D&D Demotivators Episode VIII: [Demotivating Intensifies]

[toapat]

*snip*

Monetary considerations i was refferencing were NOT about the monetization of the game, it was about the RnD costs that led them to remove everything that made GWs interesting in place of mechanics which most other groups have tried and thrown out because they dont work. the Dev Blogs actually say that as well, if not as directly.

Sure, it results in a product which is in the end, much more playable then the original (although like the original, the combat is entirely mechanical), but its not remotely a sequel. a proper itteration on the original's gameplay would be an increased mutability in classes and more important decisions in terms of what skills you use. Instead they took the idea of weapon techniques from warrior and bolted that onto everyone, even though you cant point to a game where such is good. you can have "epic" skills linked to a weapon like how Volcano's Edge, Anvil of Thunder, and Lightning maces are in DDO, but having that as your entire mechanic will always hurt the game because you are increasing number of variables for no justifiable reason whatsoever, while limiting player options.

Edit: Heres one:

http://i.imgur.com/VTALOcy.jpg

[Arkhosia]

Please tell me there's an actual anime that came from so I can go watch it.
It's from A Certain Scientific Railgun S.

[ChaosArchon]

Edit: Heres one:

http://i.imgur.com/VTALOcy.jpg

Where's that quote from, its incredibly badass! Oh and the paladin's code quote was pretty well put and on a side note Viva la Guild Wars 2

[toapat]

Where's that quote from, its incredibly badass! Oh and the paladin's code quote was pretty well put and on a side note Viva la Guild Wars 2

i wrote it while watching a letsplay of ME3 when they did Garrus' mission on the Citadel.

[murph04]

Lurking tax


http://i1332.photobucket.com/albums/w605/murph04/Mortals_zps9971d37f.jpg
http://i1332.photobucket.com/albums/w605/murph04/Devils_zps2df90ca4.jpg
http://i1332.photobucket.com/albums/w605/murph04/Grey_zps48a2d962.jpg
http://i1332.photobucket.com/albums/w605/murph04/Abyss_zps6b0ef514.jpg
http://i1332.photobucket.com/albums/w605/murph04/Adventure_Chaplin_zps64a708e8.jpg

[Ksheep]

Another one I found, from Facebook this time. I really should start making my own again…

https://scontent-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t1.0-9/10172674_1474319549466528_4506677134358452973_n.jp g

[Time Blossom]

Another one I found, from Facebook this time. I really should start making my own again…

https://scontent-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t1.0-9/10172674_1474319549466528_4506677134358452973_n.jp gI'm pretty sure there are planes where that's actually a thing. I remember a buddy of mine said a character of his ended after he somehow got plane-shifted to a demiplane with subjective gravity and intermittent wisdom drain. Apparently he eventually spent the rest of his days flying through the air and making "whoosh" noises and yelling about how much fun he was having.

And my submission:
http://i60.tinypic.com/25ewo6o.jpg

Mordenkainen gets top billing, but I'll bet Tenser got invited to more parties. Floating Disk could carry, like, all the kegs.

[Arkhosia]

http://i.imgur.com/VAF7V1Q.jpg

[jguy]

What is the epic summoning thing referencing?

[Arkhosia]

in fate/Zero, Iskander can summon his entire army.

[Sith_Happens]

http://i1332.photobucket.com/albums/w605/murph04/Mortals_zps9971d37f.jpg

GUN-AXE.

That is all.

[Sith_Happens]

Alright, time to farm some notes:

http://i60.tinypic.com/2qkt4p1.jpg

[Arkhosia]

Alright, time to farm some notes:

http://i60.tinypic.com/2qkt4p1.jpg

Bahaha
I must know what comic this is from specifically
As in what issue.

But seriously, that's awesome

[Sith_Happens]

Bahaha
I must know what comic this is from specifically
As in what issue.

But seriously, that's awesome

I'm pretty sure it's fan art, it took some scrolling to find one without a blank background.

[Admiral Harkov]

I'm pretty sure it's fan art, it took some scrolling to find one without a blank background.

They're playing Shingeki no Kyojin (English title Attack on Titan), probably as Eren Yeager.

[Yora]

He's shouting "they are the food and we are the hunters". And amazingly it's 100% grammaticaly correct. Something you virtually never see outside of Germany.:smallbiggrin:

Edit: No, wait. "Jäeger"? You can use "ae" as an alternative to "ä", but you can't have "äe". Disappointed agsin...

[GPuzzle]

He's shouting "they are the food and we are the hunters". And amazingly it's 100% grammaticaly correct. Something you virtually never see outside of Germany.:smallbiggrin:

Edit: No, wait. "Jäeger"? You can use "ae" as an alternative to "ä", but you can't have "äe". Disappointed agsin...

Oh well, I thought the mistake was that "essen" was technically in the plural, so it should've been "die essen", but seemingly I was wrong.

[Yora]

"Das Essen" is one of those words that have no plural. (The the ending -en often indicates plurals.) It's like English where you don't have two apples as "your foods"

Grammar is correct, but spelling ended up wrong instead.:smallbiggrin:

[OverdrivePrime]

That's the best demotivator I've seen in a long, long time, Sith_Happens! :smallbiggrin:


"Das Essen" is one of those words that have no plural. (The the ending -en often indicates plurals.) It's like English where you don't have two apples as "your foods"

Grammar is correct, but spelling ended up wrong instead.:smallbiggrin:

As a (terrible) student of German, and a longtime anime fan, I've always been curious about the preponderance of anime titles with heavy German influence. Are Japanese nerds German fanboys in the same way American nerds are Japan fanboys? Who are German nerds fanboys of? Sweden? Australia?

[GPuzzle]

"Das Essen" is one of those words that have no plural. (The the ending -en often indicates plurals.) It's like English where you don't have two apples as "your foods"

Grammar is correct, but spelling ended up wrong instead.:smallbiggrin:

Oh well, since I'm from Brazil, I probably mixed things up somewhere.

[Milo v3]

Australia?

Fanboys of giant spiders and lazy beer drinkers? :smallconfused:

[Hiro Protagonest]

He's shouting "they are the food and we are the hunters". And amazingly it's 100% grammaticaly correct. Something you virtually never see outside of Germany.:smallbiggrin:

Edit: No, wait. "Jäeger"? You can use "ae" as an alternative to "ä", but you can't have "äe". Disappointed agsin...

Yeah. The words are straight out of the Attack on Titan theme, which is sung in German.

[Arkhosia]

Yeah. The words are straight out of the Attack on Titan theme, which is sung in German.

Actually, parts of it such as that are german. mostly it's Japanese

[Yora]

As a (terrible) student of German, and a longtime anime fan, I've always been curious about the preponderance of anime titles with heavy German influence. Are Japanese nerds German fanboys in the same way American nerds are Japan fanboys? Who are German nerds fanboys of? Sweden? Australia?

Yes, the Japanese are.
And Germans are America fanboys. The circle is now complete.

The reason is that Germany and Japan are actually very similar in their history, and also have very strong overlaps in society and values. (My personal opinion is that similar starting conditions DO in fact create very similar results, even if the developments happen completely independent of each other.) In the late 19th century, Japanese leadership realized they really needed to catch up very quickly in technology, administration, and science, but also to adopt western culture, or they would become a colony like Vietnam or the Philippines. Germany seemed to be the most close "in spirit", had just finished their own restructuring very successfully, and also had no colonial aspirations in East Asia. So after some first tryouts with the French, Germany became the blueprint for modern Japan, providing huge amounts of knowhow. The Japanese have always been keen about adopting better technologies, but I think taking German heavy industry as their ideal probably played a major part in making Japan such an industrial powerhouse.
As I said, I think history is not random and similar conditions will create very similar results, but from that point on developments were no longer independent and then we got that whole ugly mess of the 20th century, for which Germany and Japan are mostly to blame. To my knowledge, there is no longer any significant exchange between Japan and Germany, we both probably get much more impact from America (who occupied and rebuild both countries to it's taste), but I think that applies to pretty much every place in the world. But still, Germany remains subconsciously in Japanese culture as one of those really cool countries. That Japan got a somewhat similar reputation here is a more recent development.

[Arkhosia]

Yes, the Japanese are.
And Germans are America fanboys. The circle is now complete.

The reason is that Germany and Japan are actually very similar in their history, and also have very strong overlaps in society and values. (My personal opinion is that similar starting conditions DO in fact create very similar results, even if the developments happen completely independent of each other.) In the late 19th century, Japanese leadership realized they really needed to catch up very quickly in technology, administration, and science, but also to adopt western culture, or they would become a colony like Vietnam or the Philippines. Germany seemed to be the most close "in spirit", had just finished their own restructuring very successfully, and also had no colonial aspirations in East Asia. So after some first tryouts with the French, Germany became the blueprint for modern Japan, providing huge amounts of knowhow. The Japanese have always been keen about adopting better technologies, but I think taking German heavy industry as their ideal probably played a major part in making Japan such an industrial powerhouse.
As I said, I think history is not random and similar conditions will create very similar results, but from that point on developments were no longer independent and then we got that whole ugly mess of the 20th century, for which Germany and Japan are mostly to blame. To my knowledge, there is no longer any significant exchange between Japan and Germany, we both probably get much more impact from America (who occupied and rebuild both countries to it's taste), but I think that applies to pretty much every place in the world. But still, Germany remains subconsciously in Japanese culture as one of those really cool countries. That Japan got a somewhat similar reputation here is a more recent development.
I am now tempted to draw a picture of Hetalia Japan, America, and Germany being best friends.

[Amaril]

I am now tempted to draw a picture of Hetalia Japan, America, and Germany being best friends.

It'd be a welcome change from the whole "everyone hates America" thing that seems to crop up everywhere (though that might just be a consequence of living in Canada).

[toapat]

It'd be a welcome change from the whole "everyone hates America" thing that seems to crop up everywhere (though that might just be a consequence of living in Canada).

nope. Everyone Hates America.

Expecially Americans

Except for Japan

[Lord Raziere]

nope. Everyone Hates America.

Expecially Americans

Except for Japan

Yeah. Americans used to like America, but then we realized how much we suck at being America. and yes, that makes sense, I don't care what you say.

Don't believe me? compare America's cultural ideals (no ironic jokes please) to its current state in reality. and you'll see what I mean.

[Necroticplague]

Yeah. Americans used to like America, but then we realized how much we suck at being America. and yes, that makes sense, I don't care what you say.

Don't believe me? compare America's cultural ideals (no ironic jokes please) to its current state in reality. and you'll see what I mean.

Wait, we're not supposed to be "America, Land of one those comfortably insulated from policy-making by a thick layer of money, home of the masses who have to choose between fearing violent separatists or an opaque,inquisitorial government"?

[JHShadon]

Here's a poster I've been meaning to make for a while.

http://i.imgur.com/4MDBh1w.jpg

[Hiro Protagonest]

...I made this a while back, but don't think I ever posted it. I think I was going to make some others and post it with them.

http://i.imgur.com/usq2egi.jpg

[Leviting]

Here's a poster I've been meaning to make for a while.

http://i.imgur.com/4MDBh1w.jpg

what barbarian? all I see is a pirate.

[Time Blossom]

And now, an ode to the most spiteful piece of equipment you will ever own:

http://i60.tinypic.com/2s0zv2h.jpg

Yes, really. (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/special-materials#TOC-Viridium)
Double secret bonus points if you use it on the Tarrasque.
I know it doesn't work, but it would be hilarious if it did.

[Erik Vale]

Extra bonus points for being a really useless material. Chance to contract yourself, low save, and the damage does basically nothing [apply 1 per week, minimum heal 1/day... Fatigued however is more annoying.]

[Ralanr]

Here's a poster I've been meaning to make for a while.

http://i.imgur.com/4MDBh1w.jpg


Best. Disguise. Ever.

Love that show.

[Time Blossom]

Extra bonus points for being a really useless material. Chance to contract yourself, low save, and the damage does basically nothing [apply 1 per week, minimum heal 1/day... Fatigued however is more annoying.]I operate under the assumption that it's supposed to be Cha drain rather than Cha damage, given the description of "wounds that do not heal" and "permanently disfigured[d]." Otherwise even a Level 1 Commoner could deal with it.

"Oh, can't go out today, Gerald, my leprosy's flaring up. I'll hit you up tomorrow."

It's leprosy. Leprosy does not work that way.

(On the other hand, Viridium is cheaper than masterwork and brittle to boot, so... ja.)

Anyway, more Pathfinder love: http://i57.tinypic.com/16j3reh.jpg

[endoperez]

I operate under the assumption that it's supposed to be Cha drain rather than Cha damage, given the description of "wounds that do not heal" and "permanently disfigured[d]." Otherwise even a Level 1 Commoner could deal with it.

"Oh, can't go out today, Gerald, my leprosy's flaring up. I'll hit you up tomorrow."

It's leprosy. Leprosy does not work that way.

(On the other hand, Viridium is cheaper than masterwork and brittle to boot, so... ja.)

Anyway, more Pathfinder love: http://i57.tinypic.com/16j3reh.jpg

So... Two World Magic lets you take a weak spell/power that your class doesn't already have, and Sheer Cold is a chance-of-instakill ability that a Magicarp can get in some way?

[Necroticplague]

So... Two World Magic lets you take a weak spell/power that your class doesn't already have, and Sheer Cold is a chance-of-instakill ability that a Magicarp can get in some way?

That "in some way" is blatant hacking. It's not possible for a magicarp to have it normally. No amount of breeding will do the trick.

[Slipperychicken]

Just a little bit of tax:

http://i.imgur.com/a4E353I.jpg

[the pic looked familiar to me, so someone let me know if the poster was made before]

[toapat]

That "in some way" is blatant hacking. It's not possible for a magicarp to have it normally. No amount of breeding will do the trick.

actually thats a specific pokemon distributed in Japan, its technically a magicarp but it has a more liberal move list, which natively includes Hydropump.

[Ralanr]

Just a little bit of tax:

http://i.imgur.com/a4E353I.jpg

[the pic looked familiar to me, so someone let me know if the poster was made before]

Where is that from?

[Fable Wright]

Where is that from?
The rather dark manga Terrafor MARS.

[endoperez]

That "in some way" is blatant hacking. It's not possible for a magicarp to have it normally. No amount of breeding will do the trick.

Oookay?

The demotivator doesn't make any sense then. Two obscure bits of information, one in the "core phrase", the other in the details of the image, that must be understood the connection that's tenuous to begin with.

It could be made into two perfectly good demotivators, but this one doesn't work.

A Magicarp poster about godfish, giving a goldfish godlike powers, or a reference to a power boost that's easy to understand would work. I'll leave that to the OP, but the Two World Magic idea is too good to pass on, so I'll do that myself. Hope he doesn't mind...

*time passes*

I had a bit of trouble finding any good images for it. The best/simplest/most recognizable things I could come up with (a wizard in crusader garb, a real-world priest photoshopped to cast a fireball etc.) don't seem to have any easily-uncovered imagery for that. Any way:


http://i61.tinypic.com/2en009i.jpg

[Spore]

http://abload.de/img/86127172jmedq.gif

[Time Blossom]

actually thats a specific pokemon distributed in Japan, its technically a magicarp but it has a more liberal move list, which natively includes Hydropump.o.O
ow, I guess some people really do take Skill Focus: Knowledge(Nature)!


The demotivator doesn't make any sense then. Two obscure bits of information, one in the "core phrase", the other in the details of the image, that must be understood the connection that's tenuous to begin with.Two World Magic is all about having spells you're not supposed to have. Magikarp is pretty famous for using Splash and not really doing anything else. It seemed a pretty straight connection to me!
(Admittedly, it would've worked better with some silly-powerful Pokemon using Splash instead, but I couldn't find a picture of one of those and couldn't be bothered to make one.)

Anyway, I'm not sure how wizards using lightsabers makes any more sense, but I'll take the derivation as a compliment anyway! ^.^
Also it gave me an idea for a poster, so double-thanks!

http://i62.tinypic.com/23jh8jl.jpg

Yes, I know he's canonically not an elf. But he hides his ears under all that hair, so can you ever really be sure? :smallbiggrin:

[Slipperychicken]

Yes, I know he's canonically not an elf. But he hides his ears under all that hair, so can you ever really be sure? :smallbiggrin:

Wikipedia tells me that Gandalfr (from which his name is derived) basically means "Magic Elf". So it's kind of like if an Old Norse person played D&D and was really uncreative about naming his elf wizard.

[Mrc.]

Wikipedia tells me that Gandalfr (from which his name is derived) basically means "Magic Elf". So it's kind of like if an Old Norse person played D&D and was really uncreative about naming his elf wizard.

I believe that in one of Wagner's operas there was a wise old figure named Gandalf that may have influenced Tolkein. Might be mis-remembering though

[Eldan]

I believe that in one of Wagner's operas there was a wise old figure named Gandalf that may have influenced Tolkein. Might be mis-remembering though

This one, probably. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gandalf_%28mythology%29) Note that despite the name "Magic Elf", he's a dwarf. Because the borders between elves and dwarves really aren't all that clear in Norse mythology. If Wagner has Gandalf as a character, he probably based it on those sagas.

[Ksheep]

This one, probably. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gandalf_%28mythology%29) Note that despite the name "Magic Elf", he's a dwarf. Because the borders between elves and dwarves really aren't all that clear in Norse mythology. If Wagner has Gandalf as a character, he probably based it on those sagas.

IIRC, it's not so much that the distinction between Elf and Dwarf was unclear in Norse and Germanic mythology, but rather that Elf was a classification for all supernatural human-like creatures, including Dwarves (and potentially Fairies, depending on your source). Then again, some sources say that Fairies were the higher-tier grouping, and that both Elf and Dwarf fall under the Fairy category. Not sure if there's any people that say "a Dwarf is a type of Elf which is a type of Fairy", however.

Then again, I may be mixing my mythologies again… and possibly adding a dash of modern media interpretations, further muddying the whole situation.

[Ralanr]

Pretty sure that wizards in Tolkien's universe are pretty much a separate species. Since they were angels given mortal form...or something, I don't know.

[Spore]

http://abload.de/img/26791491w2q0k.gif

[Arbane]

http://abload.de/img/26791491w2q0k.gif

Don't be silly. There's also alignment, female armor, and how a female character is holding her bow.

[Slipperychicken]

Don't be silly. There's also alignment, female armor, and how a female character is holding her bow.

http://i.imgur.com/yMGYGkx.jpg

[toapat]

o.O
ow, I guess some people really do take Skill Focus: Knowledge(Nature)!

incorrect, i have max cross class ranks in Know: Everything

[endoperez]

Anyway, I'm not sure how wizards using lightsabers makes any more sense, but I'll take the derivation as a compliment anyway! ^.^
Also it gave me an idea for a poster, so double-thanks![/spoiler]

There aren't many other types of "magic users who are not wizards" in non-D&D settings. I couldn't find anything similar to divine/arcane connection, so I had to get by with a Jedi/Wizard mix.

In hindsight, Bard would've worked as well.


http://i61.tinypic.com/14dgdq1.jpg

[Sith_Happens]

and how a female character is holding her bow.

I've never heard of this one being a thing, actually.


http://i.imgur.com/yMGYGkx.jpg

As far as I can tell, the bow is the only thing not noteworthy about that pose.:smallconfused:

[Arbane]

I've never heard of this one being a thing, actually.


Not on this forum, I guess. On another one I frequent, any pic of a woman with a bow results in three pages of nitpicking.

[Eldan]

Allow me to demonstrate:

Women do not have the upper body strength necessary to be good at archery. They can't fire proper English longbows.
Amazons cut off their breasts so they could fire bows. Clearly, busty women could never hold a bow right.
Women should fire ranged weapons instead of getting into close combat, where they couldn't keep up with men.


And so on.

[Spore]

Allow me to demonstrate:

Women do not have the upper body strength necessary to be good at archery. They can't fire proper English longbows.
Amazons cut off their breasts so they could fire bows. Clearly, busty women could never hold a bow right.
Women should fire ranged weapons instead of getting into close combat, where they couldn't keep up with men.


And so on.

You forgot:

"Her armor is so unpractical. It shows her weakspots."
"Her armor is so unpractical. How would you pull a bow with that sturdy armor?"

[NikitaDarkstar]

Considering where this is going this seems oddly fitting.

http://cdn.motinetwork.net/motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/1306/im-going-off-the-rails-crazy-train-ay-horror-demotivational-posters-1370831601.jpg

[toapat]

Considering where this is going this seems oddly fitting.

http://cdn.motinetwork.net/motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/1306/im-going-off-the-rails-crazy-train-ay-horror-demotivational-posters-1370831601.jpg

This thread has rails?

i thought it was a former river valley

[Astral Avenger]

This thread has rails?

i thought it was a former river valley

It has rails, but no one ever bothered actually fixing them to the ground to make them useful.

[Urpriest]

It has rails, but no one ever bothered actually fixing them to the ground to make them useful.

It's not so hard to do.

http://i.imgur.com/zB4xMLJ.jpgNew Crobuzon is China Mieville's setting. In Iron Council, a union takes over a railroad project and proceeds to run around the country, building rails in front of the train and removing them behind, spreading revolution.

[Time Blossom]

http://i62.tinypic.com/30wxa1f.jpg

For some context: that is the Derous Knife, from Toriko. It was forged by the world's greatest knife-maker, who lives on a mountain at the top of a flight of 20,000 stairs, all carved by hand by her predecessor. The blade is forged from the single remaining fang of a ten-thousand year old dragon who is said to have ruled the ancient world, alloyed with the broken blade of a simple, mundane knife that was cared for so deeply that all who beheld it said that it contained a piece of its owner's very soul. It was sharpened on a stone that is found only in one place: the deepest cavern in the known world, infested with monsters that are fearsome even by the standards of a setting whose main feature is fearsome monsters. When the blade was first finished, the maker tested its edge by flicking it through the air once; the sharpness of the blade carried through the air, cutting through the wall of her workshop and slicing the very mountain it stood on in half.

Komatsu, the owner, is a chef. He uses it as a kitchen knife.

... Can I just say thank you again to whoever it was that introduced me to that show?

[Mordokai]

@^ That sounds like the Mary Sue of knives :smalltongue:

[Forrestfire]

It also has a battle aura. Not its wielder, the knife :smallbiggrin:

[Ralanr]

Usually in the form of the dragon it belonged to.

Or that's just how other monsters see it. Either way it is a goddamn scary knife.

[Yora]

http://37.media.tumblr.com/5829206c687e5ff05ae3461474b232b1/tumblr_n5b6p1Jdz21rv231do1_r1_1280.jpg

https://31.media.tumblr.com/d09f3d0f6812c0e7b9702c4066e6b7a6/tumblr_mzbmzjBwYN1spx13co1_500.jpg

[OverdrivePrime]

https://31.media.tumblr.com/d09f3d0f6812c0e7b9702c4066e6b7a6/tumblr_mzbmzjBwYN1spx13co1_500.jpg

Especially in space! :smallcool:

Flash! A-ah! (http://youtu.be/MS4_Z84-rRE)

[Ksheep]

https://31.media.tumblr.com/d09f3d0f6812c0e7b9702c4066e6b7a6/tumblr_mzbmzjBwYN1spx13co1_500.jpg

"All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums." —Good Omens, by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett.

[Lentrax]

https://31.media.tumblr.com/d09f3d0f6812c0e7b9702c4066e6b7a6/tumblr_mzbmzjBwYN1spx13co1_500.jpg

http://marilynmonbro.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/bohemian-rhapsody.png

[Yora]

Good call!

[Time Blossom]

People need to stop introducing me to awesome things.
...Just kidding. ;)

http://i57.tinypic.com/16ibh4i.jpg

Though considering how many AoOs the deer got, I don't think he actually has that feat...

[Vknight]

People need to stop introducing me to awesome things.
...Just kidding. ;)

http://i57.tinypic.com/16ibh4i.jpg

Though considering how many AoOs the deer got, I don't think he actually has that feat...

The leash was obviously a failed handle animal
The peace offering was a simple failed diplomacy
and the last one was because that deer is a jerk

[Yora]

I'm sure somebody will have an idea for this:
http://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8179936512/hB8A6963C/

[endoperez]

Here's one bird-poster then.

http://i61.tinypic.com/f8fn5.jpg

Wrong species, maybe, but still close enough to be funny.

edit:spoiler-tag problem

[Cerlis]

I'm sure somebody will have an idea for this:
http://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8179936512/hB8A6963C/

something about non-human villains

Or Mouseguard

or both.

[Sith_Happens]

Here's one bird-poster then.

http://i61.tinypic.com/f8fn5.jpg

Wrong species, maybe, but still close enough to be funny.

edit:spoiler-tag problem

Could you link that non-cropped version of the image you found so I don't have to find it myself?

[endoperez]

Could you link that non-cropped version of the image you found so I don't have to find it myself?

It's actually the same image scaled bigger (Photoshop is magic (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFEBamdtdiI)these days), but sure.

http://i59.tinypic.com/2hrfugy.png

[Spore]

http://abload.de/img/unbenanntt4jfk.png

[Pink]

Hey look, I actually made something for the thread!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v247/pink_lugia/imagejpg1_zps436a857a.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/pink_lugia/media/imagejpg1_zps436a857a.jpg.html)

[Stone Heart]

incorrect, i have max cross class ranks in Know: Everything

I don't know how you managed to fumble a skill check. The Magikarp in the poster is using Sheer cold, the event pokemon you are referring to does not get sheer cold, nor can Magikarp learn it. Thats a hacked pokemon.

[Arkhosia]

Here's some Demotivator Tax!
All Attack on Titan.
http://i.imgur.com/VvNcKZj.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/07P2yau.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/fPhlRW9.jpg

[Thialfi]

Especially in space! :smallcool:

Flash! A-ah! (http://youtu.be/MS4_Z84-rRE)


The only problem is that song belongs among Queen's greatest hits even less than Radio Ga Ga.

[BWR]

The only problem is that song belongs among Queen's greatest hits even less than Radio Ga Ga.

Radio Ga-ga is the only Queen song that's any good. Everything else is meh at best.

[OverdrivePrime]

The only problem is that song belongs among Queen's greatest hits even less than Radio Ga Ga.


Radio Ga-ga is the only Queen song that's any good. Everything else is meh at best.

I... I'm not sure which of you to challenge to a duel first. :smallconfused:

http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w219/mwellenstein/TruelIsAStuipidWord_zpsbdf1fdcf.jpg

[Yora]

https://31.media.tumblr.com/655a75e5a5ef798b66fb9a1ff21ecdac/tumblr_n5fixgZGf51rv231do1_1280.jpg

[endoperez]

https://31.media.tumblr.com/655a75e5a5ef798b66fb9a1ff21ecdac/tumblr_n5fixgZGf51rv231do1_1280.jpg

Sorry to burst your bubble, but...

Wikipedia claims Githyanki were created by George R. R. Martin, they were mentioned in novel where they were psionic slaves of an alien race that had been defeated in the past. That story was published in 1977, the year Charles Stross turned 13, but they weren't published until 1979.

[Morph Bark]

I... I'm not sure which of you to challenge to a duel first. :smallconfused:

http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w219/mwellenstein/TruelIsAStuipidWord_zpsbdf1fdcf.jpg

Since duel comes from duo/due, wouldn't a three-way fight of that sort be a triel?

[huttj509]

Since duel comes from duo/due, wouldn't a three-way fight of that sort be a triel?

A triel for 2 counts of manslaughter?

[OverdrivePrime]

Since duel comes from duo/due, wouldn't a three-way fight of that sort be a triel?

Do you really want to argue with the authority of the Internet? http://www.wordsense.eu/truel/ :smallconfused:

[BWR]

Sorry to burst your bubble, but...

Wikipedia claims Githyanki were created by George R. R. Martin, they were mentioned in novel where they were psionic slaves of an alien race that had been defeated in the past. That story was published in 1977, the year Charles Stross turned 13, but they weren't published until 1979.

Slight correction: the name was taken from GRRM, the psychic slave to the illithid thing was taken from Larry Niven. (http://www.sevendead.com/workspace-collection/charles-stross-interview/)

So D&D githyanki (and githzerai and death knights and slaadi) were created by Stross. No one claimed he didn't steal the name and the basic concept from somewhere else. This is quite common in D&D.

[Andezzar]

What? Tolkien Gygax did not invent elves, dragons and dwarves etc.?

[Sith_Happens]

http://i57.tinypic.com/2rcbn08.jpg

[Thialfi]

I... I'm not sure which of you to challenge to a duel first. :smallconfused:

http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w219/mwellenstein/TruelIsAStuipidWord_zpsbdf1fdcf.jpg

Would it make it worse if I said I thought the best Queen song was actually a duet with David Bowie?

And here I thought the whole mind flayer githyanki/githzerai thing was something new and unique to D&D. I guess everything comes from somewhere else.

[J-H]

Well, the names for Illithid and the Gith races aren't from Niven, but I can definitely see the origin of the idea now that it's been pointed out. The Illithid, at least, were more competent.

Niven's Slaves (Thrintun) were stupid. Like IQ 80 (near what we'd call retarded if I recall the scale) stupid. That said, when you can mind control the first species that lands on your planet in a spaceship... Smart is what slaves are for. Too bad (for them) that the Tnuctipun were smarter and eventually were able to figure out ways to block the Slavers' mental commands.

After a long, drawn-out war that the Slavers started to lose, they decided that if they couldn't have the galaxy, nobody could. They'd always had psychic amplifiers; they built one large enough to blanket the galaxy (or enough of it to cover all of Known Space and anyone else who'd have been able to reach it tens to hundreds of thousands of years later). One psychic command, broadcast to everyone (including their own species), and irresistably powerful:

Die.


This is all backstory for the "modern" era (ca 2100-3100) so I don't think it qualifies as spoilers.

[Braininthejar2]

I haven't posted in some time

http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l309/braininthejar/Highlevelshanks.jpg

[Morph Bark]

Do you really want to argue with the authority of the Internet? http://www.wordsense.eu/truel/ :smallconfused:

Always argue with authority.

[alanek2002]

Unless Authority is a spider.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_akLHpeO7qyA/S_wzuDqdfcI/AAAAAAAAA5g/cwdgK_VKOWk/s1600/motivational+demotivator+(57).jpg

[Mono Vertigo]

Today, I have learnt I have abysmal Wisdom, for I, being arachnophobic, read the post, fully expected the spoiler to contain at least one horrible spider, and yet, opened the damn thing.

Related demotivator:
http://i.imgur.com/WEsPuFi.jpg

[Spore]

Today, I have learnt I have abysmal Wisdom, for I, being arachnophobic, read the post, fully expected the spoiler to contain at least one horrible spider, and yet, opened the damn thing.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_akLHpeO7qyA/S_qFK4esDKI/AAAAAAAAAzQ/hroZSpG1fNo/s1600/motivational%2Bdemotivator%2B(7).jpg

[Doorhandle]

Since duel comes from duo/due, wouldn't a three-way fight of that sort be a triel?

Would two duels be enough? I'm willing to challenge them too at this point.

[Time Blossom]

This always seems to happen when I'm building higher-level characters and have a lot of wealth to throw around:

http://i59.tinypic.com/jtvx1l.jpg

"Oh hey, I can use the prestidigitation tattoo to make these ten thousand rations I'm carrying around super tasty!"
--My Brain

[Arbane]

This always seems to happen when I'm building higher-level characters and have a lot of wealth to throw around:

http://i59.tinypic.com/jtvx1l.jpg

"Oh hey, I can use the prestidigitation tattoo to make these ten thousand rations I'm carrying around super tasty!"
--My Brain

I'm slightly more weirded out by the "Masterwork taxidermist's tools".

[Lord Raziere]

This always seems to happen when I'm building higher-level characters and have a lot of wealth to throw around:


Hey man, you never know when the DM is going to throw you into a foreign plane and make you travel around without any other sources of food, or heaven forbid, kick you into a "your all lost" survival plot and start keeping track of the food and supplies you have. you say that will never happen, but starvation and thirst are perfectly viable ways to die, especially when your at higher levels and you start becoming too badass to JUST be challenged by powerful monsters and ridiculous traps. that guy is just being well-prepared for a very real in-universe possibility.

as for the taxidermists tools, what, you never thought about cutting off a dragon's head, stuffing it, putting it on a plaque and mounting it on the wall in your adventurer mansion as a trophy? you gotta save SOMETHING to show people your great deeds after you retire as an adventurer. I mean, hall of trophies are good conversation starters, and it lets people behold you and all that you accomplished in awe better, why wouldn't you do it?

[Andezzar]

Hey man, you never know when the DM is going to throw you into a foreign plane and make you travel around without any other sources of food, or heaven forbid, kick you into a "your all lost" survival plot and start keeping track of the food and supplies you have. you say that will never happen, but starvation and thirst are perfectly viable ways to die, especially when your at higher levels and you start becoming too badass to JUST be challenged by powerful monsters and ridiculous traps. that guy is just being well-prepared for a very real in-universe possibility.Food, drink and shelter should all be covered by the Survival Pouch.

[Svata]

Or you know, Goodberry, Create Food and Water, or Hero's Feast,

[Lord Raziere]

There is such a thing as multiple redundancy back up systems y'know. space ships use or will use them because you probably can't repair things well out in space, not a lot of materials around. similarly, when your exploring the planes, which your very likely to do at high levels, there is always the possibility of losing one of those systems, and since you can't just pop over and get a new one, any backups you have to take with you when you start out on the trip. again, its just good sense.

[Manly Man]

Would it make it worse if I said I thought the best Queen song was actually a duet with David Bowie?

No, as a matter of fact. You have an opinion, and I can respect that, even if it's wrong.

It's definitely one of their best, though, and I am utterly baffled that they even managed to record the song instead of the studio bursting into fiery rainbows from both Freddie Mercury and David Bowie singing in the same building. It's probably why they recorded so much of the vocals separately, the structural integrity of the building couldn't handle that much awesome.

EDIT: I was going to try and work in an epic-level Bard joke, but I couldn't squeeze it in without being forced and unfunny.

[Time Blossom]

I'm slightly more weirded out by the "Masterwork taxidermist's tools".I had my reasons (http://dndtools.eu/feats/players-handbook-ii--80/trophy-collector--2973/)!

And then I abandoned my reasons when I figured I could still do all the same creepy and awesome things without taking a feat for it. :smallcool:

I'll bet you thought that dragon was alive. Nope! Just Chuck Testa.


There is such a thing as multiple redundancy back up systems y'know.I appreciate the effort, but yeah, not really justifiable on my end. I was just hungry. :smalltongue:
It was a very mundane Forgotten Realms game, no plans for planeshifting shenanigans so far as I'm aware (it never seems to have taken off, alas).

All the same:
Or you know, Goodberry, Create Food and Water, or Hero's Feast,I do take minor issue with assuming the presence of casters. Not every party has those, guys! And Master Craftsman means you don't need 'em for crafting either!
But I also was looking into once-a-day Hero's Feast items, so I can't say much. :smalltongue:

Anyway, my ticket for the post train:
http://i60.tinypic.com/2wdzorp.jpg

I wonder if there's a way to substitute Knowledge(Religion) for Intimidate under the proper circumstances. :smalltongue:

[GPuzzle]

No, as a matter of fact. You have an opinion, and I can respect that, even if it's wrong.

It's definitely one of their best, though, and I am utterly baffled that they even managed to record the song instead of the studio bursting into fiery rainbows from both Freddie Mercury and David Bowie singing in the same building. It's probably why they recorded so much of the vocals separately, the structural integrity of the building couldn't handle that much awesome.

EDIT: I was going to try and work in an epic-level Bard joke, but I couldn't squeeze it in without being forced and unfunny.

And I feel sad that nearly no one knows Breakthru.

[Spore]

I will never learn, will I?
http://abload.de/img/465359808klsa.gif

[Sith_Happens]

But I also was looking into once-a-day Hero's Feast items, so I can't say much. :smalltongue:

Horn of Plenty, 12000 gp, Magic Item Compendium page 162. You're welcome.:smallwink:

[Yora]

https://31.media.tumblr.com/2fc4f7e274c6b181d7a15127532ee0c3/tumblr_n5makiZLgi1rv231do1_1280.jpg

[Andezzar]

Interesting, what is it? It looks somewhat like a crab but it seems to be in a forest.

[Ksheep]

Interesting, what is it? It looks somewhat like a crab but it seems to be in a forest.

It appears to be a Coconut Crab (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coconut_crab), which are known to venture inland, climb trees, and eat fruits and nuts (including coconut, hence it's name).

[Yora]

Many beaches are right next to forests:
http://cdn2.arkive.org/media/DE/DEDF4C6B-E5CF-47C8-BBA1-39AA06F0D4B3/Presentation.Large/Snares-crested-penguin-colony-deep-in-forest.jpg

Feel free to add some "Random Encounter" line to this.

[No brains]

https://31.media.tumblr.com/2fc4f7e274c6b181d7a15127532ee0c3/tumblr_n5makiZLgi1rv231do1_1280.jpg

Good one. There is an image of a coconut crab climbing a trashcan that fits your description perfectly.

[Mordokai]

Good one. There is an image of a coconut crab climbing a trashcan that fits your description perfectly.

You mean this?

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/4275847168/h6E7102F7/

[endoperez]

http://i57.tinypic.com/2u8gmq0.jpg

http://i57.tinypic.com/zvoa9t.jpg

[Yora]

Do you have the source for the rabbits? I have the snails on my monster gallery, but can't remember where I've seen the murderous rabbits.

[Spore]

I like those tome demotivators. I will look forward to seeing more and will also see into creating some. There is some weird stuff in those books.

[endoperez]

http://derpyeahmiddleages.tumblr.com/post/81700869896/villagenerd-apparently-medieval-rabbits-were

Here's some deadly rabbits, and the whole Tumblr channel could be used to mine more "weird tome" motivators. There's a good one right there on the front page - on the background a sheep and a woman are getting married, and on the foreground, a man is covering his ear with a finger since an angel is using a horn to make sure he realizes what a happy occassion this is.

[A Tad Insane]

So I was reading some tf2 comics when I cam across possibly the greatest single page ever illustrated.


http://i1317.photobucket.com/albums/t640/Bannana_King/playercharacters_zps6ef3f80e.jpg

[Mordokai]

A link to the comic would be appreciated :smallsmile:

[A Tad Insane]

http://www.teamfortress.com/tf03_cold_day_in_hell/ This is the specific comic, which is part of an arc beginning with this http://www.teamfortress.com/tf01_ring_of_fired/

[GPuzzle]

The TF2 comics are AWESOME.

Besides, that demotivator makes so much sense.

[Mordokai]

http://www.teamfortress.com/tf03_cold_day_in_hell/ This is the specific comic, which is part of an arc beginning with this http://www.teamfortress.com/tf01_ring_of_fired/

Thank you :smallsmile:

[Spore]

http://abload.de/img/48868042m0jml.gif

[jamieth]

http://i1357.photobucket.com/albums/q757/jamieth96/automotivator_zps337fb434.jpg

[Erik Vale]

Bahk?
white noise

[No brains]

Bahk?
white noise

What if it's a misspelling not of 'bank' but of 'bagh'? TIGER ROBBERS! That's intimidating whether the tigers are the robbers or the robbed!:smalltongue:

[A Tad Insane]

What if it's a misspelling not of 'bank' but of 'bagh'? TIGER ROBBERS! That's intimidating whether the tigers are the robbers or the robbed!:smalltongue:
Why not both? Tigers who rob other tigers.

[Ksheep]

Have we run out of things to make posters out of? This place has been awfully quite, poster-wise, as of late. Anyway, here's something to try to start things back up.

http://i.imgur.com/tnkIieS.jpg

[Arkhosia]

http://i.imgur.com/tJe3kBk.jpg
Make me a demotivator with this!

[Necroticplague]

http://i.imgur.com/tJe3kBk.jpg
Make me a demotivator with this!

Magic Items

The tragic side effect of most of them being designed for dungeon crawls.

[Pink]

http://i.imgur.com/tJe3kBk.jpg
Make me a demotivator with this!

Is there a larger version? that's pretty small for a demotivator and a little tricky to read.

[Doorhandle]

Have we run out of things to make posters out of? This place has been awfully quite, poster-wise, as of late. Anyway, here's something to try to start things back up.

http://i.imgur.com/tnkIieS.jpg

No demotivator-source lasts forever.

[Admiral Harkov]

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y52/mbest/Motivational/vlcsnap-2014-05-09-21h43m05s141.png

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y52/mbest/Motivational/vlcsnap-2014-05-09-21h54m30s45.png

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y52/mbest/Motivational/vlcsnap-2014-05-12-00h12m55s45.png
And postdict the past?

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y52/mbest/Motivational/vlcsnap-2014-05-12-01h47m35s8.png
Meh, probably not the best wording

[No brains]

This first one isn't mine, and isn't exactly D&D, but I can bet some characters can relate to this situation:https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7434656256/hD0BB502A/
Credit to xyzpdq1 who posted this to cheezburger

The next one is a gif that with a little modification could be the ultimate expression of the DM's power over even the highest op strategies.https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8159890944/h28B84E88/
What we need is a build-up of Mr. Bubbles describing his super-op strategy for his character as his sunglasses fall from heaven onto his face a-la "Deal With It". Then we need to label him as "PC" and Stitch as "DM" as he throws a book and denies his godly power.:smalltongue:

Edit: I almost forgot this one! Remember: You're allowed to say any stupid thing you want here, just as long as you back it up with posters! http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/143/7/8/automotivator_by_the_vile_cortex-d7jh011.jpg

[golentan]

Here is one, will make more, hopefully it is found as being funny:



http://i.imgur.com/kNvJm3f.jpg



I never liked the idea of a chosen one. I always liked the idea that the person who shows up for the job chooses themselves.

http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/143/0/2/unchosen_one_by_golentan-d7jhirc.jpg

[alanek2002]

Source on the "unchosen one" Demotivator?

[golentan]

Grandia. Justin, the guy on the right, is most emphatically not the chosen one (there are two of them and they are major characters) and saves the world more thoroughly than they could have.

[Leviting]

Long overdue, super underpaid lurker tax
http://i1373.photobucket.com/albums/ag381/spacenoah/automotivator-theparty_zps8fef4b80.jpg

[Spore]

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y52/mbest/Motivational/vlcsnap-2014-05-09-21h43m05s141.png

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y52/mbest/Motivational/vlcsnap-2014-05-09-21h54m30s45.png

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y52/mbest/Motivational/vlcsnap-2014-05-12-00h12m55s45.png
And postdict the past?

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y52/mbest/Motivational/vlcsnap-2014-05-12-01h47m35s8.png
Meh, probably not the best wording

Qi Gon was a grey jedi and the definition of Lawful Neutral (since imho Jedis are monks).

[Yora]

https://24.media.tumblr.com/fe8839115acc5a2bad5e2f20494cabae/tumblr_n6555trI9k1rv231do1_500.png

[Ralanr]

https://24.media.tumblr.com/fe8839115acc5a2bad5e2f20494cabae/tumblr_n6555trI9k1rv231do1_500.png

Such a funny thing this alignment. As if we really need to question the morals of four to five sociapaths who answer most problems with murder, violence, fire, or a combination of the three.

[No brains]

Such a funny thing this alignment. As if we really need to question the morals of four to five sociapaths who answer most problems with murder, violence, fire, or a combination of the three.

NO! If you can't argue in a poster, don't derail us into an alignment discussion! If you argue by means of a demotivational poster, then we still manage to parallel-rail the thread.

HAY! NEW CONTEST! Parallel-rail the thread into an align-gument!

[JackOfAllBuilds]

That last post inspired me. Or someone can fix up the verbiage a bit and photoshop the helltrain face on the front
http://i.imgur.com/fyVD7ka.jpg?1

[Eldan]

I'd say it's lawful evil. After all, you are technically doing what the thread is supposed to do, while still derailing it. Like this:

http://i.imgur.com/O2ViQIu.jpg

[Doorhandle]

Such a funny thing this alignment. As if we really need to question the morals of four to five sociapaths who answer most problems with murder, violence, fire, or a combination of the three.

Of course not!

Those monsters started it, and have committed crimes they are bring brought to justice for! Taking the stuff they own isn't theft, it's RECYCLING!


Not sure how sarcastic that was to be honest...

will provide mots later.

edit: LATER IS NOW!



http://s25.postimg.org/kdx5ou7an/motivator06677a4d026a18272922e4e55b0dc77dd5071bf.j pg

http://s25.postimg.org/l7563pnxr/motivator1a089e856daa644ddb19fca37097caf0c3203d7.j pg

http://s25.postimg.org/tfbp2g57z/motivator3bc525e518e82d5ccccda1b5da1d5da47e8a6df.j pg

http://s25.postimg.org/9jb495ysv/motivator6c70b3145cf14e02f5a7418b3079f05a2c4ed63.j pg
Truth to be told, there' a few ways classes which aren't monks/swordsages can benefit from this...

http://s25.postimg.org/6zfhf2b8v/motivator46f80622421624a2e8861e2e21b9df7d4b65b07.j pg

http://s25.postimg.org/4gtsedpin/motivator41c5b5b26986e413071bb8be38d3f064beb43b4.j pg
I tried to avoid exact class pictures but I had trouble finding a better one.

http://s25.postimg.org/4om0ompv3/motivator64f49454a1fec23050789f7beff0bf9c13c79ac.j pg

http://s25.postimg.org/jjam2szfz/motivator93ed6c569e142e87d0f04cee50ad22bcbb740b7.j pg

http://s25.postimg.org/k2fpc2qun/motivator32692c30a7f71ca8b2bc41a54527e3400eca0b3.j pg
Tell me If this one is too NSFW

http://s25.postimg.org/rrcjnsrcf/motivator33396a78307b44895f72dc25f00581f1f53b4f9.j pg

http://s25.postimg.org/cayzdimpb/motivator35501d003b9bc0ecd532a405b510920b9767aed.j pg

http://s25.postimg.org/lwsjttdv3/motivator57855f03e56d04b4f2d00903a3049807a03959f.j pg

http://s25.postimg.org/7ldn2nl2n/motivator913086e1a2889390fa9fc301350c2373f7ec4c7.j pg

http://s25.postimg.org/z4wj0i0rz/motivator34431640c6fbc3f3d7a3c1539e3807f2aab46b2.j pg
Again, pretty useful if you know how to optimise it.

http://s25.postimg.org/xr4w571in/motivatorb8c8b2fe1bdf2086ed9e37c9ebaf8c5acc5b03a.j pg

http://s25.postimg.org/grvxpxqb3/motivatorb87b82e6588b7d63cfe657e7f40ffee0d33b539.j pg

http://s25.postimg.org/4yy4lptv3/motivatorb22904c923af8acbe694087ff1b080b1d48007d.j pg

http://s25.postimg.org/5jd5oen3j/motivatorb708803bd1332bc2812725f188cbfb535bd0a66.j pg

http://s25.postimg.org/9h0fdt9wv/motivatorfd3462df97d8b9440107cd20db190f997cc950d.j pg

[Time Blossom]

HAY! NEW CONTEST! Parallel-rail the thread into an align-gument!
Am I doing it right?

http://i62.tinypic.com/r2m5qc.jpg

[Erik Vale]

That is...
Well. It works.

[Ralanr]

That last post inspired me. Or someone can fix up the verbiage a bit and photoshop the helltrain face on the front
http://i.imgur.com/fyVD7ka.jpg?1

Where is that from?

[Hiro Protagonest]

http://s25.postimg.org/lwsjttdv3/motivator57855f03e56d04b4f2d00903a3049807a03959f.j pg

...I don't understand what's going on in this picture.

[Forrestfire]

Ed's studying, and Ling/Lan Fan/Fu are ambushing him I think.

[Radar]

Where is that from?
It's from a very short manga called Densha de D. It's fun, crazy and all about serious buisness. :smalltongue:

[Slipperychicken]

Ed's studying, and Ling/Lan Fan/Fu are ambushing him I think.

Yeah, it looks like Ed is being portrayed as a wizard, and the assassins are going to jump him while he's preparing spells. It seems to be an allusion to the fact that Wizards in D&D (and their all-important spellbooks) are often vulnerable while the Wizard prepares his spells for the day, since wizards typically don't have all their spells available to them at that time, usually don't have their buffs up yet, and need to spend a full hour totally focused on their spellbooks.

http://i.imgur.com/AXmT1UW.jpg

[No brains]

It worked! I saved the thread! I even have more fuel for the engine!

Sometimes a Lawful Good idea has Chaotic Evil consequences.
http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/147/1/0/automotivator_by_the_vile_cortex-d7jygya.jpg

[Sith_Happens]

http://s25.postimg.org/4om0ompv3/motivator64f49454a1fec23050789f7beff0bf9c13c79ac.j pg

Wow, that's one of the funniest ones in at least the last few pages.


http://s25.postimg.org/jjam2szfz/motivator93ed6c569e142e87d0f04cee50ad22bcbb740b7.j pg

That aggravating feeling when you're this close to recognizing a silhouette.:smallannoyed:


http://s25.postimg.org/rrcjnsrcf/motivator33396a78307b44895f72dc25f00581f1f53b4f9.j pg

VITA!

That is all.


http://i.imgur.com/AXmT1UW.jpg

Jokes: The one subject on which the Joker can be considered a voice of reason. Some of the time.


Sometimes a Lawful Good idea has Chaotic Evil consequences.
http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/147/1/0/automotivator_by_the_vile_cortex-d7jygya.jpg

You know, whenever I hear "swords to plowshares" the only thing I can think of is one of the best removal spells to ever grace Magic: The Gathering, which sort of ruins the original intent/context of the phrase.

[Doorhandle]

Yeah, it looks like Ed is being portrayed as a wizard, and the assassins are going to jump him while he's preparing spells. It seems to be an allusion to the fact that Wizards in D&D (and their all-important spellbooks) are often vulnerable while the Wizard prepares his spells for the day, since wizards typically don't have all their spells available to them at that time, usually don't have their buffs up yet, and need to spend a full hour totally focused on their spellbooks.

http://i.imgur.com/AXmT1UW.jpg

Basically yes. Although the term applies to any time a wizard isn't paying proper attention. It was VERY hard finding a good picture of an assassin joke, let alone one without assassin's creed in it. Ignore that Mustang it as much the "wizard" as Ed there...



That aggravating feeling when you're this close to recognizing a silhouette...

Not sure if it IS of any specific character, really. Sauce is here. (http://www.deviantart.com/art/Loom-loom-looooom-25631694)

And thanks for the complement. Good to know I haven't ENTIRELY lost my touch at this.

[Erik Vale]

Sauce is here.
*Looks for the Sauce*
Aww. I want some sauce now.

[Sith_Happens]

Not sure if it IS of any specific character, really. Sauce is here. (http://www.deviantart.com/art/Loom-loom-looooom-25631694)

Gah, it reminds me of something, but I don't know what and I'm so close to knowing what that it's driving me CRAZY.

http://x2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/I+would+give+anything+to+be+a+poking+stick+right+_ 7ba6abb2556bca5c9ec93bd89dd7f076.gif

[Necroticplague]

You know, whenever I hear "swords to plowshares" the only thing I can think of is one of the best removal spells to ever grace Magic: The Gathering, which sort of ruins the original intent/context of the phrase.

Same here. I imagine the context that makes it worse would be against a "survival of the fittest" deck?

[Yora]

Gah, it reminds me of something, but I don't know what and I'm so close to knowing what that it's driving me CRAZY.

http://x2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/I+would+give+anything+to+be+a+poking+stick+right+_ 7ba6abb2556bca5c9ec93bd89dd7f076.gif

Prince of Persia? (http://www.cgchannel.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Prince_Of_Persia.jpg)

[Lord Raziere]

*Looks for the Sauce*
Aww. I want some sauce now.

:smallconfused: Don't you mean source? are you misspelling it?

[Andezzar]

Yes, he means source. That's ridiculous internet speak.

[Lord Raziere]

Then why doesn't he just say source?

[Forrestfire]

Because it's ridiculous internet speak. It's used for the same reason as any other slang.

[Fable Wright]

Gah, it reminds me of something, but I don't know what and I'm so close to knowing what that it's driving me CRAZY.

It reminds me of one or two of the RWBY characters. Maybe that's it?

[jaybird]

http://i.imgur.com/4CX78UK.jpg

[ChaosArchon]

http://i.imgur.com/sqtx9Px.jpg

Long overdue lurker tax, 1st try so if its done before and/or is bad sorry :smalleek:

[Doorhandle]

http://i.imgur.com/4CX78UK.jpg

...aaaaaaaand now I can't see this archetype any other way.


Then why doesn't he just say source?

Because it's a pun.

[holywhippet]

Gah, it reminds me of something, but I don't know what and I'm so close to knowing what that it's driving me CRAZY.

http://x2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/I+would+give+anything+to+be+a+poking+stick+right+_ 7ba6abb2556bca5c9ec93bd89dd7f076.gif

Kind of reminds me of the Persona games. Maybe Aigis from the 3rd one or Chie from the fourth.

[Lord Raziere]

Because it's a pun.

But why doesn't he just say source? why does he need to make a stupid pun?

[GPuzzle]

But why doesn't he just say source? why does he need to make a stupid pun?

It's modern internet subculture, it's based around bad jokes and completely wrong assumptions.

[Forrestfire]

But why doesn't he just say source? why does he need to make a stupid pun?

Because, as I said, it's a slang term.


Slang is usually associated with a particular group and plays a role in constructing our identities. While slang outlines social space, attitudes about slang partly construct group identity and identify individuals as members of groups. Therefore, using the slang of a particular group will associate an individual with that group.

I won't pretend to understand the intricacies of the human mind and why we use the language we do, but I'd venture a guess that "sauce" is used because it's an amusingly stupid pun that immediately shows the reader that you're part of the same (or different, in this case) subculture as them.

Also for fun. It's an amusingly stupid pun.

[Sith_Happens]

Prince of Persia? (http://www.cgchannel.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Prince_Of_Persia.jpg)


It reminds me of one or two of the RWBY characters. Maybe that's it?


Kind of reminds me of the Persona games. Maybe Aigis from the 3rd one or Chie from the fourth.

No, definitely someone from an anime. I want to say someone from Nanoha, but I can't actually think of anyone that's an immediate match. The head is also kind of Sayaka Miki to me.

...Actually, Seto Kaiba has those same buckles or whatever on his outfit from Battle City onwards. As I'm sure do a lot of other characters, but he's the first one I thought of. The hair is more Noah though.

...AH, now I can't stop seeing it as a Rule 63 Noah. Make it stop!:smalleek:

[Erik Vale]

:smallconfused: Don't you mean source? are you misspelling it?

... :smallconfused:
If you look up, you'll note that I'm pointing out his misspelling.
:smallsigh:

[Amidus Drexel]

Here is the sauce of 'sauce'. (http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/sauce)

[Time Blossom]

I think any confusion on sauce has long since been alleviated. Everything past the first exchange was just the human attraction to complaining about things based on the idea that opinions and objective truths somehow correlate. Only instead of pretending that alignment matters, this time around we're pretending that slang and language aren't the same thing.

I love you guys. <3

http://i60.tinypic.com/2ymiwzq.jpg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSAp991JIVs)

[endoperez]

But why doesn't he just say source? why does he need to make a stupid pun?

For the same reason he doesn't just say "ORIGIN". The meaning is more or less identical, but the specific usage has different connotations.

[Noedig]

I'm going to start doing 'ORIGIN?!' instead of 'sauce?' now. Thank you.

[hewhosaysfish]

I'm going to start doing 'ORIGIN?!' instead of 'sauce?' now. Thank you.

ORANGES?!
character limit

[Time Blossom]

POSTERS?!

:smallwink:

http://i57.tinypic.com/24vv4aq.jpg

[No brains]

Ha! I just won this thread!

PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM!
http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/151/b/c/automotivator_by_the_vile_cortex-d7ki8sa.jpg

There may be better ways to caption it, so have fun with the source image!

http://www.wesh.com/image/view/-/26247910/medRes/2/-/maxh/358/maxw/538/-/n2p6hb/-/Best-shot---bear-lies-down-in-hammock-jpg.jpg

[Slipperychicken]

http://i.imgur.com/aCWkmjN.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/swZYHpD.jpg

If only someone was willing and able to photoshop this bear (or a similar one) onto the iron throne.

[Tam_OConnor]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/872fbfd2ce585571ecfdde4b5528f3d4/tumblr_n6gqgn8NLX1sjpc07o1_1280.jpg
http://24.media.tumblr.com/ae83a6331885a523ef7d3b8f610d9c8a/tumblr_n6gqgn8NLX1sjpc07o2_1280.jpg
http://24.media.tumblr.com/ecb9a5fff312437f969841f55bf26ca3/tumblr_n6gqgn8NLX1sjpc07o3_1280.jpg
http://24.media.tumblr.com/3cd317202f48a1c494c17df59ebf2439/tumblr_n6gqgn8NLX1sjpc07o4_1280.jpg
(Gaige art by OldWillowJP. Korra art by KYHU.)

[Leviting]

Here's one I made
http://i1373.photobucket.com/albums/ag381/spacenoah/dragon_magick_by_mrzarono-d51rxhs_zps6dc84a06.jpg

Image found on Deviantart (http://mrzarono.deviantart.com/art/Dragon-Magick-305313616)

[Yora]

http://i57.tinypic.com/2u8gmq0.jpg

http://i57.tinypic.com/zvoa9t.jpg


I raise you this:
https://24.media.tumblr.com/ba1a7652eb4add33f997da7cfc8173ac/tumblr_n0a46d25iI1sqpox8o4_500.jpg

[Sith_Happens]

Ha! I just won this thread!

Sorry, thread's already been won:


http://i60.tinypic.com/2ymiwzq.jpg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSAp991JIVs)

[GPuzzle]

The more I hear Satsuki speaking, the more I want to punch her in the face.

[Ninjaxenomorph]

She's the best kind of Lawful Evil!

The kind the heroes have to team up with against the CE world-eating alien menace! Aaaand who gets redeemed.

[No brains]

Sorry, thread's already been won:

Are you kidding me? The bear is completely naked. Even without anime boobs, it's always worth more points when one is Totally Bear.:smallamused:

http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/152/f/c/automotivator_by_the_vile_cortex-d7kpg8j.jpg

[Doorhandle]

Are you kidding me? The bear is completely naked. Even without anime boobs, it's always worth more points when one is Totally Bear.:smallamused:

http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/152/f/c/automotivator_by_the_vile_cortex-d7kpg8j.jpg

Now it is ON.


http://s25.postimg.org/z873ikrcf/motivatore313176831ca33d0ae31b80fbfa88f6968cd93c.j pg



and 2 more for good measure.



http://s25.postimg.org/epc7didf3/motivatorcdd04e1e711ee9bfb3a8bc0c1615d5f477153b8.j pg

http://s25.postimg.org/ri0bdfp0v/motivator1671411877b728df89752e7e9952d8154f420f6.j pg

[Yora]

Doorhandle, I've been thinking this for years: Why don't you ever fix your avatar? :smallamused:

[JHShadon]

Doorhandle, I've been thinking this for years: Why don't you ever fix your avatar? :smallamused:

I've also been wondering about that.

[Noedig]

Prolly because it's an Angry Marine making a rude gesture.

[John_Mandrake]

A bit of lurking tax...

http://olivergrayson.com/stuff/46436650.jpg

[Sith_Happens]

The more I hear Satsuki speaking, the more I want to punch her in the face.

Just wait until you meet her mother.

[GPuzzle]

Just wait until you meet her mother.

Meet her already, will watch Episode 17 within a few days.

Her mother is downright insane, while Nui has her own personal uncanny valley. Satsuki's just VERY annoying, though.

[Yora]

A bit of lurking tax...

http://olivergrayson.com/stuff/46436650.jpg

The Force is strong with this one.

[Vknight]

The Force is strong with this one.

We must turn him too the dark side he'd make a powerful ally. Yes another dark jedi

[ChaosArchon]

We must turn him too the dark side he'd make a powerful ally. Yes another dark jedi

He will join us or die! We got Deathstar

[alanek2002]

Not yet you don't. The budget fell a Tad short.
http://furiousfanboys.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/633529490045670569-HomelessSithLord.jpg

[Lentrax]

Not yet you don't. The budget fell a Tad short.
http://furiousfanboys.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/633529490045670569-HomelessSithLord.jpg

I guess that means the bank didn't give him the loan for the sports bar.

[Noedig]

I guess that means the bank didn't give him the loan for the sports bar.

+1 for reminding me of depressed Vader.

[Doorhandle]

Doorhandle, I've been thinking this for years: Why don't you ever fix your avatar? :smallamused:

Because laziness.

[Ksheep]

Less banter, more posters

http://i.imgur.com/a0SabjK.jpg

[Taet]

I made a happy motivator instead. :smallredface:

https://31.media.tumblr.com/c8a0f1b8b7a47c51cd0f41ea923f389f/tumblr_n6tfewo0GR1t1xni5o1_500.jpg
https://24.media.tumblr.com/c87d0692eaadbf5888127e951b92f33d/tumblr_n6tfewo0GR1t1xni5o2_500.jpg

[KitTheOdd]

Less banter, more posters

http://i.imgur.com/a0SabjK.jpg

Brian Jacques knew, oh yes, he knew. :smallsmile:

[Ralanr]

I made a happy motivator instead. :smallredface:

https://31.media.tumblr.com/c8a0f1b8b7a47c51cd0f41ea923f389f/tumblr_n6tfewo0GR1t1xni5o1_500.jpg
https://24.media.tumblr.com/c87d0692eaadbf5888127e951b92f33d/tumblr_n6tfewo0GR1t1xni5o2_500.jpg

Sorry to ask but where is that from?

[Forrestfire]

Google says Mizukami Satoshi Tanpenshuu, which looks like a series of self-contained stories by the same person who did The Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer.

I'm gonna have to read that.

[Yora]

http://31.media.tumblr.com/b7a860f14d68f02694728acc217b42ec/tumblr_n6vblfEHAv1rv231do1_1280.jpg

http://24.media.tumblr.com/486287774c343dceb0fd7bf87ccb0676/tumblr_n6vbzhB0051rv231do1_1280.jpg

As a longtime 3rd edtion player this suprised me, but the fighter in our current AS&SH group is a total beast who tears through everything, making the other 4 party members mere spectators.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/64fa7fb920d975a57099ca3617ab16be/tumblr_n3rcrlrj021rqxd5ko1_1280.jpg

https://31.media.tumblr.com/4a73840137e7ce0c7b4e92b88164ae93/tumblr_n6texzpMAZ1rv231do1_400.jpg

[Yora]

https://31.media.tumblr.com/40080b0680d0834bbdb95538a3f43fc5/tumblr_n6ypokO8rA1rv231do1_1280.jpg

https://24.media.tumblr.com/4e22f2ff961295e50463ba7cc179e6e7/tumblr_n6x6iryp6K1rv231do1_1280.jpg

https://31.media.tumblr.com/f77682463b8388dbefd547c9ef627e14/tumblr_n6x6k8Vv1h1rv231do1_500.jpg

https://24.media.tumblr.com/66958b47dfcca60bc7d7ee7bd8f24aa2/tumblr_n6x90wGdVn1rv231do1_1280.jpg

[endoperez]

Google says Mizukami Satoshi Tanpenshuu, which looks like a series of self-contained stories by the same person who did The Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer.

I'm gonna have to read that.

Edit: That's it exactly! Chapter 3, Man of Legend. It's a hilarious short story, only 10 pages long but with great payoff.

[Forrestfire]

Pretty hilarious concept, though. I'd totally read a manga based on any of those shorts.

[Sith_Happens]

[Offending poster removed]

https://24.media.tumblr.com/4e22f2ff961295e50463ba7cc179e6e7/tumblr_n6x6iryp6K1rv231do1_1280.jpg

https://31.media.tumblr.com/f77682463b8388dbefd547c9ef627e14/tumblr_n6x6k8Vv1h1rv231do1_500.jpg

https://24.media.tumblr.com/66958b47dfcca60bc7d7ee7bd8f24aa2/tumblr_n6x90wGdVn1rv231do1_1280.jpg

First one of these is most definitely NSFW.

[Yora]

Well, now your quote is the only one that would get the mods to object. :smalltongue:

https://31.media.tumblr.com/a19e6a8a3699de1c03132a8f0483cad3/tumblr_n6kk4po2S01t8junlo1_1280.jpg

[Sith_Happens]

Well, now your quote is the only one that would get the mods to object. :smalltongue:

Two can play at that game!

[Yora]

I got a good idea for another one. What would you say is the dumbest monster that exists in D&D?

[Ionbound]

I got a good idea for another one. What would you say is the dumbest monster that exists in D&D?

The flumph. Definitely. That, or the owlbear.

[ChaosArchon]

a PC :smalltongue:

[Mordokai]

a PC :smalltongue:

Oh snappeth!

[Mongobear]

First time ever trying these, and im just doing a one poster to see if I have the right sense of this.



http://i.imgur.com/k3LIij3.jpg

[No brains]

I got a good idea for another one. What would you say is the dumbest monster that exists in D&D?

The stupidest creature in core that still has a humanoid intellect is the Red Slaad, with -4 int -4 wis and -2 cha. The troll is a close second, but is -4 int -2wis -4cha/

[Ksheep]

I got a good idea for another one. What would you say is the dumbest monster that exists in D&D?

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing…

[Ninjaxenomorph]

I used to think they were funny, too, but then my character was nearly made into a mother by the Pathfinder incarnation. This was a male character.

[Eldan]

All those I don't have a problem with. However:

Gotcha-gimmick monsters. Monsters with one, often pointless ability, that they are built around and which, to trigger it, depends on the players doing something seemingly tactically sound. More common in early editions.

E.g. "This monster looks exatcly like another monster in every way, but if you attack it, it explodes" or "This monster looks like it was undead, but if you try to turn it, it gets a powerup and eats you".

[Ionbound]

Ah, I remember the Gas Spores...Those were pretty silly, yes.

[Eldan]

The thing that annoys me isn't that they are weird. I love the Wolf in Sheep's clothing, that's a viable ecological niche. The flumph just looks strange. But the gas spore and its companions? Pure "Haha, I got you" from the DM.

[Ionbound]

TBH, there is a niche for an undead that resists turning. But gas spore...Gods. Gygax must have been on something nice when he came up with that. But my least favorite was always the Lurker Above.

[Arkhosia]

http://i.imgur.com/tRfnkhA.jpg

[Slipperychicken]

http://i.imgur.com/L2p30xT.jpg

[ChaosArchon]

http://i.imgur.com/HfTWgg1.jpg

[Ralanr]

I don't really know what I'm doing, I couldn't seem to post the actual picture on here, so it's just a link instead.

http://diy.despair.com/builders/share/10871209.html

[Ksheep]

I don't really know what I'm doing, I couldn't seem to post the actual picture on here, so it's just a link instead.

http://diy.despair.com/builders/share/10871209.html

It looks like the Despair server doesn't allow for directly linking to the image, only to the full page (as you did). Trying to open the image by itself results in it merely downloading the image. You could possibly rehost it on another image sharing service (Imgur, for instance). Also, since you only had a link, you didn't have to put it in a spoiler tag. That's only for images themselves so the page isn't a mile long as soon as you load it…

[Ralanr]

It looks like the Despair server doesn't allow for directly linking to the image, only to the full page (as you did). Trying to open the image by itself results in it merely downloading the image. You could possibly rehost it on another image sharing service (Imgur, for instance). Also, since you only had a link, you didn't have to put it in a spoiler tag. That's only for images themselves so the page isn't a mile long as soon as you load it…

Thank you for the tip!

http://i.imgur.com/O8BJ85t.jpg

[Ksheep]

Speaking of tax…

http://i.imgur.com/QA1w5Y6.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/kOFEhdY.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/g8XthvS.jpg

[Amaril]

http://i.imgur.com/g8XthvS.jpg

Can I get a source on this map? It's actually perfect for something I'm working on.

[Ksheep]

Can I get a source on this map? It's actually perfect for something I'm working on.

Here's the map (http://i.imgur.com/LDMH8i3.jpg), and here's where I found it (http://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/2819pk/a_portion_of_our_campaign_world_for_scale_the/), complete with a few other maps and a close-up of the north-western corner of the map.

[Yora]

https://31.media.tumblr.com/c0dcb804edb0a2fe7885ac11367cd417/tumblr_n7822xmolm1rv231do1_1280.jpg

Not quite happy with this one, but I couldn't find another creature to keep the ryme intact. (Wolfs-in-Sheeps-Clothing is too long, owlbear not nearly stupid enoug.)

[Eldan]

I'll never understand why people think Flumphs are so bad, other than the name.

The apperance? They are jellyfish with slug eyestalks on their heads. Not that unusual. I'll expect some marine biologist will pull one from the ocean any day.

That they float? Generally non-floating things have been floating in mythology and fantasy forever.

That they are intelligent? D&D has intelligent versions of pretty much any animal out there.

[GPuzzle]

How come no one has mentioned the thought eater?

A freaking psychic platypus that eats your thoughts out?

Actually, might just link these two articles, they have some good info on stupid D&D monsters.

Article 1 (http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article73.htm)

Article 2 (http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article95.htm)

[Ravian]

I'll never understand why people think Flumphs are so bad, other than the name.

The apperance? They are jellyfish with slug eyestalks on their heads. Not that unusual. I'll expect some marine biologist will pull one from the ocean any day.

That they float? Generally non-floating things have been floating in mythology and fantasy forever.

That they are intelligent? D&D has intelligent versions of pretty much any animal out there.

I think part of it is that they're also a good-aligned aberrant that's generally weak and non-threatening. They're silly, both in name, appearance and behavior. They just kind of end up as another annoying ally of good that players will probably have to save since they're not the type that can defend themselves from the bigger badder aberrants. Like Kendar with tentacles.

Flumphs are the Jar-Jar Binks of D&D, ineffectual and annoying but people will still get mad if you try to kill them off-hand.

[Eldan]

I don't know their stats, do they exist somewhere? Because if they areally are just weak across the board, that sort of makes them interesting by themselves. Also, how weak are we talking? Similar to a human? Halfling? A tiny animal?

[Ksheep]

I don't know their stats, do they exist somewhere? Because if they areally are just weak across the board, that sort of makes them interesting by themselves. Also, how weak are we talking? Similar to a human? Halfling? A tiny animal?

Flumphs were ported to 3.5 in an issue of Dungeon Magazine, and they really are quite pitifully weak. The best way to incapacitate one? Flip it on it's back. Once flipped on it's back, it's tentacles stop exuding acid, they can't move, and they can hardly talk. They can try to right themselves once per day with a DC 20 Escape Artist check.

That said, their attacks aren't that bad: Tentacles for 1d4-2 plus 1d4 Acid (which then deals an additional 1 point of damage per turn for 1d4 rounds), Plummeting Charge (impale you with spikes on it's underside if it can hover above you) for 1d8 plus 1d4 Acid (as before), and Rancid Spurt (spouts out a Nauseating/Sickening smell which lasts 1d4 hours, once per day). It also has Darkvision, +13 to Hide, a Fly speed (only 15 ft though), and 2d8 HD, as a CR 1 monster. Not the most threatening of monsters, but it can be a nuisance if it gets the drop on you.

EDIT: Oh yeah, and it's Tiny size, if you were interested in that. 16 AC, +6 to hit with it's tentacles, and a couple other odds and ends.

[Pink]

I don't know their stats, do they exist somewhere? Because if they areally are just weak across the board, that sort of makes them interesting by themselves. Also, how weak are we talking? Similar to a human? Halfling? A tiny animal?

Pathfinder Flumph (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/monster-listings/aberrations/flumph)

[Erik Vale]

*Checks*
If it weren't for the Strix, I would play that sans the HP.

[Eldan]

Flumphs were ported to 3.5 in an issue of Dungeon Magazine, and they really are quite pitifully weak. The best way to incapacitate one? Flip it on it's back. Once flipped on it's back, it's tentacles stop exuding acid, they can't move, and they can hardly talk. They can try to right themselves once per day with a DC 20 Escape Artist check.

That said, their attacks aren't that bad: Tentacles for 1d4-2 plus 1d4 Acid (which then deals an additional 1 point of damage per turn for 1d4 rounds), Plummeting Charge (impale you with spikes on it's underside if it can hover above you) for 1d8 plus 1d4 Acid (as before), and Rancid Spurt (spouts out a Nauseating/Sickening smell which lasts 1d4 hours, once per day). It also has Darkvision, +13 to Hide, a Fly speed (only 15 ft though), and 2d8 HD, as a CR 1 monster. Not the most threatening of monsters, but it can be a nuisance if it gets the drop on you.

EDIT: Oh yeah, and it's Tiny size, if you were interested in that. 16 AC, +6 to hit with it's tentacles, and a couple other odds and ends.

Huh. You know, I don't see pathetically weak, here. Except for the flip on the back thing, that is just silly. I see rather powerful. If you see them as a race and culture instead of a monster.

I mean, compare them to a human. They fly. They have powerful natural weapons. They are all but invisible when hiding. They can extrude acid strong enough to eat through glass (but not wood or stone, sadly). Their cities must be damn fascinating.

Edit: plus their stats are amazing. So much more dextrous than elves. Wiser than just about any mortal race. That's it, I'm building a flumph civilization in my next campaign setting.