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Thoughtbot360
2007-02-20, 06:46 PM
Topic^

Here's mine:

Grunk
Grunk, as a character isn't a problem, however, his player has the memory of a goldfish and even after playing the game for five years, still doesn't know the rules.
Quote: "What die do I use for my greataxe's damage again?"
D12: ME! MEEEE! Don't forget about me! I have so few friends....don't take that away from me.
Race: Half-orc
Alignment: N
Class: Barbarian

Skinner
Apparently, he has read the rulesbook one too many times on a particularly long and boring plane ride and now jumps over any GM that strays from the rules. Standard Rules Lawyer that will fuss over any ruling that tries to protect a plot-central character from being tracked down and assasainated by his poison arrows. His knowledge of the rules might have come in handy if he could be buddied up with Grunk, but sadly he refuses point blank because of some unknown out-of-game incident.
Quote: "But I was using Tree shape! I wasn't disguised like a tree, I was a tree, dammit! No spot checks for you!" "Oh, I'm afraid that Paladins in fact can use power components to boost their Dispel magic test, even when its read from a scroll"
Race: Human
Alignment: LN
Class: Ranger (Archery-specialized and armed with poisons from the BoVD)

Mr. Petrol
Mr. Petrol is a very dangerous character to be in the same room with, on a count that he is carrying far too much alchemist fire. That wouldn't be a problem but he is also carrying around flasks of oil that are designed to explode upon impact and spread the oil over a 20-foot radius, the idea being to set it all up for an alchemist fire. Oh, and he's a sorcerer with all the fire-oriented spells, too! This little pyromanic is going to spell doom for the party if not in a blaze of glory, then with his character's fascination with playing around with cursed items and other things that should never be given to an idiot five-year old. Give him a bag of devouring and he'll be juggling it whenever the tavern gets crowded enough, or when the group really, REALLY, doesn't need a bag of devouring landing on the healer's head right at the moment.
Quote: GM: The label says "Volcanic lair lava release valve. Don't touch. Ever." Mr. Petrol: WHHEEEEE!!! *Spins the valve until it falls off*
Another quote: GM: Because of the Necromancer's drought, the forest is now dry and yellow. As you head deeper into the forest hear a rustling in the underbrush. Mr. Petrol: I cast Fireball at the noise! GM: Please tell me that was an obscure spin-off of the "I attack the darkness" joke.
Race: Half-Fire elemental
Alignment: CN
Class: Sorcerer

Quicksilver T'ong
A stealth munchkin. He was the only person who took a class that could heal (better than the Ranger, anyway), a Bard. With an 17 in charisma, maximum ranks in Bluff and Diplomacy, multiple languages, and a few well-chosen illusion and suggestion spells (including Glibness), he is clearly just filling in a niche (Two niches at once actually: Negotiater and healer) that needs to be filled and can't be up to no good, right? Wrong. He's made deals with various sinister underworld organizations and has gathered multiple connections with monster clans that he has convinced to attack farmlands when the party is in the area. He then uses the emergency as a bargaining chip to (under the party's nose) weasal property rights of certain resources in addition to the sum of gold he shares with the party. He handles all negotiations and sometimes leads the party to attack another group of humanoids that his monsters don't like or don't care about. With Suggestion, Change self, and a minor image in the shape of a halfling with the priceless artifact the guards were questioning Quicksilver about under his arm, Mr. T'ong has screwed over countless NPCs.
Quote: *passes the GM a card* GM: *reads the card* Sigh...... Other Players: ?
Race: Elf (Drow)
Alignment: CE (Nondection ring)
Class: Bard

Luthor
The only thing more annoying then his never ending mistrust is his insistance on using Shakespearean quips whenever the GM discribes ANYTHING. For example, the GM will introduce a gelantinous cube and he will shout "A-ha! A jelly of acidic property! I shall slay you now, you oozing fruit of an unholy union!" Telling him the room smells of mildew cues a "What foul miasma is this?" He also kills anyone he detects as evil on sight.
Quote: I do not trust ye, what is thy angle?
Race: Human
Alignment: LG
Class Paladin

Now post your own! :smallwink:

KuReshtin
2007-02-21, 05:59 AM
Albrekt 1

This player is very knowledgable of the game and has played RPGs for ages and ages. He uses the PHB to check rules and make sure they are to his benefit. He does this a lot. Like any time there is a question of definition, he digs out the PHB and looks for the answer.
He also uses the PHB any time his character goes into battle and take ages to decide on just what spell to use, grinding the flow of the game to a screeching halt.
Quotes: "If I throw enlarge on you, it'll give you increased strength bonus. However, the ranger is at -3HP, maybe I should cast a cure light wound on him instead. Or should I just attack the BBEG?"
Class: Cleric
Race: Elf
Alignment: LN


Albrekt2

This Ranger has no ranged attack feats and has gone for the TWF style instead. The player misunderstood the "roll 4d6 and remove the lowest" during character creation and managed to get a STR of 20 and CON of 17. For an elf. When rolling any type of roll, he needs to be told what modifiers to use, even from round to round during battle, using the same weapons throughout.
Quote: Player: "I rolled 13. And for my sword, my bonus is... ummm... +4... Oh, then minus the penalty for TWF, so that's -2."
DM: "So your total?"
Player: "Ummm.. I rolled a 13. So 17. Oh, and -2, so 15 total."
Race: Elf
Class: Ranger
Alignment: NG

Xerillum
2007-02-21, 07:52 AM
shouldn't this be in Gaming?

Aidan305
2007-02-21, 07:57 AM
I don't have Luthor or the Albrekts.

I have all the others though.

Thoughtbot360
2007-02-21, 10:34 AM
I don't have Luthor or the Albrekts.

I have all the others though.

Including Mr. Petrol? How many have died? (PC and innocent bystanders)

Zephra
2007-02-22, 11:14 AM
those are so funny! I am somewhat like Grunk, sorry to say. I still don't know how to do hitpoints for my character.

Druid
2007-02-22, 01:00 PM
Wiremu Mikaere Patariki Tipene
Wiremu's philosophy of gaming is that making a weaker character makes for better roleplaying. He also insists that if you min max at all your rollplaying and therefore incapable of roleplaying (i.e. doing it wrong). Wiremu doesn't care if his character is actually a hindrance to the party because he doesn't think combat should ever occur in a proper game of dungeons and dragons.
Quote: Gah, you’re all munchkins; I'm leaving.
Race: a middle aged, blind kobold
Alignment: LG
Class: Fighter

rollfrenzy
2007-02-22, 01:29 PM
Wiremu Mikaere Patariki Tipene
Wiremu's philosophy of gaming is that making a weaker character makes for better roleplaying. He also insists that if you min max at all your rollplaying and therefore incapable of roleplaying (i.e. doing it wrong). Wiremu doesn't care if his character is actually a hindrance to the party because he doesn't think combat should ever occur in a proper game of dungeons and dragons.
Quote: Gah, you’re all munchkins; I'm leaving.
Race: a middle aged, blind kobold
Alignment: LG
Class: Fighter

I played with this one before. The player made a mute character (that's really annoying, cuz he refused to talk at all during the game.

rollfrenzy
2007-02-22, 01:32 PM
You also forgot slick,
The rogue who's only goal in life is to steal EVERYTHING from the party.
"You don't know I stole it, so you can't be suspicious"

We had a chracter that stole the artifacts we had rested at great personal danger and through an entire half a campaign and sold them to the person we had just beaten.

That Lanky Bugger
2007-02-22, 01:47 PM
My worst was actually a character in a game of Mutants and Masterminds. He was real. Within ten minutes of the start of our first session online, he types the following:

Captain Majestic: Actually being an evil overlord, I drop behind The Edger and Nafrak, and I begin to charge the Magestic Bolt. *rolls Initiative, gets a 17*
GM (me): As you do so, a column of energy falls from the heavens and engulfs you, dissolving your essence in a holy fire.
Captain Majestic: Wait, what?
*GM has banned Captain Majestic from chat*
Nafrak: Nice.

The premise was a superHERO game, and online play works almost as well with two players as three. Plus, in an online game it's pretty easy to set things up for a new player the next week.

Lemur
2007-02-22, 04:27 PM
Both of these are actually based on me to some extent:

Sly McUnstable
Sly fancies himself a strategic genius, but he refuses to let anyone else in the party know of his plans, because "that way it's a surprise". Instead, he tries to predict and manipulate the party's actions so that they go in accordance with his dubious plots. Usually ends up confusing his allies as much as his enemies.
Quote: Sly: Okay, I create an illusionary wall around the carrion crawlers. PC: Do you tell us it's an illusion? Sly: No! The monsters might hear. PC: But... they don't even understand common. Sly: I can't take that chance!
Race: Gnome
Alignment: CN
Class: Illusionist

Mr. Cynical
Mr. Cynical is a bit too obsessed with antiheroes, and is extremely reluctant to go on adventures because he thinks it would be out of character for him to do so. He is extremely critical of any NPC that fits an established archetype, as well as standard plot hooks.
Quote: You want me to save the world, huh? Well isn't that original?
Race: Human
Alignment: N
Class: Fighter

Dausuul
2007-02-22, 04:47 PM
Malcontent the Moody
Malcontent plays a brooding loner. Who broods. Alone. Whenever somebody puts forth a suggestion for what the party should do next, she raises a series of objections and requires at least fifteen minutes of convincing, but she doesn't put forward any suggestions of her own. Likewise, she is uninterested in any of the party's stated goals, but has no goals of her own to pursue either. She goes out of her way to avoid plot hooks and radiates dissatisfaction at all times.
Quote: "Dragons are dangerous. I don't think we should fight the dragon. What did the innocent young princess ever do for us? No, I really don't think it's a good idea."
Race: Half-Elf
Alignment: N
Class: Rogue with lots of Hide and Move Silently

Blaster Battlebrain
Blaster lives in a world where everything exists for one of two purposes: To be destroyed, or to be used in the destruction of other things. When faced with anything that could possibly fall into the first category--including most NPCs--he attacks it using the most direct method available. Whether he stands the slightest chance of winning is irrelevant, the repercussions of his destructive deeds make no difference whatsoever, and he is genuinely baffled when other players object to the fact that he's going to drag them down with him. If the other players decide that discretion is the better part of valor and abandon him to his fate (or worse yet, side with the NPCs against him), he is deeply and personally offended.
Quote: "Hey, if you'd stayed and fought we could totally have taken the great red wyrm. But what do you expect when you all run away? Jeez, you guys suck."
Race: Human
Alignment: CN
Class: Sorcerer with all direct-damage spells

Spaz the Socially Irredeemable
Gamers are not known for their social skills, but Spaz makes most gamers look like James Bond. He has a Charisma of roughly 4--that's the player, not the character--and a penchant for saying things, and having his character do things, that make everyone else at the table really uncomfortable. Nobody but gamers and similar outcasts will have anything to do with him, so his entire social life revolves around The Game. As a result, he insinuates himself into every campaign, despite the fact that everyone else in the group secretly wants him to go away. He's the first one to show up on game night, the last one to leave, and talks incessantly about gaming no matter where he is.
Quote: *graphic and bloody description of what his character is doing with the two prostitutes he's hired, with racial slurs and sexist jokes thrown in*
Race: Elf
Alignment: NE
Class: Any fancy prestige class he can dig up that will make him feel Extra Special

jjpickar
2007-02-22, 05:00 PM
Completely Out of it Man

This guy doesn't pay attention, at all. He sits at the table doing everything but gaming. He can only be stirred to action when it is his turn or everyone has stopped talking (the latter of which never happens). On his turn he looks at the board quizzically and then makes the absolute worst tactical decision ever.

Race: something cool or a human
Class: Something cool or a "broken class"
Alignment: Chaotic clueless

Quote: "Just let me finish this chapter."

Saph
2007-02-22, 05:20 PM
Captain Indecisive

For Captain Indecisive, there's no such thing as an easy decision. He can spend five minutes deciding whether to take a 5-foot step along with his full attack, and five minutes more deciding which square to move to. Captain Indecisive doesn't want to do anything that will make anyone else in the party unhappy, so before he can take an action, he needs to be reassured that everyone in the party agrees with it.
Quote: "Oh, is it still my turn?"
Race: Human
Alignment: CG
Class: Fighter


Wannabe Strategist

This guy loves tactics, and loves advising everyone else and making strategic plans. Unfortunately, he sucks at it. Every plan he comes up with leaves out at least one crucial detail, and he'll execute it wrong as well. He can never restrain himself from giving advice to everyone else during the combat round, no matter how many times the GM tells him not to. If anyone tries to tell him what's wrong with his plans, he explains his plan in even more detail, adding more details and mistakes along the way.
Quote: "No, no, don't do that! What you should do is . . ."
Race: Elf
Alignment: LN
Class: Wizard with an amazing collection of obscure spells that are incredibly complicated to resolve but don't seem to actually do much.


General Tangent

This is the guy for whom the words 'stay on topic' were invented. He never stays in character, ever, and whenever anything in the game reminds him of something from a TV show or a movie or the Internet, he just has to tell everyone about it. He does this about every three minutes, minimum. No amount of persuading, reasoning, or threats of violent death can stop him from making an out-of-character joke. When he plays in the same group as Captain Indecisive and Wannabe Strategist, the simplest combat round takes a minimum of twenty minutes to resolve. Captain Indecisive hesitates. Wannabe Strategist jumps in and suggests something. Someone else disagrees. Wannabe Strategist starts arguing. General Tangent makes a long OOC joke. GM tells Captain Indecisive to make up his mind and act. Captain Indecisive hesitates. Wannabe Strategist jumps in and suggests something . . .
Quote: "Heh, this is just like that owl and panda video. Oh, you don't know about it? Well, it's from this forum I hang out on, and this really cool guy I know from there makes . . ."
Race: Halfling
Alignment: CN
Class: Rogue


- Saph

Mooseman
2007-02-22, 05:25 PM
Ifko- Whines every time a monster attacks his sorceror character who is sniping from the back of the room with magic missiles. Claims that an orc would not run past a melee combatant to smack him, because that's not what orcs do. Also complains that his sorceror has less hit points than everyone else, even with Toughness.

Cobra_Ikari
2007-02-22, 05:58 PM
those are so funny! I am somewhat like Grunk, sorry to say. I still don't know how to do hitpoints for my character.

Aww! Did anyone else notice that Durkon is a Grunk? :P

The_Werebear
2007-02-22, 06:53 PM
Jim the Explorer

This character can not stay focused on anything for longer than 12 seconds before moving onto the next thing. He will wander aimlessly from combat to look at the pretty pictures on the wall.
Quote:Us: Ok, we follow our guide north.
Him(as guide): Oh, I had given up on that. I was just following that butterfly.
Class: Any, so long as it is vital that he be paying attention.
Alignment: N

Captain Everything

This character has the pathological urge to be able to do everything and upstage everyone. He can't stand anyone else being in the spotlight, and will relentlessly run forward to do anything that needs doing, thus denying anyone else the ability to shine. This is even worse because he his horrible at doing anything because he tries to do everything.
Quote: Wait-I'll take care of it. I've got three ranks in that.
Class: Fighter 2/ Bard 2/ Rogue 4/ Wizard 1/ Cleric 1/Ranger 3. Also, at least 1 rank in every skill.
Alignment: Whatever the rest of the party is-He will just try to be better at it.

UglyPanda
2007-02-22, 08:31 PM
The AA member
Race: Dwarf
Rolls to see if he gets drunk. Even when he isn't in a bar. Even if he's out of money. Even if the other PCs are taking turns pickpocketing him.
Alignment: N

The CoC and/or Tomb of Horrors veteran
Race: Human
Believes everything is a trap, every piece of gold is cursed, and every NPC is out to kill him. Usually ends up carrying equipment equal to a fifth of his wealth by level since he refuses to grab any items retrieved in dungeons.
Alignment: NG

The frequent downloader
Race: Five-thirds Drow, seven-ninths miscellaneous
Creates characters almost entirely from third-party sources, including thrid party sources from different settings, editions, and games. Persists in heavily stacking unknown templates. Offers no explanation for when said character's race is incapable of having a functioning family tree.
Alignment: NE

Woot Spitum
2007-02-22, 08:47 PM
AAD&D(Advanced Attention Deficits and Disorders)

A close relative of the Explorer, the AAD&D cannot focus on the current campaign to save his life. Constantly running off on his own to do something, anything not related to the adventure, he will try everything once. Everything, that is, except for participatewith the rest of the party. If there is some vague throw-away NPC around, he will want to know every aspect of their life. The BBEG? Nope, who cares.

Quote:"I want to go to (x) and do (y)."
Race:Gnome
Class:Obscure, Prestige, or both.
Alignment:CN

Hannibal Smith

Sounds like a character from "The A-Team?" It should. He always has a complex plan, except when you find a back door to anything. Then he insists that you chrge through the front door because, "They'll be expecting us to sneak in back. No one goes in the front door."

Quote:"All we need is a plan."
Race:Human
Class:Knight, with the Leadership feat.
Alignment:CG

Arbitrarity
2007-02-22, 08:47 PM
The AA member

The CoC and/or Tomb of Horrors veteran
Race: Human
Believes everything is a trap, every piece of gold is cursed, and every NPC is out to kill him. Usually ends up carrying equipment equal to a fifth of his wealth by level since he refuses to grab any items retrieved in dungeons.
Alignment: NG


I made a character like that once...


"You see a treasure chest"
"I poke it"
"Your finger sticks"
"Augh!!!!! Strength check! Strength check!"

Later...

"You see a small house"
"Someone else touch the door...."
*Everyone disagrees*
"Ok... I touch the door. Does anything happen?"
"Yes. You are instantly disintigrated!! No. Your finger touches the door"
"I... open the door."

Dr. Weasel
2007-02-22, 09:17 PM
Captain Awesome

This player has decided to have the 'coolest' in the party. No descisions are based on alignment or even common sense but some other factor known only as "awesimnity." Should the character encounter a demon, said demon must bear the full brunt of his max-ranked profession(Psychologist). Actually, if any enemy speaks one of his fifteen languages the character will put on his "graduation-cap-thingy" and showcase his perform(condescending reenactment of situation and thorough explination of what was done incorrectly). His only real problem, though, is that all of his feats/skills/monies have gone toward social interaction when the rest of the party is pretty combat-oriented.
Quote:Player: "Wait... this passageway leads into a bank vault? I pound at the door."
DM (I think hoping to finally get the chaotic party up to WBL): "Um, okay. The door slowly opens and two guards peer in, swords drawn."
Player:"I would like to point out this obvious fault in the bank's architecture."
DM: "They glance at the rest of the party loading their pockets and stare at you humorlessly"
Player:"Before any sort of unwelcomed beatings are laid down, I look one of them in the eye and declare that I would like to make a deposit..."
Race:Halfling
Alignment:CG
Class:Bard

Macrovore
2007-02-22, 10:17 PM
Topic^

Here's mine:

Grunk
Grunk, as a character isn't a problem, however, his player has the memory of a goldfish and even after playing the game for five years, still doesn't know the rules.
Quote: "What die do I use for my greataxe's damage again?"
D12: ME! MEEEE! Don't forget about me! I have so few friends....don't take that away from me.
Race: Half-orc
Alignment: N
Class: Barbarian

Skinner
Apparently, he has read the rulesbook one too many times on a particularly long and boring plane ride and now jumps over any GM that strays from the rules. Standard Rules Lawyer that will fuss over any ruling that tries to protect a plot-central character from being tracked down and assasainated by his poison arrows. His knowledge of the rules might have come in handy if he could be buddied up with Grunk, but sadly he refuses point blank because of some unknown out-of-game incident.
Quote: "But I was using Tree shape! I wasn't disguised like a tree, I was a tree, dammit! No spot checks for you!" "Oh, I'm afraid that Paladins in fact can use power components to boost their Dispel magic test, even when its read from a scroll"
Race: Human
Alignment: LN
Class: Ranger (Archery-specialized and armed with poisons from the BoVD)

Mr. Petrol
Mr. Petrol is a very dangerous character to be in the same room with, on a count that he is carrying far too much alchemist fire. That wouldn't be a problem but he is also carrying around flasks of oil that are designed to explode upon impact and spread the oil over a 20-foot radius, the idea being to set it all up for an alchemist fire. Oh, and he's a sorcerer with all the fire-oriented spells, too! This little pyromanic is going to spell doom for the party if not in a blaze of glory, then with his character's fascination with playing around with cursed items and other things that should never be given to an idiot five-year old. Give him a bag of devouring and he'll be juggling it whenever the tavern gets crowded enough, or when the group really, REALLY, doesn't need a bag of devouring landing on the healer's head right at the moment.
Quote: GM: The label says "Volcanic lair lava release valve. Don't touch. Ever." Mr. Petrol: WHHEEEEE!!! *Spins the valve until it falls off*
Another quote: GM: Because of the Necromancer's drought, the forest is now dry and yellow. As you head deeper into the forest hear a rustling in the underbrush. Mr. Petrol: I cast Fireball at the noise! GM: Please tell me that was an obscure spin-off of the "I attack the darkness" joke.
Race: Half-Fire elemental
Alignment: CN
Class: Sorcerer

Quicksilver T'ong
A stealth munchkin. He was the only person who took a class that could heal (better than the Ranger, anyway), a Bard. With an 17 in charisma, maximum ranks in Bluff and Diplomacy, multiple languages, and a few well-chosen illusion and suggestion spells (including Glibness), he is clearly just filling in a niche (Two niches at once actually: Negotiater and healer) that needs to be filled and can't be up to no good, right? Wrong. He's made deals with various sinister underworld organizations and has gathered multiple connections with monster clans that he has convinced to attack farmlands when the party is in the area. He then uses the emergency as a bargaining chip to (under the party's nose) weasal property rights of certain resources in addition to the sum of gold he shares with the party. He handles all negotiations and sometimes leads the party to attack another group of humanoids that his monsters don't like or don't care about. With Suggestion, Change self, and a minor image in the shape of a halfling with the priceless artifact the guards were questioning Quicksilver about under his arm, Mr. T'ong has screwed over countless NPCs.
Quote: *passes the GM a card* GM: *reads the card* Sigh...... Other Players: ?
Race: Elf (Drow)
Alignment: CE (Nondection ring)
Class: Bard

Luthor
The only thing more annoying then his never ending mistrust is his insistance on using Shakespearean quips whenever the GM discribes ANYTHING. For example, the GM will introduce a gelantinous cube and he will shout "A-ha! A jelly of acidic property! I shall slay you now, you oozing fruit of an unholy union!" Telling him the room smells of mildew cues a "What foul miasma is this?" He also kills anyone he detects as evil on sight.
Quote: I do not trust ye, what is thy angle?
Race: Human
Alignment: LG
Class Paladin

Now post your own! :smallwink:
y'know, these guys (except luthor), look a lot like the party in 8-bit theater:
Grunk=Fighter
Skinner=Red Mage
Mr. Petrol=Black Mage
Quicksilver=Thief

Fawsto
2007-02-22, 10:43 PM
Kyeiothic Ivol

Kyeothic is the kind of guy who uses his alignment as a reason to do whatever he wants. He likes to leave the fighting to the party members as he likes to call them "useful stupid meatshields" and use his "cunning habilities in the arts of the shadows", again, as he likes to call his hide and move silently skills to bypass the enemies and steal as much as possible of the hidden treasure before the other party mambers have the oportunity to find it. He also will kill anyone in his way, just for the hell of it always saying "he was geopardizing the party". He only talks before killing if he can get any profit with it.
quote: "I am following my alligment!"
alignment: CE
race: any
class: rogue or barbarian, the one who can kill more things and make more profit.

Thoughtbot360
2007-02-22, 11:09 PM
y'know, these guys (except luthor), look a lot like the party in 8-bit theater:
Grunk=Fighter
Skinner=Red Mage
Mr. Petrol=Black Mage
Quicksilver=Thief

Actually, Mr. Petrol is just crazy and controlled by a player who just wants to be funny. The problem is, his jokes come at the expense of a TPK. He may very well destroy the world, but it will be entirely by accident. The player will, however, do everything in his power to increase the probability of some sort of "accident" occuring. Red mage is more of a cheating (Changes his stats around and fakes skills he doesn't have) Munchkin than a Rules Lawyer. The others, I do see a resemblence....

Also, NEW QUESTION!

How much would you pay for a ticket to see all the problem characters listed above fight it out in a deadly Free-for-all? I think it'd be so awesome. It might not last too long before a Mr. Petrol-related-accident has them all burning to death, but hey, you don't even NEED time to get drunk to enjoy those fireworks.

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-02-22, 11:30 PM
Kegger, with the power to be drunk and/or high!

This guy refuses to play in a state of mind that isn't somehow warped thanks to some chemical or another. He claims he gets into it more that way or some other complete nonsense that becomes apparent when he's either asleep, can't stop laughing, or is far more interested in his figurine then the game. This guy is always invited by a single member of the group and is such a burden that the whole group usually gets angry at the guy that brought him even more then Kegger himself. As an added bonus, this guy usually talks way too much when he's actually sober.
Quote: "We should get some... uh... haha, I am totally wasted. *snore*"
Class: Ninja, Swashbuckler, or Ninja/Swashbuckler
Race: Whatever makes the least sense
Alignment: CN

Kosmopolite
2007-02-22, 11:38 PM
General Tangent

This is the guy for whom the words 'stay on topic' were invented. He never stays in character, ever, and whenever anything in the game reminds him of something from a TV show or a movie or the Internet, he just has to tell everyone about it. He does this about every three minutes, minimum. No amount of persuading, reasoning, or threats of violent death can stop him from making an out-of-character joke. When he plays in the same group as Captain Indecisive and Wannabe Strategist, the simplest combat round takes a minimum of twenty minutes to resolve. Captain Indecisive hesitates. Wannabe Strategist jumps in and suggests something. Someone else disagrees. Wannabe Strategist starts arguing. General Tangent makes a long OOC joke. GM tells Captain Indecisive to make up his mind and act. Captain Indecisive hesitates. Wannabe Strategist jumps in and suggests something . . .
Quote: "Heh, this is just like that owl and panda video. Oh, you don't know about it? Well, it's from this forum I hang out on, and this really cool guy I know from there makes . . ."
Race: Halfling
Alignment: CN
Class: Rogue


- Saph


When they're in the mood, this can represent most of my usual group.

Not a Paladin
2007-02-23, 12:03 AM
Here goes:

Sir Roleplaying Failure
This guy makes all sorts of characters--everything from a Chaotic Neutral half-Orc Barbarian to a True Neutral Elven Wizard--but he doesn't know how to roleplay anything interesting. There's one personality for this guy's characters, and it's "generic".
Quote: "My Barbarian character exclaims, 'We've got to hurry up and save the King before the ogres kill him!'" (when said Barbarian only has 6 Intelligence)
Race: Any
Class: Any
Alignment: Any, but he can only act like a True Neutral character

Lord High Miniature Placement Ignorer
This guy always uses the strongest spells with the widest range, but fails to take into account the existence of his allies. Thus, he ends up killing many of his partners with his spells, to the point where the DM won't let him play as anything with any shot at using area damage abilities.
Quote: "I cast a Meteor Swarm into the battle, hoping to catch a few enemies in the blast...what do you mean it can't tell allies from enemies?"
Race: Whatever helps his magic abilities the most
Class: Any spellcasting class that gets area spells
Alignment: Any, but the DM forces him to become Chaotic Neutral after he single-handedly kills off everyone except the Rogue with Evasion

Joe McKleptomania
If it's not nailed down and on fire, he'll steal it. If it is nailed down and on fire, he'll steal it anyway. Doesn't understand why his allies don't help him out when he has the town guard out for his head.
Quote: "That evil altar should fetch a handsome price...I steal it."
Race: Halfling
Class: Rogue
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

J the Necromancer
He plays a Cleric, but he chose to rebuke undead instead of turning them. He also prepares no healing spells, because that would be one less undead controlling spell. Domains are anything to do with death and necromancy.
Quote: "But then I wouldn't be able to cast Animate Dead as much!"
Race: Any
Class: Cleric
Alignment: Any Evil

NOTE: The above characters are all fictional (I hope, I pray).

alchemy.freak
2007-02-23, 12:11 AM
4 half orc barbarians

DM: "the innocent looking bystander walks through the door"

"I KILL IT!, he's dead"

DM: "sigh"

F.H. Zebedee
2007-02-23, 12:25 AM
Oh lordy. General Tangent and Spaz the Socially Irredeemable both are present in full force at my group.

J_Muller
2007-02-23, 01:18 AM
Sir Lancelot the Brave
Responds to any situation with direct, brute force. His first instinct when faced with a dilemma is to kill the nearest NPC, be it friend or foe. If presented with a "fight or flight" situation, he will invariably choose to fight, no matter what the odds. Believes himself to be brave, grand, and heroic.
Quote:
NPC: The Princess is being held hostage in that castle over there...
SLtB: I draw my sword and charge towards it.
DM: ...there are a dozen guards in front of the castle, plus two clerics and a wizard.
Other PCs: We stay back.
SLtB: I charge and attack them.

Jade_Tarem
2007-02-23, 01:27 AM
The CoC and/or Tomb of Horrors veteran
Race: Human
Believes everything is a trap, every piece of gold is cursed, and every NPC is out to kill him. Usually ends up carrying equipment equal to a fifth of his wealth by level since he refuses to grab any items retrieved in dungeons.
Alignment: NG

Hey! Let's see YOU go through Tomb of Horrors and pretend like it didn't bother you, like things can go back to normal. In ToH paranoia isn't just a good idea - it's the law.

Sample ToH Encounter EL "9" (bull).

Player 1: "I inhale... There isn't a trap on the air, right?"
DM: "Wrong, make a fortitude save vs. poison. Is it a natural 20? Too bad."
Player 2: "Gahh! I hold my breath and cast remove poison on Player 1!"
DM: "Devil Monkeys fly out of the rear end of the statue in the center of the room and counterspell your remove poison using advanced laser technology. Also you turn into a flounder."
Player 2: "What the f-"
DM: "And explode."

KingEridani
2007-02-23, 01:59 AM
KK sorry if someone has posted something similar to these, but I'm too damn lazy to read every single thing. (I also should get back to writing but whatev)

the worst of the worst.
crimnal parties,
absolute Choatic parties

Criminal party 1: Sign here
with a high forgery check, and some charm person, and of course other thiatrics such as disgiuse self if you just want to be king for a day, you can take over the world... three level 8s. three. a Sorcerer, a Bard, and a Rouge... yeah yeah, mister charsima 22billion we all know you look like the king, yes mr bastard we know you can take 20 on forgery, and no mister sorcerer explosive runes not help. nuff said



Criminal party 2: Ocean's Eleven
when you get a big party going and during Character creation one guy says, "I have a cunning plan." which always ends in an all rouge party all honing thier skills in different ways. those bastards.... craft alchemy does not include C4


Criminal party 3: Convicts
same idea as above only instead of taking down casinos they'll be taking down local law enforcment. "hey guys lets all be escaped convicts from the same prison!:smallsigh: " ****ers....



Ablsoute Chaotic and evil coming up. too tired and need finish writ chapter 5..... ****ing little mermaid... so slleppy

The Orange Zergling
2007-02-23, 02:19 AM
Legoluas
Legoluas has no imagination whatsoever. He has no interest in the game, but is there anyway, probably because of the free food. He knows the rules well enough, but never roleplays and has little to no imagination. As a character, he does whatever he feels like at the moment.
Alignment: True Neutral
Class/Race: Elf Ranger

Sinep
The adolescent in the group who plays a really sluttish female human/elf sorceress. It seems his character must find a way to have sex/a gratuitous makeout scene in every session. Out of character he makes a ton of really bad crude jokes.
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Race/Class: Elf/Half Elf/Human Sorceress

Nosgelrth Illuminati
The heavy roleplayer. While not bad in itself, combined with the rest of the group, this dude is a nightmare. Always critisizing Legoluas on his lack of roleplaying, Sinep on his character's behaviour, and every single flaw in any character they come across. Nosgelrth's character varies every adventure, as he enjoys trying different things every campaign.
Alignment: Varies
Race/Class: Varies

Bob McIwindnd
The powergamer/munchkin. McIwindnd plays obscene combos that no sane DM would allow, and when the DM forbids his character builds he whines and threatens to leave. He never roleplays, he rollplays. He only cares about how much damage he can dish out and how much gold he gets after an adventure, so he can buy better gear.
Alignment: True Neutral
Race/Class: Whatever is really cheesey

BDO
2007-02-23, 02:26 AM
Mr. good Drow
He is totally into the optics and abilities of the drow, but refuses to take the penalties, namingly playing an evil character and facing the consequences. Favors the ranger class.

Mr. bad Drow
Likes to play drow just as much as Mr. good drow, but bathes in the evil- and wickedness of the drow, not wanting to think about the consequences for the party...

Mr. I've got one...!
Is capable of playing almost every class from PHB and proves it. Changes his characters more regularly than a standard rollplayer changes his underwear...

Mr. I always liked this...!
Is in favour of strange/weird/exotic classes/class combinations and/or feats/spells. Ever seen a Wizard/Fighter/Rogue with Two-Weapon Fighting?

Tor the Fallen
2007-02-23, 02:55 AM
Malcontent the Moody
Malcontent plays a brooding loner. Who broods. Alone. Whenever somebody puts forth a suggestion for what the party should do next, she raises a series of objections and requires at least fifteen minutes of convincing, but she doesn't put forward any suggestions of her own. Likewise, she is uninterested in any of the party's stated goals, but has no goals of her own to pursue either. She goes out of her way to avoid plot hooks and radiates dissatisfaction at all times.
Quote: "Dragons are dangerous. I don't think we should fight the dragon. What did the innocent young princess ever do for us? No, I really don't think it's a good idea."
Race: Half-Elf
Alignment: N
Class: Rogue with lots of Hide and Move Silently

That's actually a pretty good build for CoC.

HealthKit
2007-02-23, 02:57 AM
These are pbp characters mind you.

The Plucky Hero.
A real Mr. Happy go lucky character that talks and talks and talks. Too cheerful for his own good. Does not shut up. Ever. Annoying as heck. Usually a gnome or halfling.

Emo McAngstyGoth.
A real angsty, dark, brooding character. Has multiple personalities and/or voices in his heads. Though he hardly ever talks to other character he makes up for in telling said voices to quite down. Usually some sort of wizard/warlock or rogue.

Tor the Fallen
2007-02-23, 03:03 AM
Smashy McSmash

A character that revels in easy fights, whihc mostly amounts to laying waste to towns of NPCs. Quick draw and great cleave are the favored feats. You know, for those crowded taverns.

DM: "The barkeep asks you what you would like to-"
Smashy McSmash: "I go into a rage and power attack his face off. Then I cleave through his bar."
AA member: "I get drunk!"

Alignment: Chaotic Aggressive
Class: Barbarian/Frenzied Berserker

MacGuyver

Using only a bit of string, a rusty fish hook, a candelabra, and left over cloaker pieces, he single handedly foils the Drow warcamp's invasion.

His character worshippers MacGuyver "The Mulleted Improviser"

Quote: "I role my bardic lore to see what MacGuyver would have done...."
Alignment: Neutral Out There
Class: Bard

The Pack Rat
Pack rats carry a lot of stuff. They're the ones with everything in the Equipment&Adventuring section of the PHB, including the wooden barrel, and a backup wooden barrel.

The amount of extradimensional space on them is enough to tear a hole in reality.

Any flavor description of furnishings results with a "I put it in my handy haversack. What? It's not like the evil cultists we slew are going to be needing this anytime soon."
The party: "... I... it's a... do you even know where that small cactus must have been?"

No matter what the party kills, the Pack Rat will always, always loot it. Even if there's no loot.
"I pull its teeth out with my +2 pliers of dentistry, and put them with the rest of my teeth. And I guess I'll take its tail, too."

While the philosophical antithesis to the MacGuyver, Pack Rats and MacGuyvers get along surpringly well. This is in large part because they enjoy overcoming problems in novel aways, often for the price of an 11-foot pole and two egg shells. Pack Rats also tend to carry most of the material a MacGuyver needs to work his magic.

Often, MacGuyvers and Pack Rats come as one and the same.

Quote: "Wait, it must be in my other bag of holding."
Alignment: Neurotic
Class: Any

Hadrian_Emrys
2007-02-23, 04:14 AM
Bullet Tooth Tony

This paragon of self preservation has a pathological fear of negative numbers. Tony cares for one thing, and one thing only: himself. Violence scares him to death and risk is a four letter word. His habits include running away at the first sign of a possibility of a random encounter and urging others to take point while he "covers the rear". When actually forced to fight, his untouchable AC build and feat upped saves make him a useless, yet difficult player to strike down.
Race: Halfling
Class: Monk


Whitedove Peacenik

When the world needs heroes to rise to the challange of taking down a great evil, White is just one step ahead...

-in the blast radius trying to talk the invading zombie force into surrendering. Mr. Peacenik never really grasped the concept of fighting, his whole build revolves around the philosophy that all conflict can be avoided with drawn out conversations, and trying to understand the feelings of your enemy. His habits include getting in the way. Crying when weapons are drawn, and getting fished out of the remains of an ooze with a half dissolved olive branch still grasped firmly in hand.
Race: Half-Elf
Class: Bard, Cleric, or Druid

Illiterate Scribe
2007-02-23, 04:36 AM
Whitedove Peacenik

When the world needs heroes to rise to the challange of taking down a great evil, White is just one step ahead...

-in the blast radius trying to talk the invading zombie force into surrendering. Mr. Peacenik never really grasped the concept of fighting, his whole build revolves around the philosophy that all conflict can be avoided with drawn out conversations, and trying to understand the feelings of your enemy. His habits include getting in the way. Crying when weapons are drawn, and getting fished out of the remains of an ooze with a half dissolved olive branch still grasped firmly in hand.
Race: Half-Elf
Class: Bard, Cleric, or Druid

These characters can be very funny, if well played - fear his/her Diplomacy-fu!

Saph
2007-02-23, 06:33 AM
Whitedove Peacenik

When the world needs heroes to rise to the challange of taking down a great evil, White is just one step ahead...

-in the blast radius trying to talk the invading zombie force into surrendering. Mr. Peacenik never really grasped the concept of fighting, his whole build revolves around the philosophy that all conflict can be avoided with drawn out conversations, and trying to understand the feelings of your enemy.

A milder version of this can actually be a lot of fun, provided it's deliberate (the player knows the olive branch isn't going to work, but he also knows it's going to be funny for everyone else to watch).

See, the way to make it useful is to set things up so that while Whitedove is up front trying to convince the drow priestess that sacrificing people isn't nice, the rest of the party are getting ready to collapse the temple on her head. :)

- Saph

GolemsVoice
2007-02-23, 06:48 AM
Mr. Imagination.
The player always tries to be something different. Though that is not bad as such, and he also can handle the roleplaying difficulites, sometimes his characters
a) don't make sense or
b) are unbelievably difficult to create using the rules.
Whether it's a paladin who has both celestial and demonic blood in his body, or a half golem riding a bison as a warhorse, he will play it if it's original enough. If he manages to get a class/race/template combo that suits his imagination, he will spend hours on feats, weapons and skills, so that his character is truly original.
Quotes:
"If iI play a drow and take the hal illithid template...."
"Why can't I play a warforged/half golem/aasimar?"
"This feat is definitely cool... man, it sucks.."

toddex
2007-02-23, 08:24 AM
Sir Lancelot the Brave
Responds to any situation with direct, brute force. His first instinct when faced with a dilemma is to kill the nearest NPC, be it friend or foe. If presented with a "fight or flight" situation, he will invariably choose to fight, no matter what the odds. Believes himself to be brave, grand, and heroic.
Quote:
NPC: The Princess is being held hostage in that castle over there...
SLtB: I draw my sword and charge towards it.
DM: ...there are a dozen guards in front of the castle, plus two clerics and a wizard.
Other PCs: We stay back.
SLtB: I charge and attack them.

I LOVE playing characters like this, it always back fires, but its really fun for me lol.

In a d20 modern game, I couldve used my rope and climbed to the next box in a warehouse or! Make a running jump to the other box using heroic surge to use another action point and still fail. My limp body infont of the troll who now notices I have a greatsword (Nothing more fun then wielding a sword in a modern setting) picks it up and now is armed vs my party.

GolemsVoice
2007-02-23, 10:40 AM
Actually, for all of you capable of understanding the german language, here are some funny stereotypes I found on the web.
http://lustigesrollenspiel.de/index.php?option=com_ponygallery&Itemid=99999999&func=viewcategory&catid=3
Maybe the pictures say enough...

Lidjis
2007-02-23, 10:45 AM
Jabba

A lifetime of computer and tabletop gaming have made this gamer disgustingly fat. Generally sits at the table with his head slumped slightly left and his eyes half shut. Only sits up during his round of combat to do an elaborate eldritch-blast-chain-spell combo. Alternatively plays a gish whose only strategy is "polymorph into hydra then wraithstrike and full attack."
Class- That one new class that lets you multiclass warlock and sorcerer.
Race- gives him a lot of bonuses that don't actually make his character any better at the only thing he does.

Jayabalard
2007-02-23, 11:17 AM
Bullet Tooth Tony

This paragon of self preservation has a pathological fear of negative numbers. Tony cares for one thing, and one thing only: himself. Violence scares him to death and risk is a four letter word. His habits include running away at the first sign of a possibility of a random encounter and urging others to take point while he "covers the rear". When actually forced to fight, his untouchable AC build and feat upped saves make him a useless, yet difficult player to strike down.
Race: Halfling
Class: Monk


Whitedove Peacenik

When the world needs heroes to rise to the challange of taking down a great evil, White is just one step ahead...

-in the blast radius trying to talk the invading zombie force into surrendering. Mr. Peacenik never really grasped the concept of fighting, his whole build revolves around the philosophy that all conflict can be avoided with drawn out conversations, and trying to understand the feelings of your enemy. His habits include getting in the way. Crying when weapons are drawn, and getting fished out of the remains of an ooze with a half dissolved olive branch still grasped firmly in hand.
Race: Half-Elf
Class: Bard, Cleric, or Druid
I think it's kind of sad seeing these sort of characters ID's as "nightmare players" ...

UglyPanda
2007-02-23, 05:23 PM
Hey! Let's see YOU go through Tomb of Horrors and pretend like it didn't bother you
...
I've skimmed through the module once, it would make Lovecroft paranoid. I was simply paying my respects to one of the best dungeon crawls ever made.

The following on true stories with details left out so as not to embarrass said person.
The over-reactor
A cousin of the ToH veteran, the over-reactor typically over-roleplays mundane situations and or takes anything as a clue to some non-existent over-arcing plot.

[DM]Your sword did no damage to the monk.
[Over-reactor]Well, my character doesn't know anything about monks, so he doesn't know they have damage reduction.
[Different player]Well did he damage the clothes or did his sword bounce off?
[DM]He damaged the clothes.
[Over-reactor]I'm going to make a sanity check.

[DM]There is a pentagram on the floor.
*Next session and an hour later*
[Over-reactor]I'm still looking at the symbol. OOC, so what could this mean guys?

Alignment:Never good
Class:Never Paladin
Race:Never anything with a strength bonus

The pokemon
This player is incapable of making good decisions on their own and must be explicitly told what to do in order to be able to be productive in combat. If he/she does make a decent action, it was either: thought out for five hours in the week between sessions; thought out for ten minutes during combat; fudged by the DM; broke a dozen rules; or completely random.

[DM]The soldier screams "The eyes, the eyes!"
...
[DM]Is your torch magical?
[Slightly smarter player]Yes.
[DM]It goes out.
...
*After that session*
[Pokemon]I asked the DM for you if we were fighting a beholder, we're not.
...
[DM]There is a glass staff by the nest of eggs. You hear a voice "Look who is coming for dinner"
[Pokemon]We're fighting birds?
[Several others]They're beholders! With a S!
*Next session*
[Pokemon]I command the Ranger to turn this glass rod into a prism!
*Anger, grumbles and corrections follow*
[Slightly smarter player]*Looks at Pokemon's spell list for thirty seconds* Cast blindness.
Alignment:Any
Class and race:Slightly maximized and 75% of sheet created by another person.

J_Muller
2007-02-23, 06:39 PM
Actually, for all of you capable of understanding the german language, here are some funny stereotypes I found on the web.
http://lustigesrollenspiel.de/index.php?option=com_ponygallery&Itemid=99999999&func=viewcategory&catid=3
Maybe the pictures say enough...

Once again foreign languages FTW. My thanks to Germans for labeling goths "white wolves".

Arbitrarity
2007-02-23, 11:34 PM
Thief. This Thief. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Light_Warriors_%288-Bit_Theater%29)

High forgery, social skills, sleight of hand, and all stealthy abilities, runs what he can't death attack, asks for houseruled non-evil assasin (stupid flavour text), claims he's chaotic neutral.

Steals from the party, forges signatures, calls judges, paralyzes party members, kills reincarnated NPC's other characters liked, seduces random women (alter self :)), and runs an assasin's guild.

Just had a character like this. Actually, very funny, though everyone else got screwed over :D.

Quote: "Hah! 73 on my bluff check!"
Class: Assassin
Alignment: "Chaotic Neutral" *cough* (True if you replace neutral with EVIL)

clericwithnogod
2007-02-24, 03:58 AM
Mr. Petrol
Mr. Petrol is a very dangerous character to be in the same room with, on a count that he is carrying far too much alchemist fire. That wouldn't be a problem but he is also carrying around flasks of oil that are designed to explode upon impact and spread the oil over a 20-foot radius, the idea being to set it all up for an alchemist fire. Oh, and he's a sorcerer with all the fire-oriented spells, too! This little pyromanic is going to spell doom for the party if not in a blaze of glory, then with his character's fascination with playing around with cursed items and other things that should never be given to an idiot five-year old. Give him a bag of devouring and he'll be juggling it whenever the tavern gets crowded enough, or when the group really, REALLY, doesn't need a bag of devouring landing on the healer's head right at the moment.
Quote: GM: The label says "Volcanic lair lava release valve. Don't touch. Ever." Mr. Petrol: WHHEEEEE!!! *Spins the valve until it falls off*
Another quote: GM: Because of the Necromancer's drought, the forest is now dry and yellow. As you head deeper into the forest hear a rustling in the underbrush. Mr. Petrol: I cast Fireball at the noise! GM: Please tell me that was an obscure spin-off of the "I attack the darkness" joke.
Race: Half-Fire elemental
Alignment: CN
Class: Sorcerer


C'mon now... Nuclear Dans are wonderful. Casting a fireball at the noise is a useful and valuable tactic, particularly for Warmages with the Contingent Spell feat, who can do it all night long. They could do it in the day as well, but the flames are so much prettier at night...and the smell of burning flesh seems much sweeter when carried by the cool, damp, air.

Mr. Sissy

Mr. Sissy is the stereotypical stand-in-back-and-heal cleric. Mr. Sissy casts nothing but defensive spells and buffs on other characters. He dumpstats STR , INT and DEX. He maxes WIS and CHA to try to eke out one more bonus spell he can use on cures and get that extra +1 on his turning check. He uses clericky weapons - as poorly as possible. He wears heavy armor, making it difficult or impossible for him to move far enough to reach the party members in a bad situation and cast in the same round. He offsets this by taking feats and prestige classes to enable him to heal at range, with his ultimate goal being to hide in back and serve as a walking battery for the rest of the party. Upon accomplishing this goal, Mr. Sissy will often quit, as the boredom inherent in the role overwhelms him. Mr. Sissy often plays characters with abysmally low stats to further enable his martyrdom. When anyone else plays a cleric when Mr. Sissy's player is playing another class, the player of Mr. Sissy will complain everytime the cleric does something other than heal, doesn't have a certain spell memmed (regardless of how long it has been since there has been even the slightest use for said spell), or doesn't take the Healing Domain.
Race: Human (Mr. Sissy will use his bonus feat on Skill Focus:Healing or a Turning feat).
Feats: Mr. Sissy will take metamagic feats almost exclusively, but may dump feats into turning just because they are "cleric feats". Mr. Sissy is all about being apprpriately clericky (as he sees it). Despite all his metamagic feats, Mr. Sissy never has any useful spells for combat.
Class: Cleric (Mr. Sissy will take the Healing Domain and the Protection Domain.) Mr. Sissy for some reason disdains the Healer class.
Prestige Options: Mr. Sissy generally disdains prestige classes as well, particularly those that don't advance his ability to Turn Undead. Exceptions may be made for a level or two of Heirophant and maybe Combat Medic, though because "combat" is part of the name, Mr. Sissy may refuse to even consider it. Mr. Sissy complains about any party member who doesn't limit themselves to being as one dimensional as he is.
Quote: "I cure Fred Fighter for X points of damage." "I attack the whatever with my morning star [rolls D20-1] and miss." "I attack the whatever with my Light Crossbow [rolls D20-1] and miss."

The Leech

The Leech plays characters that don't actually function until 11th level...usually some type of Gish or other class combination that is grossly ineffective and fragile at lower levels. Oftentimes, the Leech has a concept that never matures, and he remains a burden for the length of the campaign.
Race: Elf (That CON penalty makes him nice and fragile and is hard to resist).
Feats: Those needed for prereqs and the rest for "flavor."
Class: Something/Caster or Caster/Caster.
Quote: "Did I stabilize?"

Mr. Perfect

Mr. Perfect will never take anything but the optimal ability for any selection. Anyone who does so is obviously not as smart as Mr. Perfect. Mr. Perfect will constantly complain that the other party members aren't pulling their weight. Mr. Perfect will never make any of his own character choices with an eye toward working with others. Mr. Perfect wants it to be clear that he's the star. Softening a group of enemies up with a couple Fireballs and letting the fighter and monk finish them off in one or two rounds isn't as effective as casting a save or die every round for four rounds - because Mr. Perfect isn't getting all the credit.
Race: Human (or Dwarf for certain builds)
Class: Wizard, Druid or Cleric. Sometimes a melee character, but only one or two optimal builds.
Quote: "You idiot, you should never give up a caster level!" "That feat is worse than this one, it's stupid to take a weaker feat!"

Black Swan
2007-02-24, 05:03 AM
The last party I was in was nothing but problem players. Including myself. :D

member 1: Sir Bland-a-Lot
Can't roleplay to save his life. So incredibly boring that the only way he can inject life into a game is to bring crystal meth and make everyone smoke it at gunpoint. (Or start a Johnny Cash sing-along. That was fun.) He played (go figure) the most boring sword-and-board fighter ever.

member 2: basically The Leech from the guy above. Played a halfling bard who wanted to use 'killing joke' from some wierd book or other. So he was geared around killing something every three rounds at 16th level. And was woefully inadequate mechanically at the level we were at (5). The campaign ended when I PK'd him.

member 3: Captain Kill 'em All
A buddy of mine who I got to join the game to offset the blandness of Sir Bland-a-Lot and the mechanical inadequacy of The Leech. Played Judge Dredd, wrapped up as a cleric of St. Cuthbert. "Local magistrate? Why bother? I serve the deity of justice. Off with his head!"

member 4: Look at me, I'm Evil!
I played a technically-chaotic neutral wizard who leaned evil so hard that I'm still surprised the DM didn't just grab my char sheet, say that Hungry Jack was now an NPC and make me reroll. (the fate of chars turned evil there) Typical wizard with the typical area save-or-suck spells and typical battlefield control stuff, with summons for damage. If there's a way to do something that involves killing, he's down with it. If there's a way to screw someone over, he's down with it. If there's a way to increase his power, irregardless of the cost, he's down with it.

We were ten different kinds of dysfunctional. Then the DM threw a dungeon at us which was more or less designed for a TPK because she was sick of the dysfunctionality and wanted to kill everyone and start over.

cupkeyk
2007-02-24, 06:38 AM
w00t, I am a Kegger.

KingEridani
2007-02-26, 01:24 AM
Smashy McSmash

A character that revels in easy fights, whihc mostly amounts to laying waste to towns of NPCs. Quick draw and great cleave are the favored feats. You know, for those crowded taverns.

DM: "The barkeep asks you what you would like to-"
Smashy McSmash: "I go into a rage and power attack his face off. Then I cleave through his bar."
AA member: "I get drunk!"

Alignment: Chaotic Aggressive
Class: Barbarian/Frenzied Berserker

MacGuyver

Using only a bit of string, a rusty fish hook, a candelabra, and left over cloaker pieces, he single handedly foils the Drow warcamp's invasion.

His character worshippers MacGuyver "The Mulleted Improviser"

Quote: "I role my bardic lore to see what MacGuyver would have done...."
Alignment: Neutral Out There
Class: Bard

The Pack Rat
Pack rats carry a lot of stuff. They're the ones with everything in the Equipment&Adventuring section of the PHB, including the wooden barrel, and a backup wooden barrel.

The amount of extradimensional space on them is enough to tear a hole in reality.

Any flavor description of furnishings results with a "I put it in my handy haversack. What? It's not like the evil cultists we slew are going to be needing this anytime soon."
The party: "... I... it's a... do you even know where that small cactus must have been?"

No matter what the party kills, the Pack Rat will always, always loot it. Even if there's no loot.
"I pull its teeth out with my +2 pliers of dentistry, and put them with the rest of my teeth. And I guess I'll take its tail, too."

While the philosophical antithesis to the MacGuyver, Pack Rats and MacGuyvers get along surpringly well. This is in large part because they enjoy overcoming problems in novel aways, often for the price of an 11-foot pole and two egg shells. Pack Rats also tend to carry most of the material a MacGuyver needs to work his magic.

Often, MacGuyvers and Pack Rats come as one and the same.

Quote: "Wait, it must be in my other bag of holding."
Alignment: Neurotic
Class: Any

Okay you have MacGuyver all wrong.... ALL wrong....

A: never a bard, always a rouge, with craft (everything) a skill where you simply make a roll on a logically concieved tool.

B: he never uses pre-stored items, never! Macguyver only whats at hand, like the ogre's loincloth and a leg bone to form a torch.
or even to take an empty flask fill it with beer, stick it in whatever ranged ammo quiver he is currently using, stick a piece of ripped rag from his shirt out the end and brace the bottom with his buckler and bam.... bazooka.
but always the items are at hand and never need storing

anyway continuing where i left off last time.

absolute parties are bitches!
absolute evil parties:
"hey look that peasent is a lower class than me! he deserves to die and i shall sacrifice him later to the dark gods. hey look that noble is a higher class than me! he deserves to die!" "oh so the gold that you're planing to pay is with is coming in on a caravan eh? where is this caravan, to the north you say? *stab* thanks for the reward"

abosolute chaotic:
think a party of umber-hulks.

And then of course there is the oppisite.

pally-party:
think miko... a whole lot of them. and only this time they all think the entire party is evil too!

Mewtarthio
2007-02-26, 01:46 AM
Criminal party 1: Sign here
with a high forgery check, and some charm person, and of course other thiatrics such as disgiuse self if you just want to be king for a day, you can take over the world... three level 8s. three. a Sorcerer, a Bard, and a Rouge... yeah yeah, mister charsima 22billion we all know you look like the king, yes mr bastard we know you can take 20 on forgery, and no mister sorcerer explosive runes not help. nuff said

Actually, you can't:



Forgery (Int)

Check

Forgery requires writing materials appropriate to the document being forged, enough light or sufficient visual acuity to see the details of what you’re writing, wax for seals (if appropriate), and some time. To forge a document on which the handwriting is not specific to a person (military orders, a government decree, a business ledger, or the like), you need only to have seen a similar document before, and you gain a +8 bonus on your check. To forge a signature, you need an autograph of that person to copy, and you gain a +4 bonus on the check. To forge a longer document written in the hand of some particular person, a large sample of that person’s handwriting is needed.
The Forgery check is made secretly, so that you’re not sure how good your forgery is. As with Disguise (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/skills/disguise.htm), you don’t even need to make a check until someone examines the work. Your Forgery check is opposed by the Forgery check of the person who examines the document to check its authenticity. The examiner gains modifiers on his or her check if any of the conditions on the table below exist.
A document that contradicts procedure, orders, or previous knowledge, or one that requires sacrifice on the part of the person checking the document can increase that character’s suspicion (and thus create favorable circumstances for the checker’s opposing Forgery check).
See also: epic usages (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/epic/skills.htm#forgery) of Forgery.

The emphasized part essentially means you only get one roll (if you don't know how well you did, you don't know if you need to retry), therefore you can't take twenty.

Also note:



Try Again

Usually, no. A retry is never possible after a particular reader detects a particular forgery. But the document created by the forger might still fool someone else. The result of a Forgery check for a particular document must be used for every instance of a different reader examining the document. No reader can attempt to detect a particular forgery more than once; if that one opposed check goes in favor of the forger, then the reader can’t try using his own skill again, even if he’s suspicious about the document.

Just a reminder: That last part implies that the recipient can be suspicious of the document. If you produce a document claiming that you, the most horrible killer in the world, have been personally invited to the royal ball by the king himself, the guards are going to pass it around to see if it really is legit and give it to the resident Forgery expert if they don't see anything wrong with it. If it's something really drastic, like an order to go to war and slaughter all the infants from a pacifistic king, the recipient may even refuse to carry out the order without personal confirmation from the king himself (which is where disguise comes in--Pity Spot's so much more common than Forgery, and that everyone gets to make a check instead of people closely examining you).

MaxKaladin
2007-02-26, 05:17 PM
Wiremu Mikaere Patariki Tipene
Wiremu's philosophy of gaming is that making a weaker character makes for better roleplaying. He also insists that if you min max at all your rollplaying and therefore incapable of roleplaying (i.e. doing it wrong). Wiremu doesn't care if his character is actually a hindrance to the party because he doesn't think combat should ever occur in a proper game of dungeons and dragons.
Quote: Gah, you’re all munchkins; I'm leaving.
Race: a middle aged, blind kobold
Alignment: LG
Class: Fighter


Bullet Tooth Tony

This paragon of self preservation has a pathological fear of negative numbers. Tony cares for one thing, and one thing only: himself. Violence scares him to death and risk is a four letter word. His habits include running away at the first sign of a possibility of a random encounter and urging others to take point while he "covers the rear". When actually forced to fight, his untouchable AC build and feat upped saves make him a useless, yet difficult player to strike down.
Race: Halfling
Class: Monk


Whitedove Peacenik

When the world needs heroes to rise to the challange of taking down a great evil, White is just one step ahead...

-in the blast radius trying to talk the invading zombie force into surrendering. Mr. Peacenik never really grasped the concept of fighting, his whole build revolves around the philosophy that all conflict can be avoided with drawn out conversations, and trying to understand the feelings of your enemy. His habits include getting in the way. Crying when weapons are drawn, and getting fished out of the remains of an ooze with a half dissolved olive branch still grasped firmly in hand.
Race: Half-Elf
Class: Bard, Cleric, or DruidPut these three together and you've got someone I've gamed with.
He actively tries to make his characters as weak as possible because anything else is being a "munchkin". Whenever we encounter an enemy, he wants to negotiate with them. When that fails, he runs away to hide or do something completely ineffective. He does deviate from this pattern when the rest of the party thinks it would be a good idea to negotiate. That's when he's adamantly opposed to negotiation and wants an immediate frontal assault.

PirateMonk
2007-02-26, 07:18 PM
If you produce a document claiming that you, the most horrible killer in the world, have been personally invited to the royal ball by the king himself

There's actually a GURPS magic item for that, kind of: The All-Purpose Identity Paper. It makes up a position for you to be to excuse your current behavior, basically; things can go wrong, of course...

Kosmopolite
2007-03-02, 12:11 PM
Psychic paper from Doctor Who!

Indon
2007-03-02, 01:12 PM
Mr. I always liked this...!
Is in favour of strange/weird/exotic classes/class combinations and/or feats/spells. Ever seen a Wizard/Fighter/Rogue with Two-Weapon Fighting?

It is inevitable that on any list like this, a player is going to find himself eventually. Looks like I found myself.

Grendita
2007-03-02, 05:01 PM
Mr. TKer...
No matter what the rest of the party is up to, HE will find a way to put a stop to it! He will cheat, murder and otherwise inconvience the party until they decide enough is enough and kill him. He will then bring back another character that has an inexplicable Vendetta against the party and start the process all over again.
Quote: "While he attacks that demon, I'll stab him in the back!"
Classes: Most often poorly played Rogues/Wizard/Anything that looks cool
Alignment: Chaotic or Lawful Stupid

The Couple
When these two are seperate they may well be perfectly good gamers but when they are together Oh no! You only get a response when you intercede with a crowbar and pry them apart long enough.

Mr. I can do it too! (With Kandoo!)
Alternately appears as "Mr I have always liked this!" He picks another player's concepts and trys to copy it, Badly. When he realises he fails miserably, he then reverts to Mr. TK mode and tries to kill everybody better than he is. He then gets killed (Either through his own stupidity or Party Intervention) and then picks an outlandish idea (See Mr. I have always liked this...) with an inexplicable vendetta towards the party.

ssjKammak
2007-03-02, 05:52 PM
Gday

the couple
The other variation to the couple I see far to often is the two you want to hit with a crowbar because everything happening in game means they have to argue about there relationship.

I should be playing diablo
The type of player who believe roelplaying is for suckers and any role playing is just a delay inbetween battles, has a bad habit of causing fights whenever possible. Only takes feats that increase mellee or spell dmaage. Generally believes the game is a competition between himself and the rest fo the party.

the loot whoare
The person who insists on every piece of loot going to them, generally always has an excuse or poorly concieved justification for why he deserves the loot. Also has a habit of taking loot that they cannot use in case they multiclass later

Cheers
A friendly aussie

Krellen
2007-03-02, 06:01 PM
Emo McAngstyGoth.
A real angsty, dark, brooding character. Has multiple personalities and/or voices in his heads.
I'm playing an Emo McAngsty over on another forum right now. He's a Crazy with Multiple Personalities from Rifts. Though he does talk to the rest of the party; thinks himself the leader of the group, really.

dorshe1
2007-03-03, 05:35 PM
Sir Wizard McWizardson

Always a new gamer to the table who had a high level wizard with his previous party. Rants and rants how ineffective other classes are. He can't understand why he can't play his level 27 wizard in your level 4 gaming group.

Quote: DM: The king asks you to take on this mission to crush evil and save the kingdom.
Sir Wizard: You know sir, you can just take out 100,000 gp and hire a lvl 20 wizard from McWizard's down the street to handle it for you...
__

Sir Wizard: What do you mean there is a water elemental? I've got spells that would let me know there was an encounter coming.

DM: Did you cast the spell?

Sir Wizard: ... yes?

__

Sir Wizard: What? My wizard can't be dead!!! They are too hard to kill. If you would have let me play my epic wizard this wouldn't have happened..... Oh well, give me 4d6. The party doesn't have a wizard so I guess I'll have to make another one. Are you sure I can't just bring in my lvl 27 wizard?

JellyPooga
2007-03-03, 06:28 PM
Quote: "I role my bardic lore to see what MacGuyver would have done...."


Gotta love MacGuyver! Tee Hee...that is now my favourite D&D quote.:smallbiggrin:

Vodun
2007-03-04, 01:06 PM
Mr. Cultural Reference.

Mr. Cultural Reference believes that it is his responsibility, nay, his god given duty to only create characters that fit some sort of racial stereotype. For example, a black fighter that had the head of his heavy flail painted like a watermelon, or a minnesotan Cleric that was far too nice and polite, even to the pit fiend that was killing him (that one was actually funny), or even a gay sorcerer that used exclusively colorful spells (specificly color spray, flare, glitter dust, rainbow pattern, faerie fire, dancning lights, and blur) (that one at least mechanicaly worked, but it was tiring to have every other male PC in the party refered to as "sailor".)

The Glyphstone
2007-03-04, 04:37 PM
Eeyore

Eeyore always sees the worst coming, whether it's actually there or not. At the slightest sign of less than total success, he will sink into a fugue of agst and depression similar to the internal monologue of Angsty McEmoGoth, only out loud. Comments about his total uselessness and lack of effectiveness abound, as do continuous attempts to kill off his character when his "morale" reaches yet another rock bottom. Of course, said depression will grow further when the dice fail to roll totally against him, or the party saves him. If he does succeed in dying and creating a new character, the cycle resumes after a single missed attack roll, failed save, or failed skill check.
Quote: "This is a waste of time...I fail at everything."
Class: Often Rogue, Wizard, or other situational-dependent character
Alignment: Chaotic Whiner

OOTS_Rules.
2007-03-04, 10:06 PM
Background Bob

This guy is the complete opposite of a "Roll-Player." He makes the most obtuse character ever, such as a Dual-Class Half-Elven Ranger who is also a Wizard, that also is an eighth Dwarvish, a sixteenth Gnomish, a sixteenth Murloc, and a half-orc.

Yes, that means he is. . .

25% Elven
25% Orcish
25% Human
12.5% Dwarven
6.25% Gnomish
6.25% Murloc

However, as soon as a battle begins, he annoys everybody by taking hours to make an in-character descision for his character, and then enacts it in front of the entire group with his Rangeresque(tm) Ranger Kit. Then, he gets killed because his decision was as stupid as his character choice. (Part Murloc. I laugh at my hillarious descision)

Kurald Galain
2007-09-02, 04:49 PM
The DM's girlfriend
Let's call her Mary. Mary herself is the kind of person who wants to "win" but isn't good at it, and therefore powerplays in an ineffective way, such as by "accidentally" mis-remembering how a spell works, and not bringing the relevant rulebook along. Since she's ineffective, this usually doesn't work, and she gets bitchy at the DM - who is a total pushover and will give her saving throws to avoid regular combat attacks, and send a High Priest to heal her the instant her character gets injured.

Race: immortal sun elf dragon hybrid
Class: dual class fighter/wizard
Alignment: chaotic selfish

Mr. Not Stormwind
This is the kind of guy who will lower his rolled stats because he considers that better roleplaying. While he's generally a decent enough player, it just feels kind of silly that he automatically assumes he'll roleplay better if he intentionally makes a semi-crappy character.

Race: half-elf
Class: samurai
Alignment: good

The not-so-dashing not-so-swordsman
Elan gets a bonus in combat if he makes a pun. Some players apparently think they'll get more social respect if they consistently make abhorrently bad puns during the game - up to and including asking every single NPC out on a date, regardless of age, race, gender, or anachronism. He will usually take a name that is obviously from the 20th century for a medieval campaign, or a name that sounds like genitalia or excrement. Because, you know, all references to poo are automatically hilarious.

Race: otyugh
Class: wiz-ars, hee hee hee! or fart-barian, ho ho ho!
Alignment: idiotic neutral

It's balanced, honestly
The kind of player who, through incessant whining or simply a pushover DM, manages to get a weird character into play that is grossly overpowered, such as having a 22 Dex score (when rolled on 3d6, before racial adjustment), or getting a 7th-level wizard in a 1st-level party. Will make increasingly-convoluted nonsensical arguments when the rest of the group complain about his upstaging everyone else. This kind of player is also prone to making a CE character in a LG group, assuming that they can't kick his char out because "he's a player character".

Race: ogre mage with no LA
Class: wizard/primal caster/arcane adept/dread necromancer/initiate of the sevenfold cheese/archmage
Alignment: lawful evil

The computer gamer
Although this doesn't apply to contemporary games, in older games every element in the game was put there for a reason. This player, when roleplaying, will therefore assume that everything he encounters in-game is there for a good reason, even if the DM was just making up some flavor at random. Will spend inordinate amounts of time interviewing every single bartender and shopkeeper NPC.

Race: elf
Class: any
Alignment: lawful tedious


The worst part? None of these are in any way fictional or even exaggerated! (and don't get me started on thread necromancers ... :smalltongue: )

Tengu
2007-09-02, 06:03 PM
The Threadomancers
http://www.mythinglinks.org/Dianne~necromancy~r35darkd.jpg


(Sorry, I had to.)

EDIT: Ouch, an hour-long edit ninja! Talk about speed on my part.

horseboy
2007-09-02, 08:27 PM
Baccus Olympian
Tired of the same old dungeon crawls? Baccus makes sure you never even get there! With his amusing collection of bar sports you will spend the entire night at the bar. Of course, after a few visits from Baccus DM's do learn to never start a campaign at an inn/bar/tavern.
Location: Bar, until it gets burned down (again).
Race: Dwarf
Quote: Holds up a sign that says: "We want bearded bush!"
Race: Any, usually fighter.
Alignment: Drunk stupor

Moff Chumley
2007-09-02, 08:55 PM
Once, me and several friends all decided to be members of eight bit theatre. I got to be Black Mage, and my little brother was fighter :smallcool: . I usually DM, and my replacement got very annoyed when I killed all of his NPC's.
Me (Black Mage): I am a careful defender of roleplaying. I killed every npc we came into contact with.
Brother (Fighter): My brother is very bright. Every actions was, I run up and attack. With my sword.
Best Friend (Red Mage): Very Strong ethics. Changed everything on his character sheet without the DM noticing for an hour.
Other Guy (Thief): Always plays a fighter. Helped me reenact this (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=070430).

TheLogman
2007-09-02, 09:14 PM
Zepher

He hates to follow any sort of plot at all, and is always completely silly, killing willy nilly, refusing to follow any hook, and never doing anything but the exact opposite of what you want him to. You know how being a DM is always compared to herding kittens? Well, this is the blind, ADHD, heard a funny noise over there kitten, the only that you want so badly to succeed, but he sadly never will.
Quote: "So basically, its a huge chunk of a Living bolt of Lightening? Heheh, I pee on it."
Race: Half-Elf, just because he knows the DM hates them, and he knows they don't work well with anyone.
Class: Paladin, because it allows him to randomly kill things, and have some sort of justification why he can't just do what the DM wants to do.
Alignment: "Lawful Good" supposedly, but he acts more Chaotic Stupid, the only Good things he does are kill Evil things.

Victor

A Loud-mouthed, V-clone that does nothing but rant about their "Ultimate Power" The actually do little or nothing, claiming some sort of "Moral Elven Code" that haven't come up until now, they insist on following all local laws, regardless of plot points, they play as cowards, and even though they are Lawful, they refuse to work with the group.
Quote: "You Dragons don't scare me! I hold ULTIMATE POWER!, oh, umm, Invisibility, Fly, Fighter, you have a good BaB, take them down, I'm against Violence"
Race: Elf
Class: Wizard
Alignment: "Lawful Neutral, aka "Lawful Stupid"

BRC
2007-09-02, 09:23 PM
I have a Macguevyer in my Paranoia Group, he is also a packrat. *Ahem*

Mister-8-ball: Will end every plan with "how will that work", expects DM to explain the outcome before plan is actually carried out. Best countered with a "How do you want to find out?"(my DM's mantra).

Jack-Of-One Trade: The player has a skill, often thrown in there randomly, such as stealth on a Kick-in-the-door character, and will constantly remind everybody they have that skill, considers it to define their character. Example (Fighter with bluff).

DM: the fifty Hobgoblins move towrds you, weapons out. they are calling dibs on your armor.
Jack: Guys, don't run, I'll bluff them.

Mister Potential: Has crunched some numbers and found out how much damage he is capable of dealing with one attack. Dosn't factor in the fact that dice don't always come up as six, that attacks don't always succeed, and that the enemy will be hitting back.

Accidental-Genius: Has never played before, but managed to make the perfect race/class combination for the encounters you use. Picked race/class because the names sounded cool.

tannish2
2007-09-03, 02:20 AM
ill call him fred

i actually have one of thses, this player always falls asleep during games often as soon as their butt hits the chair, they play great characters for both RP and combat purposes, they have genious ideas when they are awake, and RP very well, but, they are never awake for the game, they are incredibly fun to play with... when they are awake
race: any powerful
class: anything thats weird, cool, AND good.
quote: "*wakeup*wha oh um... ya im awake *looks at board* ok, this should be the perfect spell to kill about half of them *rolls* *sleeps" "DM: "i suppose you guys want treasure now."

Hadrian_Emrys
2007-09-03, 02:28 AM
I think it's kind of sad seeing these sort of characters ID's as "nightmare players" ...

Both types of players have made inadvertent, yet still somehow valiant, attempts at killing games I've run or played in. The themes, if done right, can be interesting. Problem is, these are nightmare players. The themes were not done right by a long shot.

DiscipleofBob
2007-09-03, 01:24 PM
Casanova:

Has to hit on everything that remotely resembles a female, whether he's playing a male or female character. Might hit on guys too if he's playing an elf. Believes even the worst pickup line should work if he rolls high enough. Favored stat is ALWAYS charisma. Favored spells include Suggestion, Charm Person, etc. Extra fun if he's playing a Changeling and tries to seduce the other PC's.

Race: Elf, Half-Elf, or Changeling if he can get away with it.
Class: Bard/Beguiler
Quote: "Hey, babe, do you work at the UPS because I saw you checkin' out my package." *rolls* "I got a 40. Does she sleep with me?"


Girl Gamer 1: Striperella: Plays the sluttiest character archetype possible. Also favors high Charisma and enchantment spells. Puts skills in Diplomacy, Seduction, Use Rope, Perform (lude acts), and Profession (Hooker). Main motivation in the campaign is to seduce the Paladin, since he's the most challenging. If she ever fails at her primary goal or gets otherwise upset, she'll sleep with the next best thing she can. Usually made even more awkward by dating one of the other gamers at the table.

Race: Female
Class: Bard
Quote: "Want to do a Search on me? I'll let you take 20." *giggle*


Girl Gamer 2: Miss Bored: Might actually be interested in gaming, might not be. For the moment though, since it's not her turn in combat, she'll be crocheting or even leaving the table to take a nap since she has a headache. Will play whatever she's encouraged to play, and will spend more time taking care of the random NPC child then actually doing quests.

Race: Human
Class: The one with the least work.
Quote: "Hm? It's my turn again? Fine..."


Girl Gamer 3: The Feminist: Gets upset at any implication that a culture may not give women the same full, equal rights and respect (if not more) as men. Talks down to captured princesses and flirty barmaids, believes that all female adventurers should be ugly and as heavily armored or robed as possible.

Race: Half-Orc/Dwarf
Class: Barbarian (It's hard to distinguish between rages in game and out of game.)
Quote: "Chainmail bikinis?! That is so sexist!"


Girl Gamer 4: The New Ager: And you thought Christians might have some issues with DnD? The New Ager takes the mythological references and such VERY seriously. Loves LARPs and Renaissance fairs. Sews her own costumes and everything. Whatever you do, don't let her near a Deck of Many Things.

Race: Elf
Class: Druid
Quote: "What? No, that's not how Druids act. Let me explain..."

Dausuul
2007-09-03, 02:46 PM
The Lord of Splat
This fellow comes to the table loaded down with splatbooks... and wants to use every single one of them. He possesses an encyclopedic knowledge of the whole of D&D rules-lore, down to the last feat and prestige class in "Races of Cardboard: We're Out Of Ideas But We Have To Pay The Rent Somehow." To the Lord of Splat, anything Wizards of the Coast has ever printed deserves to be included in every campaign, and he assumes this is the case unless the DM specifically tells him otherwise--book by book and class by class. At which point much grumbling ensues.

Quote: "Yeah, it's a prestige class from the Book of Vile... what? It's a standard rulebook! Why not?"
Race: Two-third-slaad (from the Book of Genetic Abnormalities)
Alignment: Uncertain Negative (from the Complete Alignment)
Class: Five of them, minimum

The Ghost of Splatbooks Yet To Come
The Ghost is similar to the Lord of Splat, except that he doesn't actually have the splatbooks he wants to use. He doesn't need them, however, because he "knows the rules already." If the DM is foolish enough to trust this assertion, the Ghost will then conveniently forget all manner of limitations and drawbacks to his abilities, resulting in a horribly overpowered character.

Quote: "I'm going to channel all my power points into it, which makes the save DC... let me see... 54. Nah, there's no limit on how many PPs you can use. Trust me, I know these rules backward and forward."
Race: Half-Tarrasque, without the usual +43 level adjustment
Alignment: CN
Class: Psion (what else?)

Kaelik
2007-09-03, 03:16 PM
The Lord of Splat
This fellow comes to the table loaded down with splatbooks... and wants to use every single one of them. He possesses an encyclopedic knowledge of the whole of D&D rules-lore, down to the last feat and prestige class in "Races of Cardboard: We're Out Of Ideas But We Have To Pay The Rent Somehow." To the Lord of Splat, anything Wizards of the Coast has ever printed deserves to be included in every campaign, and he assumes this is the case unless the DM specifically tells him otherwise--book by book and class by class. At which point much grumbling ensues.

Quote: "Yeah, it's a prestige class from the Book of Vile... what? It's a standard rulebook! Why not?"
Race: Two-third-slaad (from the Book of Genetic Abnormalities)
Alignment: Uncertain Negative (from the Complete Alignment)
Class: Five of them, minimum

Combine this with these two:


Mr. I've got one...!
Is capable of playing almost every class from PHB and proves it. Changes his characters more regularly than a standard rollplayer changes his underwear...

Mr. I always liked this...!
Is in favour of strange/weird/exotic classes/class combinations and/or feats/spells. Ever seen a Wizard/Fighter/Rogue with Two-Weapon Fighting?

And you got a real winner.

That is to say...me.

Roland St. Jude
2007-09-03, 03:22 PM
Sheriff of Moddingham: Thread closed.


Please Don't
Thread Necromancy
Bringing a thread back from “the dead.” If a thread has fallen to page three and hasn’t been posted to in for a month and a half, don’t post to it. Start a new topic if you want to discuss the subject.