I have a dream...

[Deicidal1]

Well, had a dream, last night to be specific.

I dreamt of my crusader, one of my favorite characters I've made, reveling in the heat of a glorious battle. Except this time something was different, he wasn't wielding his spiked chain like he was supposed to, instead he had a monstrous greataxe, slicing through wave after wave of enemy like they were made of paper.

However, the spiked chain was still there, and it was still fighting, only it was fighting by itself. Weaving, tripping, disarming and attacking all the while floating in the air completely independent of my character.

So now I have a question, how would I go about making this dream a reality (if i even can) and what way would be the quickest and least expensive. I almost exclusively play 3.5 so it would have to be legal in there, but I don't have access to most of the books currently (on an extended vacation away from my laptop, which has them all in glorious pdf form).

(also first post here, hi everyone:smallbiggrin:)

[Gildedragon]

There is the Flying weapon enhancement (+1, MoF)
You could tack that onto your chain. For ease of reference: The spiked chain is a weapon of the same size category as its wielder, so it'd be treated as a Medium Animated Object (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/animatedObject.htm)

As to the greataxe; I presume you have feats pertinent to the spiked chain. In comes Aptitude (+1, ToB) which lets you use your greataxe fill in the spiked chain spaces in things like: Weapon Focus, Greater Weapon Focus... other stuff...

[Red Fel]

So now I have a question, how would I go about making this dream a reality (if i even can) and what way would be the quickest and least expensive. I almost exclusively play 3.5 so it would have to be legal in there, but I don't have access to most of the books currently (on an extended vacation away from my laptop, which has them all in glorious pdf form).

So, like the Dancing (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/magicWeapons.htm#dancing) weapon enhancement? Admittedly, that one's not terribly worth it. Nor is its Epic version, Everdancing (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/epic/magicItems/weapons.htm#everdancing).

For spells, there's Animate Weapon (Complete Mage), but that requires concentration. Dancing Blade (PHB II) has a duration measured in rounds, but it's a higher-level spell. In theory, a custom magic item that casts these spells on your weapon could do the trick nicely.

Note, however, that weapons using the above enhancements or spells can only attack; they don't trip or disarm.

Instead, might I suggest an additional means of using the weapon? Having extra arms (either via a multi-armed race, or via grafts) might work. Another option, if you have a bite attack, is to use a Spiked Chain with the Mouthpick enhancement, which will let you wield the weapon in your mouth. It's completely insane, and awesome.

[Deicidal1]

As much as it saddens me to not have the chain be fully autonomous, the image of a gigantic hellbred crusader wielding a massive axe and a spiked chain in his teeth is quite possibly the most hilariously awesome thing imaginable. Thanks for the speedy replies!

[Gildedragon]

You could have it fully autonomous:
the flying enhancement from above and then Awaken Construct on it
the flavortext says a Humanoid Shaped Construct, but the Target is just "construct" so... DM ruling?

[Flickerdart]

There's the howling chain spell in Spell Compendium that creates a magic chain capable of tripping people and then beating on them while they're down. It's a 6th level spell, though, so it's not easy to get a hold of.