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Darthteej
2014-02-01, 02:01 PM
Ok, so I've started this thread because I just cancelled a session today and I'm feeling really guilty about it. I usually run two games over the weekend, one for each day. Last night I barely got any sleep and I have a ton of schoolwork besides, so three hours before things were scheduled to start I sent my players a mass text and email that the session wouldn't be happening. My question to the Playground is: what do you consider a valid reason for cancelling as a DM, and how do you react as players when they do?

Tvtyrant
2014-02-01, 02:26 PM
My group cancels anytime 2 people cannot make it, and I will cancel if I need to do something else. If I got no sleep I would probably ask if someone else wants to run a one shot or break out the board games myself, lets me off from the stress.

Rhynn
2014-02-01, 03:00 PM
"Don't feel up to it" and anything & everything more urgent or important than that.

It's a hobby, not a job.

You can also make standard arrangements for alternative activities; e.g. playing Apples to Apples or Arkham Horror or whatever if the GM can't make it (assuming the game isn't scheduled at the GM's place) or if the GM doesn't feel up to running the game, or if enough of the group is unable to make it.

Red Fel
2014-02-01, 03:04 PM
I'd first note a difference between cancel and semi-cancel.

Cancel means "The heck with this, nobody bother attending, nothing will be happening, nope." Reasonable excuses in my mind include weather conditions, sickness or injury, personal or family crisis, or work, or a substantial majority of players not attending.

Semi-cancel means "You can show up, but I won't be running the game; you can run a one-shot if you like, or play cards or videogames or something, or hang out, but I can't run the game." Reasonable excuses include the DM being tired, being unprepared, or just having a lot of last-minute crap, or two or more players being unable to attend.

I emphasized the DM in the latter example, because I don't plan to call off the game just because one of my players is tired or unprepared; but, as DM, if I am tired or unprepared, the game simply won't happen to everyone's satisfaction. That said, I don't want to completely call off game night just because I'm not up to DMing; I might be up for a board game or poker or movies or something.

Note also that if I'm not just tired, but barely awake, crushed by a migraine, and leaking unnecessarily from one or more orifices, I would call that "sickness" and call off the session altogether.

Tengu_temp
2014-02-01, 03:04 PM
I go with the RL > RP principle. If real life gets in the way, be it lots of work, an illness, some kind of personal event or anything else, then it's much more important than having pretendy fun games and I cancel the game. It's regretful, but there's no point in running a bad game that won't be fun for you and the players, or one that will mess up your life because you prioritized it over something more important.

As a player, I'm always disappointed when a game is cancelled, but I also understand the DM's reasoning and feel no ire towards him. Now, if the DM cancels the game for stupid reasons, that's a different matter entirely - I had DMs who cancelled sessions because they just didn't feel like running, or because they got drunk right before the game for no reason and now feel sick. This kind of behaviour breaks the social obligation you forged with your friends when you decided to play a game together.

Jay R
2014-02-01, 03:19 PM
It's not merely a hobby, it's also a social commitment; people have made plans around it. It should be treated like any other social commitment - a party, date, dinner, etc.

Anything more important than gaming is a valid excuse - life, health, job, school, exhaustion. So yes, canceling was justified, but you should apologize for your inability to hold the game when you cancel.

Anything just as important as gaming is not an excuse to cancel , but is a valid reason not to schedule a game - sports, other games, dates, etc.

If it's a recurring game, I assume that I can cancel for the second reason only if I do so at a previous session, so nobody leaves the game expecting to come to the next game, only to have it canceled from under them. That way it's not really canceling it, but not scheduling it.

huttj509
2014-02-01, 03:43 PM
It's not merely a hobby, it's also a social commitment; people have made plans around it. It should be treated like any other social commitment - a party, date, dinner, etc.

Anything more important than gaming is a valid excuse - life, health, job, school, exhaustion. So yes, canceling was justified, but you should apologize for your inability to hold the game when you cancel.

Anything just as important as gaming is not an excuse to cancel , but is a valid reason not to schedule a game - sports, other games, dates, etc.

If it's a recurring game, I assume that I can cancel for the second reason only if I do so at a previous session, so nobody leaves the game expecting to come to the next game, only to have it canceled from under them. That way it's not really canceling it, but not scheduling it.

It also depends on who's planning to come, and how far.

If you know someone's going out of their way to be there (such as driving 2 hours), it's not classy to do it frivolously (though it isn't anyway).

If you know someone WENT out of their way (such as making sure their big project was done, kids settled, etc, to specifically carve out the block of time), it's definitely apology-deserving.

You still cancel if needed, absolutely, but it shifts the "how big of apology, and to whom."

I've encountered both of those, though not with cancelling, but with no-shows with no reason given, just "is X coming? Anyone know if he's just late, or..." that led to cancellations post-facto.

Slipperychicken
2014-02-01, 03:50 PM
[As a player]

I understand you guys have lives. If you can't make it, just notify me ideally a few days in advance. If it's the GMing itself which bothers you, then we can play video games or something instead, or I could try my hand at GMing a session.

BWR
2014-02-01, 03:52 PM
If I'm merely a bit tired or unprepared I'll apologize when the players show up and wing it. But yeah, RL trumps RP. In one of my groups at least one person is regularly absent due to RL stuff so we play without him. We go by a three player minimum. Any less and it stops being quite so fun, so we will often cancel.

Illness, work, serious lack of sleep, or just plain 'I really don't wanna today' are all good reasons to cancel.

TheOOB
2014-02-01, 03:56 PM
My group meets every week, and we have about one cancellation/moved day every month. It happens. During December I think we only had one week were we met at our normal time.

Pex
2014-02-01, 04:11 PM
As I mentioned in another thread my 13 year old group ended. This was part of the reason. The DM kept cancelling games. I accept that life happens. Spending a day playing a game is very much low on the totem pole of responsibilities. However, as an adult, this is "poker night with the guys". It's a social event that has value. Maybe I put more value in it than others.

When a game is cancelled of course I'm disappointed, but it's no big deal. Sometimes there is a real emergency or occurrence. We play next game and move on. If it becomes a pattern of cancellations, I get annoyed. When my group's game was put on hiatus for the third time I had enough and sought and found a second group. There were other issues I had with the DM's style, but I valued the game more so I ignored them. Not playing at all, that was a real bother. The game returned for a couple of months then put on hiatus for a fourth time, now becoming a permanent one.

With my now current group a game has not been cancelled. When a player or two can't make it our group is large enough to continue. We are bound by the host's work schedule. He's not always DM. We try to accommodate everyone to play twice a month - host priority, DM secondary since no DM means no game. If we can only play once during a month so be it, such as this January.

LibraryOgre
2014-02-01, 04:56 PM
Things come up. It's part of living in the world. The less warning I get, the more annoyed I'm likely to be, mind you... if someone sends a message out at 10am for a 10am game, I'm annoyed unless it's a genuinely last-minute thing... if you knew last night, tell ME last night, so I don't have to get over to you. But that's not "You canceled" so much as "You were disrespectful of my time in cancelling".

Amphetryon
2014-02-01, 05:19 PM
OP, I think your reasons for cancelling the session were valid.

As a DM and fellow Player, I admit I tend to be less understanding of Players cancelling, the more frequently a given Player does so, particularly when the cancellations are last minute. We don't game at my residence, and I don't drive; if I find I've had to walk to the game and folks cancelled during the time it took me to commute, I've been known to be grumpy about it.

Mr Beer
2014-02-01, 07:07 PM
Life happens, I expect some warning though.

If you're running 4 games each weekend and finding it stressful, I suggest cutting down before you burn out.

Darthteej
2014-02-01, 07:29 PM
Life happens, I expect some warning though.

If you're running 4 games each weekend and finding it stressful, I suggest cutting down before you burn out.

My wording was a little unclear n that one, I run one game on Saturday and on one on Sunday.

Mr Beer
2014-02-01, 09:44 PM
My wording was a little unclear n that one, I run one game on Saturday and on one on Sunday.

OK, that sounds less burdensome. Still, take this as a possible early warning and consider dropping a game if it becomes a continual problem.

mikeejimbo
2014-02-01, 09:51 PM
My group has two DMs that switch off every week, each running their own campaign (and we have different characters in each campaign). Every week we find out who can make the weekend's quest. If the DM scheduled can't make it, usually the other is willing to run two weeks in a row. Sometimes we'll cancel if not enough people can make it.

Trinoya
2014-02-01, 11:04 PM
Ok, so I've started this thread because I just cancelled a session today and I'm feeling really guilty about it. I usually run two games over the weekend, one for each day. Last night I barely got any sleep and I have a ton of schoolwork besides, so three hours before things were scheduled to start I sent my players a mass text and email that the session wouldn't be happening. My question to the Playground is: what do you consider a valid reason for cancelling as a DM, and how do you react as players when they do?

It is my opinion that you're better off not having any game than risking have a poor or bad game. I used to run 4 sessions a month while working 6 days a week, eventually it just becomes too much.

You shouldn't feel guilty, but also try to give as much notice as possible so people can salvage their days. You're only human and your own well being should come first before any game.

Name_Here
2014-02-03, 07:57 AM
Personally I only cancel when I`'ve lost a quorum of the group. For some sessions where not much of the story will be told I allow it to be like 3 players down for integral two players down it`s cancelling time.

But yeah that`s pretty much the only reason I cancel.

valadil
2014-02-03, 08:04 AM
Last night I barely got any sleep and I have a ton of schoolwork besides, so three hours before things were scheduled to start I sent my players a mass text and email that the session wouldn't be happening. My question to the Playground is: what do you consider a valid reason for cancelling as a DM, and how do you react as players when they do?

I've been to games like this except that the GM didn't cancel. All the players sat around waiting for the GM to wake up. Four or five hours after the game was supposed to start we'd get a tired, cranky GM who decides his headache is too much and we won't play after all.

Screw that, I'd rather have the cancellation.

Lorsa
2014-02-03, 08:18 AM
I typically have higher tolerance for GMs cancelling compared to players. If the GM for some reason is unable to hold a proper game (like being subject to fatigue or stress) then the proper course of action is to cancel. If a player is suffering from lack of sleep they can usually still play, although might ask for an earlier end time if they have a workday ahead of them.

Like Jay R says it's a social commitment and it's important that everyone values this commitment equally or else things can quickly become troublesome.

Telonius
2014-02-03, 08:29 AM
Life's emergencies do happen - to the OP's question, I'd consider health (of you or a family member), transportation breakdown, job emergency (i.e. boss calls you in outside of usual hours), household emergency (roof blew off, plumbing catastrophe), attending a funeral, that kind of thing, to be completely valid and understandable reasons to cancel on short notice. "Physically exhausted" falls under health. If you can't keep your eyes open, you're not going to be able to play a character, let alone be a DM. As long as you let the rest of the group know as soon as possible (cell phones and email are easy enough to get to), it's not a problem.

There are definitely other non-emergency reasons to cancel on longer notice. Anniversaries, family in town, major planned-for life events (attending a wedding, need to see your kid play in the Big Game, receiving an award at the Society of Whatever's annual meeting). Those are also totally cancel-able, and more important than D&D. D&D is part of your life; it shouldn't be the whole thing.

That said, the game is also social commitment that you should plan around. If you know you're going to be absent ahead of time, give the group some warning. At the very least, the session before you know you're going to be gone, make sure everybody knows you won't be there. (Completely forgetting about the session or not mentioning it afterwards are different situations entirely).

Zavoniki
2014-02-03, 08:38 AM
It happens all the time for all kinds of reasons. Honestly I'd be ok with a player not coming to a session because they just didn't want to Roleplay that day.

I play RPGs for fun. If people aren't going to have fun, they shouldn't come.

obryn
2014-02-03, 09:19 AM
"Don't feel up to it" and anything & everything more urgent or important than that.

It's a hobby, not a job.
Yep. All I ask of my players is enough notice to cancel or make alternate arrangements if I need to.

We're all getting older - married, and most with families. Between kids and grown-up responsibilities, it can be tough.

We've had a run of weeks where a few players couldn't make it but have filled the time with Conquest of Nerath. Which, btw, is an AMAZING game.

Raimun
2014-02-03, 10:55 AM
It's completely okay if you have to cancel because of illness, some kind of crisis, etc. Sometimes, things just are out of your control.

If you have to cancel because of conflicting schedules, I might not appreciate it.

It's one thing to tell well in advance: "We can't play next week/the usual day." That's okay. Sometimes it is just impossible to arrange a meeting between 4+ people. There's no harm done. I can plan something else for that day as well.

It is an other thing to cancel a few hours before the session because: "OMG! I promised to do something else and forgot to tell you guys!" or "I forgot I need to write a book sized essay!". Don't be that guy.

Point is, there are actual and valid RL-reasons and then there's just poor scheduling.

Either way, if you feel bad about canceling but could actually play some other day, do suggest the other day. Who knows, things might click together and you will still play that week.

GungHo
2014-02-03, 10:59 AM
Things come up. It's part of living in the world. The less warning I get, the more annoyed I'm likely to be, mind you... if someone sends a message out at 10am for a 10am game, I'm annoyed unless it's a genuinely last-minute thing... if you knew last night, tell ME last night, so I don't have to get over to you. But that's not "You canceled" so much as "You were disrespectful of my time in cancelling".

Yeah, this one is really along my line of thought. Just give me a timely heads up. Don't call me when I'm a block away from your place... unless it's something that is actually urgent, like "my toilet just exploded, five minutes ago".

LibraryOgre
2014-02-03, 12:33 PM
Yeah, this one is really along my line of thought. Just give me a timely heads up. Don't call me when I'm a block away from your place... unless it's something that is actually urgent, like "my toilet just exploded, five minutes ago".

And, in that case, my usual response is gonna be "Oh, ****, man, can I help with anything?"

I've had it happen. And it's not like I haven't already blocked out the time for game.

veti
2014-02-03, 04:47 PM
+1 to "notify players in advance, and offer an (optional) alternative activity instead". I suggest Munchkin (http://www.worldofmunchkin.com/game/).

huttj509
2014-02-03, 04:57 PM
Yeah, this one is really along my line of thought. Just give me a timely heads up. Don't call me when I'm a block away from your place... unless it's something that is actually urgent, like "my toilet just exploded, five minutes ago".

I've had someone get a text "X can't make it, he hit a car."

Which, if you're in the position to be sending that text to a group of X's friends, INCLUDE WHETHER HE'S OK!

Amphetryon
2014-02-03, 05:07 PM
I've had someone get a text "X can't make it, he hit a car."

Which, if you're in the position to be sending that text to a group of X's friends, INCLUDE WHETHER HE'S OK!

Though, given some of the people I've gamed with over the years (and some of the horror stories I've read about psycho Players), "X hit a car" could well mean "X got mad and punched a car that may or may not have been moving at the time."

gellerche
2014-02-05, 01:27 PM
I've had someone get a text "X can't make it, he hit a car."

Which, if you're in the position to be sending that text to a group of X's friends, INCLUDE WHETHER HE'S OK!

And can we have his character do all the really dangerous jobs tonight?

Figgin of Chaos
2014-02-05, 10:37 PM
My group usually plays in groups of 5 (including the GM), so we'll usually cancel if one player can't make it. After all, what's the point of finishing the campaign faster if we don't all remember it?

Given enough prep time, we'll do a one-shot. Sometimes we'll do something else instead.

I'm mostly on the "it's a hobby" side of the spectrum of opinions. I've done a game or two that ended up being more focused on playing the campaign than on the players just hanging out and having a good time; didn't turn out great.

mikeejimbo
2014-02-06, 04:57 PM
Sometimes we'll have filler episodes.

BWR
2014-02-06, 05:05 PM
Slight addendum to my earlier post, I do think it quite impolite to cancel because some other commonly occurring event pops up. For a period in school the host of our games would cancel almost weekly because he wanted to party instead. Now it's annoying to have friends drop out because of other things they find more fun, but regularly agreeing to something then dropping it because you found something else to do is just impolite.

lotusblossom13
2014-02-06, 05:24 PM
I think it is absolutely okay for a GM to cancel a session if the cancellation only happens rarely. I once had a GM, try to run a game while he was literally exhausted. After getting a night's sleep, I talked to him the next day, and he couldn't remember about an hour's worth of play time. During that hour he made questionable story decisions which would have long impact on the story he was telling. So, the ability to be physically present isn't always a good reason to hold a game.

That said, if the cancellations happen very frequently (i.e. one or more out of every three games is cancelled), or one player expects no one else to play if they are absent, I would say that is unacceptable.

nyjastul69
2014-02-06, 08:53 PM
Your reasons were valid. I'm in agreement with most of the sentiments here, RL sometimes gets in the way of my hobby. It happens, as they say.

I actually had to cancel our 2 most recent sessions due to work considerations (we play weekly). In both cases it was due to show removal. The first was because I had to be at work at 0 dark thirty and worked 12 hrs shoveling and snow blowing. I could have hosted the session, but I was physically exhausted and simply not up for the game or GMing. In the second case I had to work late due to when the storm hit.