View Full Version : TPAY/TPBY I disagree!

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2015-08-05, 11:34 AM
That's never been proven, it's only a theory. Here, let's try it.
*Throws Elenna into the Sun*
Hey, you're right!

That was a bit of a hollow victory, wasn't it?

2015-08-05, 03:00 PM
It WOULD be if Elenna was actually a human. Did you see the pointed ears? You didn't even perform a valid test!

The Large Hadron Collider is really, really, big.

2015-08-05, 03:49 PM
"Large" is a relative term. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_J5rBxeTIk)

Lotta drama going on in the current Iron Chef 3.5 competition...

2015-08-05, 04:56 PM
As if! There's been no activity on the outstanding Iron Chef, Round LXX, for the past 3 days while we await the first judge's results.

I hate my job.

2015-08-05, 05:24 PM
You like the money though, right? So you must not hate it that much.

You know when you're at a restaurant, and the server brings out sizzling hot food on a metal plate, and says not to touch the metal plate because you'll burn yourself? Yeah, they're not lying - that plate really is hot enough to give you a burn.

2015-08-05, 06:45 PM

Well. That was stupid.

2015-08-05, 08:17 PM
Now, now, Xihirli. We don't say "stupid". We say, "poor assessment of underlying information and circumstances leading to unfruitful decisions".

Sometimes, political correctness goes too far.

2015-08-06, 02:17 AM
Of course not! After all, it is political 'correctness', right? Correctness is a fundamental part of it! If it is abused, the correct term is political 'incorrectness'.

Candy is delicious.

2015-08-06, 02:51 AM
Of course not! After all, it is political 'correctness', right? Correctness is a fundamental part of it! If it is abused, the correct term is political 'incorrectness'.

Candy is delicious.

Black licorice counts as candy. Your argument is invalid.

I am holding a comb.

2015-08-06, 07:13 AM
That statement is in the present tense, with no modifiers to modify when the present is present and when it is past. Thus, for this statement to be true, you must still be holding a comb, and continue to be holding a comb for as long as it is now. Should tomorrow ever arrive, you need not take your comb to greet it, but as long as it continues to take until today to get here, keep the comb in your hand.

I could have made things easier on myself and said, "No, that's a wattle".

Prince Zahn
2015-08-06, 08:06 AM
The problem is that would be lying, now wouldn't it?

Vogon poetry is disturbing.

2015-08-06, 10:46 AM
Well, presumably the Vogoms who write it like it.

Not everyone knows what Vogons are.

2015-08-06, 01:20 PM
Actually, I killed everyone who never heard of Vogons.

Killing people makes them stop moving.

2015-08-06, 02:26 PM
Um, do you not even KNOW that undead is a thing? They're at least minimally mobile.

Santa Claus is real--just not as a real person, rather as the spirit of Christmas personified.

Prince Zahn
2015-08-06, 02:40 PM
On Come On! Santa has nothing to do with Christmas - he's not even from earth!
I mean, everybody knows he really lives in Narnia.

The cows in the meadow go "moo (http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=K_EsxukdNXM)".

2015-08-06, 03:32 PM
Psh. They're clearly lowing.

No real dog has ever said Bow Wow.

2015-08-06, 03:40 PM
NO real dog? You set yourself up for failure when you put a blanket statement like that.

Nothing bad can ever happen to me.

2015-08-06, 06:11 PM
That statement is legitimately laughable. You've been stabbed HOW many times?!

Being stabbed is a bad thing.

2015-08-07, 02:03 AM
Stabbing is defined as 'to plunge a pointed weapon or instrument into something'. Under this definition, many surgeons spend a part of their day stabbing people, though not necessarily for bad reasons or with bad results.

Xihirli would be more appreciated by all members of the forum, save for himself, if he switched his stabbing to the above mentioned kind.

Prince Zahn
2015-08-07, 03:40 PM
...You're kidding, right? His "stab-and-be-stabbed" existence is one of his best features!

I started the trend of coloring the Guilty and Not Guilty labels on this forum's namesake message board game back in 2012. I'm also immensely flattered that other people still do that today!

2015-08-07, 04:03 PM
Nice try, but you can't actually be flattered, because I flattened you.
Anyway, I am flattered by your appreciation of my masochism.

Dire Stirge will NOT be appearing in my Signature Quotes.

2015-08-07, 04:52 PM
Pah-leeeze..... He just needs to post more often.

Anyone can be sig-quoted!

2015-08-07, 05:59 PM
Not yourself, then you're just saying it.

The flavor combination of peanut butter and chocolate is delicious.

Prince Zahn
2015-08-07, 06:24 PM
Like heck it do— okay, I can't do it, it really is too delicious:smallredface:
But the calories would be unfathomable! So there!

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make said horse drink.

2015-08-07, 07:20 PM
Sheesh! It's like you've never waterboarded a horse...

A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as he could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, Chuck.

2015-08-07, 08:32 PM
Ah. To that I have one thing to say.

Scimitar-Chucks, yo!

Scimitar-Chucks is the most brilliant idea ever.

2015-08-08, 12:16 AM
Scimitar-chucks would be incredibly unwieldy weapons, to the point of being completely unwieldable. Plus, there's already something better:so, in Pathfinder, there's a Barbarian Rage Power called "Body Bludgeon", which lets you grapple a foe and wield them as a weapon to damage both the "weapon" and the thing you're attacking; one of the many guides to optimizing the PF Barbarian states that, while terribly unoptimized (since you can't enchant people to give you an attack bonus, or penetrate DR), the idea of a Barbarian taking it and dual-wielding gnomes is hilarious. Anyway, that's the better idea: not Scimitar-chucks, but gnome-chucks.

Gnome chucks is the best idea ever.

Prince Zahn
2015-08-08, 04:18 AM
Everybody knows it's better to toss a dwarf than chuck a gnome!

I used AvatarVecna's wording to my advantage.

2015-08-08, 10:10 AM
That was clearly your disadvantage. That pun... was great. :)

Everyone has a name.

2015-08-08, 10:32 AM
Ah, to rebut:

That got dark.

2015-08-09, 08:57 PM
Did you even read the book? The boy escapes from his abysmal surroundings to share his story in order to show people that there is always hope! That's the problem with the American education system...

I am me.

Prince Zahn
2015-08-10, 12:47 AM
OMG no! You are clearly PONIES!

20'/20' vision is considered ideal by human standards.

2015-08-14, 10:50 AM
To contradict your statement, the better vision would be colorblindness, as no form of camouflage would ever work, sa they would no longer rely on color, instead focusing on texture.

this statement is false

2015-08-14, 01:40 PM
I disagree. If the statement "this statement is false" is false, then this statement is true.

I should stop procrastinating writing my short story and start writing.

2015-08-15, 01:02 PM
You could. Or you could sit on the couch and eat cheetos. Whaddayasay?

You disagree with this sentence.

2015-08-15, 01:38 PM
I believe that sentence is neither true nor false. :smalltongue:

Antarctica is too cold for humans to comfortably live without lots of equipment.

2015-08-16, 06:45 AM
What's your standard of "comfort?" Where's the line on "too much" equipment? How could would not be "too cold," but without delving into the opposite realm of "too hot?" You know, you should really ask more questions so your incorrect opinions would at least be informed.

You were born.

2015-08-19, 06:19 PM
not guilty, it was by an operation

you think sociopaths and psychopaths are the same thing

2015-08-20, 05:22 AM
No, I don't!

TPAM posted in the wrong thread.

2015-08-20, 01:42 PM
Even if the phrasing seems more suited to the Guilty or Not Guilty thread, what he actually said fit well enough.

Plants are examples of life, therefore plants are alive. Except of course when they're not.

2015-08-20, 07:46 PM
So you're saying that plants are AND are not alive. You disagree with yourself, what do you need me for?

Reading OOtS makes people more cool.

2015-08-20, 10:31 PM
I disagree, those reading oots don't need to get any cooler :smalltongue:

nothing beats a large, steaming plate of spaghetti with hot chocolate on a cold winter prevening

2015-08-21, 04:55 AM
Fettuccine Alfredo is the superior pasta, fool!

Sporks are unholy abominations that must be destroyed.

Prince Zahn
2015-08-21, 06:28 AM
My correctly mixed salad and I disagree with you regarding the potential profanity of sporks.

Someone will disagree with me if I am wrong.

2015-08-21, 06:34 AM
They might decide not to for the sake of being polite.

Emotions can be changed by words.

2015-08-22, 07:35 AM
On the contrary, the connotation that makes words emotional comes from the recipient. The emotions were already there, the words just helped them find out what they wanted to feel.

That makes sense.

2015-08-22, 07:55 AM
How dare you accuse Xihirli of making sense! The very idea...

Dr. Pepper is better than Pepsi.

2015-08-22, 08:36 AM
I've never even HAD Dr. Pepper and it's still obvious to me you're wrong.

RPG either stands for "Role-Playing Game" or "Rocket Propelled Grenade."

2015-08-22, 03:46 PM
What are you talking about? It clearly stands for Rapid Popcorn Gun!

People need to sleep.

2015-08-25, 07:46 PM
Sleep? BAH!

Speaking of sleep,

You are awake!

2015-08-25, 08:11 PM
No, I'm AvatarVecna. Asleep is my second cousin three times removed.

Nicotine is addictive.

Prince Zahn
2015-08-26, 03:09 AM
You cray-cray? I can stop whenever I want!

(no, odds are I can't.)

2015-08-26, 08:29 AM
Of course you can stop whenever you want! I mean, you might start again soon after, but that wasn't part of your statement at all!

Batteries eventually run out of power.

2015-08-26, 01:13 PM
I disagree, they get to a point when they don't have enough power available, and you can still use it to hold power over your enemies by threatening to throw it at them.

nothing rhymes with "orange"

2015-08-26, 01:18 PM
Anything is possible with a thick enough accent! "Door hinge", for example.

"Water" is a 5-letter word.

Prince Zahn
2015-08-26, 01:57 PM
You're never going to get your order if you say it like that.

My disagreement was a lousy copout, wasn't it?

2015-08-26, 02:23 PM
No, it was actually a rather well done copout.

Mudkips are very liek-able.

2015-08-26, 03:24 PM
That is not how you spell 'likeable'.

One does not simply walk into Mordor.

2015-08-26, 04:25 PM
Funny, there's a couple of hobbits who have done exactly that.

Who've is an widely accepted contraction.

2015-08-29, 01:37 PM
Actually whuiav'ne is more common.

oN THE SUBJECT, I am not an etymologist.

2015-08-29, 01:56 PM
Then how did you know about those contractions?

At their core, no sapient being is truly evil.

2015-08-29, 02:19 PM
Depends on if you consider selfishness to be evil, for at our core we certainly are that.

From the moment human beings are born, they are selfish.

2015-08-29, 02:41 PM
I know ours is a consumer culture, but I doubt that every single second of our lives, particularly those seconds near the beginning, is spent understanding the concept of ownership and desire.

Point-buy is mechanically superior to random attribute generation.

Prince Zahn
2015-08-29, 02:46 PM
It is mechanically more stable, But it is very possible to Get The superior stats via rolling 4d6b3.

AvatarVecna "ninja's" with his posts a lot lately this forum.

2015-08-29, 04:13 PM
I have no idea what you're talking about. If anything, I'VE been ninja'ing more than usual, I haven't even noticed him.

If I said, as my statement here, that I can't seem to think of a statement, that would itself be a statement and therefore not just extremely easy to disagree with, but valid to disagree with.

2015-08-31, 12:02 PM
It wasn't a statement, it was your fingers hitting the keyboard.

I have 10 fingers.

2015-08-31, 04:02 PM
I disagree, a thumb is a digit, not a finger

the smarter you are, the more likely you will succeed at what you want

2015-08-31, 04:33 PM
Smart people overestimate their own ability far too often, aiming for goals they don't realize they're capable of reaching. Us morons set goals that are more obtainable, even by a person of our relatively limited mental capabilities.

I remembered to post my own argument here for people to disagree with.

2015-08-31, 04:49 PM
I agree.

I can multitask.

2015-08-31, 05:23 PM
Multitasking taxes the brain as much as if you were doing both of those things at once, and you can't actually divide your focus between 2 things.

The Poster that Posted Previously to Me broke the rules of the thread by agreeing.

What, are you kidding me?! It's almost like he/she/wumbo PLANNED to post that at the end of a page!

Prince Zahn
2015-08-31, 09:59 PM
That would be true, except that the forum post chronologically sorted before yours includes an agreement to disagree with the forum post sorted chronologically before it, which is close enough to a real disagreement as far as this thread is true.

Humanity used to believe that the earth was flat.

2015-09-01, 10:31 AM
'Humanity' implies you are referring to all of humanity, rather than, say, the large part who thought it. I am sure there have been people who didn't believe it at any point in time, if only because they lacked the mental development to have any kind of opinion on the earth's shape.

A single water molecule is made up of an oxygen atom and two hydrogen atoms.

2015-09-01, 10:48 AM
I'm pretty sure more than one water molecule is made of up those things in that arrangement.

Firefly is awesome.

2015-09-01, 04:37 PM
They would have a lot more resistance to my hand if they were deserving of awe.

I never get to ride crimes against nature or hobos or nuthin...

2015-09-01, 07:30 PM
As your statement is nonsensical to me, I disagree by default.

Bravely Default is a darned good vidya game.

Blue Ghost
2015-09-01, 07:51 PM
Eh, it's pretty standard. But courageously so.

This! Is! The Playground!

Sir Toast
2015-09-03, 04:23 PM
No this is the Playground Forum. :smallsmile:
You are on your computer.

2015-09-03, 04:58 PM
Actually, it's not mine, its the public work computer.

This sentence is false.

2015-09-03, 07:24 PM
I disagree, and my reasoning is on page 18.

toilets are badly designed.

2015-09-04, 07:04 PM
They seem to perform their function just fine to me.

Lava is much more hot and deadly in real life than it is in video games.

2015-09-04, 08:18 PM
Not so. I've only just made it to World 8 in Super Mario Bros. Let me tell you, I have died far more times to lava in video games than I ever have in real life.

Three heads are better than one.

Prince Zahn
2015-09-05, 09:50 AM
One head is like when a man with one watch who can tell what time it is, while a man with three watchers is never sure.

There are people who laugh at corny jokes.

2015-09-05, 01:00 PM
Nonsense. To the people laughing, the joke is well-told and actually funny.

When the elephants dance, the grass gets trampled.

2015-09-05, 03:19 PM
I won't accept your statement unless you show me some dancing elephants. And none of this 'stomping around in a circle', no, I demand real dancing!

There is no such thing as absolute truth.

2015-09-05, 03:28 PM
The laws of mathematics disagree with you.

Math is just applied logic.

2015-09-05, 06:48 PM
The number i goes against all logic there has ever been. The concept of infinity is also used in lots of math, even though it violates several logical rules.

Whoa. I'm not supposed to be smart enough to know that.

2015-09-05, 07:54 PM
Just because you stab yourself so much doesn't mean you're not smart. It means you're clumsy, that's all.

When someone says "I R TTLY SMRT" it is usually out of self deprecating sarcasm.

Prince Zahn
2015-09-05, 11:46 PM
With all those missing vowels, most people are not going to be pronouncing that. you might have wrote it with an Indonesian dialect in mind, sure, but people don't usually speak Indonesian, do they?

television programs from the last two decades of the 20th century played a major role in defining what is acceptable to broadcast today.

2015-09-06, 05:00 AM
No they didn't! With natural laws, the fundamental state of the universe, and random chance being so much more important you can hardly say those programs were 'major'.

I can haz cheezburger.

2015-09-06, 08:47 AM

Yes, even that one.

2015-09-06, 01:23 PM
That's not a cheeseburger.

You've never been very good at being assertive.

Prince Zahn
2015-09-06, 02:29 PM
I can be when it counts.

Once an action is done,
it has been done,
even if you try
to undo it later on,
even if at the time
it was easily forgone -
What is done, is done

Sir Toast
2015-09-16, 04:50 PM
I disagree! To
be passive is to accept or allow what happens or what others do, without active response or resistance (according to google).
To be passive is to not even act.
"it was easily forgone -
What is done, is done"
The reason this doesn't apply to being passive is because when you're passive it's not that your abstaining from something, its that your not even reacting to something so when your passive your not doing any action so nothing is done.

All ice cream flavors have vanilla in them.

2015-09-16, 05:05 PM
....that is just not true? You must live in a sad place devoid of good ice cream.

On the Internet, noone knows you're a dog

2015-09-16, 05:36 PM
The NSA might disagree...

Wait, no they wouldn't.

2015-09-16, 06:53 PM
Oh please, you don't even know WHAT your position is!

Ritalin is a drug.

2015-09-17, 12:11 PM
Tut-tut, that's merely a marketing brand name for a chemical compound.

Vikings came from northern Europe.

2015-09-17, 02:52 PM
Actually, the real northernmost part, on the frozen shores of Russia, were never reached by vikings. Depending on where we consider 'north' to start, the vikings might never have been there.

In a right angled triangle the square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides.

2015-09-17, 05:17 PM
Not when it's found on a curved plane.

Day and night exist because of the rotation of the Earth in relation to the Sun.

2015-09-17, 05:21 PM
Day and night exist on other planets, as well. There just aren't people to notice it.

With great power comes great responsibility.

2015-09-17, 05:34 PM
Almost literally every villain/antagonist ever proves this wrong. Power just gives a person a greater ability to affect the world around them; how they choose to affect the world depends on their personality and general outlook on life. There's plenty of people who would never use their power responsibly.

Pizza is awesome.

Sir Toast
2015-09-17, 06:00 PM
Not when it has pineapple on it.
Toast is the result achieved when bread is toasted in a toaster for a certain amount of time.

Blue Ghost
2015-09-17, 06:48 PM
Incorrect. I toasted my bread in the toaster for a certain amount of time, and all I achieved was a charred substance that looked and tasted nothing like toast.

Bears like honey.

2015-09-18, 02:36 PM
I disagree! After all, it's a terrible movie.

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one.

2015-09-18, 07:50 PM
Unless lots of people dying is funny to me (the one), yes.

A lot of people dying is funny to me.

Insane Trystane
2015-09-19, 11:46 AM
I posit that your laughter is caused instead by the cognitive dissonance between your internal, subconscious belief that you are not going to die and the weighty, considerable proof to the contrary.

The other line in the supermarket is always moving faster than yours.

Sir Toast
2015-09-19, 07:55 PM
I disagree.
Murphy's Law states that "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."
The other line in the Supermarket only moves faster than yours when your in a hurry and need to get somewhere.
If you have time and aren't in a hurry your line will move quickly.

I is the 9th letter and the third vowel in the ISO basic Latin alphabet.

Blue Ghost
2015-09-19, 09:06 PM
I don't think so. You are Sir Toast, and the correct usage is "I am," not "I is."

Most birds can fly.

2015-09-20, 04:00 AM
I disagree! When you take into account the infinite number of of parallel universes that exist according to some theories, you'll find that in all of them combined the number of flying birds (infinite) equals the number of non-flying birds (infinite).

Third time's the charm.

2015-09-20, 06:00 PM
So if I stab you THREE times, the third strike will heal you. Let's test that.
*Stabbity stab stab!*
Huh. It didn't work. I guess you're wrong.

Politicians lie.

Prince Zahn
2015-09-21, 06:43 AM
You know, George Washington, the first president of the United States of America, is famous for his mental incapability to tell lies. Consequently, he would have been a terrible poker player.

Raising a child is a big responsibility and a long-term commitment.

2015-09-21, 12:03 PM
How is picking up and lifting a child up a commitment or a responsibility? I mean, you can always put them back down...

Cups can hold liquid within them.

2015-09-21, 12:46 PM
They don't hold the liquid in them, gravity and air pressure do. Without those, I am pretty sure no cup would be enough to hold any liquid for an extended period of time.

Robots are incapable of love.

Sir Toast
2015-09-21, 09:22 PM
I disagree. Robots with AI can display emotions as can be seen in any sci-fi movie.
I-Robot, Star Wars, Wall-E, Bladerunner.
Also this can be seen in comic books with great examples such as...
The Vision, Red Tornado, Skeets (Booster Gold's Partner).

Water has a chemical ratio of H20.

2015-09-21, 10:38 PM
Don't bring that science witchcraft into Lolth's temple.
Man, what I actually want to say would be scrubbed.
If I had included a more popular god in Lolth's place this would be scrubbed, even though (omitted).

Blue Ghost
2015-09-21, 11:08 PM
I honestly have no idea what you're talking about.

p ∨ ~p

2015-09-23, 03:50 PM
It's really funny you say that about Xihirli's post, because I feel the exact same way about yours.

Things have been pretty incomprehensible around here lately.

Prince Zahn
2015-09-24, 04:30 AM
People comprehend and react to things differently, it doesn't mean it's incomprehensible.

Sticks and stones are more than capable of breaking my bones with sufficient momentum on impact.

2015-09-24, 03:49 PM
Look at this stick (https://richmondtreestewards.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/redbud-twig.jpg). This isn't going to break anything at ANY impact.

I know how to type.

2015-09-24, 04:28 PM
For all we can tell you're really just telling your dog what to say, and the dog is the one doing all the typing. Go on, deny it if you can.

The Thames is a river flowing through the city of London.

2015-09-25, 04:14 PM

No one should ever use actual facts.

Sir Toast
2015-09-25, 04:30 PM
Except when they are trying to prove something.
There are 7 continents in the world Asia, Africa, North America, South America,Antarctica,Europe, and Australia.

Blue Ghost
2015-09-25, 05:26 PM
The seven continents of Zendikar are Akoum, Bala Ged, Guul Draz, Murasa, Ondu, Sejiri, and Tazeem.

2+2 = 2*2 = 22

2015-09-25, 05:40 PM
Not in binary. 2 isn't even a number in binary.

The work "bed" looks kind of like a bed.

2015-09-25, 06:08 PM
Except when they are trying to prove something.
There are 7 continents in the world Asia, Africa, North America, South America,Antarctica,Europe, and Australia.

Actually, geographically speaking, Europe should be part of Asia and Antarctica is just a big archipelago covered in ice. The very concept of "continent" is pretty much meaningless; no definition suits all seven of them.

Anyway, Vecna:
Beds are an illusion. They're propaganda.

I know things!

2015-09-25, 08:28 PM
Seeing as the bed behind me definitely exists, I am forced to disagree with that statement.

Many people enjoy eating chocolate.

2015-09-26, 07:12 AM
That qualifier is too weak, it should be "nearly all." And the ones that don't are freakish for it and they know it.

I couldn't say all because I actually know two people in real life who dislike chocolate.

Blue Ghost
2015-09-26, 12:55 PM
Search your mind, you know that all people like chocolate.
*wipes your memory of the people you know who dislike chocolate*

A cow is a mammal.

Prince Zahn
2015-09-27, 04:37 AM
No, a Cow is lunch.

A great deal of people, upon hearing and/or reading the above statement, Will not approve of it.

2015-09-27, 09:03 AM
Eh, it's not that big a deal.

Roses are red.

2015-09-27, 10:12 AM
Ha! A falsehood perpetrated by Valentine card rhyme makers and the military-industrial-media complex! The truth is that Roses are actually a color from beyond our dimension, given to us by aliens and the government is hiding it from us!

Looking directly into the sun for a minute is bad for your eyes.

2015-09-27, 11:15 AM
Depends. From the surface of pluto, for instance, such an act wouldn't be harmful at all.

Pluto's nature as a planet/non-planet is the subject of vigorous debate.

2015-09-27, 02:06 PM
Feh. Kill everyone and they'll shut up.

Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

2015-09-27, 03:29 PM
Cockroaches disagree.

This sentence is visible.

Sir Toast
2015-09-27, 04:37 PM
Not to a blind person.
This sentence is as in this one (not the above one) is in the font known as Georgia

2015-09-27, 09:04 PM
That is a lie! To the Neptonians, that font is known as Jashfertengelmahsotalishanico!

This sentence is a lie!

2015-09-27, 09:18 PM

If a man's choice is a result of his reason, then my choice is a result of my lack of reason.

Prince Zahn
2015-09-28, 06:30 AM
Not really, your reasoning is to defy common logic and social conventions using arbitrary displays of violence (and jokes of such behavior) for your own comedic amusement and that of others. By that definition, you are indistinguishable from a slapstick-specialized clown; comic relief, if you will.

Paper tends to change colors to brown and yellow as it ages.

2015-09-28, 02:50 PM
Not true. Place a piece of paper in a fire. As it grows older, its color will change to black, but not to either of the colors you mentioned there.

2015-09-28, 06:10 PM
@^ You forgot to put in a truth, so Ill put my own...

TPBM is the coolest guy ever.

2015-09-28, 07:41 PM
That is a bald-faced lie. How dare you accuse me of such a thing?!

TPBM is appalled that somebody can be so earnestly self-deprecating.

2015-09-28, 08:01 PM
I'm not appalled. Just very, very disappointed.

Radioactive materials decay over time.

2015-09-28, 10:56 PM
Not really, your reasoning is to defy common logic and social conventions using arbitrary displays of violence (and jokes of such behavior) for your own comedic amusement and that of others. By that definition, you are indistinguishable from a slapstick-specialized clown; comic relief, if you will.

Paper tends to change colors to brown and yellow as it ages.

If only that were short and sig-able.

Anyway, radiation's a huge scam. Here, I'll prove it.
*Exposes self to gamma radiation*


2015-09-29, 02:57 PM
Nice knowing you...

The preceding statement was wishful thinking, because if Xihirli can survive being stabbed as many times as he has, he can surely come back from a lethal dose of radiation too.

2015-09-30, 02:47 PM
Perhaps stabbing is part of Xihirli's life cycle, and he needs it to remain alive? It certainly would explain a lot.

Every villain, no matter how vile, can be given a positive spin.

Insane Trystane
2015-09-30, 08:07 PM
Not true. The evil matter-manipulating duo Proton Man and Neutrona both have positive spins of 1/2; you cannot give them what they already have.

Coming up with sub-par subatomic particle jokes is a sad way to spend an evening.

2015-09-30, 11:55 PM
I've been creating memes about being stupid and evil. Top THAT.


2015-10-01, 02:36 AM
I prefer to be Chaotic Good, thanks very much.

I unilaterally interpreted Xihirli's meme as his statement instead of making another joke about TPAM forgetting an obviously true statement.

2015-10-01, 10:07 AM
Actually no, you fell right into Xihirli's trap and did his evil bidding.

Tesla makes electric cars.

2015-10-01, 10:47 AM
Nikita Tesla has been dead for over a century, so he isn't really capable of making anything anymore.

This reply was just too easy to write.

2015-10-01, 12:45 PM
Not for one-year-olds!

All one-year-olds are too young to use a laptop.

2015-10-01, 02:51 PM
Depends on your definition of a year.

A great majority of YouTube comments are mean... Do you really really think you can disagree with that?

2015-10-01, 04:20 PM
I see plenty of supportive and harmless comments on videos I watch to dispute that, yes.

Persona 5. Enough said.

2015-10-01, 05:14 PM
Not enough said at all, I don't understand.

I don't understand.

2015-10-01, 07:16 PM
You do too understand you made me feel like a horrible person in the OOTS 1007 thread!

People on this forum have been assuming I am male, despite me never confirming my gender. :vaarsuvius:

Prince Zahn
2015-10-05, 03:09 AM
It's not an assumption, you see, until you can conclusively confirm and prove your gender, you are, as far as the laws of the internet are concerned, both male and female simultaneously. This phenomenon is what internet social scientists refer to "Schrödinger's User Profile".

I mean, that's how it works, right?

2015-10-05, 01:42 PM
Actually, Schrödinger's cat was a thought experiment never meant to be taken seriously, so anything derived from it obviously isn't either. Therefore, your logic is void.

There is no correct answer to the question: 'what is not the answer to this question?'

2015-10-05, 04:26 PM
Nope, there totally is an answer. What is not the answer to this question? Whatever I'm not saying in these words right here.

Paradoxes are for pedants.

2015-10-05, 05:15 PM
That statement is a tautology, therefore it is false.

There's something wrong with that sentence.

2015-10-09, 06:34 PM
Not that I can see.


Blue Ghost
2015-10-09, 06:37 PM
If you were truly exhausted, you would not have the energy to be posting right now.

There is water on Mars.

2015-10-09, 07:51 PM
It's called "smeerp" on Mars.


2015-10-09, 08:41 PM
Ah, but you are only agreeing to disagree with whatever statement you respond to, so you are in fact disagreeing.

There are quite a few different cat meme characters on the internet.

2015-10-09, 10:06 PM
I disagree! Cat is equal to 3-1-20. 3+1+20=24.2+4=6. Therefore, there are 6 cat memes, which is not a lot.

TPBM has, or will have posted in this forum the day he posts the post below me.

Prince Zahn
2015-10-10, 03:32 AM
TPBM has, or will have posted in this forum the day he posts the post below me.

You can't prove it. SMBG posts don't count towards my post count:smalltongue:

Life on planet Earth is not capable of surviving indefinitely without water.

2015-10-11, 03:34 AM
If we define 'life' as any kind of independently replicating piece of information, then several kinds of computer viruses would be able to persist as long as computers remain.

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.

2015-10-11, 09:35 AM
You can't prove it's not reality.

The planet Jupiter has a red spot.

2015-10-11, 10:03 AM
It looks more of an orange color to me.

I am not Groot.

Insane Trystane
2015-10-11, 12:22 PM
We are Groot.

My response was predictable, given knowledge of the relevant movie.

2015-10-11, 02:55 PM
As I possess no knowledge of the relevant movie, I am unable to verify the truth of what you just said. In other words, I can't possibly agree with it, and therefore see myself forced to disagree!

[Adjective] [Noun] is [Adjective]

Prince Zahn
2015-10-11, 03:28 PM
If your grammar format is done by Mad Libs, a Gooey oboe might be hungry. But this is not Mad Libs, and in normal English that makes no sense.

We have nothing to fear, but fear itself.

2015-10-11, 03:50 PM
And death. We can fear death.

I fear death.

2015-10-11, 04:06 PM
So you say, and yet you continue to function in normal society - riding in automobiles on roads filled with other drivers, getting into elevators without knowing when they were last inspected, eating fast food prepared by who knows what unsanitary methods, and generally acting like nothing is about to kill you at any given moment. Why, I'd bet you didn't even check your keyboard for contact poison before posting. Some fear!

Money does not grow on trees.

2015-10-11, 06:07 PM
It does if you operate on a bartering system.

There is no spoon.

2015-10-11, 07:40 PM
I have no idea what you're talking about, I CLEARLY just used it to eat ice cream!

This is a statement.

2015-10-11, 08:26 PM
Then where are its teeth?


2015-10-12, 02:57 PM
Given that smartness requires accepting that some problems can't be solved by repeated application of a sharp object, an act that contradicts your very being, 'hate' is too weak a word.

The image in the above post is horribly pixellated.

2015-10-12, 05:40 PM
I wouldn't say it's pixellated horribly.

In fact, I'd say there's no such thing as being horribly pixellated!

Blue Ghost
2015-10-12, 10:35 PM
Have you ever been pixellated? It's a very traumatizing experience. :smalleek:

Insects are generally smaller than humans.

2015-10-12, 11:43 PM
Have you ever been pixellated? It's a very traumatizing experience. :smalleek:

Insects are generally smaller than humans.

Now you're assuming that mass is a thing.


2015-10-13, 02:48 PM
I think he's lying.

I am far too pleased with the above pun, seeing that it is nearly impossible to spot.

2015-10-13, 11:29 PM
On the contrary, I got that pun immediately.

The aforementioned play on words in question is on the word "lying", which in this context can mean either "telling an untruth" or "resting upon one's back"; therein lies the humor of TBAM's statement.

Prince Zahn
2015-10-14, 05:57 AM
I reject your explanation of the joke, as it makes the most sense that he was sitting in front of a personal computer when the picture was made, if a joke is to be funny, it should have a grain of truth to it.

Humans can not see the air around them.

2015-10-15, 10:32 AM
Actually, we can see air, but the air is clear so we can't connect much to the visual sensation of 'air'.

I am using the Internet in order to access these forums.

2015-10-15, 07:44 PM
You, sir, are using an internet BROWSER. To "use the internet" would most likely refer to the act of attempting to gain fame and fortune by rising to viral status.

All true art is pretentious, but not all that is pretentious is true art.

2015-10-15, 09:13 PM
What? No! (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TrueArtIsIncomprehensible)

I am terrible at updating my webcomic.

2015-10-15, 10:15 PM
No, you're not Boxbot (http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/?p=438).

Boxbot is terrible.

2015-11-03, 12:59 PM
The Twilight series is terrible. Boxbot is an *******.

I am attempting to resuscitate this thread.

2015-11-03, 04:35 PM
You can't resuscitate something that doesn't breathe.

Consciousness is an illusion.

Poll Comics
2015-11-03, 09:48 PM
Nah... consciousness can't be an illusion. Illusions are manipulations of consciousness- ergo a baseline level of consciousness is required before an illusion becomes effective.

You can't step in the same river twice.

2015-11-04, 01:29 AM
Two feet counts as two steps. In the same river.

Superman can fly.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-04, 01:58 AM
Yeah, with Hollywood strings on his back, maybe.

New Orleans is habitable.

2015-11-04, 10:30 AM
I disagree! Dixieland (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dixieland), also known simply as 'New Orleans' is a kind of music and therefore not habitable!

The world may never know how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop.

2015-11-04, 01:11 PM
I disagree; Purdue University organized an experiment to determine exactly how many average licks are required (364) and Michigan State repeated the results.

Vitamin A is essential for good vision and healthy eyes.

2015-11-04, 01:24 PM
I got vitamin A, I still needed glasses. <_<

People can be so STUPID.

Insane Trystane
2015-11-04, 02:45 PM
Stupidity was outlawed in 187 UE. Keep up assertions like that and you'll get arrested.

We are in a computer simulation programmed by a utopian government to keep its "undesirable" citizens' minds occupied, and only moderators of the simulation are aware of this fact.

2015-11-05, 11:53 AM
I disagree! A just government would never allow all the horrible things in this world to exist, while a cruel one would just create sixteen different kinds of giant spiders to inhabited the stimulation.

Numbers equal themselves.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-05, 04:01 PM
What witchcraft is this?
2+2≠2. I'm sorry to tell you.

A human being is a slave to his/her own brain.

2015-11-05, 04:41 PM
Actually, humans are slaves to their instincts, which is only a part of our brain. However, the part that resists instinct also comes from the brain, so your argument is moot.

Kamen Rider was a TV show created in Japan.

2015-11-06, 04:35 AM
It still is.

Whereof one cannot speak thereof must one be silent.

2015-11-06, 12:57 PM
If one cannot speak, one can perhaps still make "mmph, mmph!" noises or other generic cries for help.

I'm insane.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-06, 06:56 PM
Doubtfully to the accepted requirement of crazy where it interferes with your functioning as a human being. You are also capable of voicing reason in complete and coherent sentences. I must conclude that you are indeed sane, albeit rather eccentric (but then again who I'm the internet isn't these days?)

Mice are rodents.

2015-11-06, 08:08 PM
No. They are an electronic device for the purpose of manipulating a computer cursor.

The next Hearthstone expansion launches next week.

2015-11-08, 04:23 AM
I disagree! For 99.999999999% of the time the universe exists, your statement will be invalid. Therefore, I think it is safe to claim the statement can be considered invalid all the time.

Dragons are known for kidnapping princesses and getting killed by knights.

2015-11-08, 05:36 AM
Oh please, that's just a stereotype and an outdated one at that.

Dumb people can still have smartphones.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-08, 12:53 PM
Not really, understanding and making good use of a whatchamajigger-phone is a sign indicating towards a type of intelligence.

People are strange when you're a stranger, and faces look ugly when you're alone.

@v You got the song and started another one that I also really love. For this, have a cookie:smallsmile:

2015-11-08, 04:11 PM
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted, and streets are uneven when you're down.

It's nine o'clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in.
There's an old man sitting next to me
Making love to his tonic and gin.

2015-11-10, 11:33 AM
I'm fairly sure that if said man was actually doing that, no crowd of people would want to get within a few hundred feet of him.

Effects follow causes.

2015-11-12, 09:59 AM
I'm fairly sure that if said man was actually doing that, no crowd of people would want to get within a few hundred feet of him.

Effects follow causes.

All causes are also effects, therefore effects follow effects.

Fawful is beefless.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-12, 11:29 AM
Beef can be Fawful if you don't use fresh ingredients.

Alas, my love, you do me wrong
To cast me off discourteously

2015-11-15, 03:07 PM
Your love? Buddy, I think you have me confused with someone else.

There's no such thing as a truly reliable person.

2015-11-18, 09:11 AM
Nonsense! You can always rely on people to breathe.

Prince Zahn was quoting the song "Greensleeves"

2015-12-08, 07:58 AM
No he didn't. A proper quote would have quotation marks and a source.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

2015-12-08, 08:46 AM
What if the bird in the hand is a vicious, horrible-tasting Canadian goose, and the bush is fenced in and contains a pair of flightless chickens?

Squids are perfectly capable of being kids.

2015-12-08, 11:26 AM
Even taking that in the context of Splatoon, it's not true. When they become kids, they cease to be squids, and vice versa. They are incapable of being both a kid and a squid simultaneously. "You're a kid now, you're a squid now."

EVE Online is an MMORPG.

2015-12-08, 04:02 PM
A Mostly Malignant Old Radioactivity-Producing Godslayer? No, those don't exist anymore. Not since 2008, anyway.

Red means stop and green means go.

2015-12-08, 06:52 PM
Not in a watermelon. (nor their literal meanings.)
"of a color at the end of the spectrum next to orange and opposite violet, as of blood, fire, or rubies."
"of the color between blue and yellow in the spectrum; colored like grass or emeralds."
Rock, paper, scissors has no strategy to it.

2015-12-08, 08:03 PM
If you play with the same people enough, you can start to figure out what they're likely to do and build up a strategy.

Exams are stressful.

Prince Zahn
2015-12-09, 12:05 AM
Says someone who actually has to STUDY for exams. Such a waste of time.

Being tardy is not difficult if the traffic and weather are unfavorable.

2015-12-09, 12:09 AM
It's not difficult to be tardy in any situation, so weather and traffic aren't that relevant.

Mozart composed classical music.

2015-12-09, 02:52 PM
Mozart composed contemporary music, to which we in our later frame of reference came to refer as classical. Hey, if it ain't baroque don't fix it.

I have been away from this forum far too long.

2015-12-09, 03:06 PM
Who are you?

All problems can be solved through the liberal application of fire.

Most people consider things like having their house/stuff/self on fire to be problems.

A problem I can solve! With fire!

2015-12-09, 03:22 PM
Most people consider things like having their house/stuff/self on fire to be problems.

Never run away from the Time Police, you will not survive.

2015-12-10, 01:17 AM
"I'm The Doctor, and I save people!"

Jack Harkness is The Face Of Boe.

2015-12-10, 11:33 AM
Clearly, this is the face of Bo:

A five-ounce bird could not carry a one-pound coconut.

2015-12-10, 11:52 AM
Depends. In a zero-G area, what you consider a five-ounce bird would be able to carry what you consider a one-pound coconut.

A surface that reflects all light that falls upon it is white.

2015-12-10, 01:27 PM
Mirrors look pretty grey to me.

I have completed my finals.

2015-12-10, 10:56 PM

All life is meaningless.

2015-12-11, 01:33 AM
Without getting too Targ Collective on you, the statement "all life is meaningless" implies a quintessential duality; for the statement to have context there has to be an ego to the id, as it were, a yin to the yang. Without meaning, the word meaningless is, well, meaningless. Combine this with the blanket statement that it applies to "all life" implies that meaninglessness itself is infinite, and therefore must coexist at some point with its counterpart, meaning. Now, if a youth wasted watching Star Trek has taught me anything it's that to combine x with anti-x inevitably causes a massive explosion, ending all life within the area of effect, in this case the universe and whatever the blast radius of said explosion would be (say, for good measure, 3-5 infinities). It is therefore impossible that all life be meaningless, QED.

There are a lot of unproven, subjective statements being touted as fact on this thread.

2015-12-11, 07:42 AM
Now that's just ridiculous. I created this game myself and when I set the rules I expressly stated that only things that are obviously true should be used as statements, so there's no way they'd dare defy that!

TPAM used Targ Collective's name as an adjective.

2015-12-13, 03:47 AM
According to this: http://www.giantitp.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-325036.html, it's a Proper Noun as a handle name.

If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning, I'd hammer in the evening, all over this land.

Prince Zahn
2015-12-13, 09:19 AM
+1 for your choice of song!

A: depending on your accommodation status you likely do own a hammer,
B: You would also get 5 levels of exhaustion before you cover a 10 mile radius with your hammer. Seriously, mate, slow down! I think they have very good medicine for even your level of OCD, if you don't stop hammering you'll die just like John Henry.

I believe that the spirit of John Henry (the one whom folk songs have been traditionally sung about) has possessed TPAM, as he clearly has an abnormal obsession with hammers, and hammering.

2015-12-14, 06:05 PM
A sentence or two does not an obsession make.

I have the obsession.

2015-12-14, 06:20 PM
No, your obsession is more about pointy objects than blunt ones.

Um...I don't even know.

EDIT: The thread's progenitor, I like the sound of that!

2015-12-14, 07:03 PM
Clearly, knowledge is power. And since the thread's progenitor clearly has supreme power over the universe*, then you must know, you know?

People generally drive on parkways and park on driveways.

*Definition of the term "universe" in this context may or may not actually apply to this thread or Lheticus' posts therein. Offer void in Michigan, Arizona, and the plane of Limbo. See store for details. Some restrictions may apply.

2015-12-14, 07:07 PM
It's rush hour, no one is driving on the parkway. As for the driveway, have you seen your teenage kids lately?

I'm having chicken for dinner.

Prince Zahn
2015-12-15, 01:29 AM
No. You are having soup tonight and you are going to like it.

Assertively putting my foot down a message board game in present or future tense has little or no impact over what has already happened in real life.

2015-12-15, 03:01 PM
I counter with the butterfly effect.

The butterfly effect is unproven at best.

2015-12-15, 10:43 PM
Yes it has! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2410532/Why-toast-falls-butter-Scientists-finally-uncover-reason--height-table.html

The light does indeed turn off when you close the refrigerator.

2015-12-16, 12:19 AM
If it did, why does the refrigerator light burn out so fast?

20 C is not December weather...

2015-12-16, 03:40 AM
It is if you live in Australia!

The Epic of Gilgamesh is the first great work of literature.

2015-12-16, 03:53 AM
Great?! You can't even choose your own adventure!

Most scholars do not consider Choose Your Own Adventure books great works of literature.

2016-01-06, 11:23 PM
Why do so many people in this thread misuse "most" and "all"? I really think "all" scholars is more appropriate here!

I waited so long to say that because I was hoping someone else would come up with something better.

2016-01-07, 01:59 AM
Who says you waited? Perhaps you just came on this forum recently, found this thread and thought "There's a really obvious answer to be said here, but I'll cover it up as a reluctant gesture."

The screen you are looking at is emitting light.

Prince Zahn
2016-01-07, 06:28 AM
For the sake of argument I am legally blind. I am not looking at anything.

That was a fib.

2016-01-07, 03:45 PM
Actually, I think that would qualify more as a whopper.

When it can be demonstrated that the negation of a statement leads to a contradiction, then the original statement is proved true.

2016-01-07, 05:22 PM
This statement is a lie. Prove that true! :smallsmile:

I do not own a time-travelling airship.

2016-01-07, 06:15 PM
Any airship you own actually does travel through time, at the speed of 60 seconds per minute.

Throwing money at your screen doesn't actually accomplish anything useful.

2016-01-07, 10:42 PM
Well, one time there was a moth on my screen...

The person reading this text is capable of reading.

2016-01-08, 02:22 AM
How do you know there aren't blind people reading this with a screen reader?

Many if not all people dislike having headaches.