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Nerd-o-rama
2014-03-20, 06:20 PM
Hey guys. I'm running an Eberron game face to face right now and I am going to introduce an NPC conspiracy theorist who will be full of information that's useful and factual, if outlandish (the real king of Karrnath is imprisoned in Dreadhold) mixed in with a lot more information that's absolute horsecrap (every monarch in Khorvaire has been secretly replaced by polymorphed lizardfolk).

I need some help coming up with more bizarre, untrue (probably) rumors and conspiracy theories for this gentleman to spout about Rich Burlew's least favorite campaign setting, and I thought "why not just post this problem to giantitp and people can share entertaining ideas?"

If it makes a difference, the party is Evil-inclined and the person giving this information is a gnome that technically works as a spy for hire but is mostly just nuts.

Putting this in Roleplaying Games because it's technically just as useful for Fourth Edition as 3.5/Pathfinder. Or hell, any so-called dungeonpunk campaign setting if you're vague enough.

Actana
2014-03-20, 06:43 PM
Warforged are actually all conduits for demons, and every warforged is actually a demon in a metallic body, and they were originally made for the demons to infiltrate and invade Khorvaire, and House Cannith is in on the job!

This actually may be more true than you realize, as long as you replace demons with Quori.

Mastikator
2014-03-20, 06:59 PM
The leaders of the Silver Flame are shape shifted dragons trying to conquer the humanoid races from within.

House Phiarlan are selling information to the devils of Shavrath.

The bank of House Kundarak sell slaves to demons for gold mined from Khyber. Some of the banking executives are demons in disguise.

The house of the Undying are actually vampires.

We're actually inside Khyber right now, this is all an elaborate illusion created by the Lords of Dusk to get information from us.

There are people who have bugs in their heads that controls their minds, they want to put bugs into your heads too.

Ravian
2014-03-20, 07:03 PM
Well given how few people know anything concrete about the Draconic Prophesy (though the signs are everywhere, including plastered across people's faces :smalltongue:) I can see that a bunch of conspiracy theorists would talk about what the prophesy actually means. Just insert your favorite group into "The prophesy fortells that <blank> will take over the world.

The great thing about Eberron is that there are so many groups that you can claim any one of them is up to something nefarious, and there's about a 75% chance you're right.

Other interesting false theories:
-The Church of the Silver Flame is controlled by a demon/yuan-ti/orcs. :smalltongue: (not precisely true but it does have a nice hint of truth in it)

-The Warforged are all secretly controlled by House Cannith, they have a command word on each of them. The Lord of Blades is just a diversion for when the real construct rebellion rises from within.

-House Phiarlan is actually one of the most extensive spy networks in Khorvaire. (also true but honestly to the average Khorvairian it would be like telling everyone that Disney controls an elite group of spies and assassins. You'd probably get a couple of amused "Why am I not surprised?"'s but no one would take you seriously.)

-House Kundarak is actually a front for a cult of the Dragon Below (Little parody of the Rothschild conspiracies, and with a little hint of the Arum)

-The Dragonmarked Houses replaced the monarchs with puppet changelings before the Last War started, the whole war was just an excuse to make huge profits off of a war-time economy. Once they recover from the Mourning they'll start the whole thing over again.

-The Mourning was an inside job. Wake up Sheeple! :smallfurious::smalltongue:

-Breland didn't lose Droaam to the daughters of Sora Kell, the king sold it to them. The entire Breland royal family are puppets to Droaam and will sell the country out to the monsters once they have a chance.

-Khalastar are trying to take over Khorvaire by controlling the minds of key government officials throughout the five nations. (This conspiracy is in no way spread by the Inspired. Pay no attention to such deviant thoughts imperfect mortal. The Inspired are your friends. :smalltongue:)

-The entire Draconic prophesy is a sham. The dragons of Argonesson secretly control the Dragonmarked houses and are using them to cripple Khorvaire economically before they begin the invasion (why the Dragons would need the houses to do that is beyond me though :smallamused:)

-The elves of Aerenal are planning on taking over Khorvaire through a vast conspiracy that knows no bounds and began thousands of years ago. Valenar is the main invasion force waiting for the chance to strike. Kaarnath's already fallen to their weird undead worshiping religion (one of their own is already the queen after all). Their dragonmarked houses are brainwashing us with their entertainment so we'll accept them without complaint. Worse, the half-elves are also in league with them, House Lyrander will blockade any nation that resists their rule, and House Medani will ensure that rebellion doesn't occur by rooting out traitors and dissidents.


The worse thing is half of these could even make a good plot for a campaign. Though you have to accept that most of them involve a sizable portion of history being wrong. (Which probably means Sivis is in on it. :smalltongue:)

DeltaEmil
2014-03-20, 07:30 PM
King Kaius III. is a vampire and actually his own grandfather.

Humans are the descendants of a Daelkyr Lord, which is why they can mate with everything and create half-human-spawns.

A crazy hobo is claiming that there are other prime material worlds like Eberron, and that he's from a world named Oerth.

Every time a divine spellcaster worshiping the Silver Flame casts magic, the Silver Flame grows weaker, until one day, it will cease to exist.

The conductor stones upon which the lightning rail travels are all ancient seals keeping a powerful Rakshasa Rajah imprisoned.

Mind Flayers aren't the high servants of the Daelkyr, but time travelers from the future.

The prophecy states that naught will be left save shattered thrones with no rulers. But the dead dragons shall rule the world entire...

The prophecy states that naught will be left save shattered thrones with no rulers but the dead. Dragons shall rule the world entire...

The dragons actually killed all the couatls and bound their soul into a big silver-like flame.

Yuan-Ti are the descendants of the couatls. Some humans are the descendants of the yuan-ti. One day, these humans will shed their skin and reveal their true form as a winged serpent. Jaela Daran is a couatl, that's why she can cast powerful spells despite being so young.

The dragonmarks are a magical curse that the dragons inflicted upon the humanoid races to enslave them. The last war was planned by the dragons for their nefarious purpose.

Cyre was actually dragged down to Khyber, and the Lord of Blades brings captured humanoids there to serve as slaves.

The Lord of Blades isn't a warforged, but Kaius ir'Wynarn I. inside a magical armor.

Aurala ir'Wynarn is a vampire and actually her own mother.

Nerd-o-rama
2014-03-20, 07:42 PM
The conductor stones upon which the lightning rail travels are all ancient seals keeping a powerful Rakshasa Rajah imprisoned.

This actually reminds me of this crazy game about magical hobos I talked to the creators of once, where the United States' railways were built on top of the North American equivalent of Song Lines (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Song_lines)...

Big Fau
2014-03-20, 08:21 PM
The conductor stones upon which the lightning rail travels are all ancient seals keeping a powerful Rakshasa Rajah imprisoned.

Urge to do an Eberron-themed Spirit Tracks parody rising...

Alleran
2014-03-21, 12:41 AM
King Kaius III. is a vampire and actually his own grandfather.
Now look here. It's one thing to post crazy conspiracy theories, but this one is just too impossible to believe. :smalltongue:

Aergoth
2014-03-21, 12:51 AM
Warforged and creation forges were actually designed by the couatls/giants/lords of dust/your mother, that's why they keep finding bits of stuff that work with them in the middle of the jungle!

Bound elementals aren't actually bound! They're just waiting for the right moment to cut loose and doom an entire airship! The dragonmarked houses know this but they won't tell you!

Some people knew the Mourning was coming, and hid in a sealed shelter inside the lightning train station! That's why no one's bothered to break the line that goes into the Mournlands, they're secretly sending supplies there!

Dr.Gara
2014-03-21, 01:02 AM
(every monarch in Khorvaire has been secretly replaced by polymorphed lizardfolk).

You've made my night with that right there. Thank you. Can I sig this?

Yora
2014-03-21, 03:07 AM
Now look here. It's one thing to post crazy conspiracy theories, but this one is just too impossible to believe. :smalltongue:

It's actually one of the most bizzare sounding ones here.


Two things I actually believe:

The Silver Flame is evil. The demon that went inside it during its creation is really in control.

The Mournlands are a magical accident caused by a failed attempt to create a magic ward over all of Cyre. The borders of the Mournlands follow the exact borders of Cyre at the time, which means someone put magic markers along the border to define the wards area. The only power who would have access to all the borders of Cyre, but not beyond it, would have been Cyre itself. Neither Karnath nor Breeland would have been able to put markers in exactly those positions, if they wanted to mark the area for an attack spell. Since the spell must originate from Cyre, it was most certainly an accident and not a directed attack.
(I'm not even sure if the area of the Mournland matches the territory of Cyre, or if Karnath and Breeland simply moved their borders to the edge of the Mournlands once Cyre was out of the picture, but that doesn't matter for a conspiracy theory.)

Nerd-o-rama
2014-03-21, 08:28 AM
You've made my night with that right there. Thank you. Can I sig this?

Feel free. It was the least original thing in here.

The Oni
2014-03-21, 09:08 AM
http://i.imgur.com/Jo8q7.jpg

So he's basically this guy. Well, he's a gnome, so I guess he's half of this guy.

Sebastrd
2014-03-21, 09:53 AM
The drow of Xen'drik were only able to defeat their giant masters because they received help from their more powerful brethren from another world - a place called "Fey Rune" or something.

Prime32
2014-03-21, 06:21 PM
<Insert country> has a top-secret base in Risia where they test new military technology, accessible through a portal under <Insert castle or landmark>. Some of the surrounding areas look suspiciously like the Mournland.

Outsiders from Shavarath occasionally show up in search of mighty warriors, offering them immortality if they swear to fight for their cause forever.

Retrievers (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/demon.htm#retriever) are built on warforged technology or vice versa. Alternatively they're what happens when a warforged is "recruited" by the methods above.

Something is living in the Ring of Syberis. My friend's uncle's cousin saw it once.

The Lords of Dust aren't disguising themselves as political figures. Rather, those political figures became so corrupt that they spontaneously transformed into demons.

King Boranel is a were-dragonhawk. (he seems to find this theory amusing, and has joked about it in public)

House Vadalis have created a giant bioweapon with a carapace that reflects all magic.

Lord Raziere
2014-03-21, 07:05 PM
Cyre is still alive, The Mourning was actually a switching of lands, not destruction y'see? The reason they switched is because Cyre discovered a Plane of Paradise, and so made a deal with them to switch Cyre and the Mournland, the only scar upon it, and thus run away from the war and live in paradise while we suffer! the corpses you find? just alternate plane versions of people still alive.

The Dragonshards are Khybers eyes. They see all. they know all. Through them, Khyber influences everyones minds with his demonic magics, the only way to win is to destroy all the shards so that Khyber is blinded!

The gods are real. they caused the Mourning, so that that they would have different entertainment, because they were getting bored with watching a war play all the time! We are all here for the gods amusement and nothing else. they eat and laugh at our suffering!

the dragon marks are cursed. you must cut them out. they mark you as a pawn for the Draconic Prophecy, who is actually an old man who birthed all dragons out of his mouth, and he wants to give toys to his children so that they can have fun, without any regards to our well being!

Xen'drik is not real. its actually a vast complex solid illusion designed to convince you that the world is older than it actually is, when actually we were all created four years ago when the Mourning "started", when it was created like that and all our memories and books were implanted to make us think we are older...

Sarlona is secretly controlled by fire elementals. the signs are all there!

orcs, goblins and trolls are actually the goodly races, elves dwarves and humans were all created by demons to kill the orcs and goblins with racist propaganda!

There is no difference between gnomes and halflings! Zilargo just wants people to THINK that so that they can keep the Talentans exiled and live out better lives in their cities while looking down upon the Talentans!

Clerics put positive energy in our water! they plan to poison us all by giving us too much positive energy so that we all get cancer and have to pay exorbitant cure spell fees just to live! then they will laugh at us while they profit off our suffering!

The Blood of Vol are actually trying to save the world by protecting us from the truth, upholding the masquerade so that we don't know what they think will hurt if the secret got out! They are misguided, the truth must be told about the bugbear's plans to take over everything!

Zilargo hates us all. they are planning to create magic that will turn the entire world into a desert and thus rule over us as sorcerous overlords in small city-states amidst the silt and sands, you must stop them before they begin their genocidal crusade against us all!

The universe is all in a bottle. Kept by a cosmic entity that doesn't want us to know about the City Outside. You must break out of the bottle.

The Mourning is not real. Its an illusion you see, a conspiracy to make us stop fighting, when we really we should be fighting more to appease the blood god that keeps the stars from falling on our heads.

Galifar I is still alive. this was all a master-plot so that he can return and rule us all again for all eternity. The trees are his spies.

Nerd-o-rama
2014-03-21, 07:15 PM
http://i.imgur.com/Jo8q7.jpg

So he's basically this guy. Well, he's a gnome, so I guess he's half of this guy.

I hope to create an NPC even a tenth as entertaining as No-Bark.

Thanks for the suggestions everybody, this is really helpful.

The Oni
2014-03-21, 08:51 PM
Monks aren't underpowered, they're just trying to lull us into a false sense of security.

Pokonic
2014-03-21, 10:52 PM
The leaders of all the Dragonmarked houses are all secretly dragons, and have been pretending to be different individuals for generations. Hence, dragonmarks are just something that pops up on a persons skin when they're descended from a dragon. Aberrant dragonmarked are just those who are part dragon, but not descended from blood from any of the 12 houses. Because all the house leaders cooperate to make a unified army of their collective kin, they try and stamp out any other dragon's attempt at starting one.

Slipperychicken
2014-04-01, 08:55 AM
Gnomes did 2/20.

Arbane
2014-04-02, 06:01 AM
Deep, deep underground, mad creatures called Derro (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Sharpe_Shaver) use strange machines (http://falsemachine.blogspot.co.nz/2014/03/derro.html) to control our minds and torture us! Only wearing a metal helmet at all times can block their rays!

shadow_archmagi
2014-04-02, 06:32 AM
I need some help coming up with more bizarre, untrue (probably) rumors and conspiracy theories for this gentleman to spout about Rich Burlew's least favorite campaign setting, and I thought "why not just post this problem to giantitp and people can share entertaining ideas?"

The Mourning was an attempt to harness the power of Dal'Quor to imbue Cyre with the properties of the dream-world, making it a malleable paradise that responded to every citizen's every whim. The ritual... almost worked? Cyre certainly became a malleable realm where anything is possible.

ImperiousLeader
2014-04-02, 04:15 PM
These are probably not true (or are they?):

- The Mourning was caused by Breland, their secret fourth floating fortress built the weapon and activated it.

- The Warforged are prototypes, House Cannith is actually trying to create immortal bodies to transfer their consciousness into.

- Jaela Daran, the Keeper of the Flame, is King Boranel's illegitimate daughter.

Fable Wright
2014-04-02, 04:18 PM
You ever heard of a dragon in Droaam? Seems like the perfect place for them: plenty of food and minions, and easy territory. But there aren't any dragon warlords. Just ask Kethelrax.

House Valadis was up to some crazy experiments in Cyre just before the Mourning. Like, breeding humans crazy. Forty years ago, legend has it that one of their projects, codenamed 'Boranel,' managed to escape on a ship to Xen'drik, and after that the facilities were locked down tight. About this time, there were rumors of a bastard third child of Boranex floating around...

Don't be fooled by the Riedran Embassies. They look generous, but really, they want to plant eggs in all of our heads that turn us into clones of their leaders!

Katra-Maena-Teraza. Kaius-Mishaan-Thalin. Do I have to draw you a diagram?

House Tharashk doesn't exist.

Ever wonder why House Orion doesn't like House Lyrandar's airships? It's because the airships are actually powered by Conductor Stones. The elementals are basically giant batteries. Every time an airship docks, every train on the rail slows down. If Lyrandar's fleet grows too large, the lightning rails may cease to work altogether.

Galifar I is actually a vampire who has grown fond of impersonating his progeny. So far, he seems to be fond of Karrnathi nobility, locking the real King Kaius I and III in Dreadhold and taking their place when they came of age.

There's a secret thought police in Zilargo that's made of terrible creatures from Dal Quor that invade people's dreams at night. Anyone who dreams of defying their Gnomish overlords will simply disappear overnight...

Queen Aurala is actually the legendary Sora Kell. She's plotting with her daughters to break the Treaty of Thronehold and take over all of Khorvaire.

Every warlord in Droaam agreed to join the Sisters after Sora Katra spoke to them, except one. Sora Teraza was the one who convinced Sheska to join the sisters. Why? I'll tell you: Sora Katra is terrified of snakes.

The world wasn't created by the Progenitor Dragons, like the story books say. Really, it was pulled out of the oven, whole, by a baker named Keith.

Tanuki Tales
2014-04-02, 04:32 PM
My favorite conspiracy theory for Eberron is that The Day of Mourning was the result of Ravenloft claiming Cyre as a new piece of its gothic horror pie.

Nerd-o-rama
2014-04-02, 07:05 PM
House Tharashk doesn't exist.

What's funny is that the players met this NPC in the middle of a camp of Finders' Guild goons they'd just killed; he was their employer's informant. Wish this had been posted before that session.

(I'm more likely to adapt this into Irontown doesn't exist (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bielefeld_Conspiracy) or something similar in the future, though.)

Anyway, if anyone was curious, I ran the session where I introduced the NPC in question (one Beni Clebdecher) about a week and a half ago and the players greatly enjoyed his general lunacy. Sadly the forums were down so I had to go by memory, but I'd like to thank everyone for their help and say you should keep them coming as these are great reads.

137beth
2014-04-15, 10:20 PM
There is no difference between gnomes and halflings! Zilargo just wants people to THINK that so that they can keep the Talentans exiled and live out better lives in their cities while looking down upon the Talentans!

I think this is the funniest thing I have read recently. Mind if I sig this?
Moving on,
--When enough wights spawn quickly enough in the same area, they all morph into a fine mist...and that is how the Mourning happened!
--Khoravar half-elves are really Quori-possessed elves.
--The Last War was a hoax: Boranel, Aurala, Jaela, Dannel, Kaius I, and Kaius III are all the same person!
--Vol is really Rich Burlew, set on destroying his Arch Nemesis Baker.
--The people who were "killed" in the Mourning didn't actually die, they were transported unharmed to Droamm (or anywhere else...heck, maybe they were transported to the Cogs in Sharn?)
--Siberhys is actually alive, he successfully killed Khyber.
--A mindflayer can take control of all dragonmarked humanoids at will.
--Jaela is actually 111, but uses polymorph to appear 11.
--Every gnome in the world automatically knows the cause of the Mourning, and some of them were in on it, but so far none of them have revealed the cause to any non-gnome.
--The giants' civilization was not wiped out: the apparent wilderness on Xen'Drik is a massive illusion created by the giants.

AvalancheHurler
2014-04-19, 10:15 AM
Not really that bizarre, but have one relating to the Mourning. (Warning: long post)

The Mourning was an attempt to end the war forever that backfired horribly. Cyre discovered a strange dragonshard. It was pure white, and where most dragonshards have a faint magical aura about them, this one appeared to be the exact opposite. It was like a magical vacuum. Somebody figures out that this thing can absorb and store magical energy, so they do the only logical thing, turn it into a doomsday device.

First, they set up magical wards all around Cyre (explaining why the Dead Grey Mist conforms exactly to Cyre's borders) and begin an ancient arcane ritual to siphon magic from all over Eberron into the white dragonshard. The plan was to pump it full of magic, then levitate it over the barrier protecting Cyre and hit it with a lightning bolt to detonate it, releasing all of the stored magic and wiping out everything outside of the border. Unfortunately, they didn't count on one thing, the levitation spell. The dragonshard absorbed some of the energy from the spell, and overloaded. It went off inside the barrier, and thus the Mournland was created.

That white dragonshard still exists. It rests at the bottom of the Glowing Chasm, and an unknown percentage of the world's magic is still tied up in the dragonshard.

Oh, I forgot to mention, related to this, magic is a finite resource, but it is still exponentially greater than the capacity of any mortal creature to control it.

I'm working on a book centered around this concept, so if I can get published *fingers crossed* this might actually become canon :smallbiggrin:

Lord Raziere
2014-04-19, 12:05 PM
I think this is the funniest thing I have read recently. Mind if I sig this?


Sure, why not?

also:

The Doppelgangers are everywhere. They wish to take over everything. How do you know they haven't already?

Alex12
2014-04-21, 06:13 PM
There's a secret cabal of shifters who have learned how to transform completely into harmless forms like housecats, perfect for infiltration! They call themselves Tibbits, and they've infiltrated every part of society! That's the real reason for the deaths of all those commoners at the vicious claws of their cats!


The left third rib of every kobold can be used in place of a dragonshard. Attempting to use the right third rib of a kobold to do the same thing makes you explode.

3SecondCultist
2014-05-16, 04:25 PM
The Quori are on the verge of being able to possess dragons from Argonnessen in their sleep. The great silver wyrm Zenobaal, convinced that the Draconic Prophecy can only end with the supremacy of all of dragonkind over lesser races (with himself at the head, of course), sets in motion the events of the Mourning by corrupting a high-ranking draconic agent of the Chamber in Khorvaire during the Last War. This agent betrays and kills off most of the Chamber members in secret, using the casualties of the war to disguise his murders. But not before this draconic agent combs over the files of what remains of the Chamber in order to look for a suitable mortal to help him with the task he believes to be the destiny of Khorvaire: to turn the entire continent's populace into mindless warrior servants to fight the Quori. He finds this mortal in the form of one Haldren ir'Brassek, a disgruntled Aundairian military leader who has been called back from the Eldeen Reaches due to accounts of 'war crimes' committed against local populations.

The device is completed dropped on Cyre, using the Brelish prototype airship known as 'The Golden Dragon' (which was secretly recommissioned after the Last War ended), but of course everything goes horribly wrong. Instead of converting the people of Cyre into draconic slaves, the device warps and mutates the very land itself against all life. Brassek is suspected, but nobody is ever able to prove his involvement, so he is sent to Dreadhold for a list of other laundry crimes. Of the unnamed draconic agent, there is no sign.

Those who speculate on the nature of the Mourning call this the 'Dragonhawk Theory'. :smallcool:

By the way, all of this is totally plausible in-universe. I used materials from the Forge of War and Dragons of Eberron supplements, as well as the Voyage of the Golden Dragon adventure book.

Bohandas
2016-11-01, 12:45 AM
Oargev ir'Wynarn did the Day of Mourning