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Wonderboy
2007-01-23, 09:11 PM
I've got a Bard idea floating around in my head, and I want to go with something cooler than the traditional lute this go around.

The character is an Elf wiss a strong Fronsh aksont and is on the level of Sean Connery or Roy Harper in level of sheer scorage. So, I want something cool for him to play.

Jack Squat
2007-01-23, 09:14 PM
bagpipes. Last I checked, they're actually listed as a possible instrument somewhere.

Wonderboy
2007-01-23, 09:15 PM
As is the banjolele. I was looking through Song and Silence, and nothing really grabbed me too much.

But, I am tempted by the banjolele.

I think I'll save bagpipes for a Dwarf Bard.

Mattarias, King.
2007-01-23, 09:24 PM
a lute, but modified to either be used as a weapon (blades?) or to shoot arrows. XD i mean, c'mon, that's gotta look as cool as it sounds rediculous.

Aximili
2007-01-23, 09:25 PM
is he low level? If not, you can give him a magic keyboard^^

Wonderboy
2007-01-23, 09:29 PM
Probably starting at low level.


A magical key-tar would be max outrageous though.

DaMullet
2007-01-23, 09:29 PM
You need to invent the tuba.

Seriously, an elven tuba player? That would own in so many ways.

Aximili
2007-01-23, 09:58 PM
Probably starting at low level.
A magical key-tar would be max outrageous though.
Well, it really wouldn't cost that much. A use-activated magic item with ghost sound to reproduce a piano (or anything else).

How much would that be? 4.000GP?
You could put in some ajustment, but it wouldn't need much.

Person_Man
2007-01-23, 10:00 PM
Perform (Poetry) or Perform (Rhetoric) or Perform (Voice). All the benefits of bard music, without having to carry an instrument.

Or if you're just going for kitsch value, there's always Perform (Spoons) or Perform (Glockenspiel).

Aximili
2007-01-23, 10:03 PM
Forgive my ignorance, but what is rhetoric?

purple gelatinous cube o' Doom
2007-01-23, 10:03 PM
heck, I had a gong as my bard instrument for a gamel, nad in a pbp game I'm about to start here in the boards, I have a bard that plays the accordion.

Woot Spitum
2007-01-23, 10:06 PM
Guitar. This isn't for the instrument so much as it is for the case, inside of which you mount a heavy repeating crossbow, and set it up so that you can fire it without opening the case. Great for surprising people.

TimeWizard
2007-01-23, 10:42 PM
PM, in DnD isn't the Rhetoric covered under Perform (oratory)? Also, i hear hear that if you have the birth feat [Henry Rollins] you can add your stength score to your charisma for Perform (Oratory)

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-01-23, 10:50 PM
I had an elvish bard with a rather ordinary looking lute. No secret switches or hidden traps on it. For all intents and purposes, no matter how you looked it over, it was a perfectly ordinary lute. Unless you try to pick it up.

Then you realize that it weighs a whole lot more then a lute should weigh, and realize that it's not just a lute- it's basically a great club. Only the inside's lined with wood. The rest is made of a thick, heavy, and resilient white rock.

Person_Man
2007-01-23, 10:50 PM
Forgive my ignorance, but what is rhetoric?

The art of of public speaking.

Edit: Gah, Simu-post!


PM, in DnD isn't the Rhetoric covered under Perform (oratory)? Also, i hear hear that if you have the birth feat [Henry Rollins] you can add your stength score to your charisma for Perform (Oratory)

I guess you could call it either.

Also, excellent voice over humor - extra points for obscurity of the subject matter combined with D&D!

Halcyon_Dax
2007-01-23, 11:42 PM
Perform (Yelling), Perform (Owl Noises), Perform (Catcalls), Perform (Castanets), Perform (Tap Dancing), Perform (Scat), Perform (Beatbox), Perform (Tamborine), Perform (Trombone), Perform (Viola), Perform (Finger snapping)

Amphimir Míriel
2007-01-24, 12:03 AM
a lute, but modified to either be used as a weapon (blades?) or to shoot arrows. XD i mean, c'mon, that's gotta look as cool as it sounds rediculous.

Sorry, but not even a modern guitar's arm (which has a steel truss rod inside to prevent warping) would be able to withstand the pull/release cycles of crossbow usage without warping or bowing irremediably (or even snapping!)

Stringed instruments are designed to withstand a certain ammount of constant pressure from the strings... The key word here is "constant"

(Sorry if my post killed a few catgirls)

---

Now answering the OP, there are some nice instruments that are available to the fantasy bard that are not as clichéd as the everpresent lute:

Accordion (although this may not be available in most middle-age tech campaings)
Bagpipes
Flute (the Kung Fu protagonist comes to mind)
Fiddle
Drums (for the connosieur Half-orc bard/barbarian)

Although the Lute/Guitar is a popular choice for a reason; it is a reasonably portable instrument, capable of complex chording AND melody...

ampcptlogic
2007-01-24, 12:06 AM
Perform (Poetry) or Perform (Rhetoric) or Perform (Voice). All the benefits of bard music, without having to carry an instrument.

Or if you're just going for kitsch value, there's always Perform (Spoons) or Perform (Glockenspiel).

I just have to ask: how would the bard transport said glockenspiel? Steamtrain?

And yes, I'm thinking of the really big ones, like the animated one in Munchen.

The bard I'm playing carries no less than four instruments: lute, lyre, pan pipes, and flute. I only have enough ranks in perform(voice) and perform(strings) right now to use them for Bardic Music, but that's ok. The wind instruments are flavor. I figure for a serious entertain check, he can play and sing at once. Also, one of the games I watch involves a high-level bard who plays harmonicas.

Mewtarthio
2007-01-24, 12:20 AM
Perform (comedy)
Perform (elvis impersonation)
Perform (dance)

TheThan
2007-01-24, 12:30 AM
I advocate the harmonica. Its light and goes anywhere, just stick it in your pocket and go!
Also make sure to pick up a guitar rack and have hands free music.

CuthroatMcGee
2007-01-24, 12:41 AM
I would give my bard some of the strangest and least convenient instruments I could find, like a didgeridoo (did I spell that right?), Greek double-flutes, or the double bass. Though I do like Halcyon_Dax's suggestion of a beatboxing bard. That would be, hands-down, the coolest bard the game has ever seen.

Last_resort_33
2007-01-24, 07:04 AM
Perform(Church Organ)... It wouldn't be much out in the wilderness, but you would own the BBEG if he lived in a gothic castle or abandoned church

BDO
2007-01-24, 08:26 AM
Perform (comedy)
Perform (elvis impersonation)
Perform (dance)

Why not use Perform (Elvish Impersonation)? Or, to return from the Land of Pun, Perform (Gong)? Or Perform (Steel Drum) for the occassional elven Rastafari?

SpiderBrigade
2007-01-24, 09:04 AM
Perform: Capoeira?

ampcptlogic
2007-01-24, 09:21 AM
Capoeira? Would that be for that random Monk/Bard gestalt character? And would it count as an attack if you happened to punch someone in the face in the middle of the performance?

Aximili
2007-01-24, 09:34 AM
Doesn't bardic music require a Perform that produces sound?
It's great to combine with Perform (Sing), as long as you sing the right songs you've got some nice roleplay.

ps:Someone at another forum created a PrC focused on Capoeira, along with a few feats. As I recall it was aimed for the fighter.

adanedhel9
2007-01-24, 09:53 AM
The bard I'm playing carries no less than four instruments: lute, lyre, pan pipes, and flute.

You should pick up Versatile Performer from Complete Adventurer (I think; I don't have my books at the moment). It lets you apply ranks from one Perform skill to two others, and gives you a bonus (+2?) to Perform checks involving more than one Perform skill. My bard used this to be pretty good in Perform (oratory), Peform (winds), and Perform (strings).



Drums (for the connosieur Half-orc bard/barbarian)


Have I ever played with you before? This was one of the recurring jokes in my college group.

Jayabalard
2007-01-24, 10:11 AM
Perform: El Kabong! (http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:z_37dC5wTjNXyM:http://demo.asemantics.com/zparqler/zuper.jpg)
Perform: Castanets
Perform: Tap Dance

Godhand
2007-01-24, 10:18 AM
Violin. He's like Mr. Connery right? Connery was James Bond, all British spies know how to play the violin, it's in their training. For those wondering where, I'd say inbetween the sharp dressing and the devil-may-care attitude.

Shadow of the Sun
2007-01-24, 10:30 AM
Perform: Ocarina? I mean, Ocarina's are incredibly cool instruments with a very haunting tone. If you have heard one, and I would bet you have, you would agree with me on how goddamn haunting it is. There is an ocarina solo in "Wild Thing" and it is the first melody instrument you hear in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly theme.

Fhaolan
2007-01-24, 11:04 AM
You want a 'cool' musical instrument? One that your elven bard can rock out with, and still look bad-ass? What you need is a serious instrument with a good range, but that is out of context. Something that one looks at and says, "You play that? I thought those were only for 'high brow' concerts where they serve champagne and the finger sandwiches?" And then you show them how wrong they are.

This could fit a lot of different instruments, but the one I'm thinking of right now is the cello.

I'm not joking. Check out 'Apocalyptica'. It's a Finnish cello trio/quartet that does heavy metal. It's seriously strange.

Person_Man
2007-01-24, 11:21 AM
Perform (Pantomime): No need for an instrument or sound - of course you'd have to worry about the other PC's wanting to kill you every time you "inspired" them.


When the Nazis came for the Communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a Communist.

When they locked up the Social Democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a Social Democrat.

When they came for the Trade Unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a Trade Unionist.

When they came for us,
the Mimes;
I remained silent.

Deus Mortus
2007-01-24, 11:22 AM
Perform (one man band) nuff said!

Mewtarthio
2007-01-24, 11:24 AM
Perform: Ocarina? I mean, Ocarina's are incredibly cool instruments with a very haunting tone. If you have heard one, and I would bet you have, you would agree with me on how goddamn haunting it is. There is an ocarina solo in "Wild Thing" and it is the first melody instrument you hear in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly theme.

Yes! Left-handed elf bard with a longsword and a shield and ranks in Perform (ocarina)!

Woot Spitum
2007-01-24, 11:39 AM
Yes! Left-handed elf bard with a longsword and a shield and ranks in Perform (ocarina)!

Later, you could take ranks in Perform [Conduct Wind].:smallbiggrin:

Sahegian
2007-01-24, 11:39 AM
Perform (one man band) nuff said!


20 minutes too late :*(

That is more of a gnome instrument though I think.

Fax Celestis
2007-01-24, 11:41 AM
Sorry, but not even a modern guitar's arm (which has a steel truss rod inside to prevent warping) would be able to withstand the pull/release cycles of crossbow usage without warping or bowing irremediably (or even snapping!)

Stringed instruments are designed to withstand a certain ammount of constant pressure from the strings... The key word here is "constant"

(Sorry if my post killed a few catgirls)



Unfortunately for you, there are rules for lute-bayonets in Complete Scoundrel.

Fax Celestis
2007-01-24, 11:42 AM
I'm not joking. Check out 'Apocalyptica'. It's a Finnish cello trio/quartet that does heavy metal. It's seriously strange.

Apocalyptica is not strange, it is METAL.

Woot Spitum
2007-01-24, 11:42 AM
20 minutes too late :*(

That is more of a gnome instrument though I think.

Speaking of gnomes, you could probably find one willing build you a pretty wacky and complex mechanical instrument straight out of a Dr. Seuss book.

Jorkens
2007-01-24, 11:46 AM
A throat-singing bard would be quite cool and flavourful.

I'd tend to steer clear of wind if you want to be able to talk / sing at the same time as playing. Harps are a classic, but almost as cliche as the lute. Some variant on a zither / hammer dulcimer / cimbalon maybe? Or a hurdy gurdy?

ampcptlogic
2007-01-24, 11:49 AM
Wind instruments might be good for fascinate however, since with your hands and mouth occupied, you very obviously can't do anything threatening to the target.

Jorkens
2007-01-24, 11:51 AM
Hmmmm... http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A486074

Despite my comment about wind instruments, a pipe and tabor would be quite cool for an 'authentic' bard.

Oh, and if you can always play a fairly standard instrument but give it an odd number of strings / whatever.

Woot Spitum
2007-01-24, 01:24 PM
Bongos. Definately bongos.

TheThan
2007-01-24, 02:33 PM
How about the “hand jive”.

Wonderboy
2007-01-24, 04:24 PM
Alright, I'm starting at level 3, and I'm going for the magical ghost-sound keytar, I think.

MrNexx
2007-01-24, 04:40 PM
I gave a saytr panpipes of sounding that had a CL of 5; he refers to them as the Pipes of MIDIan...

Fax Celestis
2007-01-24, 04:41 PM
I gave a saytr panpipes of sounding that had a CL of 5; he refers to them as the Pipes of MIDIan...

*groans* That's horrid.

Appolo
2007-01-24, 04:42 PM
i'd definetly say have him play bass lute. have him be like les claypool and slap it and crazy hijinks will follow.

MrNexx
2007-01-24, 04:42 PM
*groans* That's horrid.

Yeah... he's also the guy who wants to form the Cult of Gygax in game... someone who believes, fervently, that his life is not his own, but it is controlled by a being on another plane in some sort of a game.

Jayabalard
2007-01-24, 04:45 PM
Violin. He's like Mr. Connery right? Connery was James Bond, all British spies know how to play the violin, it's in their training. For those wondering where, I'd say inbetween the sharp dressing and the devil-may-care attitude. Mr Connery was also Agamemnon, so you could go with perform: Magic tricks

Shadow of the Sun
2007-01-24, 05:24 PM
Slapping a lute=broken lute.

DaMullet
2007-01-24, 05:36 PM
Perform (Nose Flute)

There is nothing that can top that. Nothing.

Woot Spitum
2007-01-24, 06:25 PM
Perform (Nose Flute)

There is nothing that can top that. Nothing.

Wow, you can play it, sing, and still have both hands free!:smalltongue:

mikeejimbo
2007-01-24, 06:28 PM
Why not use Perform (Elvish Impersonation)? Or, to return from the Land of Pun, Perform (Gong)? Or Perform (Steel Drum) for the occassional elven Rastafari?


I gave a saytr panpipes of sounding that had a CL of 5; he refers to them as the Pipes of MIDIan...

Perform (Pun)


Slapping a lute=broken lute.

Actually, I was in a campaign in which I had a magical lute that reformed after being smashed. Quite handy for the end of the performance. (Which was my Orc Bard's favorite part, naturally)

Anyway, isn't the answer obvious? Perform (Kazoo)

Dicemaster
2007-01-24, 08:01 PM
Perform(weapon drill).

Then grab a Brilliant Energy double-bladed sword, paint your face red and start making "swoosh" sounds while you whirl it around.

CaptainSam
2007-01-24, 08:29 PM
I can't believe noone's thought of this:

Perform (Hurdy Gurdy (http://www.hurdygurdy.farmcom.net/parts2.jpg))

With a little bit of Gnomish ingenuity, you go from awesome-sounding string instrument that noone's heard of........to REPEATING CROSSBOW!!

Actually, on second thoughts, I'll copywrite that idea myself.

Jorkens
2007-01-24, 08:35 PM
I can't believe noone's thought of this:

Perform (Hurdy Gurdy (http://www.hurdygurdy.farmcom.net/parts2.jpg))
Erm, I think they did...


Or a hurdy gurdy?

waspsmakejam
2007-01-24, 08:39 PM
An elf bard with a French accent should definitely play the piano accordian.

CaptainSam
2007-01-24, 08:39 PM
Erm, I think they did...

ARGH!! No! Oh well, I had the better idea of the repeating crossbow.

Okay, noone's thought of the Alphorn! Just fill it with Alchemists' Fire for burny-goodness!

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-01-24, 08:52 PM
Could always play a clarinet fitted to fire poison darts :D

Jorkens
2007-01-24, 09:00 PM
Okay, noone's thought of the Alphorn! Just fill it with Alchemists' Fire for burny-goodness!
Tee hee. That's a plan. Alpenhorns are always cool even when they don't explode.

The two definitive references for musical instruments as heavy weaponry are, afaict, the lute type thing that the pretend-Geishas have in Zatoichi and (as I think someone's already referred to) the variety of stupid weapons in guitar cases in Desperado.

Suvarov454
2007-01-24, 09:14 PM
An elf bard with a French accent should definitely play the piano accordian.

Dang! I thought the same thing, but I had to put my children down, so you beat me to it.

I did a little Googling, and the accordian appears to have been invented in the mid 1800's, but it's ancestry seems to derive from the Chinese sheng (which is thousands of years old). In a fantasy realm with Gnome tinkerers, a bellows-operated reed instrument seems quite reasonable.

MrNexx
2007-01-24, 09:35 PM
Perform(weapon drill).

Then grab a Brilliant Energy double-bladed sword, paint your face red and start making "swoosh" sounds while you whirl it around.

I keep meaning to remake the Blade, so he can use that as his Perform skill for bardic "music" effects...

The Demented One
2007-01-24, 11:26 PM
You could go with the coolest instrument ever, the Hurdy Gurdy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurdy_gurdy).

Fhaolan
2007-01-25, 02:49 AM
Okay, this one takes a bit of building up to.

I once had an idea for a Monk/Bard built around this rather singular instrument. I once saw the Blue Man Group in concert, and one of the things they used was this long flexible stick. It makes this wonderful whooshy noise and by varying your grip along it's length, you can actually make it do notes.

So, Bard, because it's a musical instrument, and Monk, because it's obviously also a martial arts weapon. I also wanted to make him a Dwarf, just because. :smallbiggrin:

"Back off, boyo, or you'll get a bit of my whippy stick!"

"Okay, too much information, dude."

CaptainSam
2007-01-25, 07:12 AM
You could go with the coolest instrument ever, the Hurdy Gurdy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurdy_gurdy).

Too slow, Demented!! First Jorkens, and I beat you to it! Too slow, chicken marengo!

JellyPooga
2007-01-25, 07:12 AM
I played in a game once where one of the players was a Bard with Perform: Lewd Joke (the character was also writing a series of pulp fiction books entitled "Dungeons and Dragnet"...they sold quite well IIRC)

Maquis
2007-01-25, 10:34 AM
once, long ago, in a city far far away, with a DM who did not have a vendetta against all Bards I played a Half-Orc who used Cymbols. Got them Enchanted so one douibled as a shield, and the other had magiced razor edges. He could bash, crash, smash and slash.

though admitedly that doesn't really suit the theme you are going for, unless he is one wierd elf.

Fax Celestis
2007-01-25, 10:39 AM
He could bash, crash, smash and slash.

That's a groaner.

nivek1234
2007-01-25, 02:09 PM
I say go for perform(Trumpet). Play a fanfare to inspire courage, or pull a Louis Armstrong and go jazz for social situations.

Plus if you got to a high enough level (and maybe it was enchanted??), you could argue that you could use the trumpet to cause a cone of deafening.

Maybe not best with an elf, but meh.

CaptainSam
2007-01-25, 03:44 PM
Just thought of another!

Perform (Tap-Dancing)

I would pay good gold to see a tap-dancing elf!

Wonderboy
2007-01-25, 03:57 PM
Just thought of another!

Perform (Tap-Dancing)

I would pay good gold to see a tap-dancing elf!

I'd rather see a tap-dancing Half-Ogre.

Rolaran
2007-01-25, 04:32 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulovLQ63eQc

Perform: Elite Beat?

Actually, I seriously want to try this if I ever play a Bard.

tbarrie
2007-01-25, 07:44 PM
Mr Connery was also Agamemnon, so you could go with perform: Magic tricks
I'll admit I haven't finished the Iliad yet, but I really can't picture Agamemnon doing magic tricks.

goat
2007-01-25, 08:01 PM
A bull-roarer, used as a kind of weighted whip.

Wolf53226
2007-01-26, 04:05 PM
How about the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glockenspiel

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-01-26, 08:49 PM
If you play as an evil character, Perform: Screaming Child could be awesome.