[IC] Housetrapped

[lord pringle]

====> Enter Name.

Your name is ADAM DRESDEN. After much anxious waiting, you have finally come into possession of your copy of the SBURB BETA, and you can't remember being more excited in months. Your fascination with GAMING in general is by far the most significant INTEREST you have, alongside your passion for FANTASY and SCIENCE FICTION literature of all kinds. Nearly every shelf in your BEDROOM is crammed with an assortment of NOVELS, CD CASES, and RPG RULEBOOKS, with other essential paraphernalia--including your prized set of DICE and REPLICA MAGIC WAND--mixed in for variety. Despite it being pretty much completely useless as an actual weapon, you made the decision to apply the WAND to your STRIFE SPECIBUS because it's cool. Besides, you hate STRIFE anyway--violence scares you too much. More and more often recently, you have found yourself feeling TRAPPED in the boredom of real life and wishing for EXCITEMENT and ADVENTURE, but for now, the escapism of your GAMES and GENRE FICTION will have to suffice.

What will you do?
Your name is Dan Ahlstrom and boy do you like MUSIC. You are a guitarist EXTRAORDINAIRE and overall COOL DUDE, despite what your familial experiences would indicate. You also only have a small post, due to your player not writing an intro for you.
====>
Your computer buzzes. You're getting a message from your mobster friend.
Your name is VERA COSTAS and aren't people fun? You absolutely adore CLASSIC ROCK, specifically, FOREIGNER, PINK FLOYD, QUEEN, THE EAGLES, and THE BEATLES. Never been one for the erratic pace and screeching tones of the sounds of the modern day. Your desk is adorned with your collection of SEASHELLS FROM THE SEASHORE and no, you don't know anyone named Sally. You love your collection of small blades, hence why your strife specibus is DAGGERKIND. Never been in too many scraps, but a girl's got to know how to handle herself. You enjoy playing MIND GAMES with assorted OTHERS, though it's for the best that you keep it low-key. Can't have anyone catching on. You do enjoy having friends, and human contact, and you admire your OLDER BROTHER. He works several jobs, pays the rent, keeps to himself but he'll talk about his day and yours. He's a real HELL OF A GUY. Though, because he works so much, you're often left alone, so VIDEO GAMES are an source of ENTERTAINMENT for you. In fact, your recently ordered yourself a copy of the new big thing, by the name of SBURB. Should be getting here any minute now.
====>
You hear the sound of a car pulling up. Could it be the MAILMAN with your copy of the BETA?
Your name is CERN GEVANT. You are a CLEVER young lad, if not a tad STUCK-UP. You have a variety of SKILLS and TRIVIAL KNOWLEDGE, but you have little patience for that which you are not innately skilled at. You are strongly OPINIONATED, but LAZY and are not above relying on WIKIPEDIA to carry you through your assignments. You are actually rather LONELY, but your proud and arrogant nature RUBS PEOPLE THE WRONG WAY. You have a secret talent for COOKING, if you can be bothered. You wish you knew how COMPUTER PROGRAMMING worked, but you have absolutely no idea.
====>
You have been impatiently waiting for your copy of the SBURB beta to arrive, when you see the mail truck pull up at the front of your CRAMPED APARTMENT BUILDING. What will you do?
You are MAX CELERITAS and you want things done NOW, and by now you mean YESTERDAY. You are an avid consumer of VIDEOGAMES, ANIME AND COMIC BOOKS, particularly of the ACTION VARIETY. The faster the better. You thus have a love of SPEED and EXPLORATION, exploring wherever you can, PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY or SPIRITUALLY in order to KILL THE TIME. You have compiled numerous eclectic INTERESTS in order to get rid of the all the time you have your hands, venturing into PHILOSOPHY, SCIENCE, MEDIA, BIKING and so on to hopefully quench your impatience and destroy the TEDIUM that haunts you. In many ways you are a DILETTANTE created from the vast amounts of BOREDOM that has plagued you constantly. However some things have stuck to you: you love to read SCI-FI novels about the FUTURE and how humanity will TAKE CONTROL OF THEIR OWN DESTINY, optimistically going where no man has gone before! However you also have many books upon POST-APOCALYPTIC TALES that caution that the pride of humanity will destroy its FUTURE.

As a man of the future, you wield a LIGHTSABER as your weapon! Your current one is just a toy of course, green, in loving memory of THE LATE QUI-GON JINN. May the Force be with his soul. You also sometimes get out history books and ARGUE WITH HISTORICAL FIGURES sometimes, which always make you end up KICKING THE BOOKS IN ANGER. You secretly treasure your CUTE FROG PLUSH which you tell NO ONE about, it is your best non-online friend. In order to kill more time you have recently ordered the SBURB game which everyone else seems to getting, so why not try to kill some time more socially for a change?
====>
Your copy of the beta is, INFURIATINGLY, a few days late. Most of your friends have not gotten their copies eithere, fortunately, but you can't afford to waste any more TIME.
What will you do?
Your name is MAIYU FIRIKUDA, and you are a CHOSEN DUELIST. Well, you certainly like to think you are anyway. You live in JAPAN, as can be guessed by your name already, and you are an EXTREME TCG OTAKU. Games of all kinds interest you, but your primary fascination by far is indeed CARD GAMES. You live in a TYPICAL JAPANESE HOME which probably wouldn't look so TYPICAL to all of your foreigner friends online. You also partake in things like watching ANIME and playing VIDEO GAMES, granted at least 90% of those are ANIME ABOUT CARD GAMES and VIDEO GAMES ABOUT CARD GAMES. You've considered it a duty to try and succeed your grandpa as a GRAND ENTERTAINMENT DUELMASTER who AWES CROWDS the world over with CROWD-AWING CARD-RELATED SPECTACLES. Unfortunately for the both of you, that title hasn't been and never will be an actual thing that EXISTS. That sure won't stop you from trying, though.
====>
Today, however, you are taking a NAP. As usual, you are dreaming of a GOLDEN CITY full of strange WHITE BUG PEOPLE. Your stay in your tower is interrupted by a loud banging from the other side of the door. It could almost be described as the sound of BREAKING A DOOR DOWN. What will you do?

[Lord Raziere]

====> Max: Go on epic journey for Beta
Yes! You will go on an epic journey for the Beta! Taking your (Toy) LIGHTSABER and questing across the land to gather your COMPANIONS, all the while facing many fearful CHALLENGES, defeating many FEARSOME FOE's and making many HARD MORAL DECISIONS, hard moral decisions, that may possibly involve A MORALITY BAR with two polar extremes and every decision being simplified into a mathematical addition to one side or the other, while you talk to your companions around you and solve their problems with a PEP-TALK, until you finally find it and defeat the EVIL VILLAIN THAT STOLE IT and finally triumphant and play the SBURB BETA!!!

At least, if this was a Roleplaying Video Game made by Bioware. Unfortunately this is real life and even in your impatience you are far too sensible for that sort of rubbish! You instead ZOOM over to your LAPTOP and check the packages progress on the website you ordered it from, clicking as fast you can to see where your package supposedly is, after all this is the digital age. tracking such things is a trivial endeavor with the technology civilization currently possesses. If of course, if it still says what it said last time, you try to search for their number so you can angrily call them up and ask where in the world your Sburb Beta is!

[Al Capwn]

==>Dan, curse player's lack of foresight, then check computer.

[Nettlekid]

==>Cern: Descend.

Well, not right away. The mail woman will take a little while with each tenant's mail, and you'd prefer not having to interact with her and make halfhearted pleasantries when really, you want to grab your game and head back into your dimly lit room.

After five minutes or so, you expect the coast will be clear enough. You CAPTCHALOGUE the mailbox key from the kitchen table but leave the apartment key, lock your apartment door while it's open so it won't close while you're downstairs, and without bothering to put on shoes head down the three flights to the building's lobby and the mailboxes on the side.

[FuryofAngels]

Vera: Jump for joy

F*** yes. Hell f***ing yes.
You proceed to do the jolliest jig you ever did. Several of the seashells on your desk watch with vapid stares as the googly eyes glued to them bob around with the tremors produced by your merriment. Though it soon becomes passé, and you're ready to move on to the more important thing. That of course, being the beta.

Grabbing a seashell from your desk switches the seashell for the KEY RING, containing both the keys to your front door and the communal mailbox out on the street. With that, you head out the door with a pleased smirk adorning your face.

==>Vera: Exit the Room

[Moonbeam Funk]

==> Maiyu: PIROUETTE OFF THE HANDLE INTO ACTION.

You do the only COMPLETELY SENSIBLE THING a DUELIST like yourself can do in a threatening situation like that. You leap to your feet and activate your DUEL DISK, causing it to shuffle the TRADING CARDS within before turning your full attention to the door. You're pretty sure whoever is on the other side doesn't want to face the wrath of the all-powerful GOD CARDS that you don't actually own and never have owned. Well you'll make them WISH you had those cards that you don't have. They will rue the day that you did not get those cards. Before you know it, you lost track of what you were actually thinking about there. The point is whoever is breaking in is just asking for trouble, and you are ready to answer that troubling question with trouble.

[lord pringle]

====>Vera: Exit the Room
You perform a textbook LASS SCAMPER down to your mailbox. Your wild skedaddling gets you there, but not before your BRO does. He looks at you, with his FRANTIC EYES, and asks you how your day was.
====>Maiyu: Watch opening door
The door slides open, revealing a TALL BLACK CARAPACIAN. He is wearing a DIAMOND INSIGNIA on his tunic and is holding an UZI. He shouts at you to get down, so he can do this the easy way.
====>Max: Check shipping date
You go to check the shipping date an- Ooh! Adam is pestering you.
====>Dan: Check computer
You check your computer to see that you are being pestered by Reno.

[Al Capwn]

You check your computer to see that you are being pestered by Reno.

==>Dan, return Reno's vicious pester assault
YES! We will FIGHT THEM on the PESTERCHUM. For this will be our FINEST HOUR. GOD SAVE THE QUEEN. HEIL PESTER. Can YOU hear the PESTER ring? My name is Antonia PESTERCHUM, you killed my SICK BEAT'S sick RYTHIM. Prepare to DIE.

[FuryofAngels]

You perform a textbook LASS SCAMPER down to your mailbox. Your wild skedaddling gets you there, but not before your BRO does. He looks at you, with his FRANTIC EYES, and asks you how your day was.

Vera: Greet Your Brother

You shoot him a wide, toothy smile. Hi big bro! You proceed to relay to him the events of the morning, and of your excitement about the coming day! It's gonna be a big one, you can already tell and you're sure he remembers that it is, too. You've only told him about it, what, about 70 TIMES in the last week. But he needed to know. It was gonna be today. The big day.

Before retrieving your copies of the Sburb beta, though, you remind him that he should stay inside today. He'll want to be here for this.

==>Vera: Wave Goodbye and Ascend the Stairs!!!

[Lord Raziere]

====> Respond to Pestering

Oh its your net-bro Adam. wonder what he wants.

dungeonMastery began pestering ScienceSpeedster

DM: Hey Max, you there?
SS: yes! yes! and this utterly infuriating!
DM: Oh?
SS: yes! the game is still not here!
DM: Oh damn, that was just what I was gonna ask about :/
SS: I know right!? this is freaking late! late late late!
SS: frack Thing*
DM: Ugh really? I thought it was supposed to be delivered like three days ago for everybody.
SS: gah! three days.....hrm, man, my clock is broke. its always breaking....but still three days, do YOU have it?
DM: Yeah, I just got mine FINALLY.
DM: I was all excited, but I thought you'd have yours by now...
SS: aaaaaaaagh! so unfair. just. you get the speedy lane while I'm stuck here in turtlesville.
DM: Damn, yeah, that does kinda suck.
SS: just wallowing here among all these turtles all...
DM: Where the **** do all these turtles even come from.
SS: going "hi" in slo-mo.
DM: WE JUST DON'T KNOW.
SS: and I'm like "just telling me what you want already!"
SS: frack *tell
DM: So do you want me to wait for you to get yours?
DM: I know we said we were gonna play it...
SS: still, three days man, I know I'm bad at time, but come on,....
DM: I feel your pain bro :/
SS: um, I dunno man, I think we should all wait for it? to come for all of us?
SS: personally I'm tired of waiting.
SS: always waiting. all the time.
DM: Yeah, I mean it would be better with everybody.
DM: It's just gonna be hard to hold off now that I have it literally on my desk right this second...
SS: but then again my dad is.....not all that attentive to me. maybe he has it and just forgot that I'm in this house, as usual, and I need to go and get it.
DM: ****, man, I don't know whether to be sad about that comment or happy that you might get to join in on the fun today :/
SS: freaking father! when you will be attentive! gah! I dunno man, I just dunno.
DM: He needs to get his head out of the sand >:(
SS: I've just been killing time, and am bored bored bored. though I don't think you should stop on my account.
DM: Well how about this.
DM: I'll check in with everybody else and see if they have their copies.
DM: If enough of us have them to make it worth starting up, we'll do it and you can join in later.
DM: Sound good?
SS: I mean, I can probably join at any time, I just want to do it NOW! argh! its always this way! always waiting and pacing and killing time... yeah...
DM: It'd be nice if they'd explain more about how stuff like this works before they release a freaking open beta.
SS: and y'know, I'm finally starting something to kill some time with friends for once and...lookie there!
SS: no! freaking! game!
SS: yeah, this game is weird.
SS: like, why is it even called Sburb?
DM: I know! Gotta be the least publicity I've ever seen anything get!
SS: is it like, urban?
DM: I don't freaking know, dude >_<
SS: sb-urban? suburban? the ****?
SS: A poorly spelled game about suburbs?
DM: Pretty much the only thing that's really been released about it is that GameBro review, which doesn't even really count...
DM: I think they mentioned it was about houses or some ****, so maybe?
SS: dude Gamebro is ****. it didn't even stay on topic.
DM: I said it didn't really count.
SS: yeah :P
DM: Entertainment journalism at its finest XD
SS: wait wrong smiley, it should be like (puke)
DM: Perfect.
DM: A finer encapsulation of the point will seldom be found.
SS: I mean, I heard they gave things like Skyrim a 2 or something....because of...
SS: like not enough rocket launchers??
DM: Well now I'm glad I didn't read that one >_<
SS: I don't know what they're all about. how they are even a company boggles my mind.
DM: I'm pretty sure it's just one guy operating out of somebody's basement.
SS: like. are they all on drugs or something?
DM: Or at least I pray there isn't more than one person that stupid in North America.
SS: there probably is, Adam, there probably is. stupidity isn't just inevitable, it comes in numbers.
DM: Ugh.
SS: the greatest stupidities are always in large numbers.
DM: I should probably go do something constructive before thinking about this starts causing brain damage.
SS: yeah.
DM: I'm gonna go check in with Maiyu and see if she's gotten hers.
SS: kay, don't let that girl steal your colors.
DM: She already plays every freaking color in every game on the planet, I doubt she'd have much interest in any of mine XD
SS: yes, I know thats being superstitious, but come on dude.... its freaking how that happened...
SS: freaking weird*
DM: Uh huh >_>
DM: Well yeah, Imma go do that now I guess.
DM: Let me know when you get your copy so I can finally be actually excited about it :D
SS: kay cya, I'm gonna go kill some time in my room.....whatever that means in my room, with my clock always broken...
DM: Later!


Whelp, that was unfair. your best net-bro has right now. the very thought that you will have to wait to play with him makes you ever more impatient. You look over at your CLOCK, it is BROKEN, as usual, you can never keep a clock for long, because every time it rings you whack it with your lightsaber out of pure reaction when you wake up. Its really annoying, and you have arrived late to school more than once because you can never keep track of when is when.

====> Check the window.

Nope! the window has curtains over them. You don't like looking out your window. The sight is one you prefer not to look at. Consequently, you have little idea of what actual day it is either, if Adam says its been three days since its supposed to arrive, you just have to trust him, with your sense of time being out of whack, like, always. and calendars? hah. you don't talk about calendars.

====> Kill some time.

You go and ZOOM over to your bookcase and grab three random books from the history section and lay them out. You do this so fast that you don't even know which three books you have grabbed. You do this so you can best improvise your ARGUMENTS against the LEGENDS OF HISTORY on the fly. As you look down to see what historical figures you'll be arguing against today, you have the distinct nagging feeling that you forgotten something. Oh well. Your sure it'll come to you soon.

[Moonbeam Funk]

You've never felt like doing anything THE EASY WAY, and you sure as heck aren't going to do anything THE EASY WAY for what's obviously a villain from the SHADOW REALM. It was then it occurred to you that the SHADOW REALM is an invention of an English dub, so you're not sure how you really would've thought of that when you're natively Japanese. Actually, no that didn't occur to you at all. That'd be too meta. Instead you drew a hand of FIVE CHILDREN'S TRADING CARDS. You tell the clearly evil non-human holding what for some reason doesn't appear to be a DUEL DISK that you aren't giving him the aforementioned EASY WAY. If he wants to take you down, he'll have to defeat you in a CHILDREN'S CARD GAME, because that's how all reasonable people settle their disputes. You briefly consider telling him to draw his last PATHETIC CHILDREN'S TRADING CARD so you can finish him, but realize that would be horrible timing. That DRAMATIC LINE isn't until later, and it's supposed to be the RICH AND INFLUENTIAL RIVAL who says it, not the DASHING YOUNG CARD-PLAYING PROTAGONIST. Regardless, you have to admit you've always wanted to say that line anyway.

[lord pringle]

====> Dan: Pester Reno
allergicGanster[AG] began pestering narcissisticCastrator[NC]
AG: Hey, did you get it yet?
NC: huh
AG: You know, that swell game everyone has been murmuring about
NC: oh sburb
NC: i told you ive had a disk for ages
AG: Yeah, but the game has two disks!
NC: huh
NC: uh
NC: ive only got one
AG: You probably can't play an act or something. Which disk did youse get your mitts on?
NC: iunno
NC: ive not looked at it yet
NC: and uh
NC: due to the incident with my parents on tuesday
NC: i dont think ill be exiting this room for a while
AG: oh no! Are you okay?
AG: do you need somebody to ruff someone else up?
NC: im okay
NC: but im not leaving my room
AG: I think you should join us for just one game.
NC: sorry
NC: anyway
NC: yeah i was going to play
NC: vera convinced me
AG: Ugh, don't do it for her, do it for me.
AG: Don't trust her.
AG: She's evil.
NC: but shes my friend reno
NC: and you told me to talk to her ages ago
NC: back uh
NC: yknow
NC: before i was dan
AG: I know, but she's going to turn on us. She's the mole.
AG: it's her.
[COLOR="#800080"]NC: the what?
AG: You know! The mole! She's going to sell us out to the coppers!
AG: these are metaphor coppers.
NC: reno there are no coppers
NC: and there are no metaphor coppers either
NC: WE ARE THE METAPHOR COPPERS
NC: HERE TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN METAPHOR AND SIMILY
AG: I refuse to sit here and be lectured on figures of speech and be called a policeman.
AG: I won't stand for it!
NC: damnit ren
NC: damnit
NC: i cant even type
NC: that is the level of damnit going on here
AG: What are you cowed by me? Have I intimidated you into doing the right thing?
NC: no you have made me fall out of my chair
NC: laughing my ass off
AG: Laughing isn't the appropriate response!
NC: reno
AG: Yeah?
NC: your being funny right now
NC: ACCEPT IT
AG You're being the funny guy here. Mobsters are cool and awesome. Not clowns. Do I look like a clown to you?
NC: ive not seen a pic of you dude :P
AG: I'll send you a selfie.
*Insert sprite here*
NC: well damn
NC: now i gotta do it too >:c
AG: Hehe.
NC: you are adorable tho <:
*insert sprite heaaaar)
AG: D'aww, you too!
NC: gaze upon my magnificent headphones
NC: ive gotta be smokin hot
NC: the guitarist in a boy band is always the hottest :P
AG: fine, but you aren't as hot as max.
NC: ooooooooh
NC: someone has a cruuuuuuuuuuush
NC: <:
NC: i will write the best slash fiction
AG: I will admit to my bestie that I may have a small crush on the cute little energetic guy.
NC: so adorable
NC: so adorable
AG: no need for slash fic though. We barely talk.
NC: its okay, dan will make everything better
NC: quick, to the pesterchum!
NC: wait im already on that
AG: God no!
NC: awwwwww
NC: but then you could play matchmaker for me and maiyu
NC: and i wouldnt owe you things :c
AG: I like to do things at my own leisure. :p
AG: Ah, crap, my sister is home. I'll be back.
NC: seeya
allergicGangster Ceased pestering narcissisticCastrator
====> Cern: Check Mail
You look through your mail and... waaaait a second. SERIOUS BUISNESS MAGAZINE and BLACK INCHES MAGAZINE, this isn't your mail! It appears that the mailman has delivered your mail to your NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR!
====> Max: Kill some time
You waste about 4 hours on this nonsense.
====> Vera: Ascend!
You ascend back to your room. It looks like Reno is pestering you.
====> Maiyu: STRIFE!
The Draconian Dignitary tries to point his uzi at you, before being stunned with laughter at your AWESOME POSING and PAJAMAS.

[Lord Raziere]

====> Stop wasting time
Oh alright. You of course have no idea how much time has passed, and have been just going at it like crazy, ending with of course, kicking the books in frustration as your point is out-argued. Darn it, you win again Descartes! But mark my words, I will be back to disprove your moral philosophy again!

You should go actually try and see if you can get that Beta. IF its held by your Father at all. You don't actually know, but hey its a possibility and if you don't check, you'll get nowhere.

====>
You kick open your door and then roll into the hallway, springing up in a cool pose with your (Toy) LIGHTSABER unsheathed. You check both ways. Coast is clear. You go in the direction of the stairs and begin acrobatically jumping about and evading imaginary laser-lines like you see in spy films. This is of course completely unnecessary, but you long ago became bored with going down halls in a straight line, since you just tend to ZOOM down them anyways.

You have come to the STAIRS. Oh no. your not WALKING down those. You know better. You will instead do something far more awesome, Sylladex willing.

====>
You check your Sylladex! Its of course THE QUIZ MODUS, because you have a lot of knowledge gained from your distracted scatterbrained learning, and you must constantly test it to remain sharp. To take anything out of it, you must first answer the question on the card. The question is often but not always related to the item, but sometimes the questions are just plain weird and refer to things that you have no idea about, your theory is that its not yet time for you to answer such questions, but who really knows how sylladexes work? You select the SKATEBOARD card and turn it over, what question does it hold for you this time?

[Amaril]

> Adam: pester Maiyu.

Looks like you'll need to see whether the rest of your CHUMS have gotten their hands on the BETA yet. You pull up your CHUMROLL and fire off a message to MAIYU. Hopefully she's around--the time difference makes it a little hard to get in touch sometimes, but the hour shouldn't be obscene there.

[Al Capwn]

====> Dan: Pester Reno
allergicGanster[AG] began pestering narcissisticCastrator[NC]
AG: Hey, did you get it yet?
NC: huh
AG: You know, that swell game everyone has been murmuring about
NC: oh sburb
NC: i told you ive had a disk for ages
AG: Yeah, but the game has two disks!
NC: huh
NC: uh
NC: ive only got one
AG: You probably can't play an act or something. Which disk did youse get your mitts on?
NC: iunno
NC: ive not looked at it yet
NC: and uh
NC: due to the incident with my parents on tuesday
NC: i dont think ill be exiting this room for a while
AG: oh no! Are you okay?
AG: do you need somebody to ruff someone else up?
NC: im okay
NC: but im not leaving my room
AG: I think you should join us for just one game.
NC: sorry
NC: anyway
NC: yeah i was going to play
NC: vera convinced me
AG: Ugh, don't do it for her, do it for me.
AG: Don't trust her.
AG: She's evil.
NC: but shes my friend reno
NC: and you told me to talk to her ages ago
NC: back uh
NC: yknow
NC: before i was dan
AG: I know, but she's going to turn on us. She's the mole.
AG: it's her.
[COLOR="#800080"]NC: the what?
AG: You know! The mole! She's going to sell us out to the coppers!
AG: these are metaphor coppers.
NC: reno there are no coppers
NC: and there are no metaphor coppers either
NC: WE ARE THE METAPHOR COPPERS
NC: HERE TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN METAPHOR AND SIMILY
AG: I refuse to sit here and be lectured on figures of speech and be called a policeman.
AG: I won't stand for it!
NC: damnit ren
NC: damnit
NC: i cant even type
NC: that is the level of damnit going on here
AG: What are you cowed by me? Have I intimidated you into doing the right thing?
NC: no you have made me fall out of my chair
NC: laughing my ass off
AG: Laughing isn't the appropriate response!
NC: reno
AG: Yeah?
NC: your being funny right now
NC: ACCEPT IT
AG You're being the funny guy here. Mobsters are cool and awesome. Not clowns. Do I look like a clown to you?
NC: ive not seen a pic of you dude :P
AG: I'll send you a selfie.
*Insert sprite here*
NC: well damn
NC: now i gotta do it too >:c
AG: Hehe.
NC: you are adorable tho <:
*insert sprite heaaaar)
AG: D'aww, you too!
NC: gaze upon my magnificent headphones
NC: ive gotta be smokin hot
NC: the guitarist in a boy band is always the hottest :P
AG: fine, but you aren't as hot as max.
NC: ooooooooh
NC: someone has a cruuuuuuuuuuush
NC: <:
NC: i will write the best slash fiction
AG: I will admit to my bestie that I may have a small crush on the cute little energetic guy.
NC: so adorable
NC: so adorable
AG: no need for slash fic though. We barely talk.
NC: its okay, dan will make everything better
NC: quick, to the pesterchum!
NC: wait im already on that
AG: God no!
NC: awwwwww
NC: but then you could play matchmaker for me and maiyu
NC: and i wouldnt owe you things :c
AG: I like to do things at my own leisure. :p
AG: Ah, crap, my sister is home. I'll be back.
NC: seeya
allergicGangster Ceased pestering narcissisticCastrator
====> Cern: Check Mail
You look through your mail and... waaaait a second. SERIOUS BUISNESS MAGAZINE and BLACK INCHES MAGAZINE, this isn't your mail! It appears that the mailman has delivered your mail to your NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR!
====> Max: Kill some time
You waste about 4 hours on this nonsense.
====> Vera: Ascend!
You ascend back to your room. It looks like Reno is pestering you.
====> Maiyu: STRIFE!
The Draconian Dignitary tries to point his uzi at you, before being stunned with laughter at your AWESOME POSING and PAJAMAS.


Dan: Check to make sure if door is still locked

[Nettlekid]

====> Cern: Check Mail
You look through your mail and... waaaait a second. SERIOUS BUSINESS MAGAZINE and BLACK INCHES MAGAZINE, this isn't your mail! It appears that the mailman has delivered your mail to your NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR!

==>Quietly voice discontentment.
You groan a little, and exhale sharply through your nose. How troublesome. You've not gotten to know the names of your fellow tenants nor really introduced yourself much at all, and it's a shame to break the streak on such an awkward note. If the mailman was still here you could ask them to correct their error, but because you waited they're gone. One step forward, two steps back.

==> Snoop a little.
You look through the magazines delivered to you as well as you can without leaving notice of having opened them. Unfortunately you don't have much knowledge of whatever business this SERIOUS BUSINESS MAGAZINE refers to. And you have even less idea of what this BLACK INCHES MAGAZINE is even about. Is it like cigarettes or something? There are magazines for everything.

==> Begrudgingly seek your precious mail.
You look at the label on the mail from your box to find the correct apartment number, and head over there. If they've already picked up the mail they'll have yours, and if they haven't then they can get it right now. You head over, find the right door, and knock on it.

[Moonbeam Funk]

====> Maiyu: STRIFE!
The Draconian Dignitary tries to point his uzi at you, before being stunned with laughter at your AWESOME POSING and PAJAMAS.
You're SLIGHTLY OFFENDED and are quick to point out that absolutely nothing is laughable about these PRETTY COOL PJS. Granted you would rather be wearing JUST ABOUT ANY OF YOUR OTHER OUTFITS in this particular situation. After checking your FIVE CHILDREN'S TRADING CARDS, you prepare to take this battle's FIRST MOVE.

...

Oh damn it you drew ZERO USEFUL MONSTERS to CALL FORTH. You probably should've seen that coming. Whatever, you just set a couple cards in your MAGIC MAGICKS AND TRAP MAGICKS AREA. That isn't the proper name, but sometimes you do this to dodge COPYRIGHT ATTACKS. Nothing ruins your fun quite like SUITS wailing on you with STUFFED BRIEFCASES while you're attempting to enjoy OVERDRAMATIC CARD GAMES.

You end your turn, having LOUDLY NARRATED your entire turn as follows:

DD: I'll go first then, DRAW!
DD: I set two cards!
DD: TURN END. Let's see what you've got!

Yes, it is completely necessary to always do that. Why even ask? This DUEL would be way too boring otherwise.

[FuryofAngels]

====> Vera: Ascend!
You ascend back to your room. It looks like Reno is pestering you.

==> Vera: Answer Chum
Oh? What's she want? Hopefully she has her game copy or is close to doing so, because you're dying to kick this off!

[lord pringle]

===>Max: Examine Card
Your question reads, "How many wheels does a skateboard have?"
...this is remarkably easy.
===> Adam: Check Chums
Maiyu appears to be offline. She's probably taking one of her LEGENDARY NAPS.
===>Cern: Knock
Your neighbors aren't home. They are NEVER HOME. This loneliness makes you question the universe, sometimes in a manner bordering on the solipsistic. You look outside into the busy hurly-burly of the city and come close to crying at the isolation shared by all of them.
You step on a spider and don't even care.
===> Maiyu: defend
The Draconian Dignitary pays no heed to your potential TRAPS and rushes in with his spear anyway.
===> Dan: Check to see if your door is still locked.
Your door is still locked tighter than the personality of an uptight neighbor in a nineties tweenaged sitcom. This is because yoy\ur door locks from the INSIDE.

[Lord Raziere]

====>
The answer is "Four" of course. No worries though, this is just a sample or demonstration if you will of what it does. Further questions will only be brought up when they are important to your adventures.

====> Pull wicked stunts off the hook
You take the skateboard and use it to GRIND down the banister of the spiral staircase with wild abandon, the speed at which you do so making your hair blow in the wind. Yes! This so awesome.

SS: YAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Then you finally land at the bottom while captchaloging your skateboard again, striking a cool pose while you do so. Hey say what will about this reckless behavior, at least you don't have to actually WALK down the stairs, and your not foolish enough to do. You were warned about the stairs, bro and you've taken that warning to heart. That and it allows you to do cool stunts like that, even if it took some crashes and bruises here and there to get it right. Getting back up to your room again is a different problem entirely and we will burn that bridge when we get to it.

====> Max: Examine downstairs room
What do you see?

[Al Capwn]

===> Dan: Check to see if your door is still locked.
Your door is still locked tighter than the personality of an uptight neighbor in a nineties tweenaged sitcom. This is because yoy\ur door locks from the INSIDE.

==>Dan: Open door.
You unlock and open your door, revealing the hall beyond.

==>Dan: Sneak down stairs
The stairs aren't particularly creaky, and you make it down without a problem. It's fairly dark, but you can still see light coming from under your Gramma's door, so it can't be too late. You are now in the living room, where various video game paraphernalia reside, along with the HUGE widescreen TV. You look around, and find the old mantelpiece under the TV with a whole bunch of pictures.

==>Dan: Be nostalgic
YES! That was your FIFTH BIRTHDAY. That was when you got your FIRST GUITAR. That day was AWESOME.
And that was when you went to the AQUARIUM! You saw DOLPHINS! It was AWESOME.

==>Dan: Be jovial about pictures
You start DANCING HAPPILY. These pictures have given you much JOY in seeing again.
Unfortunately, the JOY in seeing the new pictures is STRICKEN from you by your stomach growling.

==>Dan: FURIOUSLY GET FOOD
You FURIOUSLY PREPARE A CHEESE AND HAM SANDWICH! In your head you hear NOTHING but SICK GUITAR RIFFS! Your mind is a FLURRY of DAIRY PRODUCTS and DELICIOUS PIGFLESH!

==>Dan: Breath
Preparing food angrily is difficult work, you know. You take a breather.

==>Dan: PREPARE FOOD ANGRILIER!
THAT'S NOT A WORD! You continue your STORM of FOOD, getting the MAYONNAISE and BREAD! Eventually, you BLACK OUT from your FURIOUS SANDWICH CREATION!

==>Dan: Wake up
You wake back up from your strange blackout to find..... Oh dear.... That..... That's not humanly possible. How did you do that with bread and mayonnaise?

==>Dan: Clean up abomination of food
You shudder as you see the horrifying CARNAGE caused by mere DAIRY PRODUCTS and COOKED FLOUR. The HORRORS will NEVER be blotted out of your memory.

==>Dan: Make a sandwich
You decide to make a sandwich like a NORMAL INTELLIGENT HUMAN BEING this time! It works SPECTACULARLY.

==>Dan: Captchalog Sandwich
You CAPTHALOG the SANDWICH in your SYLLIDEX. Due to your CANDY BAG MODUS, the sandwich takes the form of a SMALL GREEN SPHERICAL CANDY! To RETRIEVE your sandwich, you must EAT THE CANDY! You don't even like candy though, so it's a pretty bad modus for you.

==>Dan: Go back to room, and hang out at computer with sandwich.
You return to your room and get out the SANDWICH from your SYLLIDEX by eating the GREEN SPHERICAL CANDY. It's a GROSS fake apple CHEWY CANDY, the WORST KIND. But then you have a DELICIOUS HAM and SWISS SANDWICH.

==>Dan: Eat sandwich, and check if Maiyu's online

[Moonbeam Funk]

DD: I activate my TRAP CARD-
DD: Scrap-Iron Scarecrow blocks your attack, then-
DD: Wait, crap.

This is not SCRAP-IRON SCARECROW. This is an ORDINARY STRAW SCARECROW. Your opponent is probably slightly baffled, but his advance was not impeded in any way. You're really not sure how or why you even had that with you to begin with.

DD: I'm really not sure how or why I even-
DD: Fine, then instead I'll stop your attack by discarding SWIFT SCARECROW from my hand!

This time an intended SCARECROW with METALLIC PROPERTIES appeared when you slid its card into the DUEL DISK'S GRAVEYARD CARD CEMETARY SLOT. That SCARECROW proceeded to FLIP THE **** OUT in front of the blackened creature, taking the spearing HEAD-ON like any TRUE MAN made out of METAL AND STRAW would.

[Amaril]

> Adam: Looks like Maiyu isn't online after all. Pester someone else instead.

You browse through your CHUMROLL to see who else is around. Hopefully MAIYU will show up soon so you won't have to start without her.

[FuryofAngels]

==> Vera: Answer Chum
Oh? What's she want? Hopefully she has her game copy or is close to doing so, because you're dying to kick this off!

-- allergicGangster [AG] began pestering anguisElixir [AE] --
AG: Hey! Is youse ready to play?
AE: ys!!!! the mail came just now and im stooooked, actually i ws bout to pester dan about it
AE: can u believe its finally here?!??!?!
AG: Maaaybe you shouldn't talk to him...
AG: he's a little upset today.
AE: y not
AE: o
AE: hun u talk like i dont know bout that bizniz
AE: dans my bestie of course i kno whats goin on with him
AG: I'm his closest compatriot! Not you.
AE: mmmmmmmmokay!
AE: sure
AE: best buds n what not
AE: im so proud of u babe
AG: Thanks.
AG: wait that was sarcastic wasn't it.
AE: jus maybe
AE: regardless that is like 120% not what im talkin bout rn this aint a competition
AG: It so is.
AE: im a little concerned tho babe are u insecure about how dan feels about u?
AE: i dont see a reason to be so defensive
AG: Shut up! I'm just worried about him.
AE: ok ok relaxxx boo
AE: im wavin the white flag ur toootes dan's super bestie best friend
AE: regardless
AE: theres more important stuffs goin on
AE: like this game
AG: Fine. Anyway I'm totally psyched for the game!
AE: exaaaaactly
AG: What is it about anyway?
AE: u'll see once we run it
AE: i'll be bringin in dan first, we already talked about this
AE: he needs a head start anyways
AG: That is some vague bologna. And I'm cool with that if I knew what bringing in meant.
AE: o!
AE: srry
AE: its just how the whole server-client thing is supposed 2 work, least thats how i understand it
AE: gamebro was deliciously vague about that and just kinda slammed on it for most of the talk
AG: Bluh, I hate that magazine.
AG: it's so useless.
AE: agreed, dumbass dudebros galore
AE: but gamegirl, stupid stereotypical crap that it is, is honestly even more useless so we're left with little alternative
AG: I subscribe to Gentleman Gaming. That's quality. Even if the writers are a tad old.
AE: :0
AE: dunno bout that love but i think we'll just have to see how it goes
AG: It seems fun from what little I know.
AE: thankfully most of the bumbling about will b done with dan and i so by the time i run my client disk it should b smooooooth sailin
AE: hehehehe
AG: Yeah, I don't understand any of that tech speak.
AE: all u need to kno love
AE: is that this
AE: is gonna
AE: b
AE: aaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssoo ooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee e
AG: Yeah, if my sister even will let me play it.
AE: iunno bout any of that boo but she should butt outta ur business
AE: my bro leaves me alone far as this stuff goes
AG: that's like asking a fish to climb. All she does is fuss and bug and meddle.
AE: well babe ur gonna have to grab that fish and throw it up the ****in tree because this is happening one way or the other
AE: i should really talk 2 dan now tho
AE: peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaacee babe
AG: Fine. Bye.
-- anguisElixir [AE] stopped pestering allergicGangster [AG] --

==> Vera: Pester Dan
True to your word, Dan is next on your list for peeps to pester. He's got an integral role to play after all!

[Nettlekid]

===>Cern: Knock
Your neighbors aren't home. They are NEVER HOME. This loneliness makes you question the universe, sometimes in a manner bordering on the solipsistic. You look outside into the busy hurly-burly of the city and come close to crying at the isolation shared by all of them.
You step on a spider and don't even care.


==> Roll eyes
Now isn't this troublesome? You're stuck with this useless mail, and they've got your precious delivery.

==> Captchalogue WRONG MAIL
Might as well hold onto it, even if it's of no use to you. Return it if you're feeling generous enough. Or if they'll thank you well enough.

==>Return to mailbox.
A thought occurs. You had half-assumed that they would have your mail, but no, they've probably been gone a while and the delivery just got here. So your dear beta is still inside that box. Would there be any way to get at it? Preferably one that wouldn't be noticeable. If the neighbors had a mailbox key available, that would also suffice.

==>SEARCH under the neighbor's door for a SPARE KEY, and the mailbox for WEAK POINTS.

[lord pringle]

====>Cern: SEARCH under the neighbor's door for a SPARE KEY, and the mailbox for WEAK POINTS.
You search the neighbor's door, but to no avail. The mailbox could be broken easily, but mail fraud is a FELONY.
====>Vera: Pester Dan
He's online. Pester away
====>Dan: Check if Maiyu is online
She's not online. Time zones are hard. They're hard and no one understands.
====>Maiyu: STRIFE!
Your textbook CARD-PARRY prevents your aggressor's spear from punching through your guts. He seems surprised and growls some insulting language at you.
====>Max: Examine Downstairs Room
Your father is there, and he mutters some STERN FATHERLY WORDS at you for your reckless grinding. He engages you in a LEVEL 3 GUILT TRIP.
====>Adam: Check Chums
It appears that RENO, DAN, and VERA are all online.

[Al Capwn]

==>Dan: Eat sandwich
You devour your noble sandwich. His delicious pigflesh, bread, mayonnaise, lettuce, and tomato blend perfectly into a glorious storm of sandwichy goodness. Your hunger has been satiated, and it was delicious.

==>Dan: Get guitar
You get your guitar out of your syllidex. It feels right to hold it in her hands again, and absolutely GLORIOUS.

==>Dan: Play sick tunes
You play some SERIOUSLY SICK TUNES. Those tunes are HORRIBLY DISEASED. The government should QUARANTINE those tunes, they're so HORRENDOUSLY DANGEROUS. You have the most TOXIC MUSIC in the WHOLE UNIVERSE. NEVER has there been a more DEADLY TUNE-

==>Dan: Notice Swedish death fantasy metal band
Well, forget that. You will never have tunes as HORRIFYINGLY DISEASED as those. If those tunes were a person, they would have CANCER, the PLAGUE, and MALARIA.

==>Dan: Morosely pester Reno

[Lord Raziere]

====> Max: Confront.

He actually noticed you for once? Thats a change. But still, you are not going to back down.

Oh your job eh? The same job that prevents you from spending any time with me? huh? The job that leaves me here in this boring town, all alone? Friends? oh you mean all the kids that call me a nerd for all the anime I like and the teachers who dislike me for being late to school? yeah, feeling real companionable there. Face it, nothing happens here. I'm gonna escape this town one day Father, and when I do, I'm gonna make it big, I'm gonna be bigger than you, there is a train out there headed for the future and I'm its conductor! choo-choo, next stop: awesome! now leaving small boringville, USA! oh what, don't talk to me as if I don't understand what you provide! You provide a lot of stuff, a lot of time and a lot of boring loneliness! I'm gonna blaze a trail to a fun game today, and you won't stop me, got it!? Not even if I have to Strife my way to it!

You flourish your (Toy) Lightsaber in what you hope is a cool manner, the plastic sections of the green blade extending to its full length while you eye your Father with a defiant glare and take a classic Jedi fighting stance.

[Amaril]

> Adam: Pester the mobster girl.

-- dungeonMastery [DM] began pestering allergicGangster [AG] --

DM: Hey Reno, you around?
AG: Yeah. You have Sburb yet?
DM: Just got my copy :D
DM: And I was just talking to Max about it, but he still doesn't have his.
DM: I'm just trying to see whether enough of us have it yet that it's worth starting anyway...
AG: Dan only has one disk. And Vera is being a mysterious person. Business as usual.
DM: Yeah, typical XD
DM: So you have yours then?
AG: Yeah, but I'm going to try to join with Dan and Max.
AG: Vera has it all worked out, see?
DM: Oh?
DM: Should I be afraid right now?
AG: We probably should.
DM: I was looking forward to playing it with everybody...
DM: What exactly is it she's suggesting now?
AG: She said that we could link it together, but that's all I could understand. Maybe max could link to you and me?
DM: I think so? I know there's some kind of connection thingy that's important to the game but I'm not really sure how it works.
DM: Yet another area in which they're being frustratingly vague about things people kinda need to know >_<
AG: Vera's the knowledgeable one. I think she has some kinda plant in the company.
DM: I wouldn't be surprised in the least XD
DM: Well I don't know, assuming Vera actually does have her copy that still leaves us with only you, me, and her able to play right at the moment.
DM: I wanted to check in with Maiyu but I guess she's asleep or whatever :/
AG: Should we wait for the others? I think you could be one of Vera's links. But then you'd have to trust her.
DM: Why wouldn't I trust her?
DM: She's never done anything wrong, right?
DM: ...Right?
AG: ...Have you ever talked to her? All she does is play mind games with her sickeningly cute text color.
DM: The pink is pretty annoying, yeah.
DM: But that sounds a lot like unwarranted paranoia to me :/
DM: What kind of "mind games" would she even play with random people she talks to on the internet?
AG: Shes the mole. Our Mr. Orange. Our Fredo.
DM: Oh I get it.
DM: This is a mob thing XD
DM: Well, far be it from me to contest you where stuff like that is concerned.
AG: It's serious business! You should watch out for her.
DM: Suuuuuure ;)
DM: I'll make sure to keep my ears open and my eyes to the ground.
DM: Or however the **** that goes.
AG: ...You're fired from my heist team.
DM: Good, 'cause I'm the worlds worst liar anyway.
DM: Wouldn't even make it past the janitor XD
AG: Meh, you wouldn't be the face. You'd be the wheelman. Or you would if you still had a job.
DM: Oh **** that, driving freaks me out O_O
DM: ANYWAY, I'm thinking we should probably wait to get started.
DM: Not even worth it with this few people.
AG: Yeah. Who do you want to link with? Got some pretty doll you want to spend time with?
DM: I dunno, just sorta figured I'd play with Max.
DM: Although assuming all of us actually can play in the same game then that'll be pretty frickin' sweet :D
AG: Yeah it will. Maybe you could be with Maiyu?
DM: That'd be pretty cool too, yeah.
DM: Talking to her is always kinda awkward though :/
DM: We can only talk about MtG for so long before she wants to bring up something else that's always embarrassingly awful >_<
AG: Really? I thought you two would be nerdy enough.
DM: Not all nerds are created equal :P
AG: Meh. You have any idea when she'll be on?
DM: Hell if I know, I never remember the time difference.
DM: I'm gonna go zone out on MSPA or something until we get **** sorted out.
DM: Has Midnight Crew been updated this week?
AG: The hiatus is still going. :(
DM: Crud :/ Well I'll figure something out.
DM: Let me know if you here anything new okay?
AG: Okay. I should go make sure my sister doesn't know I'm playing this game. See ya.
DM: I thought you'd know never to go against the family XD
DM: Seeya!

-- dungeonMastery [DM] ceased pestering allergicGangster [AG] --

> Adam: Waste several minutes trying to distract yourself from thinking about Sburb.

You search around for something to do while you wait for your friends to get their ducks in a row, but nothing much seems to grab your interest. You have to admit, you're starting to sympathize with MAX's impatience. The DISCS seem to taunt you from within their envelopes; the EXCITEMENT of finally having SBURB within your grasp makes your normal INTERESTS seem pedestrian by comparison.

You know what, screw this. Sad as it might be, it's not your fault MAX didn't get his copies on time. He probably won't even care if you start playing without him, and even if he does, he'll forget about it before he even has a chance to complain. He can join in later...probably.

Of course, it looks like only VERA is actually ready to start playing the game at the moment...

[Moonbeam Funk]

==>Maiyu: DRAW! (again)

You add another TRADING CARD to your HAND OF TRADING CARDS and decide to go on the OFFENSIVE this turn.

DD: I'll discard my QUILLBOLT HEDGEHOG to summon QUICKDRAW SYNCHRON!
DD: Next I bring my Hedgehog BACK from the Graveyard since my Synchron is a Tuner Monster!
DD: Now I tune my Level 5 Quickdraw Synchron to my Level 2 Quillbolt Hedgehog and Level...
DD: ... Uh.

You see that CRAPPY ORDINARY SCARECROW you accidentally used earlier is STILL A THING. More specifically, it is now being treated as a CREATURE WITH ZERO ATTACK AND DEFENSE POINTS on your field.

DD: Apparently that straw scarecrow is Level 1.
DD: Anyway, I merge the power of these monsters (and scarecrow)!
DD: SYNCHRO SHOUKAN!
DD: Come forth, the mighty ROAD WARRIOR!

Glowing rings burst forth and surrounded the shining SCARECROW, BOLTED HEDGEHOG, and COWBOY ROBOT (ROBOT COWBOY?). Their essences combined, and in their place a tall, mecha-esque WARRIOR appeared!

DD: Road Warrior, DIRECT ATTACK!


All of these CARD GAME SHENANIGANS are becoming INCREASINGLY SILLY. You're pretty sure you DO NOT CARE, though.

[Nettlekid]

==> Break the mailbox with your SLEDGEHAMMER.

What?! Are you an idiot?! That's ridiculous in like a thousand ways. As though it wouldn't be immediately obvious that something was amiss when your neighbor comes home to a SMASHED MAILBOX, and it would cause a great deal of noise which would alert your OTHER NEIGHBORS.

==> Consider the moral implications of mail tampering. After all, mail fraud is a FELONY.

You consider them briefly. You aren't tampering, though, are you? Everything was screwed up already and it wasn't your fault. If anything, you're fixing things. And being just and noble. Yeah.

Also, you realize, now that you've been running around holding the WRONG MAIL people might wonder why you held onto it for so long. Better to fix it and pretend nothing happened.

==> Return to your room.

You head back upstairs and into your room. You captchalogue a SET OF SMALL SCREWDRIVERS. You haven't gotten a lot of use out of these, but they've been handy in a pinch. You also captchalogue a TITANIUM SPORK and TITANIUM STRAW, a piece of SWEDISH FIRESTEEL, and a LENGTH OF SURVIVAL CORD. These were impulse buys from Thinkgeek. You like to have them around so you can be boastful if they come in handy and you're prepared. So far they have not.

==> Go back to the mailbox.

You head back downstairs. You were here three minutes ago. Nothing is different.

==> Unscrew mailbox lid.

The mailbox lid is the kind that locks in the front, but has hinges on the side. You suspect, with no reason to think so, that if you unscrew the hinges and pull out the...the long bit, in the hinge, that part, then the lid can at least be rotated a little and you can get what's inside. You begin to try, keeping an ear out for footsteps in the hall in case anyone's coming.

[lord pringle]

====> Cern: Commit Mail Fraud
You UNSCREW the mailbox and look inside. It's the BETA!
====>Maiyu: Attack!
Your ROAD WARRIOR attacks the assailant directly. He goes flying back, and when he collects himself he fires his UZI wildly at you.
====>Max: Confront
He looks at you with his eyes full of stern fatherly disapproval, and sighs as you make your AWESOME fighting stance. He readies a broom in case of need to parry.

[Al Capwn]

NC: reeenoooooooooo
NC: maiyu's offline
NC: and im bored
AG: I'm a little busy right now.
NC: oh
NC: sorry
AG: but I guess I could help.
NC: whats going on?
AG: My sister doesn't want me to play with youse.
NC: awwww
NC: why not
AG: 'cause my school work isn't terrific.
NC: whys that
NC: did it just get hard or something
AG: ...I also might have gotten into another fight.
NC: wait what
NC: you got into ANY fights
NC: reno what is even going on with you
AG: No one mocks the suit.
NC: reno
AG: yeah?
NC: the suit has been out of fashion for decades
NC: people would be okay with the hat
NC: so just wear the hat
NC: its iconic enough
AG: No, the whole ensemble shows that I'm a no nonsense gal. It works.
NC: well
NC: this probably looks a lot like the pot calling the kettle black or however that saying goes
NC: but you should probably not be getting into fights
NC: especially if it gets you in sister trouble
AG: I know.
AG: But I'm going to break the rules and play anyways.
NC: wen have a rebel right here
NC: im playing with vera first
NC: cause i promised her i would
AG: I think Adam wants to play with her.
NC: oh
NC: well we said we were going to play ages ago
NC: but i dunno
NC: so how's your crush doing
AG: But I think you can link with two people. Like how you're also with me.
AG: I haven't asked Max yet...
NC: do it
NC: i may not practice what i praech
NC: but i preach the gospel of love baby
NC: and theres only one rule
NC: no ****ing during services
AG: ... You're weird.
NC: if you have only realized this now
NC: you have some processing issues
AG: Well, I should probably make sure I can break the rules.
NC: wait what
NC: im confused
AG: Just making sure my sis thinks I'm doing homework. And also grab the disks from her.
NC: ooooooooh
NC: okay then
NC: guess i better install this thing finally
AG: And maybe look for the other disk?
NC: my gramma onyl has one disk
NC: she said
AG: Well, hopefully it'll show up.
NC: yeah
NC: well guess i better install this then
NC: and you better talk to your mom
NC: sister sorry
NC: i have the mental facilities of a nat's dreams on speed
AG: alright, see ya!
NC: seeya reno

-->Dan: Install Beta, and pester Max

[Lord Raziere]

====> STRI-darn it!

You start to charge forward to finally show him what your made of and to fight to get the Beta from him and-oh darn it, your iPhone rings. Oh erm, can excuse me for a sec Dad? I need to take this. You answer the question of what shape your phone is correctly (rectangular) and look at who is PESTERING you. Dan. Darn it, he stole the moment from you! and here you had some big showdown with your Father playing out in your mind. this better be good.

SS: Oy, this better be good
NC: hey max
NC: ya talked to reno recently?
SS: no
SS: kind've in the middle of starting to Strife with my Father right now.
NC: oh
NC: well when you get the chance
NC: you should talk to reno
SS: kind of put that on hold, to respond.
SS: and why?
NC: you should tell her i sent you
NC: and to tell you the thing
NC: she'll figure it out
SS: what thing? I'm kind of in the middle of trying to find out where my Sburb beta is. what could possibly be so important!
NC: you'll see
NC: just when you get the chance
SS: ....I hate it when you be all mysterious at me.
NC: :D
SS: whatever then, talk to Reno when I get the chance, got it.
SS: cya
NC: and tell her to tell you the thing!
NC: byebeeee

whelp. he interrupted you for nothing but to tell you to contact Reno for some mystery thing you have no idea about. AKA normal conversation with Dan. You get back to your Strife thing. nope.....moments gone. Gotta move on to the more important goal. You instead attempt brandish your lightsaber in a swashbuckling manner and say: Alright, there be an Sburb Beta ordered three days ago, matey and I be willing to do anythin' to get it! It has not arrived as of yet, so I be searchin' for me videogame treasure, yarr. Do ye be knowing of where it be, matey?

[Al Capwn]

==>Dan: Cackle evily
MUAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You are the DARK SHIPPER EXTRAORDINAIRE! You can see it now. This ship will be FANTASTIC.

==>Dan: Make shipping chart.
You draw up a shipping chart for your group of friends. It's fairly standard, and- Wait, you shipped YOURSELF with MAIYU? Really? Let's not make this get out of hand

==>Dan: Get out of hand
Oh.... Oh dear. That's not.... I don't even know how... What? That's... This is... This paper must be CLEANSED with FIRE!

==>Dan: Cleanse the shipping chart with the stove
You take the chart downstairs and burn it on the stove. You now have the ashes of the cleansed chart.

==>Dan: Captchalog Cleansed Chart
You captchalog the Cleansed Chart in your syllidex. It takes the form of a SQUISHY RED CANDY.

==>Dan: Go back upstairs, and install beta

[Nettlekid]

====> Cern: Commit Mail Fraud
You UNSCREW the mailbox and look inside. It's the BETA!


==> Cern: Commit Mail Fraud
It's not mail fraud! You're righting the wrongs of the world! It's everyone else who is wrong. As usual.

==> Captchalogue BETA
Well it's about time. You've waited long enough for this to arrive, and then put yourself to far too much exertion to get it. You pop the beta into a fortune cookie.

==> Return neighbor's missing mail.
Orrrrr...you could not. Now that you've pried open the mailbox, it would look suspicious if nothing was actually amiss. And, you realize with a start, what if other people's mail is also mixed up? Then it would look very suspicious if you and your neighbor, who is never here and happens to have a slightly dented postbox for whatever reason, both happened to get it all correct. For a moment, you consider unscrewing everyone's mail and making sure it's in the right box. But no, that would take too long. You consider unscrewing your own mailbox to match the damage. No, that would narrow the blame onto you.

==> Hold onto your neighbor's mail.
Okay, this might be mail fraud. But it was in your box, after all! This is the safest way to make sure no one notices where anything's gone. No one's going to see it inside your captchalogue, after all. And besides, even if your neighbors come back to an empty mailbox, it's not like it's the END OF THE WORLD or anything.

==> Replace mailbox lid.
It's easier to get screws back in than to take them out.

==> Return upstairs with the BETA.
You return to your room, shut the door, and head to your room. Before breaking out the beta, you check to see if anyone's online. This is a multiplayer game, after all.

[Amaril]

> Adam: Pester Vera.

-- dungeonMastery [DM] began pestering anguisElixir [AE] --

DM: Hey Vera, you around?
AE: ya wassup boo
DM: Okay.
DM: I have one question for you, and only one.
DM: Did you get the beta yet?
AE: i actually just did
AE: u sneakin peeks on me, hackin my webcam and stuff :0
AE: shady, babe
DM: Please, machines hate me too much.
DM: And that's assuming I even WANTED to see yo ass nekkid
DM: So, you know, not much XD
DM: ANYWAY, on that awkward note, you should play the beta with me!
AE: r00d lol
AE: hhhmmmmmmm
DM: Come on, do it.
DM: Max is being a tard and I'm sick of waiting here.
AE: see there's a bit of a problem there in that ive got a prior engagement there
DM: Oh really?
DM: With who?
AE: Dan and I. id always intended to b his server playa
AE: dealin out mad crazy levels of awesome like the mac daddy i am
DM: Uh huh...
DM: Yeah, that's quite the pickle I guess.
DM: *Strokes imaginary majestic beard in thought*
AE: think of it this way
AE: dan and i will be doing most of the bumblin about while i figger out how the hell this game works
DM: Okay, but counter point: there's no reason you can't server both of us at the same time, is there?
AE: iunno
DM: And I definitely don't mind being part of the bumbling around phase.
DM: Trust me, I've been reading up on this ****.
DM: There's no problem being server for multiple clients.
AE: u make a fair point then
DM: Come ooooonnnnn, I wanna play this freaking game already!
DM: Who knows when Max will come down from whatever ****ing cloud he flew off to while he was supposed to be figuring **** out.
AE: if ur game for me ****in around until i make some real headway then it should be fine but imma ask Dan first
DM: Okay, cool.
DM: Better than waiting on Max anyway.
DM: I'll be right here...at my computer...with nothing better to do...
AE: oh shoosh with the feelin sorry for ya self it wont take long
AE: you just sit right there babe
DM: Yeah, I know.
DM: Let me know when you've asked.
AE: we'll get this stone rollin down the hill in due time
AE: collectin mad moss as it is and aint nobody want that ****
DM: Word.
DM: Later then I guess :)
AE: aight dueces

-- anguisElixir [AE] ceased pestering dungeonMastery [DM] --

[lord pringle]

====>Dan: Install Beta
You install the beta and are treated to a rather fancy loading screen. Just look (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wuo4uR9JpE) at all the fancy colors. Boy, this sure is pretty. Oh, yeah, the screen also tells you that you have installed the CLIENT DISK.
====>Max: Be a pirate
You shiver your timbers at your father and he looks at you with fatherly confusion and worry for your MENTAL HEALTH. He hands you your copies of the game, claiming that he meant to give them to you earlier, and implores you to spend no more than an HOUR AND A HALF playing. It's for your health, he says.
====>Cern: Check on chums
Only Dan and Adam are on at the moment.

[Lord Raziere]

====> Max: Exit

He...just gives it to you?....Ok then you captchalogue the game and thank him while rolling your eyes at his concern. Now to get back up stairs. Without using the stairs. You were warned about the stairs bro, and you take such warnings to heart. You say that will first get some fresh air and exercise before you go up to your room- which is technically true- and go to open the door to take your ALTERNATE ROUTE outside up to your room. It involves some risk, but not as much risk as the stairs. You turn the knob and exit the house....

[S]====> (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8aoUtSZ15M)

The town is empty. The graveyard right next door, is still. Wilderness surrounds it on all sides, as if for all eternity, as if locked in stasis, never changing, always silent. The seconds tick away as if they were eons, every grain of sand in the hourglass taking a century to fall.

It is your fourteenth birthday, or maybe a couple days after who cares. and as all thirteen preceding it, something feels missing from your life. the game you currently hold promises only but a temporary escape from this seemingly endless wait, for what you do not know. You crave something, anything to break the tedium that has always haunted you, something meaningful to do, something of value before this short existence called life is claimed by the grave. Like a tomb, this town does not change and you are tired of it. You only live life once after all, and to live it in stasis is a waste.

"Carpe Diem" or latin for "Seize The Day"
-Julius Caesar

Your pretty sure Julius Caesar said that. One hundred percent positive. If only the day your waiting to seize would come.

You have a feeling that its going to be a long day.

[Al Capwn]

==>Dan: Go downstairs and get snacks
GREAT idea. You decide to go down and get SNACKS for your upcoming 1337 gaming session while the beta installs. GREAT thinking.

==>Dan: Go to kitchen
You enter your kitchen. It is no longer a display of Non Euclidean, wheat and egg based horror. It is now just extremely beige and ugly.

==>Dan: Captchalogue soda in your syllidex
You grab a nice bottle of L&L soda, now with a new ingredient: Laracitate Loroclodryn.

==>Dan: Captchalogue other soda in your syllidex
You captchalog a tasty bottle of QUICK PLUM HOT COFFEE! This stuff is just gross. No matter what you do to it, it's ALWAYS hot.

==>Dan: Captchalogue Gjvk bar
How do you even PRONOUNCE this?

==>Dan: Capchalogue Powdery End bar
Okay, now you're not even TRYING.

==>Dan: Captchalogue kitchen
You can't captchalgue the kitchen, you idiot! Try again.

==>Dan: Captchalogue everything in the kitchen
You captchalogue the things you can, and end up filling your candy bag with random things from the kitchen. Good job.

==>Dan: Get rid everything but your snacks
You start eating candies like crazy to try and get out everything but your DELICIOUS SNACKS. In the process, you start to feel SICK, and end up lodging a STOOL in the CEILING. Good job.

==>Dan: Clean up the destroyed kitchen
You clean up the desolate battlefield once known as the kitchen. The checkerboard pattern is almost like that of a chessboard, and you hop as if you were but a pawn in a larger game. You remove the weapons used by the tiny soldiers in their war as they hopped from tile to tile from the walls, but the battlefield still has endless battle scars across the walls and floors. Though the memories of mortal men may fade, their battlefields tell a haunting tale.

==>Dan: Lighten the mood
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU USE A CHAIR.

==>Dan: Grab kitty
You grab your lovable kitty Rufus from the sofa. He purrs as you pick him up, clinging to your shoulder.

==>Dan: Go upstairs before more mayhem is caused
You decide to go upstairs before you break anything else, and head back to your computer, with your kitty sitting in your lap.