How can we un-bork the Item Familiar?

[aleucard]

I'm sure that most of you are familiar with the monstrosity known as the Item Familiar. (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/variant/magic/itemFamiliars.htm) If not, then follow the link, and pay particular attention to the Investment sections, as well as the 'Special' section in the feat itself. Yeah, this is quite possibly the most @#$^ed up singular feat/item in the history of Dnd 3.5. I'm interested in what you all would do to make this a bit less completely absurd in both directions. Preferably, it's something to help give it unique flavor, although if you have no better ways to balance it than to emulate something more common, that's acceptable.

[Dusk Eclipse]

I think that it would become much more balanced if you simply nixed the invest X stuff. The other abilities aren't OP by any stretch of the imagination.

[Urpriest]

I don't really think an un-borked version is necessary. Intelligent Items already exist, and Item Familiars aren't familiars in the "caster with a familiar" sense. The only other reason to have a separate mechanic for it is for the borked consequences.

[Telonius]

Personally I think the whole reason for the Item Familiar is exist at all, is to allow someone to model a lesser version of The One Ring. It's borked, because it's supposed to be borked.

If you want an item that "levels up" when you do, giving increasing bonuses, Legacy Weapons would be the first place I'd look. Not the last place I'd look, since they tend to be terrible and not worth the cost; but bumping up the power on some of them would probably get you something close to what you want.

[PsyBomb]

Custom Legacy Items are usually good. Then again, if you want to un-bork the BIG excesses while still allowing Item Familiar, replace the Investment system with a few bonus feats over the career, limited to Skill Focus, Extra Spell Slot, etc.

[Captnq]

You can't.

The rules are so bad I refuse to include it in the Familiar Handbook. Nuke the site from orbit. Only way to be sure.