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Ranting Fool
2014-02-24, 09:04 PM
Hey guys I need a little help picking spells and some fluff in the campaign I'm running. There are a whole host of minor Gods and I'm using the Spontaneous Divine Caster rules.

So clerics are basically favored souls with Domains and Turn Undead.

One of these random churches is devoted to the God of Money/Trade/Acquisition.

If any of you have ever seen Startreck Deep Space Nine you know what these priests are going to be like :smalltongue:

I want NPC priests to do slightly edited versions of these quotes mainly because some of my players are big old treckies and will find it rather funny. All suggestions welcome :smallbiggrin:


Once you have their money ... never give it back.
Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
A man is only worth the sum of his possessions. (From Enterprise, episode "Acquisition"; sloppy script-writing, as rule 6 (see above) was already given in DS9)
Keep your ears open.
Small print leads to large risk.
Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
Greed is eternal.
Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
A deal is a deal ... until a better one comes along.
A contract is a contract is a contract (but only between Ferengi).
A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
Never place friendship above profit.
A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
Nothing is more important than your health--except for your money.
There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother ... insult something he cares about instead.
It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
War is good for business.
Peace is good for business.
She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
Profit is its own reward.
Never confuse wisdom with luck.
Expand, or die.
Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
Females and finance don't mix.
Never ask when you can take.
Good customers are as rare as latinum -- treasure them.
There is no substitute for success.
Free advice is seldom cheap.
Keep your lies consistent.
The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
Win or lose, there's always Hyperian beetle snuff.
Home is where the heart is ... but the stars are made of latinum.
Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
Females and finances don't mix.
Enough ... is never enough.
Every man has his price. (DS9 season 6, episode 19 - "In the Pale Moonlight")
Trust is the biggest liability of all.
Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
Sleep can interfere with profit. (DS9 season 2, episode 7 - "Rules of Acquisition")
Faith moves mountains ... of inventory.
There is no honour in poverty.
Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them.
Never have sex with the boss's sister.
Always have sex with the boss.
You can't free a fish from water.
Everything is for sale, even friendship.
Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
You can't make a deal if you're dead. (DS9 season 7, episode 8 - "The Siege of AR-558")
Wives serve, brothers inherit.
Only fools pay retail.
There's nothing wrong with charity ... as long as it winds up in your pocket.
Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
Whisper your way to success. (DS9 season 7, episode 9 - "Covenant")
Know your enemies ... but do business with them always.
Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
Hear all, trust nothing.
Never cheat a Klingon ... unless you're sure you can get away with it.
It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in the door.
The justification for profit is profit.
New customers are like razortoothed grubworms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they can bite back.
Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
Employees are rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.
You can't free a fish from water.
Always know what you're buying.
Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
Latinum lasts longer than lust.
You can't buy fate.
Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
More is good ... all is better.
A wife is a luxury ... a smart accountant is a necessity.
A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
Never allow doubt to tarnish your love of latinum.
When in doubt, lie.
Deep down everyone's a Ferengi.
No good deed ever goes unpunished.
[Quark's rule] When Morn leaves, it's all over.

But I'm also looking for fluffy spell suggestions.

ZamielVanWeber
2014-02-24, 09:25 PM
The Greed domain is a great start for these guys. Focus on compulsions and divinations (to find the best prices!)

Palanan
2014-02-24, 09:35 PM
Just as a minor edit to your list, you have "You can't free a fish from water" mentioned twice.

You might also look at the Trade and Wealth domains, which are thematically appropriate. And the spell Listening Coin (SpC, p. 133) could be very handy, and it's exactly the sort of thing the Ferengi would use.

Particle_Man
2014-02-25, 01:14 AM
Females and finance don't mix is also mentioned twice.

Is this church going to be as sexist as the Ferengi were?

Ranting Fool
2014-02-25, 06:52 AM
Females and finance don't mix is also mentioned twice.

Is this church going to be as sexist as the Ferengi were?

Nope, the quotes are just a copy and paste from a "list of quotes" on a 5 second google. It says that there are repeats because the show lists them as such and blames bad writing / actors getting the lines wrong.

It's not even going to be a church of any one race either. As I like to think all races can be equally greedy and self serving.

HighWater
2014-02-25, 07:50 AM
Most of that list is good to go, really. Just swap out latinum for platinum (d'oh), and Ferengi for whatever your order of priest is.

If you go by the adagio that money is the Great Motivator (and every cleric of this religion will believe this), you don't even need to look for the money-fluffed spells, most spells are -very- easily refluffed using a money-idol as a divine focus, a very small sample suggestion (including some arcane):

Alarm: Arcane Focus: Bag of money (you're "paying" someone to watch your stuff)

Bless: The verbal component is shouting out: think of all the money we'll make off of these enemies we're killing! *cue magical morale boost*

Bless/Curse Water are -already- good to go.

Command: focus: moneeeeyyyy. It's basically bribing, but without having to actually fork over money.

Endure elements: summons a heating/cooling apparatus which is, you guessed it, purchased by money...

Hypnotism: Replace droning incantation by the sound of stacking coins and playing with them --> voila, everybody's hypnotised by money's appeal...

Sanctuary: Look, don't attack me and I'll pay you, alright?... *cue divine compulsion not to attack priest*

Basically anything that could conceivably be fixed by throwing money at it is -very- easily converted to a money-dominated religion.

Telonius
2014-02-25, 07:59 AM
There's a sucker in every market. If you can't figure out who it is, leave immediately; it's you.

hemming
2014-02-25, 08:06 AM
Well...I would like to see such a church be mostly non-human just to hear the followers talk about how foolish the hugh-mons are.

Ferengi have hundreds of words for rain...you could incorporate it if you think they would get the reference

I'm surprised these two gems of wisdom missed the list:

"Exploitation begins at home"

"Thank someone after you exploit them...That way its easier to exploit them next time"