Quirky and Interesting NPCs

[Blackhawk748]

Im planning out a campaign and im trying to think up all sorts of interesting NPCs, so far i have a Gem Appraiser who has a Dutch accent and is quite jolly, a goblin farmer, and a gnomish sheriff based off of Matt Dillon. So in trying to get ideas for interesting NPCs id like to hear about any interesting NPCs you've encountered in your travels.

[Slylizard]

I had an Orc tailor once, modeled his personality off the flamboyant gay stereotype.

[FrznTear]

a 12 year old girl who wants to conquer the world

a mute paladin with a mount that can talk

a warforged cook named spatula who can't taste the food they makes

[Tevesh]

Changeling bestiary expert who had breasts because "breasts are awesome."

Looney Mayor that used various spells from their former adventuring as a Sorcerer to rig the election.

Having a monster speak really dumb in Common and then when the PCs switch to their native tongue they suddenly got all dapper.

[MadGreenSon]

Heroic knight-type who's genuinely a good guy; generous, diplomatic, good humored and not one to lose his temper much... Except with his younger, swashbuckling brother who constantly gets into violent romantic entanglements and ends up dragging them back to his brother's doorstep.
(Twofer!)

Half-golem paladin who stubbornly holds on to his humanity by adhering closely and harshly to his code, using his unnatural abilities to do so, but needs help to retain true contact with humanity.


Look through movies and literature and steal general ideas, characterization, etc. all over the place. Try and keep most references as subtle as possible, but media of all kinds is a goldmine.

[Scarce]

A warforged artist named Florin Freeforged (trying to emphasize his living side) who builds and tries to sell very poor "self-portraits" made from cobbled together pieces of armor welded together.

An orc sailor named Captain Urgog offers to transport the adventurers to a place others cannot or are unwilling to go. He arranges to meet the party at the docks, but has no ship; instead, he whistles and calls for Susan, and his trained dragon turtle, with several jumper seats mounted to its shell, emerges from underwater.

Professor Osrad Turser is purportedly an expert of magical identification at the Moregrave University. More often, his 'identification' services involve the summoning, questioning, and bargaining with devils from the sanctity of his office. Where he gets the supply of souls to conduct his work is anyone's guess.

[EugeneVoid]

420 blz it

[John Longarrow]

For making memorable NPCs I do several things for each that make them more "REAL".

1) For each NPC I choose one or more motivations. Why are they doing what they do? Is it because they love baking and selling bread? Is it because they need to support an extended family? Is it because they have some hidden reason that they are covering for?

2) Mannerisms. How do they sit/stand? Are they stooped over? Do they sit on a stool with their legs up (more perched that sitting)? Do they wring their hands constantly while talking?

3) Appearance. I often keep notes on what each NPC looks like to include normal clothing / notable features

4) How they talk. How does their voice sound? What speech mannerisms do they have?

5) Areas of knowledge/apparent skills.

By keeping some simple notes for each NPC I hope that ALL of my NPCs come across as unique individuals that can/should be memorable.

[Albions_Angel]

An NPC that features a lot in our Campaign is one that noone has ever met. He comes from my characters homeland and has been dead for some time. His name is Confusus. Thats right, its a joke on the famous chinese spiritual leader.

Confusus came up from a conversation with the Underdark Buddists (yup). The Buddists are followers of the "Face of Bud", a talking door. Their leader is the young and enigmatic Bud's Light (you can see where the DM was going with this). Well he met my character, a wise gray elf ninja, and they got to talking (half the party was in the bathroom so we were chatting). When they came back, Confusus had manifested in the form of a little book, carried by my character. This book contains the teachings followed by the Confusonists and more or less is comprised of the Confucius Jokes people tell now and other stupid words of wisdom.

Every week, this list gets added to as I think of things. Such words of wisdom include "To divine weather, do not concern yourself with mirrors and clouds. Take a rock, hold it in your hand. If the rock gets wet, it is raining. If the rock gets warm, it is sunny. If you cannot see rock, fog is present. If rock hits you in face, it is windy." and "Wear clean undergarments. For one day you may meet your ancestors, and you thought grandma was bossy when she was alive!"

Sometimes these actually help the party but mostly they are for flavour.

As for the NPC, here is the story.

Confusus was a human, living in near the "Earth Dragon" mountain range in the world I created for my characters (a world where everything is oriental). A little dim, he was sent away by his parents to join a local monistary. From there, he was expelled and ended up getting lost in the mountains. It was during this time he fell off the map. At the age of 80, he reappeared, enlightened. His words of wisdom, largely gibberish, somehow seem to work to the advantage of the monistary. Noone is really sure why. He ends up becoming the head monk, and gaining a following. He also lived to a massive age before "ascending". His final words are marked for every Confusonist to remember. "Young Novice, if you fear the thunder, give me your staff." (the fool got pissed at a monk during a thunderstorm who was scared his spear would be struck by lightning. So he took it, and low and behold, he vanished in a great flash.) Confusus employed a lot of headology, and a lot of the teachings of the History Monks, often to great success.

As a rule, no one is sure of his character build. He is a frail old man, so low strength. He isnt the fastest of movers, so low dex. The guy is a moron, so low int. He has pretty good cha and tones of wis (you can be wise, and no nothing at all). Con is up to you. The guy is freaking lucky. He survived some 60 years in the wilderness on his own, so if you want him in combat, have things only hit him with a 1% luck roll (I believe thats 5 consecutive 1s on a D20).

But Confusus gets his joy from his followers. Enigmatic monks, rambling old men and happy go lucky merchants. Here are some starter teachings of his.

"One in a million chances happen nine times out of ten"
"Never underestimate old men with sweeping brushes"
"You can never be lost, for you are always here. Its the other bugger that are bad at direction." (this one causes much debate. Some feel that "here" means in Confusus heart, and thus you should follow his teachings strictly, while others feel that "here" is an inner refuge of Ki, discovered by long hours of meditation, and that this power will always guide you towards enlightenment. No one is stupid enough to understand what Confusus ACTUALLY meant).
"One will reach his destination when he is good and ready" (often said to young travellers when they ask how far it is. Its basically "We will get there when we get there" but now means something more spiritual).
"No one is an enemy of a man who bears all" (a convoluted saying. Confusus learned of the trick of taking off your clothes when escaping a wild animal, but believed that the shock of seeing someone naked was what stopped the animal attacking, not the pile of clothes. His followers then misinterpreted it to mean that people who dont shoulder burdens have no troubles and are closer to enlightenment. Ironically, it seems despite his best efforts, Confusus actually made spiritual sense here).
"Does a High Priest relieve himself in the wilderness?" (Confusus has trouble remembering which phrase is which. See "Does a Bear **** in the woods?" and "Is the Pope Catholic?")
"One More Thing!" (often followed by hitting a rather slow novice monk, for all you JC fans out there).

Add more, and if you want a more fleshed out story, contact me.

The other book my ninja carries is "The Reality of War" by long dead strategist Mun Tzi. In some ways, Mun Tzi is the exact opposite of Confusus, in others, he is the same. His battle tactics are less tactics and more, well, lets see.

"In battle, the first sign of victory is when your enemy stops bleeding. The first sign of defeat is meeting your Ancestors. The latter is a more certain sign."
"If you wish to poke a sleeping bear, poke it hard in the eye with a pointy stick."
"Honour will take you almost to victory. A sharp sword will get you the rest of the way."
"If your enemy still persists, hit it harder."
"You dont need Magicians to make a meat wall. Peasants work just as well."

Mun Tzi died old and tired. He united the world. It promptly fell apart after his death. He was a retainer to a noble lord, and then he was granted the lordship himself when the lord died heirless. He is a fighter, though he looks more like a samurai. Ceramic, magical scale armour (mythril scale) head to toe, and a Naginata as his primary, he was also a master of the Katana and Yumi (bastard sword and composite long bow). He is about 300 years before the time of Confusus. Stern, sullen and quick to anger, his tactics got many a man killed, but earned him a fearsome reputation.

I doubt either is a good choice for an actual NPC, but both are followed by many in my world, so a believer in their teachings is common. Have fun with them. Confusus has granted me many natural 20s, and I havnt died yet to the teachings of Mun Tzi. Enjoy!

[manyslayer]

Had a crazy old guy who followed the party around. He was generally unkempt and would pull food from his beard all the time. HE offered to share but for some reason none of the PCs wanted any. Until much later in the campaign when he pulled ice cream out of his bear, still frozen. Then one brave PC tried a chicken wing he pulled out and it was warm and fresh. he explained that he had gotten his head stuck in a halfing pot of endless food (which non-halfling versions produce flavorless but filling gruel but a halfling version, well that makes good tasting stuff in great variety). They had to break the pot to get it off and the magic from it went into his beard.

Of course he also claimed to have been a chief scout for the elven queen (and then got lost while crashing his way through the forest just after telling the party this). Or that he knew vast amounts of history and could rival the most famous sage (and then couldn't tell the difference between an orc ramshackle watchtower and en elven border fort). And so forth.

Yeah, so in the end he turned out to be a pit fiend, but Mortimer was a lot of fun to play as an NPC. (The PCs were caught up in a Bloodwar related quest but they didn't know it for some time. There were two groups, one for the dark god trying to descend everything into chaos and one for the other gods trying to maintain order (or at least some version of reality). Since the other side was run by demons and the like, the devils knoew they would cheat eventualy so Mortimer was there for when the demons tried to break the rules by assissting the other side. Mortimer was careful to never be helpful (and one could argue detrimental) until the demons moved first.)

[Talos]

I had a Halfling inn keeper. Timbleton Toscobbert who was always making "NEW" dishes for the party to try when they ventured into town. His favorite was a apple brandy wine and sickeningly sweet pastries. he loved to have eating contests to show how good his NEW dishes were. He ran the Lemon Stag.

Full of bravado and fearless. He dumbfounded a Dwarf fighter buy challenging him and calling him a coward but in the manner he did it was, by their standards, very feminine. Dm cracked them all up laughing the dwarf did not know what to do.

[Blackhawk748]

I am loving all of these NPCs and im getting some great ideas so keep them coming everyone

[Vhaidara]

I used a Deadly Dancer (Time of Magic) with levels in telepath to communicate. Deadly dancers are intelligent, but cannot normally speak.

I also threw in a dwarven Apostle of Peace. He had ALL the vows, including one of silence. He helped create a sustainable source of food for the DDs. Meaning fresh blood.

[Phelix-Mu]

One of my favorite was a female sorcerer/dread witch npc and possible romantic interest that never panned out (hehe). She was scary, but not by being intimidating. She was, instead, creepy and odd, pale with dark eyes (that had gone all draconic-looking later in the campaign). She hummed to herself, mumbled disturbing rhymes, and generally looked distracted and half-crazed. She creeped people out, even when she wasn't trying. She was part of an organization engaged in the same plot lines as the party, and so they occasionally had to go to her for information, or she tracked them down looking for help. Always turned out to be some very memorable role play.

[Tevesh]

One of my favorite was a female sorcerer/dread witch npc and possible romantic interest that never panned out (hehe). She was scary, but not by being intimidating. She was, instead, creepy and odd, pale with dark eyes (that had gone all draconic-looking later in the campaign). She hummed to herself, mumbled disturbing rhymes, and generally looked distracted and half-crazed. She creeped people out, even when she wasn't trying. She was part of an organization engaged in the same plot lines as the party, and so they occasionally had to go to her for information, or she tracked them down looking for help. Always turned out to be some very memorable role play.

It didn't pan out because the PC got the memo that you don't put yourself in crazy.

[Blackhawk748]

Idk i've heard its rather fun :smalltongue:

I may just use that Sorceress as well as the old guy with the "food-o-matic" beard, they're just to awesome

[Phelix-Mu]

It didn't pan out because the PC got the memo that you don't put yourself in crazy.

Funny story: both of the eligible males later went on to separately seal pacts with a shape-shifting marilith servant of Zuggtmoy, who then convinced them (still separately) to engage in various sex acts and, for one of them, allow her to anesthetize them for long periods of time to perform vague "surgery" in order to improve their bodies.

Yeah, both those PCs must have eaten that memo, along with the rest of the stack of post-its.:smallsmile:

[MadGreenSon]

Funny story: both of the eligible males later went on to separately seal pacts with a shape-shifting marilith servant of Zuggtmoy, who then convinced them (still separately) to engage in various sex acts and, for one of them, allow her to anesthetize them for long periods of time to perform vague "surgery" in order to improve their bodies.

Yeah, both those PCs must have eaten that memo, along with the rest of the stack of post-its.:smallsmile:

Those sound like awesome PCs! Not big forward thinkers but their very blood is swarming with plot advancement!

[Blackhawk748]

Funny story: both of the eligible males later went on to separately seal pacts with a shape-shifting marilith servant of Zuggtmoy, who then convinced them (still separately) to engage in various sex acts and, for one of them, allow her to anesthetize them for long periods of time to perform vague "surgery" in order to improve their bodies.

Yeah, both those PCs must have eaten that memo, along with the rest of the stack of post-its.:smallsmile:

*falls to the floor laughing*


Those sound like awesome PCs! Not big forward thinkers but their very blood is swarming with plot advancement!

Also love that line

[Phelix-Mu]

Those sound like awesome PCs! Not big forward thinkers but their very blood is swarming with plot advancement!

Oh, you have no idea. It's pretty standard for demons to muck about and add in...extra bonuses...to agreements. I mean, they don't follow contracts like devils, after all. If it feels right and it doesn't conflict with their underlying goal, yeah, let's go for it. I even told the players about this OOC. They both were okay with it, and went for the quick power-up-plus-unspecified-badness.

Well, months irl pass. They have used their coolness a bit, but, as is often the case, normal PC coolness quickly outpaces the typical gifts of demons, and owing the demons/being damned gets old quickly. So we are at that point where people are starting to try to find a way out of those agreements. Which suits Zuggtmoy; she gained bigtime from the initial bargain, and the souls of these two PCs, while icing on the cake, are not vital. She'd like to kill them, but it's rather more fun to just let things take their course and see what pops up.

So, the one guy that was subject to the "long" surgery, much later in the plot, he meets with this powerful lady fey noble. She's got some quasi-divine coolness, and he has done her a service or two. They get to talking, and she likes him. I ask, OOC, would your character be up for a pairing? Player says "sure." I'm like "alright, the two get together for a bit of skinship, and good fun is had by both parties." Keeping in mind that the lady's husband (a former Master of the Hunt) is wandering around the same forest somewhere, and seems not to care as long as his wife is happy.

So, that scene ends, and I'm about to move the plot along a bit, and the player says "hey, what about that thing Zuggtmoy gave me? Didn't you imply that it was contagious or something?"

[INSERT DM FACEPALM OF THE CENTURY]

Not only was it "contagious," but the standard demon seductress setup is to taint the seed of her partner, making his next pairing demonically fertile. Since this was a full-body surgery, he was packed full of some serious badness. Now the player just impregnated this somewhat insane fey noblewoman (which fey isn't a bit nuts) with some demon spawn.

It is probably the biggest single curve ball a player has ever tossed me, and the best part is that it was mainly my fault.

[MadGreenSon]

So, that scene ends, and I'm about to move the plot along a bit, and the player says "hey, what about that thing Zuggtmoy gave me? Didn't you imply that it was contagious or something?"

[INSERT DM FACEPALM OF THE CENTURY]

Not only was it "contagious," but the standard demon seductress setup is to taint the seed of her partner, making his next pairing demonically fertile. Since this was a full-body surgery, he was packed full of some serious badness. Now the player just impregnated this somewhat insane fey noblewoman (which fey isn't a bit nuts) with some demon spawn.

It is probably the biggest single curve ball a player has ever tossed me, and the best part is that it was mainly my fault.

Best. Illegitimate. Offspring. Ever. :smallbiggrin:

Has this all been played out yet? I want to know more!

[Phelix-Mu]

I don't want to derail this thread. I make terribly complicated plots, and managed to make the illegitimate kids, there were two of them, one was a future version of an npc the group had already known, and the other was the reincarnation of one of the epic bad guys at the heart of the plot.

A more thorough explanation would have to be done in PMs, as the story gets seriously complicated, and you'd need some background for it all to make sense. Not sure it all made sense at all, in any case, lol.

But, that one moment was sheer awesomesauce.

[MadGreenSon]

I don't want to derail this thread. I make terribly complicated plots, and managed to make the illegitimate kids, there were two of them, one was a future version of an npc the group had already known, and the other was the reincarnation of one of the epic bad guys at the heart of the plot.

A more thorough explanation would have to be done in PMs, as the story gets seriously complicated, and you'd need some background for it all to make sense. Not sure it all made sense at all, in any case, lol.

But, that one moment was sheer awesomesauce.

Pm me with it if you choose to, I would love to have more material for theft inspiration.

Back on Topic:

A recurring NPC is Fenwick, the Kobold Knight. He's brave, noble, not dragonwrought or anything, he rides a pretty badass wardog and is pretty hefty on the charge and in melee. I don't remember what the class combo was off the top of my head, but he was not the usual kobold,even for an Optimization board and he was a player favorite. It's a sad day when the party barbarian gets out-manly'd by something that comes up to his knee. Well, sad and funny!
(He did not, however, use the actual Knight class!)

[Blackhawk748]

Oh i am totally mixing that Kobold with another Kobold my buddy made named Deacon, also i am going to have a Halfling Tavern keeper who is totally gonna be Italian.

[(Un)Inspired]

Have you seen some of the old 2e artwork of drow with handlebar mustaches?

After seeming them I created Rugbert Buggaboo, my reoccurring paunchy drow merchant. He works really hard to convince parties that they can't automatically judge him as evil just because he's a drow.

I play him as determined to prove himself as good and moderately charming. After sticking to his guns that he's good and cracking a few jokes with the players I always get him on the players good sides and use him to sell them magic items at fairly discounted prices (all the items he sells are cursed he's totally evil).

I try to use him sparingly with groups that are familiar with his shenanigans.