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InaVegt
2007-02-21, 03:17 PM
Well the the title pretty much says it. As for my favourite:

This one DM in my home campaign said he wanted long background with plenty of hooks, so I went and wrote 20 of (A4) pages at a font about the size of this post, with about 100 hooks in it. When I handed the package to my DM he looked at it and said: (translation to english) "1st level characters can't have half a novel of background."

The_Werebear
2007-02-21, 03:23 PM
I did a character with my girlfriend, a brother/sister dwarf team who hated each others guts. She was the older sibling, an aspiring wizard, and I was the younger brother, a barbarian's whose rage was actually a temper tantrum.

The DM was laughing so hard he nearly cried.

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-02-21, 03:57 PM
I once did the cosmically long background route. It involved half a continent, several important figures and monsters that I provided stats for, unique items and artifacts, a lengthy history, economics, social structures, battlefield tactics, three different major religions, several myths, and a large political game. The DM was fascinated about how I went to these lengths to create a perfectly reasonable roleplaying scenario for me to own a 10,000 man army, three very unique items, and a future homebrewed prestige class at level 1.

He made me outfit the army myself, though. The total sum of equipping them and building my stronghold ended up somewhere in the neighborhood of 60 million gold pieces. I was glad to be a chaotic rogue.

Folie
2007-02-21, 04:01 PM
I wrote that my halfling character spent her childhood playing traditional halfling games, such as Throw The Rock, Throw The Stick, and Throw The Rock And Then The Stick Shortly Thereafter, and my DM found it very funny.


Once in game, my halfling was playing some traditional music on the fiddle in public and I botched her Perform check, so an armored bear (a blatant ripoff of Iorek Byrnison from the His Dark Materials trilogy, of course) came up and tried to give her a good smack with his paw. Dodging the blow, our heroine indignantly shouted at him, "Hey! These songs are a part of my culture! Stop oppressing my culture, you ethnocentric bitch!"

Fhaolan
2007-02-21, 04:36 PM
I wrote that my halfling character spent her childhood playing traditional halfling games, such as Throw The Rock, Throw The Stick, and Throw The Rock And Then The Stick Shortly Thereafter, and my DM found it very funny.


Wait! I've heard this one before... But I can't for the life of me remember where...

Shoot. I've lost it.

Do I know anyone from your area, who might have told me this story? Minnesota/Illinois... Uhm... You woudn't happen to know Rick Van Meter, would you? My American geography is incredibly vague, so I might be mixing up locations. Other than that, I have to start diving into old screen names from when I was gaming online more than now. :)

Folie
2007-02-21, 04:40 PM
1. You've seen the joke here:
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0125.html

2. Never heard of Rick Van Meter, sorry. :smallbiggrin:

Fhaolan
2007-02-21, 04:52 PM
1. You've seen the joke here:
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0125.html

2. Never heard of Rick Van Meter, sorry. :smallbiggrin:

Ah, okay. I knew I remembered it from somewhere. :)

Dairun Cates
2007-02-21, 05:36 PM
I'm running a game where the "Ex-Yugioh Player" is one of the more sane character backgrounds. I'd wince, but I've seen worse from the same group.

Deme
2007-02-21, 05:42 PM
A friend of mine once created a character who had a fake past for a campaign I was running. It was logical, and gave a full explination for why he had a past that was entirely false but he believed it was true. I still said,
"You don't want me to find a hook in this, do you?"

I found one anyway...mwahaha!

Dairun Cates
2007-02-21, 05:44 PM
A friend of mine once created a character who had a fake past for a campaign I was running. It was logical, and gave a full explination for why he had a past that was entirely false but he believed it was true. I still said,
"You don't want me to find a hook in this, do you?"

I found one anyway...mwahaha!

Seems like that background would be a hook in itself.

Deme
2007-02-21, 05:50 PM
Seems like that background would be a hook in itself.

It was...or rather, him finding out it was all fake was. The reasons why he had fake memories were fairly unworkable. I did eventually, before her character found it was fake, ask for the character's real background.

So much emotional damage....it was so beautiful it hurt.

Swordguy
2007-02-21, 08:29 PM
This type of background makes DMs cry:

Linked for Language
Something Positive Comic (http://i115.photobucket.com/albums/n294/wolffe42/sp05032002.gif)

Brauron
2007-02-21, 09:57 PM
"Wait wait wait...let me get this straight? You're character was a GALLEY-SLAVE?"

My DM got a good laugh out of that. I'm not sure if I should be disturbed or not.

Soniku
2007-02-21, 10:04 PM
For a cheesy 80s superhero campaign that never really got going recently I decided to play an ex-police detective who, in a series of random events, ended up with his parents killing each other and then getting dumped in a pit of radioactive piranhas. All in all the background was really boring because I wrote it when I was tired, but I can still remember my GMs amused comment:

"I give you three experience for "Special people class" and the Beatles records as a murder weapon"

Phoenix Talion
2007-02-21, 10:20 PM
I dunno about DMs, but my characters tend to break other players' sanity. (Especially if they're playing paladins.) The most noteworthy of these is a current character named Talkasha Entreri.

She bears no relationship whatsoever to the assassin of the same surname. It's a total coincidence. But the other players don't know this, and they're breaking their heads over how I got the DM, who has a semi-legendary hatred of Mary Sues to let me play such a blatent one. Especially when I say something that refers to her past, like "Heh, don't worry about my siblings following in my footsteps- I'm the only one who takes after my father.", and you can practically see the wheels in their heads turning.

Truth is, the DM thought it was funny too. She has an intact, wholesome, non-tragic, non-mysterious past and a surname that happens to be a minor recurring nuisance. That's it.