silly custom items.

[shylocke]

What is the strangest/stupidest/silliest custom item you have made or used?
I ran around with a carrion crawler on a stick ones. Nonmagic staff of paralyze FTW

[Snowbluff]

I had a cursed katana on my Iaijutsu build. I would drop it after each attack and try to draw another weapon, which always produced the katana I had enhanced with my Fiend of Possession Cohort.

[shylocke]

My dm magical trapped a bed with cure minor wounds once a minute. 50 of those during a siege is useful.

[shylocke]

I also built a boat once. It was the best investment that party's rogue ever made. Paid for half of the starting boat. Which was 10k gp each. Then I put over 500k gp into it myself. When I find my sheet for it , I'll post it.

[Kalaska'Agathas]

Removable +30 Intimidate Eyeballs.

[georgie_leech]

I make a point of including at least one item every campaign that's completely out there, just to see if my players can find a use for it. Notable examples include a kind of silly putty-esque substance that, 3 times only, could be shaped into any rigid item, taking the form of whatever shape it's in (after wasting 2 attempts on silly things, the third was when they jammed it into a key hole they couldn't find the key for and made it solid), a rod that could command a specific statue (they could choose which one to attune it to) to assume any facial expression or make any gesture that the holder made (they used it to send a message via sign language, warning a town of an impending attack) and a bucket that, six seconds after no one is holding it, it flips over. That last one is from my current group, and they've yet to find a use for that one.

[Thurbane]

One I read about here a while back (and I'm totally going to steal for my next game): a continual item of Cure Minor Wounds, which was a teddy bear that had to be hugged to activate. So to get your 1 hp/round out of combat healing, you had to hug a stuffed children's toy. The mental image of a fierce berserker hugging a teddy is hilarious to me.

For extra laughs, make it an intelligent talking item. Every time you hug it it says "I wuv you". :smalltongue:

[shylocke]

Remember the bag of devouring cursed item? Out that on a suit of full plate so the the second time you out it on the is a chance it tries to eat you. Pretty much guaranteed death.

[Invader]

I gave the party druid an item that caused stray cats to constantly follow him around.

[shylocke]

Magic can of tuna?

[weckar]

Gary, is that you?


Anyway, my favorite item was probably the quick-release rod. It looked like an immovable rod, it felt like an immovable rod, when you activated it it even acted like an immovable rod... until you put any sort of external pressure on it which would make it immediately de-activate.

[YossarianLives]

Amulets of "Protection" from certain types of monsters. But they really turned you into said monster.

The party paladin got turned into a devil:smallbiggrin:

[Alent]

I think my silliest custom item was an MIC item used absurdly: We had a four armed anthro-wolf fighter who wore our enveloping pit fortess as a loincloth, opening side out.

So we were always saying the command word then climbing into his crotch.

[Bakeru]

One I read about here a while back (and I'm totally going to steal for my next game): a continual item of Cure Minor Wounds, which was a teddy bear that had to be hugged to activate. So to get your 1 hp/round out of combat healing, you had to hug a stuffed children's toy. The mental image of a fierce berserker hugging a teddy is hilarious to me.

For extra laughs, make it an intelligent talking item. Every time you hug it it says "I wuv you". :smalltongue:Please, tell me you called it the Care Bear, or at least the Cure Bear...

[kroonermanblack]

I made a helmet of 'create water' and 'heat' or whatever the appropriate spell-effects would be in DnD, for a kobold artificer I didn't end up playing.

Called it my souphat.

[Bullet06320]

the infantry is coming, the infantry is coming
I adapted an old boyscout skit into an adventure once
I had a goblin run into the middle of the camp randomly at night yelling the infantry is coming, several times, the last time he dropped a bucket with a tree planted in it.
the bucket was really a decanter of endless water that was painted and the words infantry scrawled on it, and the tree was a baby treant that wasn't old enuf to walk yet, there was now an angry treant out there try to find its babies, lol

[Omegas]

The Mace of Dysentery
+2 Bedpan on a Stick.
On crit burst effect (messy) + Dazed

[Manly Man]

I made a greathammer one time that I called the Acid Hammer, and no, it didn't do acid damage. What it did was it automatically dazzled opponents on a hit, dazed them on a critical, and they had to make a Fortitude save or be nailed with a confusion spell on top of the dazing.

I listened to way too much Psykosonik when I made that.

[Sir Chuckles]

My DM once had me search a small house, as the rest of the party had their thumbs up each other's bums.

"A toilet is a terrible place for a spike trap."
- Rage Mage, as he thanks the universe for Mithral armor.

I'm also partial to giving my players Marvelous Pigments. In turn, one of my players made me proud by using it to make a fountain pen, and then drawing the paint with said pen.

[Jergmo]

I've thrown a few random, seemingly useless magic items at players before.

One was a scripture book which read itself aloud (someone felt it made more sense to enchant a book than teach the lower class how to read).

Use found: distraction causing monsters to enter an ambush.

[Malimar]

Wand of identify that turned any item it was used on neon pink. Never seen a party try to get rid of an item so fast...

[ericgrau]

A DM gave us a few such items once but the one I remember is the flying toilet seat. You had to sit on it to activate. It only had average maneuverability and it made your legs fall asleep for a while after using it. Nobody wanted to carry it so as the dwarf-mule I lugged it around without claiming official ownership. We were fleeing swarms on a DM-invented 30 foot greased floor. I was having trouble making my balance checks and crawling was a bit slow over such a large area. So I flew through the opening to the next floor and landed there.

[Thurbane]

I made a helmet of 'create water' and 'heat' or whatever the appropriate spell-effects would be in DnD, for a kobold artificer I didn't end up playing.

Called it my souphat.
Sounds nasty if you try to activate the helmet while wearing it!

[Afgncaap5]

I don't know if I'd count it as a "silly" item per se, but before going into a sweltering jungle in an Eberron campaign, a player wanted to know if he could buy a magical air conditioner of some sort. I quickly whipped together an Eberron shard that had been imbued with a very weakened "Gust of Wind" spell for a few hundred gold. His character still pulls it out whenever it's implied that the day is hot or humid.

[Manly Man]

I don't know if I'd count it as a "silly" item per se, but before going into a sweltering jungle in an Eberron campaign, a player wanted to know if he could buy a magical air conditioner of some sort. I quickly whipped together an Eberron shard that had been imbued with a very weakened "Gust of Wind" spell for a few hundred gold. His character still pulls it out whenever it's implied that the day is hot or humid.

And then, when he steps into a wild magic area that's warm, he pulls it out and WHOOSH- there goes his face.

[Mandark]

Making a morningstar with a 25% chance of causing a d100 random effect. including, but not limited to,
making cursed beards grow/shrink

thunderstones to randomly appear, and go off unless the party is quick enough


target gets hit with tangle foot bag effects


the head detaches and shoots away, then returns hitting all in a line


grease fountain


and many others


almost all effects can stack. Designed for a raptorian. he he he.

[Brookshw]

After a player misread the gloves of epic dexterity my group ended up getting a pair of gloves of epic dentistry. Go go disarming bite attacks.

[Nibbens]

Every game I ever started with my group always began with the purchase of a wagon and a horse to pull it. Not abnormal in the slightest.
However, what was interesting was the way they used it. The barbarian would often flip it over to give the hafling ranged fighter / rogue something to hide under during fights.
Out of fights, flipping it, it would become a giant tent for everyone to sleep under, etc.
One time everyone was balancing on it during an ankeg attack (think the movie Tremors) so they weren't pulled under.
Simple woodworking craft checks turned the wagon into a boat and back again several times. Also, this worked as a sled once to escape a frostgiant by sliding down the snowy mountainside.
Every game started with a wagon, and they wouldn't go anywhere without one.

[TheMonocleRogue]

My DM has the habit of placing innocuous intelligent items into his campaign. My favorite was an intelligent plunger found in an abandoned outhouse on the outskirts of town. It functioned as a +1 thundering club that had grease as an at will spell-like ability.

The plunger continuously commented on the hygiene of the party members and would force them to roll personality conflict checks to clean places that were otherwise dirty.

Later on the party went on a sewer run to find out where all the filth was coming from and ended up fighting a pack of Otyughs. For flavor purposes the plunger counted as a bane weapon when fighting against them.

[Telonius]

Most amusing: the Sap of Healing. Created by Clerics of St. Cuthbert, it delivers a Cure Light Wounds spell similar to a Wand, but in order to activate it you have to whap the target with the sap.

[Thurbane]

That reminds me of a +1 Merciful Spiked Gauntlet: The Cestus of Mercy (is funniest if you say it with an Irish lilt). Sisters of Mercy