Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VI: This Isn't A Checklist, We Swear!

[GorinichSerpant]

* Killing a bogeyman with my group doesn't mean: "Now all children's closets and bed undersides are free to be reigned by the fairies once more."
** Especially if both the Tooth Fairy and the Bogeyman are considered Fey in our rulebooks.
*** I may not pledge a hunt to kill every mystical creature interfering with human(oid)-kind.
**** I will not try to up the irony with killing everything with their own weapons (aka scaring the bogeyman, pulling all the teeth of the tooth fairy and stealing the slenderman)

With what sorcery do to steal slenderman?

[Wookieetank]

* Killing a bogeyman with my group doesn't mean: "Now all children's closets and bed undersides are free to be reigned by the fairies once more."
** Especially if both the Tooth Fairy and the Bogeyman are considered Fey in our rulebooks.
*** I may not pledge a hunt to kill every mystical creature interfering with human(oid)-kind.
**** I will not try to up the irony with killing everything with their own weapons (aka scaring the bogeyman, pulling all the teeth of the tooth fairy and stealing the slenderman)

*****I am not to invade the monster world through the closet portals.
******Taking over the monster world and using its extensive system of closet door portals to reign terror upon the human world is right out.

[DigoDragon]

With what sorcery do to steal slenderman?

* Not allowed to point out to the GM that because The Real Ghostbusters defeated the boogyman, their unlicensed nuclear accelerators should theoretically work on other magical creatures.
** Banned from attempting to see how many creatures from the Monster Manual will fit into a ghost trap.

[Thomas Hunter]

*The fighter does not use explosives to increase his jump height.
**The artificer does not craft with melee attacks.
***The alchemist does not see rainbows instead of fire and hear laughs of joy instead of screams of pain.
****Nor is he missing an eye and uses a bottle as a melee weapon.
*****The barbarian does not say, "Some people say they can outsmart me. Maybe. I have yet to meet one that can outsmart greataxe." Nor does he carry a sandwich everywhere.
******The ranger does not carry a baseball bat.
*******Nor does he automatically crit on a called headshot.
********The rogue may have a maxed out disguise skill, but sneak attack isn't quite an autokill.
*********The cleric does not request his patients to hold their own ribcages open, nor can he make his heal targets invincible.

*Any character concept containing the word "TF2" is automatically vetoed.

[Ksheep]

* My wizard should know better than to try to open uncontrolled portals to other planes
** When a hoard of hostile creatures comes through the portal, he may not become a one-man army trying to fight them off
*** My wizard's weapon of choice is not the crowbar
**** Nor has my wizard become mute, rendering most (if not all) of his spells uncastable

[Socratov]

*The fighter does not use explosives to increase his jump height.
**The artificer does not craft with melee attacks.
***The alchemist does not see rainbows instead of fire and hear laughs of joy instead of screams of pain.
****Nor is he missing an eye and uses a bottle as a melee weapon.
*****The barbarian does not say, "Some people say they can outsmart me. Maybe. I have yet to meet one that can outsmart greataxe." Nor does he carry a sandwich everywhere.
******The ranger does not carry a baseball bat.
*******Nor does he automatically crit on a called headshot.
********The rogue may have a maxed out disguise skill, but sneak attack isn't quite an autokill.
*********The cleric does not request his patients to hold their own ribcages open, nor can he make his heal targets invincible.

*Any character concept containing the word "TF2" is automatically vetoed.

*There is no such thing as a stack of hats to combine head slot items.
**An at-will item of heal will be way to expensive.
***No, channeling overheal doesn't work that way.
****Stop looking at the Spy weapons for ideas to enchant your weapons with.
*****No, clerics and crossbows, indeed, do not go together
******Sigh, ok, ok, I'll go start up steam...

[GPuzzle]

*Create a portal through a ritual? Sure.
**They're blue and orange? Weird.
***NO, YOUR ARTIFICER CANNOT MAKE LEMONS INTO GRENADES.

[Thomas Hunter]

*There are more ways to transport warforged than to violently disassemble them and then carefully resemble them.

[Graypairofsocks]

*There are more ways to transport warforged than to violently disassemble them and then carefully resemble them.

**Disintegrating them and and resurrecting them is effectively the same.

[Ksheep]

**Disintegrating them and and resurrecting them is effectively the same.

You'd need True Resurrection for that, since Resurrection requires a part of the body. That said…

* I may not recreate Star Trek style teleporters by setting up paired Disintegrate/True Resurrection traps
** If I do try this, the magic user in the party will likely ask why I didn't just use Teleportation or Greater Teleportation
*** Claiming that the Disintegrate/True Resurrection method has a longer (or rather, near-infinite) range is not a good enough reason
**** I may not claim that this method is more "authentic" either

[razorfloss]

You'd need True Resurrection for that, since Resurrection requires a part of the body. That said…

* I may not recreate Star Trek style teleporters by setting up paired Disintegrate/True Resurrection traps
** If I do try this, the magic user in the party will likely ask why I didn't just use Teleportation or Greater Teleportation
*** Claiming that the Disintegrate/True Resurrection method has a longer (or rather, near-infinite) range is not a good enough reason
**** I may not claim that this method is more "authentic" either

well you're not wrong lol

*may not play a barb that is a pacifist
**may not make custom feats to make said pacifist a better fighter then the fighter
***my not then use custom feats to make my barbs voice a deadly weapon

[Deremir]

*Create a portal through a ritual? Sure.
**They're blue and orange? Weird.
***NO, YOUR ARTIFICER CANNOT MAKE LEMONS INTO GRENADES.

*a custom dimension door that's persistent and needs a visible flat surface to cast on? ok i guess...
**your gonna make a wand with the spell, sure.
*** you wanna be a commoner who wears a orange jump suit?.... no! no! NO! you are not chell!

[DigoDragon]

* No longer allowed to create Omni Consumer Products as an AA-rated megacorp.
** No corporation should realistically have the motto 'If its not hurting you, it isn't an OCP product'.
*** Not allowed to go around killing off major figures like Lofwyr and Damien Knight in such contrived ways as 'accidental asteroid'.
**** No longer allowed to derail your own campaign with dark satirical commercials that cause all the PCs to just walk away from the campaign.

[Jay R]

*I cannot use a giant catapult to try to catch dinner.
**I cannot buy a giant rocket sled to try to catch dinner.
***I cannot use a giant rubber band to shoot myself through the air to try to catch dinner.
****Forget it. There are no roadrunners in this world.

[Loxagn]

*If at any point my fifteen-year-old mech pilot hands NERV's head of research and development her tuchas in a discussion about scientific phenomena, it's probably not a good time to gloat to her about it.
**This goes double if my pilot has also proven himself more adept at revealing angels' abilities and weaknesses than the multi-billion-dollar supercomputer system sitting in Central Dogma.
***Triple if all of a sudden I'm replicating quantum physics phenomena that were not even thought possible outside of a purely-theoretical environment. Phenomena that said supercomputer was previously describing as 'gypsy space magic bull****'.

[Laughing Dog]

*Deadpool is never an appropriate character concept.
**No, not even then.
*'More Teeth than the entire Osmond Family' is not an appropriate concept for a hero.
*If I am having a hard time trying to figure out what my next character concept should be, I will ask people. I will not go to TvTropes and hit the link to a random page.

[Spore]

*I cannot use a giant catapult to try to catch dinner.
**I cannot buy a giant rocket sled to try to catch dinner.
***I cannot use a giant rubber band to shoot myself through the air to try to catch dinner.
****Forget it. There are no roadrunners in this world.

***** Even if you could technically roll on Survival to hunt for your group, using Evocation magic to hunt down rabbits "readily grilled" using Fireballs for it does NOT gut them or skin them. It's a singed mess of burned hair and smelly entrails.
****** Maybe you really should try and find some berries. Hunting bears is an encounter, not a Survival roll for you!

[Sith_Happens]

*Not allowed to begin Pavlovian experiments on my fellow pilots.
**When it's discovered that I am, in fact, conducting Pavlovian Behavior Experiments on my fellow pilots, it is probably not a good thing that my first reaction is 'Well, great. Now they know they're being studied, I'll have to toss out all my results. Thanks.'

As a scientist myself, I approve.:smallwink:


*Not every plan involves a hell-fire cloak and a wheelbarrow.

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/236x/c8/39/5e/c8395ee3274424886803ea2632093343.jpg


* The DM said "Theremins do not exist in Pathfinder, and should not anywhere else". This was a statement, not a challenge.

True story, in one campaign I played in we dragged along a kobold "scientist" we found as a henchman and convinced him to become a Bard. So he invented the theremin.


*There are more ways to transport warforged than to violently disassemble them and then carefully resemble them.

** This goes double for immortal-but-still-fleshy races.

[DigoDragon]

* Even if you could technically roll on Survival to hunt for your group, using Evocation magic to hunt down rabbits "readily grilled" using Fireballs for it does NOT gut them or skin them. It's a singed mess of burned hair and smelly entrails.

** Also not allowed to substitute Polymorph Any Object as a 'Plan B'



* 'More Teeth than the entire Osmond Family' is not an appropriate concept for a hero.

** Nor is it allowed anymore for an appropriate monster encounter. :smallbiggrin:

[Prince Raven]

* Anything with the working title "Booty Call of Cthulhu" is immediately vetoed.

[Wookieetank]

* Anything with the working title "Booty Call of Cthulhu" is immediately vetoed.

**Anything with "Booty" in the working title not refering to loot is right out.

[Red Fel]

**Anything with "Booty" in the working title not refering to loot is right out.

*** And no, I don't define that as "loot."

[Socksy]

* If a chain of events leads to the existence of a half-Dragon lamp post, it's retroactively a shared dream.

[DigoDragon]

* Dr. Doom is hereby forbidden from hiring aliens to retrieve his wife from any European country not sanctioned by the United Nations.
** SHIELD is no longer allowed jurisdiction to give the 'Okay' on this adventure anyway despite all rational logic to the contrary.

[GPuzzle]

*No more underwater cities.
**Nor floating cities.
***Nor lighthouses.
****Or extradimensional portals.
*****Anything involving tons of copies of a single person that are your daughter (of the two versions of you) drowning you is downright prohibited.

[Lord Raziere]

* You may play a flexbot
** I guess yes you can make four forks of yourself
*** I guess putting them all in flexbots too is fine....
**** why are they in different colors?
***** NO YOU CANNOT ALL MERGE TOGETHER AND YELL "GO GO POWER FLEXBOOOTS!" AND START DESTROYING THE JOVIAN REPUBLIC AS IF YOUR A SUPER SENTAI MECHA!

[Balmas]

*No more underwater cities.
**Nor floating cities.
***Nor lighthouses.
****Or extradimensional portals.
*****Anything involving tons of copies of a single person that are your daughter (of the two versions of you) drowning you is downright prohibited.

******Warforged do not exist to protect female gnomes.
*******In most cases, consuming potions you find laying around will lead to death, not superpowers.
********Any character concept that uses a golf club as their primary weapon is retroactively vetoed.
*********Even if the rules allow it, my wizard may not be Jack.
**********Would you kindly forget about this whole thing?

[Socksy]

* Cannot make a bi-gendered Drow just because I want to play a Mystic Theurge and I heard XP penalties for multiclassing were going to be used.

* If the wizard weighs less than 5lb, he loses access to Mage Hand.

[Lord Raziere]

* Yes my flexbot may transform into an awesome motorcycle
** Yes it may also transform into a mini-jet airplane
*** or a tank
**** or a truck
***** or a mini-race car
****** even machine versions of animals, all fine.
*******proclaiming "Transformers, more than meets the eye!" while putting on transformers music while your flexbot does so however, is not allowed.

[Ksheep]

* Trying to bring a dead loved one back to life is perfectly reasonable
** Devoting the rest of your life to try to do this is slightly less reasonable
*** If these attempts to bring him back span over more that 5 separate campaigns, it's time to give it a rest
**** If my plans to bring him back involve harvesting the souls of all life on the planet in order to power a ritual, I just might be the BBEG

* If I want to keep my research secret, I should consider writing it in code, not committing genocide to destroy an entire race and then use their now-dead language for note taking

* Creating a wonder-crop which is a mix of Potatoes, Wheat, and Rice, which can grow to large sizes with no soil depletion and up to five harvests a year is quite commendable
** Creating this crop such that after a few years (once it's been widely adopted as a staple crop) it floods the atmosphere with a sentient form of Anthrax is not quite so commendable

* I may not stockpile hundreds of gallons of my own blood over the course of centuries in order to perform a ritual powerful enough to make the sun disappear completely for 15 minutes
** Especially when the only reason I needed to do this was to get a better view of the stars
*** Doubly so if I could have gotten the same effect with a telescope

[Alex12]

*snip*

I like the way you think, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

[Ksheep]

I like the way you think, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Actually, not something that happened to me or my group. Just something I saw posted on Reddit (and originally from /tg/). Here's the source. (http://i.imgur.com/4Od1ovI.png)

[Grim Portent]

* I may play a character who has the mutation that makes him part daemon.
** Using lore tests and evil artifacts to summon a daemon army to fight an ork army is awesome.
*** Binding a squad of daemonhosts to use as bodyguards is forbidden.
**** Daemon apocalypses are not the answer to all the problems in the campaign.
***** Abusing the rules for alternate ranks to become the most powerful psyker in the campaign while also having physical stats that put a space marine to shame and the knowledge of how to create daemon servitors and the charm to sway the masses to support me is a blatant example of powergaming and I should feel ashamed for having even worked out how to do it. If I proceed with this character the entire Inquisition will be knocking on my door.
****** No I did not expect the Imperial Inquisition.

[razorfloss]

* I may play a character who has the mutation that makes him part daemon.
** Using lore tests and evil artifacts to summon a daemon army to fight an ork army is awesome.
*** Binding a squad of daemonhosts to use as bodyguards is forbidden.
**** Daemon apocalypses are not the answer to all the problems in the campaign.
***** Abusing the rules for alternate ranks to become the most powerful psyker in the campaign while also having physical stats that put a space marine to shame and the knowledge of how to create daemon servitors and the charm to sway the masses to support me is a blatant example of powergaming and I should feel ashamed for having even worked out how to do it. If I proceed with this character the entire Inquisition will be knocking on my door.
****** No I did not expect the Imperial Inquisition.

did you or did you not try to kill the emperor if so did you succeed

[Grim Portent]

did you or did you not try to kill the emperor if so did you succeed

Sadly I didn't get to use the character. Something about it not being appropriate for Rogue Trader. :smalltongue:

Though it is surprising just how powerful Explorator's can be if you have Navis Primer, Hostile Acquisitions and Into the Storm. A mutant Secessionist Genetor Acolyte of Abraxas Awakened Psyker can be looking at charm under 80 to 500 people at once with space marine physical scores, psy rating 7 (With Wyrdling and the lineage that gives psychic powers) and the skills needed to forge an army of humans servitors and daemons into a mighty legion.

Going to try it in a different game that should be starting back up in a few months. If it gets permitted (though the GM for that game really seems to dislike the idea of me getting to do anything with daemons except fight them) I might have a story to tell. I also need to make a model for it, the GM likes my models and it might help get it approved.

EDIT: The campaign was going to focus around fighting Orks and Chaos, so I immediately set out planning on how to turn one against the other, as I am wont to do. Chaos is easier to control than Orks, though Orks are easier to dupe. Add in the resources of Rogue Trader characters and making/acquiring servitors is easy. Make cults from ordinary planetary populaces and the ships crew, summon daemons using the help of cultists/servitors trained to lend assistance and make daemonic possessed minions by backporting the rules for daemon engine creation from BC and port in the daemonhost rules from DH.

The hardest part is convincing other party members it's a good idea. Using the word 'power' a lot seems to help with that though.

[Adoendithas]

* The term for the most powerful cleric in Menzoberranzan is the Matron Mother of House Baenre, not "the big momma".
** If I say that near a drow I should not be surprised when they attack me.

Happened to one of my players today.

[Leviting]

* Yes my flexbot may transform into an awesome motorcycle
** Yes it may also transform into a mini-jet airplane
*** or a tank
**** or a truck
***** or a mini-race car
****** even machine versions of animals, all fine.
*******proclaiming "Transformers, more than meets the eye!" while putting on transformers music while your flexbot does so however, is not allowed.

I don't fully understand flexbots, how does one do this?

[GPuzzle]

*No more scissor blades.
**Or copious amounts of fanservice.
***Copious amounts of badassery, however, are allowed and encouraged.
****No, you do not need scissor blades to be badass.
*****Nor the copious amount of fanservice.

[toapat]

Actually, not something that happened to me or my group. Just something I saw posted on Reddit (and originally from /tg/). Here's the source. (http://i.imgur.com/4Od1ovI.png)

I want to know what Scott Manly had to do with that campain.

[captpike]

*you want the clumsy flaw? sure
**sure you fly
***supersonic? sure if you pay the points for it
****wait wait what do you mean you can ONLY fly supersonic?
*****no the bank manager does not want to thank you, you destroyed his building by flying THROUGH the villain at the speed of sound, then you went through two building supports afterward.
******collateral damage man is banned, and hereafter retconed out of existence

[Ryu_Bonkosi]

*you want the clumsy flaw? sure
**sure you fly
***supersonic? sure if you pay the points for it
****wait wait what do you mean you can ONLY fly supersonic?
*****no the bank manager does not want to thank you, you destroyed his building by flying THROUGH the villain at the speed of sound, then you went through two building supports afterward.
******collateral damage man is banned, and hereafter retconed out of existence

******There are no myths or legends revolving around Collateral Damage Man.
*******The Inquisition will purge the city if stories of Collateral Damage Man continue to surface.
********You may not use this knowledge to purposefully try to get the city destroyed in some sort of cruel irony.

[Spore]

******There are no myths or legends revolving around Collateral Damage Man.
*******The Inquisition will purge the city if stories of Collateral Damage Man continue to surface.
********You may not use this knowledge to purposefully try to get the city destroyed in some sort of cruel irony.
********* No more mentioning Collateral Damage Man in this thread. Seriously, you annoy my room mates with my over the top laughter.

[Alex12]

********* No more mentioning Collateral Damage Man in this thread. Seriously, you annoy my room mates with my over the top laughter.
********** Captain Collateral Damage is right out.

[spineyrequiem]

* Even if nothing in the rules says so, I eventually have to stop cartwheeling. I definitely can't do it instead of walking.

* When I say I will 'die like my ancestors', it is assumed that this refers to one of the recent, berserker ones. I am forbidden from stripping naked, screaming like an early hominid and attempting to climb the nearest tree.
** I am also forbidden from dying like my grandfather (wandering off a cliff while contemplating what to have for dinner)

* Although it's a perfectly valid backstory to be in the party to atone for my crimes, the crimes in question have to be cool ones like theft or murder. Not 'indecent exposure in the presence of a bishop'.

* I have to buy equipment BEFORE the adventure, and can't just try to get it when I need it as an 'Urgent Operational Requirement' at several times the price.
** Even if the British Army can.

* I am forbidden from checking if my equipment is 'squaddy proof'. Since the only piece of equipment which has never been broken by squaddies is the 3/4" ball bearing, it can be assumed that I can break anything else.
** I am forbidden from attempting to break the 3/4" ball bearing.

* No attempting to finance dungeon crawls by inventing a magical artefact which will record everything I see and transmit it to some sort of large screen in a nearby major city, where I charge admittance fees to view our exploits
** I am particularly forbidden from filming fellow party members as they sleep and charging extra to view this
*** I am forbidden even more from asking fellow party members to 'shake what your mama gave you' in front of me.
**** Most of all, I am forbidden from using time when we're not fighting for paid advertisements (me holding up the product in question and saying why I use it)

* I am forbidden from using various illusion spells, teleports and time stops to keep dozens of secret identities in multiple countries in existence at the same time
** Especially if doing so requires all my spells for the day.

[Socksy]

* When I say I will 'die like my ancestors', it is assumed that this refers to one of the recent, berserker ones. I am forbidden from stripping naked, screaming like an early hominid and attempting to climb the nearest tree.

I think that made me laugh harder than anything else in this thread.

[DigoDragon]

* Oliver Winchester was not an Egyptian pharaoh.
** You are not Billy Numerous' 'risen from the grave' grandmother.
*** Your superhero mutant ability to absorb damage does not extend to any vehicle you're driving.
**** Banned from drag racing on a Segway.

[Braininthejar2]

* I am forbidden from using various illusion spells, teleports and time stops to keep dozens of secret identities in multiple countries in existence at the same time
** Especially if doing so requires all my spells for the day.

A higher level hat of disguise (enchanted with alter self instead) can save you a lot of slots here. One of my favourite campaigns had my wizard do it.

[ChaosArchon]

*Nice backstory, son of nobility whose mother was murdered and his sister was crippled, I think I can work this into a a side-plot for you
**Yes your wizard can learn Geas, theres no reason why he shouldn't
***Did you just say all the tasks at hand have been cleared... damnit no you can't create Lelouch

[unseenmage]

* Tumbling through enemy spaces is okay.
** Doing so until the enemy becomes dizzy or sick is definitely not okay.

[nhbdy]

* Tumbling through enemy spaces is okay.
** Doing so until the enemy becomes dizzy or sick is definitely not okay.

***Creating a spell to summon an illusionary tumbler to achieve the same effect is right out

[Sith_Happens]

Actually, not something that happened to me or my group. Just something I saw posted on Reddit (and originally from /tg/). Here's the source. (http://i.imgur.com/4Od1ovI.png)

* If my campaign premise can be summarized as "cockblocking an elf" with any degree of accuracy, it is vetoed.

From an actual session I played:

* There are better ways to gain entry to a crime scene than Intimidating the guards posted there, especially if I'm trying to help.
** Should I subsequently find myself under arrest for threatening a guardsman, the proper response is not to try and Intimidate my would-be arresters into backing off.
* If it's one day from my trial for starting a deadly fight, I should not start another deadly fight while in jail.

I'm not playing with the sharpest tools in the shed.:smallsigh:

[Mrc.]

*Must not play with sharp shed tools.
**Must not attempt to implement a "better" critical fumble table.

[Erik Vale]

* If my campaign premise can be summarized as "cockblocking an elf" with any degree of accuracy, it is vetoed.

From an actual session I played:

* There are better ways to gain entry to a crime scene than Intimidating the guards posted there, especially if I'm trying to help.
** Should I subsequently find myself under arrest for threatening a guardsman, the proper response is not to try and Intimidate my would-be arresters into backing off.


I'm not playing with the sharpest tools in the shed.:smallsigh:

1: So even if it's 100% inaccurate it's vetoed? That's still a degree of accuracy. 0%.

And ** is entirely reasonable.

[Bucky]

I know I covered druid football in one of these threads, but did I ever do the dodgeball version?

[Afool]

I know I covered druid football in one of these threads, but did I ever do the dodgeball version?

I'd say you could do the first again, it's been a while, and I don't believe you've done the second.

[Bucky]

Soccer episode was here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?257965-Things-I-May-No-Longer-Do-While-Playing-IV-The-Decanter-of-Endless-Bad-Ideas&p=14137915#post14137915).

*Burrowing now banned during dodgeball games.
**Flooding the dodgeball circle is frowned upon.
***Fine, you can have your mirror images.
****But using illusionary decoys to hide the fact that the real you is invisible is just unfair.
*****Effects that grant immunity to projectiles don't change the fact that you got hit.
******And you aren't allowed to use effects that automatically deflect balls either!
*******Do I really need to say this every game? STOP CHARMING THE OTHER TEAM!

[Hyena]

From an actual game that I'm playing with Socksy:

* If my plan boils down to "1) Air vents 2) C4", it's vetoed.
** C4 is never appropriate, but doubly so in the densely populated urban areas.
*** My superhero name is "Jackal", not "Black scottish cyclops", so C4 exploding under my feet will most likely kill me.
***** I don't get any exp for collateral damage.
****** Worst. Superhero. Ever.


* My character does not get bonuses for attacks of opportunity for having a moral high ground.
** By the way, if my sith is the most moral party member, the entire party remakes their characters.

[Spore]

* Gasing the air vents with poisonous gas isn't "an effective stratagem to cirumvent several fights"
** Especially if you need to rescue the slaves held in there
*** Rescuing SOME of them is NOT what the quest giver had in mind.
**** Remember you can't tell the guy that the baddies killed the slaves. He is right behind you casting Color Spray.

[GPuzzle]

*Any guns whose power can be measured in "wubs" are proactively banned.

[Loxagn]

*When creating concepts for 'B-List superhero team', Captain Canada is an alright character concept.
**He does not, however, have a pet Dire Moose named Stanley.
***Nor is he obligated to apologize to every mook he punches out.
****Captain Canada does not have the Power Loss complication if he does not consume a gallon jug of maple syrup with every breakfast.
*****Nor if he is exposed to American beer.

[toapat]

* My character does not get bonuses for attacks of opportunity for having a moral high ground.
** By the way, if my sith is the most moral party member, the entire party remakes their characters.

***Not to then point out that The Dark Side is powered by all emotion, not just hatred, envy, and anger.

[Prince Raven]

* I may not point out that Captain America is wearing Puerto Rico's flag.

[Erik Vale]

Wait, what?

I.... *Mind blows*

[Arkhosia]

*Sure, I can play a drow who's kinda crazy
**She can be an artificer/Rogue, I guess
***Well, I dunno about the 4th wall breaking idea, but sure, why not?
****NO. NO TURTLE CONSTRUCTS.
*****I DONT GIVE A DAMN IF IT'S COMPLETELY IN CHARACTER CUZ SHE WORSHIPS THE GREAT TURTLE GOD, NO!

[GPuzzle]

*Sure, I can play a drow who's kinda crazy
**She can be an artificer/Rogue, I guess
***Well, I dunno about the 4th wall breaking idea, but sure, why not?
****NO. NO TURTLE CONSTRUCTS.
*****I DONT GIVE A DAMN IF IT'S COMPLETELY IN CHARACTER CUZ SHE WORSHIPS THE GREAT TURTLE GOD, NO!

Explain. Please.

*I shall never mention the incident involving Cthulhu, the Cold War: The Musical On Ice, and Hetalia ever again.

[Lord Raziere]

***Not to then point out that The Dark Side is powered by all emotion, not just hatred, envy, and anger.

**** Making a Sith Order based on happiness, positive reinforcement, friendship and love is not allowed
***** Populating them with ponies is right out.

[Afool]

* I may not point out that Captain America is wearing Puerto Rico's flag.

**May not counterpoint that Puerto Rico's flag is actually based off of Captain America's suit.

[Ksheep]

**May not counterpoint that Puerto Rico's flag is actually based off of Captain America's suit.

*** I may not counter-counterpoint that the Puerto Rican flag was designed 50 years (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_of_Puerto_Rico#Current_design) prior to the creation of Captain America, but was outlawed until it was officially adopted as the flag of Puerto Rico in 1952, some 60 years after it's initial design.

[toapat]

***Not to then point out that The Dark Side is powered by all emotion, not just hatred, envy, and anger.

****Not to point out the act of becoming a Force Ghost is an ultimate act of the darkside.

[Afool]

*** I may not counter-counterpoint that the Puerto Rican flag was designed 50 years (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_of_Puerto_Rico#Current_design) prior to the creation of Captain America, but was outlawed until it was officially adopted as the flag of Puerto Rico in 1952, some 60 years after it's initial design.

****May not apologize and thank the countering counterpoint for correcting me and for providing such information.
Seriously, thank you, and my apologizes for not doing the proper research on the subject.

[Arkhosia]

Explain. Please.

*I shall never mention the incident involving Cthulhu, the Cold War: The Musical On Ice, and Hetalia ever again.

Please describe said incident involving Hetalia!
There's a webcomoc called drowtales, and a maincharacter is Kiel, who's imaginary friend is whoever is reading the comic at the time (eventually she summons silhouettes tat are actually drowtales fans into the comic to aid her in stuff), is regarded crazy by most, and has a love of turtles. At one point, she has the golem builder of the clan build an ENORMOUS giant turtle war machine.

[Ksheep]

****May not apologize and thank the countering counterpoint for correcting me and for providing such information.
Seriously, thank you, and my apologizes for not doing the proper research on the subject.

Not a problem. I hadn't known this either until a couple weeks ago when Marvel was posting the "Cap came first" stuff. That had piqued my interest, so I researched and found that, while they weren't completely wrong, they weren't really right either…

[GPuzzle]

Please describe said incident involving Hetalia!
There's a webcomoc called drowtales, and a maincharacter is Kiel, who's imaginary friend is whoever is reading the comic at the time (eventually she summons silhouettes tat are actually drowtales fans into the comic to aid her in stuff), is regarded crazy by most, and has a love of turtles. At one point, she has the golem builder of the clan build an ENORMOUS giant turtle war machine.

Well, there's a running gag in my group which involves the description of the Cold War as "USSR and USA, looking at eachother, with the Kill Bill soundtrack going on in the background, on nuclear-bomb-shaped ice skates".

It became a running gag when one of the girls decided to draw that scene basing the way USSR and USA looked on Hetalia.

So, basically, every campaign has, at least once, a city with "The Cold War: The Musical On Ice" as a turist attraction. Yes, even the D&D, Shadowrun, and Exalted ones. Especially the Exalted ones.

On one moment, one character in a Call of Cthulhu campaign decided to pull off an Old Men Henderson and kill Cthulhu by setting off enough explosives to make Michael Bay blush just as he's summoned, since the musical turned out to be a facade for a Cthulhu summoning.

He exploded several nukes in the middle of downtown Chicago.

We nicknamed that campaign "Mythbusters: Call of Cthulhu edition" due to the sheer number of explosives that had been set off.

[Prince Raven]

Wait, what?

I.... *Mind blows*

And now you know why I can't point it out any more.

[White Blade]

* Saying "We must have faith" is appropriate only in some situations, even when playing a cleric.
** It is not appropriate when asked why you stole the local bar keep's whiskey stash.
*** It is definitely not appropriate to make a drinking game of it
**** If, when your cleric says, "We must have faith" he clearly means, "I'm gonna need another couple swigs of this stuff", well, he probably shouldn't be a cleric.
* Justifying your actions by quoting the scriptures of your faith in game is acceptable, even if you make them up on the spot.
** Making up ludicrous proverbs is not.
*** Saying, "Hear the roaring of the wind, it howls but no one heeds it" is not a response to me forbidding your actions.

[captpike]

*you want to be able to make copies of yourself to fight for you? sure
**I guess they can be younger
***when you were not an adult...weird but ok
****NO you may NOT have a toddler death squad
*****"but they can swarm my enemies, I swear they will keep me safe" does in fact not make it better
******nor may I blackmail supervilans with photos of them being taken out my 100 toddlers.

[GPuzzle]

*My character concept for Mutants & Masterminds cannot be Natalia Polonskaya wearing Junketsu.
**Nope, I cannot play this song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Mhcf-dXRVA&feature=kp) throughout the session.
***Alright, screw it. Give the GM two hours, and he'll adapt M&M for Kill la Kill.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfp1/t1.0-9/1459062_1480592745501890_1560659546_n.png

[GorinichSerpant]

***** I don't get any exp for collateral damage.


******Renaming your character won't hide the fact that he's Collateral Damage Man, stop trying.

[captpike]

*not allow to play drunk Man
**no I don't care that "he is only as powerful as he thinks he is"
***or that coffee can take your powers away
****there is no city that will make a superhero who's slogan is "beer gives me power" their mascot
*****yes in fact "being able to fly in a straight line" is NOT unreasonable requirement for a superhero license.

[DigoDragon]

* No longer allowed to cause a ruckus during a flight just because flying doesn't involve a combat encounter.
** Especially when you roll a 1 to cause that ruckus and punch out the businessman in first class.
*** Double-banned when you arrest the passenger you accidentally punched out and it turns out to be a hijacker the GM planned to showcase.
**** Not allowed to argue with the Air Marshal that you should get credit for your new method of protecting passenger flights.

[Sith_Happens]

*Any guns whose power can be measured in "wubs" are proactively banned.

* "Joy puke," "face lasers," "jovial fear pooping," and "dance kittens" are not actual side-effects of anything.
** "Frown failure" might be, if only as a consequence of facial paralysis.

[LunaLovecraft]

*Using extradimensional spaces to carry a merfolk immersed in water on a floating disk is pretty cool
**Playing a minotaur to carry your merfolk around with a rope is okay
***Spinning around might make make the sorcerer dizzy but is otherwise fine
****I may not use the sorcerer as a flail
*****Weapon Proficiency(Sorcerer) is right out
******I am now banned from interacting with floating disks

[MalcolmReynolds]

been loving the thread. now to finally post. from last night's mnm session...


*it is fine for the aerokinetic/lightning shooting robot to have the subtle upgrades, people wont know where the blast came from.
**using said electricity in a public place WILL cause a scene and draw attention, the upgrade means people wont know the source
***magneto will know its you when you try to lift his helmet off using a blast of wind. youre the only one in the room who could do it, and he has basic reasoning skills.
****yelling "it's subtle" at the top of your robot lungs as a battle cry renders the upgrade moot.



*the magnetic powered hero can indeed fluff his attacks as shooting metal "at bullet like speed".

**after the first five times, its starting to get old
***your hero must have other modes than "at bullet like speed" and "not moving"



*yes, your energy absorber can indeed try to fly away with an unconcious spiderman to save him from the sinister six.
**bashing into buildings to recharge your powers while doing so is not advised.



*Generally a good hero would help when the Hulk goes on a rampage, not steal people's wallets.
**nor would they kill mysterio...
***nor for that matter rip off the vultcher's wings and drop him from a building.
****blasting kraven the hunter in the face, thus killing him, when he first appears is just plain mean.
*****it is not ok to flay sabertooth's flesh from his bones just because he "literally cant be killed". that is metagaming.
******why is shield asking for your help again?



*players should talk about builds so that the telepath isnt the only one in six that cant fly by himself.
**i should not use my telepathy to spy on every passenger on the plane, that is rude.
***nor should i make my teammate hallucinate there is a bee on the plane just for my ammusement.
****i should not talk to people in their mind without prior warning. its not normal and people tend to get jumpy.
*****when finding out the concierge is both a mutant and homosexual, i should not make him feel specifically comfortable with being a mutant 'because thats his more pressing issue'
******i may have overdone it with the happy feelings when he grins stupidly into a bag and tells it he loves it.
*******mind controlling a guard, only to grab hold of another guard and have the first one jump off the railing, taking them both down, is really quite horrifying.
********controlling another guard to convince his friend to "drop his weapons, for i am legion and we are many", only to laugh in his face and copy is funny, but mean.
*********when taken aside by customs, the solution was to remember the details on your fake passport. the obvious solution isnt to make the officer hallucinate into seeing whatever you want him to.
**********this is why we dont let you play telepaths.



*going to save tony stark is good.
**hawkeye went missing too, you do need to save him as well.
***im not allowed to refer to hawkeye as 'arrow prick' just because the pissed off barman did.
****must remember to look for hawkeye on the boat that is sinking, not just grab tony and leave. (we actually forgot to look for him... whoops)

*must not aid and abet magneto in turning genosha into a mutant paradise by starting a bloody, anti-human revolution.
**at least not without checking with shield first.
***even though we didnt like how the mutants were in internment camps, fury is still not going to be happy.



*the taskmaster is a master of many tasks is not a good pickup line
**nor dirty talk
***do not get seduced by taskmaster. he is the bad guy.
****i dont care what he could theoretically do "with his powerset"



thats all i got for the moment

[toapat]

*My paladin is not to infiltrate House Szind as a ""Foriegn Drow" Undead Consultant"
**Expeciallly if she is clearly a High elf from Aerenal
***Not to then give correct advice on how to create a miriade variety of Undead
****Not to then teach House Szind how to make "The most powerful Undead ever"
*****Not to convince House Szind that the Deathless we just animated is still undead
******Not to then use Turn undead to command my new ally in a requisition campaign against all of Sschindylryn
*******Not to then Taunt Lolth because i commit genocide against her favorite toys and turned them against her
********Not to then research and ressurect Eilistraee for the Lulz
*********Not to then call in the full might of House Cannith and Lyrandar to bulldoze Sschindylryn
**********Not to turn the campaign into a proper Eberron Bleedover into Faerun durring the return of Mystra

[DigoDragon]

* Our stakeout on the suspect should be better thought out than 'The cleric stands inside the 7-11 with binoculars'."
** We're no longer allowed to bring the victim's brother to the sniper shootout without proper preparations.
*** This includes body armor, weapons, and backup. This does not include calling the local news station for a helicopter distraction.
**** Denver building codes do not include balsa-wood front doors and sugar glass windows. This is what a battering ram is for.
***** We are no longer allowed to call Denver PD's dispatch for an airstrike. Not happening.
****** 'Summon Two Doves' is not a real spell and we will not get a gun skill a bonus for attempting to invoke it.
******* At no point should the 'Good Cop/Bad Cop' interrogation technique involve a defibrillator when the subject isn't suffering a heart condition.
******** Not allowed to invoke a heart condition in the suspect to justify use of a defibrillator for interrogation.

[Loxagn]

*Neutronium is not, has not ever been, or will ever be a valid target for Polymorph Any Object.
**There are better uses of Polymorph Any Object than having my wizard with a strength of 8 use it to win power-lifting competitions.
***Even if it would be funny, no polymorphing the paladin's armor into solid tungsten.
****No turning it into anything water-soluble, either.

*Having my Immortal choose the Time portfolio is fine, even if the DM knows I'm just picking it to have Time Stop as a Spell-Like Ability.
*Yes, I can research my own spells.
**The DM is not sure why I would research a first-level spell called Create Silly Hats, but okay.
*If, at any point, it becomes standard practice for my character to cast Time Stop followed by Chained Create Silly Hats whenever he is bored from the current conversation, he is going to be punished by his patron.
**The same goes for casting Prestidigitation to paint the current room and its occupants pink.

[toapat]

***Even if it would be funny, no polymorphing the paladin's armor into solid tungsten.

How is transmuting the armor into True Adamantine bad?

I could see that if you said Tungesten Carbide, but pure tungesten?

[Erik Vale]

I've a feeling weight, and the fact that it's solid so he can't move in it, would be the problem.

[toapat]

I've a feeling weight, and the fact that it's solid so he can't move in it, would be the problem.

Ive never gotten the impression that fullplate would fuse on use of PaO.

although double weight would be a pain in the ass

[Socksy]

From an actual game that I'm playing with Socksy:

* If my plan boils down to "1) Air vents 2) C4", it's vetoed.
** C4 is never appropriate, but doubly so in the densely populated urban areas.
*** My superhero name is "Jackal", not "Black scottish cyclops", so C4 exploding under my feet will most likely kill me.
***** I don't get any exp for collateral damage.
****** Worst. Superhero. Ever.


From the same game:
* Yes, my half-fey can believe it's only acceptable to kill creatures for food or political reasons.
** No, she cannot retroactively justify murdering someone by eating the body.

[GPuzzle]

*If my plan boils down to "a pressure cooker and some beans", I deserve the masterwork caltrops thrown at me.
**If my Bard carries a drumset with him wherever he goes so he can use it for the rimshots both him and I make in OOC and IC, rocks fall, Bard dies.

*"Dice fall, everyone rocks" is not a good description of that fight where we got 7 random crits, and a guaranteed one from our Cleric.

[Arkhosia]

*No playing a scientist Ranger
**Especially if they have an interest in lycanthropy
***Not even if the campaign enemiesare werewolves and a PC is one
****THEY DO NOT BOUCE UP AND DOWN GIDDILY EHEN TRANSCORMATION TO LYCATHROPE HAPPENS, EXCITED AT EXPERIMENTS!!

[Alex12]

*No playing a scientist Ranger
**Especially if they have an interest in lycanthropy
***Not even if the campaign enemiesare werewolves and a PC is one
****THEY DO NOT BOUCE UP AND DOWN GIDDILY EHEN TRANSCORMATION TO LYCATHROPE HAPPENS, EXCITED AT EXPERIMENTS!!

*****In fact, no scientist characters ever.
******especially no scientist characters who get excited about things others are scared of because experiments.

[Rater202]

*If, when Playing Exalted second edition, my character, a homicidally insane, sociopathic, treacherous, cannibalistic, cowardly, loyalist, Adorrani urged, Find Caste Green Sun Princess who literally hero worshiped her caste and favored Yozi, who for those of you who don't now are the sentient cosmic Principal of being an antagonistic, cheating, lying, cowardly, treacherous jack*** and an insane cosmic principal who murders what she hates and tortures what she loves respectively, and who's total virtues are less than the lowest virtue of the next least virtuous PC, is the single most moral character in the circle, then gosh dern it we're doing it wrong.
**If The Ebon Dragon is disgusted with how objectively evil the PCs are, we're doing it wrong
***If the Yozi's literally order my PC, literally the last warlock in the campaign still loyal to them, to pursue the path of the heretic and become a Titan in my own right so that there will be an agent of the Yozis powerful enough to oppose the other PCs should they choose to threaten the Reclamation, we're doing it wrong.
****If My characters Devil Tiger Charm set literally revolves around Cannibalism, and said PC literally has every Pre Cosmic Principal non general charm in both Addoran's and The Ebon Dragons Charm Trees, including excellencies and sorcerous enlightenments, and shes still the least evil character in the circle, we're doing it wrong.
*****If the Soulsteel Caste Apostate Alchemical goes Patropolis and Builds his City Self in my Spirit World, creating Several Homebrew Charms based on powering himself with my Essence and litterally becoming my first Akuma, and all of this makes him objectively less evil, we're doing it wrong
******If, after using a omebrewed Expansion to gain the ability to create portals between my spirit wrold and creation at any point I can see,and teaching this Charm to My Apostate Akuma fellow PC, allowing him to use his municipal scale weapon charms in personal scale combat, and then counting him, me, and all 7 of my Third Circle Souls, and all of there second circle souls as a single entity, we've still got less kills than the Fire Aspect Dragonblood in the circle, then we're doing it wrong.

And For Vampire, the Masquerade
*The Prince would like to know who's bright idea it was to give the massive vile of the still potent blood of Caine to the physically and mentally 10 year old Malkavian.
**If my character is a physically and mentally ten year old Malkavian, and I'm given the still potent blood of Caine, I'm not to use it to rapidly decend to Generation 2
***Upon reaching Generation 2 and using my Plot Device level disciplines to essentially cheat my coterie mates to genration 3, we are not alowed to blow the masquerade sky high, avert Gehena, wipe out the Technocrocy, and earn the loyalty of all the Werewolves by flat out killing the Wyrm and all of it's allied Spirits.
****That's it, if you're going to treat the Game Like Exalted, we're gonna play Exalted(See above for how that turned out)

And yes, this is all stuff that we did in games.

It was fun as all hell.

[Sith_Happens]

And yes, this is all stuff that we did in games.

http://www.theastronauts.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/a_winner_is_you.jpg

[Rater202]

Glad ya liked em.

A self imposed one: When Freeform Roleplaying, I'm not allowed to use my PC from AdventureQuest as a persona, simply because when a character frequently plays poker with the greater deity of Destruction and Uncreation, and the High Communicant the settings Creator goddess(roughly the Equivalent of the Pope), he' s simply far to powerful to interact with Characters out of his host setting. Though if the most recent storyline thing is anything to go by, Poker Night is gonna be very Awkward next time.

A Couple from two games here on the Forum.
*If My anime style Martial artist is going to use his Kamehameha knock off to add additional propulsion to the party's flying craft, he is to make sure there's not a wall behind him first
**Telling the Police officer the truth in Broad Strokes does not count as gaining a cover.
***If my character is ten years old and has powers that run on love, the fact that every gadget he's built is some for of weapon should probably be brought up with his therapist.
****Just because my character has PTSD is no excuse for him to be a jerk
*****I don't care if he is temporally displaced by over a thousand years, improvements in food technology aren't big enough to justify a state of euphoria, and even if they were, a burger isn't what would cause it.

[Sith_Happens]

***If my character is ten years old and has powers that run on love, the fact that every gadget he's built is some for of weapon should probably be brought up with his therapist.

Black Mage (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/11/27/8-bit-chronicles-3-of-3/) would like a word with you.

[boomwolf]

*No playing a scientist Ranger
**Especially if they have an interest in lycanthropy
***Not even if the campaign enemiesare werewolves and a PC is one
****THEY DO NOT BOUCE UP AND DOWN GIDDILY EHEN TRANSCORMATION TO LYCATHROPE HAPPENS, EXCITED AT EXPERIMENTS!!

I'm afraid I didn't quite catch the reference. it sounds familiar, but not sure form where.


Anyway, some more:
*I will not play a gnoll with eating disorders.
**Especially when said disorder is tendency to try and nibble his own limbs when nervous.
***This is not an acceptable substitute to actually eating.
****And NOT a valid strategy against skin-borrowed scarab.

[Red Fel]

*****I don't care if he is temporally displaced by over a thousand years, improvements in food technology aren't big enough to justify a state of euphoria, and even if they were, a burger isn't what would cause it.

Inspector Clouseau would like a word with you (http://youtu.be/BGuZyelUTc4?t=2m15s).

[DigoDragon]

Black Mage (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/11/27/8-bit-chronicles-3-of-3/) would like a word with you.

Inspector Clouseau would like a word with you (http://youtu.be/BGuZyelUTc4?t=2m15s).

* I am no longer allowed to devise a CR12 lethal ticket system for NPCs who are looking to speak with me.

[Graypairofsocks]

* No attempting to finance dungeon crawls by inventing a magical artefact which will record everything I see and transmit it to some sort of large screen in a nearby major city, where I charge admittance fees to view our exploits
** I am particularly forbidden from filming fellow party members as they sleep and charging extra to view this
*** I am forbidden even more from asking fellow party members to 'shake what your mama gave you' in front of me.
**** Most of all, I am forbidden from using time when we're not fighting for paid advertisements (me holding up the product in question and saying why I use it)

Sounds like a great idea for a campaign.

Did you actually do it?


******collateral damage man is banned, and hereafter retconed out of existence

If there is a story behind this could you tell it?

[Rater202]

Black Mage (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/11/27/8-bit-chronicles-3-of-3/) would like a word with you.
Wrong kind of love powered abillity. This character belongs to a race capable of using the love they feal to protect temselves and those they call freind. Or in general terms, he uses his own love as a forcefield, not sombody elses love as a death laser

Inspector Clouseau would like a word with you (http://youtu.be/BGuZyelUTc4?t=2m15s).
Not enough Euphoria for this characters reaction

3.5
*I am not the very model of a modern major general.
**Nor am I a Pirate King.
***And I most certainly don't sneak with Catlike tread.
****The Paladin order our party has allied with really don't appreciate me telling them to go bravely and die.
*****If I'm going to play a bard, then my repertoire of songs has to be drawn from more than one Gilbert and Sullivan operetta.
******That's it, I'm not allowed to play bards anymore.

Exalted
*If My Devil Tiger is based entirly around the concepts of Honesty, Kindness, Genorisity, Laughter, Loyalty, and Freindshiip, has Third Circle Devas based on Characters from MLP:FiM, altered his Anima to be rainbow Light rather than Green Fire, and has recently started training in Sonic Rainboom Style(Found on this forum, credit to Lix Lorne) and the other party memebers still don't get the referance, then the entire party needs to turn in their brony cards
**The Storyteller thinks it's a huge coicidence that I crafted a Deva based on Princess Celestia to embody my characters virtues, and just so happened to finish it just as our circle found out that The Unconquered Sun has been slain and needs a spirit to take his panoply lest The Ebon Dragon conquer the world(Actually, it was a coincidence. I had no idea we were doing Return of the Scarlet Empress)
***I can't use the Spirit Charms of my Devas unless I take the time to craft a General Primordial Charm to permit this, and I can't use the panoply charms that Heavenly Princess of Virtue inherited from Sol Invictus with that charm period.
****I can't craft Primordial Charms using the Suns Themes unless I alter my excellency to do include those themes, or somehow craft a charm to expand my Excellency to do the same.

Dungeons: The Dragoning
*Even if the rules allow it, I can't have a standard "nice guy" Paladin who just so happens to Worship one of the Foru Gods of Chaos.
**No, not even under the Logic that the Greatest Evils to walk the Galaxy must be worth opponents to kill in Khorne's name
***a Paladin of Slaneeshe is right out, even if shle is one of the two Deities that Doesn't require you to be an ass at devotion 10.
****Look, the fact that I want to play a paladin who isn't the Steotypical Knight Templar asshat who slays anything that ight be evil is admirable, but why can't I just use Pelor like everyone else?

[toapat]

but why can't I just use Pelor like everyone else?

because Pelor is the Demon Prince of Oppression. unlike Sunny, god of Sunshine, Rainbows, and Vagueness.

Pazuzu is a better god for a paladin because at least Pazuzu is a nice guy. Even if he does everything for the wrong reasons.



*Not allowed to found a Paladin order in service to Pazuzu "because he recognizes the value in preventing genocide in relation to his business"
**Even if this is wholly in character for my paladin and Pazuzu

[Rater202]

because Pelor is the Demon Prince of Oppression. unlike Sunny, god of Sunshine, Rainbows, and Vagueness.

Pazuzu is a better god for a paladin because at least Pazuzu is a nice guy. Even if he does everything for the wrong reasons.
Oh no, I'm being completly serious

Dungeons: The Dragoning (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TabletopGame/DungeonsTheDragoning). a cracktastic fusion of D&D, Exalted, Scion, both worlds of Darkness, Warhammer Fantasy, Warhmamer 40k, and a bout a dozen other games.

By the Alignment rules given, only Pelor and Slaneeshe don't require you to be an ass**** if you have a devotion of 10. Coupled with the fact that Deities are devided on a Law/chaos basis and all deities of each Pantheon having Good and Evil followers, and there is literally nothing stopping you from having a Paladin who just so happens to worship one of the Ruinous Powers. All of them work for the Sterotypical Smite first questions never Paladin, but Slaneeshe works best for the less common but more archetypical faithful niceguy paladin.

*If my character is a 12 year old human Atlantean magic user, I'd better have a good reason for being best friends with the fifty year old Ork Daemonhost Barbarian and the Kobald Promethean Techpriest.
**If five different Gods are afraid of us before we've even left our home Crystal Sphere, then we're either doing it wrong or doing it exactly right.
***The Dragonborn Chosen of Bahamut Paladin really dosn't fit in our party, considering that we're two Chaos worshipers, and an Omnisiah worshiper.(Interesting, a Bahamut worshiper with Devotion ten is required to b a Miko or make alignment checks to avaoid degeneration)

[toapat]

Oh no, I'm being completly serious

I get that, And in both editions of DnD where Pelor appears hes a Demon Prince. in Third its buried across several books, where as in 2nd he doesnt have the front of a church.

heres what i mean (http://community.wizards.com/forum/previous-editions-general/threads/1115741)

[Rater202]

I get that, And in both editions of DnD where Pelor appears hes a Demon Prince. in Third its buried across several books, where as in 2nd he doesnt have the front of a church.

heres what i mean (http://community.wizards.com/forum/previous-editions-general/threads/1115741)

Yeah, i call Bs on that. It's all coincidence.

Show me proof of his Evil in Second Ed and we'll talk.

also, even if he's evil in D&D, he's not in D:TD

He's also listed as a good god in fourth ed.

*I am not allowed to Slander the name of a Good Alined God by claiming that he's a Demon Prince, at least not without sufficient noncircumstantial evidence of this ridiculous claim.

[vasharanpaladin]

also, even if he's evil in D&D, he's not in D:TD


Point of order: "Lawful" is not the same as "Good." Pelor is the Unconquered Sun in D:tD. Read up on the fluff surrounding that one and revise your argument accordingly.



*I am not allowed to Slander the name of a Good Alined God by claiming that he's a Demon Prince, at least not without sufficient noncircumstantial evidence of this ridiculous claim.

**The fact that he has a relic that casts cure X wounds on someone you struck with an attack is sufficient evidence~

[Arkhosia]

I'm afraid I didn't quite catch the reference. it sounds familiar, but not sure form where.


Anyway, some more:
*I will not play a gnoll with eating disorders.
**Especially when said disorder is tendency to try and nibble his own limbs when nervous.
***This is not an acceptable substitute to actually eating.
****And NOT a valid strategy against skin-borrowed scarab.

Hanji Zoë from Attack on Titan/Shingeki No Kyojin

*The correct response to the guard requesting to search you is not to toss alchemical fire down to create a smokescreen to run away from him.
**In fact, you just got set on fire
***your excuse to the party being "He wanted to search us because he was going to take the [magguffin] that we're delivering away for his own!" will not work

[unseenmage]

Hanji Zoë from Attack on Titan/Shingeki No Kyojin

*The correct response to the guard requesting to search you is not to toss alchemical fire down to create a smokescreen to run away from him.
**In fact, you just got set on fire
***your excuse to the party being "He wanted to search us because he was going to take the [magguffin] that we're delivering away for his own!" will not work

**** Adding the phrase, "... my precious!", to the end of that argument will only make it worse.
***** Acting out the part IRL while handing the GM a note might get you lynched.

[Hazzardevil]

* My hedonistic (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/traits/drawbacks/hedonistic) female character is not allowed to make the other hedonist party member believe we will have sex.
* Even if she only wanted a hug.
*Even if I wanted a hug
*Hugs do not count as an hour of pleasure, even if they last an hour.

[Socksy]

* Not to make anagrams out of the gods' names.
** Not to make anagrams out of the NPCs' names.
*** Not to make anagrams out of other PCs' names
**** Certainly not to make anagrams out of the DM's name
***** No more anagrams!

[Mrc.]

*My clerics holy symbol is not a collage of pasta shapes and glitter.
*The groups fighter should not have a drug addiction "simply to pass the time during social encounters"
**In fact, social encounters are the worst time to show a drug addiction!
*The groups wizard is not to tattoo any of his high-level spells on his own body so that, should he be without his spellbook he can still cast spells.
**I'm not even sure if that works!
*Due to budget cuts, both the DM and the guy who's house we game at are exempt from paying for pizza.
**The DM still maintains the right to choose what pizza we have.

[GPuzzle]

* Not to make anagrams out of the gods' names.
** Not to make anagrams out of the NPCs' names.
*** Not to make anagrams out of other PCs' names
**** Certainly not to make anagrams out of the DM's name
***** No more anagrams!
****** And no more msanarga!

[Socksy]

* My Dread Lich may know Symbol of Death.
** She may not inscribe her body with it several dozen times over the course of a few days.
*** Especially if she is the only one in the party with over 150 HP.

[Alex12]

*The groups wizard is not to tattoo any of his high-level spells on his own body so that, should he be without his spellbook he can still cast spells.
**I'm not even sure if that works!

Totally works. There's actually rules for it in Complete Arcane, on page 187. It's more expensive, more time-consuming, and requires a Craft(tattoo artist check) which can be done by someone else, but it's completely legal to cover yourself with tattoos of spells to prepare.

[Spore]

* Even if this is D&D and "righteous fury" is a phrase commonly heard with Paladins, torturing undead is not good.
** I don't care that "eye for an eye" is another such phrase.
*** "In the name of the sun king" is not an appropriate rebuttal.
**** You are now fallen. You may change your levels as blackguard. NOT OF PELOR!

[GPuzzle]

* Even if this is D&D and "righteous fury" is a phrase commonly heard with Paladins, torturing undead is not good.
** I don't care that "eye for an eye" is another such phrase.
*** "In the name of the sun king" is not an appropriate rebuttal.
**** "Good for the good god!" is not an appropriate rebuttal, too.
***** "Gold for the gold god!" is out of question, and we're not mentioning Poland's inability to go to space AGAIN.

[toapat]

Yeah, i call Bs on that. It's all coincidence.

Show me proof of his Evil in Second Ed and we'll talk.

scroll down in the topic, someone found the original mailer with Pelor in it

That also doesnt stop the devs of a spoof refference system from being less then fully informed

[D_Lord]

* I am no longer allowed to devise a CR12 lethal ticket system for NPCs who are looking to speak with me.

If it is the First Inspector Clouseau, not this new lamer person your going to need a lot more than CR12 to deal with him. Not to say he hurts you that much himself but he does tend to have dead bodies around him.

[vasharanpaladin]

scroll down in the topic, someone found the original mailer with Pelor in it

That also doesnt stop the devs of a spoof refference system from being less then fully informed

Also, one should note that the conflation of "light" with "good" is painfully stupid, especially when one considers that any deity with "sun" in his portfolio is ultimately running a protection racket.

[Alex12]

Also, one should note that the conflation of "light" with "good" is painfully stupid, especially when one considers that any deity with "sun" in his portfolio is ultimately running a protection racket.

How so, exactly?

[Ksheep]

How so, exactly?

"That's a nice bit of skin you've got there. It would be a shame if something were to… happen to it. You see, things… burn. It would be a shame if your skin… burned… wouldn't it? I also hear you're a fan of not getting cancer, right? Well, if you slip the Church of Pelor a few gold and they might be able to keep that Melanoma at bay for a while. What's that, you'd rather stay inside all day? Well, I hope you don't mind if me and my pals keep you from getting any Vitamin D…"

[ChaosArchon]

Or you, if you don't worship me I'll just remove the Sun from the equation and watch you all freeze to death.

[DigoDragon]

If it is the First Inspector Clouseau, not this new lamer person your going to need a lot more than CR12 to deal with him. Not to say he hurts you that much himself but he does tend to have dead bodies around him.

And when he stands in front of my ticket system, he still will have dead bodies around him. XD


The GM is no longer allowed to get upset when he makes a mockery of his own campaign and the PCs bail on the campaign to play Toon because they want 'A Serious Setting'.

[Rater202]

These haven't happened to me, but I'd think they'd be hilarious

*In a campaign permitting monster PCs, nobody wants to know how many offspring my dragon has conceived, nor how many different species the mothers were.
**The high number of half-silver dragons, all born of different mothers,in the town is not proof that My character has already been there.
***Even if it is basically the Vegas of the setting.

[Sith_Happens]

**The fact that he has a relic that casts cure X wounds on someone you struck with an attack is sufficient evidence~

Are you maligning the honorable and time-tested Healing Shiv?:smallconfused:


Also, one should note that the conflation of "light" with "good" is painfully stupid, especially when one considers that any deity with "sun" in his portfolio is ultimately running a protection racket.

"Look, all I'm sayin' is, it's no skin off our teeth if next harvest season's a little colder than usual, you know what I mean?"

[toapat]

Or you, if you don't worship me I'll just remove the Sun from the equation and watch you all freeze to death.

well, considering that the sun is either a breach in physics immune to other magic or an aberration with divine ranks, none of the sun gods could do that

[ChaosArchon]

well, considering that the sun is either a breach in physics immune to other magic or an aberration with divine ranks, none of the sun gods could do that
I thought the Sun gods were literally the sun in whatever setting they were the sun god of... was I wrong in this because the settings I've played in normally only have one Sun god come up.

Also I suddenly want to create a character whose whole goal is to plane shift the Sun somewhere else after they got sunburned

*No I cannot do that
**no not even then

[Erik Vale]

I thought the Sun gods were literally the sun in whatever setting they were the sun god of... was I wrong in this because the settings I've played in normally only have one Sun god come up.

Also I suddenly want to create a character whose whole goal is to plane shift the Sun somewhere else after they got sunburned

*No I cannot do that
**no not even then

Nah, just time hop it. That'd release all the planets/etc from their orbit, then they'd rapidly fly away from the sun, to screw someone else over, some-place else, while the sun just sits there going 'What the hell? Why are you going? Don't leave me!'

[Socksy]

* Invisibe Solid Fog is smart. Invisible Raise Dead is just silly.

[Afool]

* Invisibe Solid Fog is smart. Invisible Raise Dead is just silly.

Depends on what you can talk your GM into. Of course, I know that it doesn't work like that RAW or RAI, but if you can persuade your GM or talk them into letting you research a different one.....

*No dying just to take advantage of the new permanent invisibility rule.

[Socksy]

*No dying just to take advantage of the new permanent invisibility rule.

Was more thinking "It appears someone has left your corpse lying about in your square at the start of each turn" :p

[Graypairofsocks]

* Invisibe Solid Fog is smart. Invisible Raise Dead is just silly.

** Invisible Greater Invisibility is redundant.
*** Invisible Glitterdust is contrandictory.
**** Invisible Darkness doesn't even make sense.
***** Invisible Apocalypse from the Sky is just plain ridiculous.

[Ksheep]

** Invisible Greater Invisibility is redundant.
*** Invisible Glitterdust is contrandictory.
**** Invisible Darkness doesn't even make sense.
***** Invisible Apocalypse from the Sky is just plain ridiculous.

****** How exactly do you expect Invisible Genesis to work?
******* Invisible Disguise Self is kinda counter-productive
******** Invisible Polymorph Any Object cannot be used as a substitute for a Permanenced Invisibility spell
********* NO INVISIBLE ILLUSIONS OF ANY SORT

[Wookieetank]

** Invisible Greater Invisibility is redundant.
*** Invisible Glitterdust is contrandictory.
**** Invisible Darkness doesn't even make sense.
***** Invisible Apocalypse from the Sky is just plain ridiculous.

*Even if you manage to talk the DM into being able to cast invisible fireballs, not to argue that they do sneak attack damage.
**Doesn't matter that they "Won't see it coming".
***Picking up rogue levels still won't let you deal sneak attack damage with invisible fireballs.
****Look just because your character is blind, doesn't mean you have to make all your spells invisible so the party can "share your pain".

I miss my blind wizard :smallwink:

[DigoDragon]

* NO INVISIBLE ILLUSIONS OF ANY SORT

I've been banned from utilizing invisible Spheres of Annihilation. :x

[Graypairofsocks]

** You cant have an Invisible Sphere of Ultimate Destruction either.

[Lord Raziere]

* what is even the POINT of an invisible sword?
**No Invisible Wish
***or Invisible Explosive Runes, thats just cheating.
****and certainly no Invisible Ligh-OH WAIT. that actually works.

[unseenmage]

** You cant have an Invisible Sphere of Ultimate Destruction either.

*** Absolutely no Invisible epic spells.
**** No, I don't care how many Solars you've called to mitigate the DC.
***** Even if Invisible Origin of Species is hilarious.
****** Also funny, but no that your custom species has permanent See Invisibility isn't gonna fly either.
******* Even if you did design them with wings.

[illyahr]

* what is even the POINT of an invisible sword?

I think you mean WHERE. :smallamused:

**An invisible Brilliant Energy Shortsword wielded by a Rogue will get cheese thrown at you.

[Ksheep]

* I may not begin docking XP whenever the players forget the name of an NPC
** I may not deal damage to the players whenever they speak solely in Memes
*** I may not start draining their stats whenever the players start reciting Monty Python, Dead Alewives, or any other marginally related skit
**** I may not remove a magic item from the players whenever I catch them playing a computer game or texting someone in the middle of a monologue
***** I may not skip a players turn and summon a half-dozen mooks to surround him whenever he takes more than 5 seconds to respond when it's his turn

[dramatic flare]

I thought the Sun gods were literally the sun in whatever setting they were the sun god of... was I wrong in this because the settings I've played in normally only have one Sun god come up.

Also I suddenly want to create a character whose whole goal is to plane shift the Sun somewhere else after they got sunburned

*No I cannot do that
**no not even then

I once DM'd for a character whose back story consisted of, "my mother fell off a cliff, therefore I am going to end the concept of gravity."

[ChaosArchon]

I once DM'd for a character whose back story consisted of, "my mother fell off a cliff, therefore I am going to end the concept of gravity."

I feel like that was either in D&D or Exalted as both suit that goal perfectly well :smallbiggrin:

[Leviting]

I once DM'd for a character whose back story consisted of, "my mother fell off a cliff, therefore I am going to end the concept of gravity."

IRON HEART SURGE!!!

would that work?

[Rater202]

from My first ever Vampire the Requiem Game
*If the Storyteller has the NPCs representing my character's Allies, Contacts, resources, and herd merits arrested, ives me no way to get them out of Jail that won't 1. Distract from the dozen other problems we have.(Possesed Coterie mate, ancient vampire who hated us for no reason, pone coterie mate kidnapped the Pope for reasons I don't undersatnd) and 2. won't get unnecessary police attention to myself thus risking a Masquerade breach, I am to assume that the storyteller doesn't like me.
**that goes double if he then refuses to refund the experience as punishment for not trying to break them out of Jail.
***Tripple if the whole reason they were arrested was my characters Retainer, a ghoul blood addict with a satage three blood bond and having had my character use his domination to implant a compulsion of loyalty into her, turned them in to the police.
****Quadruple if the Prince of the City contacts two of my coterie mates instead of me for dealing with the potential masquerade breach.
*****Quintuple if, at the end of the chronicle, my character is the last PC alive and I manage to, as a Blood Potency 1 vampire less than 6 years undead, kill a methlusa single handedly, I imidiatly get shot in the head and killed by a police officer without getting a chance to notice he was there or doge or anything,

My First D&D4E game.
*If my character, a Infernal Pact Tiefling Warlock, who I with GM's permission made evil and an Asmodeus worshiper, acts evil(non antagonistic to the mostly good party, just evil) with no witnesses, I am to expect him to receive punishment.
**When interacting with an Artifact more evil than my warlocks patron results in the GM pulling me aside and saying that I now had an obsession with said artifact, when before hand my character had been fearful of it, I am to expect to be punished when roleplaying said obssion.
***When said character is being grappled by a monster, while close to death, and I deal more than a third of the monsters total hit points in damage in one turn, I am to expect the monster to bite down and kill the guy who just set it on fire, not drop him.
****I'm not allowed to complain when the PC Cleric of the Raven Queen prays to his Goddess to take my character's soul imediatly, thus preventing him from using the one use auto res he got from converting the PC Paladin of Bahumut to Asmodeus worship.
*****I am not alowwed to complain when the GM ressurects my PC as an NPC working for the Badguys, even though his souls was imdeitly taken by the RavenQueen thus preventing a resurection.
******When I retire my second character, in game because the characters needed somebody to watch the house they were based in, and ou of character because the GM specifically asked me to becuase we needed a "striker" in the party, I'm not alowwe to complain when the other PC's treat my former PC like crap and just casually kill him for no reason.
*******I'm not alowwed to complain when my third PC, the cousin of my first evil PC hunting him down so he can be punished for his crimes, I'm not to complain when the other PCs mock him for his faith or insinuate that he's just like his cousin.

My first ever 3.5 game
*when several PCs are aubducted to one of the good alined outer plains, and my character uses a whish he got from the Deck of Manythings to gain a powerful artifact, with intent in and out of character to trade said artifact for the safe return of the other PCs, I'm not alowed to complain when an other PC uses his wish to cancel my wish.
**Even though the GM had previously forbidden us from doing that very thing.
***When said PC, after being infected with therianthropy(Specifically wererat) is found to somehow be contagious even though inflicted werecreaturs can't spread the sickness and I didn't even have that level in the monster class, I'm not allowed to demand that I be given the extra +5dr/silver under the logic that if I get the bad I should also get the good.
****when a chance encounter with my PC's god results in my character being cured, even though previous divine intervention from this god resulted in merely the alignment changes being removed, I'm not allowed to complain that I just spent 5 levels taking a prestige class that I no longer qualified for.

all three of these games were with the Same GM, and I was only 14-15 at the time, so I kinda think the GM hated me.

However, i do have one more from that First 3.5 game

*If my totally unoptimized Elf Fighter is the only PC to make it from the first session of the campaign to the last, we're doing it wrong

[Erik Vale]

... Yea, sounds like you had d*ckish players/dm.

[Doorhandle]

I feel like that was either in D&D or Exalted as both suit that goal perfectly well :smallbiggrin:

Or mythender. Bonus points because destroying myths is referred to as ending them, because their stories will continue past mere death.

*At no point may any character I play pick up the planet we're standing on and beat his opponents with it.

[Prof.Smythe]

* I am not allowed to play a Sons of Ether mage
** Especially if the first car I 'crafted' explodes so that the only parts remaining are the cup-holders.

[Hyena]

From the same superhero game that I wrote about earlier

* Every time I declare that I shoot my enemy with a gun, I am to specify that it's a dart gun, stun gun or taser gun.
** If I don't do that, I am not to be surprised when my ridiculously huge body count is mentioned.
*** Worst. Superhero. In the world.

Yeah, turns out, I've been killing all my enemies the whole game.

[Sgt. Cookie]

So, you played 1930s Batman?

[Rater202]

*if my infernal manages to recreate the Jade prison and captures 13 abyssal exaltations and 7 solar exaltations, I'm not allowed to smelt the 20 ghosts I created into soulsteal, aloy it with Orichalcum, and forge it into a Daiklaive, and cannibalize the 20 solaroid exaltations to power it up into a rating N/A artifact that makes the Daystar look like a squirt gun.
**Even if I was permitted to craft such a mighty artifact and attune to it, it wouldn't let me summon the moon, which is not the well of souls and all five elemental poles made manifest, and most certainly isn't shaped like a heart.
***This Artifact will not allow me to rewrite Creation, Yu Shan, Malfeas, the Underworld, Autocthonia, and the world Jotun of the other titans in my own image
****Complete control of Light and Darkness makes sense, as does life and eath and generally increasing the power and utility of cursory, but where does opening or sealing any lock, including metaphorical ones com in?
*****I'm not allowed to use Kingdom Hearts ans an inspiration for artifacts or character concepts, at least until third Edition comes out with it's Evocation Rules.
******I don't care if the X-Blade knock off was intended to be crafted as part of a devil tiger's legend, which won't be a thing in 3E.

Unrelated
*I'm not allowed to point out that Adoran's excellency says that her Charms can be used to build a panoply, yet none of her none excellency charms have anything to do with panoplies

[Hyena]

So, you played 1930s Batman?
Accidental Batman is pretty much the best phrase in the world.

[inuyasha]

*I may no longer summon Tiamat in the middle of the viking town
**Not even if I have a 1 use item that lets me do it
***Especially if we're not an evil party

[Rater202]

Bleach D20

*In a party consisting of 1 Vizard, 1 Substitute Shinigami(Quincy) one Arrancar(Adjucha level) one Esser(Bount/hollow hybrid), one pureblooded hollow(Vastolorde Level) and one Fullbringer, all on the run from soul society, it's counter productive to out Goal of hiding if our first response to Danger is "Bankai/Ressurection/Vollstandig"
**When the Vasto Lorde takes his first level in the Arrancar prestige class, the adjucha is not allowed to comlain that his Hollow10/Arrancar 5/Arch Arrancar1 is weaker than the Vasto Lorde's Hollow15/Arrancar 1
***When surrouded by an army of horrid monstrosities created by hollowfying thousands of artificial souls, standing and fighting isn't an option.
****No, a bunch of Cero, Arrows, and level 90+Hado aren't going to reduce the numbers to a manageable level
*****The Vasto Lorde, Adjucha, and Bount are not allowed to treat it like a buffet.

[DigoDragon]

* There is no such thing as 'Medicinal Evidence'.
** My business card slogan is no longer 'Black Holes can do anything!'
*** No longer allowed to substitute a broom for missing PCs.
**** Also not allowed to utilize voodoo brooms.
***** My CSI evidence retrieval kit cannot double as a spice rack.
****** No longer allowed to use a ouija board as an improvised melee weapon.
******* I'm no longer allowed to order boiling oil and a kangaroo during an interrogation.
******** Banned from using Sam Donaldson's singing talents in a hostage negotiation.
********* No longer allowed to list '3rd degree drowning' as a cause of death.
********** I will never have a Search Check high enough to find thumbs on a duck.
*********** I shall not buy a camera that frames photo evidence with Hanna Montana's picture.
************ There is no such thing as a mono-molecular vibrating bed.
************* No longer allowed to list Kanga as a suspect in any cattle mutilation case.
************** Dragons have scales, not shingles, and no they do not follow the New Jersey building codes.
*************** No longer allowed to leave a claymore in the urinal.
**************** Banned from rolling a Wolf Bonus upon level up.
***************** Despite how well my theory fits, the NPC is not 1/16th gnome.
****************** No such thing as an 'After the Fact' search warrant.
******************* Also, search warrants are never drawn in crayon.

[Ilorin Lorati]

I'd be surprised if this hadn't been posted before:


* Having your character do things that would nauseate NPCs is fine.
** Doing things that may nauseate the other PCs? Also fine, but realize the RP implications.
*** Things that nauseate the players? Right out.
**** Don't even think about trying to nauseate the DM.
***** Especially if you use their distraction to give yourself an advantage.

[toapat]

* Dragons have scales, not shingles, and no they do not follow the New Jersey building codes.

**Not to point out that Shingles are against the NJ building code.
***No, just because the component asphalt extrusions are called those does not mean that using them in the manner implied is to code. They have to be welded to the lower layers.

[Ksheep]

* It is perfectly acceptable to walk my dog in the city in the middle of the night
** It is less acceptable to walk my hellhound in the city in the middle of the night
*** Walking my Cerberus in the city in the middle of the night is strictly forbidden
**** Especially if I do so without a leash
***** No, I can't just "let him out" unsupervised and assume that he won't leave the yard area of the inn

[janusmaxwell]

* There is no such thing as 'Medicinal Evidence'.
** My business card slogan is no longer 'Black Holes can do anything!'
*** No longer allowed to substitute a broom for missing PCs.
**** Also not allowed to utilize voodoo brooms.
***** My CSI evidence retrieval kit cannot double as a spice rack.
****** No longer allowed to use a ouija board as an improvised melee weapon.
******* I'm no longer allowed to order boiling oil and a kangaroo during an interrogation.
******** Banned from using Sam Donaldson's singing talents in a hostage negotiation.
********* No longer allowed to list '3rd degree drowning' as a cause of death.
********** I will never have a Search Check high enough to find thumbs on a duck.
*********** I shall not buy a camera that frames photo evidence with Hanna Montana's picture.
************ There is no such thing as a mono-molecular vibrating bed.
************* No longer allowed to list Kanga as a suspect in any cattle mutilation case.
************** Dragons have scales, not shingles, and no they do not follow the New Jersey building codes.
*************** No longer allowed to leave a claymore in the urinal.
**************** Banned from rolling a Wolf Bonus upon level up.
***************** Despite how well my theory fits, the NPC is not 1/16th gnome.
****************** No such thing as an 'After the Fact' search warrant.
******************* Also, search warrants are never drawn in crayon.

Oh god, claymore in a Urinal, that's just WRONG!

[Ksheep]

Oh god, claymore in a Urinal, that's just WRONG!

And I just realized he meant Claymore as in the antipersonnel mine, not the sword. I was trying to figure out how and/or why you'd put that sword in a urinal…

[Leviting]

And I just realized he meant Claymore as in the antipersonnel mine, not the sword. I was trying to figure out how and/or why you'd put that sword in a urinal…

It's not like it's that much worse...

[ChaosArchon]

It's not like it's that much worse...

Well one just means you'll have a rusted and smelly sword, the other will result in some poor sap losing alot more than he planned when he enters the stall.

[Erik Vale]

Yea, but he might not even know that.

[DigoDragon]

***No, just because the component asphalt extrusions are called those does not mean that using them in the manner implied is to code. They have to be welded to the lower layers.

**** Not allowed to attempt building a roof with dragon scales.
***** Nor allowed to weld scales back onto a dragon.
****** I am hereby banned from using welding tools.

[toapat]

**** Not allowed to attempt building a roof with dragon scales.
***** Nor allowed to weld scales back onto a dragon.
****** I am hereby banned from using welding tools.

*******Expecially if i am substituting a flamethrower for either a tig welder or a blowtorch
********Plasma Cannons as well

[spineyrequiem]

* The mere fact that, in 800 years, the human race will contain only a negligible portion of my DNA does not mean I can put live grenades in time capsules with the pins attached to the lid.

* Apparently baiting a massive, explosive trap with a weeping child trapped under rubble, relying on the enemy's chivalric instincts to come and save them, makes us 'the bad guys'.

* No using my extensive out-of-character knowledge on home-made weapons and explosives (purely academic, I assure you!) to turn a swarm of unarmed twelve-year olds into an effective fighting force.
** Even if my character totally has the skills and doesn't care if it's 'immoral'.

* When I've demonstrated a worrying ability to devise explosive solutions to all sorts of problems, my answer to facing a tank battalion must be something other than 'issue everyone a crowbar and a frag grenade'.

* The Volunteer Defence Force are there to sell their lives dearly defending their country. Not to carry my loot.
** Especially if I took that loot from their former homes.

* No instituting a coup of the wizarding world by transfiguring a load of nerve gas inside the Ministry of Magic while wearing a full NBC suit.

* My superhero's only power cannot be that all my skin cells emit lethal radiation, including after they drop off
** Especially if I did not buy immunity to said radiation.

* 'Constantly-on-fire Man' is also vetoed.
** Especially if I just plan to use it to reenact a scene from SMBC which unfortunately I can't find at the moment...

* No offering loaded revolvers and notes urging the recipient to do 'the decent thing' to people who try to jump queues.

[Ryu_Bonkosi]

*******Expecially if i am substituting a flamethrower for either a tig welder or a blowtorch
********Plasma Cannons as well

*********While substituting military grade weaponry for welding tools may work to jury-rig something every now and then. Forgoing actually having to buy the tools by solely using the weapons is frowned upon.
**********Especially when what you are making requires precision.

[GPuzzle]

*The Bard|Ardent MC Warlord/War Chanter cannot sing Sabaton over and over again in this war-based campaign.
**Alright, if you want to sing it, you have to play it.
***I should've kept my mouth shut.

[Prince Raven]

Substitute Shinigami(Quincy)

How is that even possible?

[Ryu_Bonkosi]

How is that even possible?

They delve into it in the most recent manga arc.

[Rater202]

How is that even possible?
you take levels in the Substitute Shinigami(Quincy) (http://bleachd20.wikidot.com/substitue-shinigami-quincy) Prestige Class.

They delve into it in the most recent manga arc.

Nah, no. Super Hybrid Berry Man is something different all together.

[Ksheep]

* Control Weather does not involve controlling how a butterfly halfway around the world is flapping it's wings
** I cannot Polymorph myself into a butterfly in order to try to summon a hurricane at the enemy's city
*** There are no rules in the game that deal with Chaos Theory, so stop trying!

[Braininthejar2]

WoD - Kindred of the East.

*even if a demon looks like an idiot, trying to con him to get a "free" power to forge magic items still constitutes "dealing with demons" and will get me killed by the party.
** If the regular questgiver is an elder who causes supernatural phenomena just by being angry, I should not expect to be able to hide my new "power".
*** Testing my new power by forging a replica of "some statuette I found on the Internet" is sure to cause trouble - we all know how the dice behave when the GM rolls them to determine random effects.
**** Once the GM has determined that the statuette will be a cursed item serving as a conduit to contact some creature from hell, proceeding to roll 5 successes to forge it does more than add insult to injury.

[Somensjev]

* as a DM, if my players complain that the encounters are too easy i am not to send my 5 level 9 players against a swarm of 6-10 templated damn crabs (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/fw/20040221a)

[spineyrequiem]

* Even if heat differences, leading to pressure changes, are the main cause of winds, apparently I can't use massive amounts of fire as a substitute for Control Weather.

[Mrc.]

*There is no such monster as "Dire Pizza-crust"
**Nor "Heavily-templated Notepad"
***The players resent their characters being represented by blu-tak, chewing gum and nail clippers
****The DM is to remember to bring all the minis next time

[Rater202]

*In a homebrewed Digimon Game, when the GM has set up a program on his computer to take us to the wiki page for a random Rookie Level digimon to be our characer's partner/digimon form/army leader, and I get Lucemon, I am to try again untill I get something that isn't so OP.
**If on my second try I get Demidevimon, I am to try again untill I get something that's most well known advanced forms aren't jokes.
***If on my third try I get Salamon(virus), I am to try again for something that won't have inapropriate jokes made by less mature gamers
****If on my fourth try I get Impmon, I am to try again for something that we know that champion and ultimate forms of.
*****I'm not allowed to ponder the implications of the suposedly random program giving me four potential Demonlords in a row.
******No one else is allowed to make jokes bout Xross Wars: Brave Young Hunters after the thing finally gives me Dracumon
*******I can not give Dracumon the personality, voice, or mannerisms of Count Von Count
********I'm not allowed to sing Duran Duran's Hungry Like the Wolf when Dracumon becomes Sangloupmon for the first time.
*********Nor can he start talking like 4Kids dub Metaknight when he becomes Matadormon
**********Christopher Lee's Dracula is a perfect inspiration for GranDracumon however.

[Sith_Happens]

* If my character survives an Exterminatus, it's time to retire him.

[GPuzzle]

*If my Genasi Fighter PMC Wizard Winged Horde spammer can hold a line better than any other defender I've ever done, he's banned.
**A Half-Elf Battlemind with Winged Horde as his Dilletante and does nearly the same thing but even more annyoing is also banned.
***No more Defenders.

[DigoDragon]

*There is no such monster as "Dire Pizza-crust"

This takes me back to the Calzone Golem incident. Loved that encounter, beating up the players with a monster made out of a stuffed pizza. And then they argued over toppings after it was defeated. :smallbiggrin:

[GrayGriffin]

* No longer allowed to start shipping characters who haven't met yet.
** Especially no longer allowed to ship characters from completely different games.
*** That giant crossover you are writing is not a sufficient justification.
**** No longer allowed to write a fic with your character being the reincarnation of a canon character's love interest.
***** Even if reincarnation is something totally in-line with that canon.
****** On the other hand, if you're going to have her and her "love interest" get possessed by the spirits of their reincarnations and milk that for all the horror it's worth, go right ahead!

May or may not be based on actual OOC chatter *whistles innocently*

[Sengachi]

*If the DM has spent eight hours making a dungeon, the Summoner and the Wizard are not allowed to simply summon a horde of small air elementals and use them and Message to plot the entire dungeon and all its traps.

[razorfloss]

*If the DM has spent eight hours making a dungeon, the Summoner and the Wizard are not allowed to simply summon a horde of small air elementals and use them and Message to plot the entire dungeon and all its traps.

ok i need to steal this idea next time i play a wizard

[Socratov]

*If the DM has spent eight hours making a dungeon, the Summoner and the Wizard are not allowed to simply summon a horde of small air elementals and use them and Message to plot the entire dungeon and all its traps.

This is a damn great idea...

[DigoDragon]

* That giant crossover you are writing is not a sufficient justification.

I used to have a player who wrote several crossover fanfics from the campaigns I ran.
They were quite silly, but that was the general intention.



ok i need to steal this idea next time i play a wizard

This is a damn great idea...

Mileage varies since elementals don't have trapfinding as a feature and may not notice the well-hidden traps, but it is a great idea to use them as a scouting party anyway. Might trigger something and take a hit for the team anyway.


* Not allowed to cheat the elemental scouting idea by creating The Dungeon of Infinite Pressure Plates. :smallbiggrin:

[Rater202]

*In any game, where my character is a rich and powerful Sorcerer, I am not allowed to have him travel by riding an elephant sized animal while thousands of mortal servants and bound elmentals/demons/what have you march around him singing his praises.
**And I most certainly can't have them do the "Prince Ali" routine from Aladdin.
***not even if I rewrite the lyrics to be about my character

[Laughing Dog]

*No recreating the Department of Abnormal Phenomanae Containment out-of-universe.
**No recreating the Department of Abnormal Phenomanae Containment in-universe.
***In the event the DAPC is recreated, The Player Characters are joining.
*It is okay to use Fire Emblem characters as concepts.
**Unless it's :Meg, The Black Knight, Ike, Resolve&Wrath anyone, The Avatar, Morgan, or any of the Endgame Bosses.
***Fiona is forbidden, but not because she's over-powered.

[unseenmage]

* Any action that needs to be justified with the words, "Because that's what a REAL man would do!", likely won't fly.
** Doubly so when replacing the word 'man' with the word 'alcoholic'.

[Rater202]

Note: Punching a dragon sometimes results in the loss of limbs.

From actual play here on this forum.

[toapat]

* Not allowed to cheat the elemental scouting idea by creating The Dungeon of Infinite Pressure Plates. :smallbiggrin:

**Not to arm every plate with a single casting of Thermonuclear blast
***Not to have secondary pressure plates forming the grouting between the primary plates

[Sith_Happens]

* Any action that needs to be justified with the words, "Because that's what a REAL man would do!", likely won't fly.

http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110701084800/fairytail/images/c/c7/Fairy_Academy_-_Elfman_going_beast.JPG


Note: Punching a dragon sometimes results in the loss of limbs.

For you or the dragon?:smalltongue:

* If asked why I keep making characters with upper-crust English accents, the right answer is not "So I can RP in RP."

[Emperordaniel]

* If I find a handful of diamonds in a chest, I am not allowed to tie them to sticks and turn them into pickaxes or swords.
** If I do, in fact, do so, said pickaxes or swords will not be stronger than ordinary steel ones.
*** They will, in fact, be quite fragile.
**** I am not allowed to play Minecraft while at the table.

[unseenmage]

http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110701084800/fairytail/images/c/c7/Fairy_Academy_-_Elfman_going_beast.JPG

...

Gets it in one. :smallbiggrin:

[Arkhosia]

*My Human Wizard named Mozeltov does not have Alzheimer's.
**No, seriously. We'd have to run a whole separate scene of what's going on in his opinion.
***You know Alzheimer's doesn't cause him to always not know what's happening, right?
****No, he can't have brain damage that causes him to not form memories.
*****GODDAMNIT GABE!

[Prince Raven]

*In any game, where my character is a rich and powerful Sorcerer, I am not allowed to have him travel by riding an elephant sized animal while thousands of mortal servants and bound elmentals/demons/what have you march around him singing his praises.
**And I most certainly can't have them do the "Prince Ali" routine from Aladdin.
***not even if I rewrite the lyrics to be about my character

* My character may not break into Impromptu musical numbers if they aren't a Bard
** My Bard can break into impromptu musical numbers, but it takes up their Bardic Performance rounds
*** My Bard may not take Leadership to get more Bard followers, purely to make the musical numbers "more awesome"
**** "Pathfinder: The Musical" joins "Booty Call of Cthulhu" in the list of game ideas I shall never suggest again.

* Just because I found a path, it does not mean I won Pathfinder
** Even though I killed a dragon in a dungeon, I didn't win Dungeons & Dragons
*** Summoning Cthulhu is how to lose Call of Cthulhu, not win it
**** Despite what I may think, Dark Heresy can and should be played with the lights on

[Rater202]

For you or the dragon?:smalltongue:

remember when I posted about the 10 year old character with the ability to use his love and happiness as a force field? The one who keeps building projectile weapons and really needs to bring that up with his therapist?

He now has a prosthetic leg(Albeit a very cool magic one)

Draw thine own conclusions

*If the Modern D&D setting the Gm created ends with the PC's screwing up and an Aspect of Mephistopheles being summoned to earth, my Bard with levels in a Rock Star based prestige class as the cohort who is the same can not draw our guitars and demand that Mephistopheles face us in a Rock Off for the fate of the world.
**Even if we can, we can't set the terms that he have to go back to Baator and pay the parties rent and utilities for all eternity if he loses.
***The Cleric really doesn't approve of me selling him out like that.
****I do two need that microphone.
*****My Cohort and I did not write the Greatest Song in the world.
******Sasquatch is not my daddy
*******As it turns out, you can kill the metal
********I'm no longer alowed to use Tenacious D as an Inspiration for characters
*********I can not insist that the Werebear Unarmed Sword Sage's animal and hybrid form are Panda based.
**********Jack Black is now off limits period.
***********Even if my second Character is "The Hobo King"

[Socksy]

* The way to get immortality in Mutants and Masterminds involves spending a lot of PP. It does not involve horrifying the GM with a description of what I'll be playing next if my character dies.

[DigoDragon]

Punching a dragon sometimes results in the loss of limbs.

* My BBEG is no longer allowed to throw a couch at the dragon to avoid limb loss.
** Not allowed to RP being unconscious because I had a couch thrown at me during the fight.
*** While unconscious I am not to keep rolling initiative and declaring snoring actions. Especially when then the action is worded differently each round.
**** Banned from making the GM squirt soda out his nose from my antics of RPing being unconscious because I had a couch thrown at me during the fight (Though the GM kinda deserved that for taking me out of the fight in the first round...)



*Not to have secondary pressure plates forming the grouting between the primary plates

** Banned from forcing the PCs to clean the grout in order to proceed through the dungeon.

[Hyena]

* Armor is supposed to protect. If I don't equip my chestpiece, armor bonus will drop.
** Metal chestpiece can stop blaster bolts. Six pack abs can not.
*** Dressing in such way will not add to my seduction checks.
**** This is not what my party meant when they asked me to create a flexible force user.
***** My character is not to be referred as "Darth Fabio".
****** DUDE, PUT YOUR SHIRT ON.

[ChaosArchon]

* Armor is supposed to protect. If I don't equip my chestpiece, armor bonus will drop.
** Metal chestpiece can stop blaster bolts. Six pack abs can not.
*** Dressing in such way will not add to my seduction checks.
**** This is not what my party meant when they asked me to create a flexible force user.
***** My character is not to be referred as "Darth Fabio".
****** DUDE, PUT YOUR SHIRT ON.
so you created grey fullbuster?

[Sith_Happens]

* The way to get immortality in Mutants and Masterminds involves spending a handful of leftover PP. It does not involve horrifying the GM with a description of what I'll be playing next if my character dies.

FTFY, immortality is cheap as long as you don't mind waiting a bit.

[Ksheep]

* When choosing starting equipment, I may not write "Towel" and say it's done
** I cannot use a towel as a weapon
*** Nor can I use it as armor
**** Simply having a towel will not entice everyone I meet to willingly "lend" me any item that I might need
***** I may not make it a Masterwork Towel, with various mood-altering drug compounds built in so that all I need to do is suck on a corner to get a dose of antidepressants

[DigoDragon]

***** I may not make it a Masterwork Towel, with various mood-altering drug compounds built in so that all I need to do is suck on a corner to get a dose of antidepressants

****** Wrapping the towel around my face does not make me invisible.

[Socratov]

* When choosing starting equipment, I may not write "Towel" and say it's done
** I cannot use a towel as a weapon
*** Nor can I use it as armor
**** Simply having a towel will not entice everyone I meet to willingly "lend" me any item that I might need
***** I may not make it a Masterwork Towel, with various mood-altering drug compounds built in so that all I need to do is suck on a corner to get a dose of antidepressants

I think NWoD might be well equipped to play HttG. Damn. Now I want to play it :smallannoyed:

[Socksy]

****** Wrapping the towel around my face does not make me invisible.

******* Neither does taking it off altogether.

[Graypairofsocks]

*In any game, where my character is a rich and powerful Sorcerer, I am not allowed to have him travel by riding an elephant sized animal while thousands of mortal servants and bound elmentals/demons/what have you march around him singing his praises.
**And I most certainly can't have them do the "Prince Ali" routine from Aladdin.
***not even if I rewrite the lyrics to be about my character

**** Not even if my characters name is Ali.
***** Not even if I have a Noble Djinn Cohort.

[spineyrequiem]

* I may not base characters on a gestalt of Genghis Khan and characters from a schoolgirl anime
** This goes double for characters from a harem anime.

* No battle cry is improved by the addition of 'B-baka!' at the end.

* I can't just produce a hammer from nowhere when people make offensive comments

* People will eventually notice that my 'speech in authentic Japanese' is the lyrics to 'Dream Riser'

* I am never again to do my impression of an anime schoolgirl

* The good cop and the bad cop have to be different people.

* The good cop/bad cop routine does not relate to their competence

* The good cop and bad cop do not have to swap roles at half-time
** Nor do the cops and the perp

* The bad cop has to do more than just fail to offer backrubs and cake quite as often as the good cop

* People being tortured don't get tea breaks

[GPuzzle]

* The good cop and the bad cop have to be different people.


This guy disagrees:
http://cache.lego.com/r/www/r/movie/-/media/franchises/the%20lego%20movie/explore/characters/film%20stills/goodcopbadcop_filmstill3.jpg?l.r=165378941

[DigoDragon]

* The good cop and bad cop do not have to swap roles at half-time
** Nor do the cops and the perp

*** Cannot switch to 'Bad cop - Indifferent cop'
**** If you're the only cop in the interrogation room, cannot substitute the desk for bad cop.
***** The desk's interrogation can no longer involve its drawer and the perp's family jewels.

[Hazzardevil]

* I may not say my character is convinced that they are a trans-ethnic otherkin.
** Or has "headmates"
*** In fact, I may not make any characters that are poking fun at people on tumblr.

[GPuzzle]

*When playing Civ V, we are no longer allowed to overdose ourselves in Polandball references.
**Even if Poland wins via Scientific Victory.
***Isn't that an Europa Universalis IV achievement?

[Mrc.]

*If my campaign is best described as "The Yawhg" it is vetoed with immediate effect.
**No stating the Yawhg!

*Having a dark secret you haven't told anyone is acceptable for a characters background.
**It is not acceptable for a players background!
***If there occurs a point in the campaign where each player is trying to out morally-gray the other players because their character is "so dark and edgy" the DM is entitled to slap all players to hopefully instill some sense.

[TeChameleon]

*Having a dark secret you haven't told anyone is acceptable for a characters background.
**It is not acceptable for a players background!
***If there occurs a point in the campaign where each player is trying to out morally-gray the other players because their character is "so dark and edgy" the DM is entitled to slap all players to hopefully instill some sense.
**** If the slapping doesn't work, the players are not allowed to be surprised when the BBEG reacts with stark horror to the party's eventual arrival, falling to their knees (or equivalents} and grovelling for mercy from 'the bane of all, scourges of all that live, hatred of the undying, uncaring destroyers of both light and dark'.

* I am no longer allowed to somehow translate a life-long policy of setting everything that annoys me on fire into a massive fortune made in the restaurant business, worldwide fame for creating a post-scarcity earthly utopia, and a global technological revolution.
** If I violate the above rule, I am no longer allowed to use the enormous resources now at my disposal almost exclusively for the discovery of new and improved ways of setting the things that annoy me on fire.
*** Okay, fine, I did, but burning the fire elemental mini-boss to death was just wrong.

[Rater202]

*Even if the rules alow it, I can't create a character whose only superpower is permanently stealing the powers, but not weaknesses, of other supers, leaving himself with their powers while they keep whaever weaknesses they had.
**I can not have this character be an amoral sociopath whose motivation is stealing the superpowers of others, and works with the goodguys becuase individual heros tend to have rougs galleries with variety and teams of them get stacked by all of them plus villains that only target the team.
***Especially if he has no plan for what to do with the powers beyond having them.
****I can't name him "Parasyte"
*****Or "Glutton"
******Giving hm the flaw "Addiction: Power Stealing" does not make it okay to use him
*******Okay, fine, but absolutely no singing any variation on the Song "Feed Me(Git it)" while in battle.
********Having absorbed Alex Mercer style biomass alteration, From a Single Cell, complete immortality, pyrokinnessis, Complete plant control, animal themed shapeshifting, freezing breath, rock skin, bone spikes, radiation immunity, self perpetual motion(Can keep going indefinitely without food, water, air or sleep) and teleportation, I'm not alowed to redub my character "Y'all ain't gonna beat me"

[razorfloss]

list the build for this guy please

[Rater202]

list the build for this guy please

I'm sorry, but this was from a while ago. I don't even remember the system, much less the build

[Drrakerr]

When playing anything other than a paladin, I am not allowed to talk to paladins.
*Not allowed to talk to paladins. Ever.

[Hyena]

***If there occurs a point in the campaign where each player is trying to out morally-gray the other players because their character is "so dark and edgy" the DM is entitled to slap all players to hopefully instill some sense.
Happened to me. A lot.

[DrBurr]

I may have mentioned this before I dont think I have in one of these threads though

But in the off chance I'm playing, I'm not allowed to be in charge of the rebellion and I'm not allowed to own maps because inevitably one will lead to the other and I'll make a subplot into a campaign that lasts all summer.

[Socksy]

* I may not say my character is convinced that they are a trans-ethnic otherkin.
** Or has "headmates"
*** In fact, I may not make any characters that are poking fun at people on tumblr.

You're not trans-ethnic! You're just a whitey appropriating PoC culture/PoC suffering from internalised racism and we need to liberate you!

**** Most certainly cannot make a character who pokes fun at people on tumblr and then act like it's a completely serious and reasonable character.
***** Or, while DMing, an entire species.
****** Fairies do not use the fae/faer/faeself pronouns!

[GPuzzle]

You're not trans-ethnic! You're just a whitey appropriating PoC culture/PoC suffering from internalised racism and we need to liberate you!

**** Most certainly cannot make a character who pokes fun at people on tumblr and then act like it's a completely serious and reasonable character.
***** Or, while DMing, an entire species.
****** Fairies do not use the fae/faer/faeself pronouns!
****** Elves aren't "openly fey".
******* There aren't the three types of bisexuality: Freddy Mercury bisexuality, Tumblr girl bisexuality and Half-Elven bisexuality.
********THAT'S NOT WHAT THE QUEEN SONG "INNUENDO" MEANS!

[Alex12]

****** Elves aren't "openly fey".

I'm using this line at some point.

[Mandark]

*If the DM hates MLP, it is probably a bad idea to convince the other party members to create characters based off of the Mane Six.
**It is an even worse idea to have my character research a 'Prismatic Beam' spell to blast enemies with.
***Especially if said spell was designed to be cast cooperatively.
****If the DM is being especially inattentive as to the reference, I should not thereafter develop a penchant for delivering speeches about the importance of camaraderie.
*****When the campaign reaches its resolution, not allowed to thereafter compose a Sending to Princess Celestia.
******Causing the DM to sit in stunned silence for a full minute and then leave the room should not be treated as a personal victory. For god's sake, man, you've just crushed another human being's soul.

*though basing the entire party off of other ponys, while funny is still mean.
**having EVERYONE take a level in tattooed monk is just going to give the joke away sooner

[Rater202]

*though basing the entire party off of other ponys, while funny is still mean.
**having EVERYONE take a level in tattooed monk is just going to give the joke away sooner

*Relatedly, If Im playing an Exalted Game and made an MLP themed Devil Tiger, I'm not allowed to get pissed if I've Recreated the MAne 6, all three Non Twilight Princess, and Spike as Devas and my group which Contains three other bronies still hasn't gotten it.

I think I've mentioned this before, but still

[DigoDragon]

* Elves aren't "openly fey".

Hee, that's a good pun.


* If participating in an investigation-heavy campaign, you are on longer allowed to wait until 3rd level to start assigning points into your Investigation skills.
** Doubly so if you're playing as an agent of the FBI.

[GPuzzle]

*The PCs cannot be a group of Knights called "Knights of Sidonia".
**They cannot be called "Knights of Cydonia" either.

[Somensjev]

**They cannot be called "Knights of Cydonia" either.

:smallbiggrin: notsureifmusereferencebutgoingtoassumeitisone

[GPuzzle]

Muse reference indeed.

[toapat]

Hee, that's a good pun.

its stolen from Things Mr. Welch can no longer do in RPGs, the father of these threads.

*My build can not involve killing people exclusively with Vorpal Pillows
**Not to figure out how to get Vorpal onto a Pillow either

*Yes, i can have a Dragonbone Bow
**Its Elfcraft? Sure
***The quarterstaff portion has both ends as deep crystal? fine
****Ok, so you want to enchant it, into 3 +10 weapons.
*****I can not spend all of my wealth on a bow with all the extras.

[illyahr]

*May no longer have a castle entirely encompassed by an anti-magic field.
**said castle will not be filled with constructs, thus negating sneak attacks
***said constructs will not be made by a master artificer, thus improving their Damage Reduction
****calling the place the Castle of NO will get books thrown at you

[Socksy]

*May no longer have a castle entirely encompassed by an anti-magic field.
**said castle will not be filled with constructs, thus negating sneak attacks
***said constructs will not be made by a master artificer, thus improving their Damage Reduction
****calling the place the Castle of NO will get books thrown at you

***** Making the Castle of NO the lair of a powerful Psionic something-or-other will result in a thrown XPH.

[vasharanpaladin]

*My build can not involve killing people exclusively with Vorpal Pillows
**Not to figure out how to get Vorpal onto a Pillow either


You use the Immortal's Handbook. I believe he calls the enchantment in question Crushing. :smallwink:

*Not allowed to use the Immortal's Handbook.
**From either side of the screen.
***Being "better balanced" than Deities and Demigods is no excuse.

[Sith_Happens]

* I'd better have a good reason for having X-Ray Vision (Limited to Clothing).
** There is no such thing as a good reason for having X-Ray Vision (Limited to Clothing), and I should stop trying to think of one.

[Lord Raziere]

* I'd better have a good reason for having X-Ray Vision (Limited to Clothing).
** There is no such thing as a good reason for having X-Ray Vision (Limited to Clothing), and I should stop trying to think of one.

*** No, not even to find concealed weapons, even if it is a legitimate security concern.
**** even if its technically less invasive than searching them by hand.
***** If you really need to find concealed weapons, take Detect Weapons rank 2!

[illyahr]

***** Making the Castle of NO the lair of a powerful Psionic something-or-other will result in a thrown XPH.

Close. Eldritch Knight who specialized in counterspells and Save or Suck spells. You know, just in case they got the bright idea to attack him while he was away from home. :smallbiggrin:

[Guizonde]

star wars: edge of the empire

*yes, i can play a wookie merc.
** no, his appearance may not be based off of banjo and kazooie, that means that yellow shorts are banned, and that the blue backpack will get me odd looks.
***no, i may not take weapon proficiency: kill-sat, death star, super destroyer, land speeder, bird, droid, teammate, or quad laser
****said wookie cannot nickname the ship's quad-laser "mr sexy"
*****said wookie cannot nickname his vibroaxe "rape-athlon" even if it is indeed a generator of violence of decathlonic proportions. (yes, ten frags in as many rounds. even i didn't believe it)
****** said wookie cannot nickname his heavy blaster "kazooie"

DnD:
* when the game master says i'll play a dwarf abjurator, i can't bargain into taking spell focus: evocation, and asking a gnome to build a tank for me.
**curiosity is a valid motivation for a wizard. spinning curiosity into "i wonder how i can become even killier while shielding my robes from blood" is not.
*** not allowed the following: eldritch knight, loremaster, any build resembling optimization for the sake of optimization, can't multi-class rogue, fighter, cleric, sorceror, and especially not engineer
****wizard 20 it is...

dm'ing:
*always remember that even if a session is tailor-made to out-brutalize the players, they'll manage to one-up the scenario thanks to blind luck and brutality.
* when npc'ing an absent player, i must not be luckier than him on dice rolls, especially as he's the medic and is not supposed to blow the mook's heavy machine gunning head off with a shotgun before the sniper gets a chance to shoot.
*my players are never again to use the following phrases as team philosophies: "YOLO", "what's the worst that could happen?", "who cares? we got a tank!", and "i'm pretty sure 5lbs of C4 is barely enough"

*back to lurking*

[Rater202]

*If we're playing a 3.5/Pathfinder blend Gestalt game, and my Alchemist/Artificer has a +5 Flaming Burst, Shocking Burst, Acidic Burst, Freezing Burst, Thunderous Burst, Ghost Strike, Venomous(Trollbane), Venomous(Black Lotus Extract), Anarchic, Holy, Wounding Drum-fed Gatling Rifle by the time the Other PC's are getting their +1 Swords, We might have a problem.
**This goes double for enchanting the Drum t contain infinite ammunition which counts as Adamantine, Silver, and Cold Iron simultaneously.
***The GM knows it's not my fault that the rest of the Party, in and out of Character, turned down my offer to craft similarly OP weapons for them at cost, still, the rest of the party feels a little over shadowed.
****When the Monk/Cleric breaks my gun, the proper response is to salvage the parts and build a new one(Which the GM let me do in half the build time for no gold cost), not insist that he pay the full market value of the gun.
*****Though that is because my character knows full well that said monk/cleric has taken a vow of poverty, not because of any other reasons.
******I'm more than welcome to smack him upside the head though.
*******I have to take of the +5 Elf Bane Vorpal Kenn Gauntlets of Lethality first.(Homebrew Magic Item. Like Metal Gauntlets, but includes the option to Change Damage types between Bludgeoning and Cutting)

[Socksy]

From last night:

* My response to complaints about the 3.5 Bard being suckier than Pathfinder's should not involve threatening to make the player use the older bard rules (http://www.mjyoung.net/dungeon/char/clas005.html) instead.

* If I make up really long Dragon names, they will just be shortened to things like "Jennifer".
** Despite the fact the Dragon in question was male.
*** Really should come up with real names for Dragons instead of brutally mangling the French language and typing the result phonetically and with a name ending attached.

*Yes, a stilletto dagger made of bone is the right size, shape and material to become a wand. No, I cannot get a healing shiv.

[DigoDragon]

* I am no longer allowed to create a 'Battle Attorney' super hero.
** Also, my theme song cannot be the unofficial lyrics to Phoenix Wright.
*** Banned from naming my attacks after law terms. "Litigation!" should never end in a Shoryuken uppercutting my opponent with a briefcase.

[Socratov]

From last night:

* My response to complaints about the 3.5 Bard being suckier than Pathfinder's should not involve threatening to make the player use the older bard rules (http://www.mjyoung.net/dungeon/char/clas005.html) instead.



Ehm... You do know about all the ways of optimizing IC and DFI, right? Similarly, you have seen the synergy between Virtuoso and sublime chord, right? Right?!

[Cowardly Griffo]

*I am not allowed to use "-punk" as an all-purpose suffix to describe whatever game we're playing.
**Even if the GM eventually admits that we are in fact playing chocolatepunk.

*I am not allowed to suggest that we name every single tavern, bar and other fine establishment that we run into "The Last Bugbear."

[Sith_Happens]

* I am no longer allowed to create a 'Battle Attorney' super hero.

But it's so efficient! You can catch criminals and prosecute them!

** The GM creates all of my characters from now on.

[GPuzzle]

*The aberrations in Call of Cthulhu cannot be "The Grandmapocalypse".

[unseenmage]

But it's so efficient! You can catch criminals and prosecute them!

** The GM creates all of my characters from now on.

*** My GM is not "The Law".

[GPuzzle]

****If playing a Battle Attorney, I cannot repeat Jack Nicholson's famous quote in A Few Good Men.

[janusmaxwell]

Close. Eldritch Knight who specialized in counterspells and Save or Suck spells. You know, just in case they got the bright idea to attack him while he was away from home. :smallbiggrin:
Dude! You're a freaking ---hole! That's Awesome! LOL

[DigoDragon]

But it's so efficient! You can catch criminals and prosecute them!

** The GM creates all of my characters from now on.

Ha!! That got me laughing this morning. :smallsmile:

[dramatic flare]

*** My GM is not "The Law".

**** Nor is Sylvester Styllone.
*****Any further references to a movie the GM despises will result in catastrophic character nuking.

[Wookieetank]

**** Nor is Sylvester Styllone.
*****Any further references to a movie the GM despises will result in catastrophic character nuking.

******Not allowed to out run the resulting explosion.
*******Doesn't matter how many stop time spells I may have prepared.

[Spore]

* My old goblin may bring the sorcerer specialised in fire spells into the arcane library.
** I may however have her control her powers.
*** Doubly so if the library is situated in an ancient forest guarded by highly flammable treants.
...
**** thinking back my now-goblin turned half-elf will totally be blamed for the burnt down library.