Haley: attracted to her quite-possibly illegitimate cousin?

[Dalek_Kolt]

:smallsmile:So we add another member to Haley's growing established family, Uncle Geoff's son, Jiminy! I mean, it was obvious in hindsight, Jiminy and Geoff have so much in common in terms of family resemblance!

{{scrubbed}}

:smallannoyed:Wait...

Remove the mustache...

{{scrubbed}}

Recolor the hair...

{{scrubbed}}

:smalleek: ...Dun, dun dunnnnn.
{{scrubbed}}

:smallfrown:...My god, not only did Ian have to associate the monstrous warlord Tarquin with his own nephew, but Haley is in love with a blonde version of her cousin! Truly, Jiminy will become the anti-Elan in the newest edition of the Linear Guild. He already has the evil mustache and black hair of evil!

Even worse, what if his resemblance implies a relationship to our resident womanizer, Tarquin? Does Geoff's wife hold a shameful past?

:smalltongue:...Or is Jiminy's appearance simply a relic of more simplistic character designs of the past?

The choices are yours, and yours alone!

EDIT: okay, I got my original images scrubbed, but you can still see in one of the posts below that Jiminy looks like Elan! You know, if you completely changed every distinctive facial feature of him.

[Zmeoaice]

Well, I hope Jimmy plays a much larger role than a joke from now on.

I totally read "Dun, dun dunnnnn." in Elan's voice. Well, the voice I've given him.

[Tass]

Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar. Sometimes, characters that have a similar hairstyle just have a similar hairstyle. How many hairstyles do you think there are that can be drawn in stick figure style, anyway?

Edit:


What? I thought that wanna-be paladin was Jimmy...

1. She's a woman
2. She's dark skinned
3. Then she would actually be doing something worthwhile and the joke wouldn't work.

[Trillium]

1. She's a woman
2. She's dark skinned
3. Then she would actually be doing something worthwhile and the joke wouldn't work.

Yeah, I reviewed the comic and noticed my mistake. My excuses are that the woman is rather, mmm, flat and that Geoff isn't exactly milk-skinned either.

[Math_Mage]

I...buh...er...ARGH! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY-03vYYAjA)

[johnbragg]

Am I the first to 'ship Jiminy with Hannah Shatterstar?

They have compatible genitalia, and they're both non-adventurers! Boom!

[Gift Jeraff]

{{scrubbed}}Anyone else realize this kinda looks like Nale, too?

[DeliaP]

Anyone else realize this kinda looks like Nale, too?

Welll that's just ridiculous: he doesn't have a goatee.

[Crusher]

Edit:



1. She's a woman
2. She's dark skinned
3. Then she would actually be doing something worthwhile and the joke wouldn't work.

I actually missed all those points entirely, and nearly made the same mistake but was saved by the hint of the picture of Geoff and Ivy hanging on the wall behind him (which, sadly, was not in the original Polearm Shop strip). Presumably a picture in a shop would be of the shop owner's family rather than of a particular customer's family.

Since he's still in business I'm hopeful he's gotten some inventory by now.

[Gift Jeraff]

Welll that's just ridiculous: he doesn't have a goatee.

But Geoff does! Maybe Jiminy is Geoff's legitimate son, but Geoff is also Nale's dad??

[mikeejimbo]

Hey now. There's no shame in being illegitimate. It's not his fault.

[Socksy]

Am I the first to 'ship Jiminy with Hannah Shatterstar?

They have compatible genitalia, and they're both non-adventurers! Boom!

Shatterstar is an awesome last name, but aren't they Shattersmith?

[Bulldog Psion]

Am I the first to 'ship Jiminy with Hannah Shatterstar?

They have compatible genitalia, and they're both non-adventurers! Boom!

How about Jiminy and Inkyrius?

[Duck999]

But Geoff does! Maybe Jiminy is Geoff's legitimate son, but Geoff is also Nale's dad??

That would make Elan Geoffs son, making Haley dating her cousin... not going to happen... or is it? And also, don't forget about Tarquin.

[Nightsbridge]

. . . There's only so many distinctive features that a stick figure can have. I believe this may be overthinking things.

[Kornaki]

No, it's under thinking things. I agree with Gift: take Geoff, add Nale's hair, color everything yellow, lighten his skin (three years in a desert prison will give you quite a tan) and you have the spitting image of Nale.

We also know that Geoff is Miron's clone. Therefore Nale is actually Miron's son, and the favor that Miron owes Tarquin from 12 years ago is that Tarquin found out Nale was illegitimate and Miron said he'd give Tarquin a favor to make up for it!

[martianmister]

Then who is this?! (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0226.html) Another cousin of Haley?

[Dalek_Kolt]

Then who is this?! (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0226.html) Another cousin of Haley?

:smallannoyed:Yeah, obviously Jiminy's sister.

[NerdyKris]

Why exactly is Jimmy "quite-possibly illegitimate"? Are we just assuming Ivy and Geoff aren't married for some reason?

[Oko and Qailee]

What you guys don't know is.

Every unidentified human NPC in OotS except those in Azure City are part of Haleys family*

*Excluding obvious one that I don't feel like being too specific for

[ORione]

What you guys don't know is.

Every unidentified human NPC in OotS except those in Azure City are part of Haleys family*

*Excluding obvious one that I don't feel like being too specific for

As well as many nonhuman NPC's.

[DeliaP]

Then who is this?! (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0226.html) Another cousin of Haley?

I don't know, but she seems to be working with a cousin of Elan and Nale in the last two panels.

[martianmister]

I don't know, but she seems to be working with a cousin of Elan and Nale in the last two panels.

I think we're talking about the same person. :smalltongue:

[Keltest]

As well as many nonhuman NPC's.

I think that goes without saying, as nonhumans do not in fact meet the "human" qualifier.

[Zmeoaice]

Why exactly is Jimmy "quite-possibly illegitimate"? Are we just assuming Ivy and Geoff aren't married for some reason?

The OP implies Tarquin might be Jiminy's father.

[DeliaP]

I think we're talking about the same person. :smalltongue:

Ah! But if the Elan-Nale-ish looking guy is Haley's cousin, does that mean the Haley-ish looking women is Elan's cousin?

Just how intermarried are their two families, then, really???? :smalleek:

[Oko and Qailee]

As well as many nonhuman NPC's.

Only the dragon ones

[Math_Mage]

Only the dragon ones
With some obvious exceptions. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0639.html)

[ORione]

Only the dragon ones

And the celestial ones.

[allenw]

How about Jiminy and Inkyrius?

The compatibility of Inkyrius' genitalia (with anyone) is unlikely to be resolved.

[SavageWombat]

The compatibility of Inkyrius' genitalia (with anyone) is unlikely to be resolved.

I had a campaign once where all elves were literally androgynous. Legend had it that one who saw an elf unclad would go mad.

[johnbragg]

The compatibility of Inkyrius' genitalia (with anyone) is unlikely to be resolved.

Well, we assumed that Jiminy is straight, but that's not guaranteed either. So if
Jiminy being REdcloak's polymorphed niece is fair game, I don't see why Inkyrius being female, or Jiminy being gay is out of bounds for the thread.

[DeliaP]

Well, we assumed that Jiminy is straight, but that's not guaranteed either. So if
Jiminy being REdcloak's polymorphed niece is fair game, I don't see why Inkyrius being female, or Jiminy being gay is out of bounds for the thread.

As the creator of the "polymorphed neice" theory, I'd just like to point out that we really really shouldn't be assuming Jiminy is straight. Jiminy being gay is a perfectly reasonable possibility and it would be very very wrong of us to assume Jiminy is straight just because we are not given a reason to suppose he is not.

That being so, it's perfectly possible to ship Jiminy with Inkyrius without needing to resolve the nature of Inkyrius' gender or sexuality (which is fortunate as we know that we're unlikely to get any indication of that because it would reflect too much on Vaarsuvius' gender and sexuality).

OTOH, if anyone took the polymorphed niece theory seriously, then, boy do I need to start using a font colour (like blue for sarcasm) to indicate "If you can't understand what I'm saying it's because my tongue is jammed firmly in my cheek"! :smallbiggrin:

[Socksy]

Incidentally, I thought this thread was going to be suggesting Haley was attracted to Jiminy, simply because they're roughly the same age and opposite genders, à la Laurin's Favour thread. I was pleasantly surprised.

[johnbragg]

As the creator of the "polymorphed neice" theory, I'd just like to point out that we really really shouldn't be assuming Jiminy is straight.

WEll, if OOTSverse demographics are comparable to real-world demographics, there's around a 95% chance.


Jiminy being gay is a perfectly reasonable possibility and it would be very very wrong of us to assume Jiminy is straight just because we are not given a reason to suppose he is not.

It's a reasonable possibility. But we have zero data points either way.


OTOH, if anyone took the polymorphed niece theory seriously, then, boy do I need to start using a font colour (like blue for sarcasm) to indicate "If you can't understand what I'm saying it's because my tongue is jammed firmly in my cheek"! :smallbiggrin:

I don't think that my 'shipping of Jiminy with Hannah, or the equally valid shipping of Jiminy with Inkyvarius, or the impending shipping of Jiminy with Trigak, was much more serious than the polymorphed niece theory.

Or are other people taking shipping of distant background characters with fewer OOTS appearances than fingers a lot more seriously than I am?

[DeliaP]

I don't think that my 'shipping of Jiminy with Hannah, or the equally valid shipping of Jiminy with Inkyvarius, or the impending shipping of Jiminy with Trigak, was much more serious than the polymorphed niece theory.

Or are other people taking shipping of distant background characters with fewer OOTS appearances than fingers a lot more seriously than I am?

My apologies, I think my post may have been badly expressed.

Jiminy being Redcloaks polymorphed neice is clearly absurd (though if it turns out to be true I will so brag ;-) ). Jiminy being gay is not. That's pretty much my only real point.

Jiminy being shipped with Inkyrius is fairly preposterous for a variety of reasons, none of which are Inkyrius' gender or Inkyrius' or Jiminy's sexuality. But I have nothing else against preposterous theories, and happily engage in them.

[johnbragg]

My apologies, I think my post may have been badly expressed.

Jiminy being Redcloaks polymorphed neice is clearly absurd (though if it turns out to be true I will so brag ;-) ). Jiminy being gay is not. That's pretty much my only real point.

True. Jiminy being gay is a longshot, around 30:1. Jiminy being Redcloak's niece is such a longshot that no number can express how unlikely it is.

[Lettuce]

True. Jiminy being gay is a longshot, around 30:1. Jiminy being Redcloak's niece is such a longshot that no number can express how unlikely it is.

Wait, like a one-in-a-million chance??? (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0584.html)

[Lord_Gareth]

This is the best thread ever.