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Alejandro
2014-02-25, 12:49 PM
For fun, inspired by the Declaration of Independence from a Bad GM, let's try:

The Bill of Rights of the Gaming Table (as interpreted from the American Bill of Rights, or the first ten amendments to the US Constitution)

1. Gamers shall make no law respecting an establishment of a certain type of gaming, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of players to control their characters, or of their roleplaying; or the right of the players peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Game Master for a redress of grievances.

2. A well regulated Game Master, being necessary to the security of a healthy gaming group, the right of the Game Master to keep and bear responsibility and respect, shall not be infringed.

3. No Gamer shall, in time of gaming be required to host the game, without the consent of the Gamer.

4. The right of the Gamers to be secure in their persons, houses, character sheets, and dice, against unreasonable searches and dice borrowing, shall not be violated, and no Rules Lawyering shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or Sourcebook, and particularly describing the rule to be searched, and the PC or dice to be banned.

5. No Gamer shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous Gaming Crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Gamer's Jury, except in cases arising in such times as the Gamer is causing public danger; nor shall any Gamer be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of forced rerolling or ban; nor shall be compelled in any gaming criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of dice, liberty, or property, without due process of the Game Master; nor shall private property be taken for public use, especially dice or pizza, without just compensation.

6. In all gaming criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the Gaming Group wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by the Gamers, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation (and the sourcebook and page in cases of rules disputes) to be confronted with the witnesses or random encounters against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining henchmen or other NPCs in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Gaming Forums Such As the Order Of the Stick for his defence.

7. In suits at common gaming law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars or two pizzas, the right of trial by gamer jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any court of the Gaming Group, than according to the rules of the common gaming law.

8. Excessive apologies shall not be required, nor excessive fines of treasure and magical or otherwise valuable loots imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted, unless the Gamer is unanimously agreed to be a right douchebag by their Peers.

9. The enumeration in the Constitution of the Gaming Table, or within the listings of any sourcebook, of certain rights, feats, talents, or other such powers, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the Gamers.

10. The powers not delegated to the Gaming Group by the Game Master, nor prohibited by it to the Gamers, are reserved to the Gamers respectively, or to the Gaming Group.

AMFV
2014-02-25, 11:21 PM
I was going to write a point by point response, but it could be summarized more efficiently. Overall the legalese is confusing, the forced adherence to the regular bill of rights creates a system where not all issues can be discussed and it gets confusing and possibly overwrought because of this, particularly in the case of amendments such as the first, which doesn't really apply in that respect to intra-group rules, or shouldn't.

TheIronGolem
2014-02-26, 12:08 AM
Seconded. You're hung up on the gimmick here. It's too unwieldly to work as a catalyst for discussion, and too dry to work as a humor piece.

Kesnit
2014-02-26, 06:51 AM
I'm going to disagree. (Of course, my opinion may be biased because I am a lawyer.)

I thought it was rather funny, and like how the OP took the original Bill of Rights and made it fit. Although I am amused at the mental image of a gaming group sitting as jury for one of their members while the DM presides.

TuggyNE
2014-02-26, 07:24 AM
It's amusing, but a little over-engineered for the job.

Of course, I'm not sure I'm the best one to ask, given my work on a similar subject in the past (in my sig, if you want to see).

Joe the Rat
2014-02-26, 10:14 AM
As a set of rights and rules it captures some key topics, but it is a little contrived.

As a humor piece, this is excellent. #8 is my favorite.

So where do we get to the three-fifths compromise on cohort and hireling XP?

Jay R
2014-02-26, 12:18 PM
You left out these:

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's character, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's dice, nor his feats, nor his items, nor anything that is thy neighbor's.

Remember the gaming day, to show up on time.

Honor thy character sheet and thy backstory.

(Or was that a different list?)

Alejandro
2014-02-26, 12:59 PM
I was entirely aiming for humor value. :) Especially if one is familiar with actual first ten amendments to the US Constitution.

Alejandro
2014-02-26, 01:04 PM
You left out these:

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's character, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's dice, nor his feats, nor his items, nor anything that is thy neighbor's.

Remember the gaming day, to show up on time.

Honor thy character sheet and thy backstory.

(Or was that a different list?)

That would be the Christian Ten Commandments, which I am sure could be even more easily rewritten for gaming.

CarpeGuitarrem
2014-02-26, 02:32 PM
Hehehehehe. The Fourth Gaming Amendment made me cackle inside.

Roland St. Jude
2014-02-27, 12:23 AM
Sheriff: Also, too political, and now too religious for this forum.