Morbid thought regarding Durkon

[rbetieh]

I was reading some posts elsewhere and I realized something that is on its face a bit disturbing....

For months, Durkon was standing upon the corpses of one of his most hated enemies the trees. Considering papercuts are considered Treevenge, I would have thought that he would have had serious problems with the idea of standing around on and sleeping in what is essentially a giant pine box. How was he able to take this so calmly? He might have literally danced on his enemies bodies....

[MesiDoomstalker]

Are you talking about the Mechane? Because I think its only been a day or two at most since he boarded. Not to mention its Not-Durkon in control of the body.

[rbetieh]

Are you talking about the Mechane? Because I think its only been a day or two at most since he boarded. Not to mention its Not-Durkon in control of the body.

Hinjos Junk actually

[MesiDoomstalker]

In that case, I think he had more pressing concerns than a running gag. Like the fate of his friends, of the tear in the universe, etc.

[eaglewingz]

I believe Durkon would be more considerate than to dance on Hinjo's junk.

[factotum]

Surely standing on the corpse of a fallen enemy is something he'd celebrate? And it can't be the first time it's happened, either--I bet pretty much all the floors he's been standing on while inside human buildings are wooden ones, too!

[Grey Watcher]

Well, I imagine that Hinjo's Junk is well-polished. Indeed, I'm sure he has many people whose sole duty is to see that everything is smooth and pleasant to the touch. After all, we can't have a monarch's personal junk prone to having pieces break off in the middle of use. That would be scandalous!

[Vinyadan]

The only good tree is a dead tree. So, lotsa good trees in the fleet.

Also, congrats to Grey Watcher for giving new lymph to an old strip :smallbiggrin:

[Seto]

I believe Durkon would be more considerate than to dance on Hinjo's junk.

I just have to hand it to you, that sentence made me burst into laughter.

[LordRahl6]

I'm trying to recall this correctly from the MM but doesn't a vampire need the soil from his grave to line his coffin, or is that just in the traditional stories?:smallconfused:

Edit: Thanks Keltest for the assistance!:smallwink:

[snikrept]

Given the racial hangup with trees perhaps we'll see some tree-related trophies and such in the dwarven lands. Like a helmet or armor with branches on it instead of, say, bull horns or bear claws. Taking the carcass of the fearsome beast for one's own, & etc.

[KillianHawkeye]

Maybe Durkon doesn't know what boats are made of?

[Keltest]

I'm trying to recall this correctly from the MM but doesn't a vampire need the soil from his grave to line his coffin, or is that just in the traditional stories?:smallconfused:

That is not a rule in D&D that I have heard about. Besides which, not all vampires (like Durkon) were buried.

[Grey Watcher]

I'm trying to recall this correctly from the MM but doesn't a vampire need the soil from his grave to line his coffin, or is that just in the traditional stories?:smallconfused:

Edit: Thanks Keltest for the assistance!:smallwink:

As mentioned above, I don't believe that's in any of the official rules. It is a plot point in Dracula. Whether Stoker found such legends in research or just made it up, I don't know.

[Vinyadan]

Maybe Durkon doesn't know what boats are made of?

That seems likely to me.

[Jaxzan Proditor]

Durkon is so fond of Hinjo's junk, he doesn't care what it's made of.

[rbetieh]

Maybe Durkon doesn't know what boats are made of?

But it floats, and therefore made of wood, and therefore...

[KillianHawkeye]

But it floats, and therefore made of wood, and therefore...

You're assuming that Durkon is aware of wood's buoyant properties. Also, wood is not the only thing that floats in water.

Besides, boats function mostly on the principle of water displacement rather than actual buoyancy. A boat made of steel will still float.

[BaronOfHell]

Everything that floats is everything that floats.

[rbetieh]

You're assuming that Durkon is aware of wood's buoyant properties. Also, wood is not the only thing that floats in water.

Besides, boats function mostly on the principle of water displacement rather than actual buoyancy. A boat made of steel will still float.

An alternate explanation of what I may or may not be doing with my last comment could be remembering when it is or is not appropriate to burn witches....

Nah, I am assuming that Durkon is wise in the ways of science :-D

[goodpeople25]

But it floats, and therefore made of wood, and therefore...

burn the tree!!!

[MagicalMeat]

...therefore, if it weights as much as a duck, it must be a witch's boat (geez people, can't you see the obvious reference :smallwink:)

[Vinyadan]

If I have to be serious, Durkon's hammer shaft could be made of wood. Like having a sword whose hilt was carved out of your enemy's bones. And he could have been dancing the cruelty dance for months in that ship. And that's why he always had walk on water prepared: he was fearing some sort of measureless treevenge with the whole fleet sinking to spite him.

...so becoming a vampire may have been karma, now that I think about it.

Ok, maybe not so serious.

[Keltest]

...therefore, if it weights as much as a duck, it must be a witch's boat (geez people, can't you see the obvious reference :smallwink:)

yeah, but now we have to put a quarter in the "monty python refrence" jar.

[rbetieh]

If I have to be serious, Durkon's hammer shaft could be made of wood. Like having a sword whose hilt was carved out of your enemy's bones. And he could have been dancing the cruelty dance for months in that ship. And that's why he always had walk on water prepared: he was fearing some sort of measureless treevenge with the whole fleet sinking to spite him.

...so becoming a vampire may have been karma, now that I think about it.

Ok, maybe not so serious.

And now the vampire him is walking around holding Malacks evil magic wooden staff.....It's all just a little morbid when you reduce it down to it's simplest elements...

[KillianHawkeye]

And now the vampire him is walking around holding Malacks evil magic wooden staff.....It's all just a little morbid when you reduce it down to it's simplest elements...

A staff is not always made of wood, y'know. :smallwink:

[Vinyadan]

A staff is not always made of wood, y'know. :smallwink:

Especially if it's the one Malak helps himself with when making children :winkwinknudgenudge:

[MagicalMeat]

Especially if it's the one Malak helps himself with when making children :winkwinknudgenudge:

I get that you are implying something naughty, but have no clue as to what exactly you are implying.

[Jaxzan Proditor]

I get that you are implying something naughty, but have no clue as to what exactly you are implying.

He's implying that Malak uses a different sort of "staff" for making children; staff being a euphemism for something completely different.

[KillianHawkeye]

He's implying that Malak uses a different sort of "staff" for making children; staff being a euphemism for something completely different.

It's the "staff" that men have between their legs. :smallwink::smallbiggrin::smallsmile::smallcool:

[rbetieh]

It's the "staff" that men have between their legs. :smallwink::smallbiggrin::smallsmile::smallcool:

If you have to explain the joke...oh forget it :smallbiggrin:

But yeah, the thing that Durkon demanded Laurin return looks to have been made of tree parts, not metal or stone, or chocolate for that matter.

[KillianHawkeye]

But yeah, the thing that Durkon demanded Laurin return looks to have been made of tree parts, not metal or stone, or chocolate for that matter.

How can you tell? Just because it's brown? :smallconfused:

[ti'esar]

Back before it was established that the vampire wasn't Durkon, I remember a lot of people coming at this from a different angle: becoming a vampire had finally given substance to his fear of trees, because what's a vampire's biggest weakness (besides sunlight)? A wooden stake.

[Jaxzan Proditor]

How can you tell? Just because it's brown? :smallconfused:
I would say that Nale throws it too far (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0906.html) for it be solid stone or metal, and chocolate would probably melt in the desert heat.

[LordRahl6]

Back before it was established that the vampire wasn't Durkon, I remember a lot of people coming at this from a different angle: becoming a vampire had finally given substance to his fear of trees, because what's a vampire's biggest weakness (besides sunlight)? A wooden stake.

Aye, there's something that the vampire HPoH and Durkon would theoretically have in common. Whether that's true is another question, being in the same category as boat, carts, handles of weapons largely among other things Durkon been around.:smallwink: