Grit's Tavern (Hamlet)

[InaVegt]

Grit is a kobold, a friendly kobold but a kobold nonetheless. He's got a minor arcane talent as well as a tavern inside the little place called the hamlet.

Grit's Tavern
Grit's tavern is made for medium sized customers, though the office is made in small size. There are booster seats for smaller customers as well as holes in the ground for larger customers who still want to sit comfortably.

The staff
Erk: Erk is a gnome who works for Grit. He's grumpy and short but a great mind for numbers.
Evistal: Evistal is a nice friendly elf. He usually chats with the customers a bit before giving them their drink.
Miasmi: Miasmi is another nice friendly elf, she is the wife of Evistal and prefers to work quickly, as to annoy the customers the least.

The menu
Beer
Dragonbite bitter
Dwarfhead stout
Gnome golden light
Mead
Elven mead
Goblin Thudrud
Wine
Drow spiderblood
Dwarven garnet wine
Elven aleeian wine
Frostwine
Mushroom wine
Meat
Beef (Corned, Dried, Jerked, Sausage and smoked all available)
Buffalo (Dried and jerked available)
Pork (Bacon, Ham, Salted and sausage available)
Other food
Salad (Small, Large and vegetarian available)
Nuts (A lot of different kinds)
Muffins (Including the cat variety)
Potatoes

[The Orange Zergling]

A boy -no more than 14- walks into the tavern and looks around. He has short-ish brown hair, bright green eyes, and wears heavily travel worn commoners-clothing. He nervously finds a seat where available.

[InaVegt]

Miasmi walks towards the boy

Can I help you, young man?

[Deadly]

A young man walks in, dragging along the statue of a woman. The woman looks as if she was in a fight.

The man sets the statue down by a table and sits down heavily, obviously exhausted.

[InaVegt]

Evistal walks over to the young man

Evening sir, can I help you?

[The Orange Zergling]

The boy almost looks startled when Miasmi speaks. Umm, yeah, I'll have the... uhh... strongest alcoholic thing you have...

[InaVegt]

We only give lesser alcoholic drinks to people your age, the strongest I can give you is dragonbite bitter.

[Deadly]

The man looks at the menu briefly, then nods I'll have a Gnome golden light and... some dried buffalo meat, thank you.

[The Orange Zergling]

Oh... uhh, fine then, I'll take that.

[InaVegt]

Miasmi hands the boy a mug of a Dark red beer, while Evistal hands the man a glass of light flowery beer and half an ounce of dried meat.

[The Orange Zergling]

The boy drinks his beer in one gulp. He blinks and looks at the other patrons of the bar.

[InaVegt]

That would be 15 silver pieces, young man.

[Deadly]

The man hands Evistal a few coins then looks at the beer and shrugs before taking a swig. He then turns to examine the contents of a small bag.

[InaVegt]

Evistal counts the coins before putting them in the till.

[The Orange Zergling]

He blinks again. Fifteen sil... He puts a hand in his pocket and pulls it out again, holding a few copper pieces, a little ball of lint, and a canine tooth. ...crap.

((Came out a little more comical than I'd wanted. /shrug))

[Deadly]

The man looks up from his bag and turns to Evistal Do you know if there are any mages living nearby?

[InaVegt]

Well, you could work for us to pay off your debt.

I wouldn't know, the tavern just moved here.

((NPC mode for the NPC's))

[Deadly]

The man sighs Oh well. Thanks for your time. he says and returns to examining the contents of the bag, pulling various items out and studying them.

[The Orange Zergling]

Umm, okay. He stands up, hesitently and pockets his money. He glances at the man studying the objects. Then he takes a seat again and falls asleep until Gezina gets back.

[Deadly]

The man looks at the boy, and considers something. He then stands, walks over and puts a gold coin on the boy's table before walking back to his own table.

[Deadly]

The man orders a glass of Dwarfhead stout and pays with a sigh, after looking into his almost empty pouch. He leans against the statue and drinks the beer with a thoughtful expression.

[Deadly]

After a while the man gets up and walks outside, leaving the statue at the table.

[The Orange Zergling]

The boy wakes up with a snort, looking at the gold piece on the counter in front of him. He blinks and makes sure none of the servers are looking, then takes the gold piece and quietly slips out of the tavern.

[Destro_Yersul]

A cloaked man walks into the tavern. Hi. I'll take a Dwarfhead stout, and a job as bartender. He sits at the bar.

[Kyral]

Atriuls stumbles into the Tavern, looking around groggily as the effects of the poison haven't fully worn off. "Ugh...where's that foolish heathen..." He takes notice of the cloaked man and trods towards him, attempting rather lethargically to punch him.

[Destro_Yersul]

The cloaked man hears what is being said behind him, and dives under a nearby table before Atriuls can get to him.

[Sneak]

The man walks into the room and waits for the cowboy, setting his briefcase on the floor and looking around the bar.

[Deadly]

Schnick walks back in and takes his seat next to the statue. He orders an ale and leans back You know, Stick, for once, finding a wizard seems to be a problem. he says, obviously to the statue. The statue doesn't reply.

[Sneak]

The statue doesn't reply.

(( You have no idea how tempting it is to put that in my sig... ))

[Hoseki]

The ex-rider strides into the tavern and sits down at an empty table. She waves Evistal over and says bluntly, "Baked potato, two pork sausages, and a Dwarfhead Stout." "Fine choices, may I say, though-" "Now, not later." "R-right away, ma'am." The rather startled elf scurries off, and the paladin leans back in her chair.

[Lord Magtok]

The gunslinger follows the not-lawyer.

This it? Why is dere holes in the ground? This some kind of cheap, ratty bar?

[Deadly]

((^^^ I guess not :)))

[Kyral]

Atriuls' swing takes him off-balance, and he trips, slumping over the bar. He grimaces and pushes himself back up, walking towards the table, just as a brilliant light flashes from the sky. Temporarily blinded, he shields his eyes.
"Atriuls?"
"You! Give my godhood back now!"
"I toss you back to the world and take over your powers, and you soil your name as God of Justice by attacking a random man...Atriuls, the irony slays me."
"You're one to talk! I was doing fine and you take over my powers and become the God of Justice...where's the Justice in THAT?"
"Well, I wasn't God of Justice then."
"I hate you so much-"
There's a burst of light, and Atriuls is frozen stiff, unseeing eyes staring straight ahead.

[Sneak]

The man sighs quietly.

"Must be," he says. "Please, let us sit down somewhere to discuss my proposition. As I said, I have a business proposition for you. I'll pay for your first round if you'll hear me out."

Without waiting for an answer he walks to a table in the corner and sits down, not ordering anything for himself.

[Deadly]

Schnick sips his ale and leans against the statue.

[Hoseki]

Miress the paladin glances over at Schinck. "Hey, you. Were you talking to that statue a second ago?" she asks, rather bored.

[Deadly]

Schnick turns to Miress and nods Sure. Why?

[Flabbicus]

A creature, the best definition for it would be a man with significantly goat-like features, pushes through the door and closes it softly behind it. Its most striking feature is its large, diabolic horns protruding from its dark and reddish fur covered forehead.

It plods over to the bar and glances over a menu.

[Hoseki]

Miress looks confused. "Why? That's what I was going to ask you."

[Sneak]

The man pushes some hair out of his face again, sets his briefcase on the table, and looks around the tavern again.

[Deadly]

Schnick shrugs Well, she's my wife. We ran into a Gorgon in a nearby ruin, and poor Stick here... well, let's just say she could use a little luck once in a while.

[Flabbicus]

The creature continues glancing over the wooden menu in front of him until deciding upon an order. The fay opens its sharp toothy mouth and says, "I'll haf a Mushroom Wine and one of thos' smoked beef meals.

He places a few coppers onto the table that he found in the woods. Evistal shifts several objects behind the bar in search of the requested items.

[Hoseki]

Miress looks dubiously at the statue. "Oh."

[Sneak]

(( Well, Magtok is apparently no longer online... ))

The man looks around and sighs.

"This damn town better be better than the last..." he mumbles to himself.

[Deadly]

So aside from breaking my back I'm trying to find a wizard who can undo the petrification... and likely the wizard will turn out to be a devil, and his spells be cursed or something.

[Hoseki]

The grumpy paladin rubs her temples wearily. "Ugh. It seems like every other wizard on the Material is a lich or a fiend or just evil. I've spent a good portion of the last nine years smiting the bastards."

[Flabbicus]

Evistal places the requested items on the counter. "So what brings you here? You're a spirit of the forest aren't you." She looks on expectantly.

"Well, yes and no."
"What do you mean?
"I can't go back to my well."
"Your well? I don't understand."
The creature rubs its temples, or at least, where its temples [i]should be,"I am a guardian of a well, and something happened to that well that has made it so that I can't return to it."
She looks slightly gloomy, "That's depressing. I don't know what to say..."
He raises his hand, "Don't, I had it coming. Call it fate or bad luck, but it happened and I can't do anything to fix it."

[Deadly]

Well, I mostly hunt what they make. Evil or not, Wizards sure know how to make interresting trinkets.

[Hoseki]

"As long as they're not evil trinkets, I suppose." she says.

[Deadly]

Schnick sighs I try to stay away from those. They usually cause trouble.

He downs the last of his beer and falls asleep against the statue with a yawn.

((Why do I always end up spending all night here instead of sleeping? Oh well... goodnight))

[Hoseki]

((Because that is the nature of the Town... er, Hamlet. Goodnight.))

Miress eats quickly and leaves to go help the villagers do their villagery stuff.

[The Orange Zergling]

The boy from earlier walks back into the tavern, a small bag tied to his belt. He's grinning slightly and goes to the bar, ordering a dragonbite bitter.

[Destro_Yersul]

Is he gone? The voice comes out from under the table the cloaked guy is hiding under.

[Flabbicus]

The urisk looks around the bar and yawns, which reveals its sharp teeth mouth. It moves over to a corner and dines on its meat and drink.

[Sneak]

The man in the suit yawns and looks around the bar once more, tapping his fingers on the table.

[Flabbicus]

The creature devours the beef and shoves the head of the wine glass into its mouth, gulping down all traces of the Mushroom Wine's existence. It places the now scratched glass down on the table and leans back in its chair to fall asleep.

[The Orange Zergling]

The boy curses his player for forgetting he was here, and takes 15 silver pieces from the bag on his belt, leaving them on the counter. He leaves.

[Deadly]

Schnick wakes up with a yawn and looks around. He decides that he probably should try to rent a room somewhere instead of sleeping in the tavern. He sighs and stretches a bit, then orders a muffin.

[Kyral]

Slowly the ice covering Atriuls' form begins to thaw. He shivers as the ice over his head melts, though the rest of the ice remains solid. Annoyed, he swivels his head from side to side, looking around the room. "...and now, I've got water down the back of my shirt. This is turning out to be a splendid day!...oh, wait, I forgot! I was encased in a block of ice for the whole of yesterday and this morning, so yesterday was a splendid day!" He laughs bitterly.

[Deadly]

Schnick looks up from a piece of paper that he's been scribbling on Better make today better, then.

[Kyral]

"Hell if I know how to do that." He looks down at the wound in his shoulder angrily. "I'm a mortal in some kind of uncivilized pig's village." The ice shows no signs of thawing anytime soon.

[Deadly]

Well, in my experience the most excitement is usually found in places far removed from any civilization.

[Kyral]

"Excitement! Oh, joyous day!" Atriuls says, the sarcasm in his voice inescapable. "That will certainly help the fact that I'm mortal, clueless, wounded, and frozen in a block of ice in a Tavern in the middle of nowhere!"

[Deadly]

Schnick shrugs I could set you on fire, if that's better.

[Kyral]

"Fire!" Atriuls laughs at the absurdity of the suggestion. "Oh, bravo! Unless you have some grand way to set ice on fire, or to melt the ice without harming me, you'd probably have to opt for setting my hair on fire and hoping my flaming body melts the ice eventually."

[Deadly]

Well, you're certainly in a fiery mood, perhaps that'll melt the ice for you. he says while studying his notes

[Kyral]

"Actually, I'm in a very cold mood. With any luck, that'll make the ice grow back over my head and I won't have to talk to idiots like you!" And with that, he becomes silent.

[Deadly]

Schnick shakes his head and returns to his notes, frowning a bit.

[Kyral]

Atriuls sighs and tries to move, resulting in nothing. Frustrated, he leans entirely to one side, trying to break the ice. The entire block of ice flips over and crashes to the ground on its side. He tries to move, then grimaces. "Lovely."

[Deadly]

Schnick sighs and looks up again I suppose I could try and hack the ice away with a dagger or something.

[Kyral]

"Yeah, well..." Atriuls sighs and hangs his head the best he can for being trapped inside a block of ice horizontally on the floor. "Gods, just go ahead."

[Deadly]

Schnick pulls out an old rusty dagger, obviously it's been used a lot for all sorts of things where the rapiers by his side were less practical. He walks over to Atriuls and starts cutting the ice.

[Kyral]

The ice is not as hard as one might think, and is cut easily. Atriuls moves one of his arms that has been freed. "Alright, do the rest."

[Deadly]

Schnick nods and continues to hack away.

[Kyral]

Eventually, the ice lies on the Tavern floor. Atriuls grins and stretches, slowly standing up. "Ah. Good to be bac-" His legs buckle out from under him, and he flips downwards into the floor. "My entire body's numb."

[Deadly]

Schnick sighs and casts Cure Serious Wounds on him That's hardly surprising.

[Kyral]

"It is after suffering from sleep deprevation for a day and a half and feeling the urgent need to stretch after being in the same block of ice for the same amount of time." Atriuls sighs and steps to his feet, still wobbling a little bit. "Thanks, in any case."

[Deadly]

You're welcome. he says and sits back down, ordering an ale.

[Sneak]

The black haired man walks in again, now wearing a different suit but still carrying the same briefcase. He sets it down on the table, orders a water, and looks around the bar.

[Kyral]

Atriuls notes the black haired man briefly and reseats himslf at the bar. "I'll have a nice white wine."

[Deadly]

Schnick looks at the statue and sighs, then turns to Atriuls and the black haired man I don't suppose any of you are wizards, or know where to find one?

[Sneak]

The man shrugs at Schnick apologetically.

"Sorry," he says. "Just a simple c—er, not a wizard." He takes his water and sips it briefly.

[Deadly]

Schnick blinks Seer?

[Kyral]

"I was a wizard for a grand total of...oh, I'd go with twenty five years, give or take a decade." He grimaces and takes a sip of his wine. "Caught me at a bad time, though. I just lost all of my powers. Oh, and since I'm in the middle of nowhere, I don't know where you could find any kind of sane wizard."

[Sneak]

The man smiles.

"No, not a—yes, yes I am a seer," he replies. "And I don't know where you'll find a wizard until one comes here."

[Deadly]

Schnick sighs and sips his ale Oh well.

[Sneak]

The man thinks for a moment.

"Actually, I think I might know of one," he says slowly. "I have a friend who was thinking of setting up shop in a small town like this. However, I would require something of you."

[Deadly]

Schnick looks up at the man and raises an eyebrow What would you require, then?

[Lord Magtok]

The western gunslinger comes out of hs coma, and notices Keaton is still there.

Sorry 'bout that. Musta had more tequila 'fore I got 'ere then I thought.
You had a proposition for me?

[Sneak]

The man smiles at the gunslinger.

"One moment," he says. He turns back to Schnick. "Before I ask you, may I be so rude as to inquire as to your current financial state?"

(( And actually, the man's name isn't Keaton. Yet. I haven't given much thought as to what his name will be yet. ))

[Deadly]

Schnick sighs and looks at his notes I have a fair amount of money, which I'll probably need to pay for the spell.

[Lord Magtok]

At the mention of money, the gunslinger realizes he has absolutely no gold with him. Just a wad of useless US dollars for a recent bounty.

Aw crap...

[Sneak]

The man smiles.

"Wonderful," he says. "My friend, however, although he has enough money to pay for the construction of a shop, is currently lacking the financial backing to properly run a store. If you were willing to deposit a sizable sum, I am sure that my friend would be delighted. Furthermore, I am positive that he would cast the spell you need for free, and probably even give you a discount at the store in possible future transactions." He pauses for a moment. "Are you still interested, or shall I find another man for my friend?"

[Deadly]

How much would I need to pay, exactly?

[Lord Magtok]

((This reminds me of those e-mail scams. Invest in me, and I'll give you big bucks later!))

[Sneak]

The man taps his fingers on his briefcase.

"What exactly is this spell that you need and around how much would it cost? Excuse my ignorance. I am not very knowledgeable in these areas."

(( Heh. You're right. Think I would make a good scammer? :P ))

[Rebonack]

A cloaked figure, well over seven feet tall, ducks instinctively as he steps into the tavern to avoid hitting his head on the doorway. He sighs deeply and pulls back his hood, revealing something even more peculiar than his stature.

His hair is icy blue.

He runs on hand through it, the hand that isn't incased up to the elbow in what appears to be quicksilver as the case happens to be, and proceeds to take a seat at the bar.

"A tankard of ale and some rye bread if you would, miss," the man places his order. His voice is deep and his misty breath is visable as one would expect on a cold day. Except the day currently isn't very cold.

Upon having his food delivered and being told that the ale will cost him twelve silver he nearly chokes. He gives the NPC server a scrutinizing looks in an attempt to ascertain whether or not he's being bluffed. At her insistence he reluctantly pays for the meager meal.

[Kyral]

Atriuls swivels his head to face the doorway at the sound of the man entering, raising an eyebrow at his stature though seemingly not noticing his strange hair color. Shrugging, he turns back to his drink, looking a little disturbed.

[Deadly]

Schnick looks through his notes again to make sure Well, I would need a Stone to Flesh spell, which I think normally costs a little less than 750 gold pieces.

[Lord Magtok]

((Dunno. Whatever happened to that Smack Jeeves web-comic that used to be set as your website thing? It was funny, and I can't find it.))

The gunslinger orders a drink, despite the fact that he has no gold. He hopes that he'll be able to give the tavern the slip later.

[Sneak]

(( It was called Half-Wit. I stopped making it, though. ))

The man nods thoughtfully.

"Alright," he says. "That should do. Of course, I will not require you to pay the full fee until my friend arrives. However, can we agree on, say, 300 gold up front, as a token of good faith?" He takes some paperwork out of his briefcase and waits for an answer.

[Rebonack]

The man whose name has yet to be mentioned glances at the gunslinger, noting his unusual attire and apparent lack of armament.

"I don't believe I've seen a traveler attired as yourself," the large man states. "If I may be so bold, may I ask what brings you to this out of the way place and from where have you come?"

[Lord Magtok]

I was out in Nevada, bout' to put Deadeye behind bars, when suddenly dis big swirly thing done comes in the cantina and sucks me in. Later, I get spat out here, wit nuttin but mah shotin' iron and me bottle a tequila. Lost me hoss, and now I'm stuck in this time a' knights an' magic, an' stuff.

[Nevrmore]

A strange creature comes in, humanoid in shape, but it looked as if some sort of deific artist had blotted his skin pure black. His face held quite a bit more resemblance to a bear than to any human, an observation accompanied by the patches of fur visible on his body. An aviator's cap and goggles rested on his head with two holes cut out for ursine ears. Strangest of all were the two bat-esque wings tucked into his back, sticking out of two holes in his coat. He took a seat at the bar.

"Mmmm, I'm thirsty!"

[Deadly]

Schnick considers, a bit wary, but finally nods I think I can manage that now. Unless I can sell some items soon, I will have to pay the rest in gems and other minor items.

[Rebonack]

"Nevada... Nevada..." the large man rolls the name around in his head for a few moments. "I can't say I've ever heard of it. As far as I know this territory hasn't really been named as of yet. Few live here. Something of a frontier land I suppose."

He ponders the gunslinger's description of how he arrived.

"I must admit I have no idea why you would have been summoned here. An arcane accident perhaps. Or simply another mad wizard meddling in things which he ought not meddle with. My journey here was less dramatic. I walked most of the way. I would have ridden my horse, but having it eaten by a manticore robbed me of that option."

He gives the bear an odd look, uncertain of what to make of it.

[Kyral]

Atriuls regards the strange creature with a raised eyebrow. "Gods...today's turning out to be a pretty damn strange day..."

[Nevrmore]

The bear-man sees the blue-man give him a look and waves some sort of paw with an opposable thumb at him. "Hello!"

[Lord Magtok]

The gunslinger looks at the bear.

That some kinda freaky Injun ghost or somethin'? And what in the hell is a manty core?I never heard a nuthin' 'cept a mountain lion would eat a whole horse.

[Rebonack]

The man returns the bear's wave somewhat reluctantly.

"Eerr... greetings to you as well..."

*cough* He turns back to the gunslinger.

"By Lathander, I must admit I've never seen such a creature before," he admits.

[Nevrmore]

The ursa-sapien stands up and walks over to the blue man and gunslinger. He sticks out a furry paw, "I'm Murphy!"

[Lord Magtok]

Hmm...the brute seems too smart an' not ghostly to be an Injun spirit. Probably would make a great trophy, if it weren't a smart bear, and if I hunted.

The gunslinger's hand slowly reaches out nervously to the uru-sapien Hey...uh...Murphy. You're not gonna try an' eat me are you?

[Deadly]

Schnick looks around and raises an eyebrow at all the strange people that have shown up since yesterday.

[Sneak]

The man smiles broadly.

"Excellent!" he exclaims. "It's settled, then. You can pay me when you're ready. But I would like you to sign this paperwork. Just a formality."

He hands a paper over to Schnick. All it really says is that he agreed to pay the money, etc. etc.

[Nevrmore]

Murphy laughs, which actually sounds like a um...bear laughing. "I don't eat humans!"

Murphy scratches his chin thoughtfully, "Although old humans do taste an awful lot like jerky."

[Deadly]

Schnick carefully reads the paper while pulling out a small bag

[Kyral]

"Contradiction." Atriuls points out. "How would you know what humans taste like if you don't eat them?"

[Sneak]

The man waits and drums his fingers on the table.

[Nevrmore]

Murphy laughs, "It was a joke, friend!" He says, holdings his stomach from the fit of guffaws and chuckles.

[Lord Magtok]

((He might lick old people.))

The gunslinger finishes his drink, and wonders when to start running to avoid being arrested for not paying.

He glares at the man-bear((-pig)) You better it was a joke, cuz my pappy died cuz a' somethin' that looked like you. And I got a pair a' loaded .45 Long Colts, just a waitin' in case somethin' tries to get me.

[Rebonack]

"Well met, Murphy," the large man responds slowly. "I am Shidar Marar K'rah."

He doesn't take the bear's hand, as it appears to be in use at the moment.

[Deadly]

Schnick signs the paper and hands the man the bag, after taking a few coins out of it There should be 300 gold piece there.

[Kyral]

Atriuls quirks an eyebrow. "A...joke, then. Alright." He takes a sip of his drink but keeps an eye on the bear-man.

[Nevrmore]

"So, what should we do tonight? I'm bored!" Murphy says. He assimilates quickly.

[Sneak]

The man smiles broadly.

"Thank you, sir," he says. "It was a pleasure doing business with you. I will inform my friend of your decision as soon as I am able."

He pockets the gold, puts the paperwork back into his briefcase, and stands up. He takes a seat at the bar and orders a wine, paying for it using some gold he had on him before he arrived.

[Kyral]

An idea hits Atriuls, and he smiles broadly, turning to face Murphy. "Well, Murphy, I've got a game that we could play!"

[Deadly]

Schnick nods and returns to his own drinks

[Nevrmore]

"I like games!" Murphy says almost childishly, "The last game I played was between this friend of mine Jack called Tag! I wish he would've told me that I only needed to touch him and not tackle him, though! Haha, humans bones are so fragile and cute."

[Kyral]

Atriuls looks a little sickened. "Poor Jack. Anyway, it's called Guess n' Help...here, let's go outside, it'll be easier to play out there."

[Nevrmore]

"Guess N' Help? Never played that before! What are the rules?" Murphy says, walking outside.

[Rebonack]

The blue haired man regards the bear wearily. He has the uncanny feeling that the events which follow the 'game' won't end well.

[Sneak]

The man smiles and accepts his drink from a quiet elf. He sips it and looks around the tavern.

[Lord Magtok]

The gunslinger watches with the bear curiosity, as he orders another drink.

Anyone know what kinda guy the local sheriff is? He a corrupt one?

[Kyral]

Atriuls follows him outside. "They're really simple!"

[Rebonack]

"I doubt this hamlet has that degree of organization," Shidar responds. "More likely it has little more than a local militia it scratches together in case of goblin raids."

He watches the bear pair leave the tavern.

[Nevrmore]

((Where exactly is "outside?"))

[Lord Magtok]

Know if this place will let me start up a tab? I got nuthin' but these, and I don't think they'll do in this world.

The gunslinger pulls out a wad of US dollars, which would be worth a lot if he was back in Nevada.

[Sneak]

The man finishes off his wine, puts on his coat, and walks outside.

[Kyral]

((Outside is the Hamlet thread. I just posted in it.))

[Nevrmore]

((As did I))

[Rebonack]

((The Hamlet (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33532&page=2) is currently outside. I'm sure it will branch out more as people begin to come here to avoid getting caught in deific crossfire.))

"Merchant's notes?" the large man replies. It's somewhere between a statement and a question. "Since whatever worth they represent was left in your home then I should suspect they're worth little here. But that hardly matters. Despite the outrageous prices they charge here I would be willing to pick up your costs for today."

He smiles and nods in a friendly sort of way.

"If you wish, you could accompany me to the nearby Dungeon of Unnecessary Peril. After a quick crawl through its depths we should be able to gather more than enough funds to support you."

[Lord Magtok]

((Geez, I gotta find some western accent site. This thing is getting hard to do.))

With Western accent: Merchant's notes? Kinda, I guess. This dungeon sounds a bit dangerous, and unnecessary. I usually just go for bounties, but I suppose the dungeon might be fine.

[Rebonack]

"I suppose bounty hunting is another way of supporting one's self by the sword," Shidar comments. "Though the rewards are oft less spectacular than treasure hunting. It will be dangerous, yes, but I have the feeling that you're a man of great skill. I was informed by a Mysterious Mountain Hermit that a powerful magic weapon is being guarded by a tribe of Grimlocks. Hideous evil cave dwelling creatures. They apparently have been giving the local Dwarves trouble as well. Destroying the loathsome creatures would be rewarded."

[Lord Magtok]

Fine. I'll help. Dunno anythin' 'bout magic, though. Didn't have anythin' like it in Nevada.

[Rebonack]

"Excellent! We should see about leaving as soon as possible," Shidar stands, his cloak falling away from its carefully hiding his lower body position. He glances down at the leathery looking legs and coughs slightly. "The result of too much dealing with wizards, I'm afraid..."

He pays for the gunslinger's drink and meal.

((See the shiny new avatar is my sig for the appearance! =D))

[Lord Magtok]

Holy crap! He looks just like that guy at the carnival!

Western: Thanks for paying for me. So how far is this dungeon?

[Rebonack]

He thinks for a moment.

"About one random encounter away, I suspect," the man heads out the door.

[InaVegt]

Grit wakes up and checks the till, smiling at the money inside.

Daddy loves you all, dear coins.

[Kyral]

Atriuls walks into the Tavern, looking tired and frustrated. He makes his way to the bar and sits, taking a menu and browsing it. He calls over Evistal. "Potatoes. Baked. Now."

[InaVegt]

Sure, anything interesting happened to you lately? How are you doing by the way?

Evistal doesn't seem to start baking them, yet.

[Kyral]

"Well, let's debate that. I've been thrown from my godly domain, stabbed by a foolish idiot with a poisoned blade, encased in a block of ice for a day and a half, sent flying into the ground by the weight of said block, and freed with a rusty dagger. Also, I made an attempt to get a bear-man to help me build a tower for myself, and, after 'convincing' him to help, I was stopped from building it by a forum lag. Then I had to sleep outside in the cold on the ground, and now I'm sitting in a Tavern in the middle of nowhere with no food." He grins bitterly. "So you see why I would be very, very angry if my food didn't arrive in...three and a half minutes."

[InaVegt]

Evistal hastily gets to work, after exactly 3 minutes and 31 seconds he places the food in front of the customer.

[Kyral]

Atriuls tosses a few coins on the table and begins eating hungrily.

[InaVegt]

Other than what you just said, how are you exactly doing?

[Kyral]

Atriuls looks up with a face that clearly says 'Not now, this is the first meal I've had in four days.' "What do you think?"

[InaVegt]

Well, good, since you're have a wonderfull meal cooked by me.

[Kyral]

"Huzzah." He turns back to his meal, which he begins devouring quickly.

[Deadly]

Schnick wakes up from his odd coma and looks around, quite surprised That was odd.

[Sneak]

The black haired man walks inside the tavern, puffs on his cigarette, and then sits down at the bar.

[Deadly]

Schnick orders a Dragonbite bitter and turns to the black haired man Any news?

[Sneak]

The man turns towards Schnick.

"News?" he asks. "Oh, right. Well, I contacted my friend. He says it'll probably take him a few days to get over here and set up, but if you're really desperate he can come sometime today or tomorrow."

[Deadly]

Schnick looks at the statue Well... I figure she'll be really pissed that it's taken me this long. I'm not sure if I should wait as long as possible or just get it over with.

[Sneak]

The man nods.

"Well," he says, "when you make a decision, I'll be sure to contact my friend."

[Deadly]

Schnick downs his ale and shakes his head I better get it done as soon as possible.

[Lord Magtok]

The western gunslinger comes out of a booze-induced coma, and follows the dragon-legged character beonging to Rebonack.

[Flabbicus]

The faun snaps its eyes open with a start. It looks around the pub and notices that nothing is going on. It lifts itself off of the chair, its bones creaking with the sound of wind blowing against small trees, and it plods outside.

[Deadly]

Schnick wakes up and sighs. He stands up and walks around a bit.

[Kyral]

Atriuls groggily looks up from his position at the bar, making a note to himself to, when ascending back to godhood, annihalate all forms of potatoes. "Potatoes will face my godly wrath!"

[Deadly]

Schnick looks at him Why potatoes?

[Kyral]

"They made me fall asleep in an uncomfortable position at a bar in the middle of nowhere for more than a day." He shrugs, then bangs a fist on the table. "I'm taking out sweet potatoes first!"

[Deadly]

Schnick shrugs Sounds good.

[Kyral]

"Indeed." He laughs evilly. "Bartender, an order of potatoes. Boiled."

[Deadly]

Well, sitting around in a tavern is getting a bit boring. I wonder if there could be found something more interresting in this place. he says thoughtfully and orders a dragonbite bitter

[Kyral]

Altrius takes his order of potatoes and promptly begins stabbing them with a small dagger. "I was actually trying to make something more interesting in this place...but it was stopped due to a forum lag." He grimaces. "After taking out potatoes, the forum lag is next."

[Deadly]

Ah... Schnick decides to watch the brutal murder of potatoes.

[Kyral]

After brutally maiming and murdering the potatoes quite cheerfully, he smiles and tosses them to the ground, where he begins stomping on them. He then looks towards the door. "Come to think of it, I might go try to finish the Tower."

[Deadly]

Not a bad idea. I should probably find a better place to sleep too.

[Kyral]

Atriuls laughs. "That's the sole purpose of the Tower. Besides maybe making a decent profit. I could set up shop...a general store...and inn..."

[Deadly]

Ah, some competition for this one? It is quite expensive here, so you shouldn't find it hard to attract customers.

[Kyral]

Atriuls raises an eyebrow. "Isn't this a Tavern? I said inn."

[Deadly]

Oh... well, I guess I'm still a bit tired.

[Flabbicus]

The door slams open and the faun steps through the threshold. It acquired a few more cuts and scrapes since it was last here, but it sports a new dark yew staff.

[Kyral]

"A customer. Great." Atriuls stands and yawns. "Good to know there's a market for inns." Ignoring the faun for certain reasons, he walks past it and steps out the door.

[Deadly]

Schnick looks up at the faun briefly, then turns back to his ale.

[Flabbicus]

The faun/satyr/urisk/goat-man sits down at the bar and waves down the waitress.

He whispers in a hoarse voice, Drow Spiderblood, quickly.

The waitress scurries away to get his drink.

[Nevrmore]

His pace is awkward. A half-limp, half-stride. His eyes are sunken, blackness surrounding the white, the telltale sign of either intense sickliness or deviance. A pained smile stretches his face, seemingly never leaving him.

His form is unusually thin, muscles whittled away over the years to just the bare minimum to be able to correctly function in life. He had an affinity for cracking his knuckles, although that was habit more than character. His hair was strange - two toned of off-white and jetblack, although he didn't dye it so. It was obvious that his mane was slowly turning the color of a dead man's skin. It was unkempt, to his shoulders.

His clothing seems at least a size too big. A black tunic and black pants are contrasted with a white jacket, sleeveless and stretching down to his calves. Raggedy shoes adorned his feet, but they were much too old to be of any use anymore. The man had one lone weapon - A short, thin sword, resembling for all the world like a Japanese wakizashi, although for some reason it seems crooked at an angle that no japanese sword should be, so much so that he cannot properly sheathe it.

His name was Ater Amo.

[Deadly]

Schnick wakes up and frowns Ok, this is getting silly! he mutters

[Kyral]

Atriuls stumbles out of thin air, tripping about the Tavern. He quickly steadies himself and makes his way to the bar. "Potatoes. Shaken, not stirred. And some water."

[Hoseki]

Miress stalks into the tavern. Her scale mail has been removed and replaced with some plain commoner's clothing, and her hair has been tightly tied back in a short ponytail. She sits down at a table with a sigh.

[Kyral]

Upon recieving his potatoes, Atriuls begins stabbing them repeatedly with his knife. He seems quite calm, cheerful, even. "I haven't had this much fun since the strawberry slaughter of '32!"

[Hoseki]

Miress looks up at Atriuls. "Why are you stabbing that potato?" she asks tiredly.

[Kyral]

He looks at Miress and smiles. "It all has to do with my never-ending war on potatoes, and all that claim alliegance with them." He tosses them on the floor and begins stomping on them, still with a smile on his face.

[Hoseki]

Miress looks distinctly uneasy. "You've declared a never-ending war on potatoes? Why?"

[Nevrmore]

Ater eyes Atriul smashing the potatos...A strange glint was in his stare.

[Kyral]

((Sorry, was eating dinner))
He shrugs. "Well, why not? They've plagued this world for centuries. I figure it's my job to get rid of them all."

[Hoseki]

"Most people don't consider potatoes a plague, you know... they're vital to the economies of many small towns."

[Kyral]

Atriuls raises an eyebrow and takes a sip of his water, then smirks. "You know what? You're a very strange person."

[Nevrmore]

Ater continues staring at the mashed potatoes, almost amorously.

[Hoseki]

Miress looks puzzled, but not offended. "Why do you say that?"

[Kyral]

"Potatoes not a plague? Clearly not the normal view of them. I remember the potatoe famine of '67. It was the happiest year of my life. Children danced in the streets, and the world was happy..."

[Hoseki]

Miress blinks politely. "That sounds quite odd."

[Kyral]

"Indeed. But we were free!" He stands, and, to emphasize the point, begins smashing the potatoes on the floor with his foot. "And so shall we be free again! For the revolution is upon us!"

[Hoseki]

Miress finally begins edging away slowly. "Um. That's nice."

[Kyral]

"Yes! I shall command the war from the point of-"
"Atriuls, dammit!" A voice roars from the heavens.
Atriuls looks up and sighs. "Yes?"
"Are you scaring the mortals again?"
"Well, what else is there to do?"
"You're certainly not going to get your godood back at this rate."
"Ah, gods...I'm not the God of Justice anymore, remember?"
There's no answer.
Atriuls swears under his breath and sits back down at the bar.

[Hoseki]

Miress peers at Atriuls. "You were a god?"

[Kyral]

"It's that hard to believe?" Atriuls rolls his eyes. "Looks like my public image is just sparkling!"

[Hoseki]

"You were acting like a crazy person who hates potatoes. Did you expect me to think you were a blasted ex-god?!" Miress seems more than a little ticked off.

[Kyral]

"Well, you don't have to get angry about it! Lord!" He downs the rest of his drink and tosses the glass behind the bar. "For the record, I'm more or less in the middle of nowhere. No one reveres me for being an ex-god, so why in the hell should I even act sane?"

[Hoseki]

"Well, why not?" demands Miress.

[Kyral]

Atriuls laughs. "As the saying goes, it takes less muscles to smile than it does to frown, but it doesn't take any muscles to sit there with a dumb look on your face. It takes so much less effort to be insane than it does to be sane."
Because of some strange side effect in the Hamlet's water that strangely mirrors that of the Town, he promptly falls asleep.
((Gotta run))

[Hoseki]

Miress scowls. "Damn gods..." she mutters.

[Deadly]

Schnick stands up and leaves the tavern to get some fresh air.

[Deadly]

Schnick walks back in and sits down next to the statue A Dragonbite bitter, please. he says and pays for the drink.

[InaVegt]

Evistal walks towards Schnick and smiles.

Weren't you looking for a wizard?

[Deadly]

Schnick smiles and nods at Evistal Indeed I was. I made an arrangement with one, or rather a friend of one, and am still waiting for news on that... although I get the feeling I may have been fooled. he frowns

[InaVegt]

Well, my keen elven senses noticed an astounding feat of magic, and when I looked through the window in the direction of the feat there suddenly was a very high tower.

[Kyral]

Atriuls looks up from his position at the bar at Evistal, debating whether or not to keep up his 'angry, sarcastic fiend' image. In the end, the pro-anger side of his mind wins and he looks up at the elf. "Potatoes. Fried. Three and a half."

[Deadly]

Schnick raises an eyebrow and goes to look out a window I certainly looks like the kind of tower a wizard would live in... he turns back to Evistal Thanks for telling me, I'll go check it out. Who knows, perhaps this wizard can help.

[InaVegt]

The elf conjures them up, easily, using magic.

You're welcome

[Deadly]

Schnick finished his beer and leaves the tavern to check out this new tower.

[Kyral]

He finishes the potatoes quickly. By finish, of course, I mean by destroying them within seconds. He looks up at Evistal. "Ah, good! You've noticed my tower?"

[InaVegt]

Your tower? So that one is 50 yards high and appeared with magic?

[Kyral]

"Fifty..." He thinks. "...yards...hell, mine's bigger'n that. It did appear with magic..." He looks out the window and gasps when he sees the other Tower. He quickly vaults through and starts running down the Street.

[Xaspian]

Suddenly, a large sheep crashes through the other window. A halfling falls off the animal's back, and rolls along the floor.

He stands up, looking slightly dazed.

I- I'd like a drink, please.

He says as he staggers to the bar, and tries to get onto one of the chairs.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After a few attempts, he makes it up, and stands up on the seat.

Dragon-Dragonbite Bitter, please.

He fumbles in his pockets, looking for his wallet.

Dammit, I had it somewhere.

The sheep shakes itself, and headbutts its master. It has a small pouch of money in its mouth.

Algodar? Oh... My money. Musta' dropped it on the way in.

The Halfling fumbles for a bit, and pays for the drink. He begins to drink it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A couple of times, he nearly falls off his chair, but slowly, he seems to recover.

Algodar, the sheep, wanders around the room, and begins to eat the cloak of an NPC farmer.

[Nevrmore]

Murphy runs inside the tavern, passing Shidar and the pack mules.

"I got a new pet!!" He proclaims proudly, holding a jar full of toxic yellow gas up for the world to see.

[Rebonack]

The gas, much to the surprise of anyone looking at it, has a distinctly kitten-like quality to it. It’s hard to explain, really.

[Nevrmore]

Murphy begins trolling around the bar, shoving the jar in people's faces and demanding they pet the jar, whom he continuously calls "Josephine."

[Kyral]

Atriuls appears in the room, seething with rage. He runs up to the bar, glaring at Evistal. "DragonbitebitternoworI'mgoingtobeveryangry!" Evistal hurriedly mixes the drink and slides it down the bar to him. Atriuls grabs the glass and flings it to the floor, where it smashes into several hundred small pieces.

[Xaspian]

Algodar stops chewing the cloak, and shakes some more dust and glass out of his fleece.

The halfling glances at Atruils.

Bad day?

He takes some more of his drink, spilling a fair amount on the floor.

[Kyral]

Atriuls snarls and turns to him. "Hell yes, I'm having a bad day. Some other tower is sucking away all of my business and..." He puts a hand to his forehead, thinking. "Gods, how am I going to steal it back? Do I add a hot tub to the indoor pool? More items to the general store?"
A lazy voice echoes from the sky.
"I might remind you that you're not the one actually doing any of that."
Atriuls screams back up, "Well, nobody asked you!" He looks back and snaps his fingers. "Right! Advertising!" He runs up to the halfling and hands him a flyer that conveniently wasn't in his hand before. "Please come to the God of Justice's General Store and Inn!"

[Xaspian]

The halfling looks at the flyer, and then back at Atriuls.

God of Justice?
He raises an eyebrow
Never mind. Are you offering jobs?

[Kyral]

"Jobs? No, that's means I'd have to pay someon-" He stops midway through and smiles. "Yes, jobs by the dozen!"

[Xaspian]

What do you want us to do? We can do most stuff, and we've got a fair amount of experience...

[Kyral]

"Erm..." Atriuls thinks for several minutes. "You can be the maid. Or, eh...what's the male equivalent of maid..." He shrugs. "The sheep can be the security guard for the store."

[Xaspian]

Umm.. Butler? Manservant? Alright then. And Algodar's good at guarding things. He can be very persuasive.

Algodar wanders over.

Baaa.

Absent-mindedly, the halfling strokes the sheep, but stops after nearly cutting his hand on some stuck glass.

When do we start, and how much do we get paid?

[Kyral]

"You start..." Atriuls looks at his watch. "Now. The Inn's just down the Street. Six silver a day."
Noticing that the halfling and sheep seem to have been frozen, he sticks a post-it note to each of their foreheads and scribbles on it, I'm taking this out of your paycheck. He then sprints out the door.

[Flabbicus]

The faun wakes up from its long nap. It yawns, revealing its razor-sharp fanged teeth. He orders some meat and starts gnawing on a pile of buffalo ribs.

[Xaspian]

The halfling grabs the post-it, and reads it.

Dammit. Ah, well, we'd better get going, Al.

He finishes his drink, and he shoves the sheep out of the front door.

[Flabbicus]

Boooring...

The faun devours the rest of the platter ravenously, bones and all, and stands up. It bolts through the front door quick as lightning before anyone can close it and a faint ripple can be seen where he once stood.

[Acco Spoot]

With a gentle oook the Monkey lands from having lept through the window, attracted by the smell of cooked meat and his now empty foodsack he is pulled towards the bar expecting the normal acts of generosity humans granted to those less intelligent and thus more cute than them.

[Lord Magtok]

'Joe' enters the tavern, the spurs on his boots clinking with each step, and his revolvers secure in the leather holsters hung on his waist.

To the bartender: Gimme a Dragonbite bitter, an' buffalo jerky.

[Xaspian]

Nameless walks in, and orders a drink. He pays, and takes it over to a table, where he sits drinking it, slowly.

[Kyral]

Atriuls walks into the bar. "Do you have any knives back there? Sharp knives?" Evistal raises an eyebrow. "Uh-huh." "Toss me one, will you?" "...sir..." "There's a tip in it for you."
Evistal shrugs and tosses Atriuls a knife. Atriuls begins boredly flinging it point first against the wall, then retrieving it.
"This better be a pretty big tip..." Mutters Evistal under his breath.

[Xaspian]

Nameless watches Atruils for a while. He mutters to himself, and wonders why his employer seems so angry.

[Castaras]

A level 1 warrior runs in.

" N4M 15 1337!!!1!!! "
" 1'|| P00|\| J00! "

[Xaspian]

A few of the NPC regulars sigh. Soon, the Level 1 Fighter is surrounded by a gang of angry-looking locals.

Nameless strolls over to the bar.

Do you do popcorn?

[Castaras]

The fighter looks at all of them.

3|2|2|\/|...1'|| p00n j00?

[Xaspian]

Nameless sits down, and starts munching the popcorn. Which apparently, was added to the menu.

One of the locals grunts, and they all start attacking the fighter.

Nameless turns to Evistal.
This happen much around here?
Oh, every so often. That's the problem with low level areas.

[Castaras]

4|-|! 0|_|[|-|! 00000[|-|!

The 1337 speaker dies a horrible death. The world celebrates.

[Xaspian]

The locals toss the body out of the window, and go back to their drinks.

Nameless finishes his popcorn.
Well, that relieved my boredom temporarily.