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View Full Version : Handling Rude or Uninterested Players [ANY]



Volos
2014-01-16, 11:29 PM
I need some help dealing with a particular situation with a couple of my players. But first some background into my campaign and my group. I'm, in my own and others' opinions, a fairly experienced DM. I know how to handle most in game situations and I've been known to run an engaging and fun game. In my most recent game I'm running five players, three that I've run before and am familiar with, and two new comers who are experienced with d20.

The players that I am familiar with are all enjoying my game so far. They are engaged in the Roleplay, challenged by the combat, and are delving in the setting with glee. The other two, however, are not as impressed. I've tried asking these players what is or isn't working for them, but all I've gotten in response is "The game is fine" or worst yet "I'm having fun...". These two have been known for starting up Magic The Gathering games on the side, talking loudly to people in the game shop during other player's turns, getting bored during combat and demanding more roleplay only to ignore or try to skip over roleplay scenes when they come up, and generally being rude and not respecting the game.

What I'm having trouble with is how to ask these players to, for lack of a better word, "behave" during game. At times I enjoy having them at the table but when they get disrespectful I, and the other players, are fed up. I do not want to just kick them out of the game, as we are only a few sessions into the campaign. I want to make it clear to them what behavior is not allowed at the table without making them feel unwelcome to my game. I need a full compliment of players and unfortunately they are the best my local shop has to offer. One more player has become available, and I'd love to have him, but that would mean ejecting one of the two offenders. How do I dictate law without seeming like a LE DM?

Rhynn
2014-01-16, 11:41 PM
Handling Rude Players

Tell them they need to stop being rude, or they are no longer invited. Why spend time with rude or unpleasant people? It's a social activity.


Handling Uninterested Players

If they're not interested, they don't need to come.


These two have been known for starting up Magic The Gathering games on the side

Ask them to leave, uninvite them.


talking loudly to people in the game shop during other player's turns

Ask them to quiet down, and if the problem is persistent, uninvite them.


getting bored during combat and demanding more roleplay only to ignore or try to skip over roleplay scenes when they come up, and generally being rude and not respecting the game.

Outline the problematic behavior frankly and directly, tell them it needs to stop, and uninvite them if it doesn't.

Don't play with people who don't respect you, the other players, and the game.


What I'm having trouble with is how to ask these players to, for lack of a better word, "behave" during game.

"Hey, you guys need to stop that." ("that" can be replaced with a specific description of problematic behavior)
"Hey, I asked you guys to stop that."
"Look, I asked nicely twice, now I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You're no longer welcome at the game."

I guess you may want to make sure the other players are fine with this, but if they're weenies (I say that, uh, affectionately... right, sure...) or subscribe to the Geek Social Fallacies, they may not agree, and you may have to be the "meanie" for the good of all.


I need a full compliment of players and unfortunately they are the best my local shop has to offer. One more player has become available, and I'd love to have him, but that would mean ejecting one of the two offenders.

There's no such thing as a full complement of players. Three is fine. Four is just as fine. Kick the two troublemakers out if they don't heed clear and exact warnings, and take the other guy in.


How do I dictate law without seeming like a LE DM?

Don't be afraid of being "mean" by demanding that people who supposedly want to participate in group activity with you and your friends show bare minimum respect to you, your friends, and the activity. It's not actually mean, it's just assertive; certain manipulative social bullies just love making you feel like it's mean. They're the ones acting "Chaotic Evil" here, to use your own simile.

Zharradan Marr
2014-01-16, 11:51 PM
I love Magic the Gathering almost as much as I love D&D. But people need to know their limits. If someone would start a Magic game on the side in my D&D game (or vice versa :smallsmile:), I would not tolerate that.

And agree with above poster, three dedicated players who enjoy the game and take effort to role play, are as much of a "full complement" as anything.

Volos
2014-01-16, 11:58 PM
{Good Advice}

I can't really argue with any of that. I guess I just am a little gun-shy in giving ultimatums considering that the pool of available players is rather small. As it is, one of the two offending players just quit. But I would still like to have advice on how to broach this subject with the remaining players. I was thinking I could introduce House Rules at the beginning of next session. As well as the behavioral rules, I would explain other things like dice rolls only count when rolled in the open on the table, how Hero Points work, and the like. Do you think that introducing the rules that way would make things clear to all the players without being too strong?

Rhynn
2014-01-17, 12:02 AM
I was thinking I could introduce House Rules at the beginning of next session. As well as the behavioral rules, I would explain other things like dice rolls only count when rolled in the open on the table, how Hero Points work, and the like.

That sounds like a good idea, too. In fact, running a game in an open environment like that, I think it's essential. I've long enforced the "dice are rolled after the roll is called for, and only count if they end up on the table" rule at my games. All the behavioral rules - no starting side-games, no non-emergency phone calls, etc. - are good stuff, too.

Write them down, tell the group the rules up-front, and tell any new player who joins what the table rules are first thing.

Spore
2014-01-17, 12:06 AM
They are not interested in roleplaying they like the combat system and rules background. Ask him what he wants to do in your game. If his only answer is "fighting of course" and he doesn't play a nutty fighter type character, he is wrong in your game.

Kelb_Panthera
2014-01-17, 03:16 AM
"You fellas don't seem to be enjoying the game I'm running." *cut them off as they start to object* "You've started playing a different game on the side, you complain about the length of combat, and you try to breeze through any RP we do. This is me giving you your first, last, and only warning: knock it off or join a different group. I'm sorry if saying this seems rude but you're just not clicking with the group right now and you're being rude to me and the other players and that's not acceptable. Take a few moments* to think it over and get back to me. No hard feelings if you decide to leave."


*Substitute days if saying this in e-mail.



That's how I'd do it. Give them the warning and if they say they want to stay but continue to be disruptive give them a firm boot. Something like;

"You were warned and now you've left me with no choice. Please find another group. You're simply not working out with this one and that's all there is to it."

jedipotter
2014-01-17, 12:20 PM
How do I dictate law without seeming like a LE DM?

You really can't. This sort of nitpicking by saying ''players must be robots that do exactly what I want'' won't get you very far. So right off the bat, the best thing you can do is get rid of the players.

The only one I would enforce is the ''no Magic''. So what if they talk to other people?

And the role play one is 'iffy'. They say ''we would like some role play''. So you make up a 'great' role play encounter with like an old farmer who has some nugget of information. But the players just see a boring farmer. The players were hoping for something more exciting.

jaybird
2014-01-17, 12:21 PM
Kick and never look back.

Airk
2014-01-17, 12:51 PM
Well, if you've already lost one of them, the problem may be solved; Certainly, the remaining player isn't going to be playing M:TG by himself.

That said, otherwise, all the suggestions in this thread stand, I'd just add the caveat to give the remaining problem player a session or two to see if he shapes up in the absence of his troublemaking buddy.

Four is, indeed, a perfectly acceptable number of players, indeed, I think these days I prefer it to 5.

Jornophelanthas
2014-01-17, 01:46 PM
At the very least, the one player leaving also means that you have a seat on the table available to invite the new player.

However, you should consult the other players first. And you should probably wait at least one game session, in order to avoid reactions of: "Hey, DM! Where is X? And why is Y joining us? Did you orchestrate this?"

Jay R
2014-01-18, 12:09 PM
How do I dictate law without seeming like a LE DM?

Talk to the other three and make sure that they are behind you before doing anything. If they will back you, and you need to kick people out, then just go ahead and do it.

The phrasing isn't all that important here. There is nothing to be gained by speaking more precisely than they will be listening. (They're already not paying attention, right?)

You're looking for words to avoid upsetting them while you take an action that will upset them. That never works.

Do what is right regardless of how it looks. Accept the fact that they aren't going to be happy with being kicked out no matter how you phrase. it.

Amphetryon
2014-01-18, 12:28 PM
"You fellas don't seem to be enjoying the game I'm running." *cut them off as they start to object* "You've started playing a different game on the side, you complain about the length of combat, and you try to breeze through any RP we do. This is me giving you your first, last, and only warning: knock it off or join a different group. I'm sorry if saying this seems rude but you're just not clicking with the group right now and you're being rude to me and the other players and that's not acceptable. Take a few moments* to think it over and get back to me. No hard feelings if you decide to leave."


*Substitute days if saying this in e-mail.



That's how I'd do it. Give them the warning and if they say they want to stay but continue to be disruptive give them a firm boot. Something like;

"You were warned and now you've left me with no choice. Please find another group. You're simply not working out with this one and that's all there is to it."

Now modify the above when the behaviors described happen during play organized at your job, where their behavior is not against the rules established by your boss, and booting them for not violating the rules isn't allowed. :smallsigh:

Glimbur
2014-01-18, 01:29 PM
Now modify the above when the behaviors described happen during play organized at your job, where there behavior is not against the rules established by your boss, and booting them for not violating the rules isn't allowed. :smallsigh:

That... gets a lot harder. My first impulse would be to reason with them: ask "are you having fun in this game?" Explain what you have observed (they do other things instead of playing the game). Point out how that affects the other players. Circle back to "are you having fun?". Just my first thoughts, and you may have already tried this.

Amphetryon
2014-01-18, 01:44 PM
That... gets a lot harder. My first impulse would be to reason with them: ask "are you having fun in this game?" Explain what you have observed (they do other things instead of playing the game). Point out how that affects the other players. Circle back to "are you having fun?". Just my first thoughts, and you may have already tried this.

I did try it, it didn't help, and I don't particularly intend to hijack the OP's thread. Sorry.

Kelb_Panthera
2014-01-18, 03:41 PM
Now modify the above when the behaviors described happen during play organized at your job, where their behavior is not against the rules established by your boss, and booting them for not violating the rules isn't allowed. :smallsigh:

Gaming as networking for your job? Ick.

You.... don't have great luck with gaming groups, sometimes, huh?

Amphetryon
2014-01-18, 03:53 PM
Gaming as networking for your job? Ick.

You.... don't have great luck with gaming groups, sometimes, huh?

Running the game was a large part of my 'job description,' not long ago. I watched a Pokemon game break out during one of the sessions I ran (with, if memory serves, 12 Players that week). I was explicitly told I was not allowed to make them stop and pay attention to the game I was running, or to ask them to leave.

Yeah.