

-ban anything not directly from PBH 1, DMG 1, or MM 1.

-bards must right their own music or face the demons of copyright law.

-barbarians immediately fall asleep after raging.

-clerics must RP praying to their gods, their caster level fluctuates with their god's favor, and they have to uphold a paladin's code of honor or take penalties to divine favor (and thus caster level).

-druids must respect all life, and lose all their powers if they kill anything.

-fighter feats are completely separate from regular feats, and neither can be used as prerequisites for the other.

-monks must take a vow (poverty, silence, pacifist, ect).

-paladins also must take a vow.

-rangers must be drow males and have panther companions, if the players roll this class, in the next encounter they must be poly morphed into a drow permanantly.

-rogues cannot wield anything other than daggers or wear anything more than studded leather armor.

-sorcerers have infinite spell slots, but their spells do 1 point of damage per spell level to themselves.

-wizards must buy and keep track of each individual spell component (don't allow them to buy anymore than, say, 10 castings of a spell at once) and all spell components are pricey, with the cost being 5*(spell level +1)GP, regardless of how easy it should logically be to get.

-no magic mart, roll magical items before encounter starts and have enemies use them.

-add sanity to every PC, and have random inconsequential things force a roll.
(as you read the graffiti on the bathroom wall, your mind folds in on itself, roll san)

[TheMonocleRogue]

You could make a campaign so RP intensive that it makes the game unfun for everyone involved.

Once I was with an adventuring party, clad in gear we were carrying from previous adventures and ready to fight some baddies. Our DM was fairly new at the time and quite inexperienced (He once allowed a player to cast any 5th level spell once per day as a 1st level character)

So we get to town and what seems to be the trouble? There are ghosts haunting the town hall and the mayor enlists us as "ghost hunters" to catch the ghost. Only there are four catches to the scenario.


We can't wear armor, that would scare off the ghosts for some reason.
Each of us has to carry a pound of salt since this "somehow" keeps the ghosts from attacking us.
If we see a ghost, we have to report it to a priest so he can get rid of it.
If we leave the town hall, we lose any share of the gold and xp the party would get from the encounter.


About two minutes in we don't spot any ghosts and we've searched the entire house. The DM hints at the cupboard in one of the rooms. After one of the players opened it they had to save or die (despite the fact that he was carrying salt). He fails both his saves and drops dead.

I immediately left the table at that point. The DM in question is now on my blacklist at the very top next to the DM who forced us to fight hoards of undead in every encounter.

[Rastapopolos]

Make all your players pick a regional accent for thier PC. Ignore anything said outside this accent (in character and out)...

No OOC talking. everything they say thier character says. In combat, time thier conversations then give the enemies bonus rounds equal to the time they were planning

remove intitiave, whoever talks first goes first.

[Big Fau]

Ponies, Magical Girls, and Space Marines are soooo in. I love ponies. :smalltongue:

Magical Space Marines riding ponies.

[Snowbluff]

Make all your players pick a regional accent for thier PC. Ignore anything said outside this accent (in character and out)...

No OOC talking. everything they say thier character says. In combat, time thier conversations then give the enemies bonus rounds equal to the time they were planning

remove intitiave, whoever talks first goes first.
The accents are in for the players.

Magical Space Marines riding ponies.

Hmm... Yes, that could work.

Also, the space marine will have Antimatter Rifles. Do we have a RAW item enhancement to make them unusable/sucky in the hands of the players?

Ponies will be unicorns with Wizard levels. They will be very strong. :smalltongue:

[zlefin]

give them an important quest to save the world.
Don't tell them other groups are being given the same quest to make sure it gets done.
At some point they find out someone else fixed the problem weeks ago and they were never informed (realism!)

[D4rkh0rus]

The accents are in for the players.


Hmm... Yes, that could work.

Also, the space marine will have Antimatter Rifles. Do we have a RAW item enhancement to make them unusable/sucky in the hands of the players?

Ponies will be unicorns with Wizard levels. They will be very strong. :smalltongue:


Antimatter rifles with a spell of ownership? (not the real name but theres something like it... a spell that makes the item weight like 50 times more if it isn't a specific wielder).

You should also add in a magic mishaps table for all arcane spells that deal with transportation (dimension door, teleport, etc) or extradimensional spaces (rope trick, etc)

in which the characters can get stuck in there and suffocate, or get teleported into a cage etc.


Also, make sure to give them copious amounts of forged/fake documents, parchments. forged scrolls that instead of casting fireball, explode on the player's hands and stuff.



Oh and for one encounter, pit them against 2 armies waging war. have both armies think of them as enemies.

[nedz]

Make all of your players play cat girls.
Have one, selected at random, drop dead the moment anyone mentions Science.
Mention Science a lot.

[TheMonocleRogue]

Make all of your players play cat girls.
Have one, selected at random, drop dead the moment anyone mentions Science.
Mention Science a lot.

Every time you attempt to bring real life physics into a discussion about a fantasy role-play game, the GM kills a cat girl.

Please, think of the cat girls.

[Eonir]

I sense a ton of angry "Echoes of DMs Past" in this thread.

[D4rkh0rus]

I sense a ton of angry "Echoes of DMs Past" in this thread.

You're not sensing it. you're seeing it!


Also... have all players start with a wooden sword and a sling.

[Zirconia]

Bring in the training costs for leveling from AD&D, I remember our party spending almost the entire campaign in debt and having to run missions for the broker who arranged training. Which were generally clearing wilderness of random encounters, who didn't have much loot. Did I mention he also cut normal treasure in half, since he also felt it was too generous? Plus it was split 10-12 ways, we each needed to run multiple characters, any group of less than half a dozen PCs died to random encounters. Which all started from 1d6 tens of feet away, so zero prep time, you needed a ring of sturdier folks on the edge. Boy, nothing gets you attached to your characters and moves play right along like running 3-4 characters simultaneously. . .

Oh, another nice one was you only got a map of some terrain if you actually crossed it. We had a carefully kept map with little trails of forests, mountains, plains, etc. meandering across it. Nobody could tell you what was in the next hex, or where the next town was beyond "I think there is a city somewhere to the east.", you actually had to go there.

[PrinceOfMadness]

Some other ideas:

If you're wanting to use ponies, magical girls, space marines, etc, you could swap out the houses of Eberron for House Pony, House Space Marine, etc to troll your players.

You could even have them meet up every so often to discuss matters in a playground watched over by an invincible Giant....:smallwink:

***

Gilly Hayes the Slightly Used Magic Item Merchant. A peddler with a legendary ability to sell to anyone, anywhere, at any time. He is instinctively able to find his customers anywhere in the world. He will not give up until you buy something from him, and he always picks the worst possible time to show up. In the middle of a boss battle? Sneaking through a hostile fortress? HI GILLY HAYES HERE! Of course, all of his products bear some small, almost imperceptible defect. But I'm sure it's nothing to worry about....

***

Not completely my original idea, but one I got from a friend that was used against him in a campaign:

Magic statues the party finds. At the start of each session players are compelled to touch them. No kind of saving throw, resistance is futile. The statues have various random effects when they are touched, such as...


Changing the player's race, alignment, class, gender, or sexual orientation.
Re-rolling the player's ability scores. In order.
Replacing all of the player's equipment with randomly generated equipment from the DMG.


Use your imagination. :smallbiggrin:

[Deophaun]

Also, the space marine will have Antimatter Rifles. Do we have a RAW item enhancement to make them unusable/sucky in the hands of the players?
Just use the DMG cost reduction rules for magical items to make them require the user to be a Pony/Space Marine/Magical Girl.

Also, they're cursed. -20 UMD.

[Scow2]

Make kender the dominating race.

Make it really awkward that kender culture is the dominant one. Have them stealing the pcs stuff constantly. Make it so they can never stay in an inn without all their stuff being stolen.The problem with this is the players will quickly catch on, and be free to "Borrow" whatever the hell they want, as well.

Kender Culture works among kender. It doesn't work for anyone who takes pride in their work or puts value on items.

If you're wanting to use ponies, magical girls, space marines, etc, you could swap out the houses of Eberron for House Pony, House Space Marine, etc to troll your players.
Don't outright replace the houses. Have the new houses be new, upstart, and completely outshine the "Classic" ones.

[BeerMug Paladin]

Have a deck of many things balanced on a shelf somewhere. The first player to move close to it stumbles into it on accident and half a dozen cards fall off of it at once, counting as having been drawn by the player. The events of the cards trigger in sequence, one minute apart.

Anyone else that goes into the area has a similar fate. The cards reshuffle themselves into the deck once they have been 'drawn'.

For extra fun, place this deck in the entry hallway of a building the players must enter. Have an npc just inside the hallway scold the players for being stupid enough to stumble into it.

Actually, that might be too nice.

[TheMonocleRogue]

Have a deck of many things balanced on a shelf somewhere. The first player to move close to it stumbles into it on accident and half a dozen cards fall off of it at once, counting as having been drawn by the player. The events of the cards trigger in sequence, one minute apart.

Anyone else that goes into the area has a similar fate. The cards reshuffle themselves into the deck once they have been 'drawn'.

For extra fun, place this deck in the entry hallway of a building the players must enter. Have an npc just inside the hallway scold the players for being stupid enough to stumble into it.

Actually, that might be too nice.

Deck of many things does have the potential to be a campaign killer depending on the DM running it. Normally you have to announce the number of cards you draw for them to have any effect, and the cards themselves reshuffle into the deck with the exception of the fool/hanged man.

The indistinguishable pack of game-changing tarot cards falling from the shelf would force the players to flip the table as an immediate action.

[Oko and Qailee]

-Ridiculously favor one player, but don't allow this to help the others.

If possible, get a significant other to play, make them the favored one (or, make them the extremely unfavored one, both are hilarious)

[Fates]

Players who cast spells have to act out the verbal/somatic components. They have to do it the same way every time they cast the given spell. If you don't like their gesticulation/incantations, come up with one for them, and sure to demand it be something particularly humiliating. If they mess it up, the spell backfires.

The same applies for things like bardic music, turn undead, etc.

[D4rkh0rus]

Players who cast spells have to act out the verbal/somatic components. They have to do it the same way every time they cast the given spell. If you don't like their gesticulation/incantations, come up with one for them, and sure to demand it be something particularly humiliating. If they mess it up, the spell backfires.

The same applies for things like bardic music, turn undead, etc.

Force the players to speak in latin, a sentence about how the spell forms (for example, fireball would be "Form in my hand wisp of fire, blast my enemies!" only in latin (use google translate) also have them shout it.

on the other hand... you can have them use stuff like SUPER MEGA CUTE DIZZY RAY OF ENFEEBLEMENT! shouted of course.... heh...



Oh and make Kobolds into a highly intelligent race that is often seen wearing expensive suits and speaking in gentleman English. Don't forget to add the monocle.


also have one of the town's mayors be a bear. just in case. Mr. Bearington, for those who may know its origins.

[EugeneVoid]

Enforce Lighting Rules?

[TheMonocleRogue]

Enforce Lighting Rules?

And then throw several shadow mastiffs into a dark room with no light sources. The horror.

[NightbringerGGZ]

Require that all Bardic performances are actual performances on the part of the player! And the performance should be related to the effect they're trying to create!

[TuggyNE]

I think this can be debated.

Strictly speaking, it can't be; speaking is explicitly a free action "that you can take even when it's not your turn". But of course that's the point of putting it in the thread. :smalltongue:

[Scow2]

Free actions can be taken out-of-turn unless there is language specifying otherwise. That's what makes them free.

[TuggyNE]

Free actions can be taken out-of-turn unless there is language specifying otherwise. That's what makes them free.

That's not the case, but this isn't really the thread to argue about it, so I shan't go into the rules here. (What makes them "free" is that you can take as many as you like per turn, not that you can take them off-turn.)

[Scow2]

What makes them "Free" is that there are no restrictions on them except what the DM decides is reasonable.

[Snowbluff]

What makes them "Free" is that there are no restrictions on them except what the DM decides is reasonable.

"1 is reasonable."

I'd post/reply to more but I just back from a party...

[TripleD]

Blacksmiths are "rustic" and only know how to make ploughs and barrel hoops. Most merchants only deal in everyday trade goods.

If you want a sword, you have to make it yourself using the rules for crafting in the PH1.

[Captnq]

Incredibly cheap airships that anyone can buy, and the air is litterally lousey with sky pirates.

This gets my vote.


Make a campaign based on THIS (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WesternAnimation/TaleSpin).

[TuggyNE]

Blacksmiths are "rustic" and only know how to make ploughs and barrel hoops. Most merchants only deal in everyday trade goods.

If you want a sword, you have to make it yourself using the rules for crafting in the PH1.

And, of course, iron and steel suitable for weapons do not count as trade goods.

[Mithril Leaf]

You could make everyone play a poorly written, unbalanced homebrew race/class.

Everybody can only play homebrew classes and races from dandwiki.

[Dromuthra]

Make your casters write poetry (about their spells) for each spell they know, and each time they want to cast one they have to read the appropriate poem. Make them 1/2 stanza per spell level rounded up minimum, and link spell success and power to length and complexity or excellence of the poem. (0th level spells require a haiku.)

To be truly evil, require them to be written in Iambic Pentameter.

[Chester]

Do what my first ever DM did:


Make PCs pay for supplies like food and water. If you're taking an extra long journey, make sure the party stacks up on dried and salted meat.
PCs must take bathroom breaks.
Roll to see how much sleep each PC got.
Have them roll for height and weight. (I was once a 280 pound wizard.)


. . . . that was no fun at all.

[Fates]

Everybody can only play homebrew classes and races from dandwiki.

And then make liberal rulings about their undoubtedly poorly-written abilities in such a way as to harm the players?

[nedz]

And, of course, iron and steel suitable for weapons do not count as trade goods.

No indeed. These are McGuffins, which must be quested for and fought over. And, ..., when you get back to town someone steals them.

[Kudaku]

I'm envisioning a DMPC order, or possibly Legion, of Lightning Warriors. They're all perfectly identical and one immediately pops into place if the previous DMPC were to, somehow, come to harm. "They're totally balanced because they don't have familiars and can't specialize in a school".

[Invader]

Make all of your characters roll so you can constantly see the results while yours are all behind a screen.

Have them all meet in a tavern to find a single magical mcguffin that will save the world.

[nedz]

Give all monsters the Paragon template, but don't increase either the CR nor the XP.

[Snowbluff]

I'm envisioning a DMPC order, or possibly Legion, of Lightning Warriors. They're all perfectly identical and one immediately pops into place if the previous DMPC were to, somehow, come to harm. "They're totally balanced because they don't have familiars and can't specialize in a school".
They're already mystic rangers. Lightning warriors except with splat support in e6. :smalltongue:

EDIT: How about you guys submit some mystic rangers? That sounds like fun. Level 6, 15 XP feats, 36 PB, and double WBL. Remember to use the reduced PB if you add a template.

Make all of your characters roll so you can constantly see the results while yours are all behind a screen. .

Have them all meet in a tavern to find a single magical mcguffin that will save the world.

Hm... If you watched the videos in the OP, you would know that the characters were dragged on expeditions run by the DMPC.

So the plan is the worse PC will be the messiah, and the DMPC will show everyone up and everyone will be on his payroll.

[SiuiS]

Make the DMPC a retrained Soulgorfer so he and he alone has a caster level of fifteen and can make magic items. Have him routinely show up and request all the party's wealth as some investment towards some big secret weapon that's all nudge nudge wink wink against the forces of darkness.

Then he shows up in tacky full gold with platinum inlays armor that's made from a super expensive combination of metals and embedded gems that constantly reflect light and heat back into it to keep the metals pliable so they're really comfy, like cotton, and totally have a massive armor bonus and stuff!

And also I made you this wand of feather fall as your quest reward. Now, you want a real reward, we're gonna have to fund me my next big project...

[pwykersotz]

Do what my first ever DM did:


Make PCs pay for supplies like food and water. If you're taking an extra long journey, make sure the party stacks up on dried and salted meat.
PCs must take bathroom breaks.
Roll to see how much sleep each PC got.
Have them roll for height and weight. (I was once a 280 pound wizard.)


. . . . that was no fun at all.

I guess your mileage may vary. I have a player who insists on all these things, even though I don't strictly enforce them. It makes him feel more immersed.

[Dimers]

If you're using 3.5 & PF, look for the spells that exist in both and cherry pick the weaker versions.

Except NPCs use the better version against the PCs, of course. And the DMPC can use the good ones too. "It was grandfathered in."

Also, critical fumble rules. If we're screwing the casters with worldwide AMF, let's also screw the beatsticks by making them cut themselves or drop their weapons on 5% of attacks.

[Snowbluff]

Make the DMPC a retrained Soulgorfer so he and he alone has a caster level of fifteen and can make magic items. Have him routinely show up and request all the party's wealth as some investment towards some big secret weapon that's all nudge nudge wink wink against the forces of darkness.

Then he shows up in tacky full gold with platinum inlays armor that's made from a super expensive combination of metals and embedded gems that constantly reflect light and heat back into it to keep the metals pliable so they're really comfy, like cotton, and totally have a massive armor bonus and stuff!

And also I made you this wand of feather fall as your quest reward. Now, you want a real reward, we're gonna have to fund me my next big project... Could you explain the Soulgorfer? I like the idea overall.


Except NPCs use the better version against the PCs, of course. And the DMPC can use the good ones too. "It was grandfathered in."

Also, critical fumble rules. If we're screwing the casters with worldwide AMF, let's also screw the beatsticks by making them cut themselves or drop their weapons on 5% of attacks.
I have a 3.0 PHB. Do you guys remember which spells were better back then? I know Fly and Haste for sure, but only because of OOTS. :smalltongue:

Critical fumbles, yes. Worldwide AMF, no, but because of the "Lightning Warrior" Mystic Ranger.

[nedz]

Worldwide AMF, no, but because of the "Lightning Warrior" Mystic Ranger.

No no, the DMPC has a special homebrew feat which allows him to ignore AMFs. No, it's not available to PCs.

[Snowbluff]

No no, the DMPC has a special homebrew feat which allows him to ignore AMFs. No, it's not available to PCs.

Hmm... perhaps. I still want my players to do stuff.

[Dimers]

Critical fumbles, yes. Worldwide AMF, no, but because of the "Lightning Warrior" Mystic Ranger.

Somebody had suggested that every little peasant's cottage have an AMF. Not worldwide, just ... ya know ... wherever you want to block the players from doing something useful.

[Snowbluff]

Somebody had suggested that every little peasant's cottage have an AMF. Not worldwide, just ... ya know ... wherever you want to block the players from doing something useful.

Perfect! I'll do this. Commoners will have items and spells set up that annoy and hinders the players' efforts.

[Tvtyrant]

Poisonous mosquitoes are everywhere. Every time you go to sleep you have to make a fort save or get malaria.

[Deophaun]

Hmm... perhaps. I still want my players to do stuff.
Which is why there's no AMF on the lightning rail!

[Fates]

Perfect! I'll do this. Commoners will have items and spells set up that annoy and hinders the players' efforts.

Make sure the items can only be used by commoners, so the PCs can't use them.

[Spuddles]

Lots of rolling on tables. You should find ways to make players to roll on multiple tables, like a d6 to make a number of percentile rolls with 100 different outcomes.

Actually, you should require character creation to use the FATAL system to determine cosmetics.

Roll for anal circumference.

[Battleship789]

Except NPCs use the better version against the PCs, of course. And the DMPC can use the good ones too. "It was grandfathered in."

Also, critical fumble rules. If we're screwing the casters with worldwide AMF, let's also screw the beatsticks by making them cut themselves or drop their weapons on 5% of attacks.

Specifically, use this (http://austkyzor.wordpress.com/2011/04/06/the-dnd-critical-fumble-chart/) critical fumble chart.

[nedz]

Which is why there's no AMF on the lightning rail!

Indeed there is no AMF anywhere along the path of the rail-road, only everywhere else. This is how the PCs, and the DMPCs, can tell if they are going the "right" way.

[Totema]

Roll for anal circumference.

I'm scared.

[(Un)Inspired]

Roll for anal circumference.

I fumbled my roll...

[Snowbluff]

Lots of rolling on tables. You should find ways to make players to roll on multiple tables, like a d6 to make a number of percentile rolls with 100 different outcomes.

Actually, you should require character creation to use the FATAL system to determine cosmetics.

Roll for anal circumference.
Hm... perhaps. >:O

I fumbled my roll...

It implodes.

[khachaturian]

enforce real-world physics

[Lanaya]

- Liberal use of wild magic zones. Feel free to suddenly make the battlefield a wild magic zone partway through a fight, just as someone tries to cast an incredibly important spell.

- Introduce 'realistic physics' for mundane characters. Be as inconsistent about it as possible. Pounce is unrealistic, can't do it - the pack of dire lions you throw at the PCs all can though, because lions are vicious predators. Enemies can take a greatsword to the face and laugh it off, but if a PC falls more than 50 feet they break bones or die, no saves allowed, because everyone knows that you can't survive a fall like that.

- Give all humanoid enemies full WBL. Make all their magic items require a skill, class and alignment. Since those factors all reduce price, the NPCs should be loaded with magic items that the PCs can't use.

[(Un)Inspired]

It implodes.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My Rectum!

[137beth]

Use ideas from this campaign (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=275152).

[BeerMug Paladin]

Use ideas from this campaign (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=275152).
I already lifted a suggestion from there, but it's absolutely packed with awful ideas. You could mine it for days and come up with bounties of badness.

[georgie_leech]

I already lifted a suggestion from there, but it's absolutely packed with awful ideas. You could mine it for days and come up with bounties of badness.

If you do, keep in mind there's a difference between Stylistic Suck and... THAT.:smalleek:

[(Un)Inspired]

Use ideas from this campaign (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=275152).

Uhhhh I just got sucked into reading that thread for the last few hours. That was exceedingly depressing.

[Osiris]

Is the party mostly Good-aligned? MAKE THE ENTIRE WORLD EVIL! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!

It's even better if one or two party members ARE evil! Infighting, kidnapping other members for gold, etcetera. One might start bargaining with the BBEG mid-combat, like Belkar in this comic: http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0520.html

[Eulalios]

Keep track of rations and water.
Use diseases, drunkenness, etc.
Each player should show how they plan to carry all their equipment/treasure. Can't carry the loot? It stays. How are you carrying 3 swords and a bow? etc.

Uh ....

..... wow ....

.... WotC-kiddies. :smallannoyed:

So basically, your opinion is that a "bad campaign" incorporates the sort of tricky details that impose decision-making and "realiness?" :smallconfused:

[Silus]

Honestly, the worst thing (at least for me) would be:
E6
Low Magic
Low Wealth
Enemies that have none of the above restrictions

That's when you start stacking the Deck of Many Things to tick off the DM.

[SowZ]

Ponies are already magical. We can't have magical girls wearing power armor. Without the frilly outfits they aren't magical girls... or maybe they can wear both... :smalltongue:

You've a couple options.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-r73Bi3-rwLw/TnIwIbCAp6I/AAAAAAAAAPw/xGjBmoPk0Ks/s1600/nanoha_mecha_title.jpg and
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-C_8EfTiF8-8/TnIzw1PUHhI/AAAAAAAAAQE/XcBkWdTJU8M/s1600/nanoha_mecha_full.jpg
Also, make women all total caricatures. Teases and flirts are everywhere, as are double Ds. The characters never get lucky, but they see plenty of girls mostly naked because of maille lingerie.

[Snowbluff]

That's an interesting idea. But it needs be that and pony. I'll work on every combination and permutation to make the whole of the kinda-rogues gallery.



Enemies that have none of the above restrictions
Oh yeah!


Is the party mostly Good-aligned? MAKE THE ENTIRE WORLD EVIL! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!

It's even better if one or two party members ARE evil! Infighting, kidnapping other members for gold, etcetera. One might start bargaining with the BBEG mid-combat, like Belkar in this comic: http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0520.html
All of the baddies will be hilariously evil to the point of dysfunction.

[TiaC]

All of the baddies will be hilariously evil to the point of dysfunction.

If a character becomes evil, they become an NPC. A single evil act lowers your alignment one step, no warnings or takebacks.

[Osiris]

All of the baddies will be hilariously evil to the point of dysfunction.

VICTORY! Please tell me how this goes, or make a new campaign thread. How dysfunctionally evil will you make them? How is it even possible to make somebody evil to the point of dysfunction?

[Snowbluff]

If a character becomes evil, they become an NPC. A single evil act lowers your alignment one step, no warnings or takebacks.
"Is anyone evil? Yes? Please hand me your sheet." I might just do an unfair corruption/taint system.

VICTORY! Please tell me how this goes, or make a new campaign thread.

Had you seen In a Mirror Darkly, the Enterprise episode where everyone was too evil that they spent more time backstabbing than getting anything done? I don't think the BBEG will be the same person every time.

As for stuff of the evil-generating nature, here's an awesome adventure idea I've had that can easily be made terrible by making the person who does this suffer huge corruption penalties afterwards:

"The people of the town spoke of a gleaming sword on a hill in the woods. Some speak of it as a curse, while others say that it is a blessing that should not be disturbed." The Sword in the Hill is actually a Fleshgrinding weapon used to keep the Tarrasque (The "hill") unconscious by inflicting slightly over 40 damage a round. The Tarrasque is covered in dirt, so the adventurers won't know it's there. Sometime after retrieving the overpowered sword, the Tarraque will regain consciousness and terrorize the countryside. Upon discovering what he/she has done, the adventurer will suffer a bunch of corruption and taint. I think the Sword will be an intelligent, and evil, artifact that will entice the adventurers to draw it if they do not do it of their own accord. It was used to defeat the Big T against it's own will, and seeks to draw blood of mortals once more!

What kind/how powerful should the sword be?

[Novawurmson]

No matter what, the sword must have a hilariously overpowered ability on natural 20 (all creatures within 30ft. must save or be dominated by the sword, with a DC equal to 10+character level+two highest modifiers), and a hilariously underpowered ability on a natural 1 (wielder is eaten by the sword).

For best results, use a table of options for both.

[Snowbluff]

No matter what, the sword must have a hilariously overpowered ability on natural 20 (all creatures within 30ft. must save or be dominated by the sword, with a DC equal to 10+character level+two highest modifiers), and a hilariously underpowered ability on a natural 1 (wielder is eaten by the sword).

For best results, use a table of options for both.

It has to be too good to be true for the user. If it started eating people, I think no one would pick it up again, which is the opposite of what I want to happen. It should use a CL 10 disintegrate after landing a nat 20, though.

Hm... looks like the Fleshgrinding will need a buff for a longer duration. It will have a huge will save to activate it, so no one lets it go.

[Novawurmson]

How about this: The sword doesn't actually do anything special on a natural 1, but you tell the players it does. Every time they roll a 1, you shuffle some papers, roll some dice, and announce that this time, nothing happens.

This time.

[Osiris]

How about this: The sword doesn't actually do anything special on a natural 1, but you tell the players it does. Every time they roll a 1, you shuffle some papers, roll some dice, and announce that this time, nothing happens.

This time.

GENIUS! I know, create a percentage thing for the sword and roll daily. Use a d10- 1 to 9 nothing special this time, 0 (the 10) the 1 does something awesome and the 20 does something awful. Basically on a 10, 20's and 1's are switched. Combine this with the crit failure thing and hilarity ensues. Whether it's for the 1 or the 20 or BOTH!

EDIT: this thread is awesome. I nominate it for Best Thread

[Snowbluff]

How about this: The sword doesn't actually do anything special on a natural 1, but you tell the players it does. Every time they roll a 1, you shuffle some papers, roll some dice, and announce that this time, nothing happens.

This time.
Beautiful.

GENIUS! I know, create a percentage thing for the sword and roll daily. Use a d10- 1 to 9 nothing special this time, 0 (the 10) the 1 does something awesome and the 20 does something awful. Basically on a 10, 20's and 1's are switched. Combine this with the crit failure thing and hilarity ensues. Whether it's for the 1 or the 20 or BOTH!

EDIT: this thread is awesome. I nominate it for Best Thread
I do need more arbitrary percentage systems.

As for best thread, I tend to trend that. I don't know if you around in December, but I got a lot of GitP posters statted as 3.5 deities.

[Novawurmson]

Everybody can only play homebrew classes and races from dandwiki.

YOU...YOU MONSTER!

Also: The CRs of each area are vary wildly. Most of the goblins are level 1-3, but they've also got a Balor chilling in one room.

Make it so that well-known monsters such as vampires and werewolves can only be killed by the things that kill them in fiction. Edit: Never define which mythology you're pulling from. Sometimes only sunlight kills vampires, sometimes garlic is useless, sometimes they have to gain permission to enter a building, etc.

[mitchewd]

1: Make them start as level six experts (Doctors, blacksmiths, poets, etc). Their actions in game play determine which player classes they may qualify for. The player who spends his time in combat may only take fighter levels. The player who tries to be stealthy only gains rogue levels. (This is from an old 2nd edition module, I forget the name...)

2: All the bad guys only ride giant space hamsters.

[WhamBamSam]

"1 is reasonable."

I'd post/reply to more but I just back from a party..."... for you. For me, any number is reasonable. Also, A Ravening Wyrm of War Great Wyrm Multiheaded Force Dragon Binder 20/Duskblade 13/Warrior Skald 1/Sublime Chord 10/Anima Mage 10/Factotum 20/Psion 20 (with every spell and power as a power known, natch)/Martial Monk 2/Crusader 1/Warblade 1/Swordsage 1/Cloistered Cleric 1/Singer of Concordance 2/Geomancer 10/Ruby Knight Vindicator 10/Druid 9/Contemplative 1/Planar Shepherd 10/Hidecarved Dragon 12/Dragon Ascendant 12 is CR0, because a Ravening Dragon's CR goes down 1 for every 4 points of Con lost, and he's lost a bunch over the millenia. Granted, it's all been fast healing thanks to Naberius, but that's neither here nor there. Quicken Breath was never errata'd from a free action to a swift, so he can just do that as many times as he likes thanks to Ravening. He then can take all the standard actions, all the swift actions, and all the full round actions. Roll initiative, or just a new character. Whichever."

Alternately, if you make it an Amethyst Dragon, it'll have a Force Damage Breath Weapon that can deal non-lethal damage. (It'll also have Psionics instead of Sorc casting, so you should turn the Psion 20 into some sort of Incanatrix Wizard build) It will knock them out as a free action or two, then the DMPC will kill it offscreen ("it was CR0, I should be able to handwave that") or talk it out of eating them on the condition that he spend the night with her, because, obviously your self insert is just so dead sexy that a super Epic quasi-deity dragon just can't resist him.

Spend a story arc or so watching over the DMPC's Half-Dragon bastard offspring in the nursery.


Critical fumbles, yes. Worldwide AMF, no, but because of the "Lightning Warrior" Mystic Ranger.The AMF is Selective(the DMPC).

Either make the DMPC a shameless self-insert, or make it actually named "Diempeacee" or somesuch. That name sounds vaguely female, so make it a well endowed, stupidly attractive girl in her early 20s. Make most of the party's adventures center around warding off the paparazzi and/or prospective suitors.

Alternately, do both. Make two DMPC SotAO Mystic Rangers, one a shameless self-insert, and the other his gorgeous girlfriend/wife. That means no Selective AMF, unfortunately, since you can only select one creature. Maybe make their wedding rings custom items of Invoke Magic or something.

If you use the above dragon in the DMPC couple scenario, then the pair are talked into a threesome. It will result in the self-insert siring of both a human and a Half-Dragon child, and the protecting the nursery arc will then include making sure that the latter doesn't eat the former.

Incidentally, why do your players want a terrible campaign? Is this the only game you'll have going, or is it more of a side diversion/joke thing?

[Snowbluff]

Alternately, if you make it an Amethyst Dragon, it'll have a Force Damage Breath Weapon that can deal non-lethal damage. Is that why Morcleon made his dragon Amethyst for Wyrms Council? I am so murdering him. :smalltongue::


The AMF is Selective(the DMPC). Maybe. This also means I can't throw as many cursed items at them. Universal AMF is a no right now.


Either make the DMPC a shameless self-insert, or make it actually named "Diempeacee" or somesuch. That name sounds vaguely female, so make it a well endowed, stupidly attractive girl in her early 20s. Make most of the party's adventures center around warding off the paparazzi and/or prospective suitors.

Alternately, do both. Make two DMPC SotAO Mystic Rangers, one a shameless self-insert, and the other his gorgeous girlfriend/wife.
These. These so very much.


Incidentally, why do your players want a terrible campaign? Is this the only game you'll have going, or is it more of a side diversion/joke thing?
One of my players has been watching the video series I posted in the OP called The Children of the Sandler. It was awful. This game will be ongoing.

[nedz]

All the bad guys only ride giant space hamsters.

I misread that as Giant Space Hoppers — works too I guess; though actually it should be Paladins who get Celestial Giant Space Hoppers as their special mounts.

Also, whenever the party walk into a tavern: there is always a group of people playing with a Deck of Many Things.

[Totema]

How about enforcing the Death and Dying rules for every enemy they encounter?

[Snowbluff]

How about enforcing the Death and Dying rules for every enemy they encounter?

Every enemy is carrying that relic that grants heal certain days. If a player takes it, it's not that day. Ever.

[zephyrkinetic]

Uh ....

..... wow ....

.... WotC-kiddies. :smallannoyed:

So basically, your opinion is that a "bad campaign" incorporates the sort of tricky details that impose decision-making and "realiness?" :smallconfused:

A bad campaign is one where the table is weighed down by tedium. If I wanted to sit for hours watching my friends sort inventory, we'd be LAN-ing Skyrim.

I get that it's more realistic to have to deal with all that, and I see the merits, but we house-ruled long ago that unless you're going to do something ridiculous (like tote a ballista in your fanny pack), it's generally fine.

Also, no need for name-calling. I've played long enough. :smallcool:

[Arbane]

1: Make them start as level six experts (Doctors, blacksmiths, poets, etc). Their actions in game play determine which player classes they may qualify for. The player who spends his time in combat may only take fighter levels. The player who tries to be stealthy only gains rogue levels. (This is from an old 2nd edition module, I forget the name...)

Naturally, no PCs ever get to be arcane casters, since that would require them to cast spells before having a spell-casting class. Divine casters may be possible, if they spend all their actions praying... and get a successful Divine Intervention.



Had you seen In a Mirror Darkly, the Enterprise episode where everyone was too evil that they spent more time backstabbing than getting anything done? I don't think the BBEG will be the same person every time.


This could work perfectly. The PCs never get any more powerful thanks to bogus CR rules, level draining attacks, and 'training times' borrowed from AD&D, but since each BBEG gets betrayed and killed by their minions, by the end of the campaign, the 'B'BEG will be someone wimpy enough that the PCs DMPC can squish them trivially.

[roguemetal]

Use THIS (http://www.ansible.co.uk/misc/eyeargon.html) for inspiration.

Often accredited as the worst work of fantasy fiction ever published.

[Snowbluff]

A bad campaign is one where the table is weighed down by tedium. If I wanted to sit for hours watching my friends sort inventory, we'd be LAN-ing Skyrim.

I get that it's more realistic to have to deal with all that, and I see the merits, but we house-ruled long ago that unless you're going to do something ridiculous (like tote a ballista in your fanny pack), it's generally fine. Skyrim's inventory sucks. In fact, the whole game tells a terrible tale of the decline of the series. Morrowind was so awesome.

Yeah, a lot of the treasure will be difficult to move. The donkey will die the first round of each combat, as it should in the realistic game. If I were a bandit, and I saw some adventurers, I'd want to separate them from their money. If they stay to drag it, it'd give time for me to gather more bandits.

Also, no need for name-calling. I've played long enough. :smallcool:
Seriously, what the hell was up with that?

Naturally, no PCs ever get to be arcane casters, since that would require them to cast spells before having a spell-casting class. Divine casters may be possible, if they spend all their actions praying... and get a successful Divine Intervention. Comic sans, yes.


This could work perfectly. The PCs never get any more powerful thanks to bogus CR rules, level draining attacks, and 'training times' borrowed from AD&D, but since each BBEG gets betrayed and killed by their minions, by the end of the campaign, the 'B'BEG will be someone wimpy enough that the PCs DMPC can squish them trivially.
It's E6. They aren't getting much stronger each level anyway. Nice idea for a full game, though.

Use THIS (http://www.ansible.co.uk/misc/eyeargon.html) for inspiration.

Often accredited as the worst work of fantasy fiction ever published.

I have a migraine now. I couldn't get past the first 3 lines. Perfect.

[Balor01]

You are on a wrong forum for such threads.

4chan (http://www.4chan.org/)

[Snowbluff]

You are on a wrong forum for such threads.

4chan (http://www.4chan.org/)

It's blocked on a lot of the public wifis I use.

Also, I have far more self respect than that. :smalltongue:

[Balor01]

{{scrubbed}}

[Snowbluff]

{{scrubbed}}

Laughing out loud.

Word count.

[Deophaun]

Skyrim's inventory sucks. In fact, the whole game tells a terrible tale of the decline of the series. Morrowind was so awesome.
Really annoys me that, if you try to play a heroic character in Skyrim, you're going to miss half the game. With that in mind...

While turning evil makes you become an NPC, and committing evil acts drops you precipitously on the alignment chart, have murder be the solution to every quest.

[Crazysaneman]

Have all of you NPC's and encounters built on homebrew classes from D&D Wiki's Homebrew Section! (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/3.5e_Homebrew)