Elven Marriage

[Sploggle1]

In my campaign I have an elf character who's wedding is coming soon. Obviously we all know that elves are betrothed but they never mention anything about ceremonies. I have been looking through the Dragon magazines (Mainly issue #60 on the elven point of view) but cant find anything about marriage. it is not a major issue because in the end I may add my own bit to change it a touch but I would like to know what to base it off of.

So finally my question is where would I find the resources about elven marriage? If it is in the Dragon magazines the issue number would be all I need.

[Darkweave31]

Did you check Races of the Wild? It has a lot of information of elven culture. May have what you need or at least info to approximate.

[atemu1234]

What kind of elf? Are we talking woodsy sort of elf, the kind who grew up in Rivendell style thing or are we talking fully integrated with urban society, or are we talking elf of a specific religion? In the first case, I recommend something like burying an acorn being an integral part of the relationship, to show how it will grow and bear fruit (nuts are technically fruit). In the second case, I'd say a normal marriage in front of an authority of some sort. In the third case, I'd say that you should stick with a marriage in front of a cleric of their deity.

[BWR]

For what setting and what elven culture in setting? There's quite a lot to choose from. For instance Green elves on Evermeet marry in a grove of trees sacred to Rillifane.

The Complete Book of Elves says that marriages are often formal affairs where the couple do the deed and the whole thing is overseen by priests of Halani Celanil, and is an institution rarely entered because they take 'death do you part' rather seriously, to the point where only one divorce was noted in the last 3000 years.

Elves of Alfheim in Mystara, and presumably most other elven communities who are of a similar outlook, don't marry as a rule. Marriage as a legal and social institution is something known to them from humans, but doesn't make sense to them. Elves will find someone they love, spend time together and at some point, about 70-80 years down the line, will probably get a little bored with eachother and want to try something new. Life is too long to be tied down with the same person all the time (though couples who stay together for longer than the norm are considered very sweet and cute). The Belcadiz elves probably have more standard marriages for politics and stuff. Shadow Elves marry men into the women's clan, and cast the Ceremony spell during the marriage.

[RavynsLand]

Did you check Races of the Wild? It has a lot of information of elven culture. May have what you need or at least info to approximate.

This.

RotW has a ton of info on elven culture and rituals, and I do believe weddings are among them.

[Sploggle1]

Grey elf is the elf they are playing and I'll have to go through races of the wild. Yes I do also have them located in a forest I call the Luminescent forest due to the Latherian religion. I do like the acorn Idea as well.
The god is Corellon Latherian.

[malonkey1]

An elven marriage ceremony can take many forms. Though it is often a ritual celebrated before the entire community, it can consist simply of two elves speaking the words that bind them forever with no witnesses except the trees and the grass. Most elven weddings are officiated by a priest of whatever deity the couple deems appropriate (most often Hanali Celanil, but sometimes Corellon Larethian). The two elves write and speak their own vows, and the priest uses their own words to seal the union. Thus, an exchange of vows amounts to an exchange of life essence that forever bonds one to the other. Dowries are not usually exchanged unless the marriage is of considerable political import, though gifts to the newly wedded couple from the community are common.

I think this should be sufficient to start with.

[Lord Vukodlak]

My own High Elf back in 3.0 had a human marriage ceremony. Mainly because his Drow wife read a lot of human romance novels. In that setting elven marriages ceremonies were typically quite small so of course she wanted something truly royal and elaborate.

[Phelix-Mu]

Grey elves are typically sticklers for tradition. So, while all the general stuff applies (and I like that acorn idea, too), here are some things that that particular subrace might favor:

- Wedding heirlooms: From a dress, to jewelry, to other items inherited as part of marriage (which can also signify transfer of household leadership, where appropriate), these would be common, and likely items of great ancestral value and exquisite craftsmanship (modified, of course, based on the class status of the particular families involved).

- Favored Priests/Officiates: If either party is from a prestigious family, that family is likely tight with some other family or group of religious figures, and will seek to make sure the ceremony is consecrated by the most authoritative or familiar cleric available.

- Magic: If magic is common in the family or community (as it almost always is among elves), expect it to be used to provide special enhancements to the ceremony. Elven magic typically isn't very flashy, but they do favor using magic to subtly manipulate nature into pleasing and symbolic forms, perhaps causing flowers to bloom out of season, forming an altar from ice and snow, causing wild birds to flock at auspicious moments, and otherwise bathing the area in gentle light and a feeling of peace and tranquility (or something of the sort). This is epic win flavor stuff for the DM to play around with. Pick a theme appropriate to the couple or their families (or to the circumstances of their meeting, etc) and really make a visual image that will stick with the player.

- Racial Purity Issues: Depending on campaign setting and the DM's purposes, some grey elves may be more or less concerned with racial purity and the superiority of elves above other races. While they aren't typically incendiary about these issues, they can be subtly unwelcoming or skeptical of the non-elven guests of the character in question. Common behaviors would be unwillingness to discuss the finer points of elven tradition in front of outsiders, relegating non-elves to secondary or purely spectator roles, to the kind of vaguely unfriendly whispering and sideways glancing that often characterizes those with such bigoted views in social gatherings. Again, this varies heavily by setting and context, and any DM would be well-justified to ignore this fluff if it problematic in this instance (or just say that everyone involved is in such high spirits that the racism gets left for other, less auspicious moments).

[Stoneback]

ELEVEN MARRIAGES!!?? You would think he would have learned after 4 or 5...

[Phelix-Mu]

ELEVEN MARRIAGES!!?? You would think he would have learned after 4 or 5...

Nice. I like some good word-based humor.:smallsmile:

[Stoneback]

Betazoids get married in the nude. Not just the couple, but everyone. That kind of sounds elfy.

Or maybe that's a ELVEN MIRAGE I'm thinking of

[Lord Vukodlak]

Betazoids get married in the nude. Not just the couple, but everyone. That kind of sounds elfy.

Or maybe that's a ELVEN MIRAGE I'm thinking of

Nah I don't think Elves would put on that kind of free show.

[Sith_Happens]

Betazoids get married in the nude. Not just the couple, but everyone. That kind of sounds elfy.

You get INT to HP! You get INT to HP! Everyone gets INT to HP!