Optimize Everything

[Meowmasterish]

On this thread I want people to optimize everything. Doesn't really matter how you do it. Just do it. I'll do the first 2:

1. Artificer: Make it a Midgard Dwarf (Frostburn). Realize there's not really a point to being an Artificer anymore. Give up.

2. Sorcerer: Make it a Spellhoarding Loredrake Dragonwrought Kobold Sorcerer. Optimize it like a wizard. Realize that you're more powerful than any wizard, yet you basically are one. Give up.

[Rubik]

3. Psion: Take Supernatural Transformation [Psionics] to ensure your ML = HD. Take at least 9 levels in psion and three levels in illithid savant (stealing the metamind's font of power ability). Psionic Dominate on the highest level bruiser you can find, hitting it as many times as it takes to affect it while bending the action economy backwards to do so in one turn. Buying an erudite's Soul Crystal of Gate would work, too, in order to grab a super high-HD critter, such as a hagunemnon. Manifest Metamorphosis to match your type to the critter, then use either a power stone or a Soul Crystal of Fusion and Astral Seed, then off yourself. Retrain all of those racial HD into class levels (up to psion 20, followed by illithid savant and epic illithid savant). Use illithid savant to steal a StP erudite's ability to learn powers, use tricks to gain every pre-epic spell and power in the entire game (and there are multitudinous ways to do this; pick one you like). Repeat the Dominate/Fusion/Astral Seed combo on a devastation beetle after repeatedly casting Polymorph Any Object to bypass its [mind-affecting] immunity, infect yourself with as many strains of lycanthropy as you can to gain massive numbers of animal HD, and hire a bard to use Inspire Greatness for an extra +2 HD. Retrain all of those HD into more illithid savant. Use Shapechange to become an ooze and split yourself in half via the Split ability and slashing damage. Retrain all of your clone's levels as you like, or just retrain all of the illithid savant abilities into others. Fusion/Astral Seed with it. Create an ice assassin of an aleax of yourself using Eschew Materials, retrain, repeat the Fusion/Astral Seed thing. Repeat with a dvati so your mind is in multiple bodies. Use Shapechange to become an ooze with the Split ability, so now you have lots and lots and lots of dvati bodies, all joined at the soul. Metamorphosis into a tree. Manifest a massively metapsionic'd Awaken on yourself, using multiple applications of Empower Power and Epic Psionic Focus to apply it as many times as possible to gain huge Int, Wis, and Cha scores. Take Leadership or thrallherd, gather together the worst of the worst murderers, rapists, cultists, and so on. People who need to be gotten rid of for the betterment of the world. Thrall them up and Mind Seed them all. Store them on your Sanctum Spell'd Shades demiplane, which runs at a 1,000,000-to-1 speed compared to the Material Plane. Use them to mitigate DCs for epic spellcasting.

Now you know every spell and power in the game, have tons of invulnerable bodies all hiveminded together, have infinite pp using font of power and the Temporal Reiteration power, have every class ability and racial ability and feat and skill you could ever want, and can research and cast as many epic spells as you want as, basically, a free action.

PS: I've looked up every animal (lycanthrope) and vermin (entomanthrope) that can be taken, and I've tallied up the HD. Turns out I can gain 1,065 HD just from taking those templates for all available animals and vermin.