Belkar's Romantic Intrest

[kpenguin]

Thus far, through the course of the comic, Belkar remains the only member of the OotS not to have a romantic interest. Roy went out with Celia and they seem to have left on good terms (athough she won't let Roy use that talisman as a booty talisman). Haley and Elan have each other. V is married. Durkon had that short affair with Hilga. Belkar is the only one that I can confirm lacks any romantic intrest at all (and no, the New Year's Day Event doesn't count.) I don't think that his brain is too small to handle something like that, so who do you guys think would make a good match for Belkar?

Me? I would say Miko? Why Miko? Because it would be outrageously funny.

[donkyhotay]

Belkar is too homicidal to have a romantic interest. He would probably end up killing her unless she killed him first.

[fwiffo]

Belkar is too homicidal to have a romantic interest. He would probably end up killing her unless she killed him first.

So you are voting for Miko too, right?

[Setra]

Belkar is too homicidal to have a romantic interest. He would probably end up killing her unless she killed him first.

Therein lies the romance.

Hot halfling chick: I'm gonna slit your throat!
Belkar: I'm in love

[Krellen]

Belkar's too psychotic for love. Belkar in love wouldn't be funny.

[Shattersnap]

So you are voting for Miko too, right?

That there is PRECISELY the reason Miko has my vote. After all, I don't think I'm the only one who sensed some chemistry going on between the two during their epic battle, am I? ::wink, wink::

[Silverlocke980]

This entire topic scares the crap out of me...

[Alex Kidd]

I'll vote Miko, though V/Belkar would be funny, Miko/Belkar could turn into one of the best plots in the comic.

Someone post that Belkar making out with Miko pic, this thread demands it.

[kpenguin]

Maybe Belkar's ehhhh... shall we say over agression? can be alleviated with some Treasure Type O. I doubt it though.

:belkar: man... that was awesome... I think that I just found something that can replace killing as a hobby

[Grasilich]

Miko and Belkar 4eva

[archon_huskie]

I feel I have come home. Count me down for Miko too.

[ElfLad]

Ale and whores, mostly the ale.

[ReaganStorme]

I can't believe nobody has worked it out yet!

:sabine: Sabine seduces :belkar: Belkar in one of her many disguises (to gain info, to kill time ala #394 last panel, whatever)!

Of course, :belkar: falls madly in love and spends time pining after her, even when he finds out the TRUTH. Dun-dun DAAAAA!

:smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:

[Professor Tanhauser]

Actually I think belkar has a romantic interest, namely the attractive Vaarsavius.

I mean, it's it obvious? V is the only person belkar kissed, and judging from that new years eve pic we're not just talking lips, I bet belkar slipped V the tongue whilke he was at it. I mean, you know belkar, never do anything halfway, right?

Now V is married, and has been trying to drive belkar away because belkar's kiss was so pleasurable and arousing that V fears a repetition might lead to an irrestible urge to become passionately involved with the belkster, and V, being married, would hate to be driven to adultery.

Still, you never know. I mean, belkar could secretly be attracted to V's intellect while V is secretly enthralled by Belkar's raw masculine rage, not that either could admit it.

I could see a picture of V and belkar kissing passionately, arms itghtly locked around each other, eyes closed, oblivious to the outside world in their moment of ecstacy. Maybe even a few valantine hearts could be swirling around them.

*SIGH* If only I had the artistic talent to render that image, and post here for everyone's enjoyment.

[Demented]

Therein lies the romance.

Hot halfling chick: I'm gonna slit your throat!
Belkar: I'm in love

Hot halfling chick: You've been cheating on me!
Belkar: Oh, I'm sorry, did I kill yours?
Hot halfling chick: You killed ALL of them!
Belkar: Hey! I called them first!

[toysailor]

Not everyone has to hook up with someone. Romance would be overused should it come to that.

[kpenguin]

The idea that everyone hooks up is so cliched that it HAS to be parodied!

[Aldebaran]

I think there already was a thread about this. And someone said, that "the idea of Belkar having a romance just feels inheritely wrong...The whores, on the other hand..."

I totally agreewith that. belkar having some other than homicidal relation would be...against his psychotic character,I´d say. Only if...well, if he found a chick that enjoys killing as much as he does, which I doubt

[starwoof]

Belkar dosnt have a romantic interest because he is incapable of love. He just wants to... well... bow chicka bow wow.

[Tordek]

Isn't V married? Also, what # comic was Belkar kissing V?

[kpenguin]

V is married and a very drunk Belkar kissed V in comic#316 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0316.html)

[Tilian]

Actually I think belkar has a romantic interest, namely the attractive Vaarsavius.

I mean, it's it obvious? V is the only person belkar kissed, and judging from that new years eve pic we're not just talking lips, I bet belkar slipped V the tongue whilke he was at it. I mean, you know belkar, never do anything halfway, right?

Now V is married, and has been trying to drive belkar away because belkar's kiss was so pleasurable and arousing that V fears a repetition might lead to an irrestible urge to become passionately involved with the belkster, and V, being married, would hate to be driven to adultery.

Still, you never know. I mean, belkar could secretly be attracted to V's intellect while V is secretly enthralled by Belkar's raw masculine rage, not that either could admit it.

I could see a picture of V and belkar kissing passionately, arms itghtly locked around each other, eyes closed, oblivious to the outside world in their moment of ecstacy. Maybe even a few valantine hearts could be swirling around them.


You are clearly posting from the mouth of madness and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I'd pay to see this picture just for the sheer wrongness and mind shattering potential of it.

[Karkadinn]

Xykon.
No, wait, hear me out, good citizens!
Belkar loves killing people.
I mean, he really loves killing people, with the kind of passionate energy devoted to the subject that most of us reserve for web comics and internet abortion debates.
So why not fall for someone who he can kill... over, and over, and over again?
And they share such similar personalities and hobby interests! They're both evil and they both love being evil, and it's purely circumstance that they're on opposite sides in the main conflict.
It makes perfect sense, I tell you!
Xykon + Belkar 4 eva

[kpenguin]

Alright... Xykon+Belkar just replaced Vaarsavius+Belkar on my list of disturbing images. Ugghhh... the only thing worse would be Thog+Belkar...

[MoelVermillion]

I think Belkar needs to fall in love with a kobold, specifically Yokyok's sister that we've never heard about before. Disturbing and ironic, just the way i like it.

[kpenguin]

At least they'd be the same size. Anyway, I put up a poll.

[ElfLad]

Where's "Ale and whores, in that order"?

[kpenguin]

I think that goes under "Belkar prefers whores" Of course, you could vote other if you're refering to Sabine.

[Green Bean]

Actually I think belkar has a romantic interest, namely the attractive Vaarsavius.

I mean, it's it obvious? V is the only person belkar kissed, and judging from that new years eve pic we're not just talking lips, I bet belkar slipped V the tongue whilke he was at it. I mean, you know belkar, never do anything halfway, right?

Now V is married, and has been trying to drive belkar away because belkar's kiss was so pleasurable and arousing that V fears a repetition might lead to an irrestible urge to become passionately involved with the belkster, and V, being married, would hate to be driven to adultery.

Still, you never know. I mean, belkar could secretly be attracted to V's intellect while V is secretly enthralled by Belkar's raw masculine rage, not that either could admit it.

I could see a picture of V and belkar kissing passionately, arms itghtly locked around each other, eyes closed, oblivious to the outside world in their moment of ecstacy. Maybe even a few valantine hearts could be swirling around them.

*SIGH* If only I had the artistic talent to render that image, and post here for everyone's enjoyment.

http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h87/osiris32/BxV-1.jpg

See? Look what you made me do!:smallmad:


(:smallbiggrin:)

[kpenguin]

Arrgh! My eyes! My eyes! Blindness, o mighty Thor, grant me the boon of blindness! Seriously though, nice pic. Got a few laughs out of me. Not sure that anyone would actually do that. Incidentally, there are no "Belkar with V" votes.

[The_Old_Fox]

I just don't see a long term/true love/ almost genuine relationship in store for my favorite little pyscho. And on another note, I think he should live it up as much as he can as often as he can if the oracle is to be taken seriously. :belkar: can't afford or bother being tied down, time is wasting!

[Setra]

In all honesty

The closest I can see Belkar getting to romance is rape, and if that happens I will hate him.

[Tilian]

http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h87/osiris32/BxV-1.jpg

See? Look what you made me do!:smallmad:


(:smallbiggrin:)


Caaaaaaan you feeeeeel the loooooooove toniiiiiiiiiight?
Soooomething soooooomething somethiiiing soooomethiiiiiiiing?

Is there any hope for some torrid overly-angst-ridden Miko/Belkar love? (complete with horrible poetry written to the side!)

[Shattersnap]

Well, it would be funny if Miko and Belkar hooked up. They would wind up killing eachother, which I do not consider Miko's death to be any sort of tragety. But as we all know, Belkar prefers whores. Thats the way it will be unfortunately...

[The Dirge]

I voted for the whores becasue that is down Belkars alley.

[Ceska]

Although I fear I'll suffer quite a lot afterwards, how's number one different from number four in the poll? :smalltongue:

[meep]

I voted for the whores becasue that is down Belkars alley.

Down his alley, huh.

That sounds about right.

[Pentegarn]

I went with "Belkar prefers whores" because it amused me :smallbiggrin:

[karen451]

Awesome picture h v! The levitation spell to overcome their difference in size category is a nice touch.

[Duke of URL]

Caaaaaaan you feeeeeel the loooooooove toniiiiiiiiiight?
Soooomething soooooomething somethiiiing soooomethiiiiiiiing?

"The peace the evening brings."

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go slit my wrists because I knew that without having to look it up.

[Silferdrake]

http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h87/osiris32/BxV-1.jpg

See? Look what you made me do!:smallmad:


(:smallbiggrin:)

Argh, now I have to go and wash my brain in acid... (Nice job by the way).

[Green Bean]

Is there any hope for some torrid overly-angst-ridden Miko/Belkar love? (complete with horrible poetry written to the side!)

Well, it's not angst ridden, but I found it in my Photobucket, so...

http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h87/osiris32/ebonyandivory.png

Sometimes I wonder why I make these things. Then I realize that it's all just to mess with the Belkar fanclub. :smallbiggrin:

[SteveMB]

Alright... Xykon+Belkar just replaced Vaarsavius+Belkar on my list of disturbing images. Ugghhh... the only thing worse would be Thog+Belkar...
Don't invoke what you can't banish....

[Green Bean]

Alright... Xykon+Belkar just replaced Vaarsavius+Belkar on my list of disturbing images. Ugghhh... the only thing worse would be Thog+Belkar...

Hey, remember Internet rule #101: No matter how disgusting you find a pairing of two fictional characters, there will always be one that is worse.

[Krellen]

This whole topic is as ridiculous as it is revolting.

[Hephaestus]

Shojo's cat...

[archon_huskie]

I totally agreewith that. belkar having some other than homicidal relation would be...against his psychotic character,I´d say. Only if...well, if he found a chick that enjoys killing as much as he does, which I doubt

Miko enjoys killing.

[Tokeloshe]

I voted other because, Belkar's love interest is clearly...

Belkar.

[That Lanky Bugger]

Alright, so on my to-do list there's:

~ Belkar and Miko
~ Belkar and Sabine
~ Belkar and Xykon
~ Belkar and Thog
~ Belkar and Kitty

Additionally, I've got an extra "special" surprise for you all. You all should know better than to post topics like these where the avatar-makers lurk.

Edit: The list is done. Go to the next page to see it all!

[kpenguin]

Arrgh.. if you make the one with Thog... to quote the little love machine himself:
:belkar: "Please cast blindness on me"

[Marius]

I don't think that "romantic" is the word you want to use with Belkar.

[Green Bean]

Arrgh.. if you make the one with Thog... to quote the little love machine himself:
:belkar: "Please cast blindness on me"

No, I have my limits.

[Bosswald]

It's Hookers all the way. What was the first thing he did after escaping prison in Origin of the PCs? Hooker threesome!

:belkar: It's sunny out, fate has rightly freed me from incarceration, and the smell of fresh human blood fills my nostrils. Life can't possibly get better than this!

<signpost> WHORES: 2-for-1 sale!

:belkar: I stand corrected.

[elliott20]

That there is PRECISELY the reason Miko has my vote. After all, I don't think I'm the only one who sensed some chemistry going on between the two during their epic battle, am I? ::wink, wink::
some couples use BDSM to spice up their relationship. Mike and Belkar? they're just a lot more hardcore about it.

[kialos]

I think Miko is way too jaded to be into the halfling. It'd make the whole conflict with Miko losing her paladinhood a joke, thought it might not be that bad. It would tear apart the tension with her character and make everything seem too perfect.

[That Lanky Bugger]

No, I have my limits.

I don't. Have you seen that Mind Flayer in the man-thong? That's my work. I imagine there'll be some hot Orc on Halfling action when I get home.


some couples use BDSM to spice up their relationship. Mike and Belkar? they're just a lot more hardcore about it.

"Did you ever know that you're my hero?"

Seriously. This is going to make the damned picture about ten times better. Though this does raise the question... Who's going to be the Dom and who's going to be the Sub? Miko's got that whole "Punish the wicked" thing going on, but I can't see Belkar being anything that requires submissiveness.

[Jannex]

Seriously. This is going to make the damned picture about ten times better. Though this does raise the question... Who's going to be the Dom and who's going to be the Sub? Miko's got that whole "Punish the wicked" thing going on, but I can't see Belkar being anything that requires submissiveness.

Oh, Belkar's definitely the Dom. Miko has enough paladin-martyr-complex to qualify as a masochistic streak, I think.

...Why, oh why, am I taking part in this conversation?

[Alex Kidd]

I don't. Have you seen that Mind Flayer in the man-thong? That's my work. I imagine there'll be some hot Orc on Halfling action when I get home.



"Did you ever know that you're my hero?"

Seriously. This is going to make the damned picture about ten times better. Though this does raise the question... Who's going to be the Dom and who's going to be the Sub? Miko's got that whole "Punish the wicked" thing going on, but I can't see Belkar being anything that requires submissiveness.

Both'll be the dom, they'll have a pile of tortured and/or dead hobgoblins, zombies, Azure City guards and/or V under them.

[elliott20]

Because we revel in rolling in the muck.

I'll bet Xykon will be scrying closely then.

[Alex Kidd]

Oh, Belkar's definitely the Dom. Miko has enough paladin-martyr-complex to qualify as a masochistic streak, I think.

:miko: I NEED PENANCE!

As do we all now.


...Why, oh why, am I taking part in this conversation?

Because it's awesome.

[Green Bean]

Seriously. This is going to make the damned picture about ten times better. Though this does raise the question... Who's going to be the Dom and who's going to be the Sub? Miko's got that whole "Punish the wicked" thing going on, but I can't see Belkar being anything that requires submissiveness.

It doesn't require his submissiveness. Remember the size modifier to grapple checks...

(Wait, why am I doing this?)

[elliott20]

It doesn't require his submissiveness. Remember the size modifier to grapple checks...

(Wait, why am I doing this?)
and remember how windstriker was able to quickly pin Belkar in the first fight?

Well, maybe he can help out and join the fun too!

[Alex Kidd]

You've just gone and seen Harry Potter ****ing horses haven't you?

And really Miko's boinking Belkar, there's no atonement for that. So no Windstriker, thankfully. That's sick even for this thread.

[elliott20]

Hey, just trying to up the bar is all.

[That Lanky Bugger]

And really Miko's boinking Belkar, there's no atonement for that. So no Windstriker, thankfully. That's sick even for this thread.

But how can we be sure?

I propose testing! For science! And by the time we're done, ALL of our brains will require a tasty mix of bleach and acid.

[Alex Kidd]

But how can we be sure?

Fire, fire makes everything sure.

Now I suggest we get off this bestiality track before Miko comes in and whips err "smites" all our asses.

[elliott20]

the proper term is "bump uglies", not "smite evil"!

wait....

[That Lanky Bugger]

And so it begins.

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/LankyBugger3/MikoWBelkar.png"Evil will be punished, you naughty, naughty boy."

I decided I'd start with something tame. Relatively.

Next is Belkar and Thog.


Both'll be the dom, they'll have a pile of tortured and/or dead hobgoblins, zombies, Azure City guards and/or V under them.

Or maybe V is feeling lonely?

[Mr Wizard]

Roy's Sister, Julia.

If only to make Roy feel extremely uncomfortable.

[kpenguin]

Nah, Julia would think that Belkar was a loser at best... until he started killing the competition.

[Demented]

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/LankyBugger3/MikoWBelkar.png"Evil will be punished, you naughty, naughty boy."


Bwahahahahah.
All she needs is a chainmail bikini and plenty of leather.

[That Lanky Bugger]

Belkar and Thog:

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/LankyBugger3/BelkarThog.png"Good slaughter, buddy."

Couldn't quite bring myself to make them kiss.

Belkar and Mister Scruffy:

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/LankyBugger3/BelkarScruffy.png

Belkar and Sabine:

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/LankyBugger3/BelkarSabine.png

I think that pretty much takes care of it.

[Jannex]

You've just gone and seen Harry Potter ****ing horses haven't you?

Oh yeah, the actor was in a production of Equus, wasn't he?

...And we are stopping that train of thought before it leaves the station. I don't even wanna know where it was going. Bad brain, no cookie.

And now, on to the topic...

Because discussions of sex are always improved by the addition of tentacles, how about Belkar/Banjhulu? :smallbiggrin:

[kpenguin]

Because discussions of sex are always improved by the addition of tentacles, how about Belkar/Banjhulu? :smallbiggrin:

Or better yet, Belkar/Fluumph or Belkar/Mind Flayer?

[Raistlin1040]

Whores all the way.

[Jannex]

Or better yet, Belkar/Fluumph or Belkar/Mind Flayer?

True, though pairing Belkar with a hand puppet has amusing masturbatory overtones.

[kpenguin]

True, though pairing Belkar with a hand puppet has amusing masturbatory overtones.

Well, with a mind flayer's tentacles being used usually to bring things into the mouth...

[That Lanky Bugger]

Belkar and Mindflayer, coming right up!

I think I might resurrect the banana hammock Mindflayer, below, for this one.


http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f194/ThatLankyBugger/mindflayerspeedo.gif

[Setra]

It's going to take at least a Wish, or Miracle to remove these images from my mind.

[Shattersnap]

I love this thread you guys.

[Alex Kidd]

Agreed, now let's get Belkar and Miko domming V avvied just to make not even brain bleach effective. People will beg for the mindflayers.

You reckon a gimp mask could shut V up? I don't.

[That Lanky Bugger]

You reckon a gimp mask could shut V up? I don't.

We shall try!

But first...

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/LankyBugger3/BelkarMindFlayer.png

You all take 3d6 SAN damage.

Edit: Done my list!

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/LankyBugger3/BelkarXykon.png

You may as well make it 5d6 SAN damage.

[Tilian]

Well, it's not angst ridden, but I found it in my Photobucket, so...

http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h87/osiris32/ebonyandivory.png

Sometimes I wonder why I make these things. Then I realize that it's all just to mess with the Belkar fanclub. :smallbiggrin:

And truly it is a noble calling!

That does it, I'm so going to have to make a series of animated Miko/Belkar gifs. A Lady and the Tramp spaghetti scene knock-off is a certainty.

[Demented]

It only encourages the Belkar fanclub. They LOVE that stuff.

[Obsidian Blade]

This is one of the most hilarious threads I've seen. As for my opinion, go with Belkar/V. I seriously had a dream about them together. It was.... well frankly, it was disturbing. And V had long hair.

I do think with lots of work, Belkar could be capable of love. It would be a very unstable relationship though. But not in the strip. I like the romance, but it's time to get off that paticular subject. I mean, we've had enough Haley/Elan angst to fill up the rest of the strip, though I'm glad they finally got together. But...going off topic.

I await more disturbing/funny pictures!

[Green Bean]

Belkar and Mister Scruffy:

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/LankyBugger3/BelkarScruffy.png


Boy, Belkar's really going to need to wash his hair...

[NecroPaladin]

Oddly enough I'd say V; he/she by far the most likely love interest because of the love/hate thing, and even when halfed because V might be a man, the probability is still probably the largest.

And whores...are not "Romantic Interests."

[Tilian]

I hold this thread entirely responsible for my being unable to remove from my mind the image of Belkar and Vaarsuvius snuggling by a fireplace and discussing their mutual love for Judy Garland.


It only encourages the Belkar fanclub. They LOVE that stuff.

It's kind of a warped relationship between the two groups, isn't it?

Kind of like Belkar X Anyone.

[Tilian]

Ever since you've fallen
I've been falling for you
http://img354.imageshack.us/img354/6127/mikobelkarfy2.gif

[Bluelantern]

If V. Is female (and I believe he is) I think Belkar you end up in love with him, considering that she is married that would cause some problems, but they could come with some sort of "Elves are polygamus" thing =)

But Miko+Belkar is a close second.

[Green Bean]

Ever since you've fallen
I've been falling for you
http://img354.imageshack.us/img354/6127/mikobelkarfy2.gif


Awesome :smallbiggrin:

[elliott20]

this is first time I'm so glad that my work blocks all images from being viewed.

[Fox]

Whores definitevily.

Don't forget the "Hate and lust" theory of Vaarsuvius! Miko was in the category of Hate!

But maybe something will happen and she will be put in the category of lust... BUT MIKO WILL NEVER LOVE BELKAR!! NEVER!!!!

Ya heard me? :smalltongue:

[Duke of URL]

Whores definitevily.

Don't forget the "Hate and lust" theory of Vaarsuvius! Miko was in the category of Hate!

But maybe something will happen and she will be put in the category of lust... BUT MIKO WILL NEVER LOVE BELKAR!! NEVER!!!!

Ya heard me? :smalltongue:

Probably... but "Blackguard" Miko may choose to seduce Belkar as part of her revenge plan against the OotS. Besides, I doubt either of the two characters are capable of love -- dirty, nasty lust, on the other hand...

[That Lanky Bugger]

this is first time I'm so glad that my work blocks all images from being viewed.

The thing with that is that your curiousity will bring you back to this thread when you get home. And then your sanity shall be mine.

And Tilian, that is awesome.

[Jazzvader]

Belkar needs whores and so do I!!
WHORES!! WHERE ARE MY WHORES!!!AHH There you are Betty, Ashley and Eleanor.



EDIT-I am of course joking.

[Sewer_Bandito]

I voted other. And by other I mean Belkar's animal companion...when he gets one :smallbiggrin:

[elliott20]

The thing with that is that your curiousity will bring you back to this thread when you get home. And then your sanity shall be mine.

And Tilian, that is awesome.
the sad part is, you're totally right in that regard.

[TheAnimal]

:belkar: <3 :miko:
AAaieeeee!
My eyes! Sweet gods, my poor, useless eyes!

[SteveMB]

And so it begins.

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/LankyBugger3/MikoWBelkar.png"Evil will be punished, you naughty, naughty boy."

I need to go Soverign Glue my eyelids shut now....

[Iranon]

Isn't it obvious?

Roy and Xykon will kill one another in the final apocalyptic battle. Belkar and Vaarsuvius will celebrate the victory by making mad passionate love right on the final gate, with the Monster in the Dark joining in.
The essence of the Snarl, Roy's and Xykon's lingering souls will enter the fruit of the union, which will be born shrouded in shadow and with a pointy hat, with the power to wield love in an unprecedented way.

HADOKEN!

[Pantler]

I *knew* I should've read Necronomicon rather than this thread... It would leave my mind in a less devastated state.
Plus now I'll have to find someone with a printer capable of printing Tilian's drawing in poster size. It's brilliant :biggrin:
Edit: Just saw the picture below. *Faints*

[Jannex]

And so it begins.

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/LankyBugger3/MikoWBelkar.png"Evil will be punished, you naughty, naughty boy."

I decided I'd start with something tame. Relatively.

Next is Belkar and Thog.

Or maybe V is feeling lonely?

You've inspired me, lankybugger. Of course, as I see it, Belkar is the "top," so that yielded this rendition:

http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f47/tigerdreams/BelkarMount3-av.gif

"You know, this 'special mount' class ability ain't so bad after all..."

[Thella]

...
i have never so desparately needed a scalding hot shower...i will never feel clean again

[Finwe]

At least they'd be the same size. Anyway, I put up a poll.


But they'd be from different animal kingdoms...

[That Lanky Bugger]

...
i have never so desparately needed a scalding hot shower...i will never feel clean again

You're welcome.

[sethdarkwater]

I voted other. Why. Becuase it would be hilarious if he endend up oogling some nice smalltown girl that keeps him at bay with a broom.

[Elliot Kane]

Belkar is already madly & deeply in love - with Belkar. There is room for no other in his heart.

Physically, he's gonna stick to whores.

[Professor Tanhauser]

Maybe we could imagine some 3 ways here, with miko, balkar and V. I mean, with belkar and miko, V's gender wouldn't really matter as much, since there's one of each already involved.

Plus the good thing is that V could cast endurance spells as needed. This could be espcially vital if V is in fact female. I mean, imagine poor belkar after about the third round with each gasping, panting, hyperventilating, clutching his chest and sputtering out "For the love of whatever gods you worship, that's six times! No more, please, I beg you, I'm only flesh and blood!"

V smiles coyly, raised her hand and says "Rabbit's stamina."

Belkar suddenly jumps up and says "Question: Eh, what's up, doc? Answer: Me!"

[That Lanky Bugger]

Maybe we could imagine some 3 ways here, with miko, balkar and V. I mean, with belkar and miko, V's gender wouldn't really matter as much, since there's one of each already involved.

Plus the good thing is that V could cast endurance spells as needed. This could be espcially vital if V is in fact female. I mean, imagine poor belkar after about the third round with each gasping, panting, hyperventilating, clutching his chest and sputtering out "For the love of whatever gods you worship, that's six times! No more, please, I beg you, I'm only flesh and blood!"

V smiles coyly, raised her hand and says "Rabbit's stamina."

Belkar suddenly jumps up and says "Question: Eh, what's up, doc? Answer: Me!"

We've already discussed Miko and Belkar domming V, but you sir or madam have taken this down to strangely disturbing levels. I salute you!

[Professor Tanhauser]

We've already discussed Miko and Belkar domming V, but you sir or madam have taken this down to strangely disturbing levels. I salute you!

"Taken is down to strangely disturbing levels"? I must disagree most heartedly. I do belive I have raised it to new and astonishing heights of strange and disturbing!

[Professor Tanhauser]

...
i have never so desparately needed a scalding hot shower...i will never feel clean again

Wait till you read my posts in thei thread.:smallbiggrin:

[Professor Tanhauser]

And so it begins.

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/LankyBugger3/MikoWBelkar.png"Evil will be punished, you naughty, naughty boy."

I decided I'd start with something tame. Relatively.

Next is Belkar and Thog.



Or maybe V is feeling lonely?

Awsomely warped and twisted picture, I truly salute you. I wish I could show you some of my more disturbing graphic work, but not on this forum I'm afraid.

Anyway, one minor suggestion: It might kick it up just a little of miko had her tongue up in the corner of her mouth as it licking her lips in antici.......pation.

Oh, yeah, after telling belkar that evil will be punished she should have added "...and good will be served."

[Professor Tanhauser]

Whores definitevily.

Don't forget the "Hate and lust" theory of Vaarsuvius! Miko was in the category of Hate!

But maybe something will happen and she will be put in the category of lust... BUT MIKO WILL NEVER LOVE BELKAR!! NEVER!!!!

Ya heard me? :smalltongue:
Oh come on. Once miko sees belkar in action against xykons' legions, heroically and valiantly slashing gobbo after gobbo to shreds, fearlessly hurling himself into limitless legions of them with a wild laugh, how could she possibly resist him?

After seeing belkar decimate xykon's legions, she's going to make him hers if she has to bind and gag him.

[malakim2099]

:thog: No! Halflings have cooties!!!

These are some of the most perverse and twisted posts ever.


I LOVE IT!!!!! :nale:

[Grasilich]

Ever since you've fallen
I've been falling for you
http://img354.imageshack.us/img354/6127/mikobelkarfy2.gif


I'd just like to say that this one is awesome. Well done!

[Tilian]

I *knew* I should've read Necronomicon rather than this thread... It would leave my mind in a less devastated state.
Plus now I'll have to find someone with a printer capable of printing Tilian's drawing in poster size. It's brilliant :biggrin:


I'll try and make a larger version for you when I get home. I kind of rushed the transfer from Inkscape to Gimp.(I had forgotten just how much work making these little guys really is)

Also, stop killing my mind Lankybugger and Jannex! It just makes me want more can't take much more!

As for Miko and Belkar domming V, what about V domming both instead?

[Dawnstrider_Moogle]

Ever since you've fallen
I've been falling for you
http://img354.imageshack.us/img354/6127/mikobelkarfy2.gif


Wow, you could put this image on a card and sell it for valentine's day.

Or...the giant could, at least.

[Professor Tanhauser]

I'll try and make a larger version for you when I get home. I kind of rushed the transfer from Inkscape to Gimp.(I had forgotten just how much work making these little guys really is)

Also, stop killing my mind Lankybugger and Jannex! It just makes me want more can't take much more!

As for Miko and Belkar domming V, what about V domming both instead?

Well, belkar could never be a dom. In order to be a dom, you gotta wear BOOTS. High, black, leather boots that look evil but feel sooooo good.

A dom with bare, hairy feet? Naaaaaah.

[Professor Tanhauser]

I'll try and make a larger version for you when I get home. I kind of rushed the transfer from Inkscape to Gimp.(I had forgotten just how much work making these little guys really is)

Also, stop killing my mind Lankybugger and Jannex! It just makes me want more can't take much more!

As for Miko and Belkar domming V, what about V domming both instead?

How would V look in high black boots? Also do mages get to use whips? I mean, a dom who can't get any skill ranks in whip just won't cut it.....

[Medri]

Ok, first off I'd like to say that Belkar is a whores for life member. BUT, if he was to hook up with someone already in the comic then they would have to meet certain criteria.

#1. Like killing, a lot. - I don't mean that just has killed, I mean kills folks because maybe they have a theory that if you get enough blood to pool together in one place you can rule the world.
#2. Morally ambiguous. Basically that goes with rule one. No religious nuts that pick and choose who die though. I think that's what put Miko out of the running. Until lately, she wasn't flying off the handle killing everyone in sight. I think she'll go back to that sooner or later. Plus, she has a horse that Belkar wants to skin and feast on its still beating heart. That would complicate things.
#3 Has to be hot. Lets face it, Belkars about as deep as a three day old puddle in the Sahara. He has to want to get it on for the right reason, namely to brag/disgust his friends with tales of large chests bar wenches.

Miko, though the obvious choice, I don't think meets criteria 2. NOW, has anyone considered that maybe Sabine. She has all the qualities. She loves to kill, she has sex with everyone, and she is super hot and evil. When Nale kicks off, and he will, sooner or later, she will have to find a new mortal boyfriend. She's probably much, much older then Nale anyway, so this has probably happened already once or twice.

I vote for Sabine. Mostly because of the piercings.

[Professor Tanhauser]

I think sabine is too lawful for belkar.

[Green Bean]

You've inspired me, lankybugger. Of course, as I see it, Belkar is the "top," so that yielded this rendition:

http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f47/tigerdreams/BelkarMount3-av.gif

"You know, this 'special mount' class ability ain't so bad after all..."

Did you ever know that you're my hero? You're everything I wish I could be.

:smallbiggrin:

[The Wanderer]

This thread is entirely too funny. :smallbiggrin: I've spent much of the last 20 minutes or so randomly having to clap my hand over my mouth to keep from waking up my roomie with incredulous laughter.

And it's probably a bad sign of all the corrupting that's been done to me in the past few years that nothing except the idea of the mindflayer in a thong and Miko's horse joining in the action disturbed me even in the slightest, isn't it? (Well, maybe there was just a touch of it with Xykon too...)

Oh well. Let the good times roll! :smallbiggrin:

:belkar: + :miko: + :vaarsuvius: ftw! :smallwink:

[TheAnimal]

OK, after reading this thread I know what V was talking about when (s)he claimed to know "secrets that would drive you mad".
May the Gods preserve me from ever settng eyes on a belkar / V slash fanfic.

[lumberofdabeast]

BEST. TOPIC. EVER. Seriously, I've only been here for a week, and I'm already loving this place.

Also, my vote goes to Belkar/Latte freedom fighter. Belkar/Latte forever!

[Tilian]

How would V look in high black boots? Also do mages get to use whips? I mean, a dom who can't get any skill ranks in whip just won't cut it.....

Who needs whips when you have her library of spells? :smallwink:


May the Gods preserve me from ever settng eyes on a belkar / V slash fanfic.

You've got a 50-50 chance, you know.

[lumberofdabeast]

Well, that's it. Now I HAVE to write a Belkar/V fic. I've already decided on the final line.

Even though I'm still fixated on the Belkar/Latte thing.

"Drink me harder, Belkie! DRINK ME!"

[Ariko]

Hm..on the one hand Belkar+Thog is entirely feasable (they have so much in common, they even both like small furry animals!). On the other..a cat person and a dog person? Pshh!

[DarkPhilosopher]

It will be Mr. Scruffy. I mean, there will be a lot of Wild... "Emphaty" between those two.

[fwiffo]

Well, that's it. Now I HAVE to write a Belkar/V fic. I've already decided on the final line.

Is it this line?

:vaarsuvius: Anything for you, sweet thing. Let's do it quickly this time - that's the last Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion I have today.

[Setra]

Is it this line?

:vaarsuvius: Anything for you, sweet thing. Let's do it quickly this time - that's the last Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion I have today.

AAAAAAARRRGHH

MY BRIAN! I are naver speek good agia.n

[lumberofdabeast]

No, mine's even better. Though that may or may not get used in a followup.

[Tilian]

Here ya go, Pantler. (spoilered so it won't break tables)

http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/9697/mikobelkarbigzo8.png

[DarkPhilosopher]

*Gasp*... It must be the closing of Valentine's Day... It's becoming sicker and sicker!

[That Lanky Bugger]

I'll try and make a larger version for you when I get home. I kind of rushed the transfer from Inkscape to Gimp.(I had forgotten just how much work making these little guys really is)

Also, stop killing my mind Lankybugger and Jannex! It just makes me want more can't take much more!

As for Miko and Belkar domming V, what about V domming both instead?

Evan's Pulsating Tentacles of Forced Intrusion?

Oh, that's inspiration. I'm firing up MS Paint as soon as I get home!

[dr4Kan]

:smalleek: There's not enough acid in the world for my brain to soak in after reading this thread...:mad: ...how much sanity damage have i taken now...there's this thread...that one thread at the 8-Bit forums...

Edit: I voted whores (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0154.html)...

[DarkPhilosopher]

:smalleek: There's not enough acid in the world for my brain to soak in after reading this thread...:mad: ...how much sanity damage have i taken now...there's this thread...that one thread at the 8-Bit forums...

If you don't mind me asking... what thread? :smallbiggrin:

[Duke of URL]

You've inspired me, lankybugger. Of course, as I see it, Belkar is the "top," so that yielded this rendition:

http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f47/tigerdreams/BelkarMount3-av.gif

"You know, this 'special mount' class ability ain't so bad after all..."

It'll certainly inspire Belkar to take ranks in Ride at the next level up.

[Tilian]

It'll certainly inspire Belkar to take ranks in Ride at the next level up.


Seriously. And I'm honestly surprised nobody has made a "riding dog" joke yet.

[dr4Kan]

If you don't mind me asking... what thread? The first 2-3 pages are okay, but then...yaoi (http://forum.nuklearpower.com/showthread.php?t=12979)

Of course...it is kinda tame at first...but wait until you read 50+ pages in one night...
Because when I begin reading something...I read until the end...then shun all future updates of that thread...

[DarkPhilosopher]

No! My Eyes! Poor Red Mage!

[dr4Kan]

No! My Eyes! Poor Red Mage!

I did warn about the sanity damage didn't I?...

[DarkPhilosopher]

Well, at least next time Cthulhu appears I will be ready.

[dr4Kan]

Well, at least next time Cthulhu appears I will be ready.
:smallamused: lol...

Unfortunately..i now must stab you for having me find that hated link...
:smallfurious: *stabs DarkPhilosopher...*
:smallsmile: No hard feelings right?...

[DarkPhilosopher]

*Clot, clot, clot, my bleeding arteries*

Now, back on topic... Belkar has to spend all that money on something. And for someone so small, he has high expectations of women. For the SoF&I fans out there, imagine him as a Tyrion... XD Now that's crafting a disturbing image. :smalltongue:

And... from his side, he wants only someone that he can say :belkar: "Hot Chick"

Maybe after all, Miko & Belkar isn't so... out of place.

[Hyrael]

I think you are giving Belkar's character too little credit. He is capable of feeling emotions more complex than hate and lust, he just cant recognise them.

Remember when Roy first met Miko? another lawful-good fighter type who happened to be hot? Imagine that story, told again, but with A pair of Psychotic Chaotic Evil Halflings. But this time, they do get along, even though neither party can quite understand this "strange desire NOT to kill someone"
:belkar:Hey Roy, is it love when you care about someone beyond just wanting to bone her?
:roy:Nah. Must be some weird Halfling emotion.

[DarkPhilosopher]

You know... THAT remembers me the conversation between Zoidberg and Fry on "Why be a crustacean in love" XD.

I think he... likes Miko. It's not only hate/lust. I mean, remember the pursuit? When she stood helpless on the ground?

[kpenguin]

man, when I started this thread I expected a few laughs and giggles, but this has gone from moderately amusing to outrageously funny. Keep up the great work. I keep a bucket of acid next to my computer just for this thread.

[Ariko]

The first 2-3 pages are okay, but then...yaoi (http://forum.nuklearpower.com/showthread.php?t=12979)

Of course...it is kinda tame at first...but wait until you read 50+ pages in one night...
Because when I begin reading something...I read until the end...then shun all future updates of that thread...

That thread just makes me giggle!

[dr4Kan]

That thread just makes me giggle!

True...some of it is amusing...but also deeply disturbing...

[That Lanky Bugger]

You know, I can only imagine Rich stumbling into this thread. I can just picture the poor man staring in horror as he blindly gropes for the ban-hammer... XD

[Stormkitten]

So... I just joined the forums, came to have a look around, and I found this.

*giggles insanely*

[Professor Tanhauser]

You know, I can only imagine Rich stumbling into this thread. I can just picture the poor man staring in horror as he blindly gropes for the ban-hammer... XD

Oh,go ban yerself. :smallbiggrin: Actually we're not talking anything worse than has been in or implied in the comic itself. I mean, at least we're not making period jokes, a'la "the red knight".

Not all mods are pompous hypocrites who ban people without just cause. I mean, this place isn't rpg.net or the sjgames forums.

We're keeping the language clean as a whistle, and not making any flames. It looks like as long as that's done no one has a problem.

[Professor Tanhauser]

Speaking of perversions, I'm kinda surprised that belkar managed not to make a crack about seeing miko in chains.

[That Lanky Bugger]

Yeah, I know. I'm just teasing. It's just another funny image to picture.

[Zaverix]

Belkar has no romantic interests. He just like whores... duh.

[nybbler]

Speaking of perversions, I'm kinda surprised that belkar managed not to make a crack about seeing miko in chains.

Hey, the Giant's gotta save something for the bonus comics!

Most disturbing: Belkar and Miko having an ice cream soda together *shudder*.

Compared to that, the bondage drawings were quite tame!

[That Lanky Bugger]

Hey, the Giant's gotta save something for the bonus comics!

Most disturbing: Belkar and Miko having an ice cream soda together *shudder*.

Compared to that, the bondage drawings were quite tame!

Oh, wholesome bothers you?


http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/LankyBugger3/Maternal.png
A radiant mother-to-be alongside her man.

[Professor Tanhauser]

Oh, wholesome bothers you?


http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/LankyBugger3/Maternal.png
A radiant mother-to-be alongside her man.

Hmm, do you think a halfling baby would be big enough to make miko's belly swell?

[That Lanky Bugger]

Hmm, do you think a halfling baby would be big enough to make miko's belly swell?


Presumably she's asian, so she's probably pretty small to begin with. Besides, it's not a halfling baby... It's a threequarterling.

[Professor Tanhauser]

Yeah, I was just thinking how tiny halfling babies must be. Has there been any printed matertial on that? As small as halfling women are, a regular sized baby is pretty unfeasible....

[Professor Tanhauser]

Oh, wholesome bothers you?


http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/LankyBugger3/Maternal.png
A radiant mother-to-be alongside her man.

BTW, has anyone contemplated suicide after seeing this? :smallbiggrin:

[EvilAndProud]

BTW, has anyone contemplated suicide after seeing this? :smallbiggrin:

I just did. ;_; That's heresy against Belkar's name!!! :smallfurious:

[Professor Tanhauser]

I was wondering something: If belkar ever did manage to sire an offspring, do you think he'd be a responsible parent or not?

[Jannex]

I was wondering something: If belkar ever did manage to sire an offspring, do you think he'd be a responsible parent or not?

You mean, like, remembering to feed and/or not kill said spawnling? I think Belkar's current lack of animal companion is a pretty good hint on that score...

[Pax_Chi]

Romance hinges on the idea that, not only does the person you love deserve to live, but the idea that you could concievably put aside your own wants and desires in an effort to ensure their happiness, putting their happiness before your own.

Which are pretty alien concepts to Belkar. Trying to explain that to him would net you only repeated "Huh" and "I don't get it" responses.

[Tilian]

Hmm, do you think a halfling baby would be big enough to make miko's belly swell?

I think half-halfling triplets might. :belkar:

Motherhood :miko: = love

[Pax_Chi]

Oh, wholesome bothers you?


http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/LankyBugger3/Maternal.png
A radiant mother-to-be alongside her man.

That's just disturbing on so many levels that I think it just caused me to loose SAN.

[TheAnimal]

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/LankyBugger3/Maternal.png
Aaaaaaaaaaah! It hurts! Make it go away!

[Pantler]

Tilian - thank you so much! I'll have someone make me a T-shirt with that :biggrin:
The Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion idea is so perverse.
But at the same time, it is somewhat hot.
Huh. Gotta check in the Book of Erotic Fantasy if a halfing-human crossbreed is possible. *pretends that his brain hasn't melted yet*

[Setra]

BTW, has anyone contemplated suicide after seeing this? :smallbiggrin:

I have! Ugh @_@

[Alex Kidd]

Oh, wholesome bothers you?


http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/LankyBugger3/Maternal.png
A radiant mother-to-be alongside her man.

*fails masculinity save* Awwww that's sooo cute!


You've inspired me, lankybugger. Of course, as I see it, Belkar is the "top," so that yielded this rendition:http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f47/tigerdreams/BelkarMount3-av.gif



"You know, this 'special mount' class ability ain't so bad after all..."

And that, particularly with the caption is the funniest thing I've seen all week.

[Tussy the Druid]

Ale and whores, mostly the ale.

Yup. Although I'd say mostly whores.

I will never be able to look at Belkar and Miko the same again.

[Tilian]

I only have two things to say:

1. I'm really glad I gave up on the idea of animated gifs. Damn.

2. I am so sorry...



They tell me that you can no longer Smite Evil
So why is it I am smitten with you?


http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/9007/dinnerfortwobigfinalqe5.png

[OOTS_Rules.]

It Burns!!! It Burns!!!

[DarkPhilosopher]

The Pain! My Eyes!

[Pantler]

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! It's... UNBELIEVABLE!! Bravo, bravo, bravissimo! Now I'm positive you have taken Craft Epic Disturbing Mental Image :biggrin:

[TheAnimal]

They tell me that you can no longer Smite Evil
So why is it I am smitten with you?


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! *runs away waving arms and screaming*

[DarkPhilosopher]

Can you make it an animated gif? It will blow everyone's mind!

[Tilian]

Can you make it an animated gif? It will blow everyone's mind!

I still have a long way to go before I'm good enough to pull it off well. That was the original plan for that strip, but it turned out to be lot more work than I expected.

I'm still trying to find the best(ie: easiest) way to do animated OotS-style characters though, and I have at least one idea I can only do animated.

[Spiky]

He has indicated that whores would be the choice, so that is what I voted.

But for actual OOTS characters, Miko is the easy choice. The opposite of love is indifference. They are hardly indifferent. Hate can transmute to love and back exceedingly quickly.

[Tilian]

They tell me you've been naughty

When you just need someone nice

http://img116.imageshack.us/img116/8564/presental4.png

[Pantler]

All the time I was an opponent of the whole "let's make another fanclub" thing.
...Screw it.
I hereby found Tilian's fanclub. Because her art is worth it.
Now excuse me, I've got to go howl to the moon after seeing this one.

[Grasilich]

Tilian, you are amazing.

[TheAnimal]

*opens head, takes out brain, puts brain to soak in a vat of lye*
That christmas stuff is just too much! :smalleek:

[Professor Tanhauser]

You mean, like, remembering to feed and/or not kill said spawnling? I think Belkar's current lack of animal companion is a pretty good hint on that score...

But even belkar had to have parents. So he might remember what parents do.

[Bluelantern]

They tell me you've been naughty


When you just need someone nice

http://img116.imageshack.us/img116/8564/presental4.png



Needs to be transformed in a wallpaper

[Flyingsponge]

*snap*
Them's ma Brain Meats

[Erloas]

Well I stopped by to send a link of this thread to my brother. Forgot about the Erfworld update. It was pretty good, but that last picture by Tilian was so much better. It was all done without a single word too.

[Kayura]

What if the fallen Miko became a whore?
If it became common knowledge that she had turned on her liege she wouldn't be able to get work as a mercenary. So she'd have to make a living somehow.
:miko: hey short stuff, looking for some action.... By the twelve Gods it's YOU!!
:belkar: So, how much?
:miko: You're kidding, right?
:belkar: How much?
:miko: 50 gp
:belkar: This is SO worth it.

[DarkPhilosopher]

Then it would be Pretty Woman all over again... but with Belkar.

[the_tick_rules]

i think the poll percentage speak for themelves.

[Planewalker]

Hermione Granger!

[Teh_Jakester]

...Thanks for that....
You must have rolled a natural 20 on Craft (Disturbing Mental Image) Skill...
*Pukes*

[Shadow of the Sun]

That was cool- watching these Belkarites claw out there eyes is awesome. I am a master at surviving against disturbing stuff- William Shatner in a speedo doesn't even phase me.

*Pulls up a chair and some popcorn waiting for some even more awesome pictures (some really are quite cute)*

[Demented]

What if the fallen Miko became a whore?
If it became common knowledge that she had turned on her liege she wouldn't be able to get work as a mercenary. So she'd have to make a living somehow.
:miko: hey short stuff, looking for some action.... By the twelve Gods it's YOU!!
:belkar: So, how much?
:miko: You're kidding, right?
:belkar: How much?
:miko: 50 gp
:belkar: This is SO worth it.

*uncontrollable laughter echoes from the back of the theater, intermittently interrupted by the occasional desperate gasp for breath*

[PaladinFreak]

Oh god...

Quoting Roy, "Excuse me, I need to go soak my brain in acid now. Maybe my ears too."

[Zeal]

*twitch*

The pictures...the pictures...they're everywhere...

[Shadow of the Sun]

A-ha! I have figured out why Belkar wanted Miko to fall! She was in love with her powers, and now they dumped her. And here comes Belkar, on the rebound. Pleasant dreams.

[Tilian]

All the time I was an opponent of the whole "let's make another fanclub" thing.
...Screw it.
I hereby found Tilian's fanclub. Because her art is worth it.
Now excuse me, I've got to go howl to the moon after seeing this one.

Why not make it a general Belkar Romance thread club? After all, h_v started this mess! I was just following his and Lankybugger's example! That's my story and I'm sticking to it! I'm impressionable!

Unrated version, with scenes not shown in theaters.


Revenge is a dish best served cold
But I would rather just skip to dessert

http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/4507/directorscutyw4.png

[Shadow of the Sun]

WE ARE NOT WORTHY! WE ARE NOT WORTHY!

Dear god you rock.

[Professor Tanhauser]

That was cool- watching these Belkarites claw out there eyes is awesome. I am a master at surviving against disturbing stuff- William Shatner in a speedo doesn't even phase me.



How about Rush Limbaugh in a speedo?

(Waits with smile on face and ear cocked, listening for screams of horror...)

[Jannex]

How about Rush Limbaugh in a speedo?

(Waits with smile on face and ear cocked, listening for screams of horror...)

You are a bad man. BAD MAN!

[Shadow of the Sun]

Slight distaste, nothing more. I have been well trained against these. My kinky female friend (not a girl friend. She is dating my best friend) is a master at creating these, better than any of you put together.

[Professor Tanhauser]

Slight distaste, nothing more. I have been well trained against these. My kinky female friend (not a girl friend. She is dating my best friend) is a master at creating these, better than any of you put together.


Oh really? How about this one: Ann Coulter doing it with Newt Gingrich, who is wearing a hitler moustache and hairdo.

[Shadow of the Sun]

Nope, still nothing. My brain has developed a protective coating you see. I am nearly immune. Not even yaoi can phase me!

[Professor Tanhauser]

Nope, still nothing. My brain has developed a protective coating you see. I am nearly immune. Not even yaoi can phase me!

Well, I'd love to keep trying but it's possible that your shock point exceeds the allowable limits of this board.

[Shadow of the Sun]

Quite probably. I am incredibly durable mentally and physically. Before I became a vegetarian my favourite snack was a hamburger, bought from MacDonalds that had been kept in a refrigerator for 12 hours, eaten cold.

[NecroPaladin]

Well, I voted V...but...er...

Y'know...the almost prenatural obsession with death always actually made me think, deep down, that more than anything, Xykon would be Belkar's type. No, not that the big X is a man...but...lemme think...of how to phrase this, um...

Well, I'm not gonna name any dead female characters off the bat because I want to keep my head disturbing mental image free.

You go figure out what I mean. It's a rare but very, um, immoral fetish.

Honestly though, I should have mentioned that reading my post would bestow 1d3+1 points of taint [depravity] at the START of my comments.

*winces and shivers in one fluid motion*

[mikeejimbo]

:miko: hey short stuff, looking for some action.... By the twelve Gods it's YOU!!
:belkar: So, how much?
:miko: You're kidding, right?
:belkar: How much?
:miko: 50 gp
:belkar: This is SO worth it.

That seems rather in character for Belkar, too. :smalleek:

[NecroPaladin]

That seems rather in character for Belkar, too. :smalleek:

Ah, twisted satisfaction. But if Miko died...

[Alex Kidd]

I think I postualted a death knight Miko and Belkar romance some time ago. Complete with disgust from Xykon and Roy.

[NecroPaladin]

I think I postualted a death knight Miko and Belkar romance so me time ago. Complete with disgust from Xykon and Roy.

Ah! Another Believer!

[Jannex]

All the talk of Speedos put this image in my head. So, to be fair, I thought I'd put it in all of your heads too. Psychological trauma loves company.

Honey-bunch, come here and rub some of that on me... I don't want to burn!

http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f47/tigerdreams/BelkarBeach.jpg

[Tilian]

All the talk of Speedos put this image in my head. So, to be fair, I thought I'd put it in all of your heads too. Psychological trauma loves company.

http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f47/tigerdreams/BelkarBeach.jpg

Oh wow... That hair! That bulge! I can't look away!

It's grotesque and gorgeous.



Honey-bunch, come here and rub some of that on me... I don't want to burn!



:belkar: Need me to lay on hands, honey?

[NecroPaladin]

All the talk of Speedos put this image in my head. So, to be fair, I thought I'd put it in all of your heads too. Psychological trauma loves company.

http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f47/tigerdreams/BelkarBeach.jpg

Well, we all know what they say about guys with hairy feet... *nudge nudge*

[TheAnimal]

A-ha! I have figured out why Belkar wanted Miko to fall! She was in love with her powers, and now they dumped her. And here comes Belkar, on the rebound. Pleasant dreams.
Y'know, rebound relationships never work out in the long term. When the reboundee (is that a real word?) has regenerated enough of their self-esteem, they go on to find someone who will dump them again.

@Jannex Congrats... Another natural 20 on Craft (Disturbing mental image).

[Chaszmyr]

I actually find the idea of Belkar and Miko falling for each other quite sweet...

:smalleek:

*checks temperature*

[TheAnimal]

OK, I'll roll for disturbing mental image myself...

This particular one involves Belkar, a belt of gender changing, and Roy.

[Grady]

You've inspired me, lankybugger. Of course, as I see it, Belkar is the "top," so that yielded this rendition:

http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f47/tigerdreams/BelkarMount3-av.gif

"You know, this 'special mount' class ability ain't so bad after all..."
Oh my god the quote made me laugh out loud so hard.

The whole belkar + miko thing is getting a bit creepy though..

[Pantler]

Why not make it a general Belkar Romance thread club? After all, h_v started this mess! I was just following his and Lankybugger's example! That's my story and I'm sticking to it! I'm impressionable!

So be it. Let you all brave souls never stop in the noble work of making magnificent images that shatter the weak minds and amaze the connoisseurs.

[Shadow of the Sun]

Should we change the title giving it a NSFHE warning?

[That Lanky Bugger]

Nah, the surprise is the best part!

[Caractacus]

Thank you all. At last, a thread that isn't like the others.

I mean, at all. :smalltongue:

The images are all finely-crafted educational aids to more precisely allow the forum members to visualise the various ins and outs of the issue and the positions the protagonists may adopt in any of these current affairs.

[A pune, or play on words]

I just hope to the Twelve Gods that I can sleep tonight...

[Teh_Jakester]

It's called Pun, not Pune.

[Caractacus]

It's called Pun, not Pune.

Quoting Pratchett.


'Tis but an joke. :smallcool:

[NecroPaladin]

I have a sneaking and twisted suspicion that somehow, in some method or another, the demon roaches are going to get in on this. And it won't be pretty.

[Teh_Jakester]

:roach: and :belkar: sittin' in a tree...
:smalltongue:

[Pax_Chi]

Most
Disturbing
Thread
EVER

[TheAnimal]

^Ya rly.

But hey, what else could something combining "Belkar" and "romance" be than a mind-wrenching abomination?

[totalnerduk]

I love this thread. I love it. Yes, I've taken hits to my sanity, but as a future cultist of the Great Dread Lord Banjulhu, I need that particular branch of XP anyways.

I wish I had the talent to draw Belkar receiving the attention of Windstriker. I really wish I had the talent. But no, it's locked inside my own head, where it can't hurt people.

Such a pity.

Then again, there's also the uber-disturbing idea of Belkar and Roy's sister that nobody's drawn yet. I'd do that if I could.

In addition, I'm sure that Belkar would sleep with Elan if he thought that it would take away Roy's precious mental stability.

Or how about Belkar enjoying the attention that only Durkon could give him (being the same height)?

[Professor Tanhauser]

Actually the main reason we're so obsessed with belkar getting laid is that we're curious to see what it does to his mood. I mean, can you imagine belkar after some multiple treasure type O's? Sheesh, he might be nice and pleasant for a while, much to the shock of the universe. (Hey, a shock to the fabric of reality that big might drive the snarl back into it's hole for a while...)

Plus imagine belkar after the break up. Oh man, belkar to the nth degree. Who would survive the horror?

[Skippy the Dire]

I still think Belkar should hook up with the waitress working her way through Ninja school. They both know food, and Belkar couldn't find her after she graduates to get stabbity - so she'll be perfectly safe!

[Tilian]

I actually find the idea of Belkar and Miko falling for each other quite sweet...

:smalleek:

*checks temperature*

That's because it is! Sweet, pure, and true!

Nothing could ever come between them.

Part 1 of 3
http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/6417/walkfinalhs0.png

[Pax_Chi]

Still, Belkar's own thoughts on the matter:

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0223.html

[kpenguin]

Bah, V is a married elf and (s)he doesn't seem the type to have an affair. Wonder if we'll ever meet his/her mate.

[Renegade Paladin]

That there is PRECISELY the reason Miko has my vote. After all, I don't think I'm the only one who sensed some chemistry going on between the two during their epic battle, am I? ::wink, wink::
Yes. Yes, I think you are.

[Tilian]

Bah, V is a married elf and (s)he doesn't seem the type to have an affair.

I don't know, there's a number of things we're foggy about when it comes to Elven culture in the OotSiverse...

Part 2 of 3
http://img479.imageshack.us/img479/2774/lunchfinalvg6.png

[Josh Inno]

Belkar kills Nale. Sabine and Belkar fight. Sabine transforms into a hot halfling in order to seduce Belkar out of killing her. They live evily ever after (until slain by heros lead by Roy.

[Pantler]

Gah, I'm dumb. I didn't get at the first time what this reminded me of: the scene in the restaurant from Matrix Reloaded!

Look there, at that woman. My gods, just look at her. Affecting everyone around her, so obvious, so fallen, so boring. But wait... Watch - you see, I have sent her a Telempathic Projection, a very special spell. I wrote it myself. It starts so simply, each word of the invocation creating a new effect, just like poetry. First, a rush... heat... her heart flutters. She does not understand why - is it the drink? No. What is it then, what is the reason? And soon it does not matter, soon the why and the reason are gone, and all that matters is the feeling itself.

And later...


She didn't kiss your lips, V.

[felinoel]

I voted other because, Belkar's love interest is clearly...

Belkar.
i voted for V because it humors me, but Toke brings up a good point.....


man, when I started this thread I expected a few laughs and giggles, but this has gone from moderately amusing to outrageously funny. Keep up the great work. I keep a bucket of acid next to my computer just for this thread.
XD thats what you get for starting such threads!

[Tilian]

Gah, I'm dumb. I didn't get at the first time what this reminded me of: the scene in the restaurant from Matrix Reloaded!



Come on, you make it sound so dirty! :smalltongue:

[That Lanky Bugger]

Tilian, either I'm going to have to step up my disturbance game and start producing comics or I've got to hand over my Craft Disturbing Mental Images crown over to you... these comics are gold. The upcoming conclusion... troubles me.

[Teh_Jakester]

...So true...

[Tilian]

Part 3 of 3

http://img250.imageshack.us/img250/4291/revealfinaleo8.png


Tilian, either I'm going to have to step up my disturbance game and start producing comics or I've got to hand over my Craft Disturbing Mental Images crown over to you... these comics are gold. The upcoming conclusion... troubles me.

Haha, thanks. I think I'm going to try and make my way back towards wholesome-disturbing single pics. Comics are a lot of work.(I'm not sure I'm done with BelMiV though)

[kpenguin]

My eyes! My eyes! Oh Twelve Gods, she rolled too high on her Craft check!

[Teh_Jakester]

Part 3 of 3

http://img250.imageshack.us/img250/4291/revealfinaleo8.png





THAT was Bisexual.
Miko's Bi, and Belkar's a diplomat.
I solute him.

[Bluelantern]

I can't stop thinking that Belkar looks like if his a "Half-Snake" or something O.o even more disturbing.

[Aimbot]

This just reafirms to me that nearly all male nerds have the "Girls-only-like-jerks" complex.