Do Villains Get The Best Lines?

[agentx42]

Time and again, The Giant never fails to make me spit orange juice through my nose with a Xykon strip. Which had me thinking: do villains get the best lines??

What are your favorite bad guy quotes, from anyone in the strip who's ever taken on the mantle of 'antagonist'?

[agentx42]

And before anyone says it...

"I think I just had an evilgasm."

Okay, GO!

[mikeejimbo]

"We're literally out to conquer the world here, how is conquering part of it a waste of our time?"

"If you make me sail a ship of hobgoblin corpses, so help me, I will make you pay."

[sun_tzu]

I would say...no. Don't get me wrong, the villains gete some great lines around here...But so do the heroes.

[Rumda]

:xykon:sacrificing minions is there any problem it can't solve
:redcloak:now if you'll excuse me this 100% natural goblin has an army to lead
::bandit chief:: my little girl low on hit points and with no more spell slots today pumpkin *pow* I challenge you for leader ship of the bandits
::black dragon:: clever however there is one number you have failed to include in your analysis your hit point total
::dwarf assassin:: ahh help whore attack

[The Extinguisher]

"I tell you. It's the little day to day surprises that makes un-life worth un-living"

[RMS Oceanic]

All of the above, plus:

:miko:: The term is "smite evil", not "bump uglies".

[Green Bean]

:thog: bullrush tackle hug!!!

Of course, the good guys have some great lines as well. Remember "not everyone agrees with your assessment"?

[kire]

:xykon: "Hey, look, I just regenerated a finger. Guess which one."

[agentx42]

Just to clarify, I'm not saying the good guys DON'T get good lines (they do, especially Belkar, because psychopaths are almost always amusing). Just wanting to know what your favorite BAD GUY lines are. So... please continue!

[Lizard Lord]

Just to check by villains do you mean the evil characters or do you mean antagonists. I think evil people in general always have good lines wether or not these evil people side with the good guys.

If you mean evil::belkar: "Let's see. I'm alone, wounded, and barely armed in a foreign land, trapped in a massive fortress swarming with nameless hostile human sentries. It's like my birthday come early, only instead of cake, there are dead humans. Well, more dead humans, at any rate."

If you mean villain then the Goblin Parent that said "Listen to me, young man, you will drink the blood of the innocent and you will LIKE IT."

[Teh_Jakester]

:thog: is the funniest Character ever.

:nale: - You know, the first two, I probably should have seen coming. The Leprachon costume? Not so much.
:thog: - thog brought bread crumbs.

:thog: - ooh! games! thog loves games! what game? is it candy land? thog loves candy land!
:nale: - Can I get through ONE strip withour the Half-Orc upstaging me?
:thog: - thog fears he will never again know the magesty of the gumdrop mountains.

[GolemsVoice]

The evil guys get the good lines BEFORE the fight, the good guys AFTER the fight.
At the beginning, Dr. V. Ery Evil gets to tell the heroes of his materplan, and, if he feels like it, make some "you are all going to die, ha ha ha" jokes. After he's dead or otherwise put to rest, the protagonists get to say their "Told you so" lines.

[ObadiahtheSlim]

"This is sickening! You sound like chapters from a self-help book"

[Tadpole]

Xykon is just the best.

[Haruki-kun]

:thog: prison change thog.
:elan: We were in there for 40 minutes.
:thog: prison change thog quickly.

Yah, the bad guys always get the best lines.

[Professor Tanhauser]

Roy gets some good ones like "treasure type O", "soak my brain in acid", "test knowledge: Limits of my own sanity" and "You only weigh 30 pounds."

Oh yeah, "I work with the tools I'm given. Sue me."

V has some good ones like the one abotu the remains of a disintegrated dragon looking just like the remains of a disin tegrated human, drawf or halfling.

Belkar had a great one with "It was worse at my height!"

[Skittles]

:xykon: Yahtzee!

Just because of the complete randomness. My boytoy thought that was hilarious.

[Shadow of the Sun]

My favourite ever is: :thog: "Thog brought breadcrumbs"

[AKA_Bait]

Ah but nothing tops:

::Hobbo:: Well, you could simply vanquish the current supreme lead--

:redcloak: : Done. Slay Living Wow, actually that was quite liberating.

[Teh_Jakester]

Ah but nothing tops:

::Hobbo:: Well, you could simply vanquish the current supreme lead--

:redcloak: : Done. Slay Living Wow, actually that was quite liberating.
:redcloak: - Wait... He was supreme leader, right?
Supreme Leader - Yes.

[fangthane]

Tough call... My fave from the most recent comic only has to be "Oh, very good, sir, should I begin painting the bullseye on you right now, or would you prefer to--"

But Nale has had some great lines, as did Leeky... Ultimately I think the absolute best ever enemy quote has to be "Wait, what?" as quoted from Trigak (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0020.html).

[MrBean13]

I would say...no. Don't get me wrong, the villains gete some great lines around here...But so do the heroes.

I would say so, too. It just seems like it because they barely get a chance to have a punchline so whenever they have one, it must literally be good (if you look at their other lines)... But that's just my opinion.

BTW: "Hey." http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0105.html

[Blackdrop]

V's line at the bottom of 105 is good too.

My favorites

:redcloak: Yes, you've figured me out, my desire to formulate a basic strategy for our impending invasion is soley because I am unable to roll a five of any kind.

:redcloak: I can't help but notice that your sense of team spirit is inversely proportionate to your number of functioning appendages, sir.


:xykon: Oh! Right! Now I remember. Because it was Laundry Night, and I had trouble getting blood out of my robes.

:vaarsuvius: Take your infernal hands off me! Damn it, I am a wizard not a divining rod!

[Copacetic]

:redcloak: Sounds to dangerous to send anyone but myself.... wait have 20 no 30 hobgoblins go scout. tell them to shout if they find anything.
:xykon: my little redcloak is growing up.*snifle*

:redcloak: Achh I remember training one of those. I was so releived when It finally fell asleep after eating. Wait, asleep asfter eating?
:redcloak: After you have your celeray and crakers Lord Xykon has musturd If you want it.
:xykon: sacrificing minions is their any problem it can't solve?

[Jamin]

:mitd::Sometimes I eat to feel the loneliness
:roach: : have you tried asking nicely
:xykon:: It's funny because it's true
those are the only ones I can think of off the top of head

[Awesome Girl]

For some reason this line:redcloak: Here iswhat I'm offering: talk about strategy with me for ten minutes, and this hobgoblin will hit the other hobgoblin in the face with a banana cream pie. cracks me up every time I don't know what does it. I should put it in my sig. You know, I will do that.

[donkyhotay]

My personal favorite has always been
belkar: Wait, I think I just failed a spot check!
thats what got me started on this strip and reading it continually for quite some time now.

[Silverlocke980]

It cancels out. Personally, I think Thor has the best line in the comic ("Booyah! Direct hit!"), but the best villain line is simple.

" I think I just had an evilgasm."

That one's classic.

[Rumda]

frings it's
:redcloak:Ok now after you've finished rinsing in the honey mustard, lord xykon will give you your garnish and cracker
:redcloak:if you like fresh pepper is available
:xykon: sacrificing minions is there any problem it CAN'T solve

[Terraxos]

I think Xykon does get the best lines in the strip. In particular, his lines at the end of strip #112 ("You ready?" "I was born ready." "Great. Me first.") are probably my favourite evil-guy moment ever. Xykon is just perfect in that scene.

"Hey, I just regenerated a finger. Guess which one." comes a close second.

[dwagiebard]

Ha! You're all (edit: okay, most of you, anyway) quoting lines from the most recent 100 strips! It was the FIRST 100 that made OOTS famous!

[Jamin]

It is just another way of showing how much it has improved

[Ettlesby]

I've always personally liked Xykon's "Oh, great. You moderately inconvenienced me. Daddy would be so proud."