I am THE WORLD'S BIGGEST MORON

[Ridureyu]

A friend died today. Not one of my closest friends, but still a friend, and very close to a lot of our mutual friends. Normally, in these situations, I try to be there to comfort people or just provide a shoulder/listening ear (there's been enough death in my family the last few years that it's kind of prepped me to help others). But this time?

I didn't notice the facebook announcement and thought that people were posting about a minor internet celebrity guy who died the other day (JewWario from Channel Awesome/That Guy with the Glasses. Also very sad), so I ended up acting totally insensitive until like an hour ago.


Is there, like, a place where I really can climb down the world's deepest pit and hide under a rock for a little while?

[banthesun]

My condolences for your loss. Try not to be too hard on yourself though. We don't go through life expecting people we know to suddenly die, so it can definitely take a while to sink in. I've been in a similar situation myself, actually. I didn't realise that my friends were talking about something that had actually happened and just continued acting like an insensitive dolt. Just be sincerely supportive now you do understand, at this point things are probably still moving too fast for them to be too hurt by your honest mistake. Once again, you have my deepest condolences.

[factotum]

I was prepared to say something flippant on reading the title, but then read the OP and concluded it wasn't appropriate. So I'll just say this: you made a mistake. People do it all the time. No point beating yourself up over it, especially when you need to be there to provide comfort for your other friends.

[TaiLiu]

My condolences and empathizes, Ridureyu.

[tomandtish]

Don't feel unduly bad. At some point in most people's lives we'll accidentally be insensitive because we didn't realize everything that was going on. I once ran into an old friend who I hadn't seen in years. after the initial hellos, I asked him how his partner was doing and if we could get together for dinner...

His partner passed two months prior.


I didn't notice the facebook announcement...

And this is why you shouldn't feel too bad about it. It's normal to feel a little sad that you increased others' discomfort, but there's a simple rule:

If you want me to know something, tell ME. Face-booking is not telling.

[mistformsquirrl]

My condolences and empathizes, Ridureyu.

Same from me. That's, difficult on many levels.

[Coidzor]

It is sorta unreal when it happens unexpectedly.

I'm sorry, man.

[Temotei]

Hey, man. People make mistakes. Be there now.

Sorry to hear it, though. That sucks.

[Grozomah]

My condolences.

But yeah, as much as my inner CE wanted to get some schadenfreude what you got here isn't tragic. If no one told you (and it was said already that facebook walls aren't an assurance of that), then you had no way of knowing.
I would apologise to your friends and explain them when the opportunity arises, just to make it clear that your actions weren't caused by malice, but by misunderstanding.

[Ridureyu]

Hey guys, thanks. I've managed to comfort people now, past the humiliation, so it's all good. Just... wow, sometimes we do stupid things.

[GolemsVoice]

My condolences as well.

You acted stupid, but you didn't mean it, and you seem to have managed to clear up the misunderstanding. And you managed to comfort people in the end, that's what they most need now.

[Jay R]

You didn't react badly. You failed to react due to misinformation. That's fine. Now go console your friends, and get consolation from them.

And don't spend time telling them this story. It's about the friend who died, not about you.

[Devils_Advocate]

These things happen. (http://tailsteak.com/archive.php?num=372)